第1章

ToMonsieurleBaronJamesdeRothschild,BankerandAustrianConsul-GeneralatParis。

AMANOFBUSINESS

Theword/lorette/isaeuphemisminventedtodescribethestatusofapersonage,orapersonageofastatus,ofwhichitisawkwardtospeak;theFrenchAcademie,initsmodesty,havingomittedtosupplyadefinitionoutofregardfortheageofitsfortymembers。Wheneveranewwordcomestosupplytheplaceofanunwieldycircumlocution,itsfortuneisassured;theword/lorette/haspassedintothelanguageofeveryclassofsociety,evenwheretheloretteherselfwillnevergainanentrance。Itwasonlyinventedin1840,andderivedbeyondadoubtfromtheagglomerationofsuchswallows\'nestsabouttheChurchofOurLadyofLoretto。Thisinformationisforetymoligistsonly。

Thosegentlemenwouldnotbesoofteninaquandaryifmediaevalwritershadonlytakensuchpainswithdetailsofcontemporarymannersaswetakeinthesedaysofanalysisanddescription。

Mlle。Turquet,orMalaga,forsheisbetterknownbyherpseudonym(See/LafausseMaitresse/。),wasoneoftheearliestparishionersofthatcharmingchurch。Atthetimetowhichthisstorybelongs,thatlightheartedandlivelydamselgladdenedtheexistenceofanotarywithawifesomewhattoobigoted,rigid,andfrigidfordomestichappiness。

Now,itsofelloutthatoneCarnivaleveningMaitreCardotwasentertainingguestsatMlle。Turquet\'shouse——Desrochestheattorney,Bixiouofthecaricatures,Lousteauthejournalist,Nathan,andothers;itisquiteunnecessarytogiveanyfurtherdescriptionofthesepersonages,allbearersofillustriousnamesinthe/ComedieHumaine/。YoungLaPalferine,inspiteofhistitleofCountandhisgreatdescent,which,alas!meansagreatdescentinfortunelikewise,hadhonoredthenotary\'slittleestablishmentwithhispresence。

Atdinner,insuchahouse,onedoesnotexpecttomeetthepatriarchalbeef,theskinnyfowlandsaladofdomesticandfamilylife,noristhereanyattemptatthehypocriticalconversationofdrawing-roomsfurnishedwithhighlyrespectablematrons。When,alas!

willrespectabilitybecharming?Whenwillthewomeningoodsocietyvouchsafetoshowratherlessoftheirshouldersandrathermorewitorgeniality?MargueriteTurquet,theAspasiaoftheCirque-Olympique,isoneofthosefrank,verylivingpersonalitiestowhomallisforgiven,suchunconscioussinnersarethey,suchintelligentpenitents;ofsuchasMalagaonemightask,likeCardot——awittymanenough,albeitanotary——tobewell\"deceived。”Andyetyoumustnotthinkthatanyenormitieswerecommitted。DesrochesandCardotweregoodfellowsgrowntoograyintheprofessionnottofeelateasewithBixiou,Lousteau,Nathan,andyoungLaPalferine。Andtheyontheirsidehadtoooftenhadrecoursetotheirlegaladvisers,andknewthemtoowelltotryto\"drawthemout,\"inlorettelanguage。

Conversation,perfumedwithsevencigars,atfirstwasasfantasticasakidletloose,butfinallyitsettleddownuponthestrategyoftheconstantwarwagedinParisbetweencreditorsanddebtors。

Now,ifyouwillbesogoodastorecallthehistoryandantecedentsoftheguests,youwillknowthatinallParis,youcouldscarcelyfindagroupofmenwithmoreexperienceinthismatter;theprofessionalmenononehand,andtheartistsontheother,weresomethinginthepositionofmagistratesandcriminalshobnobbingtogether。AsetofBixiou\'sdrawingstoillustratelifeinthedebtors\'prison,ledtheconversationtotakethisparticularturn;

andfromdebtors\'prisonstheywenttodebts。

Itwasmidnight。Theyhadbrokenupintolittleknotsroundthetableandbeforethefire,andgavethemselvesuptotheburlesquefunwhichisonlypossibleorcomprehensibleinParisandinthatparticularregionwhichisboundedbytheFaubourgMontmartre,theRueChausseed\'Antin,theupperendoftheRuedeNavarinandthelineoftheboulevards。

Intenminutes\'timetheyhadcometoanendofallthedeepreflections,allthemoralizings,smallandgreat,allthebadpunsmadeonasubjectalreadyexhaustedbyRabelaisthreehundredandfiftyyearsago。ItwasnotalittletotheircreditthatthepyrotechnicdisplaywascutshortwithafinalsquibfromMalaga。

\"Itallgoestotheshoemakers,\"shesaid。\"Ileftamillinerbecauseshefailedtwicewithmyhats。Thevixenhasbeenheretwenty-seventimestoaskfortwentyfrancs。Shedidnotknowthatweneverhavetwentyfrancs。Onehasathousandfrancs,oronesendstoone\'snotaryforfivehundred;buttwentyfrancsIhaveneverhadinmylife。Mycookandmymaidmay,perhaps,havesomuchbetweenthem;butformyownpart,Ihavenothingbutcredit,andIshouldlosethatifItooktoborrowingsmallsums。IfIweretoaskfortwentyfrancs,Ishouldhavenothingtodistinguishmefrommycolleaguesthatwalktheboulevard。”

\"Isthemillinerpaid?\"askedLaPalferine。

\"Oh,comenow,areyouturningstupid?\"saidshe,withawink。\"Shecamethismorningforthetwenty-seventhtime,thatishowIcametomentionit。”

\"Whatdidyoudo?\"askedDesroches。

\"Itookpityuponher,and——orderedalittlehatthatIhavejustinvented,aquitenewshape。IfMlle。Amandasucceedswithit,shewillsaynomoreaboutthemoney,herfortuneismade。”

\"Inmyopinion,\"putinDesroches,\"thefinestthingsthatIhaveseeninaduelofthiskindgivethosewhoknowParisafarbetterpictureofthecitythanallthefancyportraitsthattheypaint。Someofyouthinkthatyouknowathingortwo,\"hecontinued,glancingroundatNathan,Bixiou,LaPalferine,andLousteau,\"butthekingofthegroundisacertainCount,nowbusyranginghimself。Inhistime,hewassupposedtobethecleverest,adroitest,canniest,boldest,stoutest,mostsubtleandexperiencedofallthepirates,who,equippedwithfinemanners,yellowkidgloves,andcabs,haveeversailedoreverwillsailuponthestormyseasofParis。HefearsneitherGodnorman。HeappliesinprivatelifetheprinciplesthatguidetheEnglishCabinet。Uptothetimeofhismarriage,hislifewasonecontinualwar,like——Lousteau\'s,forinstance。Iwas,andamstillhissolicitor。”

\"AndthefirstletterofhisnameisMaximedeTrailles,\"saidLaPalferine。

\"Forthatmatter,hehaspaideveryone,andinjurednoone,\"

continuedDesroches。\"ButasyourfriendBixiouwassayingjustnow,itisaviolationofthelibertyofthesubjecttobemadetopayinMarchwhenyouhavenomindtopaytillOctober。Byvirtueofthisarticleofhisparticularcode,Maximeregardedacreditor\'sschemeformakinghimpayatonceasaswindler\'strick。Itwasalongtimesincehehadgraspedthesignificanceofthebillofexchangeinallitsbearings,directandremote。Ayoungmanonce,inmyplace,calledabillofexchangethe\'asses\'bridge\'inhishearing。\'No,\'saidhe,\'itistheBridgeofSighs;itistheshortestwaytoanexecution。\'

Indeed,hisknowledgeofcommerciallawwassocomplete,thataprofessionalcouldnothavetaughthimanything。Atthattimehehadnothing,asyouknow。Hiscarriageandhorseswerejobbed;helivedinhisvalet\'shouse;and,bytheway,hewillbeaherotohisvalettotheendofthechapter,evenafterthemarriagethatheproposestomake。Hebelongedtothreeclubs,anddinedatoneofthemwheneverhedidnotdineout。Asarule,hewastobefoundveryseldomathisownaddress——\"

\"Heoncesaidtome,\"interruptedLaPalferine,\"\'MyoneaffectationisthepretencethatImakeoflivingintheRuePigalle。\'\"

\"Well,\"resumedDesroches,\"hewasoneofthecombatants;andnowfortheother。YouhaveheardmoreorlesstalkofoneClaparon?\"

\"Hadhairlikethis!\"criedBixiou,rufflinghislockstilltheystoodonend。GiftedwiththesametalentformimickingabsurditieswhichChopinthepianistpossessestosohighadegree,heproceededforthwithtorepresentthecharacterwithstartlingtruth。

\"Herollshisheadlikethiswhenhespeaks;hewasonceacommercialtraveler;hehasbeenallsortsofthings——\"

\"Well,hewasborntotravel,foratthisminute,asIspeak,heisontheseaonhiswaytoAmerica,\"saidDesroches。\"Itishisonlychance,forinallprobabilityhewillbecondemnedbydefaultasafraudulentbankruptnextsession。”

\"Verymuchatsea!\"exclaimedMalaga。

\"ForsixorsevenyearsthisClaparonactedasmanofstraw,cat\'spaw,andscapegoattotwofriendsofours,duTilletandNucingen;butin1829hispartwassowellknownthat——\"

\"Ourfriendsdroppedhim,\"putinBixiou。

\"Theylefthimtohisfateatlast,andhewallowedinthemire,\"

continuedDesroches。\"In1833hewentintopartnershipwithoneCerizet——\"

\"What!hethatpromotedajoint-stockcompanysonicelythattheSixthChambercutshorthiscareerwithacoupleofyearsinjail?\"askedthelorette。

\"Thesame。UndertheRestoration,between1823and1827,Cerizet\'soccupationconsistedinfirstputtinghisnameintrepidlytovariousparagraphs,onwhichthepublicprosecutorfastenedwithavidity,andsubsequentlymarchingofftoprison。Amancouldmakeanameforhimselfwithsmallexpenseinthosedays。TheLiberalpartycalledtheirprovincialchampion\'thecourageousCerizet,\'andtowards1828

somuchzealreceiveditsrewardin\'generalinterest。\'

\"\'Generalinterest\'isakindofciviccrownbestowedonthedeservingbythedailypress。Cerizettriedtodiscountthe\'generalinterest\'takeninhim。HecametoParis,and,withsomehelpfromcapitalistsintheOpposition,startedasabroker,andconductedfinancialoperationstosomeextent,thecapitalbeingfoundbyamaninhiding,askilfulgamblerwhooverreachedhimself,andinconsequence,inJuly1830,hiscapitalfounderedintheshipwreckoftheGovernment。”

\"Oh!itwashewhomweusedtocalltheSystem,\"criedBixiou。

\"Saynoharmofhim,poorfellow,\"protestedMalaga。\"D\'Estournywasagoodsort。”

\"Youcanimaginethepartthataruinedmanwassuretoplayin1830

whenhisnameinpoliticswas\'thecourageousCerizet。”Hewassentoffintoaverysnuglittlesub-prefecture。Unluckilyforhim,itisonethingtobeinopposition——anymissileisgoodenoughtothrow,solongastheflightlasts;butquiteanothertobeinoffice。Threemonthslater,hewasobligedtosendinhisresignation。Hadhenottakenitintohisheadtoattempttowinpopularity?Still,ashehaddonenothingasyettoimperilhistitleof\'courageousCerizet,\'theGovernmentproposedbywayofcompensationthatheshouldmanageanewspaper;nominallyanOppositionnewspaper,butMinisterialist/inpetto/。SothefallofthisnoblenaturewasreallyduetotheGovernment。

ToCerizet,asmanagerofthepaper,itwasrathertooevidentthathewasasabirdperchedonarottenbough;andthenitwasthathepromotedthatnicelittlejoint-stockcompany,andtherebysecuredacoupleofyearsinprison;hewascaught,whilemoreingeniousswindlerssucceededincatchingthepublic。”

\"Weareacquaintedwiththemoreingenious,\"saidBixiou;\"letussaynoillofthepoorfellow;hewasnabbed;Coutureallowedthemtosqueezehiscash-box;whowouldeverhavethoughtitofhim?\"

\"Atallevents,Cerizetwasalowsortoffellow,agooddealdamagedbylowdebauchery。NowfortheduelIspokeabout。Neverdidtwotradesmenoftheworsttype,withtheworstmanners,thelowestpairofvillainsimaginable,gointopartnershipinadirtierbusiness。

Theirstock-in-tradeconsistedofthepeculiaridiomofthemanabouttown,theaudacityofpoverty,thecunningthatcomesofexperience,andaspecialknowledgeofParisiancapitalists,theirorigin,connections,acquaintances,andintrinsicvalue。Thispartnershipoftwo\'dabblers\'(lettheStockExchangetermpass,foritistheonlywordwhichdescribesthem),thispartnershipofdabblersdidnotlastverylong。Theyfoughtlikefamishedcursovereverybitofgarbage。

\"TheearlierspeculationsofthefirmofCerizetandClaparonwere,however,wellplanned。ThetwoscampsjoinedforceswithBarbet,Chaboisseau,Samanon,andusurersofthatstamp,andboughtuphopelesslybaddebts。

\"Claparon\'splaceofbusinessatthattimewasacrampedentresolintheRueChabannais——fiveroomsatarentofsevenhundredfrancsatmost。Eachpartnersleptinalittlecloset,socarefullyclosedfromprudence,thatmyhead-clerkcouldnevergetinside。Thefurnitureoftheotherthreerooms——anante-chamber,awaiting-room,andaprivateoffice——wouldnothavefetchedthreehundredfrancsaltogetheratadistress-warrantsale。

YouknowenoughofParistoknowthelookofit;thestuffedhorsehair-coveredchairs,atablecoveredwithagreencloth,atrumperyclockbetweenacoupleofcandlesconces,growingtarnishedunderglassshades,thesmallgilt-framedmirroroverthechimney-piece,andinthegrateacharredstickortwooffirewoodwhichhadlastedthemfortwowinters,asmyhead-clerkputit。Asfortheoffice,youcanguesswhatitwaslike——moreletter-filesthanbusinessletters,asetofcommonpigeon-holesforeitherpartner,acylinderdesk,emptyasthecash-box,inthemiddleoftheroom,andacoupleofarmchairsoneithersideofacoalfire。Thecarpetonthefloorwasboughtcheapatsecond-hand(likethebillsandbaddebts)。

Inshort,itwasthemahoganyfurnitureoffurnishedapartmentswhichusuallydescendsfromoneoccupantofchamberstoanotherduringfiftyyearsofservice。Nowyouknowthepairofantagonists。

\"Duringthefirstthreemonthsofapartnershipdissolvedfourmonthslaterinaboutoffisticuffs,CerizetandClaparonboughtuptwothousandfrancs\'worthofbillsbearingMaxime\'ssignature(sinceMaximewashisname),andfilledacoupleofletterstoburstingwithjudgments,appeals,ordersofthecourt,distress-warrants,applicationforstayofproceedings,andalltherestofit;toputitbriefly,theyhadbillsforthreethousandtwohundredfrancsoddcentimes,forwhichtheyhadgivenfivehundredfrancs;thetransferbeingmadeunderprivateseal,withspecialpowerofattorney,tosavetheexpenseofregistration。Nowitsohappenedatthisjuncture,Maxime,beingofripeage,wasseizedwithoneofthefanciespeculiartothemanoffifty——\"

\"Antonia!\"exclaimedLaPalferine。\"ThatAntoniawhosefortuneImadebywritingtoaskforatoothbrush!\"

\"HerrealnameisChocardelle,\"saidMalaga,notoverwellpleasedbythefine-soundingpseudonym。

\"Thesame,\"continuedDesroches。

\"ItwastheonlymistakeMaximeevermadeinhislife。Butwhatwouldyouhave,noviceisabsolutelyperfect?\"putinBixiou。

\"Maximehadstilltolearnwhatsortofalifeamanmaybeledintobyagirlofeighteenwhensheismindedtotakeaheaderfromherhonestgarretintoasumptuouscarriage;itisalessonthatallstatesmenshouldtaketoheart。Atthistime,deMarsayhadjustbeenemployinghisfriend,ourfrienddeTrailles,inthehighcomedyofpolitics。Maximehadlookedhighforhisconquests;hehadnoexperienceofuntitledwomen;andatfiftyyearshefeltthathehadarighttotakeabiteoftheso-calledwildfruit,muchasasportsmanwillhaltunderapeasant\'sapple-tree。SotheCountfoundareading-

roomforMlle。Chocardelle,arathersmartlittleplacetobehadcheap,asusual——\"

\"Pooh!\"saidNathan。\"Shedidnotstayinitsixmonths。Shewastoohandsometokeepareading-room。”

\"Perhapsyouarethefatherofherchild?\"suggestedthelorette。

Desrochesresumed。

\"SincethefirmboughtupMaxime\'sdebts,Cerizet\'slikenesstoabailiff\'sofficergrewmoreandmorestriking,andonemorningaftersevenfruitlessattemptshesucceededinpenetratingintotheCount\'spresence。Suzon,theoldman-servant,albeithewasbynomeansinhisnovitiate,atlastmistookthevisitorforapetitioner,cometoproposeathousandcrownsifMaximewouldobtainalicensetosellpostagestampsforayounglady。Suzon,withouttheslightestsuspicionofthelittlescamp,athoroughbredParisstreet-boyintowhomprudencehadbeenrubbedbyrepeatedpersonalexperienceofthepolice-courts,inducedhismastertoreceivehim。Canyouseethemanofbusiness,withanuneasyeye,abaldforehead,andscarcelyanyhaironhishead,standinginhisthreadbarejacketandmuddyboots——\"

\"WhatapictureofaDun!\"criedLousteau。

\"——standingbeforetheCount,thatimageofflauntingDebt,inhisblueflanneldressing-gown,slippersworkedbysomeMarquiseorother,trousersofwhitewoolenstuff,andadazzlingshirt?Therehestood,withagorgeouscaponhisblackdyedhair,playingwiththetasselsathiswaist——\"

\"\'Tisabitofgenreforanybodywhoknowswhattheprettylittlemorningroom,hungwithsilkandfullofvaluablepaintings,whereMaximebreakfasts,\"saidNathan。\"YoutreadonaSmyrnacarpet,youadmirethesideboardsfilledwithcuriositiesandraritiesfittomakeaKingofSaxonyenvious——\"

\"Nowforthesceneitself,\"saidDesroches,andthedeepestsilencefollowed。

\"\'MonsieurleComte,\'beganCerizet,\'IhavecomefromaM。CharlesClaparon,whousedtobeabanker——\'

\"\'Ah!poordevil,andwhatdoeshewantwithme?\'

\"\'Well,heisatpresentyourcreditorforamatterofthreethousandtwohundredfrancs,seventy-fivecentimes,principal,interest,andcosts——\'

\"\'Coutelier\'sbusiness?\'putinMaxime,whoknewhisaffairsasapilotknowshiscoast。

\"\'Yes,MonsieurleComte,\'saidCerizetwithabow。\'Ihavecometoaskyourintentions。\'

\"\'Ishallonlypaywhenthefancytakesme,\'returnedMaxime,andherangforSuzon。\'ItwasveryrashofClaparontobuyupbillsofminewithoutspeakingtomebeforehand。Iamsorryforhim,forhedidsoverywellforsuchalongtimeasamanofstrawforfriendsofmine。

Ialwayssaidthatamanmustreallybeweakinhisintellecttoworkformenthatstuffthemselveswithmillions,andtoservethemsofaithfullyforsuchlowwages。Andnowherehegivesmeanotherproofofhisstupidity!Yes,mendeservewhattheyget。Itisyourowndoingwhetheryougetacrownonyourforeheadorabulletthroughyourhead;whetheryouareamillionaireoraporter,justiceisalwaysdoneyou。Icannothelpit,mydearfellow;Imyselfamnotaking,I

sticktomyprinciples。Ihavenopityforthosethatputmetoexpenseordonotknowtheirbusinessascreditors——Suzon!mytea!Doyouseethisgentleman?\'hecontinuedwhenthemancamein。\'Well,youhaveallowedyourselftobetakenin,pooroldboy。Thisgentlemanisacreditor;yououghttohaveknownhimbyhisboots。Nofriendnorfoeofmine,northosethatareneitherandwantsomethingofme,cometoseemeonfoot——MydearM。Cerizet,doyouunderstand?Youwillnotwipeyourbootsonmycarpetagain\'(lookingashespokeatthemudthatwhitenedtheenemy\'ssoles)。\'ConveymycomplimentsandsympathytoClaparon,poorbuffer,forIshallfilethisbusinessundertheletterZ。\'