\"Goodweatherfortheapple-blossoms。\"
\"Youbeatus；butwhenyouplaywithMonsieurdeValoisyouneverdootherwise。\"
\"Howmuchdidhewin？\"
\"Well，to-night，threeorfourfrancs；heneverloses。\"
\"True；anddon\'tyouknowtherearethreehundredandsixty-fivedaysayear？Atthatpricehisgainsarethevalueofafarm。\"
\"Ah!whathandswehadto-night!\"
\"Hereyouareathome，monsieurandmadame，howluckyyouare，whilewehavehalfthetowntocross!\"
\"Idon\'tpityyou；youcouldaffordacarriage，anddispensewiththefatigueofgoingonfoot。\"
\"Ah，monsieur!wehaveadaughtertomarry，whichtakesoffonewheel，andthesupportofoursoninPariscarriesoffanother。\"
\"Youpersistinmakingamagistrateofhim？\"
\"Whatelsecanbedonewithayoungman？Besides，there\'snoshameinservingtheking。\"
Sometimesadiscussiononcidersandflax，alwayscouchedinthesameterms，andreturningatthesametimeofyear，wascontinuedonthehomewardway。Ifanyobserverofhumancustomshadlivedinthisstreet，hewouldhaveknownthemonthsandseasonsbysimplyoverhearingtheconversations。
Onthisoccasionitwasexclusivelyjocose；forduBousquier，whochancedtomarchaloneinfrontofthegroups，washummingthewell-
knownair，——littlethinkingofitsappropriateness，——\"Tenderwoman!
hearthewarbleofthebirds，\"etc。Tosome，duBousquierwasastrongmanandamisjudgedman。Eversincehehadbeenconfirmedinhispresentofficebyaroyaldecree，MonsieurduRoncerethadbeeninfavorofduBousquier。Toothersthepurveyorseemeddangerous，——amanofbadhabits，capableofanything。Intheprovinces，asinParis，menbeforethepubliceyearelikethatstatueinthefineallegoricaltaleofAddison，forwhichtwoknightsonarrivingnearitfought；foronesawitwhite，theothersawitblack。Then，whentheywerebothofftheirhorses，theysawitwaswhiteonesideandblacktheother。
Athirdknightcomingalongdeclareditred。
Whenthechevalierwenthomethatnight，hemademanyreflections，asfollows:——
\"ItishightimenowtospreadarumorofmymarriagewithMademoiselleCormon。Itwillleakoutfromthed\'Esgrignonsalon，andgostraighttothebishopatSeez，andsogetroundthroughthegrandvicarstothecurateofSaint-Leonard\'s，whowillbecertaintotellittotheAbbeCouturier；andMademoiselleCormonwillgettheshotinherupperworks。TheoldMarquisd\'EsgrignonshallinvitetheAbbedeSpondetodinner，soastostopallgossipaboutMademoiselleCormonifIdecideagainsther，oraboutmeifsherefusesme。Theabbeshallbewellcajoled；andMademoiselleCormonwillcertainlynotholdoutagainstavisitfromMademoiselleArmande，whowillshowherthegrandeurandfuturechancesofsuchanalliance。Theabbe\'spropertyisundoubtedlyasmuchasthreehundredthousand；herownsavingsmustamounttomorethantwohundredthousand；shehasherhouseandPrebaudetandfifteenthousandfrancsayear。AwordtomyfriendtheComtedeFontaine，andIshouldbemayorofAlenconto-morrow，anddeputy。Then，onceseatedontheRightbenches，weshallreachthepeerage，shouting，\'Cloture!\'\'Ordre!\'\"
AssoonasshereachedhomeMadameGransonhadalivelyargumentwithherson，whocouldnotbemadetoseetheconnectionwhichexistedbetweenhisloveandhispoliticalopinions。Itwasthefirstquarrelthathadevertroubledthatpoorhousehold。
CHAPTERVI
FINALDISAPPOINTMENTANDITSFIRSTRESULT
Thenextday，MademoiselleCormon，packedintotheoldcarriolewithJosette，andlookinglikeapyramidonavastseaofparcels，droveuptherueSaint-BlaiseonherwaytoPrebaudet，whereshewasovertakenbyaneventwhichhurriedonhermarriage，——anevententirelyunlookedforbyeitherMadameGranson，duBousquier，MonsieurdeValois，orMademoiselleCormonhimself。Chanceisthegreatestofallartificers。
ThedayafterherarrivalatPrebaudet，shewasinnocentlyemployed，abouteighto\'clockinthemorning，inlistening，asshebreakfasted，tothevariousreportsofherkeeperandhergardener，whenJacquelinmadeaviolentirruptionintothedining-room。
\"Mademoiselle，\"hecried，outofbreath，\"Monsieurl\'abbesendsyouanexpress，thesonofMereGrosmort，withaletter。TheladleftAlenconbeforedaylight，andhehasjustarrived；heranlikePenelope!Can\'tIgivehimaglassofwine？\"
\"Whatcanhavehappened，Josette？Doyouthinkmyunclecanbe——\"
\"Hecouldn\'twriteifhewere，\"saidJosette，guessinghermistress\'sfears。
\"Quick!quick!\"criedMademoiselleCormon，assoonasshehadreadthefirstlines。\"TellJacquelintoharnessPenelope——Getready，Josette；
packupeverythinginhalfanhour。Wemustgobacktotown——\"
\"Jacquelin!\"calledJosette，excitedbythesentimentshesawonhermistress\'sface。
Jacquelin，informedbyJosette，cameintosay，——
\"But，mademoiselle，Penelopeiseatingheroats。\"
\"Whatdoesthatsignify？Imuststartatonce。\"
\"But，mademoiselle，itisgoingtorain。\"
\"Thenweshallgetwet。\"
\"Thehouseisonfire!\"mutteredJosette，piquedatthesilencehermistresskeptastothecontentsoftheletter，whichshereadandreread。
\"Finishyourcoffee，atanyrate，mademoiselle；don\'texciteyourblood；justseehowredyouare。\"
\"AmIred，Josette？\"shesaid，goingtoamirror，fromwhichthequicksilverwaspeeling，andwhichpresentedherfeaturestoherupsidedown。
\"Goodheavens!\"thoughtMademoiselleCormon，\"supposeIshouldlookugly!Come，Josette；come，mydear，dressmeatonce；IwanttobereadybeforeJacquelinhasharnessedPenelope。Ifyoucan\'tpackmythingsintime，Iwillleavethemhereratherthanloseasingleminute。\"
IfyouhavethoroughlycomprehendedthepositivemonomaniatowhichthedesireofmarriagehadbroughtMademoiselleCormon，youwillshareheremotion。TheworthyuncleannouncedinthissuddenmissivethatMonsieurdeTroisville，oftheRussianarmyduringtheEmigration，grandsonofoneofhisbestfriends，wasdesirousofretiringtoAlencon，andaskedhis，theabbe\'shospitality，onthegroundofhisfriendshipforhisgrandfather，theVicomtedeTroisville。
Theoldabbe，alarmedattheresponsibility，entreatedhisniecetoreturninstantlyandhelphimtoreceivethisguest，anddothehonorsofthehouse；fortheviscount\'sletterhadbeendelayed，andhemightdescenduponhisshouldersthatverynight。
AfterreadingthismissivecouldtherebeaquestionofthedemandsofPrebaudet？Thekeeperandthegardener，witnessestoMademoiselleCormon\'sexcitement，stoodasideandawaitedherorders。Butwhen，asshewasabouttoleavetheroom，theystoppedhertoaskforinstructions，forthefirsttimeinherlifethedespoticoldmaid，whosawtoeverythingatPrebaudetwithherowneyes，said，totheirstupefaction，\"Dowhatyoulike。\"Thisfromamistresswhocarriedheradministrationtothepointofcountingherfruits，andmarkingthemsoastoordertheirconsumptionaccordingtothenumberandconditionofeach!
\"IbelieveI\'mdreaming，\"thoughtJosette，asshesawhermistressflyingdownthestaircaselikeanelephanttowhichGodhasgivenwings。
Presently，inspiteofadrivingrain，MademoiselleCormondroveawayfromPrebaudet，leavingherfactotumswiththereinsontheirnecks。
JacquelindarednottakeuponhimselftohastentheusuallittletrotofthepeaceablePenelope，who，likethebeautifulqueenwhosenameshebore，hadanappearanceofmakingasmanystepsbackwardasshemadeforward。Impatientwiththepace，mademoiselleorderedJacquelininasharpvoicetodriveatagallop，withthewhip，ifnecessary，tothegreatastonishmentofthepoorbeast，soafraidwassheofnothavingtimetoarrangethehousesuitablytoreceiveMonsieurdeTroisville。Shecalculatedthatthegrandsonofheruncle\'sfriendwasprobablyaboutfortyyearsofage；asoldierjustfromservicewasundoubtedlyabachelor；andsheresolved，heruncleaiding，nottoletMonsieurdeTroisvillequittheirhouseintheconditionheenteredit。ThoughPenelopegalloped，MademoiselleCormon，absorbedinthoughtsofhertrousseauandthewedding-day，declaredagainandagainthat
Jacquelinmadenowayatall。ShetwistedaboutinthecarriolewithoutreplyingtoJosette\'squestions，andtalkedtoherselflikeapersonwhoismentallyrevolvingimportantdesigns。
ThecarrioleatlastarrivedinthemainstreetofAlencon，calledtherueSaint-BlaiseattheendtowardMontagne，butnearthehotelduMoreittakesthenameoftheruedelaPorte-de-Seez，andbecomestherueduBercailasitenterstheroadtoBrittany。IfthedepartureofMademoiselleCormonmadeagreatnoiseinAlencon，itiseasytoimaginetheuproarcausedbyhersuddenreturnonthefollowingday，inapouringrainwhichbeatherfacewithoutherapparentlymindingit。Penelopeatafullgallopwasobservedbyeveryone，andJacquelin\'sgrin，theearlyhour，theparcelsstuffedintothecarrioletopsy-turvy，andtheevidentimpatienceofMademoiselleCormonwereallnoted。
ThepropertyofthehouseofTroisvillelaybetweenAlenconandMortagne。Josetteknewthevariousbranchesofthefamily。AworddroppedbymademoiselleastheyenteredAlenconhadputJosetteonthescentoftheaffair；andadiscussionhavingstartedbetweenthem，itwassettledthattheexpecteddeTroisvillemustbebetweenfortyandforty-twoyearsofage，abachelor，andneitherrichnorpoor。
MademoiselleCormonbeheldherselfspeedilyVicomtessedeTroisville。
\"Andtothinkthatmyuncletoldmenothing!thinksofnothing!
inquiresnothing!That\'smyuncleallover。He\'dforgethisownnoseifitwasn\'tfastenedtohisface。\"
Haveyouneverremarkedthat，undercircumstancessuchasthese，oldmaidsbecome，likeRichardIII。，keen-witted，fierce，bold，promissory，——ifonemaysousetheword，——and，likeinebriateclerks，nolongerinaweofanything？
ImmediatelythetownofAlencon，speedilyinformedfromthefartherendoftheruedeSaint-BlaisetothegateofSeezofthisprecipitatereturn，accompaniedbysingularcircumstances，wasperturbedthroughoutitsviscera，bothpublicanddomestic。Cooks，shopkeepers，streetpassengers，toldthenewsfromdoortodoor；thenceitrosetotheupperregions。Soonthewords:\"MademoiselleCormonhasreturned!\"
burstlikeabombshellintoallhouseholds。AtthatmomentJacquelinwasdescendingfromhiswoodenseat(polishedbyaprocessunknowntocabinet-makers)，onwhichheperchedinfrontofthecarriole。Heopenedthegreatgreengate，roundatthetop，andclosedinsignofmourning；forduringMademoiselleCormon\'sabsencetheeveningassembliesdidnottakeplace。ThefaithfulinvitedtheAbbedeSpondetotheirseveralhouses；andMonsieurdeValoispaidhisdebtbyinvitinghimtodineattheMarquisd\'Esgrignon\'s。Jacquelin，havingopenedthegate，calledfamiliarlytoPenelope，whomhehadleftinthemiddleofthestreet。Thatanimal，accustomedtothisproceeding，turnedinofherself，andcircledroundthecourtyardinamannertoavoidinjuringtheflower-bed。Jacquelinthentookherbridle，andledthecarriagetotheportico。
\"Mariette!\"criedMademoiselleCormon。
\"Mademoiselle!\"exclaimedMariette，whowasoccupiedinclosingthegate。
\"Hasthegentlemanarrived？\"
\"No，mademoiselle。\"
\"Where\'smyuncle？\"
\"Heisatchurch，mademoiselle。\"
JacquelinandJosettewerebythistimeonthefirststepoftheportico，holdingouttheirhandstomanoeuvretheexitoftheirmistressfromthecarrioleasshepulledherselfupbythesidesofthevehicleandclungtothecurtains。Mademoisellethenthrewherselfintotheirarms；becauseforthelasttwoyearsshedarednotriskherweightontheironstep，affixedtotheframeofthecarriagebyahorriblemechanismofclumsybolts。
WhenMademoiselleCormonreachedtheleveloftheporticoshelookedabouthercourtyardwithanairofsatisfaction。
\"Come，come，Mariette，leavethatgatealone；Iwantyou。\"
\"There\'ssomethinginthewind，\"whisperedJacquelin，asMariettepassedthecarriole。
\"Mariette，whatprovisionshaveyouinthehouse？\"askedMademoiselleCormon，sittingdownonthebenchinthelongantechamberlikeapersonovercomewithfatigue。
\"Ihaven\'tanything，\"repliedMariette，withherhandsonherhips。
\"MademoiselleknowsverywellthatduringherabsenceMonsieurl\'abbedinesouteveryday。YesterdayIwenttofetchhimfromMademoiselleArmande\'s。\"
\"Whereishenow？\"
\"Monsieurl\'abbe？Why，atchurch；hewon\'tbeinbeforethreeo\'clock。\"
\"Hethinksofnothing!heoughttohavetoldyoutogotomarket。
Mariette，goatonce；andwithoutwastingmoney，don\'tspareit；getallthereisthatisgoodanddelicate。Gotothediligenceofficeandseeifyoucansendforpates；andIwantshrimpsfromtheBrillante。
Whato\'clockisit？\"
\"Aquartertonine。\"
\"Goodheavens!Mariette，don\'tstoptochatter。Thepersonmyuncleexpectsmayarriveatanymoment。Ifwehadtogivehimbreakfast，whereshouldwebewithnothinginthehouse？\"
MarietteturnedbacktoPenelopeinalather，andlookedatJacquelinasifshewouldsay，\"MademoisellehasputherhandonahusbandTHIS
time。\"
\"Now，Josette，\"continuedtheoldmaid，\"letusseewherewehadbetterputMonsieurdeTroisvilletosleep。\"
Withwhatjoyshesaidthewords，\"PutMonsieurdeTroisville\"
(pronouncedTreville)\"tosleep。\"Howmanyideasinthosefewwords!
Theoldmaidwasbathedinhope。
\"Willyouputhiminthegreenchamber？\"
\"Thebishop\'sroom？No；that\'stoonearmine，\"saidMademoiselleCormon。\"Allverywellformonseigneur；he\'sasaintlyman。\"
\"Givehimyouruncle\'sroom。\"
\"Oh，that\'ssobare；itisactuallyindecent。\"
\"Well，then，mademoiselle，whynotarrangeabedinyourboudoir？Itiseasilydone；andthere\'safire-place。Moreaucancertainlyfindinhiswareroomsabedtomatchthehangings。\"
\"Youareright，Josette。GoyourselftoMoreau；consultwithhimwhattodo；Iauthorizeyoutogetwhatiswanted。Ifthebedcouldbeputupto-nightwithoutMonsieurdeTroisvilleobservingit(incaseMonsieurdeTroisvillearriveswhileMoreauishere)，Ishouldlikeit。IfMoreauwon\'tengagetodothis，thenImustputMonsieurdeTroisvilleinthegreenroom，althoughMonsieurdeTroisvillewouldbesoveryneartome。\"
Josettewasdepartingwhenhermistressrecalledher。
\"Stop!explainthemattertoJacquelin，\"shecried，inaloudnervoustone。\"TellHIMtogotoMoreau；Imustbedressed!FancyifMonsieurdeTroisvillesurprisedmeasIamnow!andmyunclenotheretoreceivehim!Oh，uncle，uncle!Come，Josette；comeanddressmeatonce。\"
\"ButPenelope？\"saidJosette，imprudently。
\"AlwaysPenelope!Penelopethis，Penelopethat!IsPenelopethemistressofthishouse？\"
\"Butsheisallofalather，andshehasn\'thadtimetoeatheroats。\"
\"Thenletherstarve!\"criedMademoiselleCormon；\"providedImarry，\"
shethoughttoherself。
Hearingthesewords，whichseemedtoherlikehomicide，Josettestoodstillforamoment，speechless。Then，atagesturefromhermistress，sheranheadlongdownthestepsoftheportico。
\"Thedevilisinher，Jacquelin，\"werethefirstwordssheuttered。
ThusallthingsconspiredonthisfatefuldaytoproducethegreatsceniceffectwhichdecidedthefuturelifeofMademoiselleCormon。
Thetownwasalreadytopsy-turvyinmind，asaconsequenceofthefiveextraordinarycircumstanceswhichaccompaniedMademoiselleCormon\'sreturn；towit，thepouringrain；Penelopeatagallop，inalather，andblown；theearlyhour；theparcelshalf-packed；andthesingularairoftheexcitedoldmaid。ButwhenMariettemadeaninvasionofthemarket，andboughtallthebestthings；whenJacquelinwenttotheprincipalupholstererinAlencon，twodoorsfromthechurch，insearchofabed，——therewasmatterforthegravestconjectures。Theseextraordinaryeventswerediscussedonallsides；theyoccupiedthemindsofeveryone，evenMademoiselleArmandeherself，withwhomwasMonsieurdeValois。WithintwodaysthetownofAlenconhadbeenagitatedbysuchstartlingeventsthatcertaingoodwomenwereheardtoremarkthattheworldwascomingtoanend。Thislastnews，however，resolveditselfintoasinglequestion，\"WhatishappeningattheCormons？\"
TheAbbedeSponde，adroitlyquestionedwhenheleftSaint-Leonard\'stotakehisdailywalkwiththeAbbeCouturier，repliedwithhisusualkindlinessthatheexpectedtheVicomtedeTroisville，anoblemanintheserviceofRussiaduringtheEmigration，whowasreturningtoAlencontosettlethere。Fromtwotofiveo\'clockaspeciesoflabialtelegraphywentonthroughoutthetown；andalltheinhabitantslearnedthatMademoiselleCormonhadatlastfoundahusbandbyletter，andwasabouttomarrytheVicomtedeTroisville。Somesaid，\"Moreauhassoldthemabed。\"Thebedwassixfeetwideinthatquarter；itwasfourfeetwideatMadameGranson\'s，intherueduBercail；butitwasreducedtoasimplecouchatMonsieurduRonceret\'s，whereduBousquierwasdining。Thelesserbourgeoisiedeclaredthatthecostwaselevenhundredfrancs。Butgenerallyitwasthoughtthat，astothis，rumorwascountingthechickensbeforetheywerehatched。InotherquartersitwassaidthatMariettehadmadesucharaidonthemarketthatthepriceofcarphadrisen。AttheendoftherueSaint-Blaise，Penelopehaddroppeddead。Thisdeceasewasdoubtedinthehouseofthereceiver-general；butatthePrefectureitwasauthenticatedthatthepoorbeasthadexpiredassheturnedintothecourtyardofthehotelCormon，withsuchvelocityhadtheoldmaidflowntomeetherhusband。Theharness-maker，wholivedatthecorneroftheruedeSeez，wasboldenoughtocallatthehouseandaskifanythinghadhappenedtoMademoiselleCormon\'scarriage，inordertodiscoverwhetherPenelopewasreallydead。FromtheendoftherueSaint-BlaisetotheendoftherueduBercail，itwasthenmadeknownthat，thankstoJacquelin\'sdevotion，Penelope，thatsilentvictimofhermistress\'simpetuosity，stilllived，thoughsheseemedtobesuffering。
AlongtheroadtoBrittanytheVicomtedeTroisvillewasstatedtobeayoungersonwithoutapenny，fortheestatesinPerchebelongedtotheMarquisdeTroisville，peerofFrance，whohadchildren；themarriagewouldbe，therefore，anenormouspieceofluckforapooremigre。Thearistocracyalongthatroadapprovedofthemarriage；
MademoiselleCormoncouldnotdobetterwithhermoney。ButamongtheBourgeoisie，theVicomtedeTroisvillewasaRussiangeneralwhohadfoughtagainstFrance，andwasnowreturningwithagreatfortunemadeatthecourtofSaint-Petersburg；hewasaFOREIGNER；oneofthoseALLIESsohatedbytheliberals；theAbbedeSpondehadslylynegotiatedthismarriage。AllthepersonswhohadarighttocalluponMademoiselleCormondeterminedtodosothatveryevening。
Duringthistransurbanexcitement，whichmadethatofSuzannealmostaforgottenaffair，Mademoisellewasnotlessagitated；shewasfilledwithavarietyofnovelemotions。Lookingabouthersalon，dining-
room，andboudoir，cruelapprehensionstookpossessionofher。A
speciesofdemonshowedherwithasneerherold-fashionedluxury。Thehandsomethingsshehadadmiredfromheryouthupshesuddenlysuspectedofageandabsurdity。Inshort，shefeltthatfearwhichtakespossessionofnearlyallauthorswhentheyreadoveraworktheyhavehithertothoughtproofagainsteveryexactingorblasecritic: