Averyworthyperson,atrueloverofhiscountry,andwhosevirtuesIhighlyesteem,waslatelypleased,indiscoursingonthismatter,toofferarefinementuponmyscheme。Hesaid,thatmanygentlemenofthiskingdom,havingoflatedestroyedtheirdeer,heconceivedthatthewantofvenisonmightbewellsupply\'dbythebodiesofyoungladsandmaidens,notexceedingfourteenyearsofage,norundertwelve;sogreatanumberofbothsexesineverycountrybeingnowreadytostarveforwantofworkandservice:Andthesetobedisposedofbytheirparentsifalive,orotherwisebytheirnearestrelations。Butwithduedeferencetosoexcellentafriend,andsodeservingapatriot,I
cannotbealtogetherinhissentiments;forastothemales,myAmericanacquaintanceassuredmefromfrequentexperience,thattheirfleshwasgenerallytoughandlean,likethatofourschool-boys,bycontinualexercise,andtheirtastedisagreeable,andtofattenthemwouldnotanswerthecharge。Thenastothefemales,itwould,Ithink,withhumblesubmission,bealosstothepublick,becausetheysoonwouldbecomebreedersthemselves:
Andbesides,itisnotimprobablethatsomescrupulouspeoplemightbeapttocensuresuchapractice,(althoughindeedveryunjustly)asalittleborderinguponcruelty,which,Iconfess,hathalwaysbeenwithmethestrongestobjectionagainstanyproject,howwellsoeverintended。
Butinordertojustifymyfriend,heconfessed,thatthisexpedientwasputintohisheadbythefamousSalmanaazor,anativeoftheislandFormosa,whocamefromthencetoLondon,abovetwentyyearsago,andinconversationtoldmyfriend,thatinhiscountry,whenanyyoungpersonhappenedtobeputtodeath,theexecutionersoldthecarcasstopersonsofquality,asaprimedainty;andthat,inhistime,thebodyofaplumpgirloffifteen,whowascrucifiedforanattempttopoisontheEmperor,wassoldtohisimperialmajesty\'sprimeministerofstate,andothergreatmandarinsofthecourtinjointsfromthegibbet,atfourhundredcrowns。NeitherindeedcanIdeny,thatifthesameuseweremadeofseveralplumpyounggirlsinthistown,whowithoutonesinglegroattotheirfortunes,cannotstirabroadwithoutachair,andappearataplay-houseandassembliesinforeignfinerieswhichtheyneverwillpayfor;thekingdomwouldnotbetheworse。
Somepersonsofadespondingspiritareingreatconcernaboutthatvastnumberofpoorpeople,whoareaged,diseased,ormaimed;andIhavebeendesiredtoemploymythoughtswhatcoursemaybetaken,toeasethenationofsogrievousanincumbrance。
ButIamnotintheleastpainuponthatmatter,becauseitisverywellknown,thattheyareeverydaydying,androtting,bycoldandfamine,andfilth,andvermin,asfastascanbereasonablyexpected。Andastotheyounglabourers,theyarenowinalmostashopefulacondition。Theycannotgetwork,andconsequentlypineawayfromwantofnourishment,toadegree,thatifatanytimetheyareaccidentallyhiredtocommonlabour,theyhavenotstrengthtoperformit,andthusthecountryandthemselvesarehappilydeliveredfromtheevilstocome。
Ihavetoolongdigressed,andthereforeshallreturntomysubject。IthinktheadvantagesbytheproposalwhichIhavemadeareobviousandmany,aswellasofthehighestimportance。
Forfirst,asIhavealreadyobserved,itwouldgreatlylessenthenumberofPapists,withwhomweareyearlyover-run,beingtheprincipalbreedersofthenation,aswellasourmostdangerousenemies,andwhostayathomeonpurposewithadesigntodeliverthekingdomtothePretender,hopingtotaketheiradvantagebytheabsenceofsomanygoodProtestants,whohavechosenrathertoleavetheircountry,thanstayathomeandpaytithesagainsttheirconsciencetoanepiscopalcurate。
Secondly,Thepoorertenantswillhavesomethingvaluableoftheirown,whichbylawmaybemadeliabletoadistress,andhelptopaytheirlandlord\'srent,theircornandcattlebeingalreadyseized,andmoneyathingunknown。
Thirdly,Whereasthemaintainanceofanhundredthousandchildren,fromtwoyearsold,andupwards,cannotbecomputedatlessthantenshillingsapieceperannum,thenation\'sstockwillbetherebyencreasedfiftythousandpoundsperannum,besidestheprofitofanewdish,introducedtothetablesofallgentlemenoffortuneinthekingdom,whohaveanyrefinementintaste。Andthemoneywillcirculateamongourselves,thegoodsbeingentirelyofourowngrowthandmanufacture。
Fourthly,Theconstantbreeders,besidesthegainofeightshillingssterlingperannumbythesaleoftheirchildren,willberidofthechargeofmaintainingthemafterthefirstyear。
Fifthly,Thisfoodwouldlikewisebringgreatcustomtotaverns,wherethevintnerswillcertainlybesoprudentastoprocurethebestreceiptsfordressingittoperfection;andconsequentlyhavetheirhousesfrequentedbyallthefinegentlemen,whojustlyvaluethemselvesupontheirknowledgeingoodeating;andaskilfulcook,whounderstandshowtoobligehisguests,willcontrivetomakeitasexpensiveastheyplease。
Sixthly,Thiswouldbeagreatinducementtomarriage,whichallwisenationshaveeitherencouragedbyrewards,orenforcedbylawsandpenalties。Itwouldencreasethecareandtendernessofmotherstowardstheirchildren,whentheyweresureofasettlementforlifetothepoorbabes,providedinsomesortbythepublick,totheirannualprofitinsteadofexpence。Weshouldsoonseeanhonestemulationamongthemarriedwomen,whichofthemcouldbringthefattestchildtothemarket。Menwouldbecomeasfondoftheirwives,duringthetimeoftheirpregnancy,astheyarenowoftheirmaresinfoal,theircowsincalf,orsowwhentheyarereadytofarrow;noroffertobeatorkickthem(asistoofrequentapractice)forfearofamiscarriage。
Manyotheradvantagesmightbeenumerated。Forinstance,theadditionofsomethousandcarcassesinourexportationofbarrel\'dbeef:thepropagationofswine\'sflesh,andimprovementintheartofmakinggoodbacon,somuchwantedamongusbythegreatdestructionofpigs,toofrequentatourtables;whicharenowaycomparableintasteormagnificencetoawellgrown,fatyearlychild,whichroastedwholewillmakeaconsiderablefigureataLordMayor\'sfeast,oranyotherpublickentertainment。Butthis,andmanyothers,Iomit,beingstudiousofbrevity。
Supposingthatonethousandfamiliesinthiscity,wouldbeconstantcustomersforinfantsflesh,besidesotherswhomighthaveitatmerrymeetings,particularlyatweddingsandchristenings,IcomputethatDublinwouldtakeoffannuallyabouttwentythousandcarcasses;andtherestofthekingdom(whereprobablytheywillbesoldsomewhatcheaper)theremainingeightythousand。
Icanthinkofnooneobjection,thatwillpossiblyberaisedagainstthisproposal,unlessitshouldbeurged,thatthenumberofpeoplewillbetherebymuchlessenedinthekingdom。ThisI
freelyown,and\'twasindeedoneprincipaldesigninofferingittotheworld。Idesirethereaderwillobserve,thatIcalculatemyremedyforthisoneindividualKingdomofIreland,andfornootherthateverwas,is,or,Ithink,evercanbeuponEarth。
Thereforeletnomantalktomeofotherexpedients:Oftaxingourabsenteesatfiveshillingsapound:Ofusingneithercloaths,norhousholdfurniture,exceptwhatisofourowngrowthandmanufacture:Ofutterlyrejectingthematerialsandinstrumentsthatpromoteforeignluxury:Ofcuringtheexpensivenessofpride,vanity,idleness,andgaminginourwomen:Ofintroducingaveinofparsimony,prudenceandtemperance:Oflearningtoloveourcountry,whereinwedifferevenfromLaplanders,andtheinhabitantsofTopinamboo:Ofquittingouranimositiesandfactions,noractinganylongerliketheJews,whoweremurderingoneanotherattheverymomenttheircitywastaken:Ofbeingalittlecautiousnottosellourcountryandconsciencesfornothing:Ofteachinglandlordstohaveatleastonedegreeofmercytowardstheirtenants。Lastly,ofputtingaspiritofhonesty,industry,andskillintoourshop-keepers,who,ifaresolutioncouldnowbetakentobuyonlyournativegoods,wouldimmediatelyunitetocheatandexactuponusintheprice,themeasure,andthegoodness,norcouldeveryetbebroughttomakeonefairproposalofjustdealing,thoughoftenandearnestlyinvitedtoit。
ThereforeIrepeat,letnomantalktomeoftheseandthelikeexpedients,\'tillhehathatleastsomeglympseofhope,thattherewilleverbesomeheartyandsincereattempttoputthemintopractice。
But,astomyself,havingbeenweariedoutformanyyearswithofferingvain,idle,visionarythoughts,andatlengthutterlydespairingofsuccess,Ifortunatelyfelluponthisproposal,which,asitiswhollynew,soithathsomethingsolidandreal,ofnoexpenceandlittletrouble,fullinourownpower,andwherebywecanincurnodangerindisobligingEngland。Forthiskindofcommoditywillnotbearexportation,andfleshbeingoftootenderaconsistence,toadmitalongcontinuanceinsalt,althoughperhapsIcouldnameacountry,whichwouldbegladtoeatupourwholenationwithoutit。
Afterall,Iamnotsoviolentlybentuponmyownopinion,astorejectanyoffer,proposedbywisemen,whichshallbefoundequallyinnocent,cheap,easy,andeffectual。Butbeforesomethingofthatkindshallbeadvancedincontradictiontomyscheme,andofferingabetter,Idesiretheauthororauthorswillbepleasedmaturelytoconsidertwopoints。First,Asthingsnowstand,howtheywillbeabletofindfoodandraimentforahundredthousanduselessmouthsandbacks。Andsecondly,Therebeingaroundmillionofcreaturesinhumanefigurethroughoutthiskingdom,whosewholesubsistenceputintoacommonstock,wouldleavethemindebttwomillionofpoundssterling,addingthosewhoarebeggarsbyprofession,tothebulkoffarmers,cottagersandlabourers,withtheirwivesandchildren,whoarebeggarsineffect;Idesirethosepoliticianswhodislikemyoverture,andmayperhapsbesoboldtoattemptananswer,thattheywillfirstasktheparentsofthesemortals,whethertheywouldnotatthisdaythinkitagreathappinesstohavebeensoldforfoodatayearold,inthemannerIprescribe,andtherebyhaveavoidedsuchaperpetualsceneofmisfortunes,astheyhavesincegonethrough,bytheoppressionoflandlords,theimpossibilityofpayingrentwithoutmoneyortrade,thewantofcommonsustenance,withneitherhousenorcloathstocoverthemfromtheinclemenciesoftheweather,andthemostinevitableprospectofintailingthelike,orgreatermiseries,upontheirbreedforever。
Iprofess,inthesincerityofmyheart,thatIhavenottheleastpersonalinterestinendeavouringtopromotethisnecessarywork,havingnoothermotivethanthepublickgoodofmycountry,byadvancingourtrade,providingforinfants,relievingthepoor,andgivingsomepleasuretotherich。Ihavenochildren,bywhichIcanproposetogetasinglepenny;theyoungestbeingnineyearsold,andmywifepastchild-bearing。