第3章

Flanneryspentadayherdinghischargesthroughanarrowopeningintheircagesothathemightcountthem。

\"AuditDept。\"hewrote,whenhehadfinishedthecount,\"youarewayofftheremaybewasonehundredandsixtydagopigsonce,butwakeupdon\'tbeabacknumber。I\'vegoteveneighthundred,nowshallIcollectforeighthundredorwhat,howaboutsixty-fourdollarsIpaidoutforcabbages。\"

ItrequiredagreatmanylettersbackandforthbeforetheAuditDepartmentwasabletounderstandwhytheerrorhadbeenmadeofbillingonehundredandsixtyinsteadofeighthundred,andstillmoretimeforittogetthemeaningofthe\"cabbages。\"

Flannerywascrowdedintoafewfeetattheextremefrontoftheoffice。

Thepigshadalltherestoftheroomandtwoboyswereemployedconstantlyattendingtothem。ThedayafterFlanneryhadcountedtheguinea-pigstherewereeightmoreaddedtohisdrove,andbythetimetheAuditDepartmentgavehimauthoritytocollectforeighthundredFlanneryhadgivenupallattemptstoattendtothereceiptorthedeliveryofgoods。Hewashastilybuildinggalleriesaroundtheexpressoffice,tierabovetier。Hehadfourthousandandsixty-fourguinea-pigstocarefor!

Morewerearrivingdaily。

ImmediatelyfollowingitsauthorizationtheAuditDepartmentsentanotherletter,butFlannerywastoobusytoopenit。Theywroteanotherandthentheytelegraphed:

\"Erroringuinea-pigbill。Collectfortwoguinea-pigs,fiftycents。

Deliveralltoconsignee。\"

Flanneryreadthetelegramandcheeredup。HewroteoutabillasrapidlyashispencilcouldtraveloverpaperandranallthewaytotheMorehousehome。Atthegatehestoppedsuddenly。Thehousestaredathimwithvacanteyes。Thewindowswerebareofcurtainsandhecouldseeintotheemptyrooms。Asignontheporchsaid,\"ToLet。\"Mr。Morehousehadmoved!

Flanneryranallthewaybacktotheexpressoffice。Sixty-nineguinea-pigshadbeenbornduringhisabsence。Heranoutagainandmadefeverishinquiriesinthevillage。Mr。Morehousehadnotonlymoved,buthehadleftWestcote。Flanneryreturnedtotheexpressofficeandfoundthattwohundredandsixguinea-pigshadenteredtheworldsinceheleftit。HewroteatelegramtotheAuditDepartment。

\"Can\'tcollectfiftycentsfortwodagopigsconsigneehaslefttownaddressunknownwhatshallIdo?Flannery。\"

ThetelegramwashandedtooneoftheclerksintheAuditDepartment,andashereadithelaughed。

\"Flannerymustbecrazy。Heoughttoknowthatthethingtodoistoreturntheconsignmenthere,\"saidtheclerk。HetelegraphedFlannerytosendthepigstothemainofficeofthecompanyatFranklin。

WhenFlanneryreceivedthetelegramhesettowork。Thesixboysbehadengagedtohelphimalsosettowork。Theyworkedwiththehasteofdesperatemen,makingcagesoutofsoapboxes,crackerboxes,andallkindsofboxes,andasfastasthecageswerecompletedtheyfilledthemwithguinea-pigsandexpressedthemtoFranklin。DayafterdaythecagesofguineapigsflowedinasteadystreamfromWestcotetoFranklin,andstillFlanneryandhissixhelpersrippedandnailedandpacked——relentlesslyandfeverishly。Attheendoftheweektheyhadshippedtwohundredandeightycasesofguinea-pigs,andtherewereintheexpressofficesevenhundredandfourmorepigsthanwhentheybeganpackingthem。

\"Stopsendingpigs。Warehousefull,\"cameatelegramtoFlannery。Hestoppedpackingonlylongenoughtowireback,\"Can\'tstop,\"andkeptonsendingthem。OnthenexttrainupfromFranklincameoneofthecompany\'sinspectors。Hehadinstructionstostopthestreamofguinea-pigsatallhazards。AshistraindrewupatWestcotestationhesawacattlecarstandingontheexpresscompany\'ssiding。Whenhereachedtheexpressofficehesawtheexpresswagonbackeduptothedoor。Sixboyswerecarryingbushelbasketsfullofguinea-pigsfromtheofficeanddumpingthemintothewagon。InsidetheroomFlannery,with\'hiscoatandvestoff,wasshovelingguinea-pigsintobushelbasketswithacoalscoop。Hewaswindinguptheguinea-pigepisode。

Helookedupattheinspectorwithasnortofanger。

\"Wanwagonloadmorean,I\'llbequitofthim,an\'niverwillyecatchFlannerywidnomoreforeignpigsonhishands。No,sur!Theynearwasthedeatho\'me。NixttoimeI\'llknowthatpigsofwhaivernationalityisdomisticpets——an\'goatthelowestrate。\"

Hebeganshovelingagainrapidly,speakingquicklybetweenbreaths。

\"Rulesmayberules,butyoucan\'tfoolMikeFlannerytwicewidthesamethrick——whinutcomestolivestock,dangtherules。SolongasFlanneryrunsthisexprissoffice——pigsispets——an\'cowsispets——an\'horsesispets——an\'lionsan\'tigersan\'RockyMountaingoatsispets——an\'therateonthimistwinty-foivecints。\"

Hepausedlongenoughtoletoneoftheboysputanemptybasketintheplaceoftheonehehadjustfilled。Therewereonlyafewguinea-pigsleft。Ashenotedtheirlimitednumberhisnaturalhabitoflookingonthebrightsidereturned。

\"Well,annyhow,\"hesaidcheerfully,\"\'tisnotsobadasutmightbe。

Whatifthimdagopigshadbeenelephants!\"