第3章

Iknowthatyouaresincereinthinkingso。AndtheringingwelkinisallweshouldhaveheardinMichigan。Butthemoretrulyamanlovesagirl,thelesscanhebeartakingherfromaneasytoahardlife。Iamsurethatallthemenhereagreewithme。\"

Therewasamurmurandanodfromthemen,andalsofromMrs。Davenport。

ButtheotherladiesgavenosignofassentingtoRichard\'sproposition。

\"Inthosedays,\"saidhe,\"Iwaswhatinthecurtparlanceofthestreetistermedasix-hundred-dollarclerk。Andthoughmyearshadgrownaccustomedtothisappellation,Inevercametofeelthatitcompletelydescribedme。InpassingTiffany\'swindowtwiceeachday(formyhabitwastowalktoandfromNassauStreet)Irememberthatseeingathousand-dollarclockexposedforsalecausedmeannoyance。Ofcoursemysalaryasaclerkbroughtmeintonounfavourablecomparisonwiththeclock;andIdoubtifIcouldmakeyouunderstandmysometimesfeelingwhenIpassedTiffany\'swindowthatIshouldliketosmashtheclock。\"

\"ImetEthelfrequentlyinsociety,dancingwithher,andsittingnextheratdinners。AndbythetimeIhaddinedatherownhouse,andwalkedseveralafternoonswithher,mylotasasix-hundred-dollarclerkbegantoseemverysadtome。Iwroteversesaboutit,andaboutothersubjectsalso。FromaneveningpassedwithEthel,Iwouldgonextmorningtotheofficeandlookattheotherclerks。Oneofthemwasfifty-five,andhestillreceivedsixhundreddollarshiswagesforthelastthirtyyears。I

wasthentwenty-one;andthoughIneverdespairedtotheextentofbelievingthatyearswouldfailtoincreasemyvaluetothefirmbyasinglecent,still,forwhatcouldIhope?Ifmysalarywerethereandthentobedoubled,whatkindofsupportwastwelvehundreddollarstoofferEthel,withherdresses,andherdinners,andherfather\'scarriage?FortwoyearsIwaswretchedlyunhappybeneaththemanyhoursofgaietythatcametome,astoeveryyoungman。\"

\"ThosetwoyearswecouldhavebeeninMichigan,\"saidEthel,\"hadyouunderstood。\"

\"Iknow。Butunderstanding,IbelievethatIshoulddothesameagain。Attheoffice,whennotbusy,Iwrotemorepoetry,andbeganalsotowriteprose,whichIfoundattheoutsetlesseasy。Whenmyfirstwritingswereaccepted(theywerefoursetsofversesupontheSummerResort)IfeltthatIcouldsoonaddressEthel;forIhadmadetendollarsoutsidemysalary。HadshenotbeeninEuropethatJuly,IbelievethatIshouldhavespokentoheratonce。ButIsentherthepaper;andIhavetheletterthatshewroteinreply。\"

\"I\"beganEthel。Butshestopped。

\"Yes,Iknownowthatyoukepttheverses,\"saidRichard。\"Mynextmanuscript,however,wasrejected。Indeed,IwentonofferingmyliteraryproductionsnearlyeveryweekuntilthefollowingJanuarybeforeasecondacceptancecame。Itwastwentyfivedollarsthistime,andalmostmademefeelagainthatIcouldhandsomelysupportEthel。Butnotquite。Afterthefirstcharmingelationatearningmoneywithmypen,thoseweeksofrefusalhadcausedmetothinkmoresoberly。AndthoughIwasnowbentuponbecominganauthorandleavingNassauStreet,Iburnednobridgesbehindme,butmerelyfilledmysparehourswithwritingandwithshowingittoEthel。\"

\"Itwasnowthatthesecondareaofperturbationofmylifecametome。I

saythesecond,becausethefirsthadbeentherecentdawningbeliefthatEthelthoughtaboutmewhenIwasnottheretoremindherofmyself。Thisideahadstirredbutyouwillunderstand。Andnow,whatwasmyproper,myhonourablecourse?ItwasapositivereliefthatatthiscrisisshewenttoFlorida。Icouldthinkmorequietly。Mywritinghadcometobequiteoftenaccepted,sometimesevensolicited。ShouldIspeaktoher,andaskhertowaituntilIcouldputadecentroofoverherhead,orshouldIkeepawayfromheruntilIcouldoffersucharoof?Herfather,Isupposed,coulddosomethingforus。ButIwasnotwillingtobeapensioner。Hisbusinesswerehegenerouswouldbetoprovidecakeandbutter;butthebreadwastobemineandbreadwasstillalongwayoff,accordingtoNewYorkstandards。ThesethingsIthoughtoverwhileshewasinFlorida;yetwhenonceIshouldIfindmyselfwithheragain,I

begantofearthatIcouldnotholdmyselffrombutthesearecircumstanceswhichuniversalknowledgerendersitneedlesstomention,andIwillpasstothesecondperturbation。\"

\"Asumofmoneywassuddenlyleftme。ThenforthefirsttimeIunderstoodwhyIhadduringmyboyhoodbeensoperiodicallysenttoseeacrossoldbrotherofmymother\'s,wholivednearColdSpringontheHudson,andwhomwecalledUncleSnaggletoothwhennoonecouldhearus。UncleGodfrey(forIhavecalledhimbyhisrightnameeversince)diedandleftmewhatinthoseolddayssixyearsagowasstillalargeamount。To-dayweunderstandwhattruerichesmean。Butinthosebygonetimessixyearsago,amilliondollarswasasumconsiderableenoughtobestillseen,asitwere,withthenakedeye。ThatwasmybequestfromUncleGodfrey,andIfeltmyselftobethepossessorofafortune。\"

AtthispointinRichard\'snarrative,asighescapedfromEthel。

\"Iknow,\"heimmediatelysaid,\"thatmoneyisalwayswelcome。Butitiscertainlysomeconsolationtoreflecthowslightalossamilliondollarsiscountedto-dayinNewYork。AndIdidnotloseallofit。\"

\"ImetEthelatthetrainonherreturnfromFlorida,andcrossedwithherontheferryfromJerseyCitytoDesbrossesStreet。ThereIwasobligedtoseeherdriveawayinthecarriagewithherfather。\"

\"Mr。Field,\"saidMrs。Davenport,\"whathourdidthattrainarriveatJerseyCity?\"

Richardlookedsurprised。\"Why,seven-fifteenP。M。,\"hereplied。\"ThetenthofMarch。\"

\"Dark!\"Mrs。Davenportexclaimed。\"Mr。Field,youandEthelwereengagedbeforetheferryboatlandedatDesbrossesStreet。\"

RichardandEthelbothsatstraightup,butremainedspeechless。

\"Pardonmyinterruption,\"saidMrs。Davenport,smiling。\"Ididn\'twanttomissasinglepointinthisstorydogoon!\"

Richardwasobligedtoburstoutlaughing,inwhichEthel,afteramoment,followedhim,thoughperhapslessheartily。Andashecontinued,hisblushsubsided。

\"WithmyUncleGodfrey\'slegacyIwasnolongerdependentuponmysalary,ormypen,ormyfather\'spurse;andIdecidedthatwiththemoneyproperlyinvested,Icouldmaintainamodestestablishmentofmyown。

Ethelagreedwithmeentirely;and,afteralittle,wedisclosedourplanstoourfamilies,andtheymetwithapproval。ThiswasinApril,andwethoughtofOctoberorNovemberforthewedding。Itseemedlongtowait;butitcamenearbeingsomuchlonger,thatIgrowchillynowtothinkofit。\"

\"Ofcourse,IwentsteadilyonwithmyworkattheofficeinNassauStreet,nordidIneglectmywritingentirely。Myattention,however,wasnowturnedtothequestionofinvestingmyfortune。JustroundthecornerfromourofficewasthefirmofBlakeandBeverly,StocksandBonds。

Thithermystepsbeganfrequentlytoturn。Mr。Beverlyhadbusinesswhichbroughthimeveryweektotheroomofourpresident;andsohavingasortofacquaintancewithhim,Ifeltiteasiertoconsulthimthantoseekanyotheramongthebrokers,towhichclassIwasawellnightotalstranger。Heverykindlyconsentedtobemyadviser。IwaswellpleasedtofindhowmuchIhadunderratedtheinterest-bearingcapacityofmywindfall。\'Fourpercent!\'hecried,whenItoldhimthiswastheextentofmyexpectations。\'Why,you\'retalkinglikeatrustee。\'Andthenseeingthathismeaningwasbeyondme,heexplainedinhisbluff,humorousmanner。\'Allatrusteecaresforyouknow,ishisreputationforsafety。