第7章

Theeconomistsandcalculatorsmighthereinterposewithagreatdealofreason;for,indeed,therewasnoreasonwhyanationshouldimpoverishitselftodohonortothememoryofanindividualforwhom,afterall,itcanfeelbutaqualifiedenthusiasm:butitsurelymighthaveemployedthelargesumvotedforthepurposemorewiselyandgenerously,andrecordeditsrespectforNapoleonbysomeworthyandlastingmemorial,ratherthanhaveerectedyonderthousandvainheapsoftinsel,paint,andplaster,thatarealreadycrackingandcrumblinginthefrost,atthreedaysold。

Scarcelyoneofthestatues,indeed,deservestolastamonth:someareodiousdistortionsandcaricatures,whichnevershouldhavebeenallowedtostandforamoment。Ontheverydayofthefete,thewindwasshakingthecanvaspedestals,andtheflimsywood—workhadbeguntogapeandgiveway。Atalittledistance,tobesure,youcouldnotseethecracks;andpedestalsandstatuesLOOKEDlikemarble。Atsomedistance,youcouldnottellbutthatthewreathsandeaglesweregoldembroidery,andnotgiltpaper——thegreattricolorflagsdamask,andnotstripedcalico。Onewouldthinkthattheseshamsplendorsbetokenedshamrespect,ifonehadnotknownthatthenameofNapoleonisheldinrealreverence,andobservedsomewhatofthecharacterofthenation。Realfeelingstheyhave,buttheydistortthembyexaggeration;realcourage,whichtheyrenderludicrousbyintolerablebraggadocio;andIthinktheaboveofficialaccountofthePrincedeJoinville\'sproceedings,ofthemannerinwhichtheEmperor\'sremainshavebeentreatedintheirvoyagetothecapital,andofthepreparationsmadetoreceivehiminit,willgivemydearMissSmithsomemeansofunderstandingthesocialandmoralconditionofthisworthypeopleofFrance。

III。

ONTHEFUNERALCEREMONY。

ShallItellyou,mydear,thatwhenFrancoiswokemeataveryearlyhouronthiseventfulmorning,whilethekeenstarswerestillglitteringoverhead,ahalf—moon,assharpasarazor,beaminginthefrostysky,andawickednorthwindblowing,thatblewthebloodoutofone\'sfingersandfrozeyourlegasyouputitoutofbed;——

shallItellyou,mydear,thatwhenFrancoiscalledme,andsaid,\"V\'lavot\'cafe,MonsieurTitemasse,buvez—le,tiens,ilesttoutchaud,\"Ifeltmyself,afterimbibingthehotbreakfast,socomfortableunderthreeblanketsandamackintosh,thatforatleastaquarterofanhournomaninEuropecouldsaywhetherTitmarshwouldorwouldnotbepresentattheburialoftheEmperorNapoleon。

Besides,mydear,thecold,therewasanotherreasonfordoubting。

DidtheFrenchnation,ordidtheynot,intendtoofferupsomeofusEnglishovertheimperialgrave?Andwerethegamestobeconcludedbyamassacre?ItwassaidinthenewspapersthatLordGranvillehaddespatchedcircularstoalltheEnglishresidentinParis,beggingthemtokeeptheirhomes。TheFrenchjournalsannouncedthisnews,andwarneduscharitablyofthefateintendedforus。HadLordGranvillewritten?Certainlynottome。OrhadhewrittentoallEXCEPTME?AndwasITHEVICTIM——thedoomedone?——

tobeseizeddirectlyIshowedmyfaceintheChampsElysees,andtorninpiecesbyFrenchPatriotismtothefranticchorusofthe\"Marseillaise?\"Dependonit,Madam,thathighandlowinthiscityonTuesdaywerenotaltogetherattheirease,andthatthebravestfeltnosmalltremor!Andbesureofthis,thatashisMajestyLouisPhilippetookhisnightcapoffhisroyalheadthatmorning,heprayedheartilythathemight,atnight,putitoninsafety。

Well,asmycompanionandIcameoutofdoors,beingboundfortheChurchoftheInvalides,forwhichaDeputyhadkindlyfurnisheduswithtickets,wesawtheveryprettiestsightofthewholeday,andIcan\'trefrainfrommentioningittomydear,tender—heartedMissSmith。

InthesamehousewhereIlive(butaboutfivestoriesnearertheground)lodgesanEnglishfamily,consistingof——1。Agreat—

grandmother,ahale,handsomeoldladyofseventy,theverybest—

dressedandneatestoldladyinParis。2。Agrandfatherandgrandmother,tolerablyyoungtobearthattitle。3。Adaughter。

And4。Twolittlegreat—grand,orgrandchildren,thatmaybeoftheageofthreeandone,andbelongtoasonanddaughterwhoareinIndia。Thegrandfather,whoisasproudofhiswifeashewasthirtyyearsagowhenhemarried,andpayshercomplimentsstilltwiceorthriceinaday,andwhenheleadsherintoaroomlooksroundatthepersonsassembled,andsaysinhisheart,\"Here,gentlemen,hereismywife——showmesuchanotherwomaninEngland,\"——

thisgentlemanhadhiredaroomontheChampsElysees,forhewouldnothavehiswifecatchcoldbyexposinghertothebalconiesintheopenair。

WhenIcametothestreet,Ifoundthefamilyassembledinthefollowingorderofmarch:——

——No。1,thegreat—grandmotherwalkingdaintilyalong,supportedbyNo。3,hergranddaughter。

——AnursecarryingNo。4junior,whowassoundasleep:andahugebasketcontainingsaucepans,bottlesofmilk,parcelsofinfants\'

food,certaindimitynapkins,achild\'scoral,andalittlehorsebelongingtoNo。4senior。

——Aservantbearingabasketofcondiments。

——No。2,grandfather,spickandspan,cleanshaved,hatbrushed,whitebuckskingloves,bamboocane,browngreat—coat,walkingasuprightandsolemnasmaybe,havinghisladyonhisarm。

——No。4,senior,withmottledlegsandatartancostume,whowasfriskingaboutbetweenhisgrandpapa\'slegs,whoheartilywishedhimathome。

\"Mydear,\"hisfaceseemedtosaytohislady,\"Ithinkyoumighthaveleftthelittlethingsinthenursery,forweshallhavetosqueezethroughaterriblecrowdintheChampsElysees。\"

Theladywasgoingoutforaday\'spleasure,andherfacewasfullofcare:shehadtolookfirstafterheroldmotherwhowaswalkingahead,thenafterNo。4juniorwiththenurse——hemightfallintoallsortsofdanger,wakeup,cry,catchcold;nursemightslipdown,orheavenknowswhat。Thenshehadtolookherhusbandintheface,whohadgonetosuchexpenseandbeensokindforhersake,andmakethatgentlemanbelieveshewasthoroughlyhappy;and,finally,shehadtokeepaneyeuponNo。4senior,who,asshewasperfectlycertain,wasaboutintwominutestobelostforever,ortrampledtopiecesinthecrowd。

TheseeventstookplaceinaquietlittlestreetleadingintotheChampsElysees,theentryofwhichwehadalmostreachedbythistime。Thefourdetachmentsabovedescribed,whichhadbeenstragglingalittleintheirpassagedownthestreet,closedupattheendofit,andstoodforamomenthuddledtogether。No。3,MissX——,beganspeakingtohercompanionthegreat—grandmother。

\"Hush,mydear,\"saidthatoldlady,lookingroundalarmedatherdaughter。\"SPEAKFRENCH。\"Andshestraightwaybegannervouslytomakeaspeechwhichshesupposedtobeinthatlanguage,butwhichwasasmuchlikeFrenchasIroquois。Thewholesecretwasout:youcouldreaditinthegrandmother\'sface,whowasdoingallshecouldtokeepfromcrying,andlookedasfrightenedasshedaredtolook。

ThetwoelderladieshadsettledbetweenthemthattherewasgoingtobeageneralEnglishslaughterthatday,andhadbroughtthechildrenwiththem,sothattheymightallbemurderedincompany。

Godblessyou,Owomen,moist—eyedandtender—hearted!Inthosegentlesillytearsofyoursthereissomethingtouchesone,betheyneversofoolish。Idon\'tthinkthereweremanysuchnaturaldropsshedthatdayasthosewhichjustmadetheirappearanceinthegrandmother\'seyes,andthenwentbackagainasiftheyhadbeenashamedofthemselves,whilethegoodladyandherlittletroopwalkedacrosstheroad。Thinkhowhappyshewillbewhennightcomes,andtherehasbeennomurderofEnglish,andthebroodisallnestledunderherwingssoundasleep,andsheislyingawakethankingGodthatthedayanditspleasuresandpainsareover。

Whilstwewereconsideringthesethings,thegrandfatherhadsuddenlyelevatedNo。4senioruponhisleftshoulder,andIsawthetartanhatofthatyounggentleman,andthebamboocanewhichhadbeentransferredtohim,highovertheheadsofthecrowdontheoppositesidethroughwhichthepartymoved。

Afterthislittleprocessionhadpassedaway——youmaylaughatit,butuponmywordandconscience,MissSmith,Isawnothinginthecourseofthedaywhichaffectedmemore——afterthislittleprocessionhadpassedaway,theothercame,accompaniedbygun—