Attheendofthehalfhourwediscussedtheadvisabilityof\"chancingit，\"butdecidednotto。\"Weshouldnever，\"Georgesaid，\"confoundfoolhardinesswithcourage。\"
\"Courage，\"hecontinued——Georgehadquiteagiftformaxims——\"courageisthewisdomofmanhood;foolhardiness，thefollyofyouth。\"
Hesaidthattogetdownfromthetablewhilethatdogremainedintheroom，wouldclearlyproveustobepossessedofthelatterquality;sowerestrainedourselves，andsaton。
Wesatonforoveranhour，bywhichtime，havingbothgrowncarelessoflifeandindifferenttothevoiceofWisdom，wedid\"chanceit;\"
andthrowingthetable—clothoverourwould—bemurderer，chargedforthedoorandgotout。
Thenextmorningwecomplainedtoourlandladyofhercarelessnessinleavingwildbeastsabouttheplace，andwegaveherabriefifnotexactlytruthful，historyofthebusiness。
Insteadofthetenderwomanlysympathywehadexpected，theoldladysatdownintheeasychairandburstoutlaughing。
\"What！oldBoozer，\"sheexclaimed，\"youwasafraidofoldBoozer！
Why，blessyou，hewouldn’thurtaworm！Heain’tgotatoothinhishead，heain’t;wehastofeedhimwithaspoon;andI’msurethewaythecatchivieshimaboutmustbeenoughtomakehislifeaburdentohim。Iexpecthewantedyoutonursehim;he’susedtobeingnursed。\"
Andthatwasthebrutethathadkeptussittingonatable，withourbootsoff，foroveranhouronachillynight！
Anotherbull—dogexhibitionthatoccurstomewasonegivenbymyuncle。Hehadhadabulldog——ayoungone——giventohimbyafriend。
Itwasagranddog，sohisfriendhadtoldhim;allitwantedwastraining——ithadnotbeenproperlytrained。Myuncledidnotprofesstoknowmuchaboutthetrainingofbull—dogs;butitseemedasimpleenoughmatter，sohethankedtheman，andtookhisprizehomeattheendofarope。
\"Havewegottoliveinthehousewith_this？_\"askedmyaunt，indignantly，comingintotheroomaboutanhourafterthedog’sadvent，followedbythequadrupedhimself，wearinganidioticallyself—satisfiedair。
\"That！\"exclaimedmyuncle，inastonishment;\"why，it’sasplendiddog。HisfatherwashonorablymentionedonlylastyearattheAquarium。\"
\"Ah，well，allIcansayis，thathissonisn’tgoingthewaytogethonorablymentionedinthisneighborhood，\"repliedmyaunt，withbitterness;\"he’sjustfinishedkillingpoorMrs。McSlanger’scat，ifyouwanttoknowwhathehasbeendoing。Andaprettyrowthere’llbeaboutit，too！\"
\"Can’twehushitup？\"saidmyuncle。
\"Hushitup？\"retortedmyaunt。\"Ifyou’dheardtherow，youwouldn’tsitthereandtalklikeafool。Andifyou’lltakemyadvice，\"addedmyaunt，\"you’llsettoworkonthis’training，’orwhateveritis，thathasgottobedonetothedog，beforeanyhumanlifeislost。\"
Myunclewastoobusytodevoteanytimetothedogforthenextdayorso，andallthatcouldbedonewastokeeptheanimalcarefullyconfinedtothehouse。
Andanicetimewehadwithhim！Itwasnotthattheanimalwasbad—hearted。Hemeantwell——hetriedtodohisduty。Whatwaswrongwithhimwasthathewastoohard—working。Hewantedtodotoomuch。
Hestartedwithanexaggeratedandtotallyerroneousnotionofhisdutiesandresponsibilities。Hisideawasthathehadbeenbroughtintothehouseforthepurposeofpreventinganylivinghumansoulfromcomingnearitandofpreventinganypersonwhomightbychancehavemanagedtoslipinfromeveragainleavingit。
Weendeavoredtoinducehimtotakealessexaltedviewofhisposition，butinvain。Thatwastheconceptionhehadformedinhisownmindconcerninghisearthlytask，andthatconceptionheinsistedonlivinguptowith，whatappearedtoustobe，unnecessaryconscientiousness。
Hesoeffectuallyfrightenedawayallthetradespeople，thattheyatlastrefusedtoenterthegate。Allthattheywoulddowastobringtheirgoodsanddropthemoverthefenceintothefrontgarden，fromwherewehadtogoandfetchthemaswewantedthem。
\"Iwishyou’drunintothegarden，\"myauntwouldsaytome——Iwasstoppingwiththematthetime——\"andseeifyoucanfindanysugar;I
thinkthere’ssomeunderthebigrose—bush。Ifnot，you’dbettergotoJones’andordersome。\"
Andonthecook’sinquiringwhatsheshouldgetreadyforlunch，myauntwouldsay:
\"Well，I’msure，Jane，Ihardlyknow。Whathavewe？Arethereanychopsinthegarden，orwasitabitofsteakthatInoticedonthelawn？\"
Onthesecondafternoontheplumberscametodoalittlejobtothekitchenboiler。Thedog，beingengagedatthetimeinthefrontofthehouse，drivingawaythepostman，didnotnoticetheirarrival。Hewasbroken—heartedatfindingthemtherewhenhegotdownstairs，andevidentlyblamedhimselfmostbitterly。Still，theretheywere，allowingtohiscarelessness，andtheonlythingtobedonenowwastoseethattheydidnotescape。
Therewerethreeplumbers（italwaystakesthreeplumberstodoajob;
thefirstmancomesonaheadtotellyouthatthesecondmanwillbetheresoon，thesecondmancomestosaythathecan’tstop，andthethirdmanfollowstoaskifthefirstmanhasbeenthere）;andthatfaithful，dumbanimalkeptthempinnedupinthekitchen——fancywantingtokeepplumbersinahouselongerthanisabsolutelynecessary！——forfivehours，untilmyunclecamehome;andthebillran:\"Selfandtwomenengagedsixhours，repairingboiler—tap，18s。;
material，2d。;total18s。2d。\"
Hetookadisliketothecookfromtheveryfirst。Wedidnotblamehimforthis。Shewasadisagreeableoldwoman，andwedidnotthinkmuchofherourselves。Butwhenitcametokeepingheroutofthekitchen，sothatshecouldnotdoherwork，andmyauntandunclehadtocookthedinnerthemselves，assistedbythehousemaid——awilling—enoughgirl，butnecessarilyinexperienced——wefeltthatthewomanwasbeingsubjecttopersecution。
Myuncle，afterthis，decidedthatthedog’strainingmustbenolongerneglected。Themannextdoorbutonealwaystalkedasifheknewalotaboutsportingmatters，andtohimmyunclewentforadviceastohowtosetaboutit。
\"Oh，yes，\"saidtheman，cheerfully，\"verysimplething，trainingabull—dog。Wantspatience，that’sall。\"
\"Oh，thatwillbeallright，\"saidmyuncle;\"itcan’twantmuchmorethanlivinginthesamehousewithhimbeforehe’straineddoes。Howdoyoustart？\"
\"Well，I’lltellyou，\"saidnext—door—but—one。\"Youtakehimupintoaroomwherethere’snotmuchfurniture，andyoushutthedoorandboltit。\"
\"Isee，\"saidmyuncle。
\"Thenyouplacehimonthefloorinthemiddleoftheroom，andyougodownonyourkneesinfrontofhim，andbegintoirritatehim。\"
\"Oh！\"
\"Yes——andyougoonirritatinghimuntilyouhavemadehimquitesavage。\"
\"Which，fromwhatIknowofthedog，won’ttakelong，\"observedmyunclethoughtfully。
\"Somuchthebetter。Themomenthegetssavagehewillflyatyou。\"
Myuncleagreedthattheideaseemedplausible。
\"Hewillflyatyourthroat，\"continuedthenext—door—but—oneman，\"andthisiswhereyouwillhavetobecareful。_As_hespringstowardyou，and_before_hegetsholdofyou，youmusthithimafairstraightblowonhisnose，andknockhimdown。\"
\"Yes，Iseewhatyoumean。\"
\"Quiteso——well，themomentyouhaveknockedhimdown，hewilljumpupandgoforyouagain。Youmustknockhimdownagain;andyoumustkeepondoingthis，untilthedogisthoroughlycowedandexhausted。
Onceheisthoroughlycowed，thething’sdone——dog’sasgentleasalambafterthat。\"
\"Oh！\"saysmyuncle，risingfromhischair，\"youthinkthatagoodway，doyou？\"
\"Certainly，\"repliedthenext—door—but—oneman;\"itneverfails。\"
\"Oh！Iwasn’tdoubtingit，\"saidmyuncle;\"onlyit’sjustoccurredtomethatasyouunderstandtheknackofthesethings，perhaps_you’d_liketocomeinandtry_your_handonthedog？Wecangiveyouaroomquitetoyourselves;andI’llundertakethatnobodycomesneartointerferewithyou。Andif——if，\"continuedmyuncle，withthatkindlythoughtfulnesswhicheverdistinguishedhistreatmentofothers，\"_if_，byanychance，youshouldmisshittingthedogatthepropercriticalmoment，or，if_you_shouldgetcowedandexhaustedfirst，insteadofthedog——why，Ishallonlybetoopleasedtotakethewholeburdenofthefuneralexpensesonmyownshoulders;andI
hopeyouknowmewellenoughtofeelsurethatthearrangementswillbetasteful，and，atthesametime，unostentatious！\"
Andoutmyunclewalked。
Wenextconsultedthebutcher，whoagreedthattheprize—ringmethodwasabsurd，especiallywhenrecommendedtoashort—winded，elderlyfamilyman，andwhorecommended，instead，plentyofout—doorexerciseforthedog，undermyuncle’sstrictsupervisionandcontrol。
\"Getafairlylongchainforhim，\"saidthebutcher，\"andtakehimoutforagoodstiffruneveryevening。Neverlethimgetawayfromyou;
makehimmindyou，andbringhimhomealwaysthoroughlyexhausted。
Yousticktothatforamonthortwo，regular，andyou’llhavehimlikealittlechild。\"
\"Um！——seemstomethatI’mgoingtogetmoretrainingoverhisjobthananybodyelse，\"mutteredmyuncle，ashethankedthemanandlefttheshop;\"butIsupposeit’sgottobedone。WishI’dneverhadthed———dognow！\"
So，religiously，everyevening，myunclewouldfastenalongchaintothatpoordog，anddraghimawayfromhishappyhomewiththeideaofexhaustinghim;andthedogwouldcomebackasfreshaspaint，myunclebehindhim，pantingandclamoringforbrandy。
Myunclesaidheshouldneverhavedreamedtherecouldhavebeensuchstirringtimesinthisprosaicnineteenthcenturyashehad，trainingthatdog。
Oh，thewild，wildscamperingsoverthebreezycommon——thedogtryingtocatchaswallow，andmyuncle，unabletoholdhimback，followingattheotherendofthechain！
Oh，themerryfrolicsinthefields，whenthedogwantedtokillacow，andthecowwantedtokillthedog，andtheyeachdodgedroundmyuncle，tryingtodoit！
And，oh，thepleasantchatswiththeoldladieswhenthedogwoundthechainintoaknotaroundtheirlegs，andupsetthem，andmyunclehadtositdownintheroadbesidethem，anduntiethembeforetheycouldgetupagain！
Butacrisiscameatlast。ItwasaSaturdayafternoon——unclebeingexercisedbydoginusualway——nervouschildrenplayinginroad，seedog，scream，andrun——playfulyoungdogthinksitagame，jerkschainoutofuncle’sgrasp，andfliesafterthem——unclefliesafterdog，callingitnames——fondparentinfrontgarden，seeingbelovedchildrenchasedbysavagedog，followedbycarelessowner，fliesafteruncle，calling_him_names——householderscometodoorsandcry，\"Shame！\"——alsothrowthingsatdog——thingsdon’thitdog，hituncle——thingsthatdon’thituncle，hitfondparent——throughthevillageandupthehill，overthebridgeandroundbythegreen——grandrun，mileandahalfwithoutabreak！Childrensinkexhausted——doggambolsupamongthem——childrengointofits——fondparentandunclecomeuptogether，bothbreathless。
\"Whydon’tyoucallyourdogoff，youwickedoldman？\"
\"BecauseIcan’trecollecthisname，youoldfool，you！\"
Fondparentaccusesuncleofhavingsetdogon——uncle，indignant，revilesfondparent——exasperatedfondparentattacksuncle——uncleretaliateswithumbrella——faithfuldogcomestoassistanceofuncle，andinflictsgreatinjuryonfondparent——arrivalofpolice——dogattackspolice——uncleandfondparentbothtakenintocustody——unclefinedfivepoundsandcostsforkeepingaferociousdogatlarge——unclefinedfivepoundsandcostsforassaultonfondparent——unclefinedfivepoundsandcostforassaultonpolice！
Myunclegavethedogawaysoonafterthat。Hedidnotwastehim。Hegavehimasawedding—presenttoanearrelation。
ButthesaddeststoryIeverheardinconnectionwithabull—dog，wasonetoldbymyauntherself。
Nowyoucanrelyuponthisstory，becauseitisnotoneofmine，itisoneofmyaunt’s，andshewouldscorntotellalie。Thisisastoryyoucouldtelltotheheathen，andfeelthatyouwereteachingthemthetruthanddoingthemgood。TheygivethisstoryoutatalltheSunday—schoolsinourpartofthecountry，anddrawmorallessonsfromit。Itisastorythatalittlechildcanbelieve。
Ithappenedintheoldcrinolinedays。Myaunt，whowasthenlivinginacountry—town，hadgoneoutshoppingonemorning，andwasstandingintheHighStreet，talkingtoaladyfriend，aMrs。Gumworthy，thedoctor’swife。She（myaunt）hadonanewcrinolinethatmorning，inwhich，touseherownexpression，sheratherfanciedherself。Itwasatremendouslybigone，asstiffasawire—fence;andit\"set\"
beautifully。
TheywerestandinginfrontofJenkins’，thedraper’s;andmyauntthinksthatit——thecrinoline——musthavegotcaughtupinsomething，andanopeningthusleftbetweenitandtheground。Howeverthismaybe，certainitisthatanabsurdlylargeandpowerfulbull—dog，whowasfoolingroundaboutthereatthetime，managed，somehoworother，tosquirminundermyaunt’scrinoline，andeffectuallyimprisonhimselfbeneathit。
Findinghimselfsuddenlyinadarkandgloomychamber，thedog，naturallyenough，gotfrightened，andmadefranticrushestogetout。
Butwhicheverwayhecharged;therewasthecrinolineinfrontofhim。
Asheflew，he，ofcourse，carrieditbeforehim，andwiththecrinoline，ofcourse，wentmyaunt。
Butnobodyknewtheexplanation。Myauntherselfdidnotknowwhathadhappened。Nobodyhadseenthedogcreepinsidethecrinoline。
Allthatthepeopledidseewasastaidandeminentlyrespectablemiddle—agedladysuddenly，andwithoutanyapparentreason，throwherumbrelladownintheroad，flyuptheHighStreetattherateoftenmilesanhour，rushacrossitattheimminentriskofherlife，dartdownitagainontheotherside，rushsideways，likeanexcitedcrab，intoagrocer’sshop，runthreetimesroundtheshop，upsettingthewholestock—in—trade，comeoutoftheshopbackwardandknockdownapostman，dashintotheroadwayandspinroundtwice，hoverforamoment，undecided，onthecurb，andthenawayupthehillagain，asifshehadonlyjuststarted，allthewhilescreamingoutatthetopofhervoiceforsomebodytostopher！
Ofcourse，everybodythoughtshewasmad。Thepeopleflewbeforeherlikechaffbeforethewind。InlessthanfivesecondstheHighStreetwasadesert。Thetownsfolkscamperedintotheirshopsandhousesandbarricadedthedoors。Bravemendashedoutandcaughtuplittlechildrenandborethemtoplacesofsafetyamidcheers。Cartsandcarriageswereabandoned，whilethedriversclimbeduplamp—posts！
Whatwouldhavehappenedhadtheaffairgoneonmuchlonger——whethermyauntwouldhavebeenshot，orthefire—enginebroughtintorequisitionagainsther——itisimpossible，havingregardtotheterrifiedstateofthecrowd，tosay。Fortunatelyforher，shebecameexhausted。Withonedespairingshriekshegaveway，andsatdownonthedog;andpeacereignedonceagaininthatsweetruraltown。