Tosparehimnowwouldbeamockery;
Hbigot’spridehastriumphedalltoolongOvermyrighteousanger，andhascausedFartoomuchtroubleinourfamily。
Therascalalltoolonghasruledmyfather，Andcrossedmyster’slove，andmineaswell。
Thetraitornowmustbeunmaskedbeforehim:
AndProvidencehasgivenmemeanstodoit。
ToHeavenIowetheopportunity，AndifIdidnotuseitnowIhaveit，Ishoulddeservetoloseitonceforall。
ELMIRE
Dam
DAM
No，byyourleave;I’llnotbecounselled。
I’moverjoyed。Youneedn’ttrytotellmeImustgiveupthepleasureofrevenge。
I’llmakeanendofthaffairatonce;
And，tocontentme，here’smyfathernow。
SCENEV
ORGON，ELMIRE，DAM，TARTUFFE
DAM
Father，we’venewstowelcomeyourarrival，That’saltogethernovel，andsurpring。
Youarewellpaidforyourcaressingcare，AndthfinegentlemanrewardsyourloveMosthandsomely，withzealthatseeksnolessThanyourdhonour，ashasnowbeenproven。
I’vejustsurpredhimmakingtoyourwifeTheshamefulofferofaguiltylove。
She，somewhatovergentleanddcreet，Instedthatthethingshouldbeconcealed;
ButIwillnotcondonesuchshamelessness，Norsofarwrongyouastokeepitsecret。
ELMIRE
Yes，IbelieveawifeshouldnevertroubleHerhusband’speaceofmindwithsuchvaingossip;
Awoman’shonourdoesnothangontelling;
Itenoughifshedefendherself;
OrsoIthink;Dam，you’dnothavespoken，Ifyouwouldbuthaveheededmyadvice。
SCENEVI
ORGON，DAM，TARTUFFE
ORGON
JustHeaven！CanwhatIhearbecredited？
TARTUFFE
Yes，brother，Iamwicked，Iamguilty，Amerablesinner，steepedinevil，Thegreatestcriminalthateverlived。
Eachmomentofmylifestainedwithsoilures;
Andallbutamassofcrimeandfilth;
Heaven，formypunhment，Iseeitplainly，Wouldmortifymenow。WhateverwrongTheyfindtochargemewith，I’llnotdenyitButguardagainsttheprideofself—defence。
Believetheirstories，armyourwrathagainstme，Anddrivemelikeavillainfromyourhouse;
IcannothavesogreatashareofshameButwhatIhavedeservedagreaterstill。
ORGON（tohson）
Youmcreant，canyoudare，withsuchafalsehood，Totrytostainthewhitenessofhvirtue？
DAM
What！ThefeignedmeeknessofthhypocriteMakesyoudcredit
ORGON
Silence，cursedplague！
TARTUFFE
Ah！Lethimspeak;youchidehimwrongfully;
You’ddofarbettertobelievehtales。
Whyfavourmesomuchinsuchamatter？
HowcanyouknowofwhatI’mcapable？
Andshouldyoutrustmyoutwardsemblance，brother，OrjudgetherefromthatI’mthebetterman？
No，no;youletappearancesdeceiveyou;
I’manythingbutwhatI’mthoughttobe，Alas！andthoughallmenbelievemegodly，Thesimpletruth，I’maworthlesscreature。
（ToDam）
Yes，mydearson，sayon，andcallmetraitor，Abandonedscoundrel，thief，andmurderer;
Heaponmenamesyetmoredetestable，AndIshallnotgainsayyou;I’vedeservedthem;
I’llbearthignominyonmyknees，ToexpiateinshamethecrimesI’vedone。
ORGON（toTartuffe）
Ah，brother，’ttoomuch！
（Tohson）
You’llnotrelent，Youblackguard？
DAM
What！Htalkcansodeceiveyou
ORGON
Silence，youscoundrel！
（ToTartuffe）
Brother，re，Ibegyou。
（Tohson）
Infamousvillain！
DAM
Canhe
ORGON
Silence！
DAM
What
ORGON
Anotherword，I’llbreakyoureverybone。
TARTUFFE
Brother，inGod’sname，don’tbeangrywithhim！
I’dratherbearmyselfthebitteresttortureThanhavehimgetascratchonmyaccount。
ORGON（tohson）
Ungratefulmonster！
TARTUFFE
Stop。UponmykneesIbegyoupardonhim
ORGON（throwinghimselfonhkneestoo，andembracingTartuffe）
Alas！Howcanyou？
（Tohson）
Villain！Beholdhgoodness！
DAM
So
ORGON
Bestill。
DAM
What！I
ORGON
Bestill，Isay。IknowyourmotivesForthattack。Youhatehim，allofyou;
Wife，children，servants，allletlooseuponhim，YouhaverecoursetoeveryshamefultrickTodrivethgodlymanoutofmyhouse;
Themoreyoustrivetoridyourselvesofhim，ThemoreI’llstrivetomakehimstaywithme;
I’llhavehimstraightwaymarriedtomydaughter，Justtoconfoundtheprideofallofyou。
DAM
What！Willyouforcehertoaccepthhand？
ORGON
Yes，andthveryevening，toenrageyou，Youngrascal！Ah！I’llbraveyouall，andshowyouThatI’mthemaster，andmustbeobeyed。
Now，downuponyourkneesthinstant，rogue，Andtakebackwhatyousaid，andaskhpardon。
DAM
Who？I？Askpardonofthatcheatingscoundrel？
ORGON
Doyourest，youbeggar，andinsulthim？
Acudgel，here！acudgel！
（ToTartuffe）
Don’trestrainme。
（Tohson）
Offwithyou！Leavemyhousethinstant，sirrah，Andneverdaresetfootinitagain。
DAM
Yes，Iwillleaveyourhouse，but
ORGON
Leaveitquickly。
Youreprobate，Idinherityou，Andgiveyou，too，mycurseintothebargain。
SCENEVII
ORGON，TARTUFFE
ORGON
What！SoinsultasaintlymanofGod！
TARTUFFE
Heaven，forgivehimallthepainhegivesme！[4]
[Footnote4:Somemoderneditionshaveadoptedthereading，preservedbytraditionasthatoftheearlieststageversion:Heaven，forgivehimevenasIforgivehim！Voltairegivesstillanotherreading:
Heaven，forgivemeevenasIforgivehim！Whicheverwastheoriginalversion，itappearsinnoneoftheearlyeditions，andMoliereprobablyfeltforcedtochangeitonaccountofitstoocloseresemblancetotheBiblicalphrase。]
（ToOrgon）
CouldyoubutknowwithwhatdtressIseeThemtrytovilifymetomybrother！
ORGON
Ah！
TARTUFFE
ThemerethoughtofsuchingratitudeMakesmysoulsuffertorture，bitterly
MyhorroratitAh！myheart’ssofullIcannotspeakIthinkI’lldieofit。
ORGON（intears，runningtothedoorthroughwhichhedroveawayhson）
Scoundrel！IwhI’dneverletyougo，Butslainyouonthespotwithmyownhand。
（ToTartuffe）
Brother，composeyourself，anddon’tbeangry。
TARTUFFE
Nay，brother，letusendthesepainfulquarrels。
IseewhattroubloustimesIbringuponyou，Andthink’tneedfulthatIleavethhouse。
ORGON
What！Youcan’tmeanit？
TARTUFFE
Yes，theyhatemehere，Andtry，Ifind，tomakeyoudoubtmyfaith。
ORGON
Whatofit？DoyoufindIltentothem？
TARTUFFE
Nodoubttheywon’tstopthere。ThesesamereportsYounowreject，maysomedaywinahearing。
ORGON
No，brother，never。
TARTUFFE
Ah！myfriend，awomanMayeasilymleadherhusband’smind。
ORGON
No，no。
TARTUFFE
SoletmequicklygoawayAndthusremoveallcauseforsuchattacks。
ORGON
No，youshallstay;mylifedependsuponit。
TARTUFFE
ThenImustmortifymyself。Andyet，Ifyoushouldwh
ORGON
No，never！
TARTUFFE
Verywell，then;
Nomoreofthat。ButIshallrulemyconductTofitthecase。Honourdelicate，Andfriendshipbindsmetoforestallsuspicion，Preventallscandal，andavoidyourwife。
ORGON
No，youshallhaunther，justtospitethemall。
’Tmydelighttosettheminarage;
YoushallbeseentogetheratallhoursAndwhatmore，thebettertodefythem，I’llhavenootherheirbutyou;andstraightwayI’llgoandmakeadeedofgifttoyou，Drawnindueform，ofallmyproperty。
Agoodtruefriend，myson—in—lawtobe，moretomethanson，andwife，andkindred。
Youwillacceptmyoffer，willyounot？
TARTUFFE
Heaven’swillbedoneineverything！
ORGON
Poorman！
We’llgomakehastetodrawthedeedaright，Andthenletenvyburstitselfwithspite！
ACTIV
SCENEI
CLEANTE，TARTUFFE
CLEANTE
Yes，it’sbecomethetalkofallthetown，Andmakeastirthat’sscarcelytoyourcredit;
AndIhavemetyou，sir，mostopportunely，Totellyouinawordmyfrankopinion。
Nottosiftoutthscandaltothebottom，Supposetheworstforus——supposeDamActedthetraitor，andaccusedyoufalsely;
ShouldnotaChrtianpardonthoffence，Andstifleinhheartallwhforvengeance？
Shouldyoupermitthat，foryourpettyquarrel，Asonbedrivenfromhfather’shouse？
Itellyouyetagain，andtellyoufrankly，Everyone，highorlow，scandaled;
Ifyou’lltakemyadvice，you’llmakeitup，Andnotpushmatterstoextremities。
MakesacrificetoGodofyourresentment;
Restorethesontofavourwithhfather。
TARTUFFE
Alas！SofarasI’mconcerned，howgladlyWouldIdoso！Ibearhimnoillwill;
Ipardonall，laynothingtohcharge，AndwhwithallmyheartthatImightservehim;
ButHeaven’sinterestscannotallowit;
Ifhereturns，thenImustleavethehouse。
Afterhconduct，quiteunparalleled，Allintercoursebetweenuswouldbringscandal;
Godknowswhateveryone’sfirstthoughtwouldbe！
TheywouldattributeittomerestschemingOnmypart——saythatconsciousofmyguiltIfeignedaChrtianloveformyaccuser，Butfearedhiminmyheart，andhopedtowinhimAndunderhandedlysecurehsilence。
CLEANTE
Youtrytoputusoffwithspeciousphrases;
Butallyourargumentsaretoofar—fetched。
WhytakeuponyourselfthecauseofHeaven？
DoesHeavenneedourhelptopunhsinners？
Leavetoitselfthecareofitsownvengeance，Andkeepinmindthepardonitcommandsus;
Besides，thinksomewhatlessofmen’sopinions，WhenyouarefollowingthewillofHeaven。
ShallpettyfearofwhattheworldmaythinkPreventthedoingofanobledeed？
No！——letusalwaysdoasHeavencommands，Andnotperplexourbrainswithfurtherquestions。
TARTUFFE
AlreadyIhavetoldyouIforgivehim;
Andthatdoing，sir，asHeavencommands。
Butafterthday’sscandalandaffrontHeavendoesnotordermetolivewithhim。
CLEANTE
AnddoesitorderyoutolendyourearTowhatmerewhimsuggestedtohfather，Andtoacceptgiftofhestates，Onwhich，injustice，youcanmakenoclaim？
TARTUFFE
Noonewhoknowsme，sir，canhavethethoughtThatIamactingfromaselfhmotive。
Thegoodsofthworldhavenocharmsforme;
Iamnotdazzledbytheirtreacherousglamour;
AndifIbringmyselftotakethegiftWhichheinstsongivingme，Idoso，Totellthetruth，onlybecauseIfearThwholeestatemayfallintobadhands，AndthosetowhomitcomesmayuseitillAndnotemployit，asmydesign，ForHeaven’sgloryandmyneighbours’good。
CLEANTE
Eh，sir，giveuptheseconscientiousscruplesThatwellmaycausearightfulheir’scomplaints。
Don’ttakesomuchuponyourself，butlethimPossesswhat’sh，athownrkandperil;
Consider，itwerebetterhemusedit，Thanyoushouldbeaccusedofrobbinghim。
IamastoundedthatunblushinglyYoucouldallowsuchofferstobemade！
Tellme——hastruereligionanymaximThatteachesustorobthelawfulheir？
IfHeavenhasmadeitquiteimpossibleDamandyoushouldlivetogetherhere，WereitnotbetteryoushouldquietlyAndhonourablywithdraw，thanletthesonBedrivenoutforyoursake，deadagainstAllreason？’Twouldbegiving，sir，believeme，Suchanexampleofyourprobity
TARTUFFE
Sir，ithalf—pastthree;certaindevotionsRecallmetomycloset;you’llforgivemeForleavingyousosoon。
CLEANTE（alone）
Ah！
SCENEII
ELMIRE，MARIANE，CLEANTE，DORINE
DORINE（toCleante）
Sir，webegyouTohelpusallyoucaninherbehalf;
She’ssufferingalmostmorethanheartcanbear;
Thmatchherfathermeanstomaketo—nightDriveshereachmomenttodespair。He’scoming。
Letusuniteoureffortsnow，webegyou，Andtrybystrengthorskilltochangehpurpose。
SCENEIII
ORGON，ELMIRE，MARIANE，CLEANTE，DORINE
ORGON
Soho！I’mgladtofindyoualltogether。
（ToMariane）
Herethecontractthatshallmakeyouhappy，Mydear。Youknowalreadywhatitmeans。
MARIANE（onherkneesbeforeOrgon）
Father，Ibegyou，inthenameofHeavenThatknowsmygrief，andbywhate’ercanmoveyou，Relaxalittleyourpaternalrights，Andfreemylovefromthobedience！
Oh，donotmakeme，byyourharshcommand，ComplaintoHeavenyoueverweremyfather;
Donotmakewretchedthpoorlifeyougaveme。
If，crossingthatfondhopewhichIhadformed，You’llnotpermitmetobelongtooneWhomIhavedaredtolove，atleast，IbegyouUponmyknees，oh，savemefromthetormentOfbeingpossessedbyonewhomIabhor！
AnddonotdrivemetosomedesperateactByexercingallyourrightsuponme。
ORGON（alittletouched）
Come，come，myheart，befirm！nohumanweakness！
MARIANE
Iamnotjealousofyourloveforhim;
Dplayitfreely;givehimyourestate，Andifthat’snotenough，addallofmine;
Iwillinglyagree，andgiveitup，Ifonlyyou’llnotgivehimme，yourdaughter;
Oh，ratherletaconvent’srigidruleWearoutthewretcheddaysthatHeavenallotsme。
ORGON
Thesegirlsareninnies！——alwaysturningnunsWhenfathersthwarttheirsillylove—affairs。
Getonyourfeet！Themoreyouhatetohavehim，Themore’twillhelpyouearnyoursoul’ssalvation。
So，mortifyyoursensesbythmarriage，Anddon’tvexmeaboutitanymore。
DORINE
Butwhat？
ORGON
Youholdyourtongue，beforeyourbetters。
Don’tdaretosayasingleword，Itellyou。
CLEANTE
Ifyouwillletmeanswer，andadve
ORGON
Brother，Ivalueyouradvicemosthighly;
’Twellthoughtout;nobettercanbehad;
Butyou’llallowme——nottofollowit。
ELMIRE（toherhusband）
Ican’tfindwordstocopewithsuchacase;
Yourblindnessmakesmequiteastoundedatyou。
Youarebewitchedwithhim，todbelieveThethingswetellyouhappenedhereto—day。
ORGON
Iamyourhumbleservant，andcanseeThings，whenthey’replainasnosesonfolks’faces，Iknowyou’repartialtomyrascalson，Anddidn’tdaretodavowthetrickHetriedtoplayonthpoorman;besides，Youweretoocalm，tobebelieved;ifthatHadhappened，you’dhavebeenfarmoredturbed。
ELMIRE
AndmustourhonouralwaysrushtoarmsAtthemerementionofillicitlove？
OrcanweanswernoattackuponitExceptwithblazingeyesandlipsofscorn？
Formypart，Ijustlaughawaysuchnonsense;
I’venodesiretomakealoudto—do。
Ourvirtueshould，Ithink，begentle—natured;
NorcanIquiteapprovethosesavageprudesWhosehonourarmsitselfwithteethandclawsTotearmen’seyesoutattheslightestword。
Heavenpreservemefromthatkindofhonour！
Ilikemyvirtuenottobeavixen，AndIbelieveaquietcoldrebuffNolesseffectivetorepulsealover。
ORGON
Iknowandyoucan’tthrowmeoffthescent。
ELMIRE
Oncemore，Iamastoundedatyourweakness;
Iwonderwhatyourunbeliefwouldanswer，IfIshouldletyouseewe’vetoldthetruth？
ORGON
Seeit？
ELMIRE
Yes。
ORGON
Nonsense。
ELMIRE
Come！IfIshouldfindAwaytomakeyouseeitclearasday？
ORGON
Allrubbh。
ELMIRE
Whataman！Butanswerme。
I’mnotproposingnowthatyoubelieveus;
Butlet’ssupposethathere，fromproperhiding，Youshouldbemadetoseeandhearallplainly;
Whatwouldyousaythen，toyourmanofvirtue？
ORGON
Why，then，I’dsaysaynothing。Itcan’tbe。
ELMIRE
Yourerrorhasenduredtoolongalready，Andquitetoolongyou’vebrandedmealiar。
Imustatonce，formyownsatfaction，Makeyouawitnessofthethingswe’vetoldyou。
ORGON
Amen！Itakeyouatyourword。We’llseeWhattricksyouhave，andhowyou’llkeepyourprome。
ELMIRE（toDorine）
Sendhimtome。
DORINE（toElmire）
Theman’sacraftycodger，Perhapsyou’llfinditdifficulttocatchhim。
ELMIRE（toDorine）
Ohno！Alover’sneverhardtocheat，Andself—conceitleadsstraighttoself—deceit。
Bidhimcomedowntome。
（ToCleanteandMariane）
Andyou，withdraw。
SCENEIV
ELMIRE，ORGON
ELMIRE
Bringupthtable，andgetunderit。
ORGON
What？
ELMIRE
Oneessentialtohideyouwell。
ORGON
Whyunderthere？
ELMIRE
Oh，dear！DoasIsay;
IknowwhatI’mabout，asyoushallsee。
Getunder，now，Itellyou;andoncethereBecarefulnooneeitherseesorhearsyou。
ORGON
I’mgoingalongwaytohumouryou，Imustsay;butI’llseeyouthroughyourscheme。
ELMIRE
Andthenyou’llhave，Ithink，nomoretosay。
（Toherhusband，whonowunderthetable。）
Butmind，I’mgoingtomeddlewithstrangematters;
Prepareyourselftobeinnoweshocked。
WhateverImaysaymustpass，because’Tonlytoconvinceyou，asIpromed。
Bywheedlingspeeches，sinceI’mforcedtodoit，I’llmakethhypocriteputoffhmask，Flatterthelongingsofhshamelesspassion，Andgivefreeplaytoallhimpudence。
But，since’tforyoursake，toprovetoyouHguilt，thatIshallfeigntosharehlove，Icanleaveoffassoonasyou’reconvinced，Andthingsshallgonofartherthanyouchoose。
So，whenyouthinkthey’vegonequitefarenough，Itforyoutostophmadpursuit，Tospareyourwife，andnotexposemefartherThanyoushallneed，yourself，toundeceiveyou。
Ityourownaffair，andyoumustenditWhenHerehecomes。Keepstill，don’tshowyourself。
SCENEV
TARTUFFE，ELMIRE;ORGON（underthetable）
TARTUFFE
Theytoldmethatyouwhedtoseemehere。
ELMIRE
Yes。Ihavesecretsforyourearalone。
Butshutthedoorfirst，andlookeverywhereForfearofspies。
（Tartuffegoesandclosesthedoor，andcomesback。）
Wesurelycan’taffordAnotherscenelikethatwehadjustnow;
Waseveranyonesocaughtbefore！
DamdidfrightenmemostterriblyOnyouraccount;yousawIdidmybestTobafflehdesign，andcalmhanger。
ButIwassoconfused，IneverthoughtTocontradicthstory;still，thankHeaven，Thingsturnedoutallthebetter，asithappened，Andnowwe’reonanevensaferfooting。
Thehighesteemyou’reheldin，laidthestorm;
Myhusbandcanhavenosuspicionofyou，Andeveninsts，tospitethescandal—mongers，Thatweshallbetogetherconstantly;
Sothathow，withouttherkofblame，Icanbeherelockedupwithyoualone，Andcanrevealtoyoumyheart，perhapsOnlytooreadytoallowyourpassion。
TARTUFFE
Yourwordsaresomewhathardtounderstand，Madam;justnowyouusedadifferentstyle。