K。——Gad！d’youknowIwasverynearlypitchingintohim？Butonce，onenightintheHaymarket，atalobster—shop，whereIwaswithsomefellows，wechaffedsomeotherfellows，andtherewasonefellah——quitealittlefellah——andIpitchedintohim，andhegavemethemostconfoundedlickin’Ieverhadinmylife，sincemybrotherKickleburylickedmewhenwewereatEton;andthat，yousee，wasalessontome，ma’am。Nevertrustthoselittlefellows，neverchaff’em:dammy，theymaybeboxers。
LADYK。——Youquarrelsomeboy！IrememberyoucominghomewithyournaughtyheadSObruised。[Looksatwatch。]Imustgonowtotakemydrive。[ExitLADYK。]
K。——Ioweadooseofatickatthatbilliard—room;Ishallhavethatboatmandunnin’me。Whyhasn’tMillikengotanyhorsestoride？Hanghim！supposehecan’tride——supposehe’satailor。Heain’tMYtailor，though，thoughIowehimadoosiddealofmoney。
Theregoesmammawiththatdarlingnephewandnieceofmine。
[EnterBULKELEY]。Whyhaven’tyougonewithmylady，you，sir？
[toBulkeley。]
BULKELEY。——Myladyhavea—tookthepony—carriage，sir;Mrs。
Bonningtonhavea—tookthehopencarriageand’orses，sir，thismornin’，whichtheBishopofLondonis’oldingaconfirmationatTeddington，sir，andMr。Bonningtonisattendingtheserimony。AndIhavetoldMr。’Owell，sir，thatmyladywouldpreferthehopencarriage，sir，whichIlikethehexercisemyself，sir，andthatthepony—carriagewasgoodenoughforMrs。Bonnington，sir;andMr。
’Owellwasveryhinsolenttome，sir;andIdon’tthinkIcanstayinthe’ousewithhim。
K。——Holdyourjaw，sir。
BULKELEY。——Yes，sir。[ExitBULKELEY。]
K。——Iwonderwhothatgovernessis？——sangratherprettilylastnight——wishshe’dcomeandsingnow——wishshe’dcomeandamuseme——
I’veseenherfacebefore——wherehaveIseenherface？——itain’tatallabadone。WhatshallIdo？dammy，I’llreadabook:I’venotreadabookthiseversolong。What’shere？[looksamongstbooks，selectsone，sinksdownineasy—chairsoasquitetobelost。]
EnterMissPRIOR。
MISSPRIOR。——There’speaceinthehouse！thosenoisychildrenareawaywiththeirgrandmamma。Theweatherisbeautiful，andIhopetheywilltakealongdrive。NowIcanhaveaquiethalf—hour，andfinishthatdearpretty\"Ruth\"——oh，howitmakesmecry，thatprettystory。[Laysdownherbonnetontable——goestoglass——takesoffcapandspectacles——arrangesherhair——Clarencehasgotonchairlookingather。]
K。——ByJove！Iknowwhoitisnow！Rememberheraswellaspossible。Fouryearsago，whenlittleFoxburyusedtodanceintheballetoverthewater。DON’TIrememberher！Sheboxedmyearsbehindthescenes，byjingo。[Comingforward]。MissPemberton！
Staroftheballet！Lightoftheharem！Don’tyourememberthegrandOrientalballetofthe\"BulbulandthePeri？\"
MISSP。——Oh！[screams。]No，n——no，sir。Youaremistaken:mynameisPrior。I——neverwasatthe\"CoburgTheatre。\"I——
K。[seizingherhand]。——No，youdon’t，though！What！don’tyourememberwellthatlittlehandslappingthisface？whichnaturehadn’tthenadornedwithwhiskers，bygad！YoupretendyouhaveforgottenlittleFoxbury，whomCharleyCalverleyusedtocomeafter，andwhousedtodrivetothe\"Coburg\"everynightinherbrougham。Howdidyouknowitwasthe\"Coburg？\"ThatISagoodone！HADyouthere，Ithink。
MISSP。——Sir，inthenameofheaven，pityme！Ihavetokeepmymotherandmysistersandmybrothers。When——whenyousawme，wewereingreatpoverty;andalmostallthewretchedearningsImadeatthattimeweregiventomypoorfatherthenlyingintheQueen’sBenchhardby。Youknowtherewasnothingagainstmycharacter——
youknowtherewasnot。AskCaptainTouchitwhetherIwasnotagoodgirl。Itwashewhobroughtmetothishouse。
K。——Touchit！theoldvillain！
MISSP。——Ihadyoursister’sconfidence。Itendedherabroadonherdeath—bed。Ihavebroughtupyournephewandniece。AskanyoneifIhavenotbeenhonest？Asaman，asagentleman，Ientreatyoutokeepmysecret！Iimploreyouforthesakeofmypoormotherandherchildren！[kneeling。]
K。——ByJove！howhandsomeyouare！Howcryingbecomesyoureyes！
Getup;getup。OfcourseI’llkeepyoursecret，but——
MISSP。——Ah！ah！[Shescreamsashetriestoembraceher。HOWELL
rushesin。]
HOWELL。——Handsoff，youlittlevillain！StirastepandI’llkillyou，ifyouwerearegimentofcaptains！What！insultthisladywhokeptwatchatyoursister’sdeath—bedandhastookchargeofherchildren！Don’tbefrightened，MissPrior。Julia——dear，dearJulia——I’mbyyou。Ifthescoundreltouchesyou，I’llkillhim。
I——Iloveyou——there——it’shere——loveyoumadly——withallmy’art——
mya—heart！
MISSP。——Howell——forheaven’ssake，Howell！
K。——Pooh——ooh！[burstingwithlaughter]。Here’sanovel，byjingo！
Here’sJohninlovewiththegoverness。Fondofplush，MissPemberton——ey？Gad，it’sthebestthingIeverknew。Savedagoodbit，ey，Jeames？Takeapublic—house？ByJove！I’llbuymybeerthere。
JOHN。——Oweforit，youmean。Idon’tthinkyourtradesmenprofitmuchbyyourcustom，ex—CornetKicklebury。
K。——ByJove！I’lldoforyou，youvillain！
JOHN。——No，notthatway，Captain。[Struggleswithandthrowshim。]
K。[screams。]——Hallo，Bulkeley！[Bulkeleyisseenstrollinginthegarden。]
EnterBULKELEY。
BULKELEY。——Whatisit，sir？
K。——Takethisconfoundedvillainoffme，andpitchhimintotheThames——doyouhear？
JOHN。——Comehere，andI’llbreakeveryboneinyourhulkingbody。
[ToBULKELEY。]
BULKELEY。——Come，come！whatheverhishallthisyearrowabout？
MISSP。——Forheaven’ssakedon’tstrikethatpoorman。
BULKELEY。——YOUbequiet。What’shea—hittin’aboutmymasterfor？
JOHN。——Takeoffyourhat，sir，whenyouspeaktoalady。[Takesupapoker。]Andnowcomeon，bothofyou，cowards！[RushesatBULKELEYandknockshishatoffhishead。]
BULKELEY[steppingback]。——Ifyou’llputdownthattherepoker，youknow，thenI’llpitchintoyoufastenough。Butthattherepokerain’tfair，youknow。
K。——Youvillain！ofcourseyouwillleavethishouse。And，MissPrior，Ithinkyouunderstandthatyouwillgotoo。Idon’tthinkmyniecewantstolearnDANCIN’，youunderstand。Good—by。Here，Bulkeley！[Getsbehindfootmanandexit。]
MISSP。——Doyouknowthemeaningofthatthreat，Mr。Howell？
JOHN。——Yes，MissPrior。
MISSP。——Iwasadanceronce，forthreemonths，fouryearsago，whenmypoorfatherwasinprison。
JOHN。——Yes，MissPrior，Iknewit。AndIsawyouamanytimes。
MISSP。——Andyoukeptmysecret？
JOHN。——Yes，Ju——Jul——MissPrior。
MISSP。——Thankyou，andGodblessyou，JohnHowell。There，there。
Youmustn’t！indeedyoumustn’t！
JOHN。——Youdon’tremembertheprinter’sboywhousedtocometoMr。
O’Reilly，andsitinyour’allinBuryStreet，MissPrior？Iwasthatboy。Iwasacountry—bredboy——thatisifyoucallPutneycountry，andWimbledonCommonandthat。IservedtheMillikenfamilysevenyear。IwentwithMasterHoracetocollege，andthenIrevoltedagainstservice，andIthoughtI’dbeamanandturnprinterlikeDoctorFrankling。AndIgotinanoffice:andIwentwithproofstoMr。O’Reilly，andIsawyou。AndthoughImighthavebeeninlovewithsomebodyelsebeforeIdid——yetitwasallhupwhenIsawyou。
MISSP。[kindly。]——YOUmustnottalktomeinthatway，JohnHowell。
JOHN。——Let’stellthetaleout。Icouldn’tstandthenewspapernight—work。Ihadamotherandbrothersandsisterstokeep，asyouhad。IwentbacktoHoraceMillikenandsaid，Sir，I’velostmywork。Iandminewantbread。Willyoutakemebackagain？Andhedid。He’sakind，kindsoulismymaster。
MISSP。——HeISakind，kindsoul。
JOHN。——He’sgoodtoallthepoor。Hishand’sinhispocketforeverybody。Everybodytakesadvantageofhim。Hismother—in—lorridesoverhim。SodoeshisMa。SodoI，Imaysay;butthat’sovernow;andyouandIhavehadournoticetoquit。Miss，I
shouldsay。
MISSP。——Yes。
JOHN。——Ihavesavedabitofmoney——notmuch——ahundredpound。
MissPrior——Julia——hereIam——look——I’mapoorfeller——apoorservant——butI’vetheheartofaman——and——Iloveyou——oh！Iloveyou！
MARY。——Ohho——ho！[Maryhasenteredfromgarden，andburstsoutcrying。]
MISSP。——Itcan’tbe，JohnHowell——mydear，brave，kindJohnHowell。Itcan’tbe。Ihavewatchedthisforsometimepast，andpoorMary’sdespairhere。[KissesMary，whocriesplentifully。]
Youhavetheheartofatrue，braveman，andmustshowitandproveitnow。Iamnot——amnotofyourpardonmeforsayingso——ofyourclassinlife。Iwasbredbymyuncle，awayfrommypoorparents，thoughIcamebacktothemafterhissuddendeath;andtopoverty，andtothisdependentlifeIamnowleading。Iamaservant，likeyou，John，butinanothersphere——havetoseekanotherplacenow;
andheavenknowsifIshallprocureone，nowthatthatunluckypassageinmylifeisknown。Oh，thecowardtorecallit！thecoward！
MARY。——ButJohnwhoppedhim，Miss！thathedid。Hegaveithimwell，Johndid。[Crying。]
MISSP。——Youcan’t——yououghtnottoforegoanattachmentlikethat，JohnHowell。Amorehonestandtrue—heartedcreatureneverbreathedthanMaryBarlow。
JOHN。——No，indeed。
MISSP。——Shehaslovedyousinceshewasalittlechild。Andyoulovedheronce，anddonow，John。
MARY。——Oh，Miss！youhareahangel，——Ihallwayssaidyouwereahangel。
MISSP。——YouarebetterthanIam，mydearmuch，muchbetterthanI
am，John。ThecurseofmypovertyhasbeenthatIhavehadtoflatterandtodissemble，andhidethefaultsofthoseIwantedtohelp，andtosmilewhenIwashurt，andlaughwhenIwassad，andtocoax，andtotack，andtobidemytime，——notwithMr。Milliken:
heisallhonor，andkindness，andsimplicity。WhodidHEeverinjure，orwhatunkindworddidHEeversay？Butdoyouthink，withthejealousyofthosepoorladiesoverhishouse，Icouldhavestayedherewithoutbeingahypocritetobothofthem？Go，John。
Mygood，dearfriend，JohnHowell，marryMary。You’llbehappierwithherthanwithme。There！There！[Theyembrace。]
MARY。——O——o——o！IthinkI’llgoandhironhoutMissHarabella’sfrocksnow。[ExitMARY。]
EnterMILLIKENwithCLARENCE——whoisexplainingthingstohim。
CLARENCE。——Heretheyare，Igiveyoumywordofhonor。Ask’em，damnem。
MILLIKEN。——WhatisthisIhear？You，JohnHowell，havedaredtostrikeagentlemanundermyroof！Yourmaster’sbrother—in—law？
JOHN。——Yes，byJove！andI’ddoitagain。
MILLIKEN。——Areyoudrunkormad，Howell？
JOHN。——I’massoberandassensibleaseverIwasinmylife，sir——
Inotonlystruckthemaster，butIstrucktheman，who’stwiceasbig，onlynotquiteasbigacoward，Ithink。
MILLIKEN。——Holdyourscurriloustonguessir！Mygoodnatureruinseverybodyaboutme。Makeupyouraccounts。Packyourtrunks——andneverletmeseeyourfaceagain。
JOHN。——Verygood，sir。
MILLIKEN。——Isuppose，MissPrior，youwillalsobedisposedto——tofollowMr。Howell？
MISSP。——Toquityou，nowyouknowwhathaspassed？Ineversupposeditcouldbeotherwise——Ideceivedyou，Mr。Milliken——asI
keptasecretfromyou，andmustpaythepenalty。Itisarelieftome，theswordhasbeenhangingoverme。IwishIhadtoldyourpoorwife，asIwasoftenmindedtodo。
MILLIKEN。——Oh，youweremindedtodoitinItaly，wereyou？
MISSP。——CaptainTouchitknewit，sir，allalong:andthatmymotivesand，thankGod，mylifewerehonorable。
MILLIKEN。——Oh，Touchitknewit，didhe？andthoughtithonorable——
honorable。Ha！ha！tomarryafootman——andkeepapublic—house？
I——Ibegyourpardon，JohnHowell——Imeannothingagainstyou，youknow。You’reanhonorablemanenough，exceptthatyouhavebeendamnedinsolenttomybrother—in—law。
JOHN。——Oh，heaven！[JOHNstrikeshisforehead，andwalksaway。]
MISSP。——Youmistakeme，sir。WhatIwishedtospeakofwasthefactwhichthisgentlemanhasnodoubtcommunicatedtoyou——thatI
dancedonthestageforthreemonths。
MILLIKEN。——Oh，yes。Oh，damme，yes。Iforgot。Iwasn’tthinkingofthat。
KICKLEBURY。——Youseesheownsit。
MISSP。——Wewereinthedepthsofpoverty。Ourfurnitureandlodging—houseunderexecution——fromwhichCaptainTouchit，whenhecametoknowofourdifficulties，noblyafterwardsreleasedus。Myfatherwasinprison，andwantedshillingsformedicine，andI——I
wentanddancedonthestage。
MILLIKEN。——Well？
MISSP。——AndIkeptthesecretafterwards;knowingthatIcouldneverhopeasgovernesstoobtainaplaceafterhavingbeenastage—dancer。
MILLIKEN。——Ofcourseyoucouldn’t，——it’soutofthequestion;andmayIask，areyougoingtoresumethatdelightfulprofessionwhenyouenterthemarriedstatewithMr。Howell？
MISSP。——PoorJohn！itisnotIwhoamgoingto——thatis，it’sMary，theschool—roommaid。
MILLIKEN。——Eternalblazes！HaveyouturnedMormon，JohnHowell，andareyougoingtomarrythewholehouse？
JOHN。——ImadeahassofmyselfaboutMissPrior。Icouldn’thelpherbeingl——l——lovely。
KICK。——Gad，heproposedtoherinmypresence。
JOHN。——WhatIproposedtoher，CornetClarenceKicklebury，wasmyheartandmyhonor，andmybest，andmyeverything——andyou——youwantedtotakeadvantageofhersecret，andyouofferedherindignities，andyoulaidacowardlyhandonher——acowardlyhand！——
andIstruckyou，andI’ddoitagain。
MILLIKEN。——What？Isthistrue？[TurningroundveryfiercelytoK。]
KICK。——Gad！Well——Ionly——
MILLIKEN。——Youonlywhat？Youonlyinsultedaladyundermyroof——
thefriendandnurseofyourdeadsister——theguardianofmychildren。Youonlytookadvantageofadefencelessgirl，andwouldhaveextortedyourinfernalpayoutofherfear。Youmiserablesneakandcoward！
KICK。——Hallo！Come，come！IsayIwon’tstandthissortofchaff。
Dammy，I’llsendafriendtoyou！
MILLIKEN。——Gooutofthatwindow，sir。March！orIwilltellmyservant，JohnHowell，tokickyouout，youwretchedlittlescamp！
Tellthatbigbrute，——what’s—his—name？——LadyKicklebury’sman，topackthisyoungman’sportmanteauandbear’s—greasepots;andifeveryouenterthesedoorsagain，ClarenceKicklebury，bytheheaventhatmademe！——byyoursisterwhoisdead！——Iwillcaneyourlifeoutofyourbones。Angelinheaven！ShadeofmyArabella——tothinkthatyourbrotherinyourhouseshouldbefoundtoinsulttheguardianofyourchildren！
JOHN。——Byjingo，you’reagood—pluckedone！Iknewhewas，Miss，——
Itoldyouhewas。[Exit，shakinghandswithhismaster，andwithMissP。，anddancingforjoy。ExitCLARENCE，scared，outofwindow。]
JOHN[without]。——Bulkeley！packuptheCapting’sluggage！
MILLIKEN。——HowcanIaskyourpardon，MissPrior？Inmywife’snameIaskit——inthenameofthatangelwhosedying—bedyouwatchedandsoothed——oftheinnocentchildrenwhomyouhavefaithfullytendedsince。
MISSP。——Ah，sir！itisgrantedwhenyouspeaksotome。
MILLIKEN。——Eh，eh——d——don’tcallmesir！
MISSP。——Itisformetoaskpardonforhidingwhatyouknownow:
butifIhadtoldyou——you——youneverwouldhavetakenmeintoyourhouse——yourwifeneverwould。
MILLIKEN。——No，no。[Weeping。]
MISSP。——Mydear，kindCaptainTouchitknowsitall。ItwasbyhiscounselIacted。Heitwaswhorelievedourdistress。Askhimwhethermyconductwasnothonorable——askhimwhethermylifewasnotdevotedtomyparents——askhimwhen——whenIamgone。
MILLIKEN。——Whenyouaregone，Julia！Whyareyougoing？Whyshouldyougo，mylove——thatis——whyneedyougo，inthedevil’sname？
MISSP。——Because，whenyourmother——whenyourmother—in—lawcometohearthatyourchildren’sgovernesshasbeenadanceronthestage，theywillsendmeaway，andyouwillnothavethepowertoresistthem。Theyoughttosendmeaway，sir;butIhaveactedhonestlybythechildrenandtheirpoormother，andyou’llthinkofmekindlywhen——I——am——gone？
MILLIKEN。——Julia，mydearest——dear——noble——dar——thedevil！here’soldKicklebury。
EnterLadyK。，Children，andCLARENCE。
LADYK。——So，MissPrior！thisiswhatIhear，isit？Adancerinmyhouse！aserpentinmybosom——poisoning——yes，poisoningthoseblessedchildren！occasioningquarrelsbetweenmyownsonandmydearestson—in—law;flirtingwiththefootman！Whendoyouintendtoleave，madam，thehousewhichyouhavepo——poll——luted？
MISSP。——Ineednohardlanguage，LadyKicklebury:andIwillreplytonone。IhavesignifiedtoMr。Millikenmywishtoleavehishouse。
MILLIKEN。——Not，not，ifyouwillstay。[ToMissP。]
LADYK。——Stay，Horace！sheshallNEVERstayasgovernessinthishouse！
MILLIKEN。——Julia！willyoustayasmistress？Youhaveknownmeforayearalone——before，notsowell——whenthehousehadamistressthatisgone。Youknowwhatmytemperis，andthatmytastesaresimple，andmyheartnotunkind。Ihavewatchedyou，andhaveneverseenyououtoftemper，thoughyouhavebeentried。
Ihavelongthoughtyougoodandbeautiful，butIneverthoughttoaskthequestionwhichIputtoyounow:——comein，sir！[toCLARENCEatdoor]:——nowthatyouhavebeenpersecutedbythosewhooughttohaveupheldyou，andinsultedbythosewhoowedyougratitudeandrespect。Iamtiredoftheirdomination，andaswearyofaman’scowardlyimpertinence[toCLARENCE]asofawoman’sjealoustyranny。TheyhavemadewhatwasmyArabella’shomemiserablebytheiroppressionandtheirquarrels。Julia！mywife’sfriend，mychildren’sfriend！bemine，andmakemehappy！
Don’tleaveme，Julia！sayyouwon’t——sayyouwon’t——dearest——
dearestgirl！
MISSP。——Iwon’t——leave——you。