CHAPTERI。
Whentheporter’swife（sheusedtoanswerthehouse—bell），announced\"Agentleman——withalady，sir，\"Ihad，asIoftenhadinthosedays，forthewishwasfathertothethought，animmediatevisionofsitters。Sittersmyvisitorsinthiscaseprovedtobe；butnotinthesenseIshouldhavepreferred。However，therewasnothingatfirsttoindicatethattheymightnothavecomeforaportrait。Thegentleman，amanoffifty，veryhighandverystraight，withamoustacheslightlygrizzledandadarkgreywalking—coatadmirablyfitted，bothofwhichInotedprofessionally——Idon’tmeanasabarberoryetasatailor——wouldhavestruckmeasacelebrityifcelebritiesoftenwerestriking。ItwasatruthofwhichIhadforsometimebeenconsciousthatafigurewithagooddealoffrontagewas，asonemightsay，almostneverapublicinstitution。Aglanceattheladyhelpedtoremindmeofthisparadoxicallaw:shealsolookedtoodistinguishedtobea\"personality。\"Moreoveronewouldscarcelycomeacrosstwovariationstogether。
Neitherofthepairspokeimmediately——theyonlyprolongedthepreliminarygazewhichsuggestedthateachwishedtogivetheotherachance。Theywerevisiblyshy；theystoodtherelettingmetakethemin——which，asIafterwardsperceived，wasthemostpracticalthingtheycouldhavedone。Inthiswaytheirembarrassmentservedtheircause。Ihadseenpeoplepainfullyreluctanttomentionthattheydesiredanythingsogrossastoberepresentedoncanvas；butthescruplesofmynewfriendsappearedalmostinsurmountable。Yetthegentlemanmighthavesaid\"Ishouldlikeaportraitofmywife，\"andtheladymighthavesaid\"Ishouldlikeaportraitofmyhusband。\"
Perhapstheywerenothusbandandwife——thisnaturallywouldmakethemattermoredelicate。Perhapstheywishedtobedonetogether——inwhichcasetheyoughttohavebroughtathirdpersontobreakthenews。
\"WecomefromMr。Rivet，\"theladysaidatlast，withadimsmilewhichhadtheeffectofamoistspongepassedovera\"sunk\"pieceofpainting，aswellasofavagueallusiontovanishedbeauty。Shewasastallandstraight，inherdegree，ashercompanion，andwithtenyearslesstocarry。Shelookedassadasawomancouldlookwhosefacewasnotchargedwithexpression；thatishertintedovalmaskshowedfrictionasanexposedsurfaceshowsit。Thehandoftimehadplayedoverherfreely，butonlytosimplify。Shewasslimandstiff，andsowell—dressed，indarkbluecloth，withlappetsandpocketsandbuttons，thatitwasclearsheemployedthesametailorasherhusband。Thecouplehadanindefinableairofprosperousthrift——theyevidentlygotagooddealofluxuryfortheirmoney。IfIwastobeoneoftheirluxuriesitwouldbehovemetoconsidermyterms。
\"Ah，ClaudeRivetrecommendedme？\"Iinquired；andIaddedthatitwasverykindofhim，thoughIcouldreflectthat，asheonlypaintedlandscape，thiswasnotasacrifice。
Theladylookedveryhardatthegentleman，andthegentlemanlookedroundtheroom。Thenstaringattheflooramomentandstrokinghismoustache，herestedhispleasanteyesonmewiththeremark:
\"Hesaidyouweretherightone。\"
\"Itrytobe，whenpeoplewanttosit。\"
\"Yes，weshouldliketo，\"saidtheladyanxiously。
\"Doyoumeantogether？\"
Myvisitorsexchangedaglance。\"IfyoucoulddoanythingwithME，I
supposeitwouldbedouble，\"thegentlemanstammered。
\"Ohyes，there’snaturallyahigherchargefortwofiguresthanforone。\"
\"Weshouldliketomakeitpay，\"thehusbandconfessed。
\"That’sverygoodofyou，\"Ireturned，appreciatingsounwontedasympathy——forIsupposedhemeantpaytheartist。
Asenseofstrangenessseemedtodawnonthelady。\"Wemeanfortheillustrations——MrRivetsaidyoumightputonein。\"
\"Putonein——anillustration？\"Iwasequallyconfused。
\"Sketchheroff，youknow，\"saidthegentleman，colouring。
ItwasonlythenthatIunderstoodtheserviceClaudeRivethadrenderedme；hehadtoldthemthatIworkedinblackandwhite，formagazines，forstory—books，forsketchesofcontemporarylife，andconsequentlyhadfrequentemploymentformodels。Thesethingsweretrue，butitwasnotlesstrue（Imayconfessitnow——whetherbecausetheaspirationwastoleadtoeverythingortonothingIleavethereadertoguess），thatIcouldn’tgetthehonours，tosaynothingoftheemoluments，ofagreatpainterofportraitsoutofmyhead。My\"illustrations\"weremypot—boilers；Ilookedtoadifferentbranchofart（farandawaythemostinterestingithadalwaysseemedtome），toperpetuatemyfame。Therewasnoshameinlookingtoitalsotomakemyfortune；butthatfortunewasbysomuchfurtherfrombeingmadefromthemomentmyvisitorswishedtobe\"done\"fornothing。Iwasdisappointed；forinthepictorialsenseIhadimmediatelySEENthem。Ihadseizedtheirtype——IhadalreadysettledwhatIwoulddowithit。Somethingthatwouldn’tabsolutelyhavepleasedthem，Iafterwardsreflected。
\"Ah，you’re——you’re——a——？\"Ibegan，assoonasIhadmasteredmysurprise。Icouldn’tbringoutthedingyword\"models\"；itseemedtofitthecasesolittle。
\"Wehaven’thadmuchpractice，\"saidthelady。
\"We’vegottoDOsomething，andwe’vethoughtthatanartistinyourlinemightperhapsmakesomethingofus，\"herhusbandthrewoff。Hefurthermentionedthattheydidn’tknowmanyartistsandthattheyhadgonefirst，ontheoff—chance（hepaintedviewsofcourse，butsometimesputinfigures——perhapsIremembered），toMr。Rivet，whomtheyhadmetafewyearsbeforeataplaceinNorfolkwherehewassketching。
\"Weusedtosketchalittleourselves，\"theladyhinted。
\"It’sveryawkward，butweabsolutelyMUSTdosomething，\"herhusbandwenton。
\"Ofcourse，we’renotsoVERYyoung，\"sheadmitted，withawansmile。
WiththeremarkthatImightaswellknowsomethingmoreaboutthem，thehusbandhadhandedmeacardextractedfromaneatnewpocket—
book（theirappurtenanceswereallofthefreshest）andinscribedwiththewords\"MajorMonarch。\"Impressiveasthesewordsweretheydidn’tcarrymyknowledgemuchfurther；butmyvisitorpresentlyadded:\"I’veleftthearmy，andwe’vehadthemisfortunetoloseourmoney。Infactourmeansaredreadfullysmall。\"
\"It’sanawfulbore，\"saidMrs。Monarch。
Theyevidentlywishedtobediscreet——totakecarenottoswaggerbecausetheyweregentlefolks。Iperceivedtheywouldhavebeenwillingtorecognisethisassomethingofadrawback，atthesametimethatIguessedatanunderlyingsense——theirconsolationinadversity——thattheyHADtheirpoints。Theycertainlyhad；buttheseadvantagesstruckmeaspreponderantlysocial；suchforinstanceaswouldhelptomakeadrawing—roomlookwell。However，adrawing—roomwasalways，oroughttobe，apicture。
Inconsequenceofhiswife’sallusiontotheirageMajorMonarchobserved:\"Naturally，it’smoreforthefigurethatwethoughtofgoingin。Wecanstillholdourselvesup。\"OntheinstantIsawthatthefigurewasindeedtheirstrongpoint。His\"naturally\"
didn’tsoundvain，butitlightedupthequestion。\"SHEhasgotthebest，\"hecontinued，noddingathiswife，withapleasantafter—
dinnerabsenceofcircumlocution。Icouldonlyreply，asifwewereinfactsittingoverourwine，thatthisdidn’tpreventhisownfrombeingverygood；whichledhiminturntorejoin:\"Wethoughtthatifyoueverhavetodopeoplelikeus，wemightbesomethinglikeit。
SHE，particularly——foraladyinabook，youknow。\"
Iwassoamusedbythemthat，togetmoreofit，Ididmybesttotaketheirpointofview；andthoughitwasanembarrassmenttofindmyselfappraisingphysically，asiftheywereanimalsonhireorusefulblacks，apairwhomIshouldhaveexpectedtomeetonlyinoneoftherelationsinwhichcriticismistacit，IlookedatMrs。
Monarchjudiciallyenoughtobeabletoexclaim，afteramoment，withconviction:\"Ohyes，aladyinabook！\"Shewassingularlylikeabadillustration。
\"We’llstandup，ifyoulike，\"saidtheMajor；andheraisedhimselfbeforemewithareallygrandair。
Icouldtakehismeasureataglance——hewassixfeettwoandaperfectgentleman。Itwouldhavepaidanyclubinprocessofformationandinwantofastamptoengagehimatasalarytostandintheprincipalwindow。Whatstruckmeimmediatelywasthatincomingtometheyhadrathermissedtheirvocation；theycouldsurelyhavebeenturnedtobetteraccountforadvertisingpurposes。I
couldn’tofcourseseethethingindetail，butIcouldseethemmakesomeone’sfortune——Idon’tmeantheirown。Therewassomethinginthemforawaistcoat—maker，anhotel—keeperorasoap—vendor。I
couldimagine\"Wealwaysuseit\"pinnedontheirbosomswiththegreatesteffect；Ihadavisionofthepromptitudewithwhichtheywouldlaunchatabled’hote。
Mrs。Monarchsatstill，notfrompridebutfromshyness，andpresentlyherhusbandsaidtoher:\"Getupmydearandshowhowsmartyouare。\"Sheobeyed，butshehadnoneedtogetuptoshowit。Shewalkedtotheendofthestudio，andthenshecamebackblushing，withherflutteredeyesonherhusband。IwasremindedofanincidentIhadaccidentallyhadaglimpseofinParis——beingwithafriendthere，adramatistabouttoproduceaplay——whenanactresscametohimtoasktobeintrustedwithapart。Shewentthroughherpacesbeforehim，walkedupanddownasMrs。Monarchwasdoing。Mrs。
Monarchdiditquiteaswell，butIabstainedfromapplauding。Itwasveryoddtoseesuchpeopleapplyforsuchpoorpay。Shelookedasifshehadtenthousandayear。Herhusbandhadusedthewordthatdescribedher:shewas，intheLondoncurrentjargon，essentiallyandtypically\"smart。\"Herfigurewas，inthesameorderofideas，conspicuouslyandirreproachably\"good。\"Forawomanofherageherwaistwassurprisinglysmall；herelbowmoreoverhadtheorthodoxcrook。Sheheldherheadattheconventionalangle；butwhydidshecometoME？Sheoughttohavetriedonjacketsatabigshop。Ifearedmyvisitorswerenotonlydestitute，but\"artistic\"——
whichwouldbeagreatcomplication。WhenshesatdownagainI
thankedher，observingthatwhatadraughtsmanmostvaluedinhismodelwasthefacultyofkeepingquiet。
\"Oh，SHEcankeepquiet，\"saidMajorMonarch。Thenheadded，jocosely:\"I’vealwayskeptherquiet。\"
\"I’mnotanastyfidget，amI？\"Mrs。Monarchappealedtoherhusband。
Headdressedhisanswertome。\"Perhapsitisn’toutofplacetomention——becauseweoughttobequitebusiness—like，oughtn’twe？——
thatwhenImarriedhershewasknownastheBeautifulStatue。\"
\"Ohdear！\"saidMrs。Monarch，ruefully。
\"OfcourseIshouldwantacertainamountofexpression，\"Irejoined。
\"OfCOURSE！\"theybothexclaimed。
\"AndthenIsupposeyouknowthatyou’llgetawfullytired。\"
\"Oh，weNEVERgettired！\"theyeagerlycried。
\"Haveyouhadanykindofpractice？\"
Theyhesitated——theylookedateachother。\"We’vebeenphotographed，IMMENSELY，\"saidMrs。Monarch。
\"Shemeansthefellowshaveaskedus，\"addedtheMajor。
\"Isee——becauseyou’resogood—looking。\"
\"Idon’tknowwhattheythought，buttheywerealwaysafterus。\"
\"Wealwaysgotourphotographsfornothing，\"smiledMrs。Monarch。
\"Wemighthavebroughtsome，mydear，\"herhusbandremarked。
\"I’mnotsurewehaveanyleft。We’vegivenquantitiesaway，\"sheexplainedtome。
\"Withourautographsandthatsortofthing，\"saidtheMajor。
\"Aretheytobegotintheshops？\"Iinquired，asaharmlesspleasantry。
\"Oh，yes；hers——theyusedtobe。\"
\"Notnow，\"saidMrs。Monarch，withhereyesonthefloor。
CHAPTERII。
Icouldfancythe\"sortofthing\"theyputonthepresentation—copiesoftheirphotographs，andIwassuretheywroteabeautifulhand。ItwasoddhowquicklyIwassureofeverythingthatconcernedthem。Iftheywerenowsopoorastohavetoearnshillingsandpence，theyneverhadhadmuchofamargin。Theirgoodlookshadbeentheircapital，andtheyhadgood—humouredlymadethemostofthecareerthatthisresourcemarkedoutforthem。Itwasintheirfaces，theblankness，thedeepintellectualreposeofthetwentyyearsofcountry—housevisitingwhichhadgiventhempleasantintonations。I
couldseethesunnydrawing—rooms，sprinkledwithperiodicalsshedidn’tread，inwhichMrs。Monarchhadcontinuouslysat；Icouldseethewetshrubberiesinwhichshehadwalked，equippedtoadmirationforeitherexercise。IcouldseetherichcoverstheMajorhadhelpedtoshootandthewonderfulgarmentsinwhich，lateatnight，herepairedtothesmoking—roomtotalkaboutthem。Icouldimaginetheirleggingsandwaterproofs，theirknowingtweedsandrugs，theirrollsofsticksandcasesoftackleandneatumbrellas；andIcouldevoketheexactappearanceoftheirservantsandthecompactvarietyoftheirluggageontheplatformsofcountrystations。
Theygavesmalltips，buttheywereliked；theydidn’tdoanythingthemselves，buttheywerewelcome。Theylookedsowelleverywhere；
theygratifiedthegeneralrelishforstature，complexionand\"form。\"
Theyknewitwithoutfatuityorvulgarity，andtheyrespectedthemselvesinconsequence。Theywerenotsuperficial；theywerethoroughandkeptthemselvesup——ithadbeentheirline。Peoplewithsuchatasteforactivityhadtohavesomeline。Icouldfeelhow，eveninadullhouse，theycouldhavebeencounteduponforcheerfulness。Atpresentsomethinghadhappened——itdidn’tmatterwhat，theirlittleincomehadgrownless，ithadgrownleast——andtheyhadtodosomethingforpocket—money。Theirfriendslikedthem，butdidn’tliketosupportthem。Therewassomethingaboutthemthatrepresentedcredit——theirclothes，theirmanners，theirtype；butifcreditisalargeemptypocketinwhichanoccasionalchinkreverberates，thechinkatleastmustbeaudible。Whattheywantedofmewastohelptomakeitso。Fortunatelytheyhadnochildren——I
soondivinedthat。Theywouldalsoperhapswishourrelationstobekeptsecret:thiswaswhyitwas\"forthefigure\"——thereproductionofthefacewouldbetraythem。
Ilikedthem——theyweresosimple；andIhadnoobjectiontothemiftheywouldsuit。But，somehow，withalltheirperfectionsIdidn’teasilybelieveinthem。Afteralltheywereamateurs，andtherulingpassionofmylifewasthedetestationoftheamateur。Combinedwiththiswasanotherperversity——aninnatepreferencefortherepresentedsubjectovertherealone:thedefectoftherealonewassoapttobealackofrepresentation。Ilikedthingsthatappeared；thenonewassure。WhethertheyWEREornotwasasubordinateandalmostalwaysaprofitlessquestion。Therewereotherconsiderations，thefirstofwhichwasthatIalreadyhadtwoorthreepeopleinuse，notablyayoungpersonwithbigfeet，inalpaca，fromKilburn，whoforacoupleofyearshadcometomeregularlyformyillustrationsandwithwhomIwasstill——perhapsignobly——satisfied。Ifranklyexplainedtomyvisitorshowthecasestood；buttheyhadtakenmoreprecautionsthanIsupposed。Theyhadreasonedouttheiropportunity，forClaudeRivethadtoldthemoftheprojectededitiondeluxeofoneofthewritersofourday——therarestofthenovelists——who，longneglectedbythemultitudinousvulgaranddearlyprizedbytheattentive（needImentionPhilipVincent？）hadhadthehappyfortuneofseeing，lateinlife，thedawnandthenthefulllightofahighercriticism——anestimateinwhich，onthepartofthepublic，therewassomethingreallyofexpiation。Theeditioninquestion，plannedbyapublisheroftaste，waspracticallyanactofhighreparation；thewood—cutswithwhichitwastobeenrichedwerethehomageofEnglisharttooneofthemostindependentrepresentativesofEnglishletters。MajorandMrs。MonarchconfessedtomethattheyhadhopedImightbeabletoworkTHEMintomyshareoftheenterprise。TheyknewIwastodothefirstofthebooks，\"RutlandRamsay，\"butIhadtomakecleartothemthatmyparticipationintherestoftheaffair——thisfirstbookwastobeatest——wastodependonthesatisfactionIshouldgive。Ifthisshouldbelimitedmyemployerswoulddropmewithoutascruple。Itwasthereforeacrisisforme，andnaturallyIwasmakingspecialpreparations，lookingaboutfornewpeople，iftheyshouldbenecessary，andsecuringthebesttypes。IadmittedhoweverthatI
shouldliketosettledowntotwoorthreegoodmodelswhowoulddoforeverything。
\"Shouldwehaveoftento——a——putonspecialclothes？\"Mrs。Monarchtimidlydemanded。
\"Dear，yes——that’shalfthebusiness。\"
\"Andshouldwebeexpectedtosupplyourowncostumes？\"
\"Oh，no；I’vegotalotofthings。Apainter’smodelsputon——orputoff——anythinghelikes。\"
\"Anddoyoumean——a——thesame？\"
\"Thesame？\"
Mrs。Monarchlookedatherhusbandagain。
\"Oh，shewasjustwondering，\"heexplained，\"ifthecostumesareinGENERALuse。\"Ihadtoconfessthattheywere，andImentionedfurtherthatsomeofthem（Ihadalotofgenuine，greasylast—
centurythings），hadservedtheirtime，ahundredyearsago，onliving，world—stainedmenandwomen。\"We’llputonanythingthatfits，\"saidtheMajor。
\"Oh，Iarrangethat——theyfitinthepictures。\"
\"I’mafraidIshoulddobetterforthemodernbooks。Iwouldcomeasyoulike，\"saidMrs。Monarch。
\"Shehasgotalotofclothesathome:theymightdoforcontemporarylife，\"herhusbandcontinued。
\"Oh，Icanfancyscenesinwhichyou’dbequitenatural。\"AndindeedIcouldseetheslipshodrearrangementsofstaleproperties——thestoriesItriedtoproducepicturesforwithouttheexasperationofreadingthem——whosesandytractsthegoodladymighthelptopeople。
ButIhadtoreturntothefactthatforthissortofwork——thedailymechanicalgrind——Iwasalreadyequipped；thepeopleIwasworkingwithwerefullyadequate。
\"WeonlythoughtwemightbemorelikeSOMEcharacters，\"saidMrs。
Monarchmildly，gettingup。
Herhusbandalsorose；hestoodlookingatmewithadimwistfulnessthatwastouchinginsofineaman。\"Wouldn’titberatherapullsometimestohave——a——tohave——？\"Hehungfire；hewantedmetohelphimbyphrasingwhathemeant。ButIcouldn’t——Ididn’tknow。Sohebroughtitout，awkwardly:\"TheREALthing；agentleman，youknow，oralady。\"Iwasquitereadytogiveageneralassent——Iadmittedthattherewasagreatdealinthat。ThisencouragedMajorMonarchtosay，followinguphisappealwithanunactedgulp:\"It’sawfullyhard——we’vetriedeverything。\"Thegulpwascommunicative；itprovedtoomuchforhiswife。BeforeIknewitMrs。Monarchhaddroppedagainuponadivanandburstintotears。Herhusbandsatdownbesideher，holdingoneofherhands；whereuponshequicklydriedhereyeswiththeother，whileIfeltembarrassedasshelookedupatme。
\"Thereisn’taconfoundedjobIhaven’tappliedfor——waitedfor——
prayedfor。Youcanfancywe’dbeprettybadfirst。Secretaryshipsandthatsortofthing？Youmightaswellaskforapeerage。I’dbeANYTHING——I’mstrong；amessengeroracoalheaver。I’dputonagold—lacedcapandopencarriage—doorsinfrontofthehaberdasher’s；
I’dhangaboutastation，tocarryportmanteaus；I’dbeapostman。
Buttheywon’tLOOKatyou；therearethousands，asgoodasyourself，alreadyontheground。GENTLEMEN，poorbeggars，whohavedrunktheirwine，whohavekepttheirhunters！\"
IwasasreassuringasIknewhowtobe，andmyvisitorswerepresentlyontheirfeetagainwhile，fortheexperiment，weagreedonanhour。WewerediscussingitwhenthedooropenedandMissChurmcameinwithawetumbrella。MissChurmhadtotaketheomnibustoMaidaValeandthenwalkhalf—a—mile。Shelookedatrifleblowsyandslightlysplashed。Iscarcelyeversawhercomeinwithoutthinkingafreshhowodditwasthat，beingsolittleinherself，sheshouldyetbesomuchinothers。ShewasameagrelittleMissChurm，butshewasanampleheroineofromance。Shewasonlyafreckledcockney，butshecouldrepresenteverything，fromafineladytoashepherdess；shehadthefaculty，asshemighthavehadafinevoiceorlonghair。
Shecouldn’tspell，andshelovedbeer，butshehadtwoorthree\"points，\"andpractice，andaknack，andmother—wit，andakindofwhimsicalsensibility，andaloveofthetheatre，andsevensisters，andnotanounceofrespect，especiallyfortheH。Thefirstthingmyvisitorssawwasthatherumbrellawaswet，andintheirspotlessperfectiontheyvisiblywincedatit。Therainhadcomeonsincetheirarrival。
\"I’mallinasoak；thereWASamessofpeopleinthe’bus。Iwishyoulivednearastytion，\"saidMissChurm。Irequestedhertogetreadyasquicklyaspossible，andshepassedintotheroominwhichshealwayschangedherdress。Butbeforegoingoutsheaskedmewhatshewastogetintothistime。
\"It’stheRussianprincess，don’tyouknow？\"Ianswered；\"theonewiththe’goldeneyes，’inblackvelvet，forthelongthingintheCheapside。\"
\"Goldeneyes？ISAY！\"criedMissChurm，whilemycompanionswatchedherwithintensityasshewithdrew。Shealwaysarrangedherself，whenshewaslate，beforeIcouldturnround；andIkeptmyvisitorsalittle，onpurpose，sothattheymightgetanidea，fromseeingher，whatwouldbeexpectedofthemselves。Imentionedthatshewasquitemynotionofanexcellentmodel——shewasreallyveryclever。
\"DoyouthinkshelookslikeaRussianprincess？\"MajorMonarchasked，withlurkingalarm。
\"WhenImakeher，yes。\"
\"Oh，ifyouhavetoMAKEher——！\"hereasoned，acutely。
\"That’sthemostyoucanask。Therearesomanythatarenotmakeable。\"
\"Wellnow，HERE’Salady\"——andwithapersuasivesmilehepassedhisarmintohiswife’s——\"who’salreadymade！\"
\"Oh，I’mnotaRussianprincess，\"Mrs。Monarchprotested，alittlecoldly。Icouldseethatshehadknownsomeanddidn’tlikethem。
There，immediately，wasacomplicationofakindthatIneverhadtofearwithMissChurm。
Thisyoungladycamebackinblackvelvet——thegownwasratherrustyandverylowonherleanshoulders——andwithaJapanesefaninherredhands。IremindedherthatinthesceneIwasdoingshehadtolookoversomeone’shead。\"Iforgetwhoseitis；butitdoesn’tmatter。Justlookoverahead。\"
\"I’dratherlookoverastove，\"saidMissChurm；andshetookherstationnearthefire。Shefellintoposition，settledherselfintoatallattitude，gaveacertainbackwardinclinationtoherheadandacertainforwarddrooptoherfan，andlooked，atleasttomyprejudicedsense，distinguishedandcharming，foreignanddangerous。
Weleftherlookingso，whileIwentdown—stairswithMajorandMrs。
Monarch。
\"IthinkIcouldcomeaboutasnearitasthat，\"saidMrs。Monarch。
\"Oh，youthinkshe’sshabby，butyoumustallowforthealchemyofart。\"
However，theywentoffwithanevidentincreaseofcomfort，foundedontheirdemonstrableadvantageinbeingtherealthing。IcouldfancythemshudderingoverMissChurm。ShewasverydrollaboutthemwhenIwentback，forItoldherwhattheywanted。
\"Well，ifSHEcansitI’lltyketobookkeeping，\"saidmymodel。
\"She’sverylady—like，\"Ireplied，asaninnocentformofaggravation。
\"SomuchtheworseforYOU。Thatmeansshecan’tturnround。\"
\"She’lldoforthefashionablenovels。\"
\"Ohyes，she’llDOforthem！\"mymodelhumorouslydeclared。\"Ain’ttheyhadenoughwithouther？\"IhadoftensociablydenouncedthemtoMissChurm。
CHAPTERIII。
ItwasfortheelucidationofamysteryinoneoftheseworksthatI
firsttriedMrs。Monarch。Herhusbandcamewithher，tobeusefulifnecessary——itwassufficientlyclearthatasageneralthinghewouldprefertocomewithher。AtfirstIwonderedifthiswerefor\"propriety’s\"sake——ifheweregoingtobejealousandmeddling。Theideawastootiresome，andifithadbeenconfirmeditwouldspeedilyhavebroughtouracquaintancetoaclose。ButIsoonsawtherewasnothinginitandthatifheaccompaniedMrs。Monarchitwas（inadditiontothechanceofbeingwanted），simplybecausehehadnothingelsetodo。Whenshewasawayfromhimhisoccupationwasgone——sheneverHADbeenawayfromhim。Ijudged，rightly，thatintheirawkwardsituationtheircloseunionwastheirmaincomfortandthatthisunionhadnoweakspot。Itwasarealmarriage，anencouragementtothehesitating，anutforpessimiststocrack。
Theiraddresswashumble（Irememberafterwardsthinkingithadbeentheonlythingaboutthemthatwasreallyprofessional），andIcouldfancythelamentablelodgingsinwhichtheMajorwouldhavebeenleftalone。Hecouldbearthemwithhiswife——hecouldn’tbearthemwithouther。
Hehadtoomuchtacttotryandmakehimselfagreeablewhenhecouldn’tbeuseful；sohesimplysatandwaited，whenIwastooabsorbedinmyworktotalk。ButIlikedtomakehimtalk——itmademywork，whenitdidn’tinterruptit，lesssordid，lessspecial。Tolistentohimwastocombinetheexcitementofgoingoutwiththeeconomyofstayingathome。Therewasonlyonehindrance:thatI
seemednottoknowanyofthepeopleheandhiswifehadknown。I
thinkhewonderedextremely，duringthetermofourintercourse，whomthedeuceIDIDknow。Hehadn’tastraysixpenceofanideatofumblefor；sowedidn’tspinitveryfine——weconfinedourselvestoquestionsofleatherandevenofliquor（saddlersandbreeches—makersandhowtogetgoodclaretcheap），andmatterslike\"goodtrains\"andthehabitsofsmallgame。Hisloreontheselastsubjectswasastonishing，hemanagedtointerweavethestation—masterwiththeornithologist。Whenhecouldn’ttalkaboutgreaterthingshecouldtalkcheerfullyaboutsmaller，andsinceIcouldn’taccompanyhimintoreminiscencesofthefashionableworldhecouldlowertheconversationwithoutavisibleefforttomylevel。
Soearnestadesiretopleasewastouchinginamanwhocouldsoeasilyhaveknockedonedown。Helookedafterthefireandhadanopiniononthedraughtofthestove，withoutmyaskinghim，andI
couldseethathethoughtmanyofmyarrangementsnothalfcleverenough。IremembertellinghimthatifIwereonlyrichIwouldofferhimasalarytocomeandteachmehowtolive。Sometimeshegavearandomsigh，ofwhichtheessencewas:\"GivemeevensuchabareoldbarrackasTHIS，andI’ddosomethingwithit！\"WhenI
wantedtousehimhecamealone；whichwasanillustrationofthesuperiorcourageofwomen。Hiswifecouldbearhersolitarysecondfloor，andshewasingeneralmorediscreet；showingbyvarioussmallreservesthatshewasalivetotheproprietyofkeepingourrelationsmarkedlyprofessional——notlettingthemslideintosociability。ShewishedittoremainclearthatsheandtheMajorwereemployed，notcultivated，andifsheapprovedofmeasasuperior，whocouldbekeptinhisplace，sheneverthoughtmequitegoodenoughforanequal。
Shesatwithgreatintensity，givingthewholeofhermindtoit，andwascapableofremainingforanhouralmostasmotionlessasifshewerebeforeaphotographer’slens。Icouldseeshehadbeenphotographedoften，butsomehowtheveryhabitthatmadehergoodforthatpurposeunfittedherformine。AtfirstIwasextremelypleasedwithherlady—likeair，anditwasasatisfaction，oncomingtofollowherlines，toseehowgoodtheywereandhowfartheycouldleadthepencil。ButafterafewtimesIbegantofindhertooinsurmountablystiff；dowhatIwouldwithitmydrawinglookedlikeaphotographoracopyofaphotograph。Herfigurehadnovarietyofexpression——sheherselfhadnosenseofvariety。Youmaysaythatthiswasmybusiness，wasonlyaquestionofplacingher。Iplacedherineveryconceivableposition，butshemanagedtoobliteratetheirdifferences。Shewasalwaysaladycertainly，andintothebargainwasalwaysthesamelady。Shewastherealthing，butalwaysthesamething。ThereweremomentswhenIwasoppressedbytheserenityofherconfidencethatsheWAStherealthing。Allherdealingswithmeandallherhusband’swereanimplicationthatthiswasluckyforME。MeanwhileIfoundmyselftryingtoinventtypesthatapproachedherown，insteadofmakingherowntransformitself——
inthecleverwaythatwasnotimpossible，forinstance，topoorMissChurm。ArrangeasIwouldandtaketheprecautionsIwould，shealways，inmypictures，cameouttootall——landingmeinthedilemmaofhavingrepresentedafascinatingwomanassevenfeethigh，which，outofrespectperhapstomyownverymuchscantierinches，wasfarfrommyideaofsuchapersonage。