第2章

Couldyouletmelookatit?\"

ShelaidherfrozencoldhanduponmineandshelookedthroughmewhenIwasforcedtolookupfrommyneedlework,butIhadtakentheprecautionofhavingonmyspectacles。

\"Ihavenoreceipt\"saysshe。

\"Ah!Thenhehasgotit\"Isaysinacarelessway。\"It’sofnogreatconsequence。Areceipt’sareceipt。\"

FromthattimeshealwayshadholdofmyhandwhenIcouldspareitwhichwasgenerallyonlywhenIreadtoher,forofcoursesheandmehadourbitsofneedleworktoplodatandneitherofuswasveryhandyatthoselittlethings,thoughIamstillratherproudofmyshareinthemtooconsidering。AndthoughshetooktoallIreadtoher,IusedtofancythatnexttowhatwastaughtupontheMountshetookmostofalltoHisgentlecompassionforuspoorwomenandtoHisyounglifeandtohowHismotherwasproudofHimandtreasuredHissayingsinherheart。Shehadagratefullookinhereyesthatneverneverneverwillbeoutofmineuntiltheyareclosedinmylastsleep,andwhenIchancedtolookatherwithoutthinkingofitIwouldalwaysmeetthatlook,andshewouldoftenoffermehertremblingliptokiss,muchmorelikealittleaffectionatehalfbroken—heartedchildthaneverIcanimagineanygrownperson。

OnetimethetremblingofthispoorlipwassostrongandhertearsrandownsofastthatIthoughtshewasgoingtotellmeallherwoe,soItakeshertwohandsinmineandIsays:

\"Nomydearnotnow,youhadbestnottrytodoitnow。Waitforbettertimeswhenyouhavegotoverthisandarestrong,andthenyoushalltellmewhateveryouwill。Shallitbeagreed?\"

Withourhandsstilljoinedshenoddedherheadmanytimes,andsheliftedmyhandsandputthemtoherlipsandtoherbosom。\"Onlyonewordnowmydear\"Isays。\"Isthereanyone?\"

Shelookedinquiringly\"Anyone?\"

\"ThatIcangoto?\"

Sheshookherhead。

\"NoonethatIcanbring?\"

Sheshookherhead。

\"NooneiswantedbyMEmydear。Nowthatmaybeconsideredpastandgone。\"

Notmuchmorethanaweekafterwards——forthiswasfaroninthetimeofourbeingsotogether——Iwasbendingoveratherbedsidewithmyeardowntoherlips,byturnslisteningforherbreathandlookingforasignoflifeinherface。Atlastitcameinasolemnway——notinaflashbutlikeakindofpalefaintlightbroughtveryslowtotheface。

Shesaidsomethingtomethathadnosoundinit,butIsawsheaskedme:

\"Isthisdeath?\"

AndIsays:

\"Poordearpoordear,Ithinkitis。\"

Knowingsomehowthatshewantedmetomoveherweakrighthand,I

tookitandlaiditonherbreastandthenfoldedherotherhanduponit,andsheprayedagoodgoodprayerandIjoinedinitpoormethoughtherewerenowordsspoke。ThenIbroughtthebabyinitswrappersfromwhereitlay,andIsays:

\"Mydearthisissenttoachildlessoldwoman。Thisisformetotakecareof。\"

Thetremblinglipwasputuptowardsmyfaceforthelasttime,andIdearlykissedit。

\"Yesmydear,\"Isays。\"PleaseGod!MeandtheMajor。\"

Idon’tknowhowtotellitright,butIsawhersoulbrightenandleapup,andgetfreeandflyawayinthegratefullook。

***

SothisisthewhyandwhereforeofitscomingtopassmydearthatwecalledhimJemmy,beingaftertheMajorhisowngodfatherwithLirriperforasurnamebeingaftermyself,andneverwasadearchildsuchabrighteningthinginaLodgingsorsuchaplaymatetohisgrandmotherasJemmytothishouseandme,andalwaysgoodandmindingwhathewastold(uponthewhole)andsoothingforthetemperandmakingeverythingpleasanterexceptwhenhegrewoldenoughtodrophiscapdownWozenham’sAiryandtheywouldn’thandituptohim,andbeingworkedintoastateIputonmybestbonnetandglovesandparasolwiththechildinmyhandandIsays\"MissWozenhamIlittlethoughtevertohaveenteredyourhousebutunlessmygrandson’scapisinstantlyrestored,thelawsofthiscountryregulatingthepropertyoftheSubjectshallatlengthdecidebetwixtyourselfandme,costwhatitmay。\"WithasneeruponherfacewhichdidstrikemeImustsayasbeingexpressiveoftwokeysbutitmayhavebeenamistakeandifthereisanydoubtletMissWozenhamhavethefullbenefitofitasisbutright,sherangthebellandshesays\"Jane,isthereastreet—child’soldcapdownourAiry?\"Isays\"MissWozenhambeforeyourhousemaidanswersthatquestionyoumustallowmetoinformyoutoyourfacethatmygrandsonisNOTastreet—childandisNOTinthehabitofwearingoldcaps。Infact\"Isays\"MissWozenhamIamfarfromsurethatmygrandson’scapmaynotbenewerthanyourown\"whichwasperfectlysavageinme,herlacebeingthecommonestmachine—makewashedandtornbesides,butIhadbeenputintoastatetobeginwithfomentedbyimpertinence。MissWozenhamsaysredintheface\"Janeyouheardmyquestion,isthereanychild’scapdownourAiry?\"\"YesMa’am\"

saysJane,\"IthinkIdidseesomesuchrubbisha—lyingthere。\"

\"Then\"saysMissWozenham\"letthesevisitorsout,andthenthrowupthatworthlessarticleoutofmypremises。\"ButherethechildwhohadbeenstaringatMissWozenhamwithallhiseyesandmore,frownsdownhislittleeyebrowspursesuphislittlemouthputshischubbylegsfarapartturnshislittledimpledfistsroundandroundslowlyoveroneanotherlikealittlecoffee—mill,andsaystoher\"OoimpdenttomiGran,metutoorhi!\"\"O!\"saysMissWozenhamlookingdownscornfullyattheMite\"thisisnotastreet—childisitnot!

Really!\"IburstsoutlaughingandIsays\"MissWozenhamifthisain’taprettysighttoyouIdon’tenvyyourfeelingsandIwishyougood—day。JemmycomealongwithGran。\"AndIwasstillinthebestofhumoursthoughhiscapcameflyingupintothestreetasifithadbeenjustturnedonoutofthewater—plug,andIwenthomelaughingalltheway,allowingtothatdearboy。

ThemilesandmilesthatmeandtheMajorhavetravelledwithJemmyintheduskbetweenthelightsarenottobecalculated,Jemmydrivingonthecoach—boxwhichistheMajor’sbrass—boundwritingdeskonthetable,meinsideintheeasy—chairandtheMajorGuardupbehindwithabrown—paperhorndoingitreallywonderful。IdoassureyoumydearthatsometimeswhenIhavetakenafewwinksinmyplaceinsidethecoachandhavecomehalfawakebytheflashinglightofthefireandhaveheardthatpreciouspetdrivingandtheMajorblowingupbehindtohavethechangeofhorsesreadywhenwegottotheInn,IhavehalfbelievedwewereontheoldNorthRoadthatmypoorLirriperknewsowell。ThentoseethatchildandtheMajorbothwrappedupgettingdowntowarmtheirfeetandgoingstampingaboutandhavingglassesofaleoutofthepapermatchboxesonthechimney—pieceistoseetheMajorenjoyingitfullyasmuchasthechildIamverysure,andit’sequaltoanyplaywhenCoacheeopensthecoach—doortolookinatmeinsideandsay\"Wery’pastthat’tage。——’Prightenedoldlady?\"

ButwhatmyinexpressiblefeelingswerewhenwelostthatchildcanonlybecomparedtotheMajor’swhichwerenotashadebetter,throughhisstrayingoutatfiveyearsoldandeleveno’clockintheforenoonandneverheardofbywordorsignordeedtillhalf—pastnineatnight,whentheMajorhadgonetotheEditoroftheTimesnewspapertoputinanadvertisement,whichcameoutnextdayfour—

and—twentyhoursafterhewasfound,andwhichImeanalwayscarefullytokeepinmylavenderdrawerasthefirstprintedaccountofhim。Themorethedaygoton,themoreIgotdistractedandtheMajortooandbothofusmadeworsebythecomposedwaysofthepolicethoughverycivilandobligingandwhatImustcalltheirobstinacyinnotentertainingtheideathathewasstolen。\"WemostlyfindMum\"saysthesergeantwhocameroundtocomfortme,whichhedidn’tatallandhehadbeenoneoftheprivateconstablesinCaroline’stimetowhichhereferredinhisopeningwordswhenhesaid\"Don’tgivewaytouneasinessinyourmindMum,it’llallcomeasrightasmynosedidwhenIgotthesamebarkedbythatyoungwomaninyoursecondfloor\"——saysthissergeant\"wemostlyfindMumaspeopleain’tover—anxioustohavewhatImaycallsecond—handchildren。YOU’LLgethimbackMum。\"\"Obutmydeargoodsir\"I

saysclaspingmyhandsandwringingthemandclaspingthemagain\"heissuchanuncommonchild!\"\"YesMum\"saysthesergeant,\"wemostlyfindthattooMum。Thequestioniswhathisclotheswereworth。\"

\"Hisclothes\"Isays\"werenotworthmuchsirforhehadonlygothisplaying—dresson,butthedearchild!——\"\"AllrightMum\"saysthesergeant。\"You’llgethimbackMum。Andevenifhe’dhadhisbestclotheson,itwouldn’tcometoworsethanhisbeingfoundwrappedupinacabbage—leaf,ashiveringinalane。\"Hiswordspiercedmyheartlikedaggersanddaggers,andmeandtheMajorraninandoutlikewildthingsalldaylongtilltheMajorreturningfromhisinterviewwiththeEditoroftheTimesatnightrushesintomylittleroomhystericalandsqueezesmyhandandwipeshiseyesandsays\"Joyjoy——officerinplainclothescameuponthestepsasIwaslettingmyselfin——composeyourfeelings——Jemmy’sfound。\"

ConsequentlyIfaintedawayandwhenIcameto,embracedthelegsoftheofficerinplainclotheswhoseemedtobetakingakindofaquietinventoryinhismindofthepropertyinmylittleroomwithbrownwhiskers,andIsays\"BlessingsonyousirwhereistheDarling!\"andhesays\"InKenningtonStationHouse。\"IwasdroppingathisfeetStoneattheimageofthatInnocenceincellswithmurdererswhenheadds\"HefollowedtheMonkey。\"Isaysdeemingitslanglanguage\"OsirexplainforalovinggrandmotherwhatMonkey!\"

Hesays\"Himinthespangledcapwiththestrapunderthechin,aswon’tkeepon——himassweepsthecrossingsonaroundtableanddon’twanttodrawhissabremorethanhecanhelp。\"ThenI

understooditallandmostthankfullythankedhim,andmeandtheMajorandhimdroveovertoKenningtonandtherewefoundourboylyingquitecomfortablebeforeablazingfirehavingsweetlyplayedhimselftosleepuponasmallaccordionnothinglikesobigasaflat—ironwhichtheyhadbeensokindastolendhimforthepurposeandwhichitappearedhadbeenstoppeduponaveryyoungperson。

MydearthesystemuponwhichtheMajorcommencedandasImaysayperfectedJemmy’slearningwhenhewassosmallthatifthedearwasontheothersideofthetableyouhadtolookunderitinsteadofoverittoseehimwithhismother’sownbrighthairinbeautifulcurls,isathingthatoughttobeknowntotheThroneandLordsandCommonsandthenmightobtainsomepromotionfortheMajorwhichhewelldeservesandwouldbenonetheworsefor(speakingbetweenfriends)L。S。D。—ically。WhentheMajorfirstundertookhislearninghesaystome:

\"I’mgoingMadam,\"hesays\"tomakeourchildaCalculatingBoy。

\"Major,\"Isays,\"youterrifymeandmaydothepetapermanentinjuryyouwouldneverforgiveyourself。\"

\"Madam,\"saystheMajor,\"nexttomyregretthatwhenIhadmyboot—

spongeinmyhand,Ididn’tchokethatscoundrelwithit——onthespot——\"

\"There!ForGracious’sake,\"Iinterrupts,\"lethisconsciencefindhimwithoutsponges。\"

\"——Isaynexttothatregret,Madam,\"saystheMajor\"wouldbetheregretwithwhichmybreast,\"whichhetapped,\"wouldbesurchargedifthisfinemindwasnotearlycultivated。ButmarkmeMadam,\"

saystheMajorholdinguphisforefinger\"cultivatedonaprinciplethatwillmakeitadelight。\"

\"Major\"Isays\"IwillbecandidwithyouandtellyouopenlythatifeverIfindthedearchildfalloffinhisappetiteIshallknowitishiscalculationsandshallputastoptothemattwominutes’

notice。OrifIfindthemmountingtohishead\"Isays,\"orstrikinganywayscoldtohisstomachorleadingtoanythingapproachingflabbinessinhislegs,theresultwillbethesame,butMajoryouareaclevermanandhaveseenmuchandyoulovethechildandarehisowngodfather,andifyoufeelaconfidenceintryingtry。\"

\"SpokenMadam\"saystheMajor\"likeEmmaLirriper。AllIhavetoask,Madam,isthatyouwillleavemygodsonandmyselftomakeaweekortwo’spreparationsforsurprisingyou,andthatyouwillgivemeleavetohaveupanddownanysmallarticlesnotactuallyinusethatImayrequirefromthekitchen。\"

\"FromthekitchenMajor?\"Isayshalffeelingasifhehadamindtocookthechild。

\"Fromthekitchen\"saystheMajor,andsmilesandswells,andatthesametimelookstaller。

SoIpassedmywordandtheMajorandthedearboywereshutuptogetherforhalfanhouratatimethroughacertainwhile,andnevercouldIhearanythinggoingonbetwixtthembuttalkingandlaughingandJemmyclappinghishandsandscreamingoutnumbers,soIsaystomyself\"ithasnotharmedhimyet\"norcouldIonexaminingthedearfindanysignsofitanywhereabouthimwhichwaslikewiseagreatrelief。AtlastonedayJemmybringsmeacardinjokeintheMajor’sneatwriting\"TheMessrs。JemmyJackman\"forwehadgivenhimtheMajor’sothernametoo\"requestthehonourofMrs。

Lirriper’scompanyattheJackmanInstitutioninthefrontparlourthiseveningatfive,militarytime,towitnessafewslightfeatsofelementaryarithmetic。\"Andifyou’llbelievemethereinthefrontparlouratfivepunctualtothemomentwastheMajorbehindthePembroketablewithbothleavesupandalotofthingsfromthekitchentidilysetoutonoldnewspapersspreadatopofit,andtherewastheMitestooduponachairwithhisrosycheeksflushingandhiseyessparklingclustersofdiamonds。

\"NowGran\"sayshe,\"ootitdownanddon’tootouchlerpeople\"——forhesawwitheveryoneofthosediamondsofhisthatIwasgoingtogivehimasqueeze。

\"Verywellsir\"Isays\"IamobedientinthisgoodcompanyIamsure。\"AndIsitsdownintheeasy—chairthatwasputforme,shakingmysides。

ButpicturemyadmirationwhentheMajorgoingonalmostasquickasifhewasconjuringsetsoutallthearticleshenames,andsays\"Threesaucepans,anItalianiron,ahand—bell,atoasting—fork,anutmeg—grater,fourpotlids,aspice—box,twoegg—cups,andachopping—board——howmany?\"andwhenthatMiteinstantlycries\"Tifteen,tutdowntiveandcarryler’toppin—board\"andthenclapshishandsdrawsuphislegsanddancesonhischair。

MydearwiththesameastonishingeaseandcorrectnesshimandtheMajoraddedupthetableschairsandsofy,thepictersfendersandfire—ironstheirownselvesmeandthecatandtheeyesinMissWozenham’shead,andwheneverthesumwasdoneYoungRosesandDiamondsclapshishandsanddrawsuphislegsanddancesonhischair。

TheprideoftheMajor!(\"HERE’SamindMa’am!\"hesaystomebehindhishand。)

Thenhesaysaloud,\"Wenowcometothenextelementaryrule,——whichiscalled——\"

\"Umtraction!\"criesJemmy。

\"Right,\"saystheMajor。\"Wehavehereatoasting—fork,apotatoinitsnaturalstate,twopotlids,oneegg—cup,awoodenspoon,andtwoskewers,fromwhichitisnecessaryforcommercialpurposestosubtractasprat—gridiron,asmallpickle—jar,twolemons,onepepper—castor,ablackbeetle—trap,andaknobofthedresser—drawer—

—whatremains?\"

\"Toatin—fork!\"criesJemmy。

\"Innumbershowmany?\"saystheMajor。

\"One!\"criesJemmy。

(\"HERE’Saboy,Ma’am!\"saystheMajortomebehindhishand。)ThentheMajorgoeson:

\"Wenowapproachthenextelementaryrule,——whichisentitled——\"

\"Tickleication\"criesJemmy。

\"Correct\"saystheMajor。

Butmydeartorelatetoyouindetailthewayinwhichtheymultipliedfourteensticksoffirewoodbytwobitsofgingerandalardingneedle,ordividedprettywelleverythingelsetherewasonthetablebytheheateroftheItalianironandachambercandlestick,andgotalemonover,wouldmakemyheadspinroundandroundandroundasitdidatthetime。SoIsays\"ifyou’llexcusemyaddressingthechairProfessorJackmanIthinktheperiodofthelecturehasnowarrivedwhenitbecomesnecessarythatIshouldtakeagoodhugofthisyoungscholar。\"UponwhichJemmycallsoutfromhisstationonthechair,\"Granooopenoorarmsandme’llmakea’pringinto’em。\"SoIopenedmyarmstohimasIhadopenedmysorrowfulheartwhenhispooryoungmotherlayadying,andhehadhisjumpandwehadagoodlonghugtogetherandtheMajorprouderthananypeacocksaystomebehindhishand,\"YouneednotlethimknowitMadam\"(whichIcertainlyneednotfortheMajorwasquiteaudible)\"butheISaboy!\"

InthiswayJemmygrewandgrewandwenttoday—schoolandcontinuedundertheMajortoo,andinsummerwewereashappyasthedayswerelong,andinwinterwewereashappyasthedayswereshortandthereseemedtorestaBlessingontheLodgingsfortheyasgoodasLetthemselvesandwouldhavedoneitiftherehadbeentwicetheaccommodation,whensoreandhardagainstmywillIonedaysaystotheMajor。

\"MajoryouknowwhatIamgoingtobreaktoyou。Ourboymustgotoboarding—school。\"

ItwasasadsighttoseetheMajor’scountenancedrop,andIpitiedthegoodsoulwithallmyheart。

\"YesMajor\"Isays,\"thoughheisaspopularwiththeLodgersasyouareyourselfandthoughheistoyouandmewhatonlyyouandmeknow,stillitisinthecourseofthingsandLifeismadeofpartingsandwemustpartwithourPet。\"

BoldasIspoke,IsawtwoMajorsandhalf—a—dozenfireplaces,andwhenthepoorMajorputoneofhisneatbright—varnishedbootsuponthefenderandhiselbowonhiskneeandhisheaduponhishandandrockedhimselfalittletoandfro,Iwasdreadfullycutup。

\"But\"saysIclearingmythroat\"youhavesowellpreparedhimMajor——hehashadsuchaTutorinyou——thathewillhavenoneofthefirstdrudgerytogothrough。Andheissocleverbesidesthathe’llsoonmakehiswaytothefrontrank。\"

\"Heisaboy\"saystheMajor——havingsniffed——\"thathasnothislikeonthefaceoftheearth。\"

\"TrueasyousayMajor,anditisnotforusmerelyforourownsakestodoanythingtokeephimbackfrombeingacreditandanornamentwhereverhegoesandperhapsevenrisingtobeagreatman,isitMajor?Hewillhaveallmylittlesavingswhenmyworkisdone(beingalltheworldtome)andwemusttrytomakehimawisemanandagoodman,mustn’tweMajor?\"

\"Madam\"saystheMajorrising\"JemmyJackmanisbecominganolderfilethanIwasawareof,andyouputhimtoshame。YouarethoroughlyrightMadam。Youaresimplyandundeniablyright。——Andifyou’llexcuseme,I’lltakeawalk。\"

SotheMajorbeinggoneoutandJemmybeingathome,IgotthechildintomylittleroomhereandIstoodhimbymychairandItookhismother’sowncurlsinmyhandandIspoketohimlovingandserious。

AndwhenIhadremindedthedarlinghowthathewasnowinhistenthyearandwhenIhadsaidtohimabouthisgettingoninlifeprettymuchwhatIhadsaidtotheMajorIbroketohimhowthatwemusthavethissameparting,andthereIwasforcedtostopforthereI

sawofasuddenthewell—rememberedlipwithitstremble,anditsobroughtbackthattime!Butwiththespiritthatwasinhimhecontrolleditsoonandhesaysgravelynoddingthroughhistears,\"I

understandGran——IknowitMUSTbe,Gran——goonGran,don’tbeafraidofME。\"AndwhenIhadsaidallthateverIcouldthinkof,heturnedhisbrightsteadyfacetomineandhesaysjustalittlebrokenhereandthere\"YoushallseeGranthatIcanbeamanandthatIcandoanythingthatisgratefulandlovingtoyou——andifI

don’tgrowuptobewhatyouwouldliketohaveme——Ihopeitwillbe——becauseIshalldie。\"AndwiththathesatdownbymeandI

wentontotellhimoftheschoolofwhichIhadexcellentrecommendationsandwhereitwasandhowmanyscholarsandwhatgamestheyplayedasIhadheardandwhatlengthofholidays,toallofwhichhelistenedbrightandclear。Andsoitcamethatatlasthesays\"AndnowdearGranletmekneeldownherewhereIhavebeenusedtosaymyprayersandletmefoldmyfaceforjustaminuteinyourgownandletmecry,foryouhavebeenmorethanfather——morethanmother——morethanbrotherssistersfriends——tome!\"AndsohedidcryandItooandwewerebothmuchthebetterforit。

Fromthattimeforthhewastruetohiswordandeverblitheandready,andevenwhenmeandtheMajortookhimdownintoLincolnshirehewasfarthegayestofthepartythoughforsureandcertainhemighteasilyhavebeenthat,buthereallywasandputlifeintousonlywhenitcametothelastGood—bye,hesayswithawistfullook,\"Youwouldn’thavemenotreallysorrywouldyouGran?\"andwhenIsays\"Nodear,Lordforbid!\"hesays\"Iamgladofthat!\"andraninoutofsight。

ButnowthatthechildwasgoneoutoftheLodgingstheMajorfellintoaregularlymopingstate。ItwastakennoticeofbyalltheLodgersthattheMajormoped。Hehadn’teventhesameairofbeingrathertallthanheusedtohave,andifhevarnishedhisbootswithasinglegleamofinterestitwasasmuchashedid。

OneeveningtheMajorcameintomylittleroomtotakeacupofteaandamorselofbutteredtoastandtoreadJemmy’snewestletterwhichhadarrivedthatafternoon(bytheverysamepostmanmorethanmiddle—agedupontheBeatnow),andtheletterraisinghimupalittleIsaystotheMajor:

\"Majoryoumustn’tgetintoamopingway。\"

TheMajorshookhishead。\"JemmyJackmanMadam,\"hesayswithadeepsigh,\"isanolderfilethanIthoughthim。\"

\"MopingisnotthewaytogrowyoungerMajor。\"

\"MydearMadam,\"saystheMajor,\"isthereANYwayofgrowingyounger?\"

FeelingthattheMajorwasgettingratherthebestofthatpointI

madeadiversiontoanother。

\"Thirteenyears!Thir—teenyears!ManyLodgershavecomeandgone,inthethirteenyearsthatyouhavelivedintheparloursMajor。\"

\"Hah!\"saystheMajorwarming。\"ManyMadam,many。\"

\"AndIshouldsayyouhavebeenfamiliarwiththemall?\"

\"Asarule(withitsexceptionslikeallrules)mydearMadam\"saystheMajor,\"theyhavehonouredmewiththeiracquaintance,andnotunfrequentlywiththeirconfidence。\"

WatchingtheMajorashedroopedhiswhiteheadandstrokedhisblackmustachiosandmopedagain,athoughtwhichIthinkmusthavebeengoingaboutlookingforanownersomewheredroppedintomyoldnoddleifyouwillexcusetheexpression。

\"ThewallsofmyLodgings\"Isaysinacasualway——formydearitisofnousegoingstraightatamanwhomopes——\"mighthavesomethingtotelliftheycouldtellit。\"

TheMajorneithermovednorsaidanythingbutIsawhewasattendingwithhisshouldersmydear——attendingwithhisshoulderstowhatI

said。InfactIsawthathisshoulderswerestruckbyit。

\"Thedearboywasalwaysfondofstory—books\"Iwenton,likeasifIwastalkingtomyself。\"Iamsurethishouse——hisownhome——mightwriteastoryortwoforhisreadingonedayoranother。\"

TheMajor’sshouldersgaveadipandacurveandhisheadcameupinhisshirt—collar。TheMajor’sheadcameupinhisshirt—collarasI

hadn’tseenitcomeupsinceJemmywenttoschool。

\"Itisunquestionablethatinintervalsofcribbageandafriendlyrubber,mydearMadam,\"saystheMajor,\"andalsooverwhatusedtobecalledinmyyoungtimes——inthesaladdaysofJemmyJackman——thesocialglass,IhaveexchangedmanyareminiscencewithyourLodgers。\"

Myremarkwas——IconfessImadeitwiththedeepestandartfullestofintentions——\"Iwishourdearboyhadheardthem!\"

\"AreyouseriousMadam?\"askedtheMajorstartingandturningfullround。

\"WhynotMajor?\"

\"Madam\"saystheMajor,turninguponeofhiscuffs,\"theyshallbewrittenforhim。\"

\"Ah!Nowyouspeak\"Isaysgivingmyhandsapleasedclap。\"NowyouareinawayoutofmopingMajor!\"

\"Betweenthisandmyholidays——Imeanthedearboy’s\"saystheMajorturninguphisothercuff,\"agooddealmaybedonetowardsit。\"

\"Majoryouareaclevermanandyouhaveseenmuchandnotadoubtofit。\"

\"I’llbegin,\"saystheMajorlookingastallaseverhedid,\"to—

morrow。\"

MydeartheMajorwasanothermaninthreedaysandhewashimselfagaininaweekandhewroteandwroteandwrotewithhispenscratchinglikeratsbehindthewainscot,andwhetherhehadmanygroundstogouponorwhetherhedidatallromanceIcannottellyou,butwhathehaswrittenisintheleft—handglassclosetofthelittlebookcaseclosebehindyou。

CHAPTERII——HOWTHEPARLOURSADDEDAFEWWORDS

IhavethehonourofpresentingmyselfbythenameofJackman。I

esteemitaproudprivilegetogodowntoposteritythroughtheinstrumentalityofthemostremarkableboythateverlived,——bythenameofJEMMYJACKMANLIRRIPER,——andofmymostworthyandmosthighlyrespectedfriend,Mrs。EmmaLirriper,ofEighty—one,NorfolkStreet,Strand,intheCountyofMiddlesex,intheUnitedKingdomofGreatBritainandIreland。

Itisnotformetoexpresstherapturewithwhichwereceivedthatdearandeminentlyremarkableboy,ontheoccurrenceofhisfirstChristmasholidays。Sufficeittoobservethatwhenhecameflyingintothehousewithtwosplendidprizes(Arithmetic,andExemplaryConduct),Mrs。Lirriperandmyselfembracedwithemotion,andinstantlytookhimtothePlay,wherewewereallthreeadmirablyentertained。

Norisittorenderhomagetothevirtuesofthebestofhergoodandhonouredsex——whom,indeferencetoherunassumingworth,IwillonlyheredesignatebytheinitialsE。L。——thatIaddthisrecordtothebundleofpaperswithwhichour,inamostdistinguisheddegree,remarkableboyhasexpressedhimselfdelighted,beforere—consigningthesametotheleft—handglassclosetofMrs。Lirriper’slittlebookcase。

NeitherisittoobtrudethenameoftheoldoriginalsuperannuatedobscureJemmyJackman,once(tohisdegradation)ofWozenham’s,long(tohiselevation)ofLirriper’s。IfIcouldbeconsciouslyguiltyofthatpieceofbadtaste,itwouldindeedbeaworkofsupererogation,nowthatthenameisbornebyJEMMYJACKMAN

LIRRIPER。

No,Itakeupmyhumblepentoregisteralittlerecordofourstrikinglyremarkableboy,whichmypoorcapacityregardsaspresentingapleasantlittlepictureofthedearboy’smind。Thepicturemaybeinterestingtohimselfwhenheisaman。

OurfirstreunitedChristmas—daywasthemostdelightfulonewehaveeverpassedtogether。Jemmywasneversilentforfiveminutes,exceptinchurch—time。Hetalkedaswesatbythefire,hetalkedwhenwewereoutwalking,hetalkedaswesatbythefireagain,hetalkedincessantlyatdinner,thoughhemadeadinneralmostasremarkableashimself。Itwasthespringofhappinessinhisfreshyoungheartflowingandflowing,anditfertilised(ifImaybeallowedsoboldafigure)mymuch—esteemedfriend,andJ。J。thepresentwriter。

Therewereonlywethree。Wedinedinmyesteemedfriend’slittleroom,andourentertainmentwasperfect。Buteverythingintheestablishmentis,inneatness,order,andcomfort,alwaysperfect。

Afterdinnerourboyslippedawaytohisoldstoolatmyesteemedfriend’sknee,andthere,withhishotchestnutsandhisglassofbrownsherry(really,amostexcellentwine!)onachairforatable,hisfaceoutshonetheapplesinthedish。

Wetalkedofthesejottingsofmine,whichJemmyhadreadthroughandthroughbythattime;andsoitcameaboutthatmyesteemedfriendremarked,asshesatsmoothingJemmy’scurls:

\"Andasyoubelongtothehousetoo,Jemmy,——andsomuchmorethantheLodgers,havingbeenborninit,——why,yourstoryoughttobeaddedtotherest,Ithink,oneofthesedays。\"

Jemmy’seyessparkledatthis,andhesaid,\"SoIthink,Gran。\"

Thenhesatlookingatthefire,andthenhebegantolaughinasortofconfidencewiththefire,andthenhesaid,foldinghisarmsacrossmyesteemedfriend’slap,andraisinghisbrightfacetohers。\"Wouldyouliketohearaboy’sstory,Gran?\"

\"Ofallthings,\"repliedmyesteemedfriend。

\"Wouldyou,godfather?\"

\"Ofallthings,\"Itooreplied。

\"Well,then,\"saidJemmy,\"I’lltellyouone。\"

Hereourindisputablyremarkableboygavehimselfahug,andlaughedagain,musically,attheideaofhiscomingoutinthatnewline。

Thenheoncemoretookthefireintothesamesortofconfidenceasbefore,andbegan:

\"Onceuponatime,Whenpigsdrankwine,Andmonkeyschewedtobaccer,’Twasneitherinyourtimenormine,Butthat’snomacker—

—\"

\"Blessthechild!\"criedmyesteemedfriend,\"what’samisswithhisbrain?\"

\"It’spoetry,Gran,\"returnedJemmy,shoutingwithlaughter。\"Wealwaysbeginstoriesthatwayatschool。\"

\"Gavemequiteaturn,Major,\"saidmyesteemedfriend,fanningherselfwithaplate。\"Thoughthewaslight—headed!\"

\"Inthoseremarkabletimes,Granandgodfather,therewasonceaboy,——notme,youknow。\"

\"No,no,\"saysmyrespectedfriend,\"notyou。Nothim,Major,youunderstand?\"

\"No,no,\"saysI。

\"AndhewenttoschoolinRutlandshire——\"

\"WhynotLincolnshire?\"saysmyrespectedfriend。

\"Whynot,youdearoldGran?BecauseIgotoschoolinLincolnshire,don’tI?\"

\"Ah,tobesure!\"saysmyrespectedfriend。\"Andit’snotJemmy,youunderstand,Major?\"

\"No,no,\"saysI。

\"Well!\"ourboyproceeded,hugginghimselfcomfortably,andlaughingmerrily(againinconfidencewiththefire),beforeheagainlookedupinMrs。Lirriper’sface,\"andsohewastremendouslyinlovewithhisschoolmaster’sdaughter,andshewasthemostbeautifulcreaturethateverwasseen,andshehadbrowneyes,andshehadbrownhairallcurlingbeautifully,andshehadadeliciousvoice,andshewasdeliciousaltogether,andhernamewasSeraphina。\"

\"What’sthenameofYOURschoolmaster’sdaughter,Jemmy?\"asksmyrespectedfriend。

\"Polly!\"repliedJemmy,pointinghisforefingerather。\"Therenow!

Caughtyou!Ha,ha,ha!\"

Whenheandmyrespectedfriendhadhadalaughandahugtogether,ouradmittedlyremarkableboyresumedwithagreatrelish:

\"Well!Andsohelovedher。Andsohethoughtabouther,anddreamedabouther,andmadeherpresentsoforangesandnuts,andwouldhavemadeherpresentsofpearlsanddiamondsifhecouldhaveaffordeditoutofhispocket—money,buthecouldn’t。Andsoherfather——O,heWASaTartar!Keepingtheboysuptothemark,holdingexaminationsonceamonth,lecturinguponallsortsofsubjectsatallsortsoftimes,andknowingeverythingintheworldoutofbook。Andsothisboy——\"

\"Hadheanyname?\"asksmyrespectedfriend。

\"No,hehadn’t,Gran。Ha,ha!Therenow!Caughtyouagain!\"

Afterthis,theyhadanotherlaughandanotherhug,andthenourboywenton。

\"Well!Andsothisboy,hehadafriendaboutasoldashimselfatthesameschool,andhisname(forHeHADaname,asithappened)

was——letmeremember——wasBobbo。\"

\"NotBob,\"saysmyrespectedfriend。

\"Ofcoursenot,\"saysJemmy。\"Whatmadeyouthinkitwas,Gran?

Well!Andsothisfriendwasthecleverestandbravestandbest—

lookingandmostgenerousofallthefriendsthateverwere,andsohewasinlovewithSeraphina’ssister,andsoSeraphina’ssisterwasinlovewithhim,andsotheyallgrewup。\"

\"Blessus!\"saysmyrespectedfriend。\"Theywereverysuddenaboutit。\"

\"Sotheyallgrewup,\"ourboyrepeated,laughingheartily,\"andBobboandthisboywentawaytogetheronhorsebacktoseektheirfortunes,andtheypartlygottheirhorsesbyfavour,andpartlyinabargain;thatistosay,theyhadsavedupbetweenthemsevenandfourpence,andthetwohorses,beingArabs,wereworthmore,onlythemansaidhewouldtakethat,tofavourthem。Well!Andsotheymadetheirfortunesandcameprancingbacktotheschool,withtheirpocketsfullofgold,enoughtolastforever。Andsotheyrangattheparents’andvisitors’bell(notthebackgate),andwhenthebellwasansweredtheyproclaimed’Thesameasifitwasscarletfever!Everyboygoeshomeforanindefiniteperiod!’Andthentherewasgreathurrahing,andthentheykissedSeraphinaandhersister,——eachhisownlove,andnottheother’sonanyaccount,——andthentheyorderedtheTartarintoinstantconfinement。\"

\"Poorman!\"saidmyrespectedfriend。

\"Intoinstantconfinement,Gran,\"repeatedJemmy,tryingtolooksevereandroaringwithlaughter;\"andhewastohavenothingtoeatbuttheboys’dinners,andwastodrinkhalfacaskoftheirbeereveryday。Andsothenthepreparationsweremadeforthetwoweddings,andtherewerehampers,andpottedthings,andsweetthings,andnuts,andpostage—stamps,andallmannerofthings。Andsotheyweresojolly,thattheylettheTartarout,andhewasjollytoo。\"

\"Iamgladtheylethimout,\"saysmyrespectedfriend,\"becausehehadonlydonehisduty。\"

\"O,buthadn’theoverdoneit,though!\"criedJemmy。\"Well!Andsothenthisboymountedhishorse,withhisbrideinhisarms,andcanteredaway,andcanteredonandontillhecametoacertainplacewherehehadacertainGranandacertaingodfather,——notyoutwo,youknow。\"

\"No,no,\"webothsaid。

\"Andtherehewasreceivedwithgreatrejoicings,andhefilledthecupboardandthebookcasewithgold,andheshowereditoutonhisGranandhisgodfatherbecausetheywerethetwokindestanddearestpeoplethateverlivedinthisworld。Andsowhiletheyweresittinguptotheirkneesingold,aknockingwasheardatthestreetdoor,andwhoshoulditbebutBobbo,alsoonhorsebackwithhisbrideinhisarms,andwhathadhecometosaybutthathewouldtake(atdoublerent)alltheLodgingsforever,thatwerenotwantedbythisaboyandthisGranandthisgodfather,andthattheywouldalllivetogether,andallbehappy!Andsotheywere,andsoitneverended!\"

\"Andwastherenoquarrelling?\"askedmyrespectedfriend,asJemmysatuponherlapandhuggedher。

\"No!Nobodyeverquarrelled。\"

\"Anddidthemoneynevermeltaway?\"

\"No!Nobodycouldeverspenditall。\"

\"Anddidnoneofthemevergrowolder?\"

\"No!Nobodyevergrewolderafterthat。\"

\"Anddidnoneofthemeverdie?\"

\"O,no,no,no,Gran!\"exclaimedourdearboy,layinghischeekuponherbreast,anddrawingherclosertohim。\"Nobodyeverdied。\"

\"Ah,Major,Major!\"saysmyrespectedfriend,smilingbenignlyuponme,\"thisbeatsourstories。LetusendwiththeBoy’sstory,Major,fortheBoy’sstoryisthebestthatisevertold!\"

Insubmissiontowhichrequestonthepartofthebestofwomen,I

haveherenoteditdownasfaithfullyasmybestabilities,coupledwithmybestintentions,wouldadmit,subscribingitwithmyname,J。JACKMAN。

THEPARLOURS。

MRS。LIRRIPER’SLODGINGS。