Couldyouletmelookatit?\"
ShelaidherfrozencoldhanduponmineandshelookedthroughmewhenIwasforcedtolookupfrommyneedlework,butIhadtakentheprecautionofhavingonmyspectacles。
\"Ihavenoreceipt\"saysshe。
\"Ah!Thenhehasgotit\"Isaysinacarelessway。\"It’sofnogreatconsequence。Areceipt’sareceipt。\"
FromthattimeshealwayshadholdofmyhandwhenIcouldspareitwhichwasgenerallyonlywhenIreadtoher,forofcoursesheandmehadourbitsofneedleworktoplodatandneitherofuswasveryhandyatthoselittlethings,thoughIamstillratherproudofmyshareinthemtooconsidering。AndthoughshetooktoallIreadtoher,IusedtofancythatnexttowhatwastaughtupontheMountshetookmostofalltoHisgentlecompassionforuspoorwomenandtoHisyounglifeandtohowHismotherwasproudofHimandtreasuredHissayingsinherheart。Shehadagratefullookinhereyesthatneverneverneverwillbeoutofmineuntiltheyareclosedinmylastsleep,andwhenIchancedtolookatherwithoutthinkingofitIwouldalwaysmeetthatlook,andshewouldoftenoffermehertremblingliptokiss,muchmorelikealittleaffectionatehalfbroken—heartedchildthaneverIcanimagineanygrownperson。
OnetimethetremblingofthispoorlipwassostrongandhertearsrandownsofastthatIthoughtshewasgoingtotellmeallherwoe,soItakeshertwohandsinmineandIsays:
\"Nomydearnotnow,youhadbestnottrytodoitnow。Waitforbettertimeswhenyouhavegotoverthisandarestrong,andthenyoushalltellmewhateveryouwill。Shallitbeagreed?\"
Withourhandsstilljoinedshenoddedherheadmanytimes,andsheliftedmyhandsandputthemtoherlipsandtoherbosom。\"Onlyonewordnowmydear\"Isays。\"Isthereanyone?\"
Shelookedinquiringly\"Anyone?\"
\"ThatIcangoto?\"
Sheshookherhead。
\"NoonethatIcanbring?\"
Sheshookherhead。
\"NooneiswantedbyMEmydear。Nowthatmaybeconsideredpastandgone。\"
Notmuchmorethanaweekafterwards——forthiswasfaroninthetimeofourbeingsotogether——Iwasbendingoveratherbedsidewithmyeardowntoherlips,byturnslisteningforherbreathandlookingforasignoflifeinherface。Atlastitcameinasolemnway——notinaflashbutlikeakindofpalefaintlightbroughtveryslowtotheface。
Shesaidsomethingtomethathadnosoundinit,butIsawsheaskedme:
\"Isthisdeath?\"
AndIsays:
\"Poordearpoordear,Ithinkitis。\"
Knowingsomehowthatshewantedmetomoveherweakrighthand,I
tookitandlaiditonherbreastandthenfoldedherotherhanduponit,andsheprayedagoodgoodprayerandIjoinedinitpoormethoughtherewerenowordsspoke。ThenIbroughtthebabyinitswrappersfromwhereitlay,andIsays:
\"Mydearthisissenttoachildlessoldwoman。Thisisformetotakecareof。\"
Thetremblinglipwasputuptowardsmyfaceforthelasttime,andIdearlykissedit。
\"Yesmydear,\"Isays。\"PleaseGod!MeandtheMajor。\"
Idon’tknowhowtotellitright,butIsawhersoulbrightenandleapup,andgetfreeandflyawayinthegratefullook。
***
SothisisthewhyandwhereforeofitscomingtopassmydearthatwecalledhimJemmy,beingaftertheMajorhisowngodfatherwithLirriperforasurnamebeingaftermyself,andneverwasadearchildsuchabrighteningthinginaLodgingsorsuchaplaymatetohisgrandmotherasJemmytothishouseandme,andalwaysgoodandmindingwhathewastold(uponthewhole)andsoothingforthetemperandmakingeverythingpleasanterexceptwhenhegrewoldenoughtodrophiscapdownWozenham’sAiryandtheywouldn’thandituptohim,andbeingworkedintoastateIputonmybestbonnetandglovesandparasolwiththechildinmyhandandIsays\"MissWozenhamIlittlethoughtevertohaveenteredyourhousebutunlessmygrandson’scapisinstantlyrestored,thelawsofthiscountryregulatingthepropertyoftheSubjectshallatlengthdecidebetwixtyourselfandme,costwhatitmay。\"WithasneeruponherfacewhichdidstrikemeImustsayasbeingexpressiveoftwokeysbutitmayhavebeenamistakeandifthereisanydoubtletMissWozenhamhavethefullbenefitofitasisbutright,sherangthebellandshesays\"Jane,isthereastreet—child’soldcapdownourAiry?\"Isays\"MissWozenhambeforeyourhousemaidanswersthatquestionyoumustallowmetoinformyoutoyourfacethatmygrandsonisNOTastreet—childandisNOTinthehabitofwearingoldcaps。Infact\"Isays\"MissWozenhamIamfarfromsurethatmygrandson’scapmaynotbenewerthanyourown\"whichwasperfectlysavageinme,herlacebeingthecommonestmachine—makewashedandtornbesides,butIhadbeenputintoastatetobeginwithfomentedbyimpertinence。MissWozenhamsaysredintheface\"Janeyouheardmyquestion,isthereanychild’scapdownourAiry?\"\"YesMa’am\"
saysJane,\"IthinkIdidseesomesuchrubbisha—lyingthere。\"
\"Then\"saysMissWozenham\"letthesevisitorsout,andthenthrowupthatworthlessarticleoutofmypremises。\"ButherethechildwhohadbeenstaringatMissWozenhamwithallhiseyesandmore,frownsdownhislittleeyebrowspursesuphislittlemouthputshischubbylegsfarapartturnshislittledimpledfistsroundandroundslowlyoveroneanotherlikealittlecoffee—mill,andsaystoher\"OoimpdenttomiGran,metutoorhi!\"\"O!\"saysMissWozenhamlookingdownscornfullyattheMite\"thisisnotastreet—childisitnot!
Really!\"IburstsoutlaughingandIsays\"MissWozenhamifthisain’taprettysighttoyouIdon’tenvyyourfeelingsandIwishyougood—day。JemmycomealongwithGran。\"AndIwasstillinthebestofhumoursthoughhiscapcameflyingupintothestreetasifithadbeenjustturnedonoutofthewater—plug,andIwenthomelaughingalltheway,allowingtothatdearboy。
ThemilesandmilesthatmeandtheMajorhavetravelledwithJemmyintheduskbetweenthelightsarenottobecalculated,Jemmydrivingonthecoach—boxwhichistheMajor’sbrass—boundwritingdeskonthetable,meinsideintheeasy—chairandtheMajorGuardupbehindwithabrown—paperhorndoingitreallywonderful。IdoassureyoumydearthatsometimeswhenIhavetakenafewwinksinmyplaceinsidethecoachandhavecomehalfawakebytheflashinglightofthefireandhaveheardthatpreciouspetdrivingandtheMajorblowingupbehindtohavethechangeofhorsesreadywhenwegottotheInn,IhavehalfbelievedwewereontheoldNorthRoadthatmypoorLirriperknewsowell。ThentoseethatchildandtheMajorbothwrappedupgettingdowntowarmtheirfeetandgoingstampingaboutandhavingglassesofaleoutofthepapermatchboxesonthechimney—pieceistoseetheMajorenjoyingitfullyasmuchasthechildIamverysure,andit’sequaltoanyplaywhenCoacheeopensthecoach—doortolookinatmeinsideandsay\"Wery’pastthat’tage。——’Prightenedoldlady?\"
ButwhatmyinexpressiblefeelingswerewhenwelostthatchildcanonlybecomparedtotheMajor’swhichwerenotashadebetter,throughhisstrayingoutatfiveyearsoldandeleveno’clockintheforenoonandneverheardofbywordorsignordeedtillhalf—pastnineatnight,whentheMajorhadgonetotheEditoroftheTimesnewspapertoputinanadvertisement,whichcameoutnextdayfour—
and—twentyhoursafterhewasfound,andwhichImeanalwayscarefullytokeepinmylavenderdrawerasthefirstprintedaccountofhim。Themorethedaygoton,themoreIgotdistractedandtheMajortooandbothofusmadeworsebythecomposedwaysofthepolicethoughverycivilandobligingandwhatImustcalltheirobstinacyinnotentertainingtheideathathewasstolen。\"WemostlyfindMum\"saysthesergeantwhocameroundtocomfortme,whichhedidn’tatallandhehadbeenoneoftheprivateconstablesinCaroline’stimetowhichhereferredinhisopeningwordswhenhesaid\"Don’tgivewaytouneasinessinyourmindMum,it’llallcomeasrightasmynosedidwhenIgotthesamebarkedbythatyoungwomaninyoursecondfloor\"——saysthissergeant\"wemostlyfindMumaspeopleain’tover—anxioustohavewhatImaycallsecond—handchildren。YOU’LLgethimbackMum。\"\"Obutmydeargoodsir\"I
saysclaspingmyhandsandwringingthemandclaspingthemagain\"heissuchanuncommonchild!\"\"YesMum\"saysthesergeant,\"wemostlyfindthattooMum。Thequestioniswhathisclotheswereworth。\"
\"Hisclothes\"Isays\"werenotworthmuchsirforhehadonlygothisplaying—dresson,butthedearchild!——\"\"AllrightMum\"saysthesergeant。\"You’llgethimbackMum。Andevenifhe’dhadhisbestclotheson,itwouldn’tcometoworsethanhisbeingfoundwrappedupinacabbage—leaf,ashiveringinalane。\"Hiswordspiercedmyheartlikedaggersanddaggers,andmeandtheMajorraninandoutlikewildthingsalldaylongtilltheMajorreturningfromhisinterviewwiththeEditoroftheTimesatnightrushesintomylittleroomhystericalandsqueezesmyhandandwipeshiseyesandsays\"Joyjoy——officerinplainclothescameuponthestepsasIwaslettingmyselfin——composeyourfeelings——Jemmy’sfound。\"
ConsequentlyIfaintedawayandwhenIcameto,embracedthelegsoftheofficerinplainclotheswhoseemedtobetakingakindofaquietinventoryinhismindofthepropertyinmylittleroomwithbrownwhiskers,andIsays\"BlessingsonyousirwhereistheDarling!\"andhesays\"InKenningtonStationHouse。\"IwasdroppingathisfeetStoneattheimageofthatInnocenceincellswithmurdererswhenheadds\"HefollowedtheMonkey。\"Isaysdeemingitslanglanguage\"OsirexplainforalovinggrandmotherwhatMonkey!\"
Hesays\"Himinthespangledcapwiththestrapunderthechin,aswon’tkeepon——himassweepsthecrossingsonaroundtableanddon’twanttodrawhissabremorethanhecanhelp。\"ThenI
understooditallandmostthankfullythankedhim,andmeandtheMajorandhimdroveovertoKenningtonandtherewefoundourboylyingquitecomfortablebeforeablazingfirehavingsweetlyplayedhimselftosleepuponasmallaccordionnothinglikesobigasaflat—ironwhichtheyhadbeensokindastolendhimforthepurposeandwhichitappearedhadbeenstoppeduponaveryyoungperson。
MydearthesystemuponwhichtheMajorcommencedandasImaysayperfectedJemmy’slearningwhenhewassosmallthatifthedearwasontheothersideofthetableyouhadtolookunderitinsteadofoverittoseehimwithhismother’sownbrighthairinbeautifulcurls,isathingthatoughttobeknowntotheThroneandLordsandCommonsandthenmightobtainsomepromotionfortheMajorwhichhewelldeservesandwouldbenonetheworsefor(speakingbetweenfriends)L。S。D。—ically。WhentheMajorfirstundertookhislearninghesaystome:
\"I’mgoingMadam,\"hesays\"tomakeourchildaCalculatingBoy。
\"Major,\"Isays,\"youterrifymeandmaydothepetapermanentinjuryyouwouldneverforgiveyourself。\"
\"Madam,\"saystheMajor,\"nexttomyregretthatwhenIhadmyboot—
spongeinmyhand,Ididn’tchokethatscoundrelwithit——onthespot——\"
\"There!ForGracious’sake,\"Iinterrupts,\"lethisconsciencefindhimwithoutsponges。\"
\"——Isaynexttothatregret,Madam,\"saystheMajor\"wouldbetheregretwithwhichmybreast,\"whichhetapped,\"wouldbesurchargedifthisfinemindwasnotearlycultivated。ButmarkmeMadam,\"
saystheMajorholdinguphisforefinger\"cultivatedonaprinciplethatwillmakeitadelight。\"
\"Major\"Isays\"IwillbecandidwithyouandtellyouopenlythatifeverIfindthedearchildfalloffinhisappetiteIshallknowitishiscalculationsandshallputastoptothemattwominutes’
notice。OrifIfindthemmountingtohishead\"Isays,\"orstrikinganywayscoldtohisstomachorleadingtoanythingapproachingflabbinessinhislegs,theresultwillbethesame,butMajoryouareaclevermanandhaveseenmuchandyoulovethechildandarehisowngodfather,andifyoufeelaconfidenceintryingtry。\"
\"SpokenMadam\"saystheMajor\"likeEmmaLirriper。AllIhavetoask,Madam,isthatyouwillleavemygodsonandmyselftomakeaweekortwo’spreparationsforsurprisingyou,andthatyouwillgivemeleavetohaveupanddownanysmallarticlesnotactuallyinusethatImayrequirefromthekitchen。\"
\"FromthekitchenMajor?\"Isayshalffeelingasifhehadamindtocookthechild。
\"Fromthekitchen\"saystheMajor,andsmilesandswells,andatthesametimelookstaller。
SoIpassedmywordandtheMajorandthedearboywereshutuptogetherforhalfanhouratatimethroughacertainwhile,andnevercouldIhearanythinggoingonbetwixtthembuttalkingandlaughingandJemmyclappinghishandsandscreamingoutnumbers,soIsaystomyself\"ithasnotharmedhimyet\"norcouldIonexaminingthedearfindanysignsofitanywhereabouthimwhichwaslikewiseagreatrelief。AtlastonedayJemmybringsmeacardinjokeintheMajor’sneatwriting\"TheMessrs。JemmyJackman\"forwehadgivenhimtheMajor’sothernametoo\"requestthehonourofMrs。
Lirriper’scompanyattheJackmanInstitutioninthefrontparlourthiseveningatfive,militarytime,towitnessafewslightfeatsofelementaryarithmetic。\"Andifyou’llbelievemethereinthefrontparlouratfivepunctualtothemomentwastheMajorbehindthePembroketablewithbothleavesupandalotofthingsfromthekitchentidilysetoutonoldnewspapersspreadatopofit,andtherewastheMitestooduponachairwithhisrosycheeksflushingandhiseyessparklingclustersofdiamonds。
\"NowGran\"sayshe,\"ootitdownanddon’tootouchlerpeople\"——forhesawwitheveryoneofthosediamondsofhisthatIwasgoingtogivehimasqueeze。
\"Verywellsir\"Isays\"IamobedientinthisgoodcompanyIamsure。\"AndIsitsdownintheeasy—chairthatwasputforme,shakingmysides。
ButpicturemyadmirationwhentheMajorgoingonalmostasquickasifhewasconjuringsetsoutallthearticleshenames,andsays\"Threesaucepans,anItalianiron,ahand—bell,atoasting—fork,anutmeg—grater,fourpotlids,aspice—box,twoegg—cups,andachopping—board——howmany?\"andwhenthatMiteinstantlycries\"Tifteen,tutdowntiveandcarryler’toppin—board\"andthenclapshishandsdrawsuphislegsanddancesonhischair。
MydearwiththesameastonishingeaseandcorrectnesshimandtheMajoraddedupthetableschairsandsofy,thepictersfendersandfire—ironstheirownselvesmeandthecatandtheeyesinMissWozenham’shead,andwheneverthesumwasdoneYoungRosesandDiamondsclapshishandsanddrawsuphislegsanddancesonhischair。
TheprideoftheMajor!(\"HERE’SamindMa’am!\"hesaystomebehindhishand。)
Thenhesaysaloud,\"Wenowcometothenextelementaryrule,——whichiscalled——\"
\"Umtraction!\"criesJemmy。
\"Right,\"saystheMajor。\"Wehavehereatoasting—fork,apotatoinitsnaturalstate,twopotlids,oneegg—cup,awoodenspoon,andtwoskewers,fromwhichitisnecessaryforcommercialpurposestosubtractasprat—gridiron,asmallpickle—jar,twolemons,onepepper—castor,ablackbeetle—trap,andaknobofthedresser—drawer—
—whatremains?\"
\"Toatin—fork!\"criesJemmy。
\"Innumbershowmany?\"saystheMajor。
\"One!\"criesJemmy。
(\"HERE’Saboy,Ma’am!\"saystheMajortomebehindhishand。)ThentheMajorgoeson:
\"Wenowapproachthenextelementaryrule,——whichisentitled——\"
\"Tickleication\"criesJemmy。
\"Correct\"saystheMajor。
Butmydeartorelatetoyouindetailthewayinwhichtheymultipliedfourteensticksoffirewoodbytwobitsofgingerandalardingneedle,ordividedprettywelleverythingelsetherewasonthetablebytheheateroftheItalianironandachambercandlestick,andgotalemonover,wouldmakemyheadspinroundandroundandroundasitdidatthetime。SoIsays\"ifyou’llexcusemyaddressingthechairProfessorJackmanIthinktheperiodofthelecturehasnowarrivedwhenitbecomesnecessarythatIshouldtakeagoodhugofthisyoungscholar。\"UponwhichJemmycallsoutfromhisstationonthechair,\"Granooopenoorarmsandme’llmakea’pringinto’em。\"SoIopenedmyarmstohimasIhadopenedmysorrowfulheartwhenhispooryoungmotherlayadying,andhehadhisjumpandwehadagoodlonghugtogetherandtheMajorprouderthananypeacocksaystomebehindhishand,\"YouneednotlethimknowitMadam\"(whichIcertainlyneednotfortheMajorwasquiteaudible)\"butheISaboy!\"
InthiswayJemmygrewandgrewandwenttoday—schoolandcontinuedundertheMajortoo,andinsummerwewereashappyasthedayswerelong,andinwinterwewereashappyasthedayswereshortandthereseemedtorestaBlessingontheLodgingsfortheyasgoodasLetthemselvesandwouldhavedoneitiftherehadbeentwicetheaccommodation,whensoreandhardagainstmywillIonedaysaystotheMajor。
\"MajoryouknowwhatIamgoingtobreaktoyou。Ourboymustgotoboarding—school。\"
ItwasasadsighttoseetheMajor’scountenancedrop,andIpitiedthegoodsoulwithallmyheart。
\"YesMajor\"Isays,\"thoughheisaspopularwiththeLodgersasyouareyourselfandthoughheistoyouandmewhatonlyyouandmeknow,stillitisinthecourseofthingsandLifeismadeofpartingsandwemustpartwithourPet。\"
BoldasIspoke,IsawtwoMajorsandhalf—a—dozenfireplaces,andwhenthepoorMajorputoneofhisneatbright—varnishedbootsuponthefenderandhiselbowonhiskneeandhisheaduponhishandandrockedhimselfalittletoandfro,Iwasdreadfullycutup。
\"But\"saysIclearingmythroat\"youhavesowellpreparedhimMajor——hehashadsuchaTutorinyou——thathewillhavenoneofthefirstdrudgerytogothrough。Andheissocleverbesidesthathe’llsoonmakehiswaytothefrontrank。\"
\"Heisaboy\"saystheMajor——havingsniffed——\"thathasnothislikeonthefaceoftheearth。\"
\"TrueasyousayMajor,anditisnotforusmerelyforourownsakestodoanythingtokeephimbackfrombeingacreditandanornamentwhereverhegoesandperhapsevenrisingtobeagreatman,isitMajor?Hewillhaveallmylittlesavingswhenmyworkisdone(beingalltheworldtome)andwemusttrytomakehimawisemanandagoodman,mustn’tweMajor?\"
\"Madam\"saystheMajorrising\"JemmyJackmanisbecominganolderfilethanIwasawareof,andyouputhimtoshame。YouarethoroughlyrightMadam。Youaresimplyandundeniablyright。——Andifyou’llexcuseme,I’lltakeawalk。\"
SotheMajorbeinggoneoutandJemmybeingathome,IgotthechildintomylittleroomhereandIstoodhimbymychairandItookhismother’sowncurlsinmyhandandIspoketohimlovingandserious。
AndwhenIhadremindedthedarlinghowthathewasnowinhistenthyearandwhenIhadsaidtohimabouthisgettingoninlifeprettymuchwhatIhadsaidtotheMajorIbroketohimhowthatwemusthavethissameparting,andthereIwasforcedtostopforthereI
sawofasuddenthewell—rememberedlipwithitstremble,anditsobroughtbackthattime!Butwiththespiritthatwasinhimhecontrolleditsoonandhesaysgravelynoddingthroughhistears,\"I
understandGran——IknowitMUSTbe,Gran——goonGran,don’tbeafraidofME。\"AndwhenIhadsaidallthateverIcouldthinkof,heturnedhisbrightsteadyfacetomineandhesaysjustalittlebrokenhereandthere\"YoushallseeGranthatIcanbeamanandthatIcandoanythingthatisgratefulandlovingtoyou——andifI
don’tgrowuptobewhatyouwouldliketohaveme——Ihopeitwillbe——becauseIshalldie。\"AndwiththathesatdownbymeandI
wentontotellhimoftheschoolofwhichIhadexcellentrecommendationsandwhereitwasandhowmanyscholarsandwhatgamestheyplayedasIhadheardandwhatlengthofholidays,toallofwhichhelistenedbrightandclear。Andsoitcamethatatlasthesays\"AndnowdearGranletmekneeldownherewhereIhavebeenusedtosaymyprayersandletmefoldmyfaceforjustaminuteinyourgownandletmecry,foryouhavebeenmorethanfather——morethanmother——morethanbrotherssistersfriends——tome!\"AndsohedidcryandItooandwewerebothmuchthebetterforit。
Fromthattimeforthhewastruetohiswordandeverblitheandready,andevenwhenmeandtheMajortookhimdownintoLincolnshirehewasfarthegayestofthepartythoughforsureandcertainhemighteasilyhavebeenthat,buthereallywasandputlifeintousonlywhenitcametothelastGood—bye,hesayswithawistfullook,\"Youwouldn’thavemenotreallysorrywouldyouGran?\"andwhenIsays\"Nodear,Lordforbid!\"hesays\"Iamgladofthat!\"andraninoutofsight。
ButnowthatthechildwasgoneoutoftheLodgingstheMajorfellintoaregularlymopingstate。ItwastakennoticeofbyalltheLodgersthattheMajormoped。Hehadn’teventhesameairofbeingrathertallthanheusedtohave,andifhevarnishedhisbootswithasinglegleamofinterestitwasasmuchashedid。
OneeveningtheMajorcameintomylittleroomtotakeacupofteaandamorselofbutteredtoastandtoreadJemmy’snewestletterwhichhadarrivedthatafternoon(bytheverysamepostmanmorethanmiddle—agedupontheBeatnow),andtheletterraisinghimupalittleIsaystotheMajor:
\"Majoryoumustn’tgetintoamopingway。\"
TheMajorshookhishead。\"JemmyJackmanMadam,\"hesayswithadeepsigh,\"isanolderfilethanIthoughthim。\"
\"MopingisnotthewaytogrowyoungerMajor。\"
\"MydearMadam,\"saystheMajor,\"isthereANYwayofgrowingyounger?\"
FeelingthattheMajorwasgettingratherthebestofthatpointI
madeadiversiontoanother。
\"Thirteenyears!Thir—teenyears!ManyLodgershavecomeandgone,inthethirteenyearsthatyouhavelivedintheparloursMajor。\"
\"Hah!\"saystheMajorwarming。\"ManyMadam,many。\"
\"AndIshouldsayyouhavebeenfamiliarwiththemall?\"
\"Asarule(withitsexceptionslikeallrules)mydearMadam\"saystheMajor,\"theyhavehonouredmewiththeiracquaintance,andnotunfrequentlywiththeirconfidence。\"
WatchingtheMajorashedroopedhiswhiteheadandstrokedhisblackmustachiosandmopedagain,athoughtwhichIthinkmusthavebeengoingaboutlookingforanownersomewheredroppedintomyoldnoddleifyouwillexcusetheexpression。
\"ThewallsofmyLodgings\"Isaysinacasualway——formydearitisofnousegoingstraightatamanwhomopes——\"mighthavesomethingtotelliftheycouldtellit。\"
TheMajorneithermovednorsaidanythingbutIsawhewasattendingwithhisshouldersmydear——attendingwithhisshoulderstowhatI
said。InfactIsawthathisshoulderswerestruckbyit。
\"Thedearboywasalwaysfondofstory—books\"Iwenton,likeasifIwastalkingtomyself。\"Iamsurethishouse——hisownhome——mightwriteastoryortwoforhisreadingonedayoranother。\"
TheMajor’sshouldersgaveadipandacurveandhisheadcameupinhisshirt—collar。TheMajor’sheadcameupinhisshirt—collarasI
hadn’tseenitcomeupsinceJemmywenttoschool。
\"Itisunquestionablethatinintervalsofcribbageandafriendlyrubber,mydearMadam,\"saystheMajor,\"andalsooverwhatusedtobecalledinmyyoungtimes——inthesaladdaysofJemmyJackman——thesocialglass,IhaveexchangedmanyareminiscencewithyourLodgers。\"
Myremarkwas——IconfessImadeitwiththedeepestandartfullestofintentions——\"Iwishourdearboyhadheardthem!\"
\"AreyouseriousMadam?\"askedtheMajorstartingandturningfullround。
\"WhynotMajor?\"
\"Madam\"saystheMajor,turninguponeofhiscuffs,\"theyshallbewrittenforhim。\"
\"Ah!Nowyouspeak\"Isaysgivingmyhandsapleasedclap。\"NowyouareinawayoutofmopingMajor!\"
\"Betweenthisandmyholidays——Imeanthedearboy’s\"saystheMajorturninguphisothercuff,\"agooddealmaybedonetowardsit。\"
\"Majoryouareaclevermanandyouhaveseenmuchandnotadoubtofit。\"
\"I’llbegin,\"saystheMajorlookingastallaseverhedid,\"to—
morrow。\"
MydeartheMajorwasanothermaninthreedaysandhewashimselfagaininaweekandhewroteandwroteandwrotewithhispenscratchinglikeratsbehindthewainscot,andwhetherhehadmanygroundstogouponorwhetherhedidatallromanceIcannottellyou,butwhathehaswrittenisintheleft—handglassclosetofthelittlebookcaseclosebehindyou。
CHAPTERII——HOWTHEPARLOURSADDEDAFEWWORDS
IhavethehonourofpresentingmyselfbythenameofJackman。I
esteemitaproudprivilegetogodowntoposteritythroughtheinstrumentalityofthemostremarkableboythateverlived,——bythenameofJEMMYJACKMANLIRRIPER,——andofmymostworthyandmosthighlyrespectedfriend,Mrs。EmmaLirriper,ofEighty—one,NorfolkStreet,Strand,intheCountyofMiddlesex,intheUnitedKingdomofGreatBritainandIreland。
Itisnotformetoexpresstherapturewithwhichwereceivedthatdearandeminentlyremarkableboy,ontheoccurrenceofhisfirstChristmasholidays。Sufficeittoobservethatwhenhecameflyingintothehousewithtwosplendidprizes(Arithmetic,andExemplaryConduct),Mrs。Lirriperandmyselfembracedwithemotion,andinstantlytookhimtothePlay,wherewewereallthreeadmirablyentertained。
Norisittorenderhomagetothevirtuesofthebestofhergoodandhonouredsex——whom,indeferencetoherunassumingworth,IwillonlyheredesignatebytheinitialsE。L。——thatIaddthisrecordtothebundleofpaperswithwhichour,inamostdistinguisheddegree,remarkableboyhasexpressedhimselfdelighted,beforere—consigningthesametotheleft—handglassclosetofMrs。Lirriper’slittlebookcase。
NeitherisittoobtrudethenameoftheoldoriginalsuperannuatedobscureJemmyJackman,once(tohisdegradation)ofWozenham’s,long(tohiselevation)ofLirriper’s。IfIcouldbeconsciouslyguiltyofthatpieceofbadtaste,itwouldindeedbeaworkofsupererogation,nowthatthenameisbornebyJEMMYJACKMAN
LIRRIPER。
No,Itakeupmyhumblepentoregisteralittlerecordofourstrikinglyremarkableboy,whichmypoorcapacityregardsaspresentingapleasantlittlepictureofthedearboy’smind。Thepicturemaybeinterestingtohimselfwhenheisaman。
OurfirstreunitedChristmas—daywasthemostdelightfulonewehaveeverpassedtogether。Jemmywasneversilentforfiveminutes,exceptinchurch—time。Hetalkedaswesatbythefire,hetalkedwhenwewereoutwalking,hetalkedaswesatbythefireagain,hetalkedincessantlyatdinner,thoughhemadeadinneralmostasremarkableashimself。Itwasthespringofhappinessinhisfreshyoungheartflowingandflowing,anditfertilised(ifImaybeallowedsoboldafigure)mymuch—esteemedfriend,andJ。J。thepresentwriter。
Therewereonlywethree。Wedinedinmyesteemedfriend’slittleroom,andourentertainmentwasperfect。Buteverythingintheestablishmentis,inneatness,order,andcomfort,alwaysperfect。
Afterdinnerourboyslippedawaytohisoldstoolatmyesteemedfriend’sknee,andthere,withhishotchestnutsandhisglassofbrownsherry(really,amostexcellentwine!)onachairforatable,hisfaceoutshonetheapplesinthedish。
Wetalkedofthesejottingsofmine,whichJemmyhadreadthroughandthroughbythattime;andsoitcameaboutthatmyesteemedfriendremarked,asshesatsmoothingJemmy’scurls:
\"Andasyoubelongtothehousetoo,Jemmy,——andsomuchmorethantheLodgers,havingbeenborninit,——why,yourstoryoughttobeaddedtotherest,Ithink,oneofthesedays。\"
Jemmy’seyessparkledatthis,andhesaid,\"SoIthink,Gran。\"
Thenhesatlookingatthefire,andthenhebegantolaughinasortofconfidencewiththefire,andthenhesaid,foldinghisarmsacrossmyesteemedfriend’slap,andraisinghisbrightfacetohers。\"Wouldyouliketohearaboy’sstory,Gran?\"
\"Ofallthings,\"repliedmyesteemedfriend。
\"Wouldyou,godfather?\"
\"Ofallthings,\"Itooreplied。
\"Well,then,\"saidJemmy,\"I’lltellyouone。\"
Hereourindisputablyremarkableboygavehimselfahug,andlaughedagain,musically,attheideaofhiscomingoutinthatnewline。
Thenheoncemoretookthefireintothesamesortofconfidenceasbefore,andbegan:
\"Onceuponatime,Whenpigsdrankwine,Andmonkeyschewedtobaccer,’Twasneitherinyourtimenormine,Butthat’snomacker—
—\"
\"Blessthechild!\"criedmyesteemedfriend,\"what’samisswithhisbrain?\"
\"It’spoetry,Gran,\"returnedJemmy,shoutingwithlaughter。\"Wealwaysbeginstoriesthatwayatschool。\"
\"Gavemequiteaturn,Major,\"saidmyesteemedfriend,fanningherselfwithaplate。\"Thoughthewaslight—headed!\"
\"Inthoseremarkabletimes,Granandgodfather,therewasonceaboy,——notme,youknow。\"
\"No,no,\"saysmyrespectedfriend,\"notyou。Nothim,Major,youunderstand?\"
\"No,no,\"saysI。
\"AndhewenttoschoolinRutlandshire——\"
\"WhynotLincolnshire?\"saysmyrespectedfriend。
\"Whynot,youdearoldGran?BecauseIgotoschoolinLincolnshire,don’tI?\"
\"Ah,tobesure!\"saysmyrespectedfriend。\"Andit’snotJemmy,youunderstand,Major?\"
\"No,no,\"saysI。
\"Well!\"ourboyproceeded,hugginghimselfcomfortably,andlaughingmerrily(againinconfidencewiththefire),beforeheagainlookedupinMrs。Lirriper’sface,\"andsohewastremendouslyinlovewithhisschoolmaster’sdaughter,andshewasthemostbeautifulcreaturethateverwasseen,andshehadbrowneyes,andshehadbrownhairallcurlingbeautifully,andshehadadeliciousvoice,andshewasdeliciousaltogether,andhernamewasSeraphina。\"
\"What’sthenameofYOURschoolmaster’sdaughter,Jemmy?\"asksmyrespectedfriend。
\"Polly!\"repliedJemmy,pointinghisforefingerather。\"Therenow!
Caughtyou!Ha,ha,ha!\"
Whenheandmyrespectedfriendhadhadalaughandahugtogether,ouradmittedlyremarkableboyresumedwithagreatrelish:
\"Well!Andsohelovedher。Andsohethoughtabouther,anddreamedabouther,andmadeherpresentsoforangesandnuts,andwouldhavemadeherpresentsofpearlsanddiamondsifhecouldhaveaffordeditoutofhispocket—money,buthecouldn’t。Andsoherfather——O,heWASaTartar!Keepingtheboysuptothemark,holdingexaminationsonceamonth,lecturinguponallsortsofsubjectsatallsortsoftimes,andknowingeverythingintheworldoutofbook。Andsothisboy——\"
\"Hadheanyname?\"asksmyrespectedfriend。
\"No,hehadn’t,Gran。Ha,ha!Therenow!Caughtyouagain!\"
Afterthis,theyhadanotherlaughandanotherhug,andthenourboywenton。
\"Well!Andsothisboy,hehadafriendaboutasoldashimselfatthesameschool,andhisname(forHeHADaname,asithappened)
was——letmeremember——wasBobbo。\"
\"NotBob,\"saysmyrespectedfriend。
\"Ofcoursenot,\"saysJemmy。\"Whatmadeyouthinkitwas,Gran?
Well!Andsothisfriendwasthecleverestandbravestandbest—
lookingandmostgenerousofallthefriendsthateverwere,andsohewasinlovewithSeraphina’ssister,andsoSeraphina’ssisterwasinlovewithhim,andsotheyallgrewup。\"
\"Blessus!\"saysmyrespectedfriend。\"Theywereverysuddenaboutit。\"
\"Sotheyallgrewup,\"ourboyrepeated,laughingheartily,\"andBobboandthisboywentawaytogetheronhorsebacktoseektheirfortunes,andtheypartlygottheirhorsesbyfavour,andpartlyinabargain;thatistosay,theyhadsavedupbetweenthemsevenandfourpence,andthetwohorses,beingArabs,wereworthmore,onlythemansaidhewouldtakethat,tofavourthem。Well!Andsotheymadetheirfortunesandcameprancingbacktotheschool,withtheirpocketsfullofgold,enoughtolastforever。Andsotheyrangattheparents’andvisitors’bell(notthebackgate),andwhenthebellwasansweredtheyproclaimed’Thesameasifitwasscarletfever!Everyboygoeshomeforanindefiniteperiod!’Andthentherewasgreathurrahing,andthentheykissedSeraphinaandhersister,——eachhisownlove,andnottheother’sonanyaccount,——andthentheyorderedtheTartarintoinstantconfinement。\"
\"Poorman!\"saidmyrespectedfriend。
\"Intoinstantconfinement,Gran,\"repeatedJemmy,tryingtolooksevereandroaringwithlaughter;\"andhewastohavenothingtoeatbuttheboys’dinners,andwastodrinkhalfacaskoftheirbeereveryday。Andsothenthepreparationsweremadeforthetwoweddings,andtherewerehampers,andpottedthings,andsweetthings,andnuts,andpostage—stamps,andallmannerofthings。Andsotheyweresojolly,thattheylettheTartarout,andhewasjollytoo。\"
\"Iamgladtheylethimout,\"saysmyrespectedfriend,\"becausehehadonlydonehisduty。\"
\"O,buthadn’theoverdoneit,though!\"criedJemmy。\"Well!Andsothenthisboymountedhishorse,withhisbrideinhisarms,andcanteredaway,andcanteredonandontillhecametoacertainplacewherehehadacertainGranandacertaingodfather,——notyoutwo,youknow。\"
\"No,no,\"webothsaid。
\"Andtherehewasreceivedwithgreatrejoicings,andhefilledthecupboardandthebookcasewithgold,andheshowereditoutonhisGranandhisgodfatherbecausetheywerethetwokindestanddearestpeoplethateverlivedinthisworld。Andsowhiletheyweresittinguptotheirkneesingold,aknockingwasheardatthestreetdoor,andwhoshoulditbebutBobbo,alsoonhorsebackwithhisbrideinhisarms,andwhathadhecometosaybutthathewouldtake(atdoublerent)alltheLodgingsforever,thatwerenotwantedbythisaboyandthisGranandthisgodfather,andthattheywouldalllivetogether,andallbehappy!Andsotheywere,andsoitneverended!\"
\"Andwastherenoquarrelling?\"askedmyrespectedfriend,asJemmysatuponherlapandhuggedher。
\"No!Nobodyeverquarrelled。\"
\"Anddidthemoneynevermeltaway?\"
\"No!Nobodycouldeverspenditall。\"
\"Anddidnoneofthemevergrowolder?\"
\"No!Nobodyevergrewolderafterthat。\"
\"Anddidnoneofthemeverdie?\"
\"O,no,no,no,Gran!\"exclaimedourdearboy,layinghischeekuponherbreast,anddrawingherclosertohim。\"Nobodyeverdied。\"
\"Ah,Major,Major!\"saysmyrespectedfriend,smilingbenignlyuponme,\"thisbeatsourstories。LetusendwiththeBoy’sstory,Major,fortheBoy’sstoryisthebestthatisevertold!\"
Insubmissiontowhichrequestonthepartofthebestofwomen,I
haveherenoteditdownasfaithfullyasmybestabilities,coupledwithmybestintentions,wouldadmit,subscribingitwithmyname,J。JACKMAN。
THEPARLOURS。
MRS。LIRRIPER’SLODGINGS。