’IfyoutalkofMurphyandFrancisMoore，gentlemen，’saidthelamplighterwhowasinthechair，’Imeantosaythatneitherof’emeverhadanymoretodowiththestarsthanTomGrighad。’
’AndwhathadHEtodowith’em？’askedthelamplighterwhoofficiatedasvice。
’Nothingatall，’repliedtheother；’justexactlynothingatall。’
’Doyoumeantosayyoudon’tbelieveinMurphy，then？’demandedthelamplighterwhohadopenedthediscussion。
’ImeantosayIbelieveinTomGrig，’repliedthechairman。
’WhetherIbelieveinMurphy，ornot，isamatterbetweenmeandmyconscience；andwhetherMurphybelievesinhimself，ornot，isamatterbetweenhimandhisconscience。Gentlemen，Idrinkyourhealths。’
Thelamplighterwhodidthecompanythishonour，wasseatedinthechimney—cornerofacertaintavern，whichhasbeen，timeoutofmind，theLamplighters’HouseofCall。Hesatinthemidstofacircleoflamplighters，andwasthecacique，orchiefofthetribe。
Ifanyofourreadershavehadthegoodfortunetobeholdalamplighter’sfuneral，theywillnotbesurprisedtolearnthatlamplightersareastrangeandprimitivepeople；thattheyrigidlyadheretooldceremoniesandcustomswhichhavebeenhandeddownamongthemfromfathertosonsincethefirstpubliclampwaslightedoutofdoors；thattheyintermarry，andbetroththeirchildrenininfancy；thattheyenterintonoplotsorconspiracies（forwhoeverheardofatraitorouslamplighter？）；thattheycommitnocrimesagainstthelawsoftheircountry（therebeingnoinstanceofamurderousorburglariouslamplighter）；thattheyare，inshort，notwithstandingtheirapparentlyvolatileandrestlesscharacter，ahighlymoralandreflectivepeople：havingamongthemselvesasmanytraditionalobservancesastheJews，andbeing，asabody，ifnotasoldasthehills，atleastasoldasthestreets。Itisanarticleoftheircreedthatthefirstfaintglimmeringoftruecivilisationshoneinthefirststreet—lightmaintainedatthepublicexpense。Theytracetheirexistenceandhighpositioninthepublicesteem，inadirectlinetotheheathenmythology；andholdthatthehistoryofPrometheushimselfisbutapleasantfable，whereofthetrueheroisalamplighter。
’Gentlemen，’saidthelamplighterinthechair，’Idrinkyourhealths。’
’Andperhaps，Sir，’saidthevice，holdinguphisglass，andrisingalittlewayoffhisseatandsittingdownagain，intokenthatherecognisedandreturnedthecompliment，’perhapsyouwilladdtothatcondescensionbytellinguswhoTomGrigwas，andhowhecametobeconnectedinyourmindwithFrancisMoore，Physician。’
’Hear，hear，hear！’criedthelamplightersgenerally。
’TomGrig，gentlemen，’saidthechairman，’wasoneofus；andithappenedtohim，asitdon’toftenhappentoapubliccharacterinourline，thathehadhiswhat—you—may—call—itcast。’
’Hishead？’saidthevice。
’No，’repliedthechairman，’nothishead。’
’Hisface，perhaps？’saidthevice。’No，nothisface。’’Hislegs？’’No，nothislegs。’Noryethisarms，norhishands，norhisfeet，norhischest，allofwhichwereseverallysuggested。
’Hisnativity，perhaps？’
’That’sit，’saidthechairman，awakeningfromhisthoughtfulattitudeatthesuggestion。’Hisnativity。That’swhatTomhadcast，gentlemen。’
’Inplaster？’askedthevice。
’Idon’trightlyknowhowit’sdone，’returnedthechairman。’ButIsupposeitwas。’
Andtherehestoppedasifthatwereallhehadtosay；whereupontherearoseamurmuramongthecompany，whichatlengthresolveditselfintoarequest，conveyedthroughthevice，thathewouldgoon。Thisbeingexactlywhatthechairmanwanted，hemusedforalittletime，performedthatagreeableceremonywhichispopularlytermedwettingone’swhistle，andwentonthus：
’TomGrig，gentlemen，was，asIhavesaid，oneofus；andImaygofurther，andsayhewasanornamenttous，andsuchaoneasonlythegoodoldtimesofoilandcottoncouldhaveproduced。Tom’sfamily，gentlemen，werealllamplighters。’
’Nottheladies，Ihope？’askedthevice。
’Theyhadtalentenoughforit，Sir，’rejoinedthechairman，’andwouldhavebeen，butfortheprejudicesofsociety。Letwomenhavetheirrights，Sir，andthefemalesofTom’sfamilywouldhavebeeneveryoneof’eminoffice。Butthatemancipationhasn’tcomeyet，andhadn’tthen，andconsequentlytheyconfinedthemselvestothebosomsoftheirfamilies，cookedthedinners，mendedtheclothes，mindedthechildren，comfortedtheirhusbands，andattendedtothehouse—keepinggenerally。It’sahardthinguponthewomen，gentlemen，thattheyarelimitedtosuchasphereofactionasthis；veryhard。
’IhappentoknowallaboutTom，gentlemen，fromthecircumstanceofhisunclebyhismother’sside，havingbeenmyparticularfriend。His（that’sTom’suncle’s）fatewasamelancholyone。Gaswasthedeathofhim。Whenitwasfirsttalkedof，helaughed。Hewasn’tangry；helaughedatthecredulityofhumannature。\"Theymightaswelltalk，\"hesays，\"oflayingonaneverlastingsuccessionofglow—worms；\"andthenhelaughedagain，partlyathisjoke，andpartlyatpoorhumanity。
’Incourseoftime，however，thethinggotground，theexperimentwasmade，andtheylightedupPallMall。Tom’sunclewenttoseeit。I’veheardthathefelloffhisladderfourteentimesthatnight，fromweakness，andthathewouldcertainlyhavegoneonfallingtillhekilledhimself，ifhislasttumblehadn’tbeenintoawheelbarrowwhichwasgoinghisway，andhumanelytookhimhome。
\"Iforeseeinthis，\"saysTom’sunclefaintly，andtakingtohisbedashespoke—\"Iforeseeinthis，\"hesays，\"thebreakingupofourprofession。There’snomoregoingtheroundstotrimbydaylight，nomoredribblingdownoftheoilonthehatsandbonnetsofladiesandgentlemenwhenonefeelsinspirits。Anylowfellowcanlightagas—lamp。Andit’sallup。\"Inthisstateofmind，hepetitionedthegovernmentfor—Iwantawordagain，gentlemen—
whatdoyoucallthatwhichtheygivetopeoplewhenit’sfoundout，atlast，thatthey’veneverbeenofanyuse，andhavebeenpaidtoomuchfordoingnothing？’
’Compensation？’suggestedthevice。
’That’sit，’saidthechairman。’Compensation。Theydidn’tgiveithim，though，andthenhegotveryfondofhiscountryallatonce，andwentaboutsayingthatgaswasadeath—blowtohisnativeland，andthatitwasaplotoftheradicalstoruinthecountryanddestroytheoilandcottontradeforever，andthatthewhaleswouldgoandkillthemselvesprivately，outofsheerspiteandvexationatnotbeingcaught。Atlasthegotright—downcracked；
calledhistobacco—pipeagas—pipe；thoughthistearswerelamp—
oil；andwentonwithallmannerofnonsenseofthatsort，tillonenighthehunghimselfonalamp—ironinSaintMartin’sLane，andtherewasanendofHIM。
’Tomlovedhim，gentlemen，buthesurvivedit。Heshedatearoverhisgrave，gotverydrunk，spokeafuneralorationthatnightinthewatch—house，andwasfinedfiveshillingsforit，inthemorning。Somemenarenonetheworseforthissortofthing。Tomwasoneof’em。Hewentthatveryafternoononanewbeat：asclearinhishead，andasfreefromfeverasFatherMathewhimself。
’Tom’snewbeat，gentlemen，was—Ican’texactlysaywhere，forthathe’dnevertell；butIknowitwasinaquietpartoftown，wherethereweresomequeeroldhouses。IhavealwayshaditinmyheadthatitmusthavebeensomewherenearCanonburyTowerinIslington，butthat’samatterofopinion。Whereveritwas，hewentuponit，withabran—newladder，awhitehat，abrownhollandjacketandtrousers，ablueneck—kerchief，andasprigoffull—
blowndoublewall—flowerinhisbutton—hole。Tomwasalwaysgenteelinhisappearance，andIhaveheardfromthebestjudges，thatifhehadlefthisladderathomethatafternoon，youmighthavetookhimforalord。
’Hewasalwaysmerry，wasTom，andsuchasinger，thatiftherewasanyencouragementfornativetalent，he’dhavebeenattheopera。
Hewasonhisladder，lightinghisfirstlamp，andsingingtohimselfinamannermoreeasilytobeconceivedthandescribed，whenhehearstheclockstrikefive，andsuddenlyseesanoldgentlemanwithatelescopeinhishand，throwupawindowandlookathimveryhard。
’Tomdidn’tknowwhatcouldbepassinginthisoldgentleman’smind。Hethoughtitlikelyenoughthathemightbesayingwithinhimself，\"Here’sanewlamplighter—agood—lookingyoungfellow—
shallIstandsomethingtodrink？\"Thinkingthispossible，hekeepsquitestill，pretendingtobeveryparticularaboutthewick，andlooksattheoldgentlemansideways，seemingtotakenonoticeofhim。
’Gentlemen，hewasoneofthestrangestandmostmysterious—lookingfilesthateverTomclappedhiseyeson。Hewasdressedallslovenlyanduntidy，inagreatgownofakindofbed—furniturepattern，withacapofthesameonhishead；andalongoldflappedwaistcoat；withnobraces，nostrings，veryfewbuttons—inshort，withhardlyanyofthoseartificialcontrivancesthatholdsocietytogether。Tomknewbythesesigns，andbyhisnotbeingshaved，andbyhisnotbeingover—clean，andbyasortofwisdomnotquiteawake，inhisface，thathewasascientificoldgentleman。HeoftentoldmethatifhecouldhaveconceivedthepossibilityofthewholeRoyalSocietybeingboileddownintooneman，heshouldhavesaidtheoldgentleman’sbodywasthatBody。
’Theoldgentlemanclapsthetelescopetohiseye，looksallround，seesnobodyelseinsight，staresatTomagain，andcriesoutveryloud：
’\"Hal—loa！\"
’\"Halloa，Sir，\"saysTomfromtheladder；\"andhalloaagain，ifyoucometothat。\"
’\"Here’sanextraordinaryfulfilment，\"saystheoldgentleman，\"ofapredictionoftheplanets。\"
’\"Isthere？\"saysTom。\"I’mverygladtohearit。\"
’\"Youngman，\"saystheoldgentleman，\"youdon’tknowme。\"
’\"Sir，\"saysTom，\"Ihavenotthathonour；butIshallbehappytodrinkyourhealth，notwithstanding。\"
’\"Iread，\"criestheoldgentleman，withouttakinganynoticeofthispolitenessonTom’spart—\"Ireadwhat’sgoingtohappen，inthestars。\"
’Tomthankedhimfortheinformation，andbeggedtoknowifanythingparticularwasgoingtohappeninthestars，inthecourseofaweekorso；buttheoldgentleman，correctinghim，explainedthathereadinthestarswhatwasgoingtohappenondryland，andthathewasacquaintedwithallthecelestialbodies。
’\"Ihopethey’reallwell，Sir，\"saysTom，—\"everybody。\"
’\"Hush！\"criestheoldgentleman。\"IhaveconsultedthebookofFatewithrareandwonderfulsuccess。Iamversedinthegreatsciencesofastrologyandastronomy。Inmyhousehere，Ihaveeverydescriptionofapparatusforobservingthecourseandmotionoftheplanets。Sixmonthsago，Iderivedfromthissource，theknowledgethatpreciselyastheclockstruckfivethisafternoonastrangerwouldpresenthimself—thedestinedhusbandofmyyoungandlovelyniece—inrealityofillustriousandhighdescent，butwhosebirthwouldbeenvelopedinuncertaintyandmystery。Don’ttellmeyoursisn’t，\"saystheoldgentleman，whowasinsuchahurrytospeakthathecouldn’tgetthewordsoutfastenough，\"forIknowbetter。\"
’Gentlemen，Tomwassoastonishedwhenheheardhimsaythis，thathecouldhardlykeephisfootingontheladder，andfounditnecessarytoholdonbythelamp—post。ThereWASamysteryabouthisbirth。Hismotherhadalwaysadmittedit。Tomhadneverknownwhowashisfather，andsomepeoplehadgonesofarastosaythatevenSHEwasindoubt。
’Whilehewasinthisstateofamazement，theoldgentlemanleavesthewindow，burstsoutofthehouse—door，shakestheladder，andTom，likearipepumpkin，comesslidingdownintohisarms。
’\"Letmeembraceyou，\"hesays，foldinghisarmsabouthim，andnearlylightinguphisoldbed—furnituregownatTom’slink。
\"You’reamanofnobleaspect。Everythingcombinestoprovetheaccuracyofmyobservations。Youhavehadmysteriouspromptingswithinyou，\"hesays；\"Iknowyouhavehadwhisperingsofgreatness，eh？\"hesays。
’\"IthinkIhave，\"saysTom—Tomwasoneofthosewhocanpersuadethemselvestoanythingtheylike—\"I’veoftenthoughtIwasn’tthesmallbeerIwastakenfor。\"
’\"Youwereright，\"criestheoldgentleman，hugginghimagain。
\"Comein。Mynieceawaitsus。\"
’\"Istheyoungladytolerablegood—looking，Sir？\"saysTom，hangingfirerather，ashethoughtofherplayingthepiano，andknowingFrench，andbeinguptoallmannerofaccomplishments。
’\"She’sbeautiful！\"criestheoldgentleman，whowasinsuchaterriblebustlethathewasallinaperspiration。\"Shehasagracefulcarriage，anexquisiteshape，asweetvoice，acountenancebeamingwithanimationandexpression；andtheeye，\"hesays，rubbinghishands，\"ofastartledfawn。\"
’Tomsupposedthismightmean，whatwascalledamonghiscircleofacquaintance，\"agameeye；\"and，withaviewtothisdefect，inquiredwhethertheyoungladyhadanycash。
’\"Shehasfivethousandpounds，\"criestheoldgentleman。\"Butwhatofthat？whatofthat？Awordinyourear。I’minsearchofthephilosopher’sstone。Ihaveverynearlyfoundit—notquite。
Itturnseverythingtogold；that’sitsproperty。\"
’Tomnaturallythoughtitmusthaveadealofproperty；andsaidthatwhentheoldgentlemandidgetit，hehopedhe’dbecarefultokeepitinthefamily。
’\"Certainly，\"hesays，\"ofcourse。Fivethousandpounds！What’sfivethousandpoundstous？What’sfivemillion？\"hesays。
\"What’sfivethousandmillion？Moneywillbenothingtous。Weshallneverbeabletospenditfastenough。\"
’\"We’lltrywhatwecando，Sir，\"saysTom。
’\"Wewill，\"saystheoldgentleman。\"Yourname？\"
’\"Grig，\"saysTom。
’Theoldgentlemanembracedhimagain，verytight；andwithoutspeakinganotherword，draggedhimintothehouseinsuchanexcitedmanner，thatitwasasmuchasTomcoulddototakehislinkandladderwithhim，andputthemdowninthepassage。
’Gentlemen，ifTomhadn’tbeenalwaysremarkableforhisloveoftruth，Ithinkyouwouldstillhavebelievedhimwhenhesaidthatallthiswaslikeadream。Thereisnobetterwayforamantofindoutwhetherheisreallyasleeporawake，thancallingforsomethingtoeat。Ifhe’sinadream，gentlemen，he’llfindsomethingwantinginflavour，dependuponit。
’Tomexplainedhisdoubtstotheoldgentleman，andsaidthatiftherewasanycoldmeatinthehouse，itwouldeasehismindverymuchtotesthimselfatonce。Theoldgentlemanorderedupavenisonpie，asmallham，andabottleofveryoldMadeira。Atthefirstmouthfulofpieandthefirstglassofwine，Tomsmackshislipsandcriesout，\"I’mawake—wideawake；\"andtoprovethathewasso，gentlemen，hemadeanendof’emboth。
’WhenTomhadfinishedhismeal（whichheneverspokeofafterwardswithouttearsinhiseyes），theoldgentlemanhugshimagain，andsays，\"Noblestranger！letusvisitmyyoungandlovelyniece。\"
Tom，whowasalittleelevatedwiththewine，replies，\"Thenoblestrangerisagreeable！\"Atwhichwordstheoldgentlemantookhimbythehand，andledhimtotheparlour；cryingasheopenedthedoor，\"HereisMr。Grig，thefavouriteoftheplanets！\"
’Iwillnotattemptadescriptionoffemalebeauty，gentlemen，foreveryoneofushasamodelofhisownthatsuitshisowntastebest。InthisparlourthatI’mspeakingof，thereweretwoyoungladies；andifeverygentlemanpresent，willimaginetwomodelsofhisownintheirplaces，andwillbekindenoughtopolish’emuptotheveryhighestpitchofperfection，hewillthenhaveafaintconceptionoftheiruncommonradiance。
’Besidesthesetwoyoungladies，therewastheirwaiting—woman，thatunderanyothercircumstancesTomwouldhavelookeduponasaVenus；andbesidesher，therewasatall，thin，dismal—facedyounggentleman，halfmanandhalfboy，dressedinachildishsuitofclothesverymuchtooshortinthelegsandarms；andlooking，accordingtoTom’scomparison，likeoneofthewaxjuvenilesfromatailor’sdoor，grownupandruntoseed。Now，thisyoungsterstampedhisfootuponthegroundandlookedveryfierceatTom，andTomlookedfierceathim—fortotellthetruth，gentlemen，Tommorethanhalfsuspectedthatwhentheyenteredtheroomhewaskissingoneoftheyoungladies；andforanythingTomknew，youobserve，itmightbeHISyounglady—whichwasnotpleasant。
’\"Sir，\"saysTom，\"beforeweproceedanyfurther，willyouhavethegoodnesstoinformmewhothisyoungSalamander\"—Tomcalledhimthatforaggravation，youperceive，gentlemen—\"whothisyoungSalamandermaybe？\"
’\"That，Mr。Grig，\"saystheoldgentleman，\"ismylittleboy。HewaschristenedGalileoIsaacNewtonFlamstead。Don’tmindhim。
He’samerechild。\"
’\"Andaveryfinechildtoo，\"saysTom—stillaggravating，you’llobserve—\"ofhisage，andasgoodasfine，Ihavenodoubt。Howdoyoudo，myman？\"withwhichkindandpatronisingexpressions，Tomreacheduptopathimonthehead，andquotedtwolinesaboutlittleboys，fromDoctorWatts’sHymns，whichhehadlearntataSundaySchool。
’Itwasveryeasytosee，gentlemen，bythisyoungster’sfrowningandbythewaiting—maid’stossingherheadandturninguphernose，andbytheyoungladiesturningtheirbacksandtalkingtogetherattheotherendoftheroom，thatnobodybuttheoldgentlemantookverykindlytothenoblestranger。Indeed，Tomplainlyheardthewaiting—womansayofhermaster，thatsofarfrombeingabletoreadthestarsashepretended，shedidn’tbelieveheknewhislettersin’em，oratbestthathehadgotfurtherthanwordsinonesyllable；butTom，notmindingthis（forhewasinspiritsaftertheMadeira），lookswithanagreeableairtowardstheyoungladies，and，kissinghishandtoboth，saystotheoldgentleman，\"Whichiswhich？\"
’\"This，\"saystheoldgentleman，leadingoutthehandsomest，ifoneof’emcouldpossiblybesaidtobehandsomerthantheother—
\"thisismyniece，MissFannyBarker。\"
’\"Ifyou’llpermitme，Miss，\"saysTom，\"beinganoblestrangerandafavouriteoftheplanets，Iwillconductmyselfassuch。\"Withthesewords，hekissestheyoungladyinaveryaffableway，turnstotheoldgentleman，slapshimontheback，andsays，\"When’sittocomeoff，mybuck？\"
’Theyoungladycolouredsodeep，andherliptrembledsomuch，gentlemen，thatTomreallythoughtshewasgoingtocry。Butshekeptherfeelingsdown，andturningtotheoldgentleman，says，\"Dearuncle，thoughyouhavetheabsolutedisposalofmyhandandfortune，andthoughyoumeanwellindisposingof’emthus，Iaskyouwhetheryoudon’tthinkthisisamistake？Don’tyouthink，dearuncle，\"shesays，\"thatthestarsmustbeinerror？Isitnotpossiblethatthecometmayhaveput’emout？\"
’\"Thestars，\"saystheoldgentleman，\"couldn’tmakeamistakeiftheytried。Emma，\"hesaystotheotheryounglady。
’\"Yes，papa，\"saysshe。
’\"ThesamedaythatmakesyourcousinMrs。GrigwilluniteyoutothegiftedMooney。Noremonstrance—notears。Now，Mr。Grig，letmeconductyoutothathallowedground，thatphilosophicalretreat，wheremyfriendandpartner，thegiftedMooneyofwhomIhavejustnowspoken，isevennowpursuingthosediscoverieswhichshallenrichuswiththepreciousmetal，andmakeusmastersoftheworld。Come，Mr。Grig，\"hesays。
’\"Withallmyheart，Sir，\"repliesTom；\"andlucktothegiftedMooney，sayI—notsomuchonhisaccountasforourworthyselves！\"Withthissentiment，Tomkissedhishandtotheladiesagain，andfollowedhimout；havingthegratificationtoperceive，ashelookedback，thattheywereallhangingonbythearmsandlegsofGalileoIsaacNewtonFlamstead，topreventhimfromfollowingthenoblestranger，andtearinghimtopieces。
’Gentlemen，Tom’sfather—in—lawthatwastobe，tookhimbythehand，andhavinglightedalittlelamp，ledhimacrossapavedcourt—yardatthebackofthehouse，intoaverylarge，dark，gloomyroom：filledwithallmannerofbottles，globes，books，telescopes，crocodiles，alligators，andotherscientificinstrumentsofeverykind。Inthecentreofthisroomwasastoveorfurnace，withwhatTomcalledapot，butwhichinmyopinionwasacrucible，infullboil。Inonecornerwasasortofladderleadingthroughtheroof；andupthisladdertheoldgentlemanpointed，ashesaidinawhisper：
’\"Theobservatory。Mr。Mooneyisevennowwatchingfortheprecisetimeatwhichwearetocomeintoalltherichesoftheearth。ItwillbenecessaryforheandI，aloneinthatsilentplace，tocastyournativitybeforethehourarrives。Putthedayandminuteofyourbirthonthispieceofpaper，andleavetheresttome。\"
’\"Youdon’tmeantosay，\"saysTom，doingashewastoldandgivinghimbackthepaper，\"thatI’mtowaitherelong，doyou？It’sapreciousdismalplace。\"
’\"Hush！\"saystheoldgentleman。\"It’shallowedground。
Farewell！\"
’\"Stopaminute，\"saysTom。\"Whatahurryyou’rein！What’sinthatlargebottleyonder？\"
’\"It’sachildwiththreeheads，\"saystheoldgentleman；\"andeverythingelseinproportion。\"
’\"Whydon’tyouthrowhimaway？\"saysTom。\"Whatdoyoukeepsuchunpleasantthingsherefor？\"
’\"Throwhimaway！\"criestheoldgentleman。\"Weusehimconstantlyinastrology。He’sacharm。\"
’\"Ishouldn’thavethoughtit，\"saysTom，\"fromhisappearance。
MUSTyougo，Isay？\"
’Theoldgentlemanmakeshimnoanswer，butclimbsuptheladderinagreaterbustlethanever。Tomlookedafterhislegstilltherewasnothingofhimleft，andthensatdowntowait；feeling（soheusedtosay）ascomfortableasifhewasgoingtobemadeafreemason，andtheywereheatingthepokers。
’Tomwaitedsolong，gentlemen，thathebegantothinkitmustbegettingonformidnightatleast，andfeltmoredismalandlonelythaneverhehaddoneinallhislife。Hetriedeverymeansofwhilingawaythetime，butitneverhadseemedtomovesoslow。
First，hetookanearerviewofthechildwiththreeheads，andthoughtwhatacomfortitmusthavebeentohisparents。Thenhelookedupalongtelescopewhichwaspointedoutofthewindow，butsawnothingparticular，inconsequenceofthestopperbeingonattheotherend。Thenhecametoaskeletoninaglasscase，labelled，\"SkeletonofaGentleman—preparedbyMr。Mooney，\"—
whichmadehimhopethatMr。Mooneymightnotbeinthehabitofpreparinggentlementhatwaywithouttheirownconsent。Ahundredtimes，atleast，helookedintothepotwheretheywereboilingthephilosopher’sstonedowntotheproperconsistency，andwonderedwhetheritwasnearlydone。\"Whenitis，\"thinksTom，\"I’llsendoutforsix—penn’orthofsprats，andturn’emintogoldfishforafirstexperiment。\"Besideswhich，hemadeuphismind，gentlemen，tohaveacountry—houseandapark；andtoplantabitofitwithadoublerowofgas—lampsamilelong，andgoouteverynightwithaFrench—polishedmahoganyladder，andtwoservantsinliverybehindhim，tolight’emforhisownpleasure。
’Atlengthandatlast，theoldgentleman’slegsappeareduponthestepsleadingthroughtheroof，andhecameslowlydown：bringingalongwithhim，thegiftedMooney。ThisMooney，gentlemen，wasevenmorescientificinappearancethanhisfriend；andhad，asTomoftendeclareduponhiswordandhonour，thedirtiestfacewecanpossiblyknowof，inthisimperfectstateofexistence。
’Gentlemen，youareallawarethatifascientificmanisn’tabsentinhismind，he’sofnogoodatall。Mr。Mooneywassoabsent，thatwhentheoldgentlemansaidtohim，\"ShakehandswithMr。
Grig，\"heputouthisleg。\"Here’samind，Mr。Grig！\"criestheoldgentlemaninarapture。\"Here’sphilosophy！Here’srumination！Don’tdisturbhim，\"hesays，\"forthisisamazing！\"
’Tomhadnowishtodisturbhim，havingnothingparticulartosay；
buthewassouncommonlyamazing，thattheoldgentlemangotimpatient，anddeterminedtogivehimanelectricshocktobringhimto—\"foryoumustknow，Mr。Grig，\"hesays，\"thatwealwayskeepastronglychargedbattery，readyforthatpurpose。\"Thesemeansbeingresortedto，gentlemen，thegiftedMooneyrevivedwithaloudroar，andhenosoonercametohimselfthanbothheandtheoldgentlemanlookedatTomwithcompassion，andshedtearsabundantly。
’\"Mydearfriend，\"saystheoldgentlemantotheGifted，\"preparehim。\"
’\"Isay，\"criesTom，fallingback，\"noneofthat，youknow。NopreparingbyMr。Mooneyifyouplease。\"
’\"Alas！\"repliestheoldgentleman，\"youdon’tunderstandus。Myfriend，informhimofhisfate。—Ican’t。\"
’TheGiftedmustereduphisvoice，aftermanyefforts，andinformedTomthathisnativityhadbeencarefullycast，andhewouldexpireatexactlythirty—fiveminutes，twenty—sevenseconds，andfive—
sixthsofasecondpastnineo’clock，a。m。，onthatdaytwomonths。
’Gentlemen，IleaveyoutojudgewhatwereTom’sfeelingsatthisannouncement，ontheeveofmatrimonyandendlessriches。\"I
think，\"hesaysinatremblingvoice，\"theremustbeamistakeintheworkingofthatsum。Willyoudomethefavourtocastitupagain？\"—\"Thereisnomistake，\"repliestheoldgentleman，\"itisconfirmedbyFrancisMoore，Physician。Hereisthepredictionforto—morrowtwomonths。\"Andheshowedhimthepage，wheresureenoughwerethesewords—\"Thedeceaseofagreatpersonmaybelookedfor，aboutthistime。\"
’\"Which，\"saystheoldgentleman，\"isclearlyyou，Mr。Grig。\"
’\"Tooclearly，\"criesTom，sinkingintoachair，andgivingonehandtotheoldgentleman，andonetotheGifted。\"TheorbofdayhassetonThomasGrigforever！\"
’Atthisaffectingremark，theGiftedshedtearsagain，andtheothertwomingledtheirtearswithhis，inakind—ifImayusetheexpression—ofMooneyandCo。’sentire。Buttheoldgentlemanrecoveringfirst，observedthatthiswasonlyareasonforhasteningthemarriage，inorderthatTom’sdistinguishedracemightbetransmittedtoposterity；andrequestingtheGiftedtoconsoleMr。Grigduringhistemporaryabsence，hewithdrewtosettlethepreliminarieswithhisnieceimmediately。
’Andnow，gentlemen，averyextraordinaryandremarkableoccurrencetookplace；forasTomsatinamelancholywayinonechair，andtheGiftedsatinamelancholywayinanother，acoupleofdoorswerethrownviolentlyopen，thetwoyoungladiesrushedin，andonekneltdowninalovingattitudeatTom’sfeet，andtheotherattheGifted’s。Sofar，perhaps，asTomwasconcerned—asheusedtosay—youwillsaytherewasnothingstrangeinthis：butyouwillbeofadifferentopinionwhenyouunderstandthatTom’syoungladywaskneelingtotheGifted，andtheGifted’syoungladywaskneelingtoTom。
’\"Halloa！stopaminute！\"criesTom；\"here’samistake。Ineedcondolingwithbysympathisingwoman，undermyafflictingcircumstances；butwe’reoutinthefigure。Changepartners，Mooney。\"
’\"Monster！\"criesTom’syounglady，clingingtotheGifted。
’\"Miss！\"saysTom。\"IsTHATyourmanners？\"
’\"Iabjurethee！\"criesTom’syounglady。\"Irenouncethee。I
neverwillbethine。Thou，\"shesaystotheGifted，\"arttheobjectofmyfirstandall—engrossingpassion。Wraptinthysublimevisions，thouhastnotperceivedmylove；but，driventodespair，Inowshakeoffthewomanandavowit。Oh，cruel，cruelman！\"WithwhichreproachshelaidherheadupontheGifted’sbreast，andputherarmsabouthiminthetenderestmannerpossible，gentlemen。
’\"AndI，\"saystheotheryounglady，inasortofecstasy，thatmadeTomstart—\"Iherebyabjuremychosenhusbandtoo。Hearme，Goblin！\"—thiswastotheGifted—\"Hearme！Iholdtheeinthedeepestdetestation。Themaddeninginterviewofthisonenighthasfilledmysoulwithlove—butnotforthee。Itisforthee，forthee，youngman，\"shecriestoTom。\"AsMonkLewisfinelyobserves，Thomas，Thomas，Iamthine，Thomas，Thomas，thouartmine：thineforever，mineforever！\"withwhichwords，shebecameverytenderlikewise。
’TomandtheGifted，gentlemen，asyoumaybelieve，lookedateachotherinaveryawkwardmanner，andwiththoughtsnotatallcomplimentarytothetwoyoungladies。AstotheGifted，IhaveheardTomsayoften，thathewascertainhewasinafit，andhaditinwardly。
’\"Speaktome！Oh，speaktome！\"criesTom’syoungladytotheGifted。
’\"Idon’twanttospeaktoanybody，\"hesays，findinghisvoiceatlast，andtryingtopushheraway。\"IthinkIhadbettergo。I’m—I’mfrightened，\"hesays，lookingaboutasifhehadlostsomething。
’\"Notonelookoflove！\"shecries。\"HearmewhileIdeclare—\"
’\"Idon’tknowhowtolookalookoflove，\"hesays，allinamaze。
\"Don’tdeclareanything。Idon’twanttohearanybody。\"
’\"That’sright！\"criestheoldgentleman（whoitseemshadbeenlistening）。\"That’sright！Don’thearher。Emmashallmarryyouto—morrow，myfriend，whethershelikesitornot，andSHEshallmarryMr。Grig。\"
’Gentlemen，thesewordswerenosooneroutofhismouththanGalileoIsaacNewtonFlamstead（whoitseemshadbeenlisteningtoo）dartsin，andspinningroundandround，likeayounggiant’stop，cries，\"Lether。Lether。I’mfierce；I’mfurious。Igiveherleave。I’llnevermarryanybodyafterthis—never。Itisn’tsafe。Sheisthefalsestofthefalse，\"hecries，tearinghishairandgnashinghisteeth；\"andI’llliveanddieabachelor！\"
’\"Thelittleboy，\"observedtheGiftedgravely，\"albeitoftenderyears，hasspokenwisdom。Ihavebeenledtothecontemplationofwoman—kind，andwillnotadventureonthetroubledwatersofmatrimony。\"
’\"What！\"saystheoldgentleman，\"notmarrymydaughter！Won’tyou，Mooney？NotifImakeher？Won’tyou？Won’tyou？\"
’\"No，\"saysMooney，\"Iwon’t。Andifanybodyasksmeanymore，I’llrunaway，andnevercomebackagain。\"
’\"Mr。Grig，\"saystheoldgentleman，\"thestarsmustbeobeyed。
Youhavenotchangedyourmindbecauseofalittlegirlishfolly—
eh，Mr。Grig？\"
’Tom，gentlemen，hadhadhiseyesabouthim，andwasprettysurethatallthiswasadeviceandtrickofthewaiting—maid，toputhimoffhisinclination。Hehadseenherhidingandskippingaboutthetwodoors，andhadobservedthataverylittlewhisperingfromherpacifiedtheSalamanderdirectly。\"So，\"thinksTom，\"thisisaplot—butitwon’tfit。\"
’\"Eh，Mr。Grig？\"saystheoldgentleman。
’\"Why，Sir，\"saysTom，pointingtothecrucible，\"ifthesoup’snearlyready—\"
’\"Anotherhourbeholdstheconsummationofourlabours，\"returnedtheoldgentleman。
’\"Verygood，\"saysTom，withamournfulair。\"It’sonlyfortwomonths，butImayaswellbetherichestmanintheworldevenforthattime。I’mnotparticular，I’lltakeher，Sir。I’lltakeher。\"
’TheoldgentlemanwasinarapturetofindTomstillinthesamemind，anddrawingtheyoungladytowardshimbylittleandlittle，wasjoiningtheirhandsbymainforce，whenallofasudden，gentlemen，thecrucibleblowsup，withagreatcrash；everybodyscreams；theroomisfilledwithsmoke；andTom，notknowingwhatmayhappennext，throwshimselfintoaFancyattitude，andsays，\"Comeon，ifyou’reaman！\"withoutaddressinghimselftoanybodyinparticular。
’\"Thelaboursoffifteenyears！\"saystheoldgentleman，claspinghishandsandlookingdownupontheGifted，whowassavingthepieces，\"aredestroyedinaninstant！\"—AndIamtold，gentlemen，by—the—bye，thatthissamephilosopher’sstonewouldhavebeendiscoveredahundredtimesatleast，tospeakwithinbounds，ifitwasn’tfortheoneunfortunatecircumstancethattheapparatusalwaysblowsup，whenit’sontheverypointofsucceeding。
’Tomturnspalewhenhehearstheoldgentlemanexpressinghimselftothisunpleasanteffect，andstammersoutthatifit’squiteagreeabletoallparties，hewouldliketoknowexactlywhathashappened，andwhatchangehasreallytakenplaceintheprospectsofthatcompany。
’\"Wehavefailedforthepresent，Mr。Grig，\"saystheoldgentleman，wipinghisforehead。\"AndIregretitthemore，becauseIhaveinfactinvestedmyniece’sfivethousandpoundsinthisgloriousspeculation。Butdon’tbecastdown，\"hesays，anxiously—\"inanotherfifteenyears，Mr。Grig—\"
\"Oh！\"criesTom，lettingtheyounglady’shandfall。\"Werethestarsverypositiveaboutthisunion，Sir？\"
’\"Theywere，\"saystheoldgentleman。
’\"I’msorrytohearit，\"Tommakesanswer，\"forit’snogo，Sir。\"
’\"Nowhat！\"criestheoldgentleman。
’\"Go，Sir，\"saysTom，fiercely。\"Iforbidthebanns。\"Andwiththesewords—whicharetheverywordsheused—hesathimselfdowninachair，and，layinghisheaduponthetable，thoughtwithasecretgriefofwhatwastocometopassonthatdaytwomonths。
’Tomalwayssaid，gentlemen，thatthatwaiting—maidwastheartfullestminxhehadeverseen；andheleftitinwritinginthiscountrywhenhewenttocolonizeabroad，thathewascertaininhisownmindsheandtheSalamanderhadblownupthephilosopher’sstoneonpurpose，andtocuthimoutofhisproperty。IbelieveTomwasintheright，gentlemen；butwhetherorno，shecomesforwardatthispoint，andsays，\"MayIspeak，Sir？\"andtheoldgentlemananswering，\"Yes，youmay，\"shegoesontosaythat\"thestarsarenodoubtquiterightineveryrespect，butTomisnottheman。\"Andshesays，\"Don’tyouremember，Sir，thatwhentheclockstruckfivethisafternoon，yougaveMasterGalileoarapontheheadwithyourtelescope，andtoldhimtogetoutoftheway？\"
\"Yes，Ido，\"saystheoldgentleman。\"Then，\"saysthewaiting—
maid，\"Isayhe’stheman，andtheprophecyisfulfilled。\"Theoldgentlemanstaggersatthis，asifsomebodyhadhithimablowonthechest，andcries，\"He！whyhe’saboy！\"Uponthat，gentlemen，theSalamandercriesoutthathe’llbetwenty—onenextLady—day；
andcomplainsthathisfatherhasalwaysbeensobusywiththesunroundwhichtheearthrevolves，thathehasnevertakenanynoticeofthesonthatrevolvesroundhim；andthathehasn’thadanewsuitofclothessincehewasfourteen；andthathewasn’teventakenoutofnankeenfrocksandtrouserstillhewasquiteunpleasantin’em；andtouchesonagoodmanymorefamilymatterstothesamepurpose。Tomakeshortofalongstory，gentlemen，theyalltalktogether，andcrytogether，andremindtheoldgentlemanthatastothenoblefamily，hisowngrandfatherwouldhavebeenlordmayorifhehadn’tdiedatadinnertheyearbefore；
andtheyshowhimbyallkindsofargumentsthatifthecousinsaremarried，thepredictioncomestrueeveryway。Atlast，theoldgentlemanbeingquiteconvinced，givesin；andjoinstheirhands；
andleaveshisdaughtertomarryanybodyshelikes；andtheyareallwellpleased；andtheGiftedaswellasanyofthem。
’Inthemiddleofthislittlefamilyparty，gentlemen，sitsTomallthewhile，asmiserableasyoulike。But，wheneverythingelseisarranged，theoldgentleman’sdaughtersays，thattheirstrangeconductwasalittledeviceofthewaiting—maid’stodisgustthelovershehadchosenfor’em，andwillheforgiveher？andifhewill，perhapshemightevenfindherahusband—andwhenshesaysthat，shelooksuncommonhardatTom。Thenthewaiting—maidsaysthat，ohdear！shecouldn’tabearMr。Grigshouldthinkshewantedhimtomarryher；andthatshehadevengonesofarastorefusethelastlamplighter，whowasnowaliterarycharacter（havingsetupasabill—sticker）；andthatshehopedMr。Grigwouldnotsupposeshewasonherlastlegsbyanymeans，forthebakerwasverystronginhisattentionsatthatmoment，andastothebutcher，hewasfrantic。AndIdon’tknowhowmuchmoreshemighthavesaid，gentlemen（for，asyouknow，thiskindofyoungwomenarerareonestotalk），iftheoldgentlemanhadn’tcutinsuddenly，andaskedTomifhe’dhaveher，withtenpoundstorecompensehimforhislossoftimeanddisappointment，andasakindofbribetokeepthestorysecret。
’\"Itdon’tmuchmatter，Sir，\"saysTom，\"Iain’tlongforthisworld。Eightweeksofmarriage，especiallywiththisyoungwoman，mightreconcilemetomyfate。Ithink，\"hesays，\"Icouldgooffeasyafterthat。\"Withwhichheembracesherwithaverydismalface，andgroansinawaythatmightmoveaheartofstone—evenofphilosopher’sstone。
’\"Egad，\"saystheoldgentleman，\"thatremindsme—thisbustleputitoutofmyhead—therewasafigurewrong。He’lllivetoagreenoldage—eighty—sevenatleast！\"
’\"Howmuch，Sir？\"criesTom。
’\"Eighty—seven！\"saystheoldgentleman。
’Withoutanotherword，Tomflingshimselfontheoldgentleman’sneck；throwsuphishat；cutsacaper；defiesthewaiting—maid；andrefershertothebutcher。
’\"Youwon’tmarryher！\"saystheoldgentleman，angrily。
’\"Andliveafterit！\"saysTom。\"I’dsoonermarryamermaidwithasmall—toothcombandlooking—glass。\"
’\"Thentaketheconsequences，\"saystheother。
’Withthosewords—Ibegyourkindattentionhere，gentlemen，forit’sworthyournotice—theoldgentlemanwettedtheforefingerofhisrighthandinsomeoftheliquorfromthecruciblethatwasspiltonthefloor，anddrewasmalltriangleonTom’sforehead。
Theroomswambeforehiseyes，andhefoundhimselfinthewatch—
house。’
’FoundhimselfWHERE？’criedthevice，onbehalfofthecompanygenerally。
’Inthewatch—house，’saidthechairman。’Itwaslateatnight，andhefoundhimselfintheverywatch—housefromwhichhehadbeenletoutthatmorning。’
’Didhegohome？’askedthevice。
’Thewatch—housepeopleratherobjectedtothat，’saidthechairman；’sohestoppedtherethatnight，andwentbeforethemagistrateinthemorning。\"Why，you’rehereagain，areyou？\"saysthemagistrate，addinginsulttoinjury；\"we’lltroubleyouforfiveshillingsmore，ifyoucanconvenientlysparethemoney。\"Tomtoldhimhehadbeenenchanted，butitwasofnouse。Hetoldthecontractorsthesame，buttheywouldn’tbelievehim。Itwasveryharduponhim，gentlemen，asheoftensaid，forwasitlikelyhe’dgoandinventsuchatale？Theyshooktheirheadsandtoldhimhe’dsayanythingbuthisprayers—asindeedhewould；there’snodoubtaboutthat。ItwastheonlyimputationonhismoralcharacterthateverIheardof。’