第2章

Rarx,Iputhiminthebow,asfarfromusasIcould。AndIputsomeofthebestmennearusinorderthatifIshoulddroptheremightbeaskilfulhandreadytotakethehelm。

Theseamoderatingasthesuncameup,thoughtheskywascloudyandwild,wespoketheotherboat,toknowwhatstorestheyhad,andtooverhaulwhatwehad。Ihadacompassinmypocket,asmalltelescope,adouble—barrelledpistol,aknife,andafire—boxandmatches。Mostofmymenhadknives,andsomehadalittletobacco:

some,apipeaswell。Wehadamugamongus,andanironspoon。Astoprovisions,therewereinmyboattwobagsofbiscuit,onepieceofrawbeef,onepieceofrawpork,abagofcoffee,roastedbutnotground(thrownin,Iimagine,bymistake,forsomethingelse),twosmallcasksofwater,andabouthalf—a—gallonofruminakeg。TheSurf—boat,havingrathermorerumthanwe,andfewertodrinkit,gaveus,asIestimated,anotherquartintoourkeg。Inreturn,wegavethemthreedoublehandfulsofcoffee,tiedupinapieceofahandkerchief;theyreportedthattheyhadaboardbesides,abagofbiscuit,apieceofbeef,asmallcaskofwater,asmallboxoflemons,andaDutchcheese。Ittookalongtimetomaketheseexchanges,andtheywerenotmadewithoutrisktobothparties;thesearunningquitehighenoughtomakeourapproachingneartooneanotherveryhazardous。Inthebundlewiththecoffee,IconveyedtoJohnSteadiman(whohadaship’scompasswithhim),apaperwritteninpencil,andtornfrommypocket—book,containingthecourseImeanttosteer,inthehopeofmakingland,orbeingpickedupbysomevessel——Isayinthehope,thoughIhadlittlehopeofeitherdeliverance。Ithensangouttohim,soasallmighthear,thatifwetwoboatscouldliveordietogether,wewould;but,thatifweshouldbepartedbytheweather,andjoincompanynomore,theyshouldhaveourprayersandblessings,andweaskedfortheirs。

Wethengavethemthreecheers,whichtheyreturned,andIsawthemen’sheadsdroopinbothboatsastheyfelltotheiroarsagain。

Thesearrangementshadoccupiedthegeneralattentionadvantageouslyforall,though(asIexpressedinthelastsentence)theyendedinasorrowfulfeeling。Inowsaidafewwordstomyfellow—voyagersonthesubjectofthesmallstockoffoodonwhichourlivesdependediftheywerepreservedfromthegreatdeep,andontherigidnecessityofourekingitoutinthemostfrugalmanner。OneandallrepliedthatwhateverallowanceIthoughtbesttolaydownshouldbestrictlykeptto。Wemadeapairofscalesoutofathinscrapofiron—platingandsometwine,andIgottogetherforweightssuchoftheheaviestbuttonsamongusasIcalculatedmadeupsomefractionovertwoounces。Thiswastheallowanceofsolidfoodservedoutoncea—daytoeach,fromthattimetotheend;withtheadditionofacoffee—berry,orsometimeshalfaone,whentheweatherwasveryfair,forbreakfast。Wehadnothingelsewhatever,buthalfapintofwatereachperday,andsometimes,whenwewerecoldestandweakest,ateaspoonfulofrumeach,servedoutasadram。Iknowhowlearnedlyitcanbeshownthatrumispoison,butIalsoknowthatinthiscase,asinallsimilarcasesIhaveeverreadof——whicharenumerous——nowordscanexpressthecomfortandsupportderivedfromit。NorhaveItheleastdoubtthatitsavedthelivesoffarmorethanhalfournumber。Havingmentionedhalfapintofwaterasourdailyallowance,Ioughttoobservethatsometimeswehadless,andsometimeswehadmore;formuchrainfell,andwecaughtitinacanvasstretchedforthepurpose。

Thus,atthattempestuoustimeoftheyear,andinthattempestuouspartoftheworld,weshipwreckedpeopleroseandfellwiththewaves。Itisnotmyintentiontorelate(ifIcanavoidit)suchcircumstancesappertainingtoourdolefulconditionashavebeenbettertoldinmanyothernarrativesofthekindthanIcanbeexpectedtotellthem。Iwillonlynote,insomanypassingwords,thatdayafterdayandnightafternight,wereceivedtheseauponourbackstopreventitfromswampingtheboat;thatonepartywasalwayskeptbaling,andthateveryhatandcapamongussoongotwornout,thoughpatchedupfiftytimes,astheonlyvesselswehadforthatservice;thatanotherpartylaydowninthebottomoftheboat,whileathirdrowed;andthatweweresoonallinboilsandblistersandrags。

TheotherboatwasasourceofsuchanxiousinteresttoallofusthatIusedtowonderwhether,ifweweresaved,thetimecouldevercomewhenthesurvivorsinthisboatofourscouldbeatallindifferenttothefortunesofthesurvivorsinthat。Wegotoutatow—ropewhenevertheweatherpermitted,butthatdidnotoftenhappen,andhowwetwopartieskeptwithinthesamehorizon,aswedid,He,whomercifullypermittedittobesoforourconsolation,onlyknows。Inevershallforgetthelookswithwhich,whenthemorninglightcame,weusedtogazeaboutusoverthestormywaters,fortheotherboat。Weoncepartedcompanyforseventy—twohours,andwebelievedthemtohavegonedown,astheydidus。Thejoyonbothsideswhenwecamewithinviewofoneanotheragain,hadsomethinginamannerDivineinit;eachwassoforgetfulofindividualsuffering,intearsofdelightandsympathyforthepeopleintheotherboat。

Ihavebeenwantingtogetroundtotheindividualorpersonalpartofmysubject,asIcallit,andtheforegoingincidentputsmeintherightway。Thepatienceandgooddispositionaboardofus,waswonderful。Iwasnotsurprisedbyitinthewomen;forallmenbornofwomenknowwhatgreatqualitiestheywillshowwhenmenwillfail;but,IownIwasalittlesurprisedbyitinsomeofthemen。

Amongone—and—thirtypeopleassembledatthebestoftimes,therewillusually,Ishouldsay,betwoorthreeuncertaintempers。I

knewthatIhadmorethanoneroughtemperwithmeamongmyownpeople,forIhadchosenthosefortheLong—boatthatImighthavethemundermyeye。But,theysoftenedundertheirmisery,andwereasconsiderateoftheladies,andascompassionateofthechild,asthebestamongus,oramongmen——theycouldnothavebeenmoreso。

Iheardscarcelyanycomplaining。Thepartylyingdownwouldmoanagooddealintheirsleep,andIwouldoftennoticeaman——notalwaysthesameman,itistobeunderstood,butnearlyallofthematonetimeorother——sittingmoaningathisoar,orinhisplace,ashelookedmistilyoverthesea。WhenithappenedtobelongbeforeI

couldcatchhiseye,hewouldgoonmoaningallthetimeinthedismallestmanner;but,whenourlooksmet,hewouldbrightenandleaveoff。Ialmostalwaysgottheimpressionthathedidnotknowwhatsoundhehadbeenmaking,butthathethoughthehadbeenhummingatune。

Oursufferingsfromcoldandwetwerefargreaterthanoursufferingsfromhunger。Wemanagedtokeepthechildwarm;but,I

doubtifanyoneelseamonguseverwaswarmforfiveminutestogether;andtheshivering,andthechatteringofteeth,weresadtohear。Thechildcriedalittleatfirstforherlostplayfellow,theGoldenMary;buthardlyeverwhimperedafterwards;andwhenthestateoftheweathermadeitpossible,sheusednowandthentobeheldupinthearmsofsomeofus,tolookovertheseaforJohnSteadiman’sboat。Iseethegoldenhairandtheinnocentfacenow,betweenmeandthedrivingclouds,likeanangelgoingtoflyaway。

Ithadhappenedonthesecondday,towardsnight,thatMrs。

Atherfield,ingettingLittleLucytosleep,sangherasong。Shehadasoft,melodiousvoice,and,whenshehadfinishedit,ourpeopleupandbeggedforanother。Shesangthemanother,andafterithadfallendarkendedwiththeEveningHymn。Fromthattime,wheneveranythingcouldbeheardabovetheseaandwind,andwhileshehadanyvoiceleft,nothingwouldservethepeoplebutthatsheshouldsingatsunset。Shealwaysdid,andalwaysendedwiththeEveningHymn。Wemostlytookupthelastline,andshedtearswhenitwasdone,butnotmiserably。Wehadaprayernightandmorning,also,whentheweatherallowedofit。

Twelvenightsandelevendayswehadbeendrivingintheboat,whenoldMr。Rarxbegantobedelirious,andtocryouttometothrowthegoldoverboardoritwouldsinkus,andweshouldallbelost。

Fordayspastthechildhadbeendeclining,andthatwasthegreatcauseofhiswildness。Hehadbeenoverandoveragainshriekingouttometogiveheralltheremainingmeat,togiveheralltheremainingrum,tosaveheratanycost,orweshouldallberuined。

Atthistime,shelayinhermother’sarmsatmyfeet。Oneofherlittlehandswasalmostalwayscreepingabouthermother’sneckorchin。Ihadwatchedthewastingofthelittlehand,andIknewitwasnearlyover。

Theoldman’scriesweresodiscordantwiththemother’sloveandsubmission,thatIcalledouttohiminanangryvoice,unlessheheldhispeaceontheinstant,Iwouldorderhimtobeknockedontheheadandthrownoverboard。Hewasmutethen,untilthechilddied,verypeacefully,anhourafterwards:whichwasknowntoallintheboatbythemother’sbreakingoutintolamentationsforthefirsttimesincethewreck——for,shehadgreatfortitudeandconstancy,thoughshewasalittlegentlewoman。OldMr。Rarxthenbecamequiteungovernable,tearingwhatragshehadonhim,raginginimprecations,andcallingtomethatifIhadthrownthegoldoverboard(alwaysthegoldwithhim!)Imighthavesavedthechild。

\"Andnow,\"sayshe,inaterriblevoice,\"weshallfounder,andallgototheDevil,foroursinswillsinkus,whenwehavenoinnocentchildtobearusup!\"Wesodiscoveredwithamazement,thatthisoldwretchhadonlycaredforthelifeoftheprettylittlecreaturedeartoallofus,becauseoftheinfluencehesuperstitiouslyhopedshemighthaveinpreservinghim!Altogetheritwastoomuchforthesmithorarmourer,whowassittingnexttheoldman,tobear。

Hetookhimbythethroatandrolledhimunderthethwarts,wherehelaystillenoughforhoursafterwards。

Allthatthirteenthnight,MissColeshaw,lyingacrossmykneesasI

keptthehelm,comfortedandsupportedthepoormother。Herchild,coveredwithapea—jacketofmine,layinherlap。IttroubledmeallnighttothinkthattherewasnoPrayer—Bookamongus,andthatIcouldrememberbutveryfewoftheexactwordsoftheburialservice。WhenIstoodupatbroadday,allknewwhatwasgoingtobedone,andInoticedthatmypoorfellowsmadethemotionofuncoveringtheirheads,thoughtheirheadshadbeenstarkbaretotheskyandseaformanyawearyhour。Therewasalongheavyswellon,butotherwiseitwasafairmorning,andtherewerebroadfieldsofsunlightonthewavesintheeast。Isaidnomorethanthis:\"I

amtheResurrectionandtheLife,saiththeLord。HeraisedthedaughterofJairustheruler,andsaidshewasnotdeadbutslept。

Heraisedthewidow’sson。HearoseHimself,andwasseenofmany。

Helovedlittlechildren,saying,SufferthemtocomeuntoMeandrebukethemnot,forofsuchisthekingdomofheaven。InHisname,myfriends,andcommittedtoHismercifulgoodness!\"WiththosewordsIlaidmyroughfacesoftlyontheplacidlittleforehead,andburiedtheGoldenLucyinthegraveoftheGoldenMary。

Havinghaditonmymindtorelatetheendofthisdearlittlechild,Ihaveomittedsomethingfromitsexactplace,whichIwillsupplyhere。Itwillcomequiteaswellhereasanywhereelse。

Foreseeingthatiftheboatlivedthroughthestormyweather,thetimemustcome,andsooncome,whenweshouldhaveabsolutelynomorseltoeat,Ihadonemomentouspointofteninmythoughts。

AlthoughIhad,yearsbeforethat,fullysatisfiedmyselfthattheinstancesinwhichhumanbeingsinthelastdistresshavefeduponeachother,areexceedinglyfew,andhaveveryseldomindeed(ifever)occurredwhenthepeopleindistress,howeverdreadfultheirextremity,havebeenaccustomedtomoderateforbearanceandrestraint;Isay,thoughIhadlongbeforequitesatisfiedmymindonthistopic,Ifeltdoubtfulwhethertheremightnothavebeeninformercasessomeharmanddangerfromkeepingitoutofsightandpretendingnottothinkofit。Ifeltdoubtfulwhethersomeminds,growingweakwithfastingandexposureandhavingsuchaterrificideatodwelluponinsecret,mightnotmagnifyituntilitgottohaveanawfulattractionaboutit。Thiswasnotanewthoughtofmine,forithadgrownoutofmyreading。However,itcameovermestrongerthanithadeverdonebefore——asithadreasonfordoing——

intheboat,andonthefourthdayIdecidedthatIwouldbringoutintothelightthatunformedfearwhichmusthavebeenmoreorlessdarklyineverybrainamongus。Therefore,asameansofbeguilingthetimeandinspiringhope,IgavethemthebestsummaryinmypowerofBligh’svoyageofmorethanthreethousandmiles,inanopenboat,aftertheMutinyoftheBounty,andofthewonderfulpreservationofthatboat’screw。Theylistenedthroughoutwithgreatinterest,andIconcludedbytellingthem,that,inmyopinion,thehappiestcircumstanceinthewholenarrativewas,thatBligh,whowasnodelicatemaneither,hadsolemnlyplaceditonrecordthereinthathewassureandcertainthatundernoconceivablecircumstanceswhateverwouldthatemaciatedparty,whohadgonethroughallthepainsoffamine,havepreyedononeanother。Icannotdescribethevisiblereliefwhichthisspreadthroughtheboat,andhowthetearsstoodineveryeye。FromthattimeIwasaswellconvincedasBlighhimselfthattherewasnodanger,andthatthisphantom,atanyrate,didnothauntus。

Now,itwasapartofBligh’sexperiencethatwhenthepeopleinhisboatweremostcastdown,nothingdidthemsomuchgoodashearingastorytoldbyoneoftheirnumber。WhenImentionedthat,Isawthatitstruckthegeneralattentionasmuchasitdidmyown,forI

hadnotthoughtofituntilIcametoitinmysummary。ThiswasonthedayafterMrs。Atherfieldfirstsangtous。Iproposedthat,whenevertheweatherwouldpermit,weshouldhaveastorytwohoursafterdinner(IalwaysissuedtheallowanceIhavementionedatoneo’clock,andcalleditbythatname),aswellasoursongatsunset。

Theproposalwasreceivedwithacheerfulsatisfactionthatwarmedmyheartwithinme;andIdonotsaytoomuchwhenIsaythatthosetwoperiodsinthefour—and—twentyhourswereexpectedwithpositivepleasure,andwerereallyenjoyedbyallhands。Spectresaswesoonwereinourbodilywasting,ourimaginationsdidnotperishlikethegrossfleshuponourbones。MusicandAdventure,twoofthegreatgiftsofProvidencetomankind,couldcharmuslongafterthatwaslost。

Thewindwasalmostalwaysagainstusafterthesecondday;andformanydaystogetherwecouldnotnearlyholdourown。Wehadallvarietiesofbadweather。Wehadrain,hail,snow,wind,mist,thunderandlightning。Stilltheboatslivedthroughtheheavyseas,andstillweperishingpeopleroseandfellwiththegreatwaves。

Sixteennightsandfifteendays,twentynightsandnineteendays,twenty—fournightsandtwenty—threedays。Sothetimewenton。

DishearteningasIknewthatourprogress,orwantofprogress,mustbe,Ineverdeceivedthemastomycalculationsofit。Inthefirstplace,Ifeltthatwewerealltooneareternityfordeceit;inthesecondplace,IknewthatifIfailed,ordied,themanwhofollowedmemusthaveaknowledgeofthetruestateofthingstobeginupon。

WhenItoldthematnoon,whatIreckonedwehadmadeorlost,theygenerallyreceivedwhatIsaidinatranquilandresignedmanner,andalwaysgratefullytowardsme。Itwasnotunusualatanytimeofthedayforsomeonetoburstoutweepingloudlywithoutanynewcause;and,whentheburstwasover,tocalmdownalittlebetterthanbefore。Ihadseenexactlythesamethinginahouseofmourning。

Duringthewholeofthistime,oldMr。Rarxhadhadhisfitsofcallingouttometothrowthegold(alwaysthegold!)overboard,andofheapingviolentreproachesuponmefornothavingsavedthechild;butnow,thefoodbeingallgone,andIhavingnothinglefttoserveoutbutabitofcoffee—berrynowandthen,hebegantobetooweaktodothis,andconsequentlyfellsilent。Mrs。AtherfieldandMissColeshawgenerallylay,eachwithanarmacrossoneofmyknees,andherheaduponit。Theynevercomplainedatall。Uptothetimeofherchild’sdeath,Mrs。Atherfieldhadboundupherownbeautifulhaireveryday;andItookparticularnoticethatthiswasalwaysbeforeshesanghersongatnight,wheneveryonelookedather。Butsheneverdiditafterthelossofherdarling;anditwouldhavebeennowalltangledwithdirtandwet,butthatMissColeshawwascarefulofitlongaftershewasherself,andwouldsometimessmoothitdownwithherweakthinhands。

Wewerepastmusteringastorynow;butoneday,ataboutthisperiod,IrevertedtothesuperstitionofoldMr。Rarx,concerningtheGoldenLucy,andtoldthemthatnothingvanishedfromtheeyeofGod,thoughmuchmightpassawayfromtheeyesofmen。\"Wewereallofus,\"saysI,\"childrenonce;andourbabyfeethavestrolledingreenwoodsashore;andourbabyhandshavegatheredflowersingardens,wherethebirdsweresinging。Thechildrenthatwewere,arenotlosttothegreatknowledgeofourCreator。ThoseinnocentcreatureswillappearwithusbeforeHim,andpleadforus。Whatwewereinthebesttimeofourgenerousyouthwillariseandgowithustoo。Thepurestpartofourliveswillnotdesertusatthepasstowhichallofusherepresentaregliding。Whatwewerethen,willbeasmuchinexistencebeforeHim,aswhatwearenow。\"Theywerenolesscomfortedbythisconsideration,thanIwasmyself;andMissColeshaw,drawingmyearnearertoherlips,said,\"CaptainRavender,Iwasonmywaytomarryadisgracedandbrokenman,whomIdearlylovedwhenhewashonourableandgood。Yourwordsseemtohavecomeoutofmyownpoorheart。\"Shepressedmyhanduponit,smiling。

Twenty—sevennightsandtwenty—sixdays。Wewereinnowantofrain—water,butwehadnothingelse。Andyet,evennow,Ineverturnedmyeyesuponawakingfacebutittriedtobrightenbeforemine。O,whatathingitis,inatimeofdangerandinthepresenceofdeath,theshiningofafaceuponaface!Ihavehearditbroachedthatordersshouldbegiveningreatnewshipsbyelectrictelegraph。Iadmiremachineryasmuchisanyman,andamasthankfultoitasanymancanbeforwhatitdoesforus。Butitwillneverbeasubstituteforthefaceofaman,withhissoulinit,encouraginganothermantobebraveandtrue。Nevertryitforthat。Itwillbreakdownlikeastraw。

InowbegantoremarkcertainchangesinmyselfwhichIdidnotlike。Theycausedmemuchdisquiet。IoftensawtheGoldenLucyintheairabovetheboat。IoftensawherIhavespokenofbefore,sittingbesideme。IsawtheGoldenMarygodown,asshereallyhadgonedown,twentytimesinaday。Andyettheseawasmostly,tomythinking,notseaneither,butmovingcountryandextraordinarymountainousregions,thelikeofwhichhaveneverbeenbeheld。I

feltittimetoleavemylastwordsregardingJohnSteadiman,incaseanylipsshouldlastouttorepeatthemtoanylivingears。I

saidthatJohnhadtoldme(ashehadondeck)thathehadsungout\"Breakersahead!\"theinstanttheywereaudible,andhadtriedtowearship,butshestruckbeforeitcouldbedone。(Hiscry,Idaresay,hadmademydream。)Isaidthatthecircumstanceswerealtogetherwithoutwarning,andoutofanycoursethatcouldhavebeenguardedagainst;thatthesamelosswouldhavehappenedifI

hadbeenincharge;andthatJohnwasnottoblame,butfromfirsttolasthaddonehisdutynobly,likethemanhewas。Itriedtowriteitdowninmypocket—book,butcouldmakenowords,thoughI

knewwhatthewordswerethatIwantedtomake。Whenithadcometothat,herhands——thoughshewasdeadsolong——laidmedowngentlyinthebottomoftheboat,andsheandtheGoldenLucyswungmetosleep。

ALLTHATFOLLOWS,WASWRITTENBYJOHNSTEADIMAN,CHIEFMATE,Onthetwenty—sixthdayafterthefounderingoftheGoldenMaryatsea,I,JohnSteadiman,wassittinginmyplaceinthestern—sheetsoftheSurf—boat,withjustsenseenoughleftinmetosteer——thatistosay,withmyeyesstrained,wide—awake,overthebowsoftheboat,andmybrainsfastasleepanddreaming——whenIwasrouseduponasuddenbyoursecondmate,Mr。WilliamRames。

\"Letmetakeaspellinyourplace,\"sayshe。\"AndlookyououtfortheLong—boatastern。Thelasttimesheroseonthecrestofawave,IthoughtImadeoutasignalflyingaboardher。\"

Weshiftedourplaces,clumsilyandslowlyenough,forwewerebothofusweakanddazedwithwet,cold,andhunger。Iwaitedsometime,watchingtheheavyrollersastern,beforetheLong—boatrosea—topofoneofthematthesametimewithus。Atlast,shewasheavedupforamomentwellinview,andthere,sureenough,wasthesignalflyingaboardofher——astripofragofsomesort,riggedtoanoar,andhoistedinherbows。

\"Whatdoesitmean?\"saysRamestomeinaquavering,tremblingsortofvoice。\"Dotheysignalasailinsight?\"

\"Hush,forGod’ssake!\"saysI,clappingmyhandoverhismouth。

\"Don’tletthepeoplehearyou。They’llallgomadtogetherifwemisleadthemaboutthatsignal。Waitabit,tillIhaveanotherlookatit。\"

Iheldonbyhim,forhehadsetmeallofatremblewithhisnotionofasailinsight,andwatchedfortheLong—boatagain。Upsheroseonthetopofanotherroller。Imadeoutthesignalclearly,thatsecondtime,andsawthatitwasriggedhalf—masthigh。

\"Rames,\"saysI,\"it’sasignalofdistress。Passthewordforwardtokeepherbeforethesea,andnomore。WemustgettheLong—boatwithinhailingdistanceofus,assoonaspossible。\"

Idroppeddownintomyoldplaceatthetillerwithoutanotherword—

—forthethoughtwentthroughmelikeaknifethatsomethinghadhappenedtoCaptainRavender。Ishouldconsidermyselfunworthytowriteanotherlineofthisstatement,ifIhadnotmadeupmymindtospeakthetruth,thewholetruth,andnothingbutthetruth——andImust,therefore,confessplainlythatnow,forthefirsttime,myheartsankwithinme。Thisweaknessonmypartwasproducedinsomedegree,asItakeit,bytheexhaustingeffectsofpreviousanxietyandgrief。

Ourprovisions——ifImaygivethatnametowhatwehadleft——werereducedtotherindofonelemonandaboutacoupleofhandsfullofcoffee—berries。Besidesthesegreatdistresses,causedbythedeath,thedanger,andthesufferingamongmycrewandpassengers,I

hadhadalittledistressofmyowntoshakemestillmore,inthedeathofthechildwhomIhadgottobeveryfondofonthevoyageout——sofondthatIwassecretlyalittlejealousofherbeingtakenintheLong—boatinsteadofminewhentheshipfoundered。Itusedtobeagreatcomforttome,andIthinktothosewithmealso,afterwehadseenthelastoftheGoldenMary,toseetheGoldenLucy,heldupbythemenintheLong—boat,whentheweatherallowedit,asthebestandbrightestsighttheyhadtoshow。Shelooked,atthedistancewesawherfrom,almostlikealittlewhitebirdintheair。Tomissherforthefirsttime,whentheweatherlulledalittleagain,andwealllookedoutforourwhitebirdandlookedinvain,wasasoredisappointment。Toseethemen’sheadsboweddownandthecaptain’shandpointingintotheseawhenwehailedtheLong—boat,afewdaysafter,gavemeasheavyashockandassharpapangofheartachetobearaseverIremembersufferinginallmylife。IonlymentionthesethingstoshowthatifIdidgivewayalittleatfirst,underthedreadthatourcaptainwaslosttous,itwasnotwithouthavingbeenagooddealshakenbeforehandbymoretrialsofonesortoranotherthanoftenfalltooneman’sshare。

Ihadgotoverthechokinginmythroatwiththehelpofadropofwater,andhadsteadiedmymindagainsoastobepreparedagainsttheworst,whenIheardthehail(Lordhelpthepoorfellows,howweakitsounded!)—

\"Surf—boat,ahoy!\"

Ilookedup,andtherewereourcompanionsinmisfortunetossingabreastofus;notsonearthatwecouldmakeoutthefeaturesofanyofthem,butnearenough,withsomeexertionforpeopleinourcondition,tomaketheirvoicesheardintheintervalswhenthewindwasweakest。

Iansweredthehail,andwaitedabit,andheardnothing,andthensungoutthecaptain’sname。Thevoicethatreplieddidnotsoundlikehis;thewordsthatreacheduswere:

\"Chief—matewantedonboard!\"

EverymanofmycrewknewwhatthatmeantaswellasIdid。Assecondofficerincommand,therecouldbebutonereasonforwantingmeonboardtheLong—boat。Agroanwentallroundus,andmymenlookeddarklyineachother’sfaces,andwhisperedundertheirbreaths:

\"Thecaptainisdead!\"

Icommandedthemtobesilent,andnottomaketoosureofbadnews,atsuchapassasthingshadnowcometowithus。Then,hailingtheLong—boat,IsignifiedthatIwasreadytogoonboardwhentheweatherwouldletme——stoppedabittodrawagoodlongbreath——andthencalledoutasloudasIcouldthedreadfulquestion:

\"Isthecaptaindead?\"

Theblackfiguresofthreeorfourmenintheafter—partoftheLong—boatallstoopeddowntogetherasmyvoicereachedthem。Theywerelosttoviewforaboutaminute;thenappearedagain——onemanamongthemwashelduponhisfeetbytherest,andhehailedbacktheblessedwords(averyfainthopewentaverylongwaywithpeopleinourdesperatesituation):\"Notyet!\"

Therelieffeltbyme,andbyallwithme,whenweknewthatourcaptain,thoughunfittedforduty,wasnotlosttous,itisnotinwords——atleast,notinsuchwordsasamanlikemecancommand——toexpress。Ididmybesttocheerthemenbytellingthemwhatagoodsignitwasthatwewerenotasbadlyoffyetaswehadfeared;andthencommunicatedwhatinstructionsIhadtogive,toWilliamRames,whowastobeleftincommandinmyplacewhenItookchargeoftheLong—boat。Afterthat,therewasnothingtobedone,buttowaitforthechanceofthewinddroppingatsunset,andtheseagoingdownafterwards,soastoenableourweakcrewstolaythetwoboatsalongsideofeachother,withoutunduerisk——or,toputitplainer,withoutsaddlingourselveswiththenecessityforanyextraordinaryexertionofstrengthorskill。Boththeoneandtheotherhadnowbeenstarvedoutofusfordaysanddaystogether。

Atsunsetthewindsuddenlydropped,butthesea,whichhadbeenrunninghighforsolongatimepast,tookhoursafterthatbeforeitshowedanysignsofgettingtorest。Themoonwasshining,theskywaswonderfullyclear,anditcouldnothavebeen,accordingtomycalculations,faroffmidnight,whenthelong,slow,regularswellofthecalmingoceanfairlysetin,andItooktheresponsibilityoflesseningthedistancebetweentheLong—boatandourselves。

Itwas,Idaresay,adelusionofmine;butIthoughtIhadneverseenthemoonshinesowhiteandghastlyanywhere,eitheronseaoronland,assheshonethatnightwhilewewereapproachingourcompanionsinmisery。Whentherewasnotmuchmorethanaboat’slengthbetweenus,andthewhitelightstreamedcoldandclearoverallourfaces,bothcrewsrestedontheiroarswithonegreatshudder,andstaredoverthegunwaleofeitherboat,panic—strickenatthefirstsightofeachother。

\"Anyliveslostamongyou?\"Iasked,inthemidstofthatfrightfulsilence。

ThemenintheLong—bouthuddledtogetherlikesheepatthesoundofmyvoice。

\"Noneyet,butthechild,thanksbetoGod!\"answeredoneamongthem。

Andatthesoundofhisvoice,allmymenshranktogetherlikethemenintheLong—boat。Iwasafraidtoletthehorrorproducedbyourfirstmeetingatclosequartersafterthedreadfulchangesthatwet,cold,andfaminehadproduced,lastonemomentlongerthancouldbehelped;so,withoutgivingtimeforanymorequestionsandanswers,Icommandedthementolaythetwoboatsclosealongsideofeachother。WhenIroseupandcommittedthetillertothehandsofRames,allmypoorfollowsraisedtheirwhitefacesimploringlytomine。\"Don’tleaveus,sir,\"theysaid,\"don’tleaveus。\"\"Ileaveyou,\"saysI,\"underthecommandandtheguidanceofMr。WilliamRames,asgoodasailorasIam,andastrustyandkindamanaseverstepped。Doyourdutybyhim,asyouhavedoneitbyme;andremembertothelast,thatwhilethereislifethereishope。Godblessandhelpyouall!\"WiththosewordsIcollectedwhatstrengthIhadleft,andcaughtattwoarmsthatwereheldouttome,andsogotfromthestern—sheetsofoneboatintothestern—sheetsoftheother。

\"Mindwhereyoustep,sir,\"whisperedoneofthemenwhohadhelpedmeintotheLong—boat。Ilookeddownashespoke。Threefigureswerehuddledupbelowme,withthemoonshinefallingontheminraggedstreaksthroughthegapsbetweenthemenstandingorsittingabovethem。ThefirstfaceImadeoutwasthefaceofMissColeshaw,hereyeswerewideopenandfixedonme。Sheseemedstilltokeephersenses,and,bythealternatepartingandclosingofherlips,tobetryingtospeak,butIcouldnothearthatsheutteredasingleword。OnhershoulderrestedtheheadofMrs。Atherfield。

ThemotherofourpoorlittleGoldenLucymust,Ithink,havebeendreamingofthechildshehadlost;fortherewasafaintsmilejustrufflingthewhitestillnessofherface,whenIfirstsawitturnedupward,withpeacefulclosedeyestowardstheheavens。Fromher,I

lookeddownalittle,andthere,withhisheadonherlap,andwithoneofherhandsrestingtenderlyonhischeek——therelaytheCaptain,towhosehelpandguidance,uptothismiserabletime,wehadneverlookedinvain,——there,wornoutatlastinourservice,andforoursakes,laythebestandbravestmanofallourcompany。

Istolemyhandingentlythroughhisclothesandlaiditonhisheart,andfeltalittlefeeblewarmthoverit,thoughmycolddulledtouchcouldnotdetecteventhefaintestbeating。Thetwomeninthestern—sheetswithme,noticingwhatIwasdoing——knowingIlovedhimlikeabrother——andseeing,Isuppose,moredistressinmyfacethanImyselfwasconsciousofitsshowing,lostcommandoverthemselvesaltogether,andburstintoapiteousmoaning,sobbinglamentationoverhim。Oneofthetwodrewasideajacketfromhisfeet,andshowedmethattheywerebare,exceptwhereawet,raggedstripofstockingstillclungtooneofthem。WhentheshipstrucktheIceberg,hehadrunondeckleavinghisshoesinhiscabin。Allthroughthevoyageintheboathisfeethadbeenunprotected;andnotasoulhaddiscoveredituntilhedropped!Aslongashecouldkeephiseyesopen,theverylookofthemhadcheeredthemen,andcomfortedandupheldthewomen。Notonelivingcreatureintheboat,withanysenseabouthim,buthadfeltthegoodinfluenceofthatbravemaninonewayoranother。Notonebuthadheardhim,overandoveragain,givethecredittootherswhichwasdueonlytohimself;praisingthismanforpatience,andthankingthatmanforhelp,whenthepatienceandthehelphadreallyandtruly,astothebestpartofboth,comeonlyfromhim。

Allthis,andmuchmore,Iheardpouringconfusedlyfromthemen’slipswhiletheycroucheddown,sobbingandcryingovertheircommander,andwrappingthejacketaswarmlyandtenderlyastheycouldoveriscoldfeet。Itwenttomyhearttocheckthem;butI

knewthatifthislamentingspiritspreadanyfurther,allchanceofkeepingalightanylastsparksofhopeandresolutionamongtheboat’scompanywouldbelostforever。AccordinglyIsentthemtotheirplaces,spokeafewencouragingwordstothemenforward,promisingtoserveout,whenthemorningcame,asmuchasIdared,ofanyeatablethingleftinthelockers;calledtoRames,inmyoldboat,tokeepasnearusashesafelycould;drewthegarmentsandcoveringsofthetwopoorsufferingwomenmorecloselyaboutthem;

and,withasecretprayertobedirectedforthebestinbearingtheawfulresponsibilitynowlaidonmyshoulders,tookmyCaptain’svacantplaceatthehelmoftheLong—boat。

This,aswellasIcantellit,isthefullandtrueaccountofhowIcametobeplacedinchargeofthelostpassengersandcrewoftheGoldenMary,onthemorningofthetwenty—seventhdayaftertheshipstrucktheIceberg,andfounderedatsea。