Maybehehasforgottenwherehereallydidputit，andistryingtoremember。I’llgivehimanotherchance。\"
TheghostappearedgratefulanddelightedatseeingJoepreparetofollowhim，andledthewayintotheattic，pointedtotheceiling，andvanished。
\"Well，he’shititthistime，Idohope，\"saidmybrother—in—law；
andnextdaytheysettoworktotaketheroofofftheplace。
Ittookthemthreedaystogettheroofthoroughlyoff，andalltheyfoundwasabird’snest；aftersecuringwhichtheycoveredupthehousewithtarpaulins，tokeepitdry。
Youmighthavethoughtthatwouldhavecuredthepoorfellowoflookingfortreasure。Butitdidn’t。
Hesaidtheremustbesomethinginitall，ortheghostwouldneverkeeponcomingasitdid；andthat，havinggonesofar，hewouldgoontotheend，andsolvethemystery，costwhatitmight。
Nightafternight，hewouldgetoutofhisbedandfollowthatspectraloldfraudaboutthehouse。Eachnight，theoldmanwouldindicateadifferentplace；and，oneachfollowingday，mybrother—
in—lawwouldproceedtobreakupthemillatthepointindicated，andlookforthetreasure。Attheendofthreeweeks，therewasnotaroominthemillfittolivein。Everywallhadbeenpulleddown，everyfloorhadbeentakenup，everyceilinghadhadaholeknockedinit。Andthen，assuddenlyastheyhadbegun，theghost’svisitsceased；andmybrother—in—lawwasleftinpeace，torebuildtheplaceathisleisure。
\"Whatinducedtheoldimagetoplaysuchasillytrickuponafamilymanandaratepayer？\"Ah！that’sjustwhatIcannottellyou。
Somesaidthattheghostofthewickedoldmanhaddoneittopunishmybrother—in—lawfornotbelievinginhimatfirst；whileothersheldthattheapparitionwasprobablythatofsomedeceasedlocalplumberandglazier，whowouldnaturallytakeaninterestinseeingahouseknockedaboutandspoilt。Butnobodyknewanythingforcertain。
INTERLUDE
Wehadsomemorepunch，andthenthecuratetoldusastory。
Icouldnotmakeheadortailofthecurate’sstory，soIcannotretailittoyou。Wenoneofuscouldmakeheadortailofthatstory。Itwasagoodstoryenough，sofarasmaterialwent。Thereseemedtobeanenormousamountofplot，andenoughincidenttohavemadeadozennovels。Ineverbeforeheardastorycontainingsomuchincident，noronedealingwithsomanyvariedcharacters。
Ishouldsaythateveryhumanbeingourcuratehadeverknownormet，orheardof，wasbroughtintothatstory。Thereweresimplyhundredsofthem。Everyfivesecondshewouldintroduceintothetaleacompletelyfreshcollectionofcharactersaccompaniedbyabrandnewsetofincidents。
Thiswasthesortofstoryitwas：—
\"Well，then，myunclewentintothegarden，andgothisgun，but，ofcourse，itwasn’tthere，andScrogginssaidhedidn’tbelieveit。\"
\"Didn’tbelievewhat？Who’sScroggins？\"
\"Scroggins！Oh，whyhewastheotherman，youknow——itwaswife。\"
\"WHATwashiswife——what’sSHEgottodowithit？\"
\"Why，that’swhatI’mtellingyou。Itwasshethatfoundthehat。
She’dcomeupwithhercousintoLondon——hercousinwasmysister—
in—law，andtheotherniecehadmarriedamannamedEvans，andEvans，afteritwasallover，hadtakentheboxroundtoMr。
Jacobs’，becauseJacobs’fatherhadseentheman，whenhewasalive，andwhenhewasdead，Joseph——\"
\"Nowlookhere，neveryoumindEvansandthebox；what’sbecomeofyouruncleandthegun？\"
\"Thegun！Whatgun？\"
\"Why，thegunthatyouruncleusedtokeepinthegarden，andthatwasn’tthere。Whatdidhedowithit？Didhekillanyofthesepeoplewithit——theseJacobsesandEvansesandScrogginsesandJosephses？Because，ifso，itwasagoodandusefulwork，andweshouldenjoyhearingaboutit。\"
\"No——ohno——howcouldhe？——hehadbeenbuiltupaliveinthewall，youknow，andwhenEdwardIVspoketotheabbotaboutit，mysistersaidthatinherthenstateofhealthshecouldnotandwouldnot，asitwasendangeringthechild’slife。SotheychristeneditHoratio，afterherownson，whohadbeenkilledatWaterloobeforehewasborn，andLordNapierhimselfsaid——\"
\"Lookhere，doyouknowwhatyouaretalkingabout？\"weaskedhimatthispoint。
Hesaid\"No，\"butheknewitwaseverywordofittrue，becausehisaunthadseenitherself。Whereuponwecoveredhimoverwiththetablecloth，andhewenttosleep。
AndthenUncletoldusastory。
Unclesaidhiswasarealstory。
THEGHOSTOFTHEBLUECHAMBER
（MyUncle’sStory）
\"Idon’twanttomakeyoufellowsnervous，\"beganmyuncleinapeculiarlyimpressive，nottosayblood—curdling，toneofvoice，\"andifyouwouldratherthatIdidnotmentionit，Iwon’t；but，asamatteroffact，thisveryhouse，inwhichwearenowsitting，ishaunted。\"
\"Youdon’tsaythat！\"exclaimedMr。Coombes。
\"What’stheuseofyoursayingIdon’tsayitwhenIhavejustsaidit？\"retortedmyunclesomewhatpettishly。\"Youdotalksofoolishly。Itellyouthehouseishaunted。RegularlyonChristmasEvetheBlueChamber[theycalledtheroomnexttothenurserythe’bluechamber，’atmyuncle’s，mostofthetoiletservicebeingofthatshade]ishauntedbytheghostofasinfulman——amanwhooncekilledaChristmaswaitwithalumpofcoal。\"
\"Howdidhedoit？\"askedMr。Coombes，witheageranxiousness。
\"Wasitdifficult？\"
\"Idonotknowhowhedidit，\"repliedmyuncle；\"hedidnotexplaintheprocess。Thewaithadtakenupapositionjustinsidethefrontgate，andwassingingaballad。Itispresumedthat，whenheopenedhismouthforBflat，thelumpofcoalwasthrownbythesinfulmanfromoneofthewindows，andthatitwentdownthewait’sthroatandchokedhim。\"
\"Youwanttobeagoodshot，butitiscertainlyworthtrying，\"
murmuredMr。Coombesthoughtfully。
\"Butthatwasnothisonlycrime，alas！\"addedmyuncle。\"Priortothathehadkilledasolocornet—player。\"
\"No！Isthatreallyafact？\"exclaimedMr。Coombes。
\"Ofcourseit’safact，\"answeredmyuncletestily；\"atallevents，asmuchafactasyoucanexpecttogetinacaseofthissort。
\"Howverycaptiousyouarethisevening。Thecircumstantialevidencewasoverwhelming。Thepoorfellow，thecornet—player，hadbeenintheneighbourhoodbarelyamonth。OldMr。Bishop，whokeptthe’JollySandBoys’atthetime，andfromwhomIhadthestory，saidhehadneverknownamorehard—workingandenergeticsolocornet—player。He，thecornet—player，onlyknewtwotunes，butMr。
Bishopsaidthatthemancouldnothaveplayedwithmorevigour，orformorehoursinaday，ifhehadknownforty。Thetwotuneshedidplaywere\"AnnieLaurie\"and\"Home，SweetHome\"；andasregardedhisperformanceoftheformermelody，Mr。Bishopsaidthatamerechildcouldhavetoldwhatitwasmeantfor。
\"Thismusician——thispoor，friendlessartistusedtocomeregularlyandplayinthisstreetjustoppositefortwohourseveryevening。
Oneeveninghewasseen，evidentlyinresponsetoaninvitation，goingintothisveryhouse，BUTWASNEVERSEENCOMINGOUTOFIT！\"
\"Didthetownsfolktryofferinganyrewardforhisrecovery？\"askedMr。Coombes。
\"Notaha’penny，\"repliedmyuncle。
\"Anothersummer，\"continuedmyuncle，\"aGermanbandvisitedhere，intending——sotheyannouncedontheirarrival——tostaytilltheautumn。
\"Ontheseconddayfromtheirarrival，thewholecompany，asfineandhealthyabodyofmenasonecouldwishtosee，wereinvitedtodinnerbythissinfulman，and，afterspendingthewholeofthenexttwenty—fourhoursinbed，leftthetownabrokenanddyspepticcrew；theparishdoctor，whohadattendedthem，givingitashisopinionthatitwasdoubtfuliftheywould，anyofthem，befittoplayanairagain。\"
\"You——youdon’tknowtherecipe，doyou？\"askedMr。Coombes。
\"UnfortunatelyIdonot，\"repliedmyuncle；\"butthechiefingredientwassaidtohavebeenrailwayrefreshment—roompork—pie。
\"Iforgettheman’sothercrimes，\"myunclewenton；\"Iusedtoknowthemallatonetime，butmymemoryisnotwhatitwas。Idonot，however，believeIamdoinghismemoryaninjusticeinbelievingthathewasnotentirelyunconnectedwiththedeath，andsubsequentburial，ofagentlemanwhousedtoplaytheharpwithhistoes；andthatneitherwashealtogetherunresponsibleforthelonelygraveofanunknownstrangerwhohadoncevisitedtheneighbourhood，anItalianpeasantlad，aperformeruponthebarrel—
organ。
\"EveryChristmasEve，\"saidmyuncle，cleavingwithlowimpressivetonesthestrangeawedsilencethat，likeashadow，seemedtohaveslowlystolenintoandsettleddownupontheroom，\"theghostofthissinfulmanhauntstheBlueChamber，inthisveryhouse。
There，frommidnightuntilcock—crow，amidwildmuffledshrieksandgroansandmockinglaughterandtheghostlysoundofhorridblows，itdoesfiercephantomfightwiththespiritsofthesolocornet—
playerandthemurderedwait，assistedatintervals，bytheshadesoftheGermanband；whiletheghostofthestrangledharpistplaysmadghostlymelodieswithghostlytoesontheghostofabrokenharp。
UnclesaidtheBlueChamberwascomparativelyuselessasasleeping—apartmentonChristmasEve。
\"Hark！\"saiduncle，raisingawarninghandtowardstheceiling，whileweheldourbreath，andlistened；\"Hark！Ibelievetheyareatitnow——intheBLUECHAMBER！\"
THEBLUECHAMBER
Iroseup，andsaidthatIwouldsleepintheBlueChamber。
BeforeItellyoumyownstory，however——thestoryofwhathappenedintheBlueChamber——Iwouldwishtoprefaceitwith—
APERSONALEXPLANATION
Ifeelagooddealofhesitationabouttellingyouthisstoryofmyown。YouseeitisnotastoryliketheotherstoriesthatIhavebeentellingyou，orratherthatTeddyBiffles，Mr。Coombes，andmyunclehavebeentellingyou：itisatruestory。ItisnotastorytoldbyapersonsittingroundafireonChristmasEve，drinkingwhiskypunch：itisarecordofeventsthatactuallyhappened。
Indeed，itisnota’story’atall，inthecommonlyacceptedmeaningoftheword：itisareport。Itis，Ifeel，almostoutofplaceinabookofthiskind。Itismoresuitabletoabiography，oranEnglishhistory。
Thereisanotherthingthatmakesitdifficultformetotellyouthisstory，andthatis，thatitisallaboutmyself。Intellingyouthisstory，Ishallhavetokeepontalkingaboutmyself；andtalkingaboutourselvesiswhatwemodern—dayauthorshaveastrongobjectiontodoing。Ifweliterarymenofthenewschoolhaveonepraiseworthyyearningmoreeverpresenttoourmindsthananotheritistheyearningnevertoappearintheslightestdegreeegotistical。
Imyself，soIamtold，carrythiscoyness——thisshrinkingreticenceconcerninganythingconnectedwithmyownpersonality，almosttoofar；andpeoplegrumbleatmebecauseofit。Peoplecometomeandsay—
\"Well，now，whydon’tyoutalkaboutyourselfabit？That’swhatwewanttoreadabout。Tellussomethingaboutyourself。\"
ButIhavealwaysreplied，\"No。\"ItisnotthatIdonotthinkthesubjectaninterestingone。Icannotmyselfconceiveofanytopicmorelikelytoprovefascinatingtotheworldasawhole，oratalleventstotheculturedportionofit。ButIwillnotdoit，onprinciple。Itisinartistic，anditsetsabadexampletotheyoungermen。Otherwriters（afewofthem）doit，Iknow；butI
willnot——notasarule。
Underordinarycircumstances，therefore，Ishouldnottellyouthisstoryatall。Ishouldsaytomyself，\"No！Itisagoodstory，itisamoralstory，itisastrange，weird，enthrallingsortofastory；andthepublic，Iknow，wouldliketohearit；andIshouldliketotellittothem；butitisallaboutmyself——aboutwhatI
said，andwhatIsaw，andwhatIdid，andIcannotdoit。Myretiring，anti—egotisticalnaturewillnotpermitmetotalkinthiswayaboutmyself。\"
Butthecircumstancessurroundingthisstoryarenotordinary，andtherearereasonspromptingme，inspiteofmymodesty，toratherwelcometheopportunityofrelatingit。
AsIstatedatthebeginning，therehasbeenunpleasantnessinourfamilyoverthispartyofours，and，asregardsmyselfinparticular，andmyshareintheeventsIamnowabouttosetforth，grossinjusticehasbeendoneme。
Asameansofreplacingmycharacterinitsproperlight——ofdispellingthecloudsofcalumnyandmisconceptionwithwhichithasbeendarkened，Ifeelthatmybestcourseistogiveasimple，dignifiednarrationoftheplainfacts，andallowtheunprejudicedtojudgeforthemselves。Mychiefobject，Icandidlyconfess，istoclearmyselffromunjustaspersion。Spurredbythismotive——andIthinkitisanhonourableandarightmotive——IfindIamenabledtoovercomemyusualrepugnancetotalkingaboutmyself，andcanthustell—
MYOWNSTORY
Assoonasmyunclehadfinishedhisstory，I，asIhavealreadytoldyou，roseupandsaidthat_I_wouldsleepintheBlueChamberthatverynight。
\"Never！\"criedmyuncle，springingup。\"Youshallnotputyourselfinthisdeadlyperil。Besides，thebedisnotmade。\"
\"Nevermindthebed，\"Ireplied。\"Ihavelivedinfurnishedapartmentsforgentlemen，andhavebeenaccustomedtosleeponbedsthathaveneverbeenmadefromoneyear’sendtotheother。Donotthwartmeinmyresolve。Iamyoung，andhavehadaclearconsciencenowforoveramonth。Thespiritswillnotharmme。I
mayevendothemsomelittlegood，andinducethemtobequietandgoaway。Besides，Ishouldliketoseetheshow。\"
Sayingwhich，Isatdownagain。（HowMr。Coombescametobeinmychair，insteadofattheothersideoftheroom，wherehehadbeenalltheevening；andwhyheneverofferedtoapologisewhenIsatrightdownontopofhim；andwhyyoungBifflesshouldhavetriedtopalmhimselfoffuponmeasmyUncleJohn，andinducedme，underthaterroneousimpression，toshakehimbythehandfornearlythreeminutes，andtellhimthatIhadalwaysregardedhimasfather，——aremattersthat，tothisday，Ihaveneverbeenabletofullyunderstand。）
Theytriedtodissuademefromwhattheytermedmyfoolhardyenterprise，butIremainedfirm，andclaimedmyprivilege。Iwas’theguest。’’Theguest’alwayssleepsinthehauntedchamberonChristmasEve；itishisperquisite。
TheysaidthatifIputitonthatfooting，theyhad，ofcourse，noanswer；andtheylightedacandleforme，andaccompaniedmeupstairsinabody。
WhetherelevatedbythefeelingthatIwasdoinganobleaction，oranimatedbyameregeneralconsciousnessofrectitude，isnotformetosay，butIwentupstairsthatnightwithremarkablebuoyancy。
ItwasasmuchasIcoulddotostopatthelandingwhenIcametoit；IfeltIwantedtogoonuptotheroof。But，withthehelpofthebanisters，Irestrainedmyambition，wishedthemallgood—
night，andwentinandshutthedoor。
Thingsbegantogowrongwithmefromtheveryfirst。Thecandletumbledoutofthecandlestickbeforemyhandwasoffthelock。Itkeptontumblingoutofthecandlestick，andeverytimeIpickedputitupandputitin，ittumbledoutagain：Ineversawsuchaslipperycandle。Igaveupattemptingtousethecandlestickatlast，andcarriedthecandleaboutinmyhand；and，eventhen，itwouldnotkeepupright。SoIgotwildandthrewitoutofwindow，andundressedandwenttobedinthedark。
Ididnotgotosleep，——Ididnotfeelsleepyatall，——Ilayonmyback，lookingupattheceiling，andthinkingofthings。IwishI
couldremembersomeoftheideasthatcametomeasIlaythere，becausetheyweresoamusing。Ilaughedatthemmyselftillthebedshook。
Ihadbeenlyinglikethisforhalfanhourorso，andhadforgottenallabouttheghost，when，oncasuallycastingmyeyesroundtheroom，Inoticedforthefirsttimeasingularlycontented—lookingphantom，sittingintheeasy—chairbythefire，smokingtheghostofalongclaypipe。
Ifanciedforthemoment，asmostpeoplewouldundersimilarcircumstances，thatImustbedreaming。Isatup，andrubbedmyeyes。
No！Itwasaghost，clearenough。Icouldseethebackofthechairthroughhisbody。Helookedovertowardsme，tooktheshadowypipefromhislips，andnodded。
ThemostsurprisingpartofthewholethingtomewasthatIdidnotfeelintheleastalarmed。Ifanything，Iwasratherpleasedtoseehim。Itwascompany。
Isaid，\"Goodevening。It’sbeenacoldday！\"
Hesaidhehadnotnoticedithimself，butdaredsayIwasright。
Weremainedsilentforafewseconds，andthen，wishingtoputitpleasantly，Isaid，\"IbelieveIhavethehonourofaddressingtheghostofthegentlemanwhohadtheaccidentwiththewait？\"
Hesmiled，andsaiditwasverygoodofmetorememberit。Onewaitwasnotmuchtoboastof，butstill，everylittlehelped。
Iwassomewhatstaggeredathisanswer。Ihadexpectedagroanofremorse。Theghostappeared，onthecontrary，toberatherconceitedoverthebusiness。Ithoughtthat，ashehadtakenmyreferencetothewaitsoquietly，perhapshewouldnotbeoffendedifIquestionedhimabouttheorgan—grinder。Ifeltcuriousaboutthatpoorboy。
\"Isittrue，\"Iasked，\"thatyouhadahandinthedeathofthatItalianpeasantladwhocametothetownoncewithabarrel—organthatplayednothingbutScotchairs？\"
Hequitefiredup。\"Hadahandinit！\"heexclaimedindignantly。
\"Whohasdaredtopretendthatheassistedme？Imurderedtheyouthmyself。Nobodyhelpedme。AloneIdidit。ShowmethemanwhosaysIdidn’t。\"
Icalmedhim。IassuredhimthatIhadnever，inmyownmind，doubtedthathewastherealandonlyassassin，andIwentonandaskedhimwhathehaddonewiththebodyofthecornet—playerhehadkilled。
Hesaid，\"Towhichonemayyoubealluding？\"
\"Oh，werethereanymorethen？\"Iinquired。
Hesmiled，andgavealittlecough。Hesaidhedidnotliketoappeartobeboasting，butthat，countingtrombones，therewereseven。
\"Dearme！\"Ireplied，\"youmusthavehadquiteabusytimeofit，onewayandanother。\"
Hesaidthatperhapsheoughtnottobetheonetosayso，butthatreally，speakingofordinarymiddle—society，hethoughttherewerefewghostswhocouldlookbackuponalifeofmoresustainedusefulness。
Hepuffedawayinsilenceforafewseconds，whileIsatwatchinghim。Ihadneverseenaghostsmokingapipebefore，thatIcouldremember，anditinterestedme。
Iaskedhimwhattobaccoheused，andhereplied，\"Theghostofcutcavendish，asarule。\"
Heexplainedthattheghostofallthetobaccothatamansmokedinlifebelongedtohimwhenhebecamedead。Hesaidhehimselfhadsmokedagooddealofcutcavendishwhenhewasalive，sothathewaswellsuppliedwiththeghostofitnow。
Iobservedthatitwasausefulthingtoknowthat，andImadeupmymindtosmokeasmuchtobaccoaseverIcouldbeforeIdied。
IthoughtImightaswellstartatonce，soIsaidIwouldjoinhiminapipe，andhesaid，\"Do，oldman\"；andIreachedoverandgotoutthenecessaryparaphernaliafrommycoatpocketandlitup。
Wegrewquitechummyafterthat，andhetoldmeallhiscrimes。Hesaidhehadlivednextdooroncetoayoungladywhowaslearningtoplaytheguitar，whileagentlemanwhopractisedonthebass—
viollivedopposite。Andhe，withfiendishcunning，hadintroducedthesetwounsuspectingyoungpeopletooneanother，andhadpersuadedthemtoelopewitheachotheragainsttheirparents’
wishes，andtaketheirmusicalinstrumentswiththem；andtheyhaddoneso，and，beforethehoneymoonwasover，SHEhadbrokenhisheadwiththebass—viol，andHEhadtriedtocramtheguitardownherthroat，andhadinjuredherforlife。
Myfriendsaidheusedtoluremuffin—menintothepassageandthenstuffthemwiththeirownwarestilltheyburstanddied。Hesaidhehadquietedeighteenthatway。
Youngmenandwomenwhorecitedlonganddrearypoemsateveningparties，andcallowyouthswhowalkedaboutthestreetslateatnight，playingconcertinas，heusedtogettogetherandpoisoninbatchesoften，soastosaveexpense；andparkoratorsandtemperancelecturersheusedtoshutupsixinasmallroomwithaglassofwaterandacollection—boxapiece，andletthemtalkeachothertodeath。
Itdidonegoodtolistentohim。
Iaskedhimwhenheexpectedtheotherghosts——theghostsofthewaitandthecornet—player，andtheGermanbandthatUncleJohnhadmentioned。Hesmiled，andsaidtheywouldnevercomeagain，anyofthem。
Isaid，\"Why；isn’tittrue，then，thattheymeetyouhereeveryChristmasEveforarow？\"
HerepliedthatitWAStrue。EveryChristmasEve，fortwenty—fiveyears，hadheandtheyfoughtinthatroom；buttheywouldnevertroublehimnoranybodyelseagain。Onebyone，hadhelaidthemout，spoilt，andutterlyuselessforallhauntingpurposes。HehadfinishedoffthelastGerman—bandghostthatveryevening，justbeforeIcameupstairs，andhadthrownwhatwasleftofitoutthroughtheslitbetweenthewindow—sashes。Hesaiditwouldneverbeworthcallingaghostagain。
\"Isupposeyouwillstillcomeyourself，asusual？\"Isaid。\"Theywouldbesorrytomissyou，Iknow。\"
\"Oh，Idon’tknow，\"hereplied；\"there’snothingmuchtocomefornow。Unless，\"headdedkindly，\"YOUaregoingtobehere。I’llcomeifyouwillsleepherenextChristmasEve。\"
\"Ihavetakenalikingtoyou，\"hecontinued；\"youdon’tflyoff，screeching，whenyouseeaparty，andyourhairdoesn’tstandonend。You’venoidea，\"hesaid，\"howsickIamofseeingpeople’shairstandingonend。\"
Hesaiditirritatedhim。
Justthenaslightnoisereachedusfromtheyardbelow，andhestartedandturneddeathlyblack。
\"Youareill，\"Icried，springingtowardshim；\"tellmethebestthingtodoforyou。ShallIdrinksomebrandy，andgiveyoutheghostofit？\"
Heremainedsilent，listeningintentlyforamoment，andthenhegaveasighofrelief，andtheshadecamebacktohischeek。
\"It’sallright，\"hemurmured；\"Iwasafraiditwasthecock。\"
\"Oh，it’stooearlyforthat，\"Isaid。\"Why，it’sonlythemiddleofthenight。\"
\"Oh，thatdoesn’tmakeanydifferencetothosecursedchickens，\"herepliedbitterly。\"Theywouldjustassooncrowinthemiddleofthenightasatanyothertime——sooner，iftheythoughtitwouldspoilachap’seveningout。Ibelievetheydoitonpurpose。\"
Hesaidafriendofhis，theghostofamanwhohadkilledawater—
ratecollector，usedtohauntahouseinLongAcre，wheretheykeptfowlsinthecellar，andeverytimeapolicemanwentbyandflashedhisbull’s—eyedownthegrating，theoldcocktherewouldfancyitwasthesun，andstartcrowinglikemad；when，ofcourse，thepoorghosthadtodissolve，anditwould，inconsequence，getbackhomesometimesasearlyasoneo’clockinthemorning，swearingfearfullybecauseithadonlybeenoutforanhour。
Iagreedthatitseemedveryunfair。
\"Oh，it’sanabsurdarrangementaltogether，\"hecontinued，quiteangrily。\"Ican’timaginewhatouroldmancouldhavebeenthinkingofwhenhemadeit。AsIhavesaidtohim，overandoveragain，’Haveafixedtime，andleteverybodysticktoit——sayfouro’clockinsummer，andsixinwinter。Thenonewouldknowwhatonewasabout。’\"
\"Howdoyoumanagewhenthereisn’tanycockhandy？\"Iinquired。
Hewasonthepointofreplying，whenagainhestartedandlistened。ThistimeIdistinctlyheardMr。Bowles’scock，nextdoor，crowtwice。
\"Thereyouare，\"hesaid，risingandreachingforhishat；\"that’sthesortofthingwehavetoputupwith。WhatISthetime？\"
Ilookedatmywatch，andfounditwashalf—pastthree。
\"Ithoughtasmuch，\"hemuttered。\"I’llwringthatblessedbird’sneckifIgetholdofit。\"Andhepreparedtogo。
\"Ifyoucanwaithalfaminute，\"Isaid，gettingoutofbed，\"I’llgoabitofthewaywithyou。\"
\"It’sverygoodofyou，\"herejoined，pausing，\"butitseemsunkindtodragyouout。\"
\"Notatall，\"Ireplied；\"Ishalllikeawalk。\"AndIpartiallydressedmyself，andtookmyumbrella；andheputhisarmthroughmine，andwewentouttogether。
JustbythegatewemetJones，oneofthelocalconstables。
\"Good—night，Jones，\"Isaid（IalwaysfeelaffableatChristmas—
time）。
\"Good—night，sir，\"answeredthemanalittlegruffly，Ithought。
\"MayIaskwhatyou’rea—doingof？\"
\"Oh，it’sallright，\"Iresponded，withawaveofmyumbrella；\"I’mjustseeingmyfriendpartofthewayhome。\"
Hesaid，\"Whatfriend？\"
\"Oh，ah，ofcourse，\"Ilaughed；\"Iforgot。He’sinvisibletoyou。
Heistheghostofthegentlemanthatkilledthewait。I’mjustgoingtothecornerwithhim。\"
\"Ah，Idon’tthinkIwould，ifIwasyou，sir，\"saidJonesseverely。\"Ifyoutakemyadvice，you’llsaygood—byetoyourfriendhere，andgobackindoors。Perhapsyouarenotawarethatyouarewalkingaboutwithnothingonbutanight—shirtandapairofbootsandanopera—hat。Where’syourtrousers？\"
Ididnotliketheman’smanneratall。Isaid，\"Jones！Idon’twishtohavetoreportyou，butitseemstomeyou’vebeendrinking。Mytrousersarewhereaman’strousersoughttobe——onhislegs。Idistinctlyrememberputtingthemon。\"
\"Well，youhaven’tgotthemonnow，\"heretorted。
\"Ibegyourpardon，\"Ireplied。\"ItellyouIhave；IthinkI
oughttoknow。\"
\"Ithinkso，too，\"heanswered，\"butyouevidentlydon’t。Nowyoucomealongindoorswithme，anddon’tlet’shaveanymoreofit。\"
UncleJohncametothedooratthispoint，havingbeenawaked，I
suppose，bythealtercation；and，atthesamemoment，AuntMariaappearedatthewindowinhernightcap。
Iexplainedtheconstable’smistaketothem，treatingthematteraslightlyasIcould，soasnottogetthemanintotrouble，andI
turnedforconfirmationtotheghost。
Hewasgone！Hehadleftmewithoutaword——withoutevensayinggood—bye！
Itstruckmeassounkind，hishavinggoneoffinthatway，thatI
burstintotears；andUncleJohncameout，andledmebackintothehouse。
Onreachingmyroom，IdiscoveredthatJoneswasright。Ihadnotputonmytrousers，afterall。Theywerestillhangingoverthebed—rail。Isuppose，inmyanxietynottokeeptheghostwaiting，Imusthaveforgottenthem。
Sucharetheplainfactsofthecase，outofwhichitmust，doubtless，tothehealthy，charitablemindappearimpossiblethatcalumnycouldspring。
Butithas。
Persons——Isay’persons’——haveprofessedthemselvesunabletounderstandthesimplecircumstanceshereinnarrated，exceptinthelightofexplanationsatoncemisleadingandinsulting。Slurshavebeencastandaspersionsmadeonmebythoseofmyownfleshandblood。
ButIbearnoill—feeling。Imerely，asIhavesaid，setforththisstatementforthepurposeofclearingmycharacterfrominjurioussuspicion。