Whilehewascomingup,LordIpsdenwaslecturingMarshalSaundersonapointonwhichthatworthyhadalwaysthoughthimselfverysuperiortohismaster——\"Gentlemanlydeportment.\"
\"Now,Saunders,mindandbehavelikeagentleman,orweshallbefoundout.\"
\"Itrust,mylord,myconduct——\"
\"WhatImeanis,youmustnotbesooverpoweringlygentleman—likeasyouareapttobe;nogentlemanissogentlemanasallthat;itcouldnotbeborne,_c’estsuffoquant;_andawhitehandkerchiefisunsoldier—like,andnobodytiesawhitehandkerchiefsowellasthat;ofallthevices,perfectionisthemostintolerable.\"Hislordshipthentouchedwithhiscanethegeneralissimo’stie,whosecountenancestraightwayfell,asthoughhehadlostthreesuccessivebattles.
Gattycameup.
Theysaluted.
\"Whereisyoursecond,sir?\"saidthemare’chal.
\"Mysecond?\"saidGatty.\"Ah!Iforgottowakehim——doesitmatter?\"
\"Itismerelyacustom,\"saidLordIpsden,withaveryslightlysatiricalmanner.\"Savanadero,\"saidhe,\"dousthehonortomeasuretheground,andbeeverybody’ssecond.\"
Savanaderomeasuredtheground,andhandedapistoltoeachcombatant,andstruckanimposingattitudeapart.
\"Areyouready,gentlemen?\"saidthisJack—o’—both—sides.
\"Yes!\"saidboth.
Justasthesignalwasabouttobegiven,aninterruptionoccurred.\"I
begyourpardon,sir,\"saidLordIpsdentohisantagonist;\"Iamgoingtotakea_liberty——agreatliberty_withyou,butIthinkyouwillfindyourpistolisonlyathalfcock.\"
\"Thankyou,mylord;whatamItodowiththething?\"
\"Drawbackthecockso,andbereadytofire?\"
\"So?\"_Bang!_
Hehadtouchedthetriggeraswellasthecock,sooffwentthebarker;
andafteraconsiderablepausethefield—marshalsprangyellingintotheair.
\"Hallo!\"criedMr.Gatty.
\"Ah!oh!I’madeadman,\"whinedthegeneral.
\"Nonsense!\"saidIpsden,afteramomentofanxiety.\"Giveyourselfnoconcern,sir,\"saidhe,soothingly,tohisantagonist——\"amereaccident.
Mare’chal,reloadMr.Gatty’spistol.\"
\"Excuseme,mylord——\"
\"Loadhispistoldirectly,\"saidhislordship,sternly;\"andbehavelikeagentleman.\"
\"Mylord!mylord!butwhereshallIstandtobesafe?\"
\"Behindme!\"
ThecommanderofdivisionadvancedreluctantlyforGatty’spistol.
\"No,mylord!\"saidGatty,\"itisplainIamnotafitantagonist;I
shallbutexposemyself——andmymotherhasseparatedus;Ihavelosther——ifyoudonotwinhersomeworsemanmay;but,oh!ifyouareaman,usehertenderly.\"
\"Whom?\"
\"ChristieJohnstone!Oh,sir,donotmakeherregretmetoomuch!Shewasmytreasure,myconsolation——shewastobemywife,shewouldhavecheeredtheroadoflife——itisadesertnow.Ilovedher——I——I——\"
Herethepoorfellowchoked.
LordIpsdenturnedround,andthrewhispistoltoSaunders,saying,\"Catchthat,Saunders.\"
Saunders,onthecontrary,byasinglemotionchangedhispersonfromaverticalstraightlinetoahorizontallineexactlyparallelwiththeearth’ssurface,andtheweaponsanginnoxiousoverhim.
Hislordshipthen,withanobledefianceofetiquette,walkeduptohisantagonistandgavehimhishand,withamotionnoonecouldresist;forhefeltforthepoorfellow.
\"Itisallamistake,\"saidhe.\"ThereisnosentimentbetweenLaJohnstoneandmebutmutualesteem.Iwillexplainthewholething._I_
admire_her_forhervirtue,herwit,herinnocence,hergoodnessandallthatsortofthing;and_she,_what_she_seesin_me,_IamsureIdon’tknow,\"addedhe,slightlyshrugginghisaristocraticshoulders.\"DomethehonortobreakfastwithmeatNewhaven.\"
\"Ihaveorderedtwelvesortsoffishatthe’Peacock,’mylord,\"saidSaunders.
\"Divine!(Ihatefish)ItoldSaundersallwouldbehungryandnoneshot;
bytheby,youarewinged,Ithinkyousaid,Saunders?\"
\"No,mylord!butlookatmytrousers.\"
Thebullethadcuthispantaloons.
\"Isee——onlybarked;sogoandseeaboutourbreakfast.\"
\"Yes,mylord\"_(faintly)._
\"Anddrawonmeforfiftypounds’worthof——newtrousers.\"
Yes,mylord\"_(sonorously)._
Theduelistsseparated,GattytakingtheshortcuttoNewhaven;heproposedtotakehisfavoriteswimthere,torefreshhimselfbeforebreakfast;andhewentfromhislordshipalittlecheeredbyremarkswhichfellfromhim,andwhich,thoughvague,soundedfriendly——poorfellow,exceptwhenhehadabrushinhandhewasadreamer.
Thisviscount,whodidnotseemtotroublehisheadaboutclassdignity,wastoconverthismotherfromheraristocratictendenciesorsomething.
_Quesais—je?_whatwillnotadreamerhope?
LordIpsdenstrolledalongthesands,andjudgehissurprise,when,attendedbytwofootmen,hemetatthattimeinthemorningLadyBarbaraSinclairLordIpsdenhadbeensodisheartenedandpiquedbythislady’sconductthatforawholeweekhehadnotbeennearher.Thislineofbehaviorsometimesanswers.
Shemethimwithagranddisplayofcordiality.
Sheinquired,\"Whetherhehadheardofamostgallantaction,that,coupledwithanothercircumstance\"_(hereshesmiled),_\"hadinpartreconciledhertotheagewelivein?\"
Heaskedforfurtherparticulars.
Shetheninformedhim\"thatashiphadbeenashoreontherocks,thatnofishermandaredventureout,thatayounggentlemanhadgiventhemhiswholefortune,andsobribedthemtoaccompanyhim;thathehadsavedtheshipandthemen’slives,paidawayhisfortune,andlightedanodiouscigarandgonehome,neverminding,amidtheblessingsandacclamationsofamaritimepopulation.\"
Abeautifulstoryshetoldhim;sobeautiful,infact,thatuntilshehaddiscoursedtenminuteshehardlyrecognizedhisownfeat;butwhenhedidheblushedinsideaswellasoutwithpleasure.Oh!musicofmusic——praisefromeloquentlips,andthoselipsthelipswelove.
Thenextmomenthefeltashamed;ashamedthatLadyBarbarashouldpraisehimbeyondhismerits,asheconceived.
Hemadeafainthypocriticalendeavortomoderatehereulogium;thisgavemattersanunexpectedturn,LadyBarbara’seyesflasheddefiance.
\"Isayitwasanobleaction,thatonenursedineffeminacy(asyouallare)shouldteachthehardyseamentomockatperil——noblefellow!\"
\"Hedidaman’sduty,Barbara.\"
\"Ipsden,takecare,youwillmakemehateyou,ifyoudetractfromadeedyoucannotemulate.Thisgentlemanriskedhisownlifetosaveothers——heisahero!IshouldknowhimbyhisfacethemomentIsawhim.Oh,thatI
weresuchaman,orknewwheretofindsuchacreature!\"
ThewatercameintoLordIpsden’seyes;hedidnotknowwhattosayordo;heturnedawayhishead.LadyBarbarawassurprised;herconsciencesmoteher.
\"Oh,dear,\"saidshe,\"therenow,Ihavegivenyoupain——forgiveme;wecan’tallbeheroes;dearIpsden,don’tthinkIdespiseyounowasI
used.Oh,no!Ihaveheardofyourgoodnesstothepoor,andIhavemoreexperiencenow.ThereisnobodyIesteemmorethanyou,Richard,soyouneednotlookso.\"
\"Thankyou,dearestBarbara.\"
\"Yes,andifyouweretobesuchagooseastowritemeanotherletterproposingabsurditiestome——\"
\"Wouldtheanswerbedifferent?\"
\"Verydifferent.\"
\"Oh,Barbara,wouldyouaccept?\"
\"Why,ofcoursenot;butIwouldrefusecivilly!\"
\"Ah!\"
\"There,don’tsigh;Ihateasighingman.I’lltellyousomethingthatI
knowwillmakeyoulaugh.\"Shethensmiledsaucilyinhisface,andsaid,\"DoyourememberMr.————?\"
_L’effronte’e!_thiswastheearnestman.ButIpsdenwasamatchforherthistime.\"IthinkIdo,\"saidhe;\"agentlemanwhowantstomakeJohnBulllittleagainintoJohnCalf;butitwon’tdo.\"
Herladyshiplaughed.\"WhydidyounottellusthatonInchCoombe?\"
\"BecauseIhadnotread_TheCatspaw_then.\"
_\"TheCatspaw?_Ah!Ithoughtitcouldnotbeyou.Whoseisit?\"
\"Mr.Jerrold’s.\"
\"ThenMr.Jerroldisclevererthanyou.\"
\"Itispossible.\"
\"Itiscertain!Well,Mr.JerroldandLordIpsden,youwillbothbegladtohearthatitwas,inpointoffact,abullthatconfutedtheadvocateoftheMiddleAges;wewerewalking;hewastellingmemanhoodwasextinctexceptinafewearnestmenwholiveduponthepast,itsassociations,itstruth;whenahorridbullgave——oh——suchabellow!andcametrottingup.Iscreamedandran——Iremembernothingbutarrivingatthestile,andlo,ontheotherside,offeringmehisarmwith_empressment_acrossthewoodenbarrierwas——\"
\"Well?\"
\"Well!don’tyousee?\"
\"No——oh——yes,Isee!——fancy——ah!ShallItellyouhowhecametogetfirstover?Heranmoreearnestlythanyou.\"
’ItisnotMr.Jerroldthistime,Ipresume,\"saidhersatiricalladyship.
\"No!youcannotalwayshavehim.Iventuretopredictyourladyshiponyourreturnhomegavethismediaevalpersonagehis_conge’.\"_
\"No!\"
\"No?\"
\"Igaveithimatthestile!Letusbeserious,ifyouplease;Ihaveaconfidencetomakeyou,Ipsden.Frankly,Ioweyousomeapologyformyconductoflate;Imeanttobereserved——Ihavebeenrude——butyoushalljudgeme.Ayearagoyoumademesomeproposals;Irejectedthembecause,thoughIlikeyou——\"
\"Youlikeme?\"
\"Idetestyourcharacter.Sincethen,myWestIndiaestatehasbeenturnedintospecie;thatspecie,thebulkofmyfortune,placedonboardavessel;thatvessellost,atleastwethinkso——shehasnotbeenheardof.\"
\"Mydearcousin.\"
\"DoyoucomprehendthatnowIamcoolerthanevertoallyounggentlemenwhohavelargeincomes,and\"(holdingoutherhandlikeanangel)\"Imusttroubleyoutoforgiveme.\"
Hekissedherlovelyhand.
\"Iesteemyoumoreandmore,\"saidhe.\"Youought,forithasbeenahardstruggletomenottoadoreyou,becauseyouaresoimproved,_moncousin.\"_
\"Isitpossible?Inwhatrespect?\"
\"Youarebrownerandcharitabler;andIshouldhavebeenverykindtoyou——mawkishlykind,Ifear,mysweetcousin,ifthiswretchedmoneyhadnotgonedowninthe_Tisbe.\"_
\"Hallo!\"criedtheviscount.
\"Ah!\"squeakedLadyBarbara,unusedtosuchinterjections.
\"Gonedowninwhat?\"saidIpsden,inaloudvoice.
\"Don’tbellowinpeople’sears.The_Tisbe,_stupid,\"criedshe,screamingatthetopofhervoice.
\"Ritum,titurn,titum,tum,tum,tiddy,iddy,\"wentLordIpsden——hewhistledapolka.
_LadyBarbara(inspectinghimgravely)._\"Ihavehearditatadistance,butIneversawhowitwasdonebefore._Itisvery,verypretty!!!!\"_
_Ipsden.\"Polkez—vous,madame?\"_
_LadyBarb.\"Si,jepolke,MonsieurleVicomte.\"_
Theypolkedforasecondortwo.
\"Well,IdaresayIamwrong,\"criedLadyBarbara,\"butIlikeyoubetternowyouareadownright——ahem!——thanwhenyouwereonlyaninsipidnon—intellectual——youaregreatlyimproved.\"
_Ips._\"Inwhatrespects?’
_LadyBarb._\"DidInottellyou?brownerandmoreimpudent;buttellme,\"saidshe,resuminghersly,satiricaltone,\"howisitthatyou,whousedtobethepinkofcourtesy,danceandsingoverthewreckofmyfortunes?\"
\"Becausetheyarenotwrecked.\"
\"IthoughtItoldyoumyspecieisgonedowninthe_Tisbe.\"_
_Ipsden._\"Butthe_Tisbe_hasnotgonedown.\"
_LadyBarb._\"Itellyouitis.\"
_Ipsden._\"Iassureyouitisnot.\"
_LadyBarb._\"Itisnot?\"
_Ipsden._\"Barbara!Iamtoohappy,Ibegintonourishsuchsweethopesoncemore.Oh,Icouldfallonmykneesandblessyouforsomethingyousaidjustnow.\"
LadyBarbarablushedtothetemples.
\"Thenwhydon’tyou?\"saidshe.\"Allyouwantisalittleenthusiasm.\"
Thenrecoveringherself,shesaid:
\"Youkneelonwetsand,withblacktrouserson;thatwillneverbe!!!\"
Thesetwoweresooccupiedthattheydidnotobservetheapproachofastrangeruntilhebrokeinupontheirdialogue.
AnAncientMarinerhadbeenforsomeminutesstandingoffandon,reconnoiteringLordIpsden;henowboredown,andwithgreatrough,roaringcordiality,thatmadeLadyBarbarastart,criedout:
\"Givemeyourhand,sir——givemeyourhand,ifyouweretwicealord.
\"Icouldn’tspeaktoyoutillthebrigwassafeinport,andyouslippedaway,butI’vebroughtyouupatlast;and——givemeyourhandagain,sir.
Isay,isn’titapityyouarealordinsteadofasailor?\"
_Ipsden._\"ButIamasailor.\"
_AncientMariner._\"Thatyeare,andassmartaoneasevertiedatrue—lover’sknotinthetop;buttellthetruth——youwerenevernearerlosingthenumberofyourmessthanthatdayintheold_Tisbe.\"_
_LadyBarb._\"Theold_Tisbe!_Oh!\"
_Ipsden._\"Doyourememberthatnicelittlelurchshegavetoleewardaswebroughtherround?\"
_LadyBarb._\"Oh,Richard!\"
_AncientMariner._\"Andthatreeltheoldwenchgaveunderourfeet,norththepier—head.Iwouldn’thavegivenawashing—tubforheratthatmoment.\"
_Ipsden._\"Pastdangerbecomespleasure,sir._Olimethoecmeminisse_——I
begyourpardon,sir.\"
_AncientMariner(takingoffhishatwithfeeling)._\"Godblessye,sir,andsendyemanyhappydays,andwellspent,withtheprettyladyIseealongside;askingyourpardon,miss,forpartingpleasantercompany——soI’llsheeroff.\"
Andawaywenttheskipperofthe_Tisbe,_rollingfearfully.Intheheatofthisreminiscence,theskipperoftheyacht(theyareallalike,bluewateroncefairlytasted)hadlostsightofLadyBarbara;henowlookedround.Imaginehissurprise!
Herladyshipwasintears.
\"DearBarbara,\"saidLordIpsden,\"donotdistressyourselfonmyaccount.\"
\"Itisnotyourfe—feelingsIcareabout;atleast,Ih—h—hopenot;butI
havebeensounjust,andIpridedmyselfsoonmyj—ju—justice.\"
\"Nevermind!\"
\"Oh!ifyoudon’t,Idon’t.Ihatemyself,soitisnowonderyouh—hateme.\"
\"Iloveyoumorethanever.\"
\"Thenyouareagoodsoul!OfcourseyouknowIalways_l_—esteemedyou,Richard.\"
\"No!Ihadanideayoudespisedme!\"
\"Howsillyyouare!Can’tyousee?WhenIthoughtyouwerenotperfection,whichyouarenow,itvexedmetodeath;youneversawmeaffrontanyonebutyou?\"
\"No,Ineverdid!Whatdoesthatprove?\"
\"Thatdependsuponthewitofhimthatreasonsthereon.\"(Comingtoherself.)
\"Iloveyou,Barbara!Willyouhonormewithyourhand?\"
\"No!Iamnotsobase,soselfish.Youareworthahundredofme,andherehaveIbeentreatingyou_dehautenbas._DearRichard,poorRichard.Oh!oh!oh!\"(Aperfectfloodoftears.)
\"Barbara!Iregretnothing;thismomentpaysforall.\"
\"Well,then,Iwill!sinceyoukeeppressingme.There,letmego;Imustbealone;ImusttelltheseahowunjustIwas,andhowhappyIam,andwhenyouseemeagainyoushallseethebettersideofyourcousinBarbara.\"
Shewasperemptory.\"Shehadherfollyandhismeritstothinkover,\"shesaid;butshepromisedtopassthroughNewhaven,andheshouldputherintoherpony—phaeton,whichwouldmeetherthere.
LadyBarbarawasonlyafoolbytheexcessofherwitoverherexperience;andLordIpsden’slovewasnotmisplaced,forshehadagreatheartwhichshehidfromlittlepeople.Iforgiveher!
Theresolutionssheformedincompanywiththesea,havingdismissedIpsden,andorderedherflunkyintothehorizon,willprobablygiveourviscountjusthalfacenturyofconjugalbliss.
Ashewasgoingshestoppedhimandsaid:\"YourfriendhadbrownerhandsthanIhavehithertoconceivedpossible._Totellthetruth,_Itookthemfortheclawsofamahoganytablewhenhegrappledyou——isthattheterm?
_C’este’gal_——Ilikehim——\"
Shestoppedhimagain.\"Ipsden,inthemidstofallthisthatpoorman’sshipisbroken.Ifeelitis!Youwillbuyhimanother,ifyoureallyloveme——forIlikehim.\"
Andsotheseloverspartedforatime;andLordIpsdenwithaboundingheartreturnedtoNewhaven.Hewenttoentertainhislate_vis—’a—vis_atthe\"Peacock.\"
Meantimeashorterandlesspleasant_rencontre_hadtakenplacebetweenLeithandthatvillage.
Gattyfeltheshouldmeethislostsweetheart;andsureenough,ataturnoftheroadChristieandJeancamesuddenlyuponhim.
Jeannodded,butChristietooknonoticeofhim;theypassedhim;heturnedandfollowedthem,andsaid,\"Christie!\"
\"Whatisyourwillwi’me?\"saidshe,coldly.
\"I——I——Howpaleyouare!\"
\"Iamnoveryweel.\"
\"Shehasbeenwatchingovermucklewi’Flucker,\"saidJean.
Christiethankedherwithalook.
\"Ihopeitisnot——not——\"
\"Naefears,lad,\"saidshe,briskly;\"Idinnathinkthatmuckleo’ye.\"
\"AndIthinkofnothingbutyou,\"saidhe.
Adeepflushcrimsonedtheyoungwoman’sbrow,butsherestrainedherself,andsaidicily:\"Thaat’sverygudeo’ye,I’msure.\"
Gattyfeltallthecontempthermannersandwordsexpressed.Hebithislips.Thetearstartedtohiseye.\"Youwillforgetme,\"saidhe.\"Idonotdeservetoberemembered,butIshallneverforgetyou.IleaveforEngland.IleaveNewhavenforever,whereIhavebeensohappy.Iamgoingatthreeo’clockbythesteamboat.Won’tyoubidmegood—by?\"Heapproachedhertimidly.
\"Ay!thatwulldo,\"criedshe;\"Gudebewi’ye,lad;Iwishyenaeill.\"
Shegaveacommandinggestureofdismissal;heturnedaway,andwentsadlyfromher.Shewatchedeverymotionwhenhisbackwasturned.
\"Thatisyou,Christie,\"saidJean;\"usetheladslikedirt,an’theythinka’themairo’ye.\"
\"Oh,Jean,myhairt’sbroken.I’mjustdeeingforhim.\"
\"Letmespeaktillhimthen,\"saidJean;\"I’llsunebringhimtillhismarrow—banes;\"andshetookahastysteptofollowhim.
Christieheldherfast.\"I’ddeeereI’dgiveintillthem.Oh,Jean!I’malassiecleanflungawa;hehasneitherhairtnorspunkava,yonlad!\"
Jeanbegantomakeexcusesforhim.Christieinveighedagainsthim.Jeanspokeupforhimwithmoreearnestness.
Nowobserve,Jeandespisedthepoorboy.
Christieadoredhim.
SoJeanspokeforhim,becausewomenofeverydegreeareoftenonesolidmassoftact;andChristieabusedhim,becauseshewantedtohearhimdefended.
CHAPTERXVI.
RICHARD,LORDVISCOUNTIPSDEN,havingdottedtheseashorewithsentinels,totellhimofLadyBarbara’sapproach,awaitedhisguestinthe\"Peacock\";but,asGattywasalittlebehindtime,heplacedSaunderssentineloverthe\"Peacock,\"andstrolledeastward;ashecameoutofthe\"Peacock,\"Mrs.Gattycamedownthelittlehillinfront,andalsoproceededeastward;meantimeLadyBarbaraandherescortwerenotfarfromtheNewTownofNewhaven,ontheirwayfromLeith.
Mrs.Gattycamedown,merelywithavaguefear.Shehadnoreasontosupposeherson’salliancewithChristieeitherwouldorcouldberenewed,butshewasacarefulplayerandwouldnotgiveachanceaway;
shefoundhewasgoneoutunusuallyearly,soshecamestraighttotheonlyplaceshedreaded;itwasherson’slastdayinScotland.Shehadpackedhisclothes,andhehadinspiredherwithconfidencebyarrangingpictures,etc.,himself;shehadnoideahewaspackingforhisdeparturefromthislife,notEdinburghonly.
ShecamethentoNewhavenwithnoseriousmisgivings,for,evenifhersonhadagainvacillated,shesawthat,withChristie’sprideandherownfirmness,thegamemustbehersintheend;but,asIsaidbefore,shewasonewhoplayedhercardsclosely,andsuchseldomlose.
Butmystoryiswiththetwoyoungfishwives,who,ontheirreturnfromLeith,foundthemselvesatthefootoftheNewTown,Newhaven,someminutesbeforeanyoftheotherpersonswho,itistobeobserved,wereapproachingitfromdifferentpoints;theycameslowlyin,Christieinparticular,withalistlessnessshehadnever,knowntillthislastweek;
forsomedaysherstrengthhadfailedher——itwasJeanthatcarriedthecreelnow——before,Christie,intheprideofherstrength,wouldalwaysdomorethanhershareoftheirjointlabor.Thenshecouldhardlybeforcedtoeat,andwhatshedideatwasquitetastelesstoher,andsleeplefther,andinitssteadcameuneasyslumbers,fromwhichsheawokequiveringfromheadtofoot.
Oh!perilousventureofthosewholoveoneobjectwiththewholeheart.
Thisgreatbuttenderheartwasbreakingdaybyday.
Well,ChristieandJean,strollingslowlyintotheNewTownofNewhaven,foundanassemblageofthenativesalllookingseaward;thefishermen,exceptSandyListon,wereawayattheherringfishery,butalltheboysandwomenoftheNewTownwerecollected;thegirlsfeltamomentarycuriosity;itproved,however,tobeonlyanindividualswimmingintowardshorefromagreaterdistancethanusual.
Alittlematterexcitescuriosityinsuchplaces.
Theman’sheadlookedlikeaspotofink.
SandyListonwasmindinghisownbusiness,lazilymendingaskait—net,whichhehadattachedtoacrazyoldherring—boathauleduptorot.
Christiesatdown,paleandlanguid,byhim,onacreepiethatalasswhohadbeenbaitingalinewithmusselshadjustvacated;suddenlysheseizedJean’sarmwithaconvulsivemotion;Jeanlookedup——itwastheLondonsteamboatrunningoutfromLeithtoGrantonPiertotakeupherpassengersforLondon.CharlesGattywasgoingbythatboat;thelookofmutedespairthepoorgirlgavewenttoJean’sheart;sheranhastilyfromthegroup,andcriedoutofsightforpoorChristie.
Afishwife,lookingthroughatelescopeattheswimmer,remarked:\"He’scominginfast;he’sagallantswimmer,yon——
\"Canhedee’t?\"inquiredChristieofSandyListon.
\"Finethaat,\"wasthereply;\"hedoesitayeo’Sundayswhenyeareatthekirk.\"
\"It’snoooto’thekirkwindowye’llhaeseenhim,Sandy,mymon,\"saidayoungfishwife.
\"Rinformyglassonyway,Flucker,\"saidChristie,forcingherselftotakesomelittleinterest.
Fluckerbroughtittoher,sheputherhandonhisshoulder,gotslowlyup,andstoodonthecreepieandadjustedthefocusofherglass;afterashortview,shesaidtoFlucker:
\"Rinandseethenook.\"Shethenleveledherglassagainattheswimmer.
Fluckerinformedherthenooksaid\"halfeleven\"——Scotchfor\"halfpastten.\"
Christiewhippedoutawell—thumbedalmanac.
\"Yonnook’sayeahint,\"saidshe.Sheswepttheseaoncemorewithherglass,thenbroughtittogetherwithaclick,andjumpedoffthestool.
Herquickintelligenceviewedthematterdifferentlyfromalltheothers.
\"Noow,\"criedshe,smartly,\"wha’lllendmehisyawl?\"
\"Hets!dinnabesaeinterferin’,lassie,\"saidafishwife.
\"Haenaneo’yeonyspunk?\"saidChristie,takingnonoticeofthewoman.
\"Speak,laddies!\"
\"M’uncle’syawlisatthepier—head;ye’llgether,mywoman,\"saidaboy.
\"Aschell’nforwha’sfirstonboard,\"saidChristie,holdingupthecoin.
\"Comeawa’,Flucker,we’llhaeherschell’n;\"andthesetwoworthiesinstantlyeffectedafalsestart.
\"It’snounderyourjackets,\"saidChristie,asshedashedafterthemlikethewind.
\"Haw!haw!haw!\"laughedSandy.
\"What’sherbusinesspickingupamonagainsthiswill?\"saidawoman.
\"She’sanawfu’lassie,\"whinedanother.Theexaminationoftheswimmerwasthencontinued,andthecrowdincreased;somewouldhaveithewasrapidlyapproaching,othersthathemadelittleornoway.
\"Whaest?\"saidanother.
\"It’salummy,\"saidagirl.
\"Na!it’snoalummy,\"saidanother.
Christie’sboatwasnowseenstandingoutfromthepier.SandyListon,castingacontemptuouslookonalltherest,liftedhimselflazilyintotheherring—boatandlookedseaward.Hismannerchangedinamoment.
\"TheDeevil!\"criedhe;\"thetide’sturned!Youwi’yourglass,couldyounoseeyonman’sdriftingoottosea?\"
\"Hech!\"criedthewomen,\"he’llbedrooned——he’llbedrooned!\"
\"Yes;he’llbedrooned!\"criedSandy,\"ifyonlassiedoesnacomealongsidehimdeevelichquick——he’ssairspent,Idoot.\"
Twospectatorswerenowaddedtothescene,Mrs.GattyandLordIpsden.
Mrs.Gattyinquiredwhatwasthematter.
\"It’samondrooning,\"wasthereply.
Thepoorfellow,whomSandy,byaidofhisglass,nowdiscoveredtobeinawornoutcondition,wasabouthalfamileeastofNewhavenpier—head,andunfortunatelythewindwasnearlydueeast.Christiewasstandingnorth—northeast,herboat—hookjammedagainstthesail,whichstoodasflatasaknife.
ThenativesoftheOldTownwerenowseenpouringdowntothepierandthebeach,andstrangerswerecollectinglikebees.
\"Afterwitiseverybody’swit!!!\"——_OldProverb._
TheaffairwasintheJohnstone’shands.
\"Thatboatisnotgoingtothepoorman,\"saidMrs.Gatty,\"itisturningitsbackuponhim.\"
\"Shecannalieinthewind’seye,forascleverassheis,\"answeredafishwife.
\"Ikenwhaitis,\"suddenlysqueakedalittlefishwife;\"it’sChristieJohnstone’slad;it’syondaftpainterfr’England.Hech!\"criedshe,suddenly,observingMrs.Gatty,\"it’syourson,woman.\"
Theunfortunatewomangaveafearfulscream,and,flyinglikeatigeronListon,commandedhim\"togostraightouttoseaandsaveherson.\"
JeanCarnieseizedherarm.\"Divyeseeyonboat?\"criedshe;\"anddivyemindChristie,thelasswha’shairtyehaebroken?aweel,woman——_it’sjustaracebetweendeethandCirstyJohnstoneforyourson._
Thepooroldwomanswooneddeadaway;theycarriedherintoChristieJohnstone’shouseandlaidherdown,thenhurriedback——thegreaterterrorabsorbedtheless.
LadyBarbaraSinclairwastherefromLeith;and,seeingLordIpsdenstandingintheboatwithafisherman,sheaskedhimtotellherwhatitwas;neitherhenoranyoneansweredher.
\"Whydoesn’tshecomeabout,Liston?\"criedLordIpsden,stampingwithanxietyandimpatience.
\"She’llnobelang,\"saidSandy;\"butthey’llmakamesso’’twi’ne’eramani’theboat.\"
\"Ye’resureo’thaat?\"putinawoman.
\"Ay,aboutshecomes,\"saidListon,asthesailcamedownonthefirsttack.Hewasmistaken;theydippedthelugascleverlyasanymaninthetowncould.
\"Hech!lookatherhaulingontheropelikeamon,\"criedawoman.Thesailflewupontheothertack.
\"She’sanawfu’lassie,\".whinedanother.
\"He’sawa,\"groanedListon,\"he’sdoon!\"
\"No!he’supagain,\"criedLordIpsden;\"butIfearhecan’tlivetilltheboatcomestohim.\"
Thefishermanandtheviscountheldonbyeachother.
\"Hedoesnaseeher,ormaybehe’dtakhairt.\"
\"I’dgivetenthousandpoundsifonlyhecouldseeher.MyGod,themanwillbedrownedunderoureyes.Ifhebutsawher!!!\"
ThewordshadhardlyleftLordIpsden’slips,whenthesoundofawoman’svoicecamelikeanAEoliannoteacrossthewater.
\"Hurraih!\"roaredListon,andeverycreaturejoinedthecheer.
\"She’llnolethimdee.Ah!she’sinthebows,hailinghiman’wavingthelad’sbonnetowerherheadtogiehimcoorage.Gudeblessye,lass;Gudeblessye!\"
Christieknewitwasnousehailinghimagainstthewind,butthemomentshegotthewindshedartedintothebows,andpitchedinitshighestkeyherfullandbrilliantvoice;afteramomentofsuspenseshereceivedproofthatshemustbeheardbyhim,foronthepiernowhungmenandwomen,clusteredlikebees,breathlesswithanxiety,andthemomentaftershehailedthedrowningman,shesawandheardawildyellofapplauseburstfromthepier,andthepierwasmoredistantthantheman.ShesnatchedFlucker’scap,plantedherfootonthegunwale,heldonbyarope,hailedthepoorfellowagain,andwavedthecaproundandroundherhead,togivehimcourage;andinamoment,atthesightofthis,thousandsofvoicesthunderedbacktheircheerstoheracrossthewater.
Blow,wind——spring,boat——andyou,Christie,stillringlifetowardthosedespairingearsandwavehopetothosesinkingeyes;cheertheboaton,youthousandsthatlookuponthisaction;hurrah!fromthepier;hurrah!
fromthetown;hurrah!fromtheshore;hurrah!now,fromtheveryshipsintheroads,whosecrewsareswarmingontheyardstolook;fiveminutesagotheylaughedatyou;threethousandeyesandheartshanguponyounow;ay,thesearethemomentswelivefor!
Andnowdeadsilence.Theboatiswithinfiftyyards,theyareallthreeconsultingtogetherroundthemast;anerrornowisdeath;hisforeheadonlyseemsabovewater.
\"Iftheymisshimonthattack?\"saidLordIpsden,significantly,toListon.
\"He’llneverseeLondonBriggagain,\"wasthewhisperedreply.
Theycarriedontillallonshorethoughttheywouldrunoverhim,orpasthim;butno,attenyardsdistanttheywereallatthesail,andhaditdownlikelightning;andthenFluckersprangtothebows,theotherboytothehelm.
Unfortunately,therewerebuttwoJohnstonesintheboat;andthisboy,inhishurry,actuallyputthehelmtoport,insteadoftostarboard.
Christie,whostoodamidships,sawtheerror;shesprangaft,flungtheboyfromthehelmandjammedithard—a—starboardwithherfoot.Theboatansweredthehelm,buttoolateforFlucker;themanwasfouryardsfromhimastheboatdriftedby.
\"He’sadeedmon!\"criedListon,onshore.
Theboat’slengthgaveonemorelittlechance;theafter—partmustdriftnearerhim——thankstoChristie.Fluckerflewaft;flunghimselfonhisback,andseizedhissister’spetticoats.
\"Flingyourselfowerthegunwale,\"screamedhe.\"Ye’llnohurt;I’sehaudye.\"
Sheflungherselfboldlyoverthegunwale;themanwassinking,hernailstouchedhishair,herfingersentangledthemselvesinit,shegavehimapowerfulwrenchandbroughthimalongside;theboyspinnedhimlikewild—cats.
Christiedartedawayforwardtothemast,passedaroperoundit,threwittheboys,inamomentitwasunderhisshoulders.Christiehauledonitfromtheforethwart,theboysliftedhim,andtheytumbledhim,gaspingandgurglinglikeadyingsalmon,intothebottomoftheboat,andflungnetandjacketsandsailoverhimtokeepthelifeinhim.
Ah!drawyourbreathallhandsatseaandashore,anddon’ttryitagain,younggentleman,fortherewasnothingtospare;whenyouweremissedatthebowtwostoutheartsquiveredforyou;LordIpsdenhidhisfaceinhistwohands,SandyListongaveagroan,and,whenyouweregrabbedastern,jumpedoutofhisboatandcried:
\"Agillo’whiskyforonyfavor,forit’sturnedmeasseeckasadoeg.\"
Headded:\"Hemayblessyonlassie’sfowrbanes,forshe’sta’enhimooto’Death’smaw,assureasGude’sinheaven!\"
LadyBarbara,whohadallherlifebeenlongingtoseeperilousadventures,prayedandtrembledandcriedmostpiteously;andLordIpsden’sbackwastoher,andhepaidnoattentiontohervoice;butwhenthebattlewaswon,andLordIpsdenturnedandsawher,sheclungtohisarmanddriedhertears;andthentheOldTowncheeredtheboat,andtheNewTowncheeredtheboat,andthetownscheeredeachother;andtheJohnstones,ladandlass,settheirsail,andsweptbackintriumphtothepier;sothenLadyBarbara’sbloodmountedandtingledinherveinslikefire.\"Oh,hownoble!\"criedshe.
\"Yes,dearest,\"saidIpsden.\"Youhaveseensomethinggreatdoneatlast;
andbyawoman,too!\"
\"Yes,\"saidBarbara,\"howbeautiful!oh!howbeautifulitallis;onlythenextoneIseeIshouldlikethedangertobeoverfirst,thatisall.\"
TheboysandChristie,themomenttheyhadsavedGatty,upsailagainforNewhaven;theylandedinaboutthreeminutesatthepier.
TIME.FromNewhaventowntopieronfoot:1m.30sec.Firsttack:5m.
30sec.Secondtack,andgettinghimonboard:4m.0sec.Backtothepier,goingfree:3m.30sec.
Total:14m.30sec.
Theycameintothepier,Christiesittingquietlyonthethwartafterherwork,theboysteering,andFluckerstandingagainstthemast,handsinhispockets;thedeportmentthisyounggentlemanthoughtfittoassumeonthisoccasionwas\"completeapathy\";hecameintoportwiththeairofonebringinghometheordinaryresultsofhisday’sfishing;thiswas,I
suppose,toimpressthespectatorswiththenotionthatsavingliveswasanevery—dayaffairwithLaFamilleJohnstone;asforGatty,hecametohimselfunderhisheapofnetsandjacketsandspokeoncebetweenDeath’sjawandthepier.
\"Beautiful!\"murmuredhe,andwassilent.Themeaningofthisobservationnevertranspired,andneverwillinthisworld.Sixmonthsafterward,beingsubjectedtoasearchinginterrogatory,hestatedthathehadalludedtothemajestyandfreedomofacertain_pose_Christiehadadoptedwhilehailinghimfromtheboat;but,reader,ifhehadwantedyouandmetobelieveitwasthis,heshouldnothavebeenhalfayearfindingitout——_increduliodimus!_Theylanded,andChristiesprangonshore;whileshewaswendingherwaythroughthecrowd,impededbygreetingsandacclamations,witheverynowandthenalasswavingherkerchieforaladhisbonnetovertheheroine’shead,poorMrs.GattywasreceivingtheattentionoftheNewTown;theybroughtherto,theytoldherthegoodnews——shethankedGod.
Thewholestoryhadspreadlikewildfire;theyexpostulatedwithher,theytoldhernowwasthetimetoshowshehadaheart,andblesstheyoungpeople.
Sherewardedthemwithavaluableprecept.
\"Mindyourownbusiness!\"saidshe.
\"Hech!y’areadourwife!\"criedNewhaven.
Thedourwifebenthereyesontheground.
Thepeoplewerestillcollectedatthefootofthestreet,buttheywerenowinknots,whenindashedFlucker,arrivingbyashortcut,andcrying:\"Shedoesnaken,shedoesnaken,shewasowermoedesttolook,Idaursay,andye’llnotellher,forhe’sablackguard,an’he’sjustmakingafuleo’thepuirlass,andifshekenswhatshehasdoneforhim,she’llbefondero’himthanacoowo’hercauf.\"
\"Oh,Flucker!wemauntellher,it’sherlad,herainlad,shesaved,\"
expostulatedawoman.
\"Didevermyfeytherdoagoodturntillye?\"criedFlucker.\"Awel,then,ye’llnotellthelassie,she’sweelassheis;he’sgaunt’Ennglandtheday.Icanniegieyea’ahidin’,\"saidhe,withaneyethatflashedvolumesofgoodintentiononahundredandfiftypeople;\"butIamfeytherlessandmotherless,an’Icanfa’onmykneesan’curseyea’ifyedoussicanillturn,an’thenye’llseewhetherye’llthrive.\"
\"We’llnotell,Flucker,yeneednacurseusonyway.\"
Hislordship,withallthesharpauthorityofaskipper,orderedMasterFluckertothepier,withamessagetotheyacht;Flucker_qua_yachtsmanwasamachine,andwentasamatterofcourse.\"Iamdeterminedtotellher,\"saidLordIpsdentoLadyBarbara.
\"But,\"remonstratedLadyBarbara,\"thepoorboysayshewillcurseusifwedo.\"
\"Hewon’tcurseme.\"
\"Howdoyouknowthat?\"
\"Becausethelittleblackguard’sgrogwouldbestoppedonboardtheyachtifhedid.\"
Fluckerhadnotbeengonemanyminutesbeforeloudcheeringwasheard,andChristieJohnstoneappearedconvoyedbyalargedetachmentoftheOldTown;shehadtriedtoslipaway,buttheywouldnotlether.TheyconvoyedherintriumphtilltheysawtheNewTownpeople,andthentheyturnedandlefther.
Shecameinamongthegroups,achangedwoman——herpallorandherlistlessnessweregone——theoldlightwasinhereye,andthebrightcolorinhercheek,andsheseemedhardlytotouchtheearth.
\"I’mjustdroukit,lasses,\"criedshe,gayly,wringinghersleeve.Everyeyewasuponher;didsheknow,ordidshenotknow,whatshehaddone?
LordIpsdensteppedforward;thepeopletacitlyacceptedhimasthevehicleoftheircuriosity.
\"Whowasit,Christie?\"
\"Idinnaken,formypairt!\"
Mrs.Gattycameoutofthehouse.
\"Ahandsomeyoungfellow,Ihope,Christie?\"resumedLordIpsden.
\"YemaunaskFlucker,\"wasthereply.\"Icouldnotakmucklenotice,yeken,\"puttingherhandbeforehereye,andhalfsmiling.
\"Well!Ihearheisverygood—looking;andIhearyouthinkso,too.\"
Sheglidedtohimandlookedinhisface.Hegaveameaningsmile.Thepoorgirllookedquiteperplexed.Suddenlyshegaveaviolentstart.
\"Christie!whereisChristie?\"hadcriedawell—knownvoice.Hehadlearnedonthepierwhohadsavedhim——hehadslippedupamongtheboatstofindher——hecouldnotfindhishat——hecouldnotwaitforit——hisdrippinghairshowedwherehehadbeen——itwasherlovewhomshehadjustsavedoutofDeath’sveryjaws.
Shegaveacryoflovethatwentthrougheveryheart,highorlow,youngorold,thatheardit.Andshewenttohim,throughtheairitseemed;
but,quickasshewas,anotherwasasquick;themotherhadseenhimfirst,andshewasthere.Christiesawnothing.Withanothercry,theverykeynoteofhergreatandlovingheart,sheflungherarmsround——Mrs.Gatty,whowasonthesameerrandasherself.
\"Heartsarenotsteel,andsteelisbent;Heartsarenotflint,andflintisrent.\"
TheoldwomanfeltChristietouchher.Sheturnedfromhersoninamomentandweptuponherneck.Herlovertookherhandandkissedit,andpressedittohisbosom,andtriedtospeaktoher;butallhecoulddowastosobandchoke——andkissherhandagain.
\"Mydaughter!\"sobbedtheoldwoman.
AtthatwordChristieclaspedherquickly;andthenChristiebegantocry.
\"Iamnotastone,\"criedMrs.Gatty.
\"Igavehimlife;butyouhavesavedhimfromdeath.Oh,Charles,nevermakeherrepentwhatshehasdoneforyou.\"
Shewasawoman,afterall;andprudenceandprejudicemeltedlikesnowbeforeherheart.
Therewerenotmanydryeyes——leastofalltheheroicLadyBarbara’s.
Thethreewhomamomenthadmadeonewerebecomingcalmer,andtakingoneanother’shandsforlife,whenadiabolicalsoundarose——andwhatwasitbutSandyListon,who,afterfuriousresistance,wasblubberingwithexplosivebutshort—livedviolence?Havingdoneit,hewasthefirsttodraweverybody’sattentiontothephenomenon;andaffectingtoconsideritapurelyphysicalattack,likea_coupdesoleil,_orsoon,heproceededinstantlytoDrysel’sforhispanacea.
LadyBarbaraenjoinedLordIpsdentowatchthesepeople,andnottoloseawordtheysaid;and,aftershehadinsisteduponkissingChristie,shewentofftohercarriage.Andshetoowassohappy,shecriedthreedistincttimesonherwaytoEdinburgh.
LordIpsden,havingremindedGattyofhisengagement,beggedhimtoaddhismotherandChristietotheparty,andescortedLadyBarbaratoherphaeton.
Sothenthepeopledispersedbydegrees.
\"Thatoldlady’sfaceseemsfamiliartome,\"saidLordIpsden,ashestoodonthelittlenaturalplatformbythe\"Peacock.\"\"Doyouknowwhosheis,Saunders?\"
\"ItisPeggy,thatwascookinyourlordship’suncle’stime,mylord.Shemarriedagreen—grocer,\"addedSaunders,withaninjuredair.
\"Hech!hech!\"criedFlucker,\"Christiehasta’enupherheadwi’acook’sson.\"
Mrs.Gattywasusheredintothe\"Peacock\"withmockcivilitybyMr.
Saunders.Norecognitiontookplace,eachbeingashamedoftheotherasanacquaintance.
Thenextarrivalwasabeautifulyoungladyinablacksilkgown,aplainbutduck—likeplaidshawl,whoprovedtobeChristieJohnstone,inherSundayattire.
Whentheymet,Mrs.Gattygavealittlescreamofjoy,andsaid:\"Oh,mychild;ifIhadseenyouinthatdress,Ishouldneverhavesaidawordagainstyou.\"
\"Parsminimaestipsapuellasui!\"
Hislordshipsteppeduptoher,tookoffhishat,andsaid:\"WillMrs.
Gattytakefrommeacommissionfortwopictures,asbigasherself,andasbonny?\"addedhe,doingalittleScotch.Hehandedheracheck;and,turningtoGatty,added,\"Atyourconvenience,sir,_bienentendu.\"_
\"Hech!it’sforfivehundredpund,Chairles.\"
\"Goodgeargangsinlittlebook,\"*saidJean.
*Bulk.
\"Ay,doesit,\"repliedFlucker,assumingthecompliment.
\"Mylord!\"saidtheartist,\"youtreatArtlikeaprince;andsheshalltreatyoulikeaqueen.Whenthesuncomesoutagain,Iwillworkforyouandfame.Youshallhavetwothingspainted,everystrokeloyallyinthesunlight.InspiteofgloomywinterandgloomierLondon,IwilltryifI
can’thangnatureandsummeronyourwallsforever.Asforme,youknowI
mustgotoGerardDowandCuyp,andPierredeHoogh,whenmylittlesandisrun;butmyhandwritingshallwarmyourchildren’schildren’shearts,sir,whenthishandisdust.\"Hiseyeturnedinward,hewalkedtoandfro,andhiscompanionsdiedoutofhissight——hewasinthekingdomofart.
HislordshipandJeanenteredthe\"Peacock,\"followedbyFlucker,whomerelylingeredatthedoortomoralizeasfollows:
\"Hech!hech!isnathaatlamentable?Christie’smon’sasdaftasadrunkweaver.\"
Butonestayedquietlybehind,andassumedthatmomenttheofficeofherlife.
\"Ay!\"heburstoutagain,\"theresourcesofourartarestillunfathomed!
Picturesareyettobepaintedthatshallrefreshmen’sinnersouls,andhelptheirheartsagainsttheartificialworld;andcharmthefiendaway,likeDavid’sharp!!Theworld,aftercenturiesoflies,willgivenatureandtruthatrial.Whataparadiseartwillbe,whentruths,insteadoflies,shallbetoldonpaper,onmarble,oncanvas,andontheboards!!!\"
\"Dinner’sontheboarrd,\"murmuredChristie,alludingtoLordIpsden’sbreakfast;\"andIhaethechargeo’ye,\"pullinghissleevehardenoughtodestroytheequilibriumofaflea.
\"Thendon’tletuswasteourtimehere.Oh,Christie!\"
\"Whatest,myladdy?\"
\"I’msopreciouslyhungry!!!!\"
\"C—way*then!\"
*Comeaway.
Offtheyran,handinhand,sparksofbeauty,loveandhappinessflyingallaboutthem.
CHAPTERXVII.
\"THEREisnothingbutmeetingandpartinginthisworld!\"andyoumaybesuretheincongruouspersonagesofourtalecouldnotlongbetogether.
Theirseparatepathshadmetforaninstantinonefocus,furnishedthenandtherethematterofaneccentricstory,andthendivergedforever.
Ourliveshaveageneralcurrent,andalsoanepisodeortwo;andtheepisodesofacommonplacelifeareoftenratherstartling;inlikemannerthistaleisnotaspecimen,butanepisodeofLordIpsdenandLadyBarbara,whosoonafterthismarriedandlivedliketherestofthe_beaumonde._Insodoing,theypassedoutofmyhands;suchaswishtoknowhowviscountsandviscountessesfeedandsleep,anddothedomestic(socalled),andthesocial(socalled),arereferredtothefashionablenovel.ToMr.Saunders,forinstance,whohasinthepressoneofthosecerberus—leviathansoffiction,socommonnow;incredibleasfoliotofutureages.Saunderswilltakeyoubythehand,andleadyouovercarpetstwoinchesthick——underrosycurtains——todinner—tables.Hewill_fete_you,andoperayou,anddazzleyouryoungimaginationwith_e’p’ergnes,_andsalvers,andbuhlandormolu.Nofishwivesorpaintersshallintrudeuponhispolishedscenes;allshallbeasgenteelashimself.Saundersisagoodauthority;heismoreinthesociety,andfarmoreintheconfidenceofthegreat,thanmostfashionablenovelists.Mr.
Saunders’sworkwillbeinthreevolumes;ninehundredandninetypages!!!!!!
Inotherwords,thissingleworkofthisingeniouswriterwillequalinbulktheaggregateofallthewritingsextantbyMoses,David,Solomon,Isaiah,andSt.Paul!!!
Ishallnotventureintocompetitionwiththisbehemothofthe_salon;_I
willevaporateinthingeneralities.
LordIpsdenthenlivedveryhappilywithLadyBarbara,whoseherohestraightwaybecame,andwhonoblyandpoeticallydotesuponhim.Hehasgoneintopoliticallifetopleaseher,andwillremainthere——topleasehimself.TheywerebothverygratefultoNewhaven;whentheymarriedtheyvowedtovisitittwiceayear,andmingleafortnight’ssimplelifewithitssimplescenes;butfouryearshavepassed,andtheyhaveneverbeenthereagain,andIdaresayneverwill;butwhenViscountIpsdenfallsinwithabrotheraristocratwhoiscrushedbythefiend_ennui,_heremembersAberford,andcondenseshisfamousrecipeintoatwo—edgedhexameter,whichwillmakemylearnedreaderlaugh,foritisfullofwisdom:
\"Diluculosurgas!miserissuccurrerediscas!!\"
FluckerJohnstonemeditatedduringbreakfastuponthefivehundredpounds,andregrettedhehadnotyearsagoadoptedMr.Gatty’sprofession;somedaysafterwardheinvitedhissistertoaconference.
Chairsbeingset,Mr.Fluckerlaiddownthisobservation,thatnearrelationsshouldbedeucedcarefulnottocastdiscreditupononeanother;thatnowhissisterwastobealady,itwasrepugnanttohissenseofrighttobeafishermanandmakeherladyshipblushforhim;onthecontrary,hefeltithisdutytorisetosuchhighconsiderationthatsheshouldbeproudofhim.
Christieacquiescedatonceinthisposition,butprofessedherselfembarrassedtoknowhowsucha\"ne’er—do—weel\"wastobemadeasourceofpride;thenshekissedFlucker,andsaid,inatonesomewhatinconsistentwiththeabove,\"Tellme,mylaamb!\"
Herlambinformedherthattheseahasmanypaths;someofthemdisgraceful,suchaslineornetfishing,andtheperiodicallayingdown,onrockyshoals,andtakingupagain,oflobster—creels;others,superiortoanythingthedrylandcanofferinimportanceanddignityandgeneralestimation,suchasthecommandofamerchantvesseltradingtotheEastorWestIndies.Herlambthensuggestedthatifshewouldbesogoodastolaunchhiminthemerchant—service,withagoodrigofclothesandmoneyinhispocket,therewasthatinhisheadwhichwouldenablehimtoworktowindwardofmostofhiscontemporaries.Hebadehercalculateuponthefollowingresults:Inayearortwohewouldbesecondmate,andnextyearfirstmate,andinafewyearsmoreskipper!Thinkofthat,lass!Skipperofavessel,whoserighegenerouslylefthissisterfreetodetermine;premisingthattwomastswere,inhistheoryofnavigation,indispensable,andthatthreewereagreatdealmorelikeCockerthantwo.Thisledtoageneralconsultation;Flucker’sambitionwasdiscussedandpraised.Thatmodestyounggentleman,inspiteofmanyinjunctionstothecontrary,communicatedhissister’splansforhimtoLordIpsden,andaffectedtodoubttheirprudence.Thebaittook;LordIpsdenwrotetohismanofbusiness,andanunexpectedblowfellupontheingeniousFlucker.
Hewassenttoschool;theretolearnalittleastronomy,alittlenavigation,alittleseamanship,alittlemanners,etc.;inthemysteriesofreadingandwritinghissisterhadalreadyperfectedhimbydintof\"thetaws.\"Thisschoolwasablow;butFluckerwasnofool;hesawtherewasnowayofgettingfromschooltoseawithoutworking.Soheliterallyworkedouttosea.Hisfirstvoyagewasdistinguishedbythefollowingpeculiarities:Attemptstoputtricksuponthisparticularnovicegenerallyendedinthelaughturningagainsttheexperimenters;andinsteadofdrinkinghisgrog,whichhehates,hesecretedit,andsolditforvariousadvantages.Hehasbeennowfourvoyages.Whenhecomesashore,insteadofgoingtohauntsoffollyandvice,heinstantlybearsupforhissister’shouse——KensingtonGravel—pits——whichhemakesinthefollowingmanner:Hegoesuptheriver——Heavenknowswhereall——thishecallsrunningdownthelongitude;thenhelands,andbearsdownupontheGravel—pits;inparticularknowledgeofthenamesofstreetsheisdeficient,butheknowstheexactbearingsofChristie’sdwelling.Hetacksandwearsaccordingasmasonrycompelshim,andhearrivesatthegate.Hehailsthehouse,inavoicethatbringsalltheinhabitantsoftherowtotheirwindows,includingChristie;heisfallenuponanddraggedintothehouse.Thefirstthingis,hedrawsoutfromhisboots,andhisback,andotherhiding—places,ChinacrapeandmarveloussilkhandkerchiefsforChristie;andshetakesfromhispocketamassofOrientalsugar—plums,withwhich,butforthisprecaution,sheknowsbyexperiencehewouldpoisonyoungCharley;andsoonheistobeseensittingwithhishandinhissister’s,andshelooknglikeamotheruponhishandsome,weather—beatenface,andGattyopposite,adoringhimasaspecimenofmalebeauty,andsometimesmakingfurtivesketchesofhim.
Andthenthetaleshealwaysbringswithhim;thehouseisneververydull,butitislivelierthaneverwhenthisinexhaustiblesailorcastsanchorinit.
Thefriends(chieflyartists)whousedtoleaveat9:30,staytilleleven;foranintelligentsailorisbettercompanythantwolawyers,twobishops,threesoldiers,andfourwritersofplaysandtales,allrolledtogether.AndstillhetellsChristieheshallcommandavesselsomeday,andleadshertothemostcheeringinferencesfromthefactofhisprudenceandhisgeneralwidth—awake;inparticularhebidshercontrastwithhimthegeneralfateofsailors,eatenupbyland—sharks,particularlyofthefemalegender,whomhedemonstratestobetheworstenemiespoorJackhas;hecallsthesesunkenrocks,fire—shipsandothermetaphors.Heconcludesthus:\"YouareallthelassImeantohavetillI’maskipper,andthenI’llbearupalongsidesomepretty,decentlass,likeyourself,Christie,andwe’llsailincompanyallourlives,letthewindblowhighorlow.\"SuchisthegraciousFluckerbecomeinhistwentiethyear.Lastvoyage,withChristie’said,heproducedasextantofhisown,and\"madeittwelveo’clock\"(withthesun’sconsent,I
hope),andtheeyesofauthorityfelluponhim.So,whoknows?perhapshemayoneday,sailaship;and,ifhedoes,hewillbeprouderandhappierthanifwemadehimmonarchoftheglobe.
Toreturntoourchiefs;Mrs.Gattygaveherformalconsenttoherson’smarriagewithChristieJohnstone.
Therewereexamples.Aristocracyhaderenowcondescendedtowealth;
earlshadmarriedwomenrichbytallow—importingpapas;andnodoubt,hadthesesameearlsbeenconsultedinGatty’scase,theywouldhavedecidedthatChristieJohnstone,withherrealandfundedproperty,wasnotavillainousmatchforagreengrocer’sson,withoutarapp;*butMrs.
Gattydidnotreasonso,didnotreasonatall,luckily,herheartranawaywithherjudgment,and,herjudgmentceasingtoact,shebecameawisewoman.
*AdiminutiveGermancoin.
Thecasewaspeculiar.Gattywasaartist_pursang_——andChristie,whowouldnothavebeenthewifefora_petitmaitre,_wasthewifeofwivesforhim.
Hewantedabeautifulwifetoembellishhiscanvas,disfiguredhithertobyaninjudiciousselectionofmodels;avirtuouswifetobehiscrown;aprudentwifetosavehimfromruin;acheerfulwifetosustainhisspirits,droopingattimesbyvirtueofhisartist’stemperament;anintellectualwifetopreservehischildrenfrombeingborndoltsandbreddunces,andtokeephisownmindfromsharpeningtoonepoint,andsocontractingandbecomingmonomaniacal.Andhefoundallthesequalities,togetherwiththesunandmoonofhumanexistence——trueloveandtruereligion——inChristieJohnstone.
Insimilarcases,foolishmenhavesettoworktomake,insixmonths,theirdiamondofnature,theexactcutandglossofothermen’spastes,and,nervouslywatchingtheprocess,havesufferedtorture;luckilyCharlesGattywasnotwiseenoughforthis;hesawnaturehaddistinguishedherhelovedbeyondherfellows;here,aselsewhere,hehadfaithinnature——hebelievedthatChristiewouldcharmeverybodyofeye,andear,andmind,andheart,thatapproachedher;headmiredherasshewas,andlefthertopolishherself,ifshechose.Hedidwell;shecametoLondonwithafinemind,abroadbrogue,adelicateear;sheobservedhowherhusband’sfriendsspoke,andinaveryfewmonthsshehadtoneddownherScotchtoarichIoniccoloring,whichherwomanlyinstinctwillneverletherexchangeforthethin,vinegaraccentsthataretooprevalentinEnglishandFrenchsociety;andinotherrespectsshecaught,byeasygradation,thetoneofthenewsocietytowhichhermarriageintroducedher,without,however,losinghercharmingself.
Thewisedowagerlodgeshardby,havingresistedaninvitationtobeinthesamehouse;shecomestothathousetoassisttheyoungwifewithherexperience,andtobewelcome——nottointerfereeveryminute,andteaseher;shelovesherdaughter—in—lawalmostasmuchasshedoesherson,andsheishappybecausehebidsfairtobeanimmortalpainter,and,aboveall,agentleman;andshe,awifelywife,amotherlymother,and,aboveall,alady.
This,then,isahappycouple.Theirlifeisfullofpurposeandindustry,yetlightenedbygayety;theygotooperas,theatersandballs,fortheyareyoung.Theyhaveplentyofsociety,realsociety,nottheill—assortedcollectionofapredeterminednumberofbodies,thatblindlyassumesthatname,buttherichcommunicationofvariousandfertileminds;theyvery,veryseldomconsenttosquatfourmortalhoursononechair(likeoldharesstiffeningintheirhotforms),andnibbling,sippingandtwaddlinginfourmortalhourswhatcouldhavebeeneaten,drunkenandsaidinthirty—fiveminutes.Theyarebothartistsatheart,anditshockstheirnaturestoseefolksmixsoverylargelythe_inutile_withthe_insipidum,_andwaste,atonehugebutbarrenincubation,thesoul,andthestomach,andtheirrevocablehours,thingswithwhichsomuchistobedone.Buttheyhavemanydesirableacquaintances,andnotafewfriends;thelatteraremostlyloversoftruthintheirseveraldepartments,andinallthings.Amongthemarepainters,sculptors,engineers,writers,conversers,thinkers;theseacknowledging,eveninEngland,othergodsbesidestheintestines,meetoften_chez_Gatty,chieflyformentalintercourse;acupofteawithsuchisfound,byexperience,tobebetterthanastalledelkwherechit—chatreignsovertheprostratehours.
This,then,isahappycouple;theverypigeonsandthecrowsneednotblushforthenestatKensingtonGravel—pits.TherethedivineinstitutionMarriagetakesitsnaturalcolors,anditisatoncepleasantandgoodtocatchsuchglimpsesofHeaven’sdesign,andsadtothinkhowoftenthisgreatboon,accordedbyGodtomanandwoman,musthavebeenabusedandperverted,ereitcouldhavesunktobethestandingbuttoffarce—writers,andthethemeofweeklypunsters.
Inthispairweseethewondersamaleandfemalecandoforeachotherinthesweetbondofholywedlock.Inthatblessedrelationalonetwointerestsarereallyone,andtwoheartsliesafeatanchorsidebyside.
ChristieandCharlesarefriends——fortheyaremanandwife.
ChristieandCharlesareloversstill——fortheyaremanandwife.
ChristieandCharlesareoneforever——fortheyaremanandwife.
Thiswifebrightensthehouse,fromkitchentogarret,forherhusband;
thishusbandworkslikeakingforhiswife’scomfort,andforhisownfame——andthatfameishiswife’sglory.Whenoneoftheseexpressesorhintsawish,theother’sfirstimpulseistofindthemeans,nottheobjections.
Theysharealltroubles,and,bysharing,halvethem.
Theyshareallpleasures,and,bysharing,doublethem.
Theyclimbthehilltogethernow,andmanyacantydaytheyshallhavewithoneanother;andwhen,bytheinevitablelaw,theybegintodescendtowardthedarkvalley,theywillstillgohandinhand,smilingsotenderly,andsupportingeachotherwithacaremorelovelythanwhenthearmwasstrongandthefootfirm.
Onthesetwotemperatelivesoldagewilldescendlightly,gradually,gently,andlate——andlateupontheseevergreenhearts,becausetheyarenottunedtosomeselfish,isolatedkey;theseheartsbeatandringwiththeyoungheartsoftheirdearchildren,andyearshencepapaandmammawillbeginlifehopefully,wishfully,warmlyagainwitheachlovednoviceinturn.
Andwhenoldagedoescome,itwillbenocalamitytothese,asitistoyou,poorbatteredbeau,laughedatbythefairninnieswhoerstlaughedwithyou;toyou,poorfollowerofsalmon,fox,andpheasant,whosejointsarestiffening,whosenerveisgone——whoseGolgotharemains;toyou,poorfadedbeauty,whohavestakedalluponman’sappetite,andnotaccumulatedgoodnessorsenseforyoursecondcourse;toyou,poordrawing—roomwit,whosesarcasmhasturnedtovenomandisturningtodrivel.
Whatterrorshasoldageforthishappypair?itcannotmakethemugly,for,thoughthepurplelightofyouthrecedes,anewkindoftranquilbeauty,thealoe—blossomofmanyyearsofinnocence,comesto,andsitslikeadoveupon,theagedfaces,wheregoodness,sympathyandintelligencehaveharboredtogethersolong;andwhereevilpassionshaveflitted(forweareallhuman),butfoundnoresting—place.
Oldageisnocalamitytothem.Itcannotterrifythem;foreretheyhadbeenmarriedaweekthewomantaughttheman,loveroftruth,tosearchforthehighestandgreatesttruthsinabookwrittenformen’ssoulsbytheAuthoroftheworld,thesea,thestars,thesun,thesoul;andthisbook,_Deigratia,_will,asthegoodbishopsings,\"TeachthemtolivethattheymaydreadThegraveaslittleastheirbed.\"
Itcannotmakethemsad,for,ereitcomeslovedsoulswillhavegonefromearthandfromtheirtenderbosom,butnotfromtheirmemories;andwillseemtobeckonthemnowacrossthecoldvalleytothegoldenland.
Itcannotmakethemsad,foronearththehappiestmustdrinkasorrowfulcupmorethanonceinalonglife,andsotheirbrightesthopeswillhavecometodwellhabituallyonthingsbeyondthegrave;andthegreatpainter,_jamSenex,_willchieflymeditateuponaricherlandscapeandbrighterfiguresthanhumanhandhaseverpainted;ascenewhoseglorieshecanseefromhencebutbyglimpsesandthroughaglassdarkly;thegreatmeadowsontheothersideofJordan,whicharebrightwiththespiritsofthejustthatwalkthere,andarewarmedwithaneternalsun,andringwiththetriumphofthehumbleandthetrue,andthepraisesofGodforever.