第1章

EPILOGUE

ProfessorWilsonhadbeenlivinginLondonforsixyearsandhewasjustbackfromavisittoAmerica。Oneafternoon,soonafterhisreturn,heputonhisfrock—coatanddroveinahansomtopayacalluponHildaBurgoyne,whostilllivedatheroldnumber,offBedfordSquare。HeandMissBurgoynehadbeenfastfriendsforalongtime。HehadfirstnoticedheraboutthecorridorsoftheBritishMuseum,wherehereadconstantly。Herbeingtheresooftenhadmadehimfeelthathewouldliketoknowher,andasshewasnotaninaccessibleperson,anintroductionwasnotdifficult。Thepreliminariesonceover,theycametodependagreatdealuponeachother,andWilson,afterhisday’sreading,oftenwentroundtoBedfordSquareforhistea。Theyhadmuchmoreincommonthantheirmemoriesofacommonfriend。Indeed,theyseldomspokeofhim。Theysavedthatforthedeepmomentswhichdonotcomeoften,andthentheirtalkofhimwasmostlysilence。WilsonknewthatHildahadlovedhim;morethanthishehadnottriedtoknow。

ItwaslatewhenWilsonreachedHilda’sapartmentonthisparticularDecemberafternoon,andhefoundheralone。Shesentforfreshteaandmadehimcomfortable,asshehadsuchaknackofmakingpeoplecomfortable。

\"HowgoodyouweretocomebackbeforeChristmas!IquitedreadedtheHolidayswithoutyou。You’vehelpedmeoveragoodmanyChristmases。\"Shesmiledathimgayly。

\"Asifyouneededmeforthat!But,atanyrate,IneededYOU。Howwellyouarelooking,mydear,andhowrested。\"

Hepeeredupatherfromhislowchair,balancingthetipsofhislongfingerstogetherinajudicialmannerwhichhadgrownonhimwithyears。

Hildalaughedasshecarefullypouredhiscream。\"ThatmeansthatIwaslookingveryseedyattheendoftheseason,doesn’tit?

Well,wemustshowwearatlast,youknow。\"

Wilsontookthecupgratefully。\"Ah,noneedtoremindamanofseventy,whohasjustbeenhometofindthathehassurvivedallhiscontemporaries。Iwasmostgentlytreated——asasortofpreciousrelic。But,doyouknow,itmademefeelawkwardtobehangingaboutstill。\"

\"Seventy?Nevermentionittome。\"HildalookedappreciativelyattheProfessor’salertface,withsomanykindlylinesaboutthemouthandsomanyquizzicalonesabouttheeyes。

\"You’vegottohangaboutforme,youknow。

Ican’tevenletyougohomeagain。

Youmuststayput,nowthatIhaveyouback。

You’retherealestthingIhave。\"

Wilsonchuckled。\"Dearme,amI?Outofsomanyconquestsandthespoilsofconqueredcities!You’vereallymissedme?

Well,then,Ishallhang。EvenifyouhaveatlasttoputMEinthemummy—roomwiththeothers。

You’llvisitmeoften,won’tyou?\"

\"Everydayinthecalendar。Here,yourcigarettesareinthisdrawer,whereyouleftthem。\"

Shestruckamatchandlitoneforhim。

\"Butyoudid,afterall,enjoybeingathomeagain?\"

\"Oh,yes。Ifoundthelongrailwayjourneystrying。Peopleliveathousandmilesapart。

ButIdiditthoroughly;Iwasallovertheplace。

ItwasinBostonIlingeredlongest。\"

\"Ah,yousawMrs。Alexander?\"

\"Often。Idinedwithher,andhadteathereadozendifferenttimes,Ishouldthink。

Indeed,itwastoseeherthatIlingeredonandon。IfoundthatIstilllovedtogotothehouse。ItalwaysseemedasifBartleywerethere,somehow,andthatatanymomentonemighthearhisheavytramponthestairs。Doyouknow,Ikeptfeelingthathemustbeupinhisstudy。\"TheProfessorlookedreflectivelyintothegrate。\"Ishouldreallyhavelikedtogoupthere。ThatwaswhereIhadmylastlongtalkwithhim。ButMrs。Alexanderneversuggestedit。\"

\"Why?\"

Wilsonwasalittlestartledbyhertone,andheturnedhisheadsoquicklythathiscuff—linkcaughtthestringofhisnose—glassesandpulledthemawry。\"Why?Why,dearme,Idon’tknow。Sheprobablyneverthoughtofit。\"

Hildabitherlip。\"Idon’tknowwhatmademesaythat。Ididn’tmeantointerrupt。

Goonplease,andtellmehowitwas。\"

\"Well,itwaslikethat。Almostasifhewerethere。Inaway,hereallyisthere。

Sheneverletshimgo。It’sthemostbeautifulanddignifiedsorrowI’veeverknown。It’ssobeautifulthatithasitscompensations,Ishouldthink。Itsverycompletenessisacompensation。Itgivesherafixedstartosteerby。Shedoesn’tdrift。Wesatthereeveningaftereveninginthequietofthatmagicallyhauntedroom,andwatchedthesunsetburnontheriver,andfelthim。

Felthimwithadifference,ofcourse。\"

Hildaleanedforward,herelbowonherknee,herchinonherhand。\"Withadifference?

Becauseofher,youmean?\"

Wilson’sbrowwrinkled。\"Somethinglikethat,yes。

Ofcourse,astimegoeson,toherhebecomesmoreandmoretheirsimplepersonalrelation。\"

HildastudiedthedroopoftheProfessor’sheadintently。\"Youdidn’taltogetherlikethat?Youfeltitwasn’twhollyfairtohim?\"

Wilsonshookhimselfandreadjustedhisglasses。\"Oh,fairenough。Morethanfair。

Ofcourse,Ialwaysfeltthatmyimageofhimwasjustalittledifferentfromhers。

Norelationissocompletethatitcanholdabsolutelyallofaperson。AndIlikedhimjustashewas;hisdeviations,too;

theplaceswherehedidn’tsquare。\"

Hildaconsideredvaguely。\"Hasshegrownmucholder?\"sheaskedatlast。

\"Yes,andno。Inatragicwaysheisevenhandsomer。Butcolder。Coldforeverythingbuthim。`Forgetthyselftomarble’;Ikeptthinkingofthat。Herhappinesswasahappinessadeux,notapartfromtheworld,butactuallyagainstit。Andnowhergriefislikethat。Shesavesherselfforitanddoesn’tevengothroughtheformofseeingpeoplemuch。

I’msorry。Itwouldbebetterforher,andmightbesogoodforthem,ifshecouldletotherpeoplein。\"

\"Perhapsshe’safraidoflettinghimoutalittle,ofsharinghimwithsomebody。\"

Wilsonputdownhiscupandlookedupwithvaguealarm。\"Dearme,ittakesawomantothinkofthat,now!Idon’t,youknow,thinkweoughttobehardonher。More,even,thantherestofusshedidn’tchooseherdestiny。Sheunderwentit。Andithasleftherchilled。Astohernotwishingtotaketheworldintoherconfidence——well,itisaprettybrutalandstupidworld,afterall,youknow。\"

Hildaleanedforward。\"Yes,Iknow,Iknow。

OnlyIcan’thelpbeinggladthattherewassomethingforhimeveninstupidandvulgarpeople。

MylittleMarieworshipedhim。WhensheisdustingIalwaysknowwhenshehascometohispicture。\"

Wilsonnodded。\"Oh,yes!Heleftanecho。

Theripplesgooninallofus。

Hebelongedtothepeoplewhomaketheplay,andmostofusareonlyonlookersatthebest。

Weshouldn’twondertoomuchatMrs。Alexander。

Shemustfeelhowuselessitwouldbetostirabout,thatshemayaswellsitstill;

thatnothingcanhappentoherafterBartley。\"

\"Yes,\"saidHildasoftly,\"nothingcanhappentooneafterBartley。\"

Theybothsatlookingintothefire。

TheEnd Alexander’sBridge byWillaCatherCHAPTERI

LateonebrilliantAprilafternoonProfessorLuciusWilsonstoodattheheadofChestnutStreet,lookingabouthimwiththepleasedairofamanoftastewhodoesnotveryoftengettoBoston。

Hehadlivedthereasastudent,butfortwentyyearsandmore,sincehehadbeenProfessorofPhilosophyinaWesternuniversity,hehadseldomcomeEastexcepttotakeasteamerforsomeforeignport。

Wilsonwasstandingquitestill,contemplatingwithawhimsicalsmiletheslantingstreet,withitswornpaving,itsirregular,gravelycoloredhouses,andtherowofnakedtreesonwhichthethinsunlightwasstillshining。

Thegleamoftheriveratthefootofthehillmadehimblinkalittle,notsomuchbecauseitwastoobrightasbecausehefounditsopleasant。

Thefewpassers—byglancedathimunconcernedly,andeventhechildrenwhohurriedalongwiththeirschool—bagsundertheirarmsseemedtofinditperfectlynaturalthatatallbrowngentlemanshouldbestandingthere,lookingupthroughhisglassesatthegrayhousetops。

Thesunsankrapidly;thesilverylighthadfadedfromthebareboughsandthewaterytwilightwassettinginwhenWilsonatlastwalkeddownthehill,descendingintocoolerandcoolerdepthsofgrayishshadow。

Hisnostril,longunusedtoit,wasquicktodetectthesmellofwoodsmokeintheair,blendedwiththeodorofmoistspringearthandthesaltinessthatcameuptheriverwiththetide。HecrossedCharlesStreetbetweenjanglingstreetcarsandshelvinglumberdrays,andafteramomentofuncertaintywoundintoBrimmerStreet。Thestreetwasquiet,deserted,andhungwithathinbluishhaze。Hehadalreadyfixedhissharpeyeuponthehousewhichhereasonedshouldbehisobjectivepoint,whenhenoticedawomanapproachingrapidlyfromtheoppositedirection。

Alwaysaninterestedobserverofwomen,Wilsonwouldhaveslackenedhispaceanywheretofollowthisonewithhisimpersonal,appreciativeglance。Shewasapersonofdistinctionhesawatonce,and,moreover,veryhandsome。Shewastall,carriedherbeautifulheadproudly,andmovedwitheaseandcertainty。Oneimmediatelytookforgrantedthecostlyprivilegesandfinespacesthatmustlieinthebackgroundfromwhichsuchafigurecouldemergewiththisrapidandelegantgait。Wilsonnotedherdress,too,——for,inhisway,hehadaneyeforsuchthings,——particularlyherbrownfursandherhat。Hegotablurredimpressionofherfinecolor,thevioletsshewore,herwhitegloves,and,curiouslyenough,ofherveil,assheturnedupaflightofstepsinfrontofhimanddisappeared。

Wilsonwasabletoenjoylovelythingsthatpassedhimonthewingascompletelyanddeliberatelyasiftheyhadbeendug—upmarvels,longanticipated,anddefinitelyfixedattheendofarailwayjourney。Forafewpleasurablesecondshequiteforgotwherehewasgoing,andonlyafterthedoorhadclosedbehindherdidherealizethattheyoungwomanhadenteredthehousetowhichhehaddirectedhistrunkfromtheSouthStationthatmorning。Hehesitatedamomentbeforemountingthesteps。\"Canthat,\"hemurmuredinamazement,——\"canthatpossiblyhavebeenMrs。Alexander?\"

Whentheservantadmittedhim,Mrs。Alexanderwasstillstandinginthehallway。

Sheheardhimgivehisname,andcameforwardholdingoutherhand。

\"Isityou,indeed,ProfessorWilson?I

wasafraidthatyoumightgetherebeforeI

did。Iwasdetainedataconcert,andBartleytelephonedthathewouldbelate。Thomaswillshowyouyourroom。Hadyouratherhaveyourteabroughttoyouthere,orwillyouhaveitdownherewithme,whilewewaitforBartley?\"

Wilsonwaspleasedtofindthathehadbeenthecauseofherrapidwalk,andwithherhewasevenmorevastlypleasedthanbefore。

Hefollowedherthroughthedrawing—roomintothelibrary,wherethewidebackwindowslookedoutuponthegardenandthesunsetandafinestretchofsilver—coloredriver。

Aharp—shapedelmstoodstrippedagainstthepale—coloredeveningsky,withraggedlastyear’sbirds’nestsinitsforks,andthroughthebarebranchestheeveningstarquiveredinthemistyair。Thelongbrownroombreathedthepeaceofarichandamplyguardedquiet。Teawasbroughtinimmediatelyandplacedinfrontofthewoodfire。

Mrs。Alexandersatdowninahigh—backedchairandbegantopourit,whileWilsonsankintoalowseatoppositeherandtookhiscupwithagreatsenseofeaseandharmonyandcomfort。

\"Youhavehadalongjourney,haven’tyou?\"

Mrs。Alexanderasked,aftershowinggraciousconcernabouthistea。\"AndIamsosorryBartleyislate。He’softentiredwhenhe’slate。

HeflattershimselfthatitisalittleonhisaccountthatyouhavecometothisCongressofPsychologists。\"

\"Itis,\"Wilsonassented,selectinghismuffincarefully;\"andIhopehewon’tbetiredtonight。But,onmyownaccount,I’mgladtohaveafewmomentsalonewithyou,beforeBartleycomes。Iwassomehowafraidthatmyknowinghimsowellwouldnotputmeinthewayofgettingtoknowyou。\"

\"That’sveryniceofyou。\"Shenoddedathimabovehercupandsmiled,buttherewasalittleformaltightnessinhertonewhichhadnotbeentherewhenshegreetedhiminthehall。

Wilsonleanedforward。\"HaveIsaidsomethingawkward?

Iliveveryfaroutoftheworld,youknow。

ButIdidn’tmeanthatyouwouldexactlyfadedim,evenifBartleywerehere。\"

Mrs。Alexanderlaughedrelentingly。

\"Oh,I’mnotsovain!Howterriblydiscerningyouare。\"

ShelookedstraightatWilson,andhefeltthatthisquick,frankglancebroughtaboutanunderstandingbetweenthem。

Helikedeverythingabouther,hetoldhimself,butheparticularlylikedhereyes;

whenshelookedatonedirectlyforamomenttheywerelikeaglimpseoffinewindyskythatmaybringallsortsofweather。

\"Sinceyounoticedsomething,\"Mrs。Alexanderwenton,\"itmusthavebeenaflashofthedistrustIhavecometofeelwheneverImeetanyofthepeoplewhoknewBartleywhenhewasaboy。ItisalwaysasiftheyweretalkingofsomeoneIhadnevermet。

Really,ProfessorWilson,itwouldseemthathegrewupamongthestrangestpeople。

Theyusuallysaythathehasturnedoutverywell,orremarkthathealwayswasafinefellow。

Ineverknowwhatreplytomake。\"

Wilsonchuckledandleanedbackinhischair,shakinghisleftfootgently。\"Iexpectthefactisthatwenoneofusknewhimverywell,Mrs。Alexander。ThoughIwillsayformyselfthatIwasalwaysconfidenthe’ddosomethingextraordinary。\"

Mrs。Alexander’sshouldersgaveaslightmovement,suggestiveofimpatience。

\"Oh,Ishouldthinkthatmighthavebeenasafeprediction。Anothercup,please?\"

\"Yes,thankyou。Butpredicting,inthecaseofboys,isnotsoeasyasyoumightimagine,Mrs。Alexander。Somegetabadhurtearlyandlosetheircourage;andsomenevergetafairwind。Bartley\"——hedroppedhischinonthebackofhislonghandandlookedatheradmiringly——\"Bartleycaughtthewindearly,andithassunginhissailseversince。\"

Mrs。Alexandersatlookingintothefirewithintentpreoccupation,andWilsonstudiedherhalf—avertedface。Helikedthesuggestionofstormypossibilitiesintheproudcurveofherlipandnostril。Withoutthat,hereflected,shewouldbetoocold。

\"Ishouldliketoknowwhathewasreallylikewhenhewasaboy。Idon’tbelieveheremembers,\"shesaidsuddenly。

\"Won’tyousmoke,Mr。Wilson?\"

Wilsonlitacigarette。\"No,Idon’tsupposehedoes。Hewasneverintrospective。HewassimplythemosttremendousresponsetostimuliIhaveeverknown。Wedidn’tknowexactlywhattodowithhim。\"

Aservantcameinandnoiselesslyremovedthetea—tray。Mrs。Alexanderscreenedherfacefromthefirelight,whichwasbeginningtothrowwaveringbrightspotsonherdressandhairastheduskdeepened。

\"Ofcourse,\"shesaid,\"Inowandagainhearstoriesaboutthingsthathappenedwhenhewasincollege。\"

\"Butthatisn’twhatyouwant。\"Wilsonwrinkledhisbrowsandlookedatherwiththesmilingfamiliaritythathadcomeaboutsoquickly。

\"Whatyouwantisapictureofhim,standingbackthereattheotherendoftwentyyears。

Youwanttolookdownthroughmymemory。\"

Shedroppedherhandsinherlap。\"Yes,yes;

that’sexactlywhatIwant。\"

Atthismomenttheyheardthefrontdoorshutwithajar,andWilsonlaughedasMrs。Alexanderrosequickly。\"Thereheis。

Awaywithperspective!Nopast,nofutureforBartley;justthefierymoment。Theonlymomentthateverwasorwillbeintheworld!\"

Thedoorfromthehallopened,avoicecalled\"Winifred?\"hurriedly,andabigmancamethroughthedrawing—roomwithaquick,heavytread,bringingwithhimasmellofcigarsmokeandchillout—of—doorsair。

WhenAlexanderreachedthelibrarydoor,heswitchedonthelightsandstoodsixfeetandmoreinthearchway,glowingwithstrengthandcordialityandrugged,blondgoodlooks。

Therewereotherbridge—buildersintheworld,certainly,butitwasalwaysAlexander’spicturethattheSundaySupplementmenwanted,becausehelookedasatamerofriversoughttolook。Underhistumbledsandyhairhisheadseemedashardandpowerfulasacatapult,andhisshoulderslookedstrongenoughinthemselvestosupportaspanofanyoneofhistengreatbridgesthatcuttheairaboveasmanyrivers。

AfterdinnerAlexandertookWilsonuptohisstudy。Itwasalargeroomoverthelibrary,andlookedoutupontheblackriverandtherowofwhitelightsalongtheCambridgeEmbankment。Theroomwasnotatallwhatonemightexpectofanengineer’sstudy。

Wilsonfeltatoncetheharmonyofbeautifulthingsthathavelivedlongtogetherwithoutobtrusionsofuglinessorchange。ItwasnoneofAlexander’sdoing,ofcourse;thosewarmconsonancesofcolorhadbeenblendingandmellowingbeforehewasborn。Butthewonderwasthathewasnotoutofplacethere,——

thatitallseemedtoglowliketheinevitablebackgroundforhisvigorandvehemence。Hesatbeforethefire,hisshouldersdeepinthecushionsofhischair,hispowerfulheadupright,hishairrumpledabovehisbroadforehead。

Hesatheavily,acigarinhislarge,smoothhand,aflushofafter—dinnercolorinhisface,whichwindandsunandexposuretoallsortsofweatherhadleftfairandclearskinned。

\"YouareoffforEnglandonSaturday,Bartley,Mrs。Alexandertellsme。\"

\"Yes,forafewweeksonly。There’sameetingofBritishengineers,andI’mdoinganotherbridgeinCanada,youknow。\"

\"Oh,everyoneknowsaboutthat。AnditwasinCanadathatyoumetyourwife,wasn’tit?\"

Yes,atAllway。Shewasvisitinghergreat—auntthere。Amostremarkableoldlady。

IwasworkingwithMacKellerthen,anoldScotchengineerwhohadpickedmeupinLondonandtakenmebacktoQuebecwithhim。

HehadthecontractfortheAllwayBridge,butbeforehebeganworkonithefoundoutthathewasgoingtodie,andheadvisedthecommitteetoturnthejobovertome。

OtherwiseI’dneverhavegotanythinggoodsoearly。MacKellerwasanoldfriendofMrs。Pemberton,Winifred’saunt。Hehadmentionedmetoher,sowhenIwenttoAllwaysheaskedmetocometoseeher。

Shewasawonderfuloldlady。\"

\"Likeherniece?\"Wilsonqueried。

Bartleylaughed。\"Shehadbeenveryhandsome,butnotinWinifred’sway。

WhenIknewhershewaslittleandfragile,verypinkandwhite,withasplendidheadandafacelikefineoldlace,somehow,——butperhapsIalwaysthinkofthatbecausesheworealacescarfonherhair。Shehadsuchaflavoroflifeabouther。ShehadknownGordonandLivingstoneandBeaconsfieldwhenshewasyoung,——everyone。ShewasthefirstwomanofthatsortI’deverknown。YouknowhowitisintheWest,——oldpeoplearepokedoutoftheway。AuntEleanorfascinatedmeasfewyoungwomenhaveeverdone。Iusedtogoupfromtheworkstohaveteawithher,andsittalkingtoherforhours。Itwasverystimulating,forshecouldn’ttoleratestupidity。\"

\"Itmusthavebeenthenthatyourluckbegan,Bartley,\"saidWilson,flickinghiscigarashwithhislongfinger。\"It’scurious,watchingboys,\"hewentonreflectively。

\"I’msureIdidyoujusticeinthematterofability。

YetIalwaysusedtofeelthattherewasaweakspotwheresomedaystrainwouldtell。

Evenafteryoubegantoclimb,Istooddowninthecrowdandwatchedyouwith——well,notwithconfidence。Themoredazzlingthefrontyoupresented,thehigheryourfacaderose,themoreIexpectedtoseeabigcrackzigzaggingfromtoptobottom,\"——heindicateditscourseintheairwithhisforefinger,——

\"thenacrashandcloudsofdust。Itwascurious。

Ihadsuchaclearpictureofit。Andanothercuriousthing,Bartley,\"Wilsonspokewithdeliberatenessandsettleddeeperintohischair,\"isthatIdon’tfeelitanylonger。

Iamsureofyou。\"

Alexanderlaughed。\"Nonsense!It’snotI

youfeelsureof;it’sWinifred。Peopleoftenmakethatmistake。\"

\"No,I’mserious,Alexander。You’vechanged。

Youhavedecidedtoleavesomebirdsinthebushes。

Youusedtowantthemall。\"

Alexander’schaircreaked。\"Istillwantagoodmany,\"hesaidrathergloomily。\"Afterall,lifedoesn’tofferamanmuch。Youworklikethedevilandthinkyou’regettingon,andsuddenlyyoudiscoverthatyou’veonlybeengettingyourselftiedup。Amilliondetailsdrinkyoudry。Yourlifekeepsgoingforthingsyoudon’twant,andallthewhileyouarebeingbuiltaliveintoasocialstructureyoudon’tcarearapabout。IsometimeswonderwhatsortofchapI’dhavebeenifI

hadn’tbeenthissort;Iwanttogoandliveouthispotentialities,too。Ihaven’tforgottenthattherearebirdsinthebushes。\"

Bartleystoppedandsatfrowningintothefire,hisshouldersthrustforwardasifhewereabouttospringatsomething。Wilsonwatchedhim,wondering。Hisoldpupilalwaysstimulatedhimatfirst,andthenvastlyweariedhim。

Themachinerywasalwayspoundingawayinthisman,andWilsonpreferredcompanionsofamorereflectivehabitofmind。HecouldnothelpfeelingthattherewereunreasoningandunreasonableactivitiesgoingoninAlexanderallthewhile;

thatevenafterdinner,whenmostmenachieveadecentimpersonality,Bartleyhadmerelyclosedthedooroftheengine—roomandcomeupforanairing。Themachineryitselfwasstillpoundingon。

Bartley’sabstractionandWilson’sreflectionswerecutshortbyarustleatthedoor,andalmostbeforetheycouldriseMrs。

Alexanderwasstandingbythehearth。

Alexanderbroughtachairforher,butsheshookherhead。

\"No,dear,thankyou。IonlycameintoseewhetheryouandProfessorWilsonwerequitecomfortable。Iamgoingdowntothemusic—room。\"

\"Whynotpracticehere?WilsonandIaregrowingverydull。Wearetiredoftalk。\"

\"Yes,Ibegyou,Mrs。Alexander,\"

Wilsonbegan,buthegotnofurther。

\"Why,certainly,ifyouwon’tfindmetoonoisy。IamworkingontheSchumann`Carnival,’and,thoughIdon’tpracticeagreatmanyhours,Iamverymethodical,\"

Mrs。Alexanderexplained,asshecrossedtoanuprightpianothatstoodatthebackoftheroom,nearthewindows。

Wilsonfollowed,and,havingseenherseated,droppedintoachairbehindher。Sheplayedbrilliantlyandwithgreatmusicalfeeling。

Wilsoncouldnotimagineherpermittingherselftodoanythingbadly,buthewassurprisedatthecleannessofherexecution。

Hewonderedhowawomanwithsomanydutieshadmanagedtokeepherselfuptoastandardreallyprofessional。Itmusttakeagreatdealoftime,certainly,andBartleymusttakeagreatdealoftime。Wilsonreflectedthathehadneverbeforeknownawomanwhohadbeenable,foranyconsiderablewhile,tosupportbothapersonalandanintellectualpassion。Sittingbehindher,hewatchedherwithperplexedadmiration,shadinghiseyeswithhishand。Inherdinnerdressshelookedevenyoungerthaninstreetclothes,and,forallhercomposureandself—sufficiency,sheseemedtohimstrangelyalertandvibrating,asifinher,too,thereweresomethingneveraltogetheratrest。Hefeltthatheknewprettymuchwhatshedemandedinpeopleandwhatshedemandedfromlife,andhewonderedhowshesquaredBartley。Aftertenyearsshemustknowhim;

andhoweveronetookhim,howevermuchoneadmiredhim,onehadtoadmitthathesimplywouldn’tsquare。Hewasanaturalforce,certainly,butbeyondthat,Wilsonfelt,hewasnotanythingveryreallyorforverylongatatime。

Wilsonglancedtowardthefire,whereBartley’sprofilewasstillwreathedincigarsmokethatcurledupmoreandmoreslowly。

Hisshouldersweresunkdeepinthecushionsandonehandhunglargeandpassiveoverthearmofhischair。Hehadslippedonapurplevelvetsmoking—coat。Hiswife,Wilsonsurmised,hadchosenit。Shewasclearlyveryproudofhisgoodlooksandhisfinecolor。

But,withtheglowofanimmediateinterestgoneoutofit,theengineer’sfacelookedtired,evenalittlehaggard。Thethreelinesinhisforehead,directlyabovethenose,deepenedashesatthinking,andhispowerfulheaddroopedforwardheavily。AlthoughAlexanderwasonlyforty—three,Wilsonthoughtthatbeneathhisvigorouscolorhedetectedthedullingwearinessofon—comingmiddleage。

Thenextafternoon,atthehourwhentheriverwasbeginningtoreddenunderthedecliningsun,WilsonagainfoundhimselffacingMrs。Alexanderatthetea—tableinthelibrary。

\"Well,\"heremarked,whenhewasbiddentogiveanaccountofhimself,\"therewasalongmorningwiththepsychologists,luncheonwithBartleyathisclub,morepsychologists,andhereIam。

I’velookedforwardtothishourallday。\"

Mrs。Alexandersmiledathimacrossthevaporfromthekettle。\"Anddoyourememberwherewestoppedyesterday?\"

\"Perfectly。Iwasgoingtoshowyouapicture。ButIdoubtwhetherIhavecolorenoughinme。Bartleymakesmefeelafadedmonochrome。Youcan’tgetattheyoungBartleyexceptbymeansofcolor。\"Wilsonpausedanddeliberated。Suddenlyhebrokeout:\"Hewasn’taremarkablestudent,youknow,thoughhewasalwaysstronginhighermathematics。Hisworkinmyowndepartmentwasquiteordinary。ItwasasapowerfullyequippednaturethatIfoundhiminteresting。

Thatisthemostinterestingthingateachercanfind。Ithasthefascinationofascientificdiscovery。Wecomeacrossotherpleasingandendearingqualitiessomuchoftenerthanwefindforce。\"

\"And,afterall,\"saidMrs。Alexander,\"thatisthethingweallliveupon。

Itisthethingthattakesusforward。\"

Wilsonthoughtshespokealittlewistfully。

\"Exactly,\"heassentedwarmly。\"Itbuildsthebridgesintothefuture,overwhichthefeetofeveryoneofuswillgo。\"

\"HowinterestedIamtohearyouputitinthatway。Thebridgesintothefuture——

Ioftensaythattomyself。Bartley’sbridgesalwaysseemtomelikethat。HaveyoueverseenhisfirstsuspensionbridgeinCanada,theonehewasdoingwhenIfirstknewhim?

Ihopeyouwillseeitsometime。Weweremarriedassoonasitwasfinished,andyouwilllaughwhenItellyouthatitalwayshasaratherbridallooktome。Itisoverthewildestriver,withmistsandcloudsalwaysbattlingaboutit,anditisasdelicateasacobwebhanginginthesky。Itreallywasabridgeintothefuture。Youhaveonlytolookatittofeelthatitmeantthebeginningofagreatcareer。

ButIhaveaphotographofithere。\"Shedrewaportfoliofrombehindabookcase。\"Andthere,yousee,onthehill,ismyaunt’shouse。\"

Wilsontookupthephotograph。\"Bartleywastellingmesomethingaboutyourauntlastnight。

Shemusthavebeenadelightfulperson。\"

Winifredlaughed。\"Thebridge,yousee,wasjustatthefootofthehill,andthenoiseoftheenginesannoyedherverymuchatfirst。

ButaftershemetBartleyshepretendedtolikeit,andsaiditwasagoodthingtoberemindedthattherewerethingsgoingonintheworld。Shelovedlife,andBartleybroughtagreatdealofitintoherwhenhecametothehouse。AuntEleanorwasveryworldlyinafrank,Early—Victorianmanner。

Shelikedmenofaction,anddislikedyoungmenwhowerecarefulofthemselvesandwho,assheputit,werealwaystrimmingtheirwickasiftheywereafraidoftheiroil’sgivingout。MacKeller,Bartley’sfirstchief,wasanoldfriendofmyaunt,andhetoldherthatBartleywasawild,ill—governedyouth,whichreallypleasedherverymuch。

IrememberweweresittingaloneintheduskafterBartleyhadbeenthereforthefirsttime。

IknewthatAuntEleanorhadfoundhimmuchtohertaste,butshehadn’tsaidanything。

Presentlyshecameout,withachuckle:

`MacKellerfoundhimsowingwildoatsinLondon,Ibelieve。Ihopehedidn’tstophimtoosoon。Lifecoquetswithdashingfellows。

Thecomingmenarealwayslikethat。

Wemusthavehimtodinner,mydear。’

Andwedid。ShegrewmuchfonderofBartleythanshewasofme。IhadbeenstudyinginVienna,andshethoughtthatabsurd。

Shewasinterestedinthearmyandinpolitics,andshehadagreatcontemptformusicandartandphilosophy。SheusedtodeclarethatthePrinceConsorthadbroughtallthatstuffoveroutofGermany。ShealwayssniffedwhenBartleyaskedmetoplayforhim。Sheconsideredthatanewfangledwayofmakingamatchofit。\"

WhenAlexandercameinafewmomentslater,hefoundWilsonandhiswifestillconfrontingthephotograph。\"Oh,letusgetthatoutoftheway,\"hesaid,laughing。

\"Winifred,Thomascanbringmytrunkdown。

I’vedecidedtogoovertoNewYorkto—morrownightandtakeafastboat。

Ishallsavetwodays。\"

CHAPTERII

OnthenightofhisarrivalinLondon,AlexanderwentimmediatelytothehotelontheEmbankmentatwhichhealwaysstopped,andinthelobbyhewasaccostedbyanoldacquaintance,MauriceMainhall,whofelluponhimwitheffusivecordialityandindicatedawillingnesstodinewithhim。

Bartleyneverdinedaloneifhecouldhelpit,andMainhallwasagoodgossipwhoalwaysknewwhathadbeengoingonintown;especially,hekneweverythingthatwasnotprintedinthenewspapers。ThenephewofoneofthestandardVictoriannovelists,MainhallbobbedaboutamongthevariousliterarycliquesofLondonanditsoutlyingsuburbs,carefultolosetouchwithnoneofthem。Hehadwrittenanumberofbookshimself;amongthema\"HistoryofDancing,\"a\"HistoryofCostume,\"

a\"KeytoShakespeare’sSonnets,\"astudyof\"ThePoetryofErnestDowson,\"etc。

AlthoughMainhall’senthusiasmwasoftentiresome,andalthoughhewasoftenunabletodistinguishbetweenfactsandvividfigmentsofhisimagination,hisimperturbablegoodnatureovercameeventhepeoplewhomheboredmost,sothattheyendedbybecoming,inareluctantmanner,hisfriends。

Inappearance,Mainhallwasastonishinglyliketheconventionalstage—EnglishmanofAmericandrama:tallandthin,withhigh,hitchingshouldersandasmallheadglisteningwithcloselybrushedyellowhair。HespokewithanextremeOxfordaccent,andwhenhewastalkingwell,hisfacesometimesworetheraptexpressionofaveryemotionalmanlisteningtomusic。MainhalllikedAlexanderbecausehewasanengineer。Hehadpreconceivedideasabouteverything,andhisideaaboutAmericanswasthattheyshouldbeengineersormechanics。Hehatedthemwhentheypresumedtobeanythingelse。

WhiletheysatatdinnerMainhallacquaintedBartleywiththefortunesofhisoldfriendsinLondon,andastheyleftthetableheproposedthattheyshouldgotoseeHughMacConnell’snewcomedy,\"BogLights。\"

\"It’sreallyquitethebestthingMacConnell’sdone,\"

heexplainedastheygotintoahansom。

\"It’stremendouslywellputon,too。

FlorenceMerrillandCyrilHenderson。

ButHildaBurgoyne’sthehitofthepiece。

Hugh’swrittenadelightfulpartforher,andshe’squiteinexpressible。It’sbeenononlytwoweeks,andI’vebeenhalfadozentimesalready。IhappentohaveMacConnell’sboxfortonightorthere’dbenochanceofourgettingplaces。There’severythinginseeingHildawhileshe’sfreshinapart。She’sapttogrowabitstaleafteratime。Theoneswhohaveanyimaginationdo。\"

\"HildaBurgoyne!\"Alexanderexclaimedmildly。

\"Why,Ihaven’theardofherfor——years。\"

Mainhalllaughed。\"Thenyoucan’thaveheardmuchatall,mydearAlexander。

It’sonlylately,sinceMacConnellandhissethavegotholdofher,thatshe’scomeup。

Myself,Ialwaysknewshehaditinher。

IfwehadonerealcriticinLondon——butwhatcanoneexpect?Doyouknow,Alexander,\"——

Mainhalllookedwithperplexityupintothetopofthehansomandrubbedhispinkcheekwithhisglovedfinger,——\"doyouknow,Isometimesthinkoftakingtocriticismseriouslymyself。

Inaway,itwouldbeasacrifice;

but,dearme,wedoneedsomeone。\"

JustthentheydroveuptotheDukeofYork’s,soAlexanderdidnotcommithimself,butfollowedMainhallintothetheatre。

Whentheyenteredthestage—boxontheleftthefirstactwaswellunderway,thescenebeingtheinteriorofacabininthesouthofIreland。

Astheysatdown,aburstofapplausedrewAlexander’sattentiontothestage。MissBurgoyneandherdonkeywerethrustingtheirheadsinatthehalfdoor。\"Afterall,\"

hereflected,\"there’ssmallprobabilityofherrecognizingme。Shedoubtlesshasn’tthoughtofmeforyears。\"Hefelttheenthusiasmofthehouseatonce,andinafewmomentshewascaughtupbythecurrentofMacConnell’sirresistiblecomedy。Theaudiencehadcomeforewarned,evidently,andwhenevertheraggedslipofadonkey—girlranuponthestagetherewasadeepmurmurofapprobation,everyonesmiledandglowed,andMainhallhitchedhisheavychairalittlenearerthebrassrailing。

\"Yousee,\"hemurmuredinAlexander’sear,asthecurtainfellonthefirstact,\"onealmostneverseesapartlikethatdonewithoutsmartnessormawkishness。Ofcourse,HildaisIrish,——theBurgoyneshavebeenstagepeopleforgenerations,——andshehastheIrishvoice。It’sdelightfultohearitinaLondontheatre。Thatlaugh,now,whenshedoublesoveratthehips——whoeverhearditoutofGalway?Shesavesherhand,too。

She’satherbestinthesecondact。She’sreallyMacConnell’spoeticmotif,yousee;

makesthewholethingafairytale。\"

ThesecondactopenedbeforePhillyDoyle’sundergroundstill,withPeggyandherbattereddonkeycomeintosmugglealoadofpotheenacrossthebog,andtobringPhillywordofwhatwasdoingintheworldwithout,andofwhatwashappeningalongtheroadsidesandditcheswiththefirstgleamoffineweather。Alexander,annoyedbyMainhall’ssighsandexclamations,watchedherwithkeen,half—skepticalinterest。AsMainhallhadsaid,shewasthesecondact;

theplotandfeelingalikedependeduponherlightnessoffoot,herlightnessoftouch,upontheshrewdnessanddeftfancifulnessthatplayedalternately,andsometimestogether,inhermirthfulbrowneyes。Whenshebegantodance,bywayofshowingthegossoonswhatshehadseeninthefairyringsatnight,thehousebrokeintoaprolongeduproar。

AfterherdanceshewithdrewfromthedialogueandretreatedtotheditchwallbackofPhilly’sburrow,whereshesatsinging\"TheRisingoftheMoon\"

andmakingawreathofprimrosesforherdonkey。

WhentheactwasoverAlexanderandMainhallstrolledoutintothecorridor。Theymetagoodmanyacquaintances;Mainhall,indeed,knewalmosteveryone,andhebabbledonincontinently,screwinghissmallheadaboutoverhishighcollar。

Presentlyhehailedatall,beardedman,grim—browedandratherbattered—looking,whohadhisoperacloakonhisarmandhishatinhishand,andwhoseemedtobeonthepointofleavingthetheatre。

\"MacConnell,letmeintroduceMr。BartleyAlexander。Isay!It’sgoingfamouslyto—night,Mac。Andwhatanaudience!

You’llneverdoanythinglikethisagain,markme。

Amanwritestothetopofhisbentonlyonce。\"

TheplaywrightgaveMainhallacuriouslookoutofhisdeep—setfadedeyesandmadeawryface。\"AndhaveIdoneanythingsofoolasthat,now?\"heasked。

\"That’swhatIwassaying,\"Mainhallloungedalittleneareranddroppedintoatoneevenmoreconspicuouslyconfidential。

\"Andyou’llneverbringHildaoutlikethisagain。Dearme,Mac,thegirlcouldn’tpossiblybebetter,youknow。\"

MacConnellgrunted。\"She’lldowellenoughifshekeepsherpaceanddoesn’tgooffonusinthemiddleoftheseason,asshe’smorethanliketodo。\"

Henoddedcurtlyandmadeforthedoor,dodgingacquaintancesashewent。

\"PooroldHugh,\"Mainhallmurmured。

\"He’shitterriblyhard。He’sbeenwantingtomarryHildathesethreeyearsandmore。

Shedoesn’ttakeupwithanybody,youknow。

IreneBurgoyne,oneofherfamily,toldmeinconfidencethattherewasaromancesomewherebackinthebeginning。Oneofyourcountrymen,Alexander,bytheway;anAmericanstudentwhomshemetinParis,Ibelieve。Idaresayit’squitetruethatthere’sneverbeenanyoneelse。\"

MainhallvouchedforherconstancywithaloftinessthatmadeAlexandersmile,evenwhileakindofrapidexcitementwastinglingthroughhim。

Blinkingupatthelights,Mainhalladdedinhisluxurious,worldlyway:\"She’sanelegantlittleperson,andquitecapableofanextravagantbitofsentimentlikethat。HerecomesSirHarryTowne。He’sanotherwho’sawfullykeenabouther。Letmeintroduceyou。

SirHarryTowne,Mr。BartleyAlexander,theAmericanengineer。\"

SirHarryTownebowedandsaidthathehadmetMr。AlexanderandhiswifeinTokyo。

Mainhallcutinimpatiently。

\"Isay,SirHarry,thelittlegirl’sgoingfamouslyto—night,isn’tshe?\"

SirHarrywrinkledhisbrowsjudiciously。

\"Doyouknow,Ithoughtthedanceabitconsciousto—night,forthefirsttime。Thefactis,she’sfeelingratherseedy,poorchild。

WestmereandIwerebackafterthefirstact,andwethoughtsheseemedquiteuncertainofherself。Alittleattackofnerves,possibly。\"

Hebowedasthewarningbellrang,andMainhallwhispered:\"YouknowLordWestmere,ofcourse,——thestoopedmanwiththelonggraymustache,talkingtoLadyDowle。

LadyWestmereisveryfondofHilda。\"

Whentheyreachedtheirboxthehousewasdarkenedandtheorchestrawasplaying\"TheCloakofOldGaul。\"InamomentPeggywasonthestageagain,andAlexanderapplaudedvigorouslywiththerest。Heevenleanedforwardovertherailalittle。Forsomereasonhefeltpleasedandflatteredbytheenthusiasmoftheaudience。Inthehalf—lighthelookedaboutatthestallsandboxesandsmiledalittleconsciously,recallingwithamusementSirHarry’sjudicialfrown。

Hewasbeginningtofeelakeeninterestintheslender,barefootdonkey—girlwhoslippedinandoutoftheplay,singing,likesomeonewindingthroughahillyfield。HeleanedforwardandbeamedfelicitationsaswarmlyasMainhallhimselfwhen,attheendoftheplay,shecameagainandagainbeforethecurtain,pantingalittleandflushed,hereyesdancingandhereager,nervouslittlemouthtremulouswithexcitement。

WhenAlexanderreturnedtohishotel——

heshookMainhallatthedoorofthetheatre——

hehadsomesupperbroughtuptohisroom,anditwaslatebeforehewenttobed。

HehadnotthoughtofHildaBurgoyneforyears;indeed,hehadalmostforgottenher。

HehadlastwrittentoherfromCanada,afterhefirstmetWinifred,tellingherthateverythingwaschangedwithhim——thathehadmetawomanwhomhewouldmarryifhecould;

ifhecouldnot,thenallthemorewaseverythingchangedforhim。Hildahadneverrepliedtohisletter。Hefeltguiltyandunhappyaboutherforatime,butafterWinifredpromisedtomarryhimhereallyforgotHildaaltogether。Whenhewroteherthateverythingwaschangedforhim,hewastellingthetruth。AfterhemetWinifredPembertonheseemedtohimselflikeadifferentman。

OnenightwhenheandWinifredweresittingtogetheronthebridge,hetoldherthatthingshadhappenedwhilehewasstudyingabroadthathewassorryfor,——onethinginparticular,——andheaskedherwhethershethoughtsheoughttoknowaboutthem。

Sheconsideredamomentandthensaid\"No,Ithinknot,thoughIamgladyouaskme。

Yousee,onecan’tbejealousaboutthingsingeneral;butaboutparticular,definite,personalthings,\"——hereshehadthrownherhandsuptohisshoulderswithaquick,impulsivegesture——\"oh,aboutthoseIshouldbeveryjealous。Ishouldtorturemyself——Icouldn’thelpit。\"Afterthatitwaseasytoforget,actuallytoforget。Hewonderedto—night,ashepouredhiswine,howmanytimeshehadthoughtofHildainthelasttenyears。

HehadbeeninLondonmoreorless,buthehadneverhappenedtohearofher。

\"Allthesame,\"heliftedhisglass,\"here’stoyou,littleHilda。You’vemadethingscomeyourway,andIneverthoughtyou’ddoit。

\"Ofcourse,\"hereflected,\"shealwayshadthatcombinationofsomethinghomelyandsensible,andsomethingutterlywildanddaft。

ButIneverthoughtshe’ddoanything。

Shehadn’tmuchambitionthen,andshewastoofondoftrifles。Shemustcareaboutthetheatreagreatdealmorethansheusedto。

Perhapsshehasmetothankforsomething,afterall。Sometimesalittlejoltlikethatdoesonegood。Shewasadaft,generouslittlething。I’mgladshe’sheldherownsince。

Afterall,wewereawfullyyoung。Itwasyouthandpovertyandproximity,andeverythingwasyoungandkindly。Ishouldn’twonderifshecouldlaughaboutitwithmenow。

Ishouldn’twonder——Butthey’veprobablyspoiledher,sothatshe’dbetiresomeifonemetheragain。\"

Bartleysmiledandyawnedandwenttobed。

CHAPTERIII

ThenexteveningAlexanderdinedaloneataclub,andataboutnineo’clockhedroppedinattheDukeofYork’s。Thehousewassoldoutandhestoodthroughthesecondact。

Whenhereturnedtohishotelheexaminedthenewdirectory,andfoundMissBurgoyne’saddressstillgivenasoffBedfordSquare,thoughatanewnumber。Herememberedthat,insofarasshehadbeenbroughtupatall,shehadbeenbroughtupinBloomsbury。

Herfatherandmotherplayedintheprovincesmostoftheyear,andshewasleftagreatdealinthecareofanoldauntwhowascrippledbyrheumatismandwhohadhadtoleavethestagealtogether。InthedayswhenAlexanderknewher,HildaalwaysmanagedtohavealodgingofsomesortaboutBedfordSquare,becausesheclungtenaciouslytosuchscrapsandshredsofmemoriesaswereconnectedwithit。ThemummyroomoftheBritishMuseumhadbeenoneofthechiefdelightsofherchildhood。Thatforbiddingpilewasthegoalofhertruantfancy,andshewassometimestakenthereforatreat,asotherchildrenaretakentothetheatre。ItwaslongsinceAlexanderhadthoughtofanyofthesethings,butnowtheycamebacktohimquitefresh,andhadasignificancetheydidnothavewhentheywerefirsttoldhiminhisrestlesstwenties。Soshewasstillintheoldneighborhood,nearBedfordSquare。

Thenewnumberprobablymeantincreasedprosperity。Hehopedso。Hewouldliketoknowthatshewassnuglysettled。Helookedathiswatch。Itwasaquarterpastten;shewouldnotbehomeforagoodtwohoursyet,andhemightaswellwalkoverandhavealookattheplace。Herememberedtheshortestway。

Itwasawarm,smokyevening,andtherewasagrimymoon。HewentthroughCoventGardentoOxfordStreet,andasheturnedintoMuseumStreethewalkedmoreslowly,smilingathisownnervousnessasheapproachedthesullengraymassattheend。

HehadnotbeeninsidetheMuseum,actually,sinceheandHildausedtomeetthere;

sometimestosetoutforgayadventuresatTwickenhamorRichmond,sometimestolingerabouttheplaceforawhileandtoponderbyLordElgin’smarblesuponthelastingnessofsomethings,or,inthemummyroom,upontheawfulbrevityofothers。SincethenBartleyhadalwaysthoughtoftheBritishMuseumastheultimaterepositoryofmortality,whereallthedeadthingsintheworldwereassembledtomakeone’shourofyouththemoreprecious。Onetrembledlestbeforehegotoutitmightsomehowescapehim,lesthemightdroptheglassfromover—eagernessandseeitshiveredonthestonefloorathisfeet。

Howonehidhisyouthunderhiscoatandhuggedit!Andhowgooditwastoturnone’sbackuponallthatvaultedcold,totakeHilda’sarmandhurryoutofthegreatdooranddownthestepsintothesunlightamongthepigeons——toknowthatthewarmandvitalthingwithinhimwasstillthereandhadnotbeensnatchedawaytoflushCaesar’sleancheekortofeedtheveinsofsomebeardedAssyrianking。Theyintheirdayhadcarriedtheflamingliquor,butto—daywashis!Sothesongusedtoruninhisheadthosesummermorningsadozenyearsago。Alexanderwalkedbytheplaceveryquietly,asifhewereafraidofwakingsomeone。

HecrossedBedfordSquareandfoundthenumberhewaslookingfor。Thehouse,acomfortable,well—keptplaceenough,wasdarkexceptforthefourfrontwindowsonthesecondfloor,wherealow,evenlightwasburningbehindthewhitemuslinsashcurtains。

Outsidetherewerewindowboxes,paintedwhiteandfullofflowers。BartleywasmakingathirdroundoftheSquarewhenheheardthefar—flunghoof—beatsofahansom—cabhorse,drivenrapidly。Helookedathiswatch,andwasastonishedtofindthatitwasafewminutesaftertwelve。HeturnedandwalkedbackalongtheironrailingasthecabcameuptoHilda’snumberandstopped。

Thehansommusthavebeenonethatsheemployedregularly,forshedidnotstoptopaythedriver。

Shesteppedoutquicklyandlightly。

Heheardhercheerful\"Good—night,cabby,\"

assheranupthestepsandopenedthedoorwithalatchkey。Inafewmomentsthelightsflaredupbrightlybehindthewhitecurtains,andashewalkedawayheheardawindowraised。Buthehadgonetoofartolookupwithoutturninground。Hewentbacktohishotel,feelingthathehadhadagoodevening,andhesleptwell。

ForthenextfewdaysAlexanderwasverybusy。

HetookadeskintheofficeofaScotchengineeringfirmonHenriettaStreet,andwasatworkalmostconstantly。

Heavoidedtheclubsandusuallydinedaloneathishotel。Oneafternoon,afterhehadtea,hestartedforawalkdowntheEmbankmenttowardWestminster,intendingtoendhisstrollatBedfordSquareandtoaskwhetherMissBurgoynewouldlethimtakehertothetheatre。Buthedidnotgosofar。WhenhereachedtheAbbey,heturnedbackandcrossedWestminsterBridgeandsatdowntowatchthetrailsofsmokebehindtheHousesofParliamentcatchfirewiththesunset。

Theslendertowerswerewashedbyarainofgoldenlightandlickedbylittleflickeringflames;SomersetHouseandthebleachedgraypinnaclesaboutWhitehallwerefloatedinaluminoushaze。Theyellowlightpouredthroughthetreesandtheleavesseemedtoburnwithsoftfires。Therewasasmellofacaciasintheaireverywhere,andthelaburnumsweredrippinggoldoverthewallsofthegardens。Itwasasweet,lonelykindofsummerevening。RememberingHildaassheusedtobe,wasdoubtlessmoresatisfactorythanseeingherasshemustbenow——and,afterall,Alexanderaskedhimself,whatwasitbuthisownyoungyearsthathewasremembering?

HecrossedbacktoWestminster,wentuptotheTemple,andsatdowntosmokeintheMiddleTemplegardens,listeningtothethinvoiceofthefountainandsmellingthespiceofthesycamoresthatcameoutheavilyinthedampeveningair。Hethought,ashesatthere,aboutagreatmanythings:abouthisownyouthandHilda’s;aboveall,hethoughtofhowgloriousithadbeen,andhowquicklyithadpassed;and,whenithadpassed,howlittleworthwhileanythingwas。

Noneofthethingshehadgainedintheleastcompensated。Inthelastsixyearshisreputationhadbecome,asthesayingis,popular。

FouryearsagohehadbeencalledtoJapantodeliver,attheEmperor’srequest,acourseoflecturesattheImperialUniversity,andhadinstitutedreformsthroughouttheislands,notonlyinthepracticeofbridge—buildingbutindrainageandroad—making。OnhisreturnhehadundertakenthebridgeatMoorlock,inCanada,themostimportantpieceofbridge—

buildinggoingonintheworld,——atest,indeed,ofhowfarthelatestpracticeinbridgestructurecouldbecarried。Itwasaspectacularundertakingbyreasonofitsverysize,andBartleyrealizedthat,whateverelsehemightdo,hewouldprobablyalwaysbeknownastheengineerwhodesignedthegreatMoorlockBridge,thelongestcantileverinexistence。

Yetitwastohimtheleastsatisfactorythinghehadeverdone。Hewascrampedineverywaybyaniggardlycommission,andwasusinglighterstructuralmaterialthanhethoughtproper。Hehadvexationsenough,too,withhisworkathome。HehadseveralbridgesunderwayintheUnitedStates,andtheywerealwaysbeingheldupbystrikesanddelaysresultingfromageneralindustrialunrest。

ThoughAlexanderoftentoldhimselfhehadneverputmoreintohisworkthanhehaddoneinthelastfewyears,hehadtoadmitthathehadnevergotsolittleoutofit。

Hewaspayingforsuccess,too,inthedemandsmadeonhistimebyboardsofcivicenterpriseandcommitteesofpublicwelfare。Theobligationsimposedbyhiswife’sfortuneandpositionweresometimesdistractingtoamanwhofollowedhisprofession,andhewasexpectedtobeinterestedinagreatmanyworthyendeavorsonheraccountaswellasonhisown。Hisexistencewasbecominganetworkofgreatandlittledetails。Hehadexpectedthatsuccesswouldbringhimfreedomandpower;butithadbroughtonlypowerthatwasinitselfanotherkindofrestraint。Hehadalwaysmeanttokeephispersonallibertyatallcosts,asoldMacKeller,hisfirstchief,haddone,andnot,likesomanyAmericanengineers,tobecomeapartofaprofessionalmovement,acautiousboardmember,aNestordepontibus。Hehappenedtobeengagedinworkofpublicutility,buthewasnotwillingtobecomewhatiscalledapublicman。Hefoundhimselflivingexactlythekindoflifehehaddeterminedtoescape。

What,heaskedhimself,didhewantwiththesegenialhonorsandsubstantialcomforts?

Hardshipsanddifficultieshehadcarriedlightly;overworkhadnotexhaustedhim;butthisdeadcalmofmiddlelifewhichconfrontedhim,——

ofthathewasafraid。Hewasnotreadyforit。

Itwaslikebeingburiedalive。Inhisyouthhewouldnothavebelievedsuchathingpossible。

Theonethinghehadreallywantedallhislifewastobefree;andtherewasstillsomethingunconqueredinhim,somethingbesidesthestrongwork—horsethathisprofessionhadmadeofhim。

Hefeltrichto—nightinthepossessionofthatunstultifiedsurvival;inthelightofhisexperience,itwasmorepreciousthanhonorsorachievement。Inallthosebusy,successfulyearstherehadbeennothingsogoodasthishourofwildlight—heartedness。Thisfeelingwastheonlyhappinessthatwasrealtohim,andsuchhoursweretheonlyonesinwhichhecouldfeelhisowncontinuousidentity——

feeltheboyhehadbeenintheroughdaysoftheoldWest,feeltheyouthwhohadworkedhiswayacrosstheoceanonacattle—shipandgonetostudyinPariswithoutadollarinhispocket。ThemanwhosatinhisofficesinBostonwasonlyapowerfulmachine。Undertheactivitiesofthatmachinethepersonwho,insuchmomentsasthis,hefelttobehimself,wasfadinganddying。Herememberedhow,whenhewasalittleboyandhisfathercalledhiminthemorning,heusedtoleapfromhisbedintothefullconsciousnessofhimself。ThatconsciousnesswasLifeitself。

Whatevertookitsplace,action,reflection,thepowerofconcentratedthought,wereonlyfunctionsofamechanismusefultosociety;

thingsthatcouldbeboughtinthemarket。

Therewasonlyonethingthathadanabsolutevalueforeachindividual,anditwasjustthatoriginalimpulse,thatinternalheat,thatfeelingofone’sselfinone’sownbreast。

WhenAlexanderwalkedbacktohishotel,theredandgreenlightswereblinkingalongthedocksonthefarthershore,andthesoftwhitestarswereshininginthewideskyabovetheriver。

Thenextnight,andthenext,Alexanderrepeatedthissamefoolishperformance。

ItwasalwaysMissBurgoynewhomhestartedouttofind,andhegotnofartherthantheTemplegardensandtheEmbankment。Itwasapleasantkindofloneliness。Toamanwhowassolittlegiventoreflection,whosedreamsalwaystooktheformofdefiniteideas,reachingintothefuture,therewasaseductiveexcitementinrenewingoldexperiencesinimagination。Hestartedoutuponthesewalkshalfguiltily,withacuriouslongingandexpectancywhichwerewhollygratifiedbysolitude。Solitude,butnotsolitariness;

forhewalkedshouldertoshoulderwithashadowycompanion——notlittleHildaBurgoyne,byanymeans,butsomeonevastlydearertohimthanshehadeverbeen——hisownyoungself,theyouthwhohadwaitedforhimuponthestepsoftheBritishMuseumthatnight,andwho,thoughhehadtriedtopasssoquietly,hadknownhimandcomedownandlinkedanarminhis。

ItwasnotuntillongafterwardthatAlexanderlearnedthatforhimthisyouthwasthemostdangerousofcompanions。

OneSundayevening,atLadyWalford’s,AlexanderdidatlastmeetHildaBurgoyne。

Mainhallhadtoldhimthatshewouldprobablybethere。Helookedaboutforherrathernervously,andfinallyfoundheratthefartherendofthelargedrawing—room,thecentreofacircleofmen,youngandold。Shewasapparentlytellingthemastory。Theywerealllaughingandbendingtowardher。WhenshesawAlexander,sherosequicklyandputoutherhand。Theothermendrewbackalittletolethimapproach。

\"Mr。Alexander!Iamdelighted。HaveyoubeeninLondonlong?\"

Bartleybowed,somewhatlaboriously,overherhand。\"Longenoughtohaveseenyoumorethanonce。Howfineitallis!\"

Shelaughedasifshewerepleased。\"I’mgladyouthinkso。Ilikeit。Won’tyoujoinushere?\"

\"MissBurgoynewasjusttellingusaboutadonkey—boyshehadinGalwaylastsummer,\"

SirHarryTowneexplainedasthecircleclosedupagain。LordWestmerestrokedhislongwhitemustachewithhisbloodlesshandandlookedatAlexanderblankly。

Hildawasagoodstory—teller。Shewassittingontheedgeofherchair,asifshehadalightedthereforamomentonly。

Herprimrosesatingownseemedlikeasoftsheathforherslender,supplefigure,anditsdelicatecolorsuitedherwhiteIrishskinandbrownhair。Whatevershewore,peoplefeltthecharmofheractive,girlishbodywithitsslenderhipsandquick,eagershoulders。

Alexanderheardlittleofthestory,buthewatchedHildaintently。Shemustcertainly,hereflected,bethirty,andhewashonestlydelightedtoseethattheyearshadtreatedhersoindulgently。Ifherfacehadchangedatall,itwasinaslighthardeningofthemouth——

stilleagerenoughtobeverydisconcertingattimes,hefelt——andinanaddedairofself—

possessionandself—reliance。Shecarriedherhead,too,alittlemoreresolutely。

Whenthestorywasfinished,MissBurgoyneturnedpointedlytoAlexander,andtheothermendriftedaway。