Shecreptacrosstohim,drawingherstoolafterher。\"Whendidyoufirstbegintofeellikethis,Bartley?\"
\"Aftertheveryfirst。Thefirstwas——
sortofinplay,wasn’tit?\"
Hilda’sfacequivered,butshewhispered:
\"Yes,Ithinkitmusthavebeen。Butwhydidn’tyoutellmewhenyouwerehereinthesummer?\"
Alexandergroaned。\"Imeantto,butsomehowIcouldn’t。Wehadonlyafewdays,andyournewplaywasjuston,andyouweresohappy。\"
\"Yes,Iwashappy,wasn’tI?\"Shepressedhishandgentlyingratitude。
\"Weren’tyouhappythen,atall?\"
Sheclosedhereyesandtookadeepbreath,asiftodrawinagainthefragranceofthosedays。SomethingoftheirtroublingsweetnesscamebacktoAlexander,too。
Hemoveduneasilyandhischaircreaked。
\"Yes,Iwasthen。Youknow。Butafterward……\"
\"Yes,yes,\"shehurried,pullingherhandgentlyawayfromhim。Presentlyitstolebacktohiscoatsleeve。
\"Pleasetellmeonething,Bartley。Atleast,tellmethatyoubelieveIthoughtIwasmakingyouhappy。\"
Hishandshutdownquicklyoverthequestioningfingersonhissleeves。
\"Yes,Hilda;Iknowthat,\"hesaidsimply。
Sheleanedherheadagainsthisarmandspokesoftly:——
\"Yousee,mymistakewasinwantingyoutohaveeverything。Iwantedyoutoeatallthecakesandhavethem,too。IsomehowbelievedthatIcouldtakeallthebadconsequencesforyou。Iwantedyoualwaystobehappyandhandsomeandsuccessful——tohaveallthethingsthatagreatmanoughttohave,and,onceinaway,thecarelessholidaysthatgreatmenarenotpermitted。\"
Bartleygaveabitterlittlelaugh,andHildalookedupandreadinthedeepeninglinesofhisfacethatyouthandBartleywouldnotmuchlongerstruggletogether。
\"Iunderstand,Bartley。Iwaswrong。ButI
didn’tknow。You’veonlytotellmenow。
WhatmustIdothatI’venotdone,orwhatmustInotdo?\"Shelistenedintently,butsheheardnothingbutthecreakingofhischair。
\"Youwantmetosayit?\"shewhispered。
\"Youwanttotellmethatyoucanonlyseemelikethis,asoldfriendsdo,oroutintheworldamongpeople?Icandothat。\"
\"Ican’t,\"hesaidheavily。
Hildashiveredandsatstill。Bartleyleanedhisheadinhishandsandspokethroughhisteeth。
\"It’sgottobeacleanbreak,Hilda。
Ican’tseeyouatall,anywhere。
WhatImeanisthatIwantyoutopromisenevertoseemeagain,nomatterhowoftenIcome,nomatterhowhardIbeg。\"
Hildaspranguplikeaflame。Shestoodoverhimwithherhandsclenchedatherside,herbodyrigid。
\"No!\"shegasped。\"It’stoolatetoaskthat。
Doyouhearme,Bartley?It’stoolate。
Iwon’tpromise。It’sabominableofyoutoaskme。
Keepawayifyouwish;whenhaveIeverfollowedyou?
But,ifyoucometome,I’lldoasIseefit。
Theshamefulnessofyouraskingmetodothat!
Ifyoucometome,I’lldoasIseefit。
Doyouunderstand?Bartley,you’recowardly!\"
Alexanderroseandshookhimselfangrily。
\"Yes,IknowI’mcowardly。I’mafraidofmyself。
Idon’ttrustmyselfanymore。Icarrieditalllightlyenoughatfirst,butnowIdon’tdaretriflewithit。
It’sgettingthebetterofme。It’sdifferentnow。
I’mgrowingolder,andyou’vegotmyyoungselfherewithyou。
It’sthroughhimthatI’vecometowishforyouallandallthetime。\"Hetookherroughlyinhisarms。
\"DoyouknowwhatImean?\"
Hildaheldherfacebackfromhimandbegantocrybitterly。\"Oh,Bartley,whatamItodo?
Whydidn’tyouletmebeangrywithyou?
Youaskmetostayawayfromyoubecauseyouwantme!AndI’vegotnobodybutyou。
Iwilldoanythingyousay——butthat!
Iwillasktheleastimaginable,butImusthaveSOMETHING!\"
Bartleyturnedawayandsankdowninhischairagain。
Hildasatonthearmofitandputherhandslightlyonhisshoulders。
\"JustsomethingBartley。Imusthaveyoutothinkofthroughthemonthsandmonthsofloneliness。
Imustseeyou。Imustknowaboutyou。
Thesightofyou,Bartley,toseeyoulivingandhappyandsuccessful——canInevermakeyouunderstandwhatthatmeanstome?\"
Shepressedhisshouldersgently。
\"Yousee,lovingsomeoneasIloveyoumakesthewholeworlddifferent。
IfI’dmetyoulater,ifIhadn’tlovedyousowell——
butthat’sallover,longago。Thencameallthoseyearswithoutyou,lonelyandhurtanddiscouraged;thosedecentyoungfellowsandpoorMac,andmeneverheeding——hardasasteelspring。Andthenyoucameback,notcaringverymuch,butitmadenodifference。\"
Sheslidtothefloorbesidehim,asifsheweretootiredtositupanylonger。Bartleybentoverandtookherinhisarms,kissinghermouthandherwet,tiredeyes。
\"Don’tcry,don’tcry,\"hewhispered。
\"We’vetorturedeachotherenoughfortonight。
ForgeteverythingexceptthatIamhere。\"
\"IthinkIhaveforgotteneverythingbutthatalready,\"shemurmured。\"Ah,yourdeararms!\"
CHAPTERVII
DuringthefortnightthatAlexanderwasinLondonhedrovehimselfhard。Hegotthroughagreatdealofpersonalbusinessandsawagreatmanymenwhoweredoinginterestingthingsinhisownprofession。
HedislikedtothinkofhisvisitstoLondonasholidays,andwhenhewasthereheworkedevenharderthanhedidathome。
ThedaybeforehisdepartureforLiverpoolwasasingularlyfineone。Thethickairhadclearedovernightinastrongwindwhichbroughtinagoldendawnandthenfellofftoafreshbreeze。WhenBartleylookedoutofhiswindowsfromtheSavoy,theriverwasflashingsilverandthegraystonealongtheEmbankmentwasbathedinbright,clearsunshine。
Londonhadwakenedtolifeafterthreeweeksofcoldandsoddenrain。Bartleybreakfastedhurriedlyandwentoverhismailwhilethehotelvaletpackedhistrunks。ThenhepaidhisaccountandwalkedrapidlydowntheStrandpastCharingCrossStation。Hisspiritsrosewitheverystep,andwhenhereachedTrafalgarSquare,blazinginthesun,withitsfountainsplayinganditscolumnreachingupintothebrightair,hesignaledtoahansom,and,beforeheknewwhathewasabout,toldthedrivertogotoBedfordSquarebywayoftheBritishMuseum。
WhenhereachedHilda’sapartmentshemethim,freshasthemorningitself。
Herroomswerefloodedwithsunshineandfulloftheflowershehadbeensendingher。
Shewouldneverlethimgiveheranythingelse。
\"Areyoubusythismorning,Hilda?\"heaskedashesatdown,hishatandglovesinhishand。
\"Very。I’vebeenupandaboutthreehours,workingatmypart。WeopeninFebruary,youknow。\"
\"Well,thenyou’veworkedenough。AndsohaveI。I’veseenallmymen,mypackingisdone,andIgouptoLiverpoolthisevening。
Butthismorningwearegoingtohaveaholiday。WhatdoyousaytoadriveouttoKewandRichmond?Youmaynotgetanotherdaylikethisallwinter。It’slikeafineAprildayathome。MayIuseyourtelephone?
Iwanttoorderthecarriage。\"
\"Oh,howjolly!There,sitdownatthedesk。
AndwhileyouaretelephoningI’llchangemydress。
Ishan’tbelong。Allthemorningpapersareonthetable。\"
Hildawasbackinafewmomentswearingalonggraysquirrelcoatandabroadfurhat。
Bartleyroseandinspectedher。\"Whydon’tyouwearsomeofthosepinkroses?\"heasked。
\"Buttheycameonlythismorning,andtheyhavenotevenbeguntoopen。
Iwassavingthem。Iamsounconsciouslythrifty!\"
Shelaughedasshelookedabouttheroom。
\"You’vebeensendingmefartoomanyflowers,Bartley。Newoneseveryday。That’stoooften;
thoughIdolovetoopentheboxes,andItakegoodcareofthem。\"
\"Whywon’tyouletmesendyouanyofthosejadeorivorythingsyouaresofondof?Orpictures?
Iknowagooddealaboutpictures。\"
Hildashookherlargehatasshedrewtherosesoutofthetallglass。\"No,therearesomethingsyoucan’tdo。There’sthecarriage。
Willyoubuttonmyglovesforme?\"
Bartleytookherwristandbegantobuttonthelonggraysuedeglove。
\"Howgayyoureyesarethismorning,Hilda。\"
\"That’sbecauseI’vebeenstudying。
Italwaysstirsmeupalittle。\"
Hepushedthetopofthegloveupslowly。
\"Whendidyoulearntotakeholdofyourpartslikethat?\"
\"WhenIhadnothingelsetothinkof。
Come,thecarriageiswaiting。
Whatashockingwhileyoutake。\"
\"I’minnohurry。We’veplentyoftime。\"
TheyfoundallLondonabroad。Piccadillywasastreamofrapidlymovingcarriages,fromwhichflashedfursandflowersandbrightwintercostumes。Themetaltrappingsoftheharnessesshonedazzlingly,andthewheelswererevolvingdisksthatthrewoffraysoflight。Theparkswerefullofchildrenandnursemaidsandjoyfuldogsthatleapedandyelpedandscratchedupthebrownearthwiththeirpaws。
\"I’mnotgoinguntilto—morrow,youknow,\"
Bartleyannouncedsuddenly。\"I’llcutoffadayinLiverpool。Ihaven’tfeltsojollythislongwhile。\"
Hildalookedupwithasmilewhichshetriednottomaketooglad。\"Ithinkpeopleweremeanttobehappy,alittle,\"shesaid。
TheyhadlunchatRichmondandthenwalkedtoTwickenham,wheretheyhadsentthecarriage。
Theydroveback,withaglorioussunsetbehindthem,towardthedistantgold—washedcity。
ItwasoneofthoserareafternoonswhenallthethicknessandshadowofLondonarechangedtoakindofshining,pulsing,specialatmosphere;whenthesmokyvaporsbecomeflutteringgoldenclouds,nacreousveilsofpinkandamber;whenallthatbleaknessofgraystoneanddullnessofdirtybricktremblesinaureatelight,andalltheroofsandspires,andonegreatdome,arefloatedingoldenhaze。Onsuchrareafternoonstheugliestofcitiesbecomesthemostpoetic,andmonthsofsoddendaysareoffsetbyamomentofmiracle。
\"It’slikethatwithusLondoners,too,\"
Hildawassaying。\"Everythingisawfullygrimandcheerless,ourweatherandourhousesandourwaysofamusingourselves。
Butwecanbehappierthananybody。
Wecangomadwithjoy,asthepeopledooutinthefieldsonafineWhitsunday。
Wemakethemostofourmoment。\"
Shethrustherlittlechinoutdefiantlyoverhergrayfurcollar,andBartleylookeddownatherandlaughed。
\"Youareapluckyone,you。\"Hepattedherglovewithhishand。\"Yes,youareapluckyone。\"
Hildasighed。\"No,I’mnot。Notaboutsomethings,atanyrate。Itdoesn’ttakeplucktofightforone’smoment,butittakesplucktogowithout——alot。MorethanIhave。
Ican’thelpit,\"sheaddedfiercely。
Aftermilesofoutlyingstreetsandlittlegloomyhouses,theyreachedLondonitself,redandroaringandmurky,withathickdampnesscomingupfromtheriver,thatbetokenedfogagainto—morrow。Thestreetswerefullofpeoplewhohadworkedindoorsallthroughthepricelessdayandhadnowcomehungrilyouttodrinkthemuddyleesofit。Theystoodinlongblacklines,waitingbeforethepitentrancesofthetheatres——
short—coatedboys,andgirlsinsailorhats,allshiveringandchattinggayly。Therewasablurredrhythminallthedullcitynoises——
intheclatterofthecabhorsesandtherumblingofthebusses,inthestreetcalls,andintheundulatingtramp,trampofthecrowd。Itwaslikethedeepvibrationofsomevastundergroundmachinery,andlikethemuffledpulsationsofmillionsofhumanhearts。
[See\"TheBarrelOrganbyAlfredNoyes。Ed。]
[Ihaveplaceditattheendforyourconvenience]
\"Seemsgoodtogetback,doesn’tit?\"
Bartleywhispered,astheydrovefromBayswaterRoadintoOxfordStreet。
\"Londonalwaysmakesmewanttolivemorethananyothercityintheworld。Yourememberourpriestessmummyoverinthemummy—room,andhowweusedtolongtogoandbringheroutonnightslikethis?Threethousandyears!Ugh!\"
\"Allthesame,Ibelievesheusedtofeelitwhenwestoodthereandwatchedherandwishedherwell。Ibelievesheusedtoremember,\"
Hildasaidthoughtfully。
\"Ihopeso。Nowlet’sgotosomeawfullyjollyplacefordinnerbeforewegohome。
IcouldeatallthedinnersthereareinLondonto—night。WhereshallItellthedriver?
ThePiccadillyRestaurant?Themusic’sgoodthere。\"
\"Therearetoomanypeopletherewhomoneknows。WhynotthatlittleFrenchplaceinSoho,wherewewentsooftenwhenyouwerehereinthesummer?Iloveit,andI’veneverbeentherewithanyonebutyou。
SometimesIgobymyself,whenIamparticularlylonely。\"
\"Verywell,thesole’sgoodthere。
Howmanystreetpianosthereareaboutto—night!
Thefineweathermusthavethawedthemout。
We’vehadfivemilesof`IlTrovatore’now。
Theyalwaysmakemefeeljaunty。
Areyoucomfy,andnottootired?\"
I’mnottiredatall。Iwasjustwonderinghowpeoplecaneverdie。Whydidyouremindmeofthemummy?Lifeseemsthestrongestandmostindestructiblethingintheworld。Doyoureallybelievethatallthosepeoplerushingaboutdownthere,goingtogooddinnersandclubsandtheatres,willbedeadsomeday,andnotcareaboutanything?
Idon’tbelieveit,andIknowIshan’tdie,ever!Yousee,Ifeeltoo——toopowerful!\"
Thecarriagestopped。Bartleysprangoutandswungherquicklytothepavement。
Asheliftedherinhistwohandshewhispered:
\"Youare——powerful!\"
CHAPTERVIII
Thelastrehearsalwasover,atediousdressrehearsalwhichhadlastedalldayandexhaustedthepatienceofeveryonewhohadtodowithit。
WhenHildahaddressedforthestreetandcameoutofherdressing—room,shefoundHughMacConnellwaitingforherinthecorridor。
\"Thefog’sthickerthanever,Hilda。
Therehavebeenagreatmanyaccidentsto—day。
It’spositivelyunsafeforyoutobeoutalone。
Willyouletmetakeyouhome?\"
\"Howgoodofyou,Mac。Ifyouaregoingwithme,IthinkI’dratherwalk。I’vehadnoexerciseto—day,andallthishasmademenervous。\"
\"Ishouldn’twonder,\"saidMacConnelldryly。
HildapulleddownherveilandtheysteppedoutintothethickbrownwashthatsubmergedSt。Martin’sLane。MacConnelltookherhandandtuckeditsnuglyunderhisarm。
\"I’msorryIwassuchasavage。Ihopeyoudidn’tthinkImadeanassofmyself。\"
\"Notabitofit。Idon’twonderyouwerepeppery。Thosethingsareawfullytrying。
Howdoyouthinkit’sgoing?\"
\"Magnificently。That’swhyIgotsostirredup。
Wearegoingtohearfromthis,bothofus。
Andthatremindsme;I’vegotnewsforyou。
TheyaregoingtobeginrepairsonthetheatreaboutthemiddleofMarch,andwearetorunovertoNewYorkforsixweeks。
Bennetttoldmeyesterdaythatitwasdecided。\"
Hildalookedupdelightedlyatthetallgrayfigurebesideher。Hewastheonlythingshecouldsee,fortheyweremovingthroughadenseopaqueness,asiftheywerewalkingatthebottomoftheocean。
\"Oh,Mac,howgladIam!Andtheyloveyourthingsoverthere,don’tthey?\"
\"Shallyoubegladfor——anyotherreason,Hilda?\"
MacConnellputhishandinfrontofhertowardoffsomedarkobject。Itprovedtobeonlyalamp—post,andtheybeatinfartherfromtheedgeofthepavement。
\"Whatdoyoumean,Mac?\"Hildaaskednervously。
\"Iwasjustthinkingtheremightbepeopleoverthereyou’dbegladtosee,\"hebroughtoutawkwardly。Hildasaidnothing,andastheywalkedonMacConnellspokeagain,apologetically:\"Ihopeyoudon’tmindmyknowingaboutit,Hilda。Don’tstiffenuplikethat。Nooneelseknows,andIdidn’ttrytofindoutanything。Ifeltit,evenbeforeIknewwhohewas。Iknewtherewassomebody,andthatitwasn’tI。\"
TheycrossedOxfordStreetinsilence,feelingtheirway。Thebusseshadstoppedrunningandthecab—driverswereleadingtheirhorses。Whentheyreachedtheotherside,MacConnellsaidsuddenly,\"Ihopeyouarehappy。\"
\"Terribly,dangerouslyhappy,Mac,\"——
Hildaspokequietly,pressingtheroughsleeveofhisgreatcoatwithherglovedhand。
\"You’vealwaysthoughtmetoooldforyou,Hilda,——oh,ofcourseyou’veneversaidjustthat,——andherethisfellowisnotmorethaneightyearsyoungerthanI。I’vealwaysfeltthatifIcouldgetoutofmyoldcaseI
mightwinyouyet。It’safine,braveyouthIcarryinsideme,onlyhe’llneverbeseen。\"
\"Nonsense,Mac。Thathasnothingtodowithit。
It’sbecauseyouseemtooclosetome,toomuchmyownkind。ItwouldbelikemarryingCousinMike,almost。Ireallytriedtocareasyouwantedmeto,awaybackinthebeginning。\"
\"Well,hereweare,turningoutoftheSquare。
Youarenotangrywithme,Hilda?Thankyouforthiswalk,mydear。Goinandgetdrythingsonatonce。You’llbehavingagreatnightto—morrow。\"
Sheputoutherhand。\"Thankyou,Mac,foreverything。Good—night。\"
MacConnelltrudgedoffthroughthefog,andshewentslowlyupstairs。Herslippersanddressinggownwerewaitingforherbeforethefire。\"IshallcertainlyseehiminNewYork。Hewillseebythepapersthatwearecoming。Perhapsheknowsitalready,\"
Hildakeptthinkingassheundressed。
\"Perhapshewillbeatthedock。No,scarcelythat;butImaymeethiminthestreetevenbeforehecomestoseeme。\"Marieplacedthetea—tablebythefireandbroughtHildaherletters。
Shelookedthemover,andstartedasshecametooneinahandwritingthatshedidnotoftensee;
Alexanderhadwrittentoheronlytwicebefore,andhedidnotallowhertowritetohimatall。
\"Thankyou,Marie。Youmaygonow。\"
Hildasatdownbythetablewiththeletterinherhand,stillunopened。Shelookedatitintently,turneditover,andfeltitsthicknesswithherfingers。Shebelievedthatshesometimeshadakindofsecond—sightaboutletters,andcouldtellbeforeshereadthemwhethertheybroughtgoodoreviltidings。
Sheputthisonedownonthetableinfrontofherwhileshepouredhertea。Atlast,withalittleshiverofexpectancy,shetoreopentheenvelopeandread:——
Boston,February——
MYDEARHILDA:——
Itisaftertwelveo’clock。EveryoneelseisinbedandIamsittingaloneinmystudy。
Ihavebeenhappierinthisroomthananywhereelseintheworld。Happinesslikethatmakesoneinsolent。Iusedtothinkthesefourwallscouldstandagainstanything。AndnowI
scarcelyknowmyselfhere。NowIknowthatnoonecanbuildhissecurityuponthenoblenessofanotherperson。Twopeople,whentheyloveeachother,growalikeintheirtastesandhabitsandpride,buttheirmoralnatures(whateverwemaymeanbythatcantingexpression)areneverwelded。Thebaseonegoesonbeingbase,andthenobleonenoble,totheend。
Thelastweekhasbeenabadone;Ihavebeenrealizinghowthingsusedtobewithme。
SometimesIgetusedtobeingdeadinside,butlatelyithasbeenasifawindowbesidemehadsuddenlyopened,andasifallthesmellsofspringblewintome。Thereisagardenoutthere,withstarsoverhead,whereIusedtowalkatnightwhenIhadasinglepurposeandasingleheart。IcanrememberhowIusedtofeelthere,howbeautifuleverythingaboutmewas,andwhatlifeandpowerandfreedomIfeltinmyself。WhenthewindowopensIknowexactlyhowitwouldfeeltobeoutthere。Butthatgardenisclosedtome。Howisit,Iaskmyself,thateverythingcanbesodifferentwithmewhennothingherehaschanged?Iaminmyownhouse,inmyownstudy,inthemidstofallthesequietstreetswheremyfriendslive。
Theyareallsafeandatpeacewiththemselves。
ButIamneveratpeace。Ifeelalwaysontheedgeofdangerandchange。
IkeeprememberinglocoedhorsesIusedtoseeontherangewhenIwasaboy。
Theychangedlikethat。Weusedtocatchthemandputthemupinthecorral,andtheydevelopedgreatcunning。Theywouldpretendtoeattheiroatsliketheotherhorses,butweknewtheywerealwaysschemingtogetbackattheloco。
Itseemsthatamanismeanttoliveonlyonelifeinthisworld。Whenhetriestoliveasecond,hedevelopsanothernature。Ifeelasifasecondmanhadbeengraftedintome。
Atfirstheseemedonlyapleasure—lovingsimpleton,ofwhosecompanyIwasratherashamed,andwhomIusedtohideundermycoatwhenIwalkedtheEmbankment,inLondon。
Butnowheisstrongandsullen,andheisfightingforhislifeatthecostofmine。
Thatishisoneactivity:togrowstrong。
Nocreatureeverwantedsomuchtolive。
Eventually,Isuppose,hewillabsorbmealtogether。
Believeme,youwillhatemethen。
Andwhathaveyoutodo,Hilda,withthisuglystory?Nothingatall。Thelittleboydrankoftheprettiestbrookintheforestandhebecameastag。IwriteallthisbecauseI
cannevertellittoyou,andbecauseitseemsasifIcouldnotkeepsilentanylonger。AndbecauseIsuffer,Hilda。IfanyoneIlovedsufferedlikethis,I’dwanttoknowit。Helpme,Hilda!
B。A。
CHAPTERIX
OnthelastSaturdayinApril,theNewYork\"Times\"
publishedanaccountofthestrikecomplicationswhichweredelayingAlexander’sNewJerseybridge,andstatedthattheengineerhimselfwasintownandathisofficeonWestTenthStreet。
OnSunday,thedayafterthisnoticeappeared,AlexanderworkedalldayathisTenthStreetrooms。
HisbusinessoftencalledhimtoNewYork,andhehadkeptanapartmentthereforyears,sublettingitwhenhewentabroadforanylengthoftime。
Besideshissleeping—roomandbath,therewasalargeroom,formerlyapainter’sstudio,whichheusedasastudyandoffice。Itwasfurnishedwiththecast—offpossessionsofhisbachelordaysandwithoddthingswhichheshelteredforfriendsofhiswhofolloweditinerantandmoreorlessartisticcallings。Overthefireplacetherewasalargeold—fashionedgiltmirror。
Alexander’sbigwork—tablestoodinfrontofoneofthethreewindows,andabovethecouchhungtheonepictureintheroom,abigcanvasofcharmingcolorandspirit,astudyoftheLuxembourgGardensinearlyspring,paintedinhisyouthbyamanwhohadsincebecomeaportrait—painterofinternationalrenown。HehaddoneitforAlexanderwhentheywerestudentstogetherinParis。
Sundaywasacold,rawdayandafinerainfellcontinuously。WhenAlexandercamebackfromdinnerheputmorewoodonhisfire,madehimselfcomfortable,andsettleddownathisdesk,wherehebegancheckingoverestimatesheets。Itwasafternineo’clockandhewaslightingasecondpipe,whenhethoughtheheardasoundathisdoor。Hestartedandlistened,holdingtheburningmatchinhishand;againheheardthesamesound,likeafirm,lighttap。Heroseandcrossedtheroomquickly。Whenhethrewopenthedoorherecognizedthefigurethatshrankbackintothebare,dimlylithallway。
Hestoodforamomentinawkwardconstraint,hispipeinhishand。
\"Comein,\"hesaidtoHildaatlast,andclosedthedoorbehindher。Hepointedtoachairbythefireandwentbacktohisworktable。
\"Won’tyousitdown?\"
Hewasstandingbehindthetable,turningoverapileofblueprintsnervously。
Theyellowlightfromthestudent’slampfellonhishandsandthepurplesleevesofhisvelvetsmoking—jacket,buthisflushedfaceandbig,hardheadwereintheshadow。TherewassomethingabouthimthatmadeHildawishherselfatherhotelagain,inthestreetbelow,anywherebutwhereshewas。
\"OfcourseIknow,Bartley,\"shesaidatlast,\"thatafterthisyouwon’towemetheleastconsideration。ButwesailonTuesday。
Isawthatinterviewinthepaperyesterday,tellingwhereyouwere,andIthoughtIhadtoseeyou。That’sall。Good—night;I’mgoingnow。\"
Sheturnedandherhandclosedonthedoor—knob。
Alexanderhurriedtowardherandtookhergentlybythearm。\"Sitdown,Hilda;
you’rewetthrough。Letmetakeoffyourcoat——andyourboots;they’reoozingwater。\"
Hekneltdownandbegantounlacehershoes,whileHildashrankintothechair。\"Here,putyourfeetonthisstool。Youdon’tmeantosayyouwalkeddown——andwithoutovershoes!\"
Hildahidherfaceinherhands。\"Iwasafraidtotakeacab。Can’tyousee,Bartley,thatI’mterriblyfrightened?I’vebeenthroughthisahundredtimesto—day。Don’tbeanymoreangrythanyoucanhelp。IwasallrightuntilIknewyouwereintown。
Ifyou’dsentmeanote,ortelephonedme,oranything!Butyouwon’tletmewritetoyou,andIhadtoseeyouafterthatletter,thatterribleletteryouwrotemewhenyougothome。\"
Alexanderfacedher,restinghisarmonthemantelbehindhim,andbegantobrushthesleeveofhisjacket。\"Isthisthewayyoumeantoanswerit,Hilda?\"heaskedunsteadily。
Shewasafraidtolookupathim。
\"Didn’t——didn’tyoumeaneventosaygoodbytome,Bartley?Didyoumeanjustto——
quitme?\"sheasked。\"IcametotellyouthatI’mwillingtodoasyouaskedme。Butit’snousetalkingaboutthatnow。Givememythings,please。\"Sheputherhandouttowardthefender。
Alexandersatdownonthearmofherchair。
\"DidyouthinkIhadforgottenyouwereintown,Hilda?DoyouthinkIkeptawaybyaccident?
DidyousupposeIdidn’tknowyouweresailingonTuesday?
Thereisaletterforyouthere,inmydeskdrawer。
Itwastohavereachedyouonthesteamer。Iwasallthemorningwritingit。ItoldmyselfthatifIwerereallythinkingofyou,andnotofmyself,aletterwouldbebetterthannothing。
Marksonpapermeansomethingtoyou。\"
Hepaused。\"Theyneverdidtome。\"
Hildasmiledupathimbeautifullyandputherhandonhissleeve。\"Oh,Bartley!
Didyouwritetome?Whydidn’tyoutelephonemetoletmeknowthatyouhad?ThenIwouldn’thavecome。\"
Alexanderslippedhisarmabouther。\"Ididn’tknowitbefore,Hilda,onmyhonorIdidn’t,butIbelieveitwasbecause,deepdowninmesomewhere,IwashopingImightdriveyoutodojustthis。I’vewatchedthatdoorallday。I’vejumpedupifthefirecrackled。
IthinkIhavefeltthatyouwerecoming。\"
Hebenthisfaceoverherhair。
\"AndI,\"shewhispered,——\"Ifeltthatyouwerefeelingthat。
ButwhenIcame,IthoughtIhadbeenmistaken。\"
Alexanderstartedupandbegantowalkupanddowntheroom。
\"No,youweren’tmistaken。I’vebeenupinCanadawithmybridge,andIarrangednottocometoNewYorkuntilafteryouhadgone。Then,whenyourmanageraddedtwomoreweeks,Iwasalreadycommitted。\"
Hedroppeduponthestoolinfrontofherandsatwithhishandshangingbetweenhisknees。
\"WhatamItodo,Hilda?\"
\"That’swhatIwantedtoseeyouabout,Bartley。I’mgoingtodowhatyouaskedmetodowhenyouwereinLondon。OnlyI’lldoitmorecompletely。I’mgoingtomarry。\"
\"Who?\"
\"Oh,itdoesn’tmattermuch!Oneofthem。
OnlynotMac。I’mtoofondofhim。\"
Alexandermovedrestlessly。\"Areyoujoking,Hilda?\"
\"IndeedI’mnot。\"
\"Thenyoudon’tknowwhatyou’retalkingabout。\"
\"Yes,Iknowverywell。I’vethoughtaboutitagreatdeal,andI’vequitedecided。
Ineverusedtounderstandhowwomendidthingslikethat,butIknownow。It’sbecausetheycan’tbeatthemercyofthemantheyloveanylonger。\"
Alexanderflushedangrily。\"Soit’sbettertobeatthemercyofamanyoudon’tlove?\"
\"Undersuchcircumstances,infinitely!\"
TherewasaflashinhereyesthatmadeAlexander’sfall。Hegotupandwentovertothewindow,threwitopen,andleanedout。
HeheardHildamovingaboutbehindhim。
Whenhelookedoverhisshouldershewaslacingherboots。Hewentbackandstoodoverher。
\"Hildayou’dbetterthinkawhilelongerbeforeyoudothat。Idon’tknowwhatI
oughttosay,butIdon’tbelieveyou’dbehappy;trulyIdon’t。Aren’tyoutryingtofrightenme?\"
Shetiedtheknotofthelastlacingandputherboot—heeldownfirmly。\"No;I’mtellingyouwhatI’vemadeupmymindtodo。
IsupposeIwouldbetterdoitwithouttellingyou。
ButafterwardIshan’thaveanopportunitytoexplain,forIshan’tbeseeingyouagain。\"
Alexanderstartedtospeak,butcaughthimself。
WhenHildarosehesatdownonthearmofherchairanddrewherbackintoit。
\"Iwouldn’tbesomuchalarmedifIdidn’tknowhowutterlyrecklessyouCANbe。
Don’tdoanythinglikethatrashly。\"
Hisfacegrewtroubled。\"Youwouldn’tbehappy。
Youarenotthatkindofwoman。I’dneverhaveanotherhour’speaceifIhelpedtomakeyoudoathinglikethat。\"Hetookherfacebetweenhishandsandlookeddownintoit。
\"Yousee,youaredifferent,Hilda。Don’tyouknowyouare?\"Hisvoicegrewsofter,histouchmoreandmoretender。\"Somewomencandothatsortofthing,butyou——youcanloveasqueensdid,intheoldtime。\"
Hildahadheardthatsoft,deeptoneinhisvoiceonlyoncebefore。Sheclosedhereyes;
herlipsandeyelidstrembled。\"Onlyone,Bartley。
Onlyone。Andhethrewitbackatmeasecondtime。\"
Shefeltthestrengthleapinthearmsthatheldhersolightly。
\"Tryhimagain,Hilda。Tryhimonceagain。\"
Shelookedupintohiseyes,andhidherfaceinherhands。
CHAPTERX
OnTuesdayafternoonaBostonlawyer,whohadbeentryingacaseinVermont,wasstandingonthesidingatWhiteRiverJunctionwhentheCanadianExpresspulledbyonitsnorthwardjourney。Astheday—coachesattherearendofthelongtrainsweptbyhim,thelawyernoticedatoneofthewindowsaman’shead,withthickrumpledhair。
\"Curious,\"hethought;\"thatlookedlikeAlexander,butwhatwouldhebedoingbackthereinthedaycoaches?\"
Itwas,indeed,Alexander。
ThatmorningatelegramfromMoorlockhadreachedhim,tellinghimthattherewasserioustroublewiththebridgeandthathewasneededthereatonce,sohehadcaughtthefirsttrainoutofNewYork。Hehadtakenaseatinaday—coachtoavoidtheriskofmeetinganyoneheknew,andbecausehedidnotwishtobecomfortable。Whenthetelegramarrived,AlexanderwasathisroomsonTenthStreet,packinghisbagtogotoBoston。
OnMondaynighthehadwrittenalonglettertohiswife,butwhenmorningcamehewasafraidtosendit,andtheletterwasstillinhispocket。Winifredwasnotawomanwhocouldbeardisappointment。Shedemandedagreatdealofherselfandofthepeoplesheloved;andsheneverfailedherself。
Ifhetoldhernow,heknew,itwouldbeirretrievable。Therewouldbenogoingback。
Hewouldlosethethinghevaluedmostintheworld;hewouldbedestroyinghimselfandhisownhappiness。Therewouldbenothingforhimafterward。HeseemedtoseehimselfdraggingoutarestlessexistenceontheContinent——Cannes,Hyeres,Algiers,Cairo——
amongsmartlydressed,disabledmenofeverynationality;forevergoingonjourneysthatlednowhere;hurryingtocatchtrainsthathemightjustaswellmiss;gettingupinthemorningwithagreatbustleandsplashingofwater,tobeginadaythathadnopurposeandnomeaning;dininglatetoshortenthenight,sleepinglatetoshortentheday。
Andforwhat?Foramerefolly,amasquerade,alittlethingthathecouldnotletgo。
ANDHECOULDEVENLETITGO,hetoldhimself。
ButhehadpromisedtobeinLondonatmid—
summer,andheknewthathewouldgo……
Itwasimpossibletolivelikethisanylonger。
Andthis,then,wastobethedisasterthathisoldprofessorhadforeseenforhim:
thecrackinthewall,thecrash,thecloudofdust。Andhecouldnotunderstandhowithadcomeabout。Hefeltthathehimselfwasunchanged,thathewasstillthere,thesamemanhehadbeenfiveyearsago,andthathewassittingstupidlybyandlettingsomeresoluteoffshootofhimselfspoilhislifeforhim。Thisnewforcewasnothe,itwasbutapartofhim。Hewouldnotevenadmitthatitwasstrongerthanhe;butitwasmoreactive。
Itwasbyitsenergythatthisnewfeelinggotthebetterofhim。Hiswifewasthewomanwhohadmadehislife,gratifiedhispride,givendirectiontohistastesandhabits。
Thelifetheyledtogetherseemedtohimbeautiful。
Winifredstillwas,asshehadalwaysbeen,Romanceforhim,andwheneverhewasdeeplystirredheturnedtoher。Whenthegrandeurandbeautyoftheworldchallengedhim——
asitchallengeseventhemostself—absorbedpeople——
healwaysansweredwithhername。Thatwashisreplytothequestionputbythemountainsandthestars;
toallthespiritualaspectsoflife。Inhisfeelingforhiswifetherewasallthetenderness,allthepride,allthedevotionofwhichhewascapable。Therewaseverythingbutenergy;
theenergyofyouthwhichmustregisteritselfandcutitsnamebeforeitpasses。Thisnewfeelingwassofresh,sounsatisfiedandlightoffoot。Itranandwasnotwearied,anticipatedhimeverywhere。ItputagirdleroundtheearthwhilehewasgoingfromNewYorktoMoorlock。Atthismoment,itwastinglingthroughhim,exultant,andliveasquicksilver,whispering,\"InJulyyouwillbeinEngland。\"
Alreadyhedreadedthelong,emptydaysatsea,themonotonousIrishcoast,thesluggishpassageuptheMersey,theflashoftheboattrainthroughthesummercountry。
Heclosedhiseyesandgavehimselfuptothefeelingofrapidmotionandtoswift,terrifyingthoughts。Hewassittingso,hisfaceshadedbyhishand,whentheBostonlawyersawhimfromthesidingatWhiteRiverJunction。
WhenatlastAlexanderrousedhimself,theafternoonhadwanedtosunset。Thetrainwaspassingthroughagraycountryandtheskyoverheadwasflushedwithawidefloodofclearcolor。Therewasarose—coloredlightoverthegrayrocksandhillsandmeadows。
Offtotheleft,undertheapproachofaweather—stainedwoodenbridge,agroupofboysweresittingaroundalittlefire。
Thesmellofthewoodsmokeblewinatthewindow。
Exceptforanoldfarmer,joggingalongthehighroadinhisbox—wagon,therewasnotanotherlivingcreaturetobeseen。Alexanderlookedbackwistfullyattheboys,campedontheedgeofalittlemarsh,crouchingundertheirshelterandlookinggravelyattheirfire。Theytookhismindbackalongway,toacampfireonasandbarinaWesternriver,andhewishedhecouldgobackandsitdownwiththem。
Hecouldrememberexactlyhowtheworldhadlookedthen。
ItwasquitedarkandAlexanderwasstillthinkingoftheboys,whenitoccurredtohimthatthetrainmustbenearingAllway。
IngoingtohisnewbridgeatMoorlockhehadalwaystopassthroughAllway。ThetrainstoppedatAllwayMills,thenwoundtwomilesuptheriver,andthenthehollowsoundunderhisfeettoldBartleythathewasonhisfirstbridgeagain。Thebridgeseemedlongerthanithadeverseemedbefore,andhewasgladwhenhefeltthebeatofthewheelsonthesolidroadbedagain。Hedidnotlikecomingandgoingacrossthatbridge,orrememberingthemanwhobuiltit。Andwashe,indeed,thesamemanwhousedtowalkthatbridgeatnight,promisingsuchthingstohimselfandtothestars?Andyet,hecouldrememberitallsowell:thequiethillssleepinginthemoonlight,theslenderskeletonofthebridgereachingoutintotheriver,andupyonder,aloneonthehill,thebigwhitehouse;
upstairs,inWinifred’swindow,thelightthattoldhimshewasstillawakeandstillthinkingofhim。
Andafterthelightwentouthewalkedalone,takingtheheavensintohisconfidence,unabletotearhimselfawayfromthewhitemagicofthenight,unwillingtosleepbecauselongingwassosweettohim,andbecause,forthefirsttimesincefirstthehillswerehungwithmoonlight,therewasaloverintheworld。
Andalwaystherewasthesoundoftherushingwaterunderneath,thesoundwhich,morethananythingelse,meantdeath;thewearingawayofthingsundertheimpactofphysicalforceswhichmencoulddirectbutnevercircumventordiminish。
Then,intheexaltationoflove,morethaneveritseemedtohimtomeandeath,theonlyotherthingasstrongaslove。Underthemoon,underthecold,splendidstars,therewereonlythosetwothingsawakeandsleepless;deathandlove,therushingriverandhisburningheart。
Alexandersatupandlookedabouthim。
Thetrainwastearingonthroughthedarkness。
Allhiscompanionsintheday—coachwereeitherdozingorsleepingheavily,andthemurkylampswereturnedlow。
Howcamehehereamongallthesedirtypeople?
WhywashegoingtoLondon?Whatdiditmean——whatwastheanswer?Howcouldthishappentoamanwhohadlivedthroughthatmagicalspringandsummer,andwhohadfeltthatthestarsthemselveswerebutflamingparticlesinthefar—awayinfinitudesofhislove?
Whathadhedonetoloseit?Howcouldheendurethebasenessoflifewithoutit?
Andwitheveryrevolutionofthewheelsbeneathhim,theunquietquicksilverinhisbreasttoldhimthatatmidsummerhewouldbeinLondon。
Herememberedhislastnightthere:theredfoggydarkness,thehungrycrowdsbeforethetheatres,thehand—organs,thefeverishrhythmoftheblurred,crowdedstreets,andthefeelingoflettinghimselfgowiththecrowd。Heshudderedandlookedabouthimatthepoorunconsciouscompanionsofhisjourney,unkemptandtravel—stained,nowdoubledinunlovelyattitudes,whohadcometostandtohimfortheuglinesshehadbroughtintotheworld。
Andthoseboysbackthere,beginningitalljustashehadbegunit;hewishedhecouldpromisethembetterluck。Ah,ifonecouldpromiseanyonebetterluck,ifonecouldassureasinglehumanbeingofhappiness!
Hehadthoughthecoulddoso,once;
anditwasthinkingofthatthatheatlastfellasleep。Inhissleep,asifithadnothingfreshertoworkupon,hismindwentbackandtortureditselfwithsomethingyearsandyearsaway,anold,long—forgottensorrowofhischildhood。
WhenAlexanderawokeinthemorning,thesunwasjustrisingthroughpalegoldenripplesofcloud,andthefreshyellowlightwasvibratingthroughthepinewoods。
Thewhitebirches,withtheirlittleunfoldingleaves,gleamedinthelowlands,andthemarshmeadowswerealreadycomingtolifewiththeirfirstgreen,athin,brightcolorwhichhadrunoverthemlikefire。Asthetrainrushedalongthetrestles,thousandsofwildbirdsrosescreamingintothelight。
Theskywasalreadyapaleblueandoftheclearnessofcrystal。BartleycaughtuphisbagandhurriedthroughthePullmancoachesuntilhefoundtheconductor。Therewasastateroomunoccupied,andhetookitandsetaboutchanginghisclothes。
Lastnighthewouldnothavebelievedthatanythingcouldbesopleasantasthecoldwaterhedashedoverhisheadandshouldersandthefreshnessofcleanlinenonhisbody。
Afterhehaddressed,Alexandersatdownatthewindowanddrewintohislungsdeepbreathsofthepine—scentedair。
Hehadawakenedwithallhisoldsenseofpower。
Hecouldnotbelievethatthingswereasbadwithhimastheyhadseemedlastnight,thattherewasnowaytosetthementirelyright。
EvenifhewenttoLondonatmidsummer,whatwouldthatmeanexceptthathewasafool?
Andhehadbeenafoolbefore。Thatwasnottherealityofhislife。YetheknewthathewouldgotoLondon。
HalfanhourlaterthetrainstoppedatMoorlock。Alexandersprangtotheplatformandhurriedupthesiding,wavingtoPhilipHorton,oneofhisassistants,whowasanxiouslylookingupatthewindowsofthecoaches。Bartleytookhisarmandtheywenttogetherintothestationbuffet。
\"I’llhavemycoffeefirst,Philip。
Haveyouhadyours?Andnow,whatseemstobethematteruphere?\"
Theyoungman,inahurried,nervousway,beganhisexplanation。
ButAlexandercuthimshort。\"Whendidyoustopwork?\"heaskedsharply。
Theyoungengineerlookedconfused。
\"Ihaven’tstoppedworkyet,Mr。Alexander。
Ididn’tfeelthatIcouldgosofarwithoutdefiniteauthorizationfromyou。\"
\"Thenwhydidn’tyousayinyourtelegramexactlywhatyouthought,andaskforyourauthorization?You’dhavegotitquickenough。\"
\"Well,really,Mr。Alexander,Icouldn’tbeabsolutelysure,youknow,andIdidn’tliketotaketheresponsibilityofmakingitpublic。\"
Alexanderpushedbackhischairandrose。
\"AnythingIdocanbemadepublic,Phil。
Yousaythatyoubelievethelowerchordsareshowingstrain,andthateventheworkmenhavebeentalkingaboutit,andyetyou’vegoneonaddingweight。\"
\"I’msorry,Mr。Alexander,butIhadcountedonyourgettinghereyesterday。
Myfirsttelegrammissedyousomehow。
IsentoneSundayevening,tothesameaddress,butitwasreturnedtome。\"
\"Haveyouacarriageoutthere?
Imuststoptosendawire。\"
Alexanderwentuptothetelegraph—deskandpenciledthefollowingmessagetohiswife:——
Imayhavetobehereforsometime。
Canyoucomeupatonce?Urgent。
BARTLEY。
TheMoorlockBridgelaythreemilesabovethetown。Whentheywereseatedinthecarriage,Alexanderbegantoquestionhisassistantfurther。Ifitweretruethatthecompressionmembersshowedstrain,withthebridgeonlytwothirdsdone,thentherewasnothingtodobutpullthewholestructuredownandbeginoveragain。Hortonkeptrepeatingthathewassuretherecouldbenothingwrongwiththeestimates。
Alexandergrewimpatient。\"That’salltrue,Phil,butweneverwerejustifiedinassumingthatascalethatwasperfectlysafeforanordinarybridgewouldworkwithanythingofsuchlength。It’sallverywellonpaper,butitremainstobeseenwhetheritcanbedoneinpractice。Ishouldhavethrownupthejobwhentheycrowdedme。It’sallnonsensetotrytodowhatotherengineersaredoingwhenyouknowthey’renotsound。\"
\"Butjustnow,whenthereissuchcompetition,\"
theyoungermandemurred。\"Andcertainlythat’sthenewlineofdevelopment。\"
Alexandershruggedhisshouldersandmadenoreply。
Whentheyreachedthebridgeworks,Alexanderbeganhisexaminationimmediately。
Anhourlaterhesentforthesuperintendent。
\"Ithinkyouhadbetterstopworkoutthereatonce,Dan。Ishouldsaythatthelowerchordheremightbuckleatanymoment。ItoldtheCommissionthatwewereusinghigherunitstressesthananypracticehasestablished,andwe’veputthedeadloadatalowestimate。
Theoreticallyitworkedoutwellenough,butithadneveractuallybeentried。\"
Alexanderputonhisovercoatandtookthesuperintendentbythearm。\"Don’tlooksochopfallen,Dan。It’sajolt,butwe’vegottofaceit。Itisn’ttheendoftheworld,youknow。Nowwe’llgooutandcallthemenoffquietly。They’realreadynervous,Hortontellsme,andthere’snousealarmingthem。
I’llgowithyou,andwe’llsendtheendrivetersinfirst。\"
Alexanderandthesuperintendentpickedtheirwayoutslowlyoverthelongspan。
Theywentdeliberately,stoppingtoseewhateachgangwasdoing,asiftheywereonanordinaryroundofinspection。Whentheyreachedtheendoftheriverspan,Alexandernoddedtothesuperintendent,whoquietlygaveanordertotheforeman。Themenintheendgangpickeduptheirtoolsand,glancingcuriouslyateachother,startedbackacrossthebridgetowardtheriver—bank。Alexanderhimselfremainedstandingwheretheyhadbeenworking,lookingabouthim。Itwashardtobelieve,ashelookedbackoverit,thatthewholegreatspanwasincurablydisabled,wasalreadyasgoodascondemned,becausesomethingwasoutoflineinthelowerchordofthecantileverarm。
Theendrivetershadreachedthebankandweredispersingamongthetool—houses,andthesecondganghadpickeduptheirtoolsandwerestartingtowardtheshore。Alexander,stillstandingattheendoftheriverspan,sawthelowerchordofthecantileverarmgivealittle,likeanelbowbending。
Heshoutedandranafterthesecondgang,butbythistimeeveryoneknewthatthebigriverspanwasslowlysettling。Therewasaburstofshoutingthatwasimmediatelydrownedbythescreamandcrackingoftearingiron,asallthetensionworkbegantopullasunder。
Oncethechordsbegantobuckle,therewerethousandsoftonsofironwork,allrivetedtogetherandlyinginmidairwithoutsupport。Ittoreitselftopieceswithroaringandgrindingandnoisesthatwereliketheshrieksofasteamwhistle。
Therewasnoshockofanykind;thebridgehadnoimpetusexceptfromitsownweight。
Itlurchedneithertorightnorleft,butsankalmostinaverticalline,snappingandbreakingandtearingasitwent,becausenointegralpartcouldbearforaninstanttheenormousstrainlooseduponit。
Someofthemenjumpedandsomeran,tryingtomaketheshore。
Atthefirstshriekofthetearingiron,Alexanderjumpedfromthedownstreamsideofthebridge。Hestruckthewaterwithoutinjuryanddisappeared。Hewasundertheriveralongtimeandhadgreatdifficultyinholdinghisbreath。Whenitseemedimpossible,andhischestwasabouttoheave,hethoughtheheardhiswifetellinghimthathecouldholdoutalittlelonger。Aninstantlaterhisfaceclearedthewater。
Foramoment,inthedepthsoftheriver,hehadrealizedwhatitwouldmeantodieahypocrite,andtoliedeadunderthelastabandonmentofhertenderness。
Butonceinthelightandair,heknewheshouldlivetotellherandtorecoverallhehadlost。
Now,atlast,hefeltsureofhimself。
Hewasnotstartled。Itseemedtohimthathehadbeenthroughsomethingofthissortbefore。Therewasnothinghorribleaboutit。This,too,waslife,andlifewasactivity,justasitwasinBostonorinLondon。
Hewashimself,andtherewassomethingtobedone;everythingseemedperfectlynatural。Alexanderwasastrongswimmer,buthehadgonescarcelyadozenstrokeswhenthebridgeitself,whichhadbeensettlingfasterandfaster,crashedintothewaterbehindhim。Immediatelytheriverwasfullofdrowningmen。AgangofFrenchCanadiansfellalmostontopofhim。Hethoughthehadclearedthem,whentheybegancomingupallaroundhim,clutchingathimandateachother。Someofthemcouldswim,buttheywereeitherhurtorcrazedwithfright。
Alexandertriedtobeatthemoff,butthereweretoomanyofthem。Onecaughthimabouttheneck,anothergrippedhimaboutthemiddle,andtheywentdowntogether。Whenhesank,hiswifeseemedtobethereinthewaterbesidehim,tellinghimtokeephishead,thatifhecouldholdoutthemenwoulddrownandreleasehim。Therewassomethinghewantedtotellhiswife,buthecouldnotthinkclearlyfortheroaringinhisears。
Suddenlyherememberedwhatitwas。
Hecaughthisbreath,andthenshelethimgo。
Theworkofrecoveringthedeadwentonalldayandallthefollowingnight。
Bythenextmorningforty—eightbodieshadbeentakenoutoftheriver,buttherewerestilltwentymissing。Manyofthemenhadfallenwiththebridgeandwerehelddownunderthedebris。Earlyonthemorningoftheseconddayaclosedcarriagewasdrivenslowlyalongtheriver—bankandstoppedalittlebelowtheworks,wheretheriverboiledandchurnedaboutthegreatironcarcasswhichlayinastraightlinetwothirdsacrossit。
Thecarriagestoodtherehourafterhour,andwordsoonspreadamongthecrowdsontheshorethatitsoccupantwasthewifeoftheChiefEngineer;hisbodyhadnotyetbeenfound。Thewidowsofthelostworkmen,movingupanddownthebankwithshawlsovertheirheads,someofthemcarryingbabies,lookedattherustyhiredhackmanytimesthatmorning。Theydrewnearitandwalkedaboutit,butnoneofthemventuredtopeerwithin。Evenhalf—indifferentsight—
seersdroppedtheirvoicesastheytoldanewcomer:\"Youseethatcarriageoverthere?
That’sMrs。Alexander。Theyhaven’tfoundhimyet。Shegotoffthetrainthismorning。
Hortonmether。ShehearditinBostonyesterday——heardthenewsboyscryingitinthestreet。
AtnoonPhilipHortonmadehiswaythroughthecrowdwithatrayandatincoffee—potfromthecampkitchen。WhenhereachedthecarriagehefoundMrs。Alexanderjustashehadleftherintheearlymorning,leaningforwardalittle,withherhandontheloweredwindow,lookingattheriver。Hourafterhourshehadbeenwatchingthewater,thelonely,uselessstonetowers,andtheconvulsedmassofironwreckageoverwhichtheangryrivercontinuallyspatupitsyellowfoam。
\"Thosepoorwomenoutthere,dotheyblamehimverymuch?\"sheasked,asshehandedthecoffee—cupbacktoHorton。
\"Nobodyblameshim,Mrs。Alexander。
Ifanyoneistoblame,I’mafraidit’sI。
Ishouldhavestoppedworkbeforehecame。
HesaidsoassoonasImethim。Itriedtogethimhereadayearlier,butmytelegrammissedhim,somehow。Hedidn’thavetimereallytoexplaintome。Ifhe’dgothereMonday,he’dhavehadallthemenoffatonce。
But,yousee,Mrs。Alexander,suchathingneverhappenedbefore。Accordingtoallhumancalculations,itsimplycouldn’thappen。\"
Hortonleanedwearilyagainstthefrontwheelofthecab。Hehadnothadhisclothesoffforthirtyhours,andthestimulusofviolentexcitementwasbeginningtowearoff。
\"Don’tbeafraidtotellmetheworst,Mr。Horton。Don’tleavemetothedreadoffindingoutthingsthatpeoplemaybesaying。
Ifheisblamed,ifheneedsanyonetospeakforhim,\"——forthefirsttimehervoicebrokeandaflushoflife,tearful,painful,andconfused,sweptoverherrigidpallor,——
\"ifheneedsanyone,tellme,showmewhattodo。\"
Shebegantosob,andHortonhurriedaway。
Whenhecamebackatfouro’clockintheafternoonhewascarryinghishatinhishand,andWinifredknewassoonasshesawhimthattheyhadfoundBartley。Sheopenedthecarriagedoorbeforehereachedherandsteppedtotheground。
Hortonputouthishandasiftoholdherbackandspokepleadingly:\"Won’tyoudriveuptomyhouse,Mrs。Alexander?Theywilltakehimupthere。\"
\"Takemetohimnow,please。Ishallnotmakeanytrouble。\"
Thegroupofmendownundertheriverbankfellbackwhentheysawawomancoming,andoneofthemthrewatarpaulinoverthestretcher。TheytookofftheirhatsandcapsasWinifredapproached,andalthoughshehadpulledherveildownoverherfacetheydidnotlookupather。ShewastallerthanHorton,andsomeofthementhoughtshewasthetallestwomantheyhadeverseen。
\"Astallashimself,\"someonewhispered。
Hortonmotionedtothemen,andsixofthemliftedthestretcherandbegantocarryituptheembankment。Winifredfollowedthemthehalf—miletoHorton’shouse。Shewalkedquietly,withoutoncebreakingorstumbling。
WhenthebearersputthestretcherdowninHorton’ssparebedroom,shethankedthemandgaveherhandtoeachinturn。Themenwentoutofthehouseandthroughtheyardwiththeircapsintheirhands。Theyweretoomuchconfusedtosayanythingastheywentdownthehill。
Hortonhimselfwasalmostasdeeplyperplexed。
\"Mamie,\"hesaidtohiswife,whenhecameoutofthespareroomhalfanhourlater,\"willyoutakeMrs。Alexanderthethingssheneeds?Sheisgoingtodoeverythingherself。Juststayaboutwhereyoucanhearherandgoinifshewantsyou。\"
EverythinghappenedasAlexanderhadforeseeninthatmomentofprescienceundertheriver。Withherownhandsshewashedhimcleanofeverymarkofdisaster。Allnighthewasalonewithherinthestillhouse,hisgreatheadlyingdeepinthepillow。
InthepocketofhiscoatWinifredfoundtheletterthathehadwrittenherthenightbeforeheleftNewYork,water—soakedandillegible,butbecauseofitslength,sheknewithadbeenmeantforher。
ForAlexanderdeathwasaneasycreditor。
Fortune,whichhadsmileduponhimconsistentlyallhislife,didnotdeserthimintheend。Hisharshestcriticsdidnotdoubtthat,hadhelived,hewouldhaveretrievedhimself。
EvenLuciusWilsondidnotseeinthisaccidentthedisasterhehadonceforetold。
Whenagreatmandiesinhisprimethereisnosurgeonwhocansaywhetherhedidwell;
whetherornotthefuturewashis,asitseemedtobe。Themindthatsocietyhadcometoregardasapowerfulandreliablemachine,dedicatedtoitsservice,mayforalongtimehavebeensickwithinitselfandbentuponitsowndestruction。