ACTISCENEI。Rousillon。TheCOUNT’spalace。EnterBERTRAM，theCOUNTESSofRousillon，HELENA，andLAFEU，allinblackCOUNTESSIndeliveringmysonfromme，Iburyasecondhusband。BERTRAMAndIingoing，madam，weepo’ermyfather’sdeathanew：butImustattendhismajesty’scommand，towhomIamnowinward，evermoreinsubjection。LAFEUYoushallfindofthekingahusband，madam；
you，sir，afather：hethatsogenerallyisatalltimesgoodmustofnecessityholdhisvirtuetoyou；
whoseworthinesswouldstiritupwhereitwantedratherthanlackitwherethereissuchabundance。COUNTESSWhathopeisthereofhismajesty’samendment？LAFEUHehathabandonedhisphysicians，madam；
underwhosepractiseshehathpersecutedtimewithhope，andfindsnootheradvantageintheprocessbutonlythelosingofhopebytime。COUNTESSThisyounggentlewomanhadafather，——O，that’had’!howsadapassage’tis!——whoseskillwasalmostasgreatashishonesty；haditstretchedsofar，wouldhavemadenatureimmortal，anddeathshouldhaveplayforlackofwork。Would，fortheking’ssake，hewereliving!Ithinkitwouldbethedeathoftheking’sdisease。LAFEUHowcalledyouthemanyouspeakof，madam？COUNTESSHewasfamous，sir，inhisprofession，anditwashisgreatrighttobeso：GerarddeNarbon。LAFEUHewasexcellentindeed，madam：thekingverylatelyspokeofhimadmiringlyandmourningly：
hewasskilfulenoughtohavelivedstill，ifknowledgecouldbesetupagainstmortality。BERTRAMWhatisit，mygoodlord，thekinglanguishesof？LAFEUAfistula，mylord。BERTRAMIheardnotofitbefore。LAFEUIwoulditwerenotnotorious。WasthisgentlewomanthedaughterofGerarddeNarbon？COUNTESSHissolechild，mylord，andbequeathedtomyoverlooking。Ihavethosehopesofhergoodthathereducationpromises；herdispositionssheinherits，whichmakesfairgiftsfairer；forwhereanuncleanmindcarriesvirtuousqualities，therecommendationsgowithpity；theyarevirtuesandtraitorstoo；inhertheyarethebetterfortheirsimpleness；shederivesherhonestyandachieveshergoodness。LAFEUYourcommendations，madam，getfromhertears。COUNTESS’Tisthebestbrineamaidencanseasonherpraisein。Theremembranceofherfatherneverapproachesherheartbutthetyrannyofhersorrowstakesalllivelihoodfromhercheek。Nomoreofthis，Helena；
goto，nomore；lestitberatherthoughtyouaffectasorrowthanhaveit。HELENAIdoaffectasorrowindeed，butIhaveittoo。LAFEUModeratelamentationistherightofthedead，excessivegrieftheenemytotheliving。COUNTESSIfthelivingbeenemytothegrief，theexcessmakesitsoonmortal。BERTRAMMadam，Idesireyourholywishes。LAFEUHowunderstandwethat？COUNTESSBethoublest，Bertram，andsucceedthyfatherInmanners，asinshape!thybloodandvirtueContendforempireinthee，andthygoodnessSharewiththybirthright!Loveall，trustafew，Dowrongtonone：beableforthineenemyRatherinpowerthanuse，andkeepthyfriendUnderthyownlife’skey：becheque’dforsilence，Butnevertax’dforspeech。Whatheavenmorewill，Thattheemayfurnishandmyprayerspluckdown，Fallonthyhead!Farewell，mylord；
’Tisanunseason’dcourtier；goodmylord，Advisehim。LAFEUHecannotwantthebestThatshallattendhislove。COUNTESSHeavenblesshim!Farewell，Bertram。
ExitBERTRAM[ToHELENA]Thebestwishesthatcanbeforgedinyourthoughtsbeservantstoyou!Becomfortabletomymother，yourmistress，andmakemuchofher。LAFEUFarewell，prettylady：youmustholdthecreditofyourfather。
ExeuntBERTRAMandLAFEUHELENAO，werethatall!Ithinknotonmyfather；
AndthesegreattearsgracehisremembrancemoreThanthoseIshedforhim。Whatwashelike？
Ihaveforgothim：myimaginationCarriesnofavourin’tbutBertram’s。
Iamundone：thereisnoliving，none，IfBertrambeaway。’TwerealloneThatIshouldloveabrightparticularstarAndthinktowedit，heissoaboveme：
InhisbrightradianceandcollaterallightMustIbecomforted，notinhissphere。
Theambitioninmylovethusplaguesitself：
ThehindthatwouldbematedbythelionMustdieforlove。’Twaspretty，thoughplague，Toseehimeveryhour；tositanddrawHisarchedbrows，hishawkingeye，hiscurls，Inourheart’stable；hearttoocapableOfeverylineandtrickofhissweetfavour：
Butnowhe’sgone，andmyidolatrousfancyMustsanctifyhisreliques。Whocomeshere？
EnterPAROLLES
AsideOnethatgoeswithhim：Ilovehimforhissake；
AndyetIknowhimanotoriousliar，Thinkhimagreatwayfool，solelyacoward；
Yetthesefixedevilssitsofitinhim，Thattheytakeplace，whenvirtue’ssteelybonesLookbleaki’thecoldwind：withal，fulloftweseeColdwisdomwaitingonsuperfluousfolly。PAROLLESSaveyou，fairqueen!HELENAAndyou，monarch!PAROLLESNo。HELENAAndno。PAROLLESAreyoumeditatingonvirginity？HELENAAy。Youhavesomestainofsoldierinyou：letmeaskyouaquestion。Manisenemytovirginity；
howmaywebarricadoitagainsthim？PAROLLESKeephimout。HELENAButheassails；andourvirginity，thoughvaliant，inthedefenceyetisweak：unfoldtoussomewarlikeresistance。PAROLLESThereisnone：man，sittingdownbeforeyou，willundermineyouandblowyouup。HELENABlessourpoorvirginityfromunderminersandblowersup!Istherenomilitarypolicy，howvirginsmightblowupmen？PAROLLESVirginitybeingblowndown，manwillquicklierbeblownup：marry，inblowinghimdownagain，withthebreachyourselvesmade，youloseyourcity。
Itisnotpoliticinthecommonwealthofnaturetopreservevirginity。Lossofvirginityisrationalincreaseandtherewasnevervirgingottillvirginitywasfirstlost。Thatyouweremadeofismetaltomakevirgins。Virginitybybeingoncelostmaybetentimesfound；bybeingeverkept，itiseverlost：’tistoocoldacompanion；awaywith’t!HELENAIwillstandfor’talittle，thoughthereforeIdieavirgin。PAROLLESThere’slittlecanbesaidin’t；’tisagainsttheruleofnature。Tospeakonthepartofvirginity，istoaccuseyourmothers；whichismostinfallibledisobedience。Hethathangshimselfisavirgin：
virginitymurdersitselfandshouldbeburiedinhighwaysoutofallsanctifiedlimit，asadesperateoffendressagainstnature。Virginitybreedsmites，muchlikeacheese；consumesitselftotheveryparing，andsodieswithfeedinghisownstomach。
Besides，virginityispeevish，proud，idle，madeofself—love，whichisthemostinhibitedsininthecanon。Keepitnot；youcannotchoosebutlooseby’t：outwith’t!withintenyearitwillmakeitselften，whichisagoodlyincrease；andtheprincipalitselfnotmuchtheworse：awaywith’t!HELENAHowmightonedo，sir，toloseittoherownliking？PAROLLESLetmesee：marry，ill，tolikehimthatne’eritlikes。’Tisacommoditywilllosetheglosswithlying；thelongerkept，thelessworth：offwith’twhile’tisvendible；answerthetimeofrequest。
Virginity，likeanoldcourtier，wearshercapoutoffashion：richlysuited，butunsuitable：justlikethebroochandthetooth—pick，whichwearnotnow。Yourdateisbetterinyourpieandyourporridgethaninyourcheek；andyourvirginity，youroldvirginity，islikeoneofourFrenchwitheredpears，itlooksill，iteatsdrily；
marry，’tisawitheredpear；itwasformerlybetter；
marry，yet’tisawitheredpear：willyouanythingwithit？HELENANotmyvirginityyet[]
Thereshallyourmasterhaveathousandloves，Amotherandamistressandafriend，Aphoenix，captainandanenemy，Aguide，agoddess，andasovereign，Acounsellor，atraitress，andadear；
Hishumbleambition，proudhumility，Hisjarringconcord，andhisdiscorddulcet，Hisfaith，hissweetdisaster；withaworldOfpretty，fond，adoptiouschristendoms，ThatblinkingCupidgossips。Nowshallhe——
Iknownotwhatheshall。Godsendhimwell!
Thecourt’salearningplace，andheisone——PAROLLESWhatone，i’faith？HELENAThatIwishwell。’Tispity——PAROLLESWhat’spity？HELENAThatwishingwellhadnotabodyin’t，Whichmightbefelt；thatwe，thepoorerborn，Whosebaserstarsdoshutusupinwishes，Mightwitheffectsofthemfollowourfriends，Andshowwhatwealonemustthink，whichneverReturnusthanks。
EnterPagePageMonsieurParolles，mylordcallsforyou。
ExitPAROLLESLittleHelen，farewell；ifIcanrememberthee，I
willthinkoftheeatcourt。HELENAMonsieurParolles，youwerebornunderacharitablestar。PAROLLESUnderMars，I。HELENAIespeciallythink，underMars。PAROLLESWhyunderMars？HELENAThewarshavesokeptyouunderthatyoumustneedsbebornunderMars。PAROLLESWhenhewaspredominant。HELENAWhenhewasretrograde，Ithink，rather。PAROLLESWhythinkyouso？HELENAYougosomuchbackwardwhenyoufight。PAROLLESThat’sforadvantage。HELENASoisrunningaway，whenfearproposesthesafety；
butthecompositionthatyourvalourandfearmakesinyouisavirtueofagoodwing，andIlikethewearwell。PAROLLESIamsofullofbusinesses，Icannotanswertheeacutely。Iwillreturnperfectcourtier；inthewhich，myinstructionshallservetonaturalizethee，sothouwiltbecapableofacourtier’scounselandunderstandwhatadviceshallthrustuponthee；elsethoudiestinthineunthankfulness，andthineignorancemakestheeaway：farewell。Whenthouhastleisure，saythyprayers；whenthouhastnone，rememberthyfriends；gettheeagoodhusband，andusehimasheusesthee；so，farewell。
ExitHELENAOurremediesoftinourselvesdolie，Whichweascribetoheaven：thefatedskyGivesusfreescope，onlydothbackwardpullOurslowdesignswhenweourselvesaredull。
Whatpowerisitwhichmountsmylovesohigh，Thatmakesmesee，andcannotfeedmineeye？
ThemightiestspaceinfortunenaturebringsTojoinlikelikesandkisslikenativethings。
ImpossiblebestrangeattemptstothoseThatweightheirpainsinsenseanddosupposeWhathathbeencannotbe：whoeverstroveSoshowhermerit，thatdidmissherlove？
Theking’sdisease——myprojectmaydeceiveme，Butmyintentsarefix’dandwillnotleaveme。
ExitSCENEII。Paris。TheKING’spalace。Flourishofcornets。EntertheKINGofFrance，withletters，anddiversAttendantsKINGTheFlorentinesandSenoysarebytheears；
HavefoughtwithequalfortuneandcontinueAbravingwar。FirstLordSo’tisreported，sir。KINGNay，’tismostcredible；weherereceiveditAcertainty，vouch’dfromourcousinAustria，WithcautionthattheFlorentinewillmoveusForspeedyaid；whereinourdearestfriendPrejudicatesthebusinessandwouldseemTohaveusmakedenial。FirstLordHisloveandwisdom，Approvedsotoyourmajesty，maypleadForamplestcredence。KINGHehatharm’douranswer，AndFlorenceisdeniedbeforehecomes：
Yet，forourgentlementhatmeantoseeTheTuscanservice，freelyhavetheyleaveTostandoneitherpart。SecondLordItwellmayserveAnurserytoourgentry，whoaresickForbreathingandexploit。KINGWhat’shecomeshere？
EnterBERTRAM，LAFEU，andPAROLLESFirstLordItistheCountRousillon，mygoodlord，YoungBertram。KINGYouth，thoubear’stthyfather’sface；
Franknature，rathercuriousthaninhaste，Hathwellcomposedthee。Thyfather’smoralpartsMaystthouinherittoo!WelcometoParis。BERTRAMMythanksanddutyareyourmajesty’s。KINGIwouldIhadthatcorporalsoundnessnow，AswhenthyfatherandmyselfinfriendshipFirsttriedoursoldiership!HedidlookfarIntotheserviceofthetimeandwasDiscipledofthebravest：helastedlong；
ButonusbothdidhaggishagestealonAndworeusoutofact。ItmuchrepairsmeTotalkofyourgoodfather。InhisyouthHehadthewitwhichIcanwellobserveTo—dayinouryounglords；buttheymayjestTilltheirownscornreturntothemunnotedEretheycanhidetheirlevityinhonour；
Solikeacourtier，contemptnorbitternessWereinhisprideorsharpness；iftheywere，Hisequalhadawakedthem，andhishonour，Clocktoitself，knewthetrueminutewhenExceptionbidhimspeak，andatthistimeHistongueobey’dhishand：whowerebelowhimHeusedascreaturesofanotherplaceAndbow’dhiseminenttoptotheirlowranks，Makingthemproudofhishumility，Intheirpoorpraisehehumbled。SuchamanMightbeacopytotheseyoungertimes；
Which，follow’dwell，woulddemonstratethemnowButgoersbackward。BERTRAMHisgoodremembrance，sir，Liesricherinyourthoughtsthanonhistomb；
SoinapprooflivesnothisepitaphAsinyourroyalspeech。KINGWouldIwerewithhim!Hewouldalwayssay——
MethinksIhearhimnow；hisplausivewordsHescatter’dnotinears，butgraftedthem，Togrowthereandtobear，——’Letmenotlive，’——
Thishisgoodmelancholyoftbegan，Onthecatastropheandheelofpastime，Whenitwasout，——’Letmenotlive，’quothhe，’Aftermyflamelacksoil，tobethesnuffOfyoungerspirits，whoseapprehensivesensesAllbutnewthingsdisdain；whosejudgmentsareMerefathersoftheirgarments；whoseconstanciesExpirebeforetheirfashions。’Thishewish’d；
Iafterhimdoafterhimwishtoo，SinceInorwaxnorhoneycanbringhome，Iquicklyweredissolvedfrommyhive，Togivesomelabourersroom。SecondLordYouareloved，sir：
Theythatleastlendityoushalllackyoufirst。KINGIfillaplace，Iknow’t。Howlongis’t，count，Sincethephysicianatyourfather’sdied？
Hewasmuchfamed。BERTRAMSomesixmonthssince，mylord。KINGIfhewereliving，Iwouldtryhimyet。
Lendmeanarm；theresthavewornmeoutWithseveralapplications；natureandsicknessDebateitattheirleisure。Welcome，count；
Myson’snodearer。BERTRAMThankyourmajesty。
Exeunt。FlourishSCENEIII。Rousillon。TheCOUNT’spalace。EnterCOUNTESS，Steward，andClownCOUNTESSIwillnowhear；whatsayyouofthisgentlewoman？StewardMadam，thecareIhavehadtoevenyourcontent，I
wishmightbefoundinthecalendarofmypastendeavours；forthenwewoundourmodestyandmakefoultheclearnessofourdeservings，whenofourselveswepublishthem。COUNTESSWhatdoesthisknavehere？Getyougone，sirrah：
thecomplaintsIhaveheardofyouIdonotallbelieve：’tismyslownessthatIdonot；forI
knowyoulacknotfollytocommitthem，andhaveabilityenoughtomakesuchknaveriesyours。Clown’Tisnotunknowntoyou，madam，Iamapoorfellow。COUNTESSWell，sir。ClownNo，madam，’tisnotsowellthatIampoor，thoughmanyofthericharedamned：but，ifImayhaveyourladyship’sgoodwilltogototheworld，IsbelthewomanandIwilldoaswemay。COUNTESSWiltthouneedsbeabeggar？ClownIdobegyourgoodwillinthiscase。COUNTESSInwhatcase？ClownInIsbel’scaseandmineown。Serviceisnoheritage：andIthinkIshallneverhavetheblessingofGodtillIhaveissueo’mybody；
fortheysaybarnesareblessings。COUNTESSTellmethyreasonwhythouwiltmarry。ClownMypoorbody，madam，requiresit：Iamdrivenonbytheflesh；andhemustneedsgothatthedevildrives。COUNTESSIsthisallyourworship’sreason？ClownFaith，madam，Ihaveotherholyreasonssuchastheyare。COUNTESSMaytheworldknowthem？ClownIhavebeen，madam，awickedcreature，asyouandallfleshandbloodare；and，indeed，IdomarrythatImayrepent。COUNTESSThymarriage，soonerthanthywickedness。ClownIamouto’friends，madam；andIhopetohavefriendsformywife’ssake。COUNTESSSuchfriendsarethineenemies，knave。ClownYou’reshallow，madam，ingreatfriends；
fortheknavescometodothatformewhichIamawearyof。
Hethatearsmylandsparesmyteamandgivesmeleavetointhecrop；ifIbehiscuckold，he’smydrudge：hethatcomfortsmywifeisthecherisherofmyfleshandblood；hethatcherishesmyfleshandbloodlovesmyfleshandblood；hethatlovesmyfleshandbloodismyfriend：ergo，hethatkissesmywifeismyfriend。Ifmencouldbecontentedtobewhattheyare，therewerenofearinmarriage；
foryoungCharbonthePuritanandoldPoysamthePapist，howsome’ertheirheartsareseveredinreligion，theirheadsarebothone；theymayjowlhornstogether，likeanydeeri’theherd。COUNTESSWiltthoueverbeafoul—mouthedandcalumniousknave？ClownAprophetI，madam；andIspeakthetruththenextway：
ForItheballadwillrepeat，Whichmenfulltrueshallfind；
Yourmarriagecomesbydestiny，Yourcuckoosingsbykind。COUNTESSGetyougone，sir；I’lltalkwithyoumoreanon。StewardMayitpleaseyou，madam，thathebidHelencometoyou：ofherIamtospeak。COUNTESSSirrah，tellmygentlewomanIwouldspeakwithher；
Helen，Imean。ClownWasthisfairfacethecause，quothshe，WhytheGrecianssackedTroy？
Fonddone，donefond，WasthisKingPriam’sjoy？
Withthatshesighedasshestood，Withthatshesighedasshestood，Andgavethissentencethen；
Amongninebadifonebegood，Amongninebadifonebegood，There’syetonegoodinten。COUNTESSWhat，onegoodinten？youcorruptthesong，sirrah。ClownOnegoodwomaninten，madam；whichisapurifyingo’thesong：wouldGodwouldservetheworldsoalltheyear!we’ldfindnofaultwiththetithe—woman，ifIweretheparson。Oneinten，quotha’!Anwemighthaveagoodwomanbornbutoneeveryblazingstar，oratanearthquake，’twouldmendthelotterywell：amanmaydrawhisheartout，erea’pluckone。COUNTESSYou’llbegone，sirknave，anddoasI
commandyou。ClownThatmanshouldbeatwoman’scommand，andyetnohurtdone!Thoughhonestybenopuritan，yetitwilldonohurt；itwillwearthesurpliceofhumilityovertheblackgownofabigheart。I
amgoing，forsooth：thebusinessisforHelentocomehither。
ExitCOUNTESSWell，now。StewardIknow，madam，youloveyourgentlewomanentirely。COUNTESSFaith，Ido：herfatherbequeathedhertome；andsheherself，withoutotheradvantage，maylawfullymaketitletoasmuchloveasshefinds：thereismoreowingherthanispaid；andmoreshallbepaidherthanshe’lldemand。StewardMadam，IwasverylatemorenearherthanIthinkshewishedme：aloneshewas，anddidcommunicatetoherselfherownwordstoherownears；shethought，Idarevowforher，theytouchednotanystrangersense。Hermatterwas，shelovedyourson：
Fortune，shesaid，wasnogoddess，thathadputsuchdifferencebetwixttheirtwoestates；Lovenogod，thatwouldnotextendhismight，onlywherequalitieswerelevel；Diannoqueenofvirgins，thatwouldsufferherpoorknightsurprised，withoutrescueinthefirstassaultorransomafterward。
Thisshedeliveredinthemostbittertouchofsorrowthate’erIheardvirginexclaimin：whichI
heldmydutyspeedilytoacquaintyouwithal；
sithence，inthelossthatmayhappen，itconcernsyousomethingtoknowit。COUNTESSYouhavedischargedthishonestly；keepittoyourself：manylikelihoodsinformedmeofthisbefore，whichhungsototteringinthebalancethatIcouldneitherbelievenormisdoubt。Prayyou，leaveme：stallthisinyourbosom；andIthankyouforyourhonestcare：Iwillspeakwithyoufurtheranon。
ExitStewardEnterHELENA
EvensoitwaswithmewhenIwasyoung：
Ifeverwearenature’s，theseareours；thisthornDothtoourroseofyouthrightlybelong；
Ourbloodtous，thistoourbloodisborn；
Itistheshowandsealofnature’struth，Wherelove’sstrongpassionisimpress’dinyouth：
Byourremembrancesofdaysforegone，Suchwereourfaults，orthenwethoughtthemnone。
Hereyeissickon’t：Iobservehernow。HELENAWhatisyourpleasure，madam？COUNTESSYouknow，Helen，Iamamothertoyou。HELENAMinehonourablemistress。COUNTESSNay，amother：
Whynotamother？WhenIsaid’amother，’
Methoughtyousawaserpent：what’sin’mother，’
Thatyoustartatit？Isay，Iamyourmother；
AndputyouinthecatalogueofthoseThatwereenwombedmine：’tisoftenseenAdoptionstriveswithnatureandchoicebreedsAnativesliptousfromforeignseeds：
Youne’eroppress’dmewithamother’sgroan，YetIexpresstoyouamother’scare：
God’smercy，maiden!doesitcurdthybloodTosayIamthymother？What’sthematter，Thatthisdistemper’dmessengerofwet，Themany—colour’dIris，roundsthineeye？
Why？thatyouaremydaughter？HELENAThatIamnot。COUNTESSIsay，Iamyourmother。HELENAPardon，madam；
TheCountRousilloncannotbemybrother：
Iamfromhumble，hefromhonour’dname；
Nonoteuponmyparents，hisallnoble：
Mymaster，mydearlordheis；andI
Hisservantlive，andwillhisvassaldie：
Hemustnotbemybrother。COUNTESSNorIyourmother？HELENAYouaremymother，madam；wouldyouwere，——
Sothatmylordyoursonwerenotmybrother，——
Indeedmymother!orwereyoubothourmothers，IcarenomoreforthanIdoforheaven，SoIwerenothissister。Can’tnoother，But，Iyourdaughter，hemustbemybrother？COUNTESSYes，Helen，youmightbemydaughter—in—law：
Godshieldyoumeanitnot!daughterandmotherSostriveuponyourpulse。What，paleagain？
Myfearhathcatch’dyourfondness：nowIseeThemysteryofyourloneliness，andfindYoursalttears’head：nowtoallsense’tisgrossYoulovemyson；inventionisashamed，Againsttheproclamationofthypassion，Tosaythoudostnot：thereforetellmetrue；
Buttellmethen，’tisso；for，lookthycheeksConfessit，th’onetoth’other；andthineeyesSeeitsogrosslyshowninthybehaviorsThatintheirkindtheyspeakit：onlysinAndhellishobstinacytiethytongue，Thattruthshouldbesuspected。Speak，is’tso？
Ifitbeso，youhavewoundagoodlyclew；
Ifitbenot，forswear’t：howe’er，Ichargethee，Asheavenshallworkinmeforthineavail，Tellmetruly。HELENAGoodmadam，pardonme!COUNTESSDoyoulovemyson？HELENAYourpardon，noblemistress!COUNTESSLoveyoumyson？HELENADonotyoulovehim，madam？COUNTESSGonotabout；mylovehathin’tabond，Whereoftheworldtakesnote：come，come，discloseThestateofyouraffection；foryourpassionsHavetothefullappeach’d。HELENAThen，Iconfess，Hereonmyknee，beforehighheavenandyou，Thatbeforeyou，andnextuntohighheaven，Iloveyourson。
Myfriendswerepoor，buthonest；so’smylove：
Benotoffended；forithurtsnothimThatheislovedofme：IfollowhimnotByanytokenofpresumptuoussuit；
NorwouldIhavehimtillIdodeservehim；
Yetneverknowhowthatdesertshouldbe。
IknowIloveinvain，striveagainsthope；
YetinthiscaptiousandinteniblesieveIstillpourinthewatersofmyloveAndlacknottolosestill：thus，Indian—like，Religiousinmineerror，IadoreThesun，thatlooksuponhisworshipper，Butknowsofhimnomore。Mydearestmadam，LetnotyourhateencounterwithmyloveForlovingwhereyoudo：butifyourself，Whoseagedhonourcitesavirtuousyouth，DideverinsotrueaflameoflikingWishchastelyandlovedearly，thatyourDianWasbothherselfandlove：O，then，givepityToher，whosestateissuchthatcannotchooseButlendandgivewheresheissuretolose；
Thatseeksnottofindthathersearchimplies，Butriddle—likelivessweetlywhereshedies!COUNTESSHadyounotlatelyanintent，——speaktruly，——
TogotoParis？HELENAMadam，Ihad。COUNTESSWherefore？telltrue。HELENAIwilltelltruth；bygraceitselfI
swear。
YouknowmyfatherleftmesomeprescriptionsOfrareandprovedeffects，suchashisreadingAndmanifestexperiencehadcollectedForgeneralsovereignty；andthathewill’dmeInheedfull’streservationtobestowthem，AsnoteswhosefacultiesinclusivewereMorethantheywereinnote：amongsttherest，Thereisaremedy，approved，setdown，TocurethedesperatelanguishingswhereofThekingisrender’dlost。COUNTESSThiswasyourmotiveForParis，wasit？speak。HELENAMylordyoursonmademetothinkofthis；
ElseParisandthemedicineandthekingHadfromtheconversationofmythoughtsHaplybeenabsentthen。COUNTESSButthinkyou，Helen，Ifyoushouldtenderyoursupposedaid，Hewouldreceiveit？heandhisphysiciansAreofamind；he，thattheycannothelphim，They，thattheycannothelp：howshalltheycreditApoorunlearnedvirgin，whentheschools，Embowell’doftheirdoctrine，haveleftoffThedangertoitself？HELENAThere’ssomethingin’t，Morethanmyfather’sskill，whichwasthegreatestOfhisprofession，thathisgoodreceiptShallformylegacybesanctifiedBytheluckieststarsinheaven：and，wouldyourhonourButgivemeleavetotrysuccess，I’ldventureThewell—lostlifeofmineonhisgrace’scureBysuchadayandhour。COUNTESSDostthoubelieve’t？HELENAAy，madam，knowingly。COUNTESSWhy，Helen，thoushalthavemyleaveandlove，MeansandattendantsandmylovinggreetingsTothoseofmineincourt：I’llstayathomeAndprayGod’sblessingintothyattempt：
Begoneto—morrow；andbesureofthis，WhatIcanhelptheetothoushaltnotmiss。
ExeuntACTIISCENEI。Paris。TheKING’spalace。Flourishofcornets。EntertheKING，attendedwithdiversyoungLordstakingleavefortheFlorentinewar；BERTRAM，andPAROLLESKINGFarewell，younglords；thesewarlikeprinciplesDonotthrowfromyou：andyou，mylords，farewell：
Sharetheadvicebetwixtyou；ifbothgain，allThegiftdothstretchitselfas’tisreceived，Andisenoughforboth。FirstLord’Tisourhope，sir，Afterwellenter’dsoldiers，toreturnAndfindyourgraceinhealth。KINGNo，no，itcannotbe；andyetmyheartWillnotconfessheowesthemaladyThatdothmylifebesiege。Farewell，younglords；
WhetherIliveordie，beyouthesonsOfworthyFrenchmen：lethigherItaly，——
ThosebatedthatinheritbutthefallOfthelastmonarchy，——seethatyoucomeNottowoohonour，buttowedit；whenThebravestquestantshrinks，findwhatyouseek，Thatfamemaycryyouloud：Isay，farewell。SecondLordHealth，atyourbidding，serveyourmajesty!KINGThosegirlsofItaly，takeheedofthem：
Theysay，ourFrenchlacklanguagetodeny，Iftheydemand：bewareofbeingcaptives，Beforeyouserve。BothOurheartsreceiveyourwarnings。KINGFarewell。Comehithertome。
Exit，attendedFirstLordO，mysweetlord，thatyouwillstaybehindus!PAROLLES’Tisnothisfault，thespark。SecondLordO，’tisbravewars!PAROLLESMostadmirable：Ihaveseenthosewars。BERTRAMIamcommandedhere，andkeptacoilwith’Tooyoung’and’thenextyear’and’’tistooearly。’PAROLLESAnthymindstandto’t，boy，stealawaybravely。BERTRAMIshallstayheretheforehorsetoasmock，Creakingmyshoesontheplainmasonry，TillhonourbeboughtupandnoswordwornButonetodancewith!Byheaven，I’llstealaway。FirstLordThere’shonourinthetheft。PAROLLESCommitit，count。SecondLordIamyouraccessary；andso，farewell。BERTRAMIgrowtoyou，andourpartingisatorturedbody。FirstLordFarewell，captain。SecondLordSweetMonsieurParolles!PAROLLESNobleheroes，myswordandyoursarekin。
Goodsparksandlustrous，aword，goodmetals：youshallfindintheregimentoftheSpiniioneCaptainSpurio，withhiscicatrice，anemblemofwar，hereonhissinistercheek；itwasthisveryswordentrenchedit：saytohim，Ilive；andobservehisreportsforme。FirstLordWeshall，noblecaptain。
ExeuntLordsPAROLLESMarsdoteonyouforhisnovices!whatwillyedo？BERTRAMStay：theking。
Re—enterKING。BERTRAMandPAROLLESretirePAROLLES[ToBERTRAM]Useamorespaciousceremonytothenoblelords；youhaverestrainedyourselfwithinthelistoftoocoldanadieu：bemoreexpressivetothem：fortheywearthemselvesinthecapofthetime，theredomustertruegait，eat，speak，andmoveundertheinfluenceofthemostreceivedstar；
andthoughthedevilleadthemeasure，sucharetobefollowed：afterthem，andtakeamoredilatedfarewell。BERTRAMAndIwilldoso。PAROLLESWorthyfellows；andliketoprovemostsinewysword—men。
ExeuntBERTRAMandPAROLLES
EnterLAFEULAFEU[Kneeling]Pardon，mylord，formeandformytidings。KINGI’llfeetheetostandup。LAFEUThenhere’samanstands，thathasbroughthispardon。
Iwouldyouhadkneel’d，mylord，toaskmemercy，Andthatatmybiddingyoucouldsostandup。KINGIwouldIhad；soIhadbrokethypate，Andask’dtheemercyfor’t。LAFEUGoodfaith，across：but，mygoodlord’tisthus；
Willyoubecuredofyourinfirmity？KINGNo。LAFEUO，willyoueatnograpes，myroyalfox？
Yes，butyouwillmynoblegrapes，anifMyroyalfoxcouldreachthem：IhaveseenamedicineThat’sabletobreathelifeintoastone，Quickenarock，andmakeyoudancecanaryWithspritelyfireandmotion；whosesimpletouch，IspowerfultoaraiseKingPepin，nay，TogivegreatCharlemainapenin’shand，Andwritetoheralove—line。KINGWhat’her’isthis？LAFEUWhy，DoctorShe：mylord，there’sonearrived，Ifyouwillseeher：now，bymyfaithandhonour，IfseriouslyImayconveymythoughtsInthismylightdeliverance，IhavespokeWithonethat，inhersex，heryears，profession，Wisdomandconstancy，hathamazedmemoreThanIdareblamemyweakness：willyouseeherForthatisherdemand，andknowherbusiness？
Thatdone，laughwellatme。KINGNow，goodLafeu，Bringintheadmiration；thatwewiththeeMayspendourwondertoo，ortakeoffthineBywonderinghowthoutook’stit。LAFEUNay，I’llfityou，Andnotbealldayneither。
ExitKINGThushehisspecialnothingeverprologues。
Re—enterLAFEU，withHELENALAFEUNay，comeyourways。KINGThishastehathwingsindeed。LAFEUNay，comeyourways：
Thisishismajesty；sayyourmindtohim：
Atraitoryoudolooklike；butsuchtraitorsHismajestyseldomfears：IamCressid’suncle，Thatdareleavetwotogether；fareyouwell。
ExitKINGNow，fairone，doesyourbusinessfollowus？HELENAAy，mygoodlord。
GerarddeNarbonwasmyfather；
Inwhathedidprofess，wellfound。KINGIknewhim。HELENATheratherwillIsparemypraisestowardshim：
Knowinghimisenough。On’sbedofdeathManyreceiptshegaveme：chieflyone。
Which，asthedearestissueofhispractise，Andofhisoldexperiencetheoilydarling，Hebademestoreup，asatripleeye，Saferthanmineowntwo，moredear；Ihaveso；
Andhearingyourhighmajestyistouch’dWiththatmalignantcausewhereinthehonourOfmydearfather’sgiftstandschiefinpower，IcometotenderitandmyapplianceWithallboundhumbleness。KINGWethankyou，maiden；
Butmaynotbesocredulousofcure，WhenourmostlearneddoctorsleaveusandThecongregatedcollegehaveconcludedThatlabouringartcanneverransomnatureFromherinaidibleestate；IsaywemustnotSostainourjudgment，orcorruptourhope，Toprostituteourpast—curemaladyToempirics，ortodisseversoOurgreatselfandourcredit，toesteemAsenselesshelpwhenhelppastsensewedeem。HELENAMydutythenshallpaymeformypains：
Iwillnomoreenforcemineofficeonyou。
HumblyentreatingfromyourroyalthoughtsAmodestone，tobearmebackaagain。KINGIcannotgivetheeless，tobecall’dgrateful：
Thouthought’sttohelpme；andsuchthanksI
giveAsoneneardeathtothosethatwishhimlive：
ButwhatatfullIknow，thouknow’stnopart，Iknowingallmyperil，thounoart。HELENAWhatIcandocandonohurttotry，Sinceyousetupyourrest’gainstremedy。
HethatofgreatestworksisfinisherOftdoesthembytheweakestminister：
Soholywritinbabeshathjudgmentshown，Whenjudgeshavebeenbabes；greatfloodshaveflownFromsimplesources，andgreatseashavedriedWhenmiracleshavebythegreatestbeendenied。
OftexpectationfailsandmostoftthereWheremostitpromises，andoftithitsWherehopeiscoldestanddespairmostfits。KINGImustnothearthee；faretheewell，kindmaid；
Thypainsnotusedmustbythyselfbepaid：
Proffersnottookreapthanksfortheirreward。HELENAInspiredmeritsobybreathisbarr’d：
ItisnotsowithHimthatallthingsknowsAs’tiswithusthatsquareourguessbyshows；
ButmostitispresumptioninuswhenThehelpofheavenwecounttheactofmen。
Dearsir，tomyendeavoursgiveconsent；
Ofheaven，notme，makeanexperiment。
IamnotanimpostorthatproclaimMyselfagainstthelevelofmineaim；
ButknowIthinkandthinkIknowmostsureMyartisnotpastpowernoryoupastcure。KINGArethousoconfident？withinwhatspaceHopestthoumycure？HELENAThegreat’stgracelendinggraceEretwicethehorsesofthesunshallbringTheirfierytorcherhisdiurnalring，EretwiceinmurkandoccidentaldampMoistHesperushathquench’dhissleepylamp，Orfourandtwentytimesthepilot’sglassHathtoldthethievishminuteshowtheypass，Whatisinfirmfromyoursoundpartsshallfly，Healthshalllivefreeandsicknessfreelydie。KINGUponthycertaintyandconfidenceWhatdarestthouventure？HELENATaxofimpudence，Astrumpet’sboldness，adivulgedshameTraducedbyodiousballads：mymaiden’snameSear’dotherwise；nay，worse——ifworse——extendedWithvilesttortureletmylifebeended。KINGMethinksintheesomeblessedspiritdothspeakHispowerfulsoundwithinanorganweak：
AndwhatimpossibilitywouldslayIncommonsense，sensesavesanotherway。
Thylifeisdear；forallthatlifecanrateWorthnameoflifeintheehathestimate，Youth，beauty，wisdom，courage，allThathappinessandprimecanhappycall：
ThouthistohazardneedsmustintimateSkillinfiniteormonstrousdesperate。
Sweetpractiser，thyphysicIwilltry，ThatministersthineowndeathifIdie。HELENAIfIbreaktime，orflinchinpropertyOfwhatIspoke，unpitiedletmedie，Andwelldeserved：nothelping，death’smyfee；
But，ifIhelp，whatdoyoupromiseme？KINGMakethydemand。HELENAButwillyoumakeiteven？KINGAy，bymysceptreandmyhopesofheaven。HELENAThenshaltthougivemewiththykinglyhandWhathusbandinthypowerIwillcommand：
ExemptedbefrommethearroganceTochoosefromforththeroyalbloodofFrance，MylowandhumblenametopropagateWithanybranchorimageofthystate；
Butsuchaone，thyvassal，whomIknowIsfreeformetoask，theetobestow。KINGHereismyhand；thepremisesobserved，Thywillbymyperformanceshallbeserved：
Somakethechoiceofthyowntime，forI，Thyresolvedpatient，ontheestillrely。
MoreshouldIquestionthee，andmoreImust，Thoughmoretoknowcouldnotbemoretotrust，Fromwhencethoucamest，howtendedon：butrestUnquestion’dwelcomeandundoubtedblest。
Givemesomehelphere，ho!IfthouproceedAshighasword，mydeedshallmatchthymeed。
Flourish。ExeuntSCENEII。Rousillon。TheCOUNT’spalace。EnterCOUNTESSandClownCOUNTESSComeon，sir；Ishallnowputyoutotheheightofyourbreeding。ClownIwillshowmyselfhighlyfedandlowlytaught：I
knowmybusinessisbuttothecourt。COUNTESSTothecourt!why，whatplacemakeyouspecial，whenyouputoffthatwithsuchcontempt？Buttothecourt!ClownTruly，madam，ifGodhavelentamananymanners，hemayeasilyputitoffatcourt：hethatcannotmakealeg，putoff’scap，kisshishandandsaynothing，hasneitherleg，hands，lip，norcap；andindeedsuchafellow，tosayprecisely，werenotforthecourt；butforme，Ihaveananswerwillserveallmen。COUNTESSMarry，that’sabountifulanswerthatfitsallquestions。ClownItislikeabarber’schairthatfitsallbuttocks，thepin—buttock，thequatch—buttock，thebrawnbuttock，oranybuttock。COUNTESSWillyouranswerservefittoallquestions？ClownAsfitastengroatsisforthehandofanattorney，asyourFrenchcrownforyourtaffetapunk，asTib’srushforTom’sforefinger，asapancakeforShroveTuesday，amorrisforMay—day，asthenailtohishole，thecuckoldtohishorn，asascoldingqueentoawranglingknave，asthenun’sliptothefriar’smouth，nay，asthepuddingtohisskin。COUNTESSHaveyou，Isay，ananswerofsuchfitnessforallquestions？ClownFrombelowyourduketobeneathyourconstable，itwillfitanyquestion。COUNTESSItmustbeananswerofmostmonstroussizethatmustfitalldemands。ClownButatrifleneither，ingoodfaith，ifthelearnedshouldspeaktruthofit：hereitis，andallthatbelongsto’t。AskmeifIamacourtier：itshalldoyounoharmtolearn。COUNTESSTobeyoungagain，ifwecould：Iwillbeafoolinquestion，hopingtobethewiserbyyouranswer。
I
prayyou，sir，areyouacourtier？ClownOLord，sir!There’sasimpleputtingoff。More，more，ahundredofthem。COUNTESSSir，Iamapoorfriendofyours，thatlovesyou。ClownOLord，sir!Thick，thick，sparenotme。COUNTESSIthink，sir，youcaneatnoneofthishomelymeat。ClownOLord，sir!Nay，putmeto’t，Iwarrantyou。COUNTESSYouwerelatelywhipped，sir，asIthink。ClownOLord，sir!sparenotme。COUNTESSDoyoucry，’OLord，sir!’atyourwhipping，and’sparenotme？’Indeedyour’OLord，sir!’isverysequenttoyourwhipping：youwouldanswerverywelltoawhipping，ifyouwerebutboundto’t。ClownIne’erhadworseluckinmylifeinmy’OLord，sir!’Iseethingsmayservelong，butnotserveever。COUNTESSIplaythenoblehousewifewiththetimeToentertain’tsomerrilywithafool。ClownOLord，sir!why，there’tserveswellagain。COUNTESSAnend，sir；toyourbusiness。GiveHelenthis，Andurgehertoapresentanswerback：
Commendmetomykinsmenandmyson：
Thisisnotmuch。ClownNotmuchcommendationtothem。COUNTESSNotmuchemploymentforyou：youunderstandme？ClownMostfruitfully：Iamtherebeforemylegs。COUNTESSHasteyouagain。
ExeuntseverallySCENEIII。Paris。TheKING’spalace。EnterBERTRAM，LAFEU，andPAROLLESLAFEUTheysaymiraclesarepast；andwehaveourphilosophicalpersons，tomakemodernandfamiliar，thingssupernaturalandcauseless。Henceisitthatwemaketriflesofterrors，ensconcingourselvesintoseemingknowledge，whenweshouldsubmitourselvestoanunknownfear。PAROLLESWhy，’tistherarestargumentofwonderthathathshotoutinourlattertimes。BERTRAMAndso’tis。LAFEUToberelinquish’doftheartists，——PAROLLESSoIsay。LAFEUBothofGalenandParacelsus。PAROLLESSoIsay。LAFEUOfallthelearnedandauthenticfellows，——PAROLLESRight；soIsay。LAFEUThatgavehimoutincurable，——PAROLLESWhy，there’tis；sosayItoo。LAFEUNottobehelped，——PAROLLESRight；as’twere，amanassuredofa——LAFEUUncertainlife，andsuredeath。PAROLLESJust，yousaywell；sowouldIhavesaid。LAFEUImaytrulysay，itisanoveltytotheworld。PAROLLESItis，indeed：ifyouwillhaveitinshowing，youshallreaditin——whatdoyoucallthere？LAFEUAshowingofaheavenlyeffectinanearthlyactor。PAROLLESThat’sit；Iwouldhavesaidtheverysame。LAFEUWhy，yourdolphinisnotlustier：’foreme，Ispeakinrespect——PAROLLESNay，’tisstrange，’tisverystrange，thatisthebriefandthetediousofit；andhe’sofamostfacineriousspiritthatwillnotacknowledgeittobethe——LAFEUVeryhandofheaven。PAROLLESAy，soIsay。LAFEUInamostweak——
pausinganddebileminister，greatpower，greattranscendence：whichshould，indeed，giveusafurtherusetobemadethanalonetherecoveryoftheking，astobe——
pausinggenerallythankful。PAROLLESIwouldhavesaidit；yousaywell。Herecomestheking。
EnterKING，HELENA，andAttendants。LAFEUandPAROLLESretireLAFEULustig，astheDutchmansays：I’lllikeamaidthebetter，whilstIhaveatoothinmyhead：why，he’sabletoleadheracoranto。PAROLLESMortduvinaigre!isnotthisHelen？LAFEU’ForeGod，Ithinkso。KINGGo，callbeforemeallthelordsincourt。
Sit，mypreserver，bythypatient’sside；
Andwiththishealthfulhand，whosebanish’dsenseThouhastrepeal’d，asecondtimereceiveTheconfirmationofmypromisedgift，Whichbutattendsthynaming。
EnterthreeorfourLordsFairmaid，sendforththineeye：thisyouthfulparcelOfnoblebachelorsstandatmybestowing，O’erwhombothsovereignpowerandfather’svoiceIhavetouse：thyfrankelectionmake；
Thouhastpowertochoose，andtheynonetoforsake。HELENAToeachofyouonefairandvirtuousmistressFall，whenLoveplease!marry，toeach，butone!LAFEUI’ldgivebayCurtalandhisfurniture，Mymouthnomorewerebrokenthantheseboys’，Andwritaslittlebeard。KINGPerusethemwell：
Notoneofthosebuthadanoblefather。HELENAGentlemen，Heavenhaththroughmerestoredthekingtohealth。AllWeunderstandit，andthankheavenforyou。HELENAIamasimplemaid，andthereinwealthiest，ThatIprotestIsimplyamamaid。