ACTI
OntheheightsoverlookingtheharborofMogador，aseaportonthewestcoastofMorocco，themissionary，inthecoolnessofthelateafternoon，isfollowingthepreceptofVoltairebycultivatinghisgarden。HeisanelderlyScotchman，spirituallyalittleweatherbeaten，ashavingtonavigatehiscreedinstrangewaterscrowdedwithothercraftbutstillaconvincedsonoftheFreeChurchandtheNorthAfricanMission，withafaithfulbrowneye，andapeacefulsoul。Physicallyawirysmall—knitman，welltanned，cleanshaven，withdelicateresolutefeaturesandatwinkleofmildhumor。Hewearsthesunhelmetandpagri，theneutral—tintedspectacles，andthewhitecanvasSpanishsandshoesofthemodernScotchmissionary：butinsteadofacheaptourist’ssuitfromGlasgow，agreyflannelshirtwithwhitecollar，agreensailorknottiewithacheappininit，hewearsasuitofcleanwhitelinen，acceptableincolor，ifnotincut，totheMoorishmind。
TheviewfromthegardenincludesmuchAtlanticOceanandalongstretchofsandycoasttothesouth，sweptbythenortheasttradewind，andscantilynourishingafewstuntedpeppertrees，mangypalms，andtamarisks。Theprospectends，asfarasthelandisconcerned，inlittlehillsthatcomenearlytothesea：
rudiments，these，oftheAtlasMountains。Themissionary，havinghaddailyopportunitiesoflookingatthisseascapeforthirtyyearsorso，paysnoheedtoit，beingabsorbedintrimmingahugeredgeraniumbush，toEnglisheyesunnaturallybig，which，withadustysmilaxortwo，isthesoleproductofhispetflower—bed。HeissittingtohisworkonaMoorishstool。Inthemiddleofthegardenthereisapleasantseatintheshadeofatamarisktree。Thehouseisinthesouthwestcornerofthegarden，andthegeraniumbushinthenortheastcorner。
Atthegarden—doorofthehousethereappearspresentlyamanwhoisclearlynobarbarian，beinginfactalessagreeableproductpeculiartomoderncommercialcivilization。Hisframeandflesharethoseofanill—nourishedladofseventeen；buthisageisinscrutable：onlytheabsenceofanysignofgreyinhismudcoloredhairsuggeststhatheisatalleventsprobablyunderforty，withoutprejudicetothepossibilityofhisbeingundertwenty。ALondonerwouldrecognizehimatonceasanextremebuthardyspecimenoftheabortionproducedbynatureinacityslum。
Hisutterance，affectedlypumpedandhearty，andnaturallyvulgarandnasal，isreadyandfluent：nature，aBoardSchooleducation，andsomekerbstonepracticehavingmadehimabitofanorator。
Hisdialect，apartfromitsbasenasaldelivery，isnotunlikethatofsmartLondonsocietyinitstendencytoreplacediphthongsbyvowels（sometimesratherprettily）andtoshuffleallthetraditionalvowelpronunciations。Hepronouncesowasah，andiasaw，usingtheordinaryowforo，ifora，aforu，andefora，withthisreservation，thatwhenanyvowelisfollowedbyanrhesignifiesitspresence，notbypronouncingther，whichheneverdoesunderthesecircumstances，butbyprolongingandmodifyinqthevowel，sometimeseventotheextremedegreeofpronouncingitproperly。Astohisyolforl（acompendiousdeliveryoftheprovincialeh—al），andothermetropolitanrefinements，amazingtoallbutcockneys，theycannotbeindicated，saveintheaboveimperfectmanner，withouttheaidofaphoneticalphabet。Heisdressedinsomebodyelse’sverysecondbestasacoast—guardsman，andgiveshimselftheairsofastagetarwithsufficientsuccesstopassasapossiblefishporterofbadcharacterincasualemploymentduringbusytimesatBillingsgate。Hismannershowsanearnestdispositiontoingratiatehimselfwiththemissionary，probablyforsomedishonestpurpose。
THEMAN。Awtenoon，Mr。Renkin。（Themissionarysitsupquickly，andturns，resigninghimselfdutifullytotheinterruption。）Yrhonor’seolth。
RANKIN（reservedly）。Goodafternoon，Mr。Drinkwotter。
DRINKWATER。You’renotbestpleasedtobehinterruptedinyrbitogawdninbowthelawkome，gavner。
RANKIN。Amissionaryknowsnothingofleksofthatsoart，orofdislekseither，Mr。Drinkwotter。WhatcanIdoforye？
DRINKWATER（heartily）。Nathink，gavner。Awvebrortnoosferyer。
RANKIN。Well，sityedoon。
DRINKWATER。Awthenkyrhonor。（Hesitsdownontheseatunderthetreeandcomposeshimselfforconversation。）HeverearoJadgeEllam？
RANKIN。SirHowrrdHallam？
DRINKWATER。Thet’sim—enginestjadgeinHingland!——awlusgivestheketwenit’srobbrywithvoylence，blessisawt。Awsynathinkaginim：awmallferlormawseolf，AWem。
RANKIN。Well？
DRINKWATER。Heverearofissist—in—lor：LidySislyWinefleet？
RANKIN。DoyemeanthecelebratedLeddy——thetraveller？
DRINKWATER。Yuss：shouldthinkawdoo。WalkedacrostHarfricarwithnathinkbutalittledawg，andwrowtabahtitintheDilyMile（theDailyMail，apopularLondonnewspaper），shedid。
RANKIN。IssheSirHowrrdHallam’ssister—in—law？
DRINKWATER。Deeceasedwawfe’ssister：yuss：thet’swotSHEis。
RANKIN。Well，whataboutthem？
DRINKWATER。Wotabahtthem!Waw，they’reEAH。LannidahtofasteamyachtinMogadorawbernottwentyminnitsagow。GorntotheBritishcornsl’s。E’llsendemorntoyou：eyntgotnaowherestoputem。Soremawr（hire）aHarabantwoKrooboystokerrytheirlaggige。Thortawdcamanteollyer。
RANKIN。Thankyou。It’sverrakindofyou，Mr。Drinkwotter。
DRINKWATER。Down’tmentionit，gavner。Lorblessyer，wawn’tityouasconvertedme？Wotwasawwenawcameahbutaporelorstsinner？Down’tawowy’aturnferthet？Besawds，gavner，thisLidySislyWinefleetmawtwor’ttotikeawalkcrostMorocker——arawdinterthemahntnsorsechlawk。Weoll，asyouknaow，gavner，thetcawn’tbedoneeahwithahtahescort。
RANKIN。It’simpoassible：th’wouldoallb’murrdered。MoroccoisnotlektherestofAfrica。
DRINKWATER。No，gavner：theseeahMoorseztheirreligion；anitmikesemdinegerous。HeverconvertaMoor，gavner？
RANKIN（witharuefulsmile）。No。
DRINKWATER（solemnly）。Norneverwill，gavner。
RANKIN。Ihavebeenatworkherefortwenty—fiveyears，Mr。
Drinkwotter；andyouaremyfirstandonlyconvert。
DRINKWATER。Down’tseemnaowgood，doit，gavner？
RANKIN。Idon’tsaythat。IhopeIhavedonesomegood。Theycometomeformedicinewhentheyareill；andtheycallmetheChristianwhoisnotathief。THATissomething。
DRINKWATER。TheirmawndskennotrawsetoChristiennitylawkhahrsken，gavner：thet’sahitis。Weoll，ezhawwassyin，ifahescortiswornted，there’smawfriendandcommawnderKepnBrarsbahndoftheschoonerThenksgivin，aniscrew，incloodinmawseolf，willseethelidyanJadgeEllamthroughhennylittleexcursioninreason。Yrhonormawtmentionit。
RANKIN。Iwillcertainlynotproposeanythingsodangerousasanexcursion。
DRINKWATER（virtuously）。Naow，gavner，norwouldIawstyouto。
（Shakinghishead。）Naow，naow：itISdinegerous。Buthallthemorecallforahescortiftheyshouldevithintheirmawndstogow。
RANKIN。Ihopetheywon’t。
DRINKWATER。Ansowawdotoo，gavner。
RANKIN（pondering）。’TisstrangethattheyshouldcometoMogador，ofallplaces；andtomyhouse!IoncemetSirHowrrdHallam，yearsago。
DRINKWATER（amazed）。Naow!didger？Thinkothet，gavner!Waw，sowawdidtoo。Butitwereamisunnerstedin，thetwors。Lefthecourtwithahtastineonmawkerrickter，awdid。
RANKIN（withsomeindignation）。Ihopeyoudon’tthinkImetSirHowrrdinthatway。
DRINKWATER。Mawtyeppntothehonestest，bestmeaninpusson，awdoassureyer，gavner。
RANKIN。IwouldhaveyoutoknowthatImethimprivately，Mr。
Drinkwotter。Hisbrotherwasadearfriendofmine。Yearsago。HewentouttotheWestIndies。
DRINKWATER。TheWustHindies!Jistacrostthere，tathersawdthethowcean（pointingseaward）!Dearme!Wecamshinwithvennity，anwedeepawtsindawkness。Down’twe，gavner？
RANKIN（prickinguphisears）。Eh？HaveyoubeenreadingthatlittlebookIgaveyou？
DRINKWATER。Awhev，etoddtawms。Verycamfitn，gavner。（Herises，apprehensivelestfurthercatechismshouldfindhimunprepared。）Awllsygoodawtenoon，gavner：you’rebusyhexpectinoSrAhrdanLidySisly，yntyer？（Abouttogo。）
RANKIN（stoppinghim）。No，stop：we’reoalwaysreadyfortravellershere。Ihavesomethingelsetosay——aquestiontoaskyou。
DRINKWATR（withamisgiving，whichhemasksbyexaggeratinghisheartysailormanner）。Anweollcome，yrhonor。
RANKIN。WhoisthisCaptainBrassbound？
DRINKWATER（guiltily）。KepnBrarsbahnd!E’s—weoll，e’smawKepn，gavner。
RANKIN。Yes。Well？
DRINKWATER（feebly）。KepnoftheschoonerThenksgivin，gavner。
RANKIN（searchingly）。HaveyeeverhairdofabadcharacterintheseseascalledBlackPaquito？
DRINKWATER（withasuddenradianceofcompleteenlightenment）。
Aoh，narawtikesyerwivme，yrhonor。NahsammunesbinateollnyouthetKepnBrarsbahndanBleckPakeetowishawdenticallythesimepussn。Yntthetsow？
RANKIN。Thatisso。（Drinkwaterslapshiskneetriumphantly。Themissionaryproceedsdeterminedly）Andthesomeonewasaverrahonest，straightforwardman，asfarasIcouldjudge。
DRINKWATER（embracingtheimplication）。Courseawors，gavner：Evawsaidawordaginhim？Evawnah？
RANKIN。ButisCaptainBrassboundBlackPaquitothen？
DRINKWATER。Waw，it’sthenimeisblessedmathergiveimaterknee，blessislittleawt!Theryntnaowawminit。ShewareaWustHinjin——howverthereagin，yersee（pointingseaward）——
leastwaws，naowsheworn’t：shewereaBrazilian，awthink；anPakeetow’sBrazilianforabloominlittleperrit——awskinyrpawdnfortheword。（Sentimentally）LawkasaHinglishlidymawtcallerlittleboyBirdie。
RANKIN（notquiteconvinced）。ButwhyBLACKPaquito？
DRINKWATER（artlessly）。Waw，thebirdinitsnetralstitebeingreen，aneevinbleckair，y’knaow——
RANKIN（cuttinghimshort）。Isee。AndnowIwillputyeanotherquestion。WHATisCaptainBrassbound，orPaquito，orwhateverhecallshimself？
DRINKWATER（officiously）。Brarsbahnd，gavner。AwluscallsisseolfBrarsbahnd。
RANKIN。Well。Brassbound，then。Whatishe？
DRINKWATER（fervently）。Youawsksmewoteis，gavner？
RANKIN（firmly）。Ido。
DRINKWATFR（withrisingenthusiasm）。Anshllawteollyerwoteis，yrhonor？
RANKIN（notatallimpressed）。Ifyewillbesogood，Mr。
Drinkwotter。
DRINKWATER（withoverwhelmingconviction）。Thenawllteollyou，gavner，wotheis。Ee’saPaffickGenlmn：thet’swoteis。
RANKIN（gravely）。Mr。Drinkwotter：pairfectionisanattribute，notofWestCoastcaptains，butofthrMaaker。Andtherearegentlemenandgentlemenintheworld，espaeciallyintheselatitudes。Whichsortofgentlemanishe？
DRINKWATER。Hinglishgenlmn，gavner。Hinglishspeakin；Hinglishfawther；WestHinjinplawnter；Hinglishtruebluebreed。
（Reflectively）Techobrahnfromthemather，preps，shebeinBrazilian。
RANKIN。NowonyourfaithasaChristian，FelixDrinkwotter，isCaptainBrassboundaslaverornot？
DRINKWATER（surprisedintohisnaturalcockneypertness）。Naoweynt。
RANKIN。AreyeSURE？
DRINKWATER。Waw，asliverisabahtthewannethinginthewyofagenlmnofortntheteYNT。
RANKIN。I’vehairdthatexpression\"gentlemanoffortune\"before，Mr。Drinkwotter。Itmeanspirate。Doyeknowthat？
DRINKWATER。Blessy’rawt，y’cawntbeapawritnaradys。Waw，theawseasiswusspleestnorPiccadillySuckus。IfawwastodoornthetthereHetlenticHowceanthethingsawdidasabwoyintheWorterleooRowd，awdevmawaircataforeawcouldturnmawed。
Pawritbeblaowed!——awskinkyrpawdn，gavner。Nah，jesttoshaowyouahlittlethettherestriteforardmany’midementiononknaowedwotewasatorkinabaht：oowouldyouspowsewasthemarstertowichKepnBrarsbahndservedapprentice，asyrmawtsy？
RANKIN。Idon’tknow。
DRINKWATER。Gawdn，gavner，Gawdn。GawdnoKawtoom——stetcherstendsinTrifawlgrSquaretothisdy。TrinedBleckPakeetowinsmawshinhapthesliveriders，edid。PromistGawdnewouldn’tneversmaggleslivesnorgin，an（withsuppressedaggravation）
WOWN’T，gavner，notifwegowsdahnonahrbloominbendedkneestoimtodoit。
RANKIN（drily）。AndDOyegodownonyourbendedkneestohimtodoit？
DRINKWATER（somewhatabashed）。Someofhuzishanconvertedmen，gavner；antheysy：Yousmaggleswannething，Kepn；wawnothanather？
RANKIN。We’vecometoitatlast。Ithoughtso。CaptainBrassboundisasmuggler。
DRINKWATER。Weoll，wawnot？Wawnot，gavner？AhrsisaFreeTridenition。ItgowsaginusasHinglishmentoseethesebloominfurrinerssettinaptheirCastomsAhsesandspheresohinfluenceandsichlawkhallowverArfricar。Daown’tHarfricarbelongasmuchtohuzastothem？thet’swotwesy。Ennywys，thereyntnaowawminahrbusiness。Allwedazishescort，touristHOR
commercial。Cook’shexcursionstotheHatlasMahntns：thet’shallitis。Waw，it’sspreadincivlawzytion，itis。Yntitnah？
RANKIN。YouthinkCaptainBrassbound’screwsufficientlyequippedforthat，doyou？
DRINKWATER。Hee—quipped!Hawshouldthinksow。Lawtninrawfles，twelveshotsinthemeggezine!Oo’stostorpus？
RANKIN。Themostdangerouschieftainintheseparts，theSheikhSidielAssif，hasanewAmericanmachinepistolwhichfirestenbulletswithoutloadin；andhisriflehassixteenshotsinthemagazine。
DRINKWATER（indignantly）。Yuss；anthepeoplethatsellssichthingsintotheendso’themeathenbleckniggerscallstheirseolvesChristians!It’sacroolshime，sowitis。
RANKIN。Ifamanhasthehearttopullthetrigger，itmatterslittlewhatcolorhishandis，Mr。Drinkwotter。Haveyeanythingelsetosaytomethisafternoon？
DRINKWATER（rising）。Nathink，gavner，cepttowishyerthebustoyolth，andamanycornverts。Awtenoon，gavner。
RANKIN。Goodafternoontoye，Mr。Drinkwotter。
AsDrinkwaterturnstogo，aMoorishportercomesfromthehousewithtwoKrooboys。
THEPORTER（atthedoor，addressingRankin）。Bikouros（MoroccanforEpicurus，ageneralMoorishnameforthemissionaries，whoaresupposedbytheMoorstohavechosentheircallingthroughaloveofluxuriousidleness）：IhavebroughttoyourhouseaChristiandogandhiswoman。
DRINKWATER。There’seathenmennersferyer!CallsSrAhrdEllamanLidyWinefleetaChristiandorgandiswoman!IfeeedyouinthedorckettheCentlCrimnal，you’dfawndahtoowasthedorgandoowasismarster，prettyquick，youwould。
RANKIN。Haveyoubroattheirboxes？
THEPORTER。ByAllah，twocamelloads!
RANKIN。Haveyoubeenpaid？
THEPORTER。Onlyonemiserabledollar，Bikouros。Ihavebroughtthemtoyourhouse。Theywillpayyou。Givemesomethingforbringinggoldtoyourdoor。
DRINKWATER。Yah!YououghterbinbawnaChristian，youought。Youknaowtoomach。
RANKIN。Youhavebroatonnlytroubleandexpensetomydoor，Hassan；andyouknowit。HaveIeverchargedyourwifeandchildrenformymedicines？
HASSAN（philosophically）。ItisalwayspermittedbytheProphettoask，Bikouros。（HegoescheerfullyintothehousewiththeKrooboys。）
DRINKWATER。Jistthorteedtrahitorn，adid。Hoomannitreisthesimeeverywheres。Themeathensisjastlawkyouan’me，gavner。
Aladyandgentleman，bothEnglish，comeintothegarden。
Thegentleman，morethanelderly，isfacingoldageoncompulsion，notresignedly。Heiscleanshaven，andhasabrainyrectangularforehead，aresolutenosewithstronglygovernednostrils，andatightlyfasteneddownmouthwhichhasevidentlyshutinmuchtemperandangerinitstime。Hehasahabitofdeliberatelyassumedauthorityanddignity，butistryingtotakelifemoregeniallyandeasilyinhischaracteroftourist，whichisfurtherborneoutbyhiswhitehatandsummeryracecourseattire。
Theladyisbetweenthirtyandforty，tall，verygoodlooking，sympathetic，intelligent，tenderandhumorous，dressedwithcunningsimplicitynotasabusinesslike，tailormade，gaiteredtourist，butasifshelivedatthenextcottageandhaddroppedinforteainblouseandfloweredstrawhat。Awomanofgreatvitalityandhumanity，whobeginsacasualacquaintanceatthepointusuallyattainedbyEnglishpeopleafterthirtyyearsacquaintancewhentheyarecapableofreachingitatall。ShepouncesgeniallyonDrinkwater，whoissmirkingather，hatinhand，withanairofheartywelcome。Thegentleman，ontheotherhand，comesdownthesideofthegardennextthehouse，instinctivelymaintainingadistancebetweenhimselfandtheothers。
THELADY（toDrinkwater）。Howdyedo？Areyouthemissionary？
DRINKWATER（modestly）。Naow，lidy，awwillnotdeceiveyou，thowthemistikehisbutnetral。Awmwanneofthemissionary’sgoodworks，lidy——isfirstcornvert，aumbleBritishseaman——
countrymenoyours，lidy，andofislawdship’s。ThiseahisMr。
Renkin，thebustworkerinthewustcowstvawnyawd。（Introducingthejudge）Mr。Renkin：islawdshipSrAhrdEllam。（Hewithdrawsdiscreetlyintothehouse。）
SIRHOWARD（toRankin）。Iamsorrytointrudeonyou，Mr。Rankin；
butintheabsenceofahotelthereseemstobenoalternative。
LADYCICELY（beamingonhim）。Besides，wewouldsomuchRATHER
staywithyou，ifyouwillhaveus，Mr。Rankin。
SIRHOWARD（introducingher）。Mysister—in—law，LadyCicelyWaynflete，Mr。Rankin。
RANKIN。Iamgladtobeofservicetoyourleddyship。Youwillbewishingtohavesometeaafteryourjourney，I’mthinking。
LADYCICELY。Thoughtfulmanthatyouare，Mr。Rankin!Butwe’vehadsomealreadyonboardtheyacht。AndI’vearrangedeverythingwithyourservants；soyoumustgoongardeningjustasifwewerenothere。
SIRHOWARD。Iamsorrytohavetowarnyou，Mr。Rankin，thatLadyCicely，fromtravellinginAfrica，hasacquiredahabitofwalkingintopeople’shousesandbehavingasifshewereinherown。
LADYCICELY。But，mydearHoward，Iassureyouthenativeslikeit。
RANKIN（gallantly）。SodoI。
LADYCICELY（delighted）。Oh，thatissoniceofyou，Mr。Rankin。
Thisisadeliciouscountry!Andthepeopleseemsogood!Theyhavesuchnicefaces!WehadsuchahandsomeMoortocarryourluggageup!AndtwoperfectpetsofKrooboys!Didyounoticetheirfaces，Howard？
SIRHOWARD。Idid；andIcanconfidentlysay，afteralongexperienceoffacesoftheworsttypelookingatmefromthedock，thatIhaveneverseensoentirelyvillainousatrioasthatMoorandthetwoKrooboys，towhomyougavefivedollarswhentheywouldhavebeenperfectlysatisfiedwithone。
RANKIN（throwinguphishands）。Fivedollars!’TiseasytoseeyouarenotScotch，myleddy。
LADYCICELY。Oh，poorthings，theymustwantitmorethanwedo；
andyouknow，Howard，thatMahometansneverspendmoneyindrink。
RANKIN。Excusemeamoment，myleddy。IhaveawordinseasontosaytothatsameMoor。（Hegoesintothehouse。）
LADYCICELY（walkingaboutthegarden，lookingattheviewandattheflowers）。Ithinkthisisaperfectlyheavenlyplace。
Drinkwaterreturnsfromthehousewithachair。
DRINKWATER（placingthechairforSirHoward）。Awskinkyrpawdnforthelibbety，SrAhrd。
SIRHOWARD（lookingahim）。Ihaveseenyoubeforesomewhere。
DRINKWATER。Youev，SrAhrd。Butawdoassureyeritwerehallamistike。
SIRHOWARD。Asusual。（Hesitsdown。）Wrongfullyconvicted，ofcourse。
DRINKWATER（withslydelight）。Naow，gavner。（Halfwhispering，withanineffablegrin）Wrorngfullyhacquittid!
SIRHOWARD。Indeed!That’sthefirstcaseofthekindIhaveevermet。
DRINKWATER。Lawd，SrAhrd，wotjagginsesthemjurymenwas!Youanmeknaowedittoo，didn’twe？
SIRHOWARD。Idaresaywedid。IamsorrytosayIforgettheexactnatureofthedifficultyyouwerein。Canyourefreshmymemory？
DRINKWATER。Ownytheawsperritsoyouth，y’lawdship。WorterleooRowdkice。WottheycallsOoliganism。
SIRHOWARD。Oh!YouwereaHooligan，wereyou？
LADYCICELY（puzzled）。AHooligan!
DRINKWATER（deprecatingly）。NimegivhuzporethortlessledsbawagentontheDilyChrornicle，lidy。（Rankinreturns。Drinkwaterimmediatelywithdraws，stoppingthemissionaryforamomentnearthethresholdtosay，touchinghisforelock）Awllengabahtwithinile，gavner，hinkiceawshouldbewornted。（Hegoesintothehousewithsoftsteps。）
LadyCicelysitsdownonthebenchunderthetamarisk。Rankintakeshisstoolfromtheflowerbedandsitsdownonherleft，SirHowardbeingonherright。
LADYCICELY。Whatapleasantfaceyoursailorfriendhas，Mr。
Rankin!Hehasbeensofrankandtruthfulwithus。YouknowI
don’tthinkanybodycanpaymeagreatercomplimentthantobequitesincerewithmeatfirstsight。It’stheperfectionofnaturalgoodmanners。
SIRHOWARD。Youmustnotsuppose，Mr。Rankin，thatmysister—in—lawtalksnonsenseonpurpose。Shewillcontinuetobelieveinyourfrienduntilhestealsherwatch；andeventhenshewillfindexcusesforhim。
RANKIN（drilychangingthesubject）。Andhowhaveyebeen，SirHowrrd，sinceourlastmeetingthatmorningnighfortyyearagodownatthedocksinLondon？
SIRHOWARD（greatlysurprised，pullinghimselftogether）Ourlastmeeting!Mr。Rankin：haveIbeenunfortunateenoughtoforgetanoldacquaintance？
RANKIN。Well，perhapshardlyanacquaintance，SirHowrrd。ButI
wasaclosefriendofyourbrotherMiles：andwhenhesailedforBrazilIwasoneofthelittlepartythatsawhimoff。Youwereoneofthepartyalso，ifI’mnotmistaken。ItookparticularnoticeofyoubecauseyouwereMiles’sbrotherandIhadneverseenyebefore。Butyehadnocalltotakenoticeofme。
SIRHOWARD（reflecting）。Yes：therewasayoungfriendofmybrother’swhomightwellbeyou。Butthename，asIrecollectit，wasLeslie。
RANKIN。Thatwasme，sir。MynameisLeslieRankin；andyourbrotherandIwerealwaysMilesandLeslietooneanother。
SIRHOWARD（pluminghimselfalittle）。Ah!thatexplainsit。I
cantrustmymemorystill，Mr。Rankin；thoughsomepeopledocomplainthatIamgrowingold。
RANKIN。AndwheremayMilesbenow，SirHoward？
SIRHOWARD（abruptly）。Don’tyouknowthatheisdead？
RANKIN（muchshocked）。Neverhairdofit。Dear，dear：Ishallneverseehimagain；andIcanscarcelybringhisfacetomindafteralltheseyears。（Withmoisteningeyes，whichatoncetouchLadyCicely’ssympathy）I’mrightsorry——rightsorry。
SIRHOWARD（decorouslysubduinghisvoice）。Yes：hedidnotlivelong：indeed，henevercamebacktoEngland。ItmustbenearlythirtyyearsagonowthathediedintheWestIndiesonhispropertythere。
RANKIN（surprised）。Hisproaperty!Mileswithaproaperty!
SIRHOWARD。Yes：hebecameaplanter，anddidwelloutthere，Mr。
Rankin。Thehistoryofthatpropertyisaverycuriousandinterestingone——atleastitissotoalawyerlikemyself。
RANKIN。IshouldbegladtohearitforMiles’ssake，thoughIamnolawyer，SirHowrrd。
LADYCICELY。Ineverknewyouhadabrother，Howard。
SIRHOWARD（notpleasedbythisremark）。Perhapsbecauseyouneveraskedme。（TurningmoreblandlytoRankin）Iwilltellyouthestory，Mr。Rankin。WhenMilesdied，heleftanestateinoneoftheWestIndianislands。Itwasinchargeofanagentwhowasasharpishfellow，withallhiswitsabouthim。Now，sir，thatmandidathingwhichprobablycouldhardlybedonewithimpunityevenhereinMorocco，underthemostbarbarousofsurvivingcivilizations。Hequitesimplytooktheestateforhimselfandkeptit。
RANKIN。Buthowaboutthelaw？
SIRHOWARD。Thelaw，sir，inthatisland，consistedpracticallyoftheAttorneyGeneralandtheSolicitorGeneral；andthesegentlemenwerebothretainedbytheagent。Consequentlytherewasnosolicitorintheislandtotakeupthecaseagainsthim。
RANKIN。Issuchathingpossibleto—dayintheBritishEmpire？
SIRHOWARD（calmly）。Oh，quite。Quite。
LADYCICELY。ButcouldnotafirstratesolicitorhavebeensentoutfromLondon？
SIRHOWARD。Nodoubt，bypayinghimenoughtocompensatehimforgivinguphisLondonpractice：thatis，rathermorethantherewasanyreasonablelikelihoodoftheestateprovingworth。
RANKIN。Thentheestatewaslost？
SIRHOWARD。Notpermanently。Itisinmyhandsatpresent。
RANKIN。Thenhowdidyegetitback？
SIRHOWARD（withcraftyenjoymentofhisowncunning）。Byhoistingtheroguewithhisownpetard。Ihadtoleavemattersastheywereformanyyears；forIhadmyownpositionintheworldtomake。ButatlastImadeit。InthecourseofaholidaytriptotheWestIndies，Ifoundthatthisdishonestagenthadlefttheisland，andplacedtheestateinthehandsofanagentofhisown，whomhewasfoolishenoughtopayverybadly。Iputthecasebeforethatagent；andhedecidedtotreattheestateasmyproperty。Therobbernowfoundhimselfinexactlythesamepositionhehadformerlyforcedmeinto。Nobodyintheislandwouldactagainstme，leastofalltheAttorneyandSolicitorGeneral，whoappreciatedmyinfluenceattheColonialOffice。AndsoIgottheestateback。\"Themillsofthegodsgrindslowly，\"
Mr。Rankin；\"buttheygrindexceedingsmall。\"
LADYCICELY。NowIsupposeifI’ddonesuchacleverthinginEngland，you’dhavesentmetoprison。
SIRHOWARD。Probably，unlessyouhadtakencaretokeepoutsidethelawagainstconspiracy。Wheneveryouwishtodoanythingagainstthelaw，Cicely，alwaysconsultagoodsolicitorfirst。
LADYCICELY。SoIdo。Butsupposeyouragenttakesitintohisheadtogivetheestatebacktohiswickedoldemployer!
SIRHOWARD。Iheartilywishhewould。
RANKIN（openeyed）。YouwishheWOULD!!
SIRHOWARD。Yes。AfewyearsagothecollapseoftheWestIndiansugarindustryconvertedtheincomeoftheestateintoanannuallossofabout150poundsayear。IfIcan’tsellitsoon，Ishallsimplyabandonit——unlessyou，Mr。Rankin，wouldliketotakeitasapresent。
RANKIN（laughing）。Ithankyourlordship：wehaveestatesenoughofthatsortinScotland。You’resettingwithyourbacktothesun，LeddyCeecily，andlosingsomethingworthlookingat。Seethere。（Herisesandpointsseaward，wheretherapidtwilightofthelatitudehasbegun。）
LADYCICELY（gettinguptolookandutteringacryofadmiration）。Oh，howlovely!
SIRHOWARD（alsorising）。Whatarethosehillsovertheretothesoutheast？
RANKIN。Theyaretheoutposts，sotospeak，oftheAtlasMountains。
LADYCICELY。TheAtlasMountains!WhereShelley’switchlived!
We’llmakeanexcursiontothemto—morrow，Howard。
RANKIN。That’simpoassible，myleddy。Thenativesareverradangerous。
LADYCICELY。Why？Hasanyexplorerbeenshootingthem？
RANKIN。No。Buteverymanofthembelieveshewillgotoheavenifhekillsanunbeliever。
LADYCICELY。Blessyou，dearMr。Rankin，thepeopleinEnglandbelievethattheywillgotoheaveniftheygivealltheirpropertytothepoor。Buttheydon’tdoit。I’mnotabitafraidofthat。
RANKIN。Buttheyarenotaccustomedtoseewomengoingaboutunveiled。
LADYCICELY。Ialwaysgetonbestwithpeoplewhentheycanseemyface。
SIRHOWARD。Cicely：youaretalkinggreatnonsenseandyouknowit。Thesepeoplehavenolawstorestrainthem，whichmeans，inplainEnglish，thattheyarehabitualthievesandmurderers。
RANKIN。Nay，nay：notexactlythat，LADYCICELY（indignantly）。Ofcoursenot。Youalwaysthink，Howard，thatnothingpreventspeoplekillingeachotherbutthefearofyourhangingthemforit。Butwhatnonsensethatis!Andhowwicked!Ifthesepeopleweren’thereforsomegoodpurpose，theywouldn’thavebeenmade，wouldthey，Mr。Rankin？
RANKIN。Thatisapoint，certainly，LeddyCeecily。
SIRHOWARD。Oh，ifyouaregoingtotalktheology——
LADYCICELY。Well，whynot？theologyisasrespectableaslaw，I
shouldthink。Besides，I’monlytalkingcommonsense。Whydopeoplegetkilledbysavages？Becauseinsteadofbeingpolitetothem，andsayingHowdyedo？likeme，peopleaimpistolsatthem。
I’vebeenamongsavages——cannibalsandallsorts。Everybodysaidthey’dkillme。ButwhenImetthem，IsaidHowdyedo？andtheywerequitenice。Thekingsalwayswantedtomarryme。
SIRHOWARD。Thatdoesnotseemtometomakeyouanysaferhere，Cicely。Youshallcertainlynotstirastepbeyondtheprotectionoftheconsul，ifIcanhelpit，withoutastrongescort。
LADYCICELY。Idon’twantanescort。
SIRHOWARD。Ido。AndIsupposeyouwillexpectmetoaccompanyyou。
RANKIN。’Tisnotsafe，LeddyCeecily。Reallyandtruly，’tisnotsafe。Thetribesareverrafierce；andtherearecitiesherethatnoChristianhaseversetfootin。Ifyougowithoutbeingwellprotected，thefirstchiefyoumeetwellseizeyouandsendyoubackagaintopreventhisfollowersmurderingyou。
LADYCICELY。Oh，howniceofhim，Mr。Rankin!
RANKIN。Hewouldnotdoitforyoursake，LeddyCeecily，butforhisown。TheSultanwouldgetintotroublewithEnglandifyouwerekilled；andtheSultanwouldkillthechieftopacifytheEnglishgovernment。
LADYCICELY。ButIalwaysgoeverywhere。IKNOWthepeopleherewon’ttouchme。Theyhavesuchnicefacesandsuchprettyscenery。
SIRHOWARD（toRankin，sittingdownagainresignedly）。Youcanimaginehowmuchusethereisintalkingtoawomanwhoadmiresthefacesoftheruffianswhoinfesttheseports，Mr。Rankin。Cananythingbedoneinthewayofanescort？
RANKIN。ThereisacertainCaptainBrassboundherewhotradesalongthecoast，andoccasionallyescortspartiesofmerchantsonjourneysintotheinterior。IunderstandthatheservedunderGordonintheSoudan。
SIRHOWARD。Thatsoundspromising。ButIshouldliketoknowalittlemoreabouthimbeforeItrustmyselfinhishands。
RANKIN。Iquiteagreewithyou，SirHowrrd。I’llsendFelixDrinkwotterforhim。（Heclapshishands。AnArabboyappearsatthehousedoor。）Muley：issailormanhere？（Muleynods。）Tellsailormanbringcaptain。（Muleynodsandgoes。）
SIRHOWARD。WhoisDrinkwater？
RANKIN。Hisagent，ormate：Idon’trightlyknowwhich。
LADYCICELY。Oh，ifhehasamatenamedFelixDrinkwater，itmustbequitearespectablecrew。Itissuchanicename。
RANKIN。Yousawhimherejustnow。Heisaconvertofmine。
LADYCICELY（delighted）。Thatnicetruthfulsailor!
SIRHOWARD（horrified）。What!TheHooligan!
RANKIN（puzzled）。Hooligan？No，mylord：heisanEnglishman。
SIRHOWARD。MydearMr。Rankin，thismanwastriedbeforemeonachargeofstreetruffianism。
RANKIN。Sohetoldme。Hewasbadlybroatup，Iamafraid。Butheisnowaconvertedman。
LADYCICELY。Ofcourseheis。Histellingyousofranklyprovesit。Youknow，really，Howard，allthosepoorpeoplewhomyoutryaremoresinnedagainstthansinning。Ifyouwouldonlytalktotheminafriendlywayinsteadofpassingcruelsentencesonthem，youwouldfindthemquitenicetoyou。（Indignantly）I
won’thavethispoormantrampledonmerelybecausehismotherbroughthimupasaHooligan。Iamsurenobodycouldbenicerthanhewaswhenhespoketous。
SIRHOWARD。Inshort，wearetohaveanescortofHooliganscommandedbyafilibuster。Verywell，verywell。Youwillmostlikelyadmirealltheirfaces；andIhavenodoubtatallthattheywilladmireyours。
DrinkwatercomesfromthehousewithanItaliandressedinamuchwornsuitofblueserge，adilapidatedAlpinehat，andbootslacedwithscrapsoftwine。Heremainsnearthedoor，whilstDrinkwatercomesforwardbetweenSirHowardandLadyCicely。
DRINKWATER。Yrhonor’sservant。（TotheItalian）Mawtzow：islawdshipSrAhrdEllam。（Marzotoucheshishat。）ErLidyshipLidyWinefleet。（Marzotoucheshishat。）Hawtellianshipmite，lidy。
Hahrchef。
LADYCICELY（noddingaffablytoMarzo）。Howdyedo？IloveItaly。
Whatpartofitwereyoubornin？
DRINKWATER。Worn’tbawninHitlyatall，lidy。BawninEttnGawdn（HattonGarden）。HawcebarreranstreetpiannerHawtellian，lidy：
thet’swoteis。KepnBrarsbahnd’srespectstoyrhonors；aneawitesyrcommawnds。
RANKIN。Shallwegoindoorstoseehim？
SIRHOWARD。Ithinkwehadbetterhavealookathimbydaylight。
RANKIN。Thenwemustlosenotime：thedarkissoondowninthislatitude。（ToDrinkwater）Willyeaskhimtostepoutheretous，Mr。Drinkwotter？
DRINKWATER。Rawtyouaw，gavner。（Hegoesofficiouslyintothehouse。）
LadyCicelyandRankinsitdownasbeforetoreceivetheCaptain。
Thelightisbythistimewaningrapidly，thedarknesscreepingwestintotheorangecrimson。
LADYCICELY（whispering）。Don’tyoufeelrathercreepy，Mr。
Rankin？Iwonderwhathe’llbelike。
RANKIN。Imisdoubtmehewillnotanswer，yourleddyship。
Thereisascufflingnoiseinthehouse；andDrinkwatershootsoutthroughthedoorwayacrossthegardenwitheveryappearanceofhavingbeenviolentlykicked。MarzoimmediatelyhurriesdownthegardenonSirHoward’srightoutoftheneighborhoodofthedoorway。
DRINKWATER（tryingtoputacheerfulaironmuchmortificationandbodilyanguish）。Narstysteptotheteredoortrippedmehap，itdid。（Raisinghisvoiceandnarrowlyescapingasqueakofpain）
KepnBrarsbahnd。（Hegetsasfarfromthehouseaspossible，onRankin’sleft。Rankinrisestoreceivehisguest。）
Anolivecomplexionedmanwithdarksoutherneyesandhaircomesfromthehouse。Ageabout36。Handsomefeatures，butjoyless；
darkeyebrowsdrawntowardsoneanother；mouthsetgrimly；
nostrilslargeandstrained：afacesettoonetragicpurpose。A
manoffewwords，fewergestures，andmuchsignificance。Onthewhole，interesting，andevenattractive，butnotfriendly。Hestandsforamoment，saturnineintheruddylight，toseewhoispresent，lookinginasingularandratherdeadlywayatSirHoward；thenwithsomesurpriseanduneasinessatLadyCicely。
Finallyhecomesdownintothemiddleofthegarden，andconfrontsRankin，whohasbeenglaringathiminconsternationfromthemomentofhisentrance，andcontinuestodosoinsomarkedawaythattheglowinBrassbound’seyesdeepensashebeginstotakeoffence。
BRASSBOUND。Well，sir，haveyoustaredyourfillatme？
RANKIN（recoveringhimselfwithastart）。Iaskyourpardonformybadmanners，CaptainBrassbound。Yeareextraordinairlekanauldcollegefriendofmine，whosefaceIsaidnottenminutesgonethatIcouldnolongerbringtomind。Itwasasifhehadcomefromthegravetoremindmeofit。
BRASSBOUND。Whyhaveyousentforme？
RANKIN。Wehaveamatterofbusinesswithye，Captain。
BRASSBOUND。Whoare\"we\"？
RANKIN。ThisisSirHowrrdHallam，whowillbewellknowntoyeasoneofHerMajesty’sjudges。
BRASSBOUND（turningthesingularlookagainonSirHoward）。Thefriendofthewidow!theprotectorofthefatherless!
SIRHOWARD（startled）。IdidnotknowIwassofavorablyspokenofintheseparts，CaptainBrassbound。Wewantanescortforatripintothemountains。
BRASSBOUND（ignoringthisannouncement）。Whoisthelady？
RANKIN。LadyCeecilyWaynflete，hislordship’ssister—in—law。
LADYCICELY。Howdyedo，CaptainBrassbound？（Hebowsgravely。）
SIRHOWARD（alittleimpatientofthesequestions，whichstrikehimassomewhatimpertinent）。Letuscometobusiness，ifyouplease。Wearethinkingofmakingashortexcursiontoseethecountryabouthere。Canyouprovideuswithanescortofrespectable，trustworthymen？
BRASSBOUND。No。
DRINKWATER（instrongremonstrance）。Nah，nah，nah!Nahlookeah，Kepn，y’knaow——
BRASSBOUND（betweenhisteeth）。Holdyourtongue。
DRINKWATER（abjectly）。Yuss，Kepn。
RANKIN。Iunderstooditwasyourbusinesstoprovideescorts，CaptainBrassbound。
BRASSBOUND。Youwererightlyinformed。ThatISmybusiness。
LADYCICELY。Thenwhywon’tyoudoitforus？
BRASSBOUND。Youarenotcontentwithanescort。Youwantrespectable，trustworthymen。YoushouldhavebroughtadivisionofLondonpolicemenwithyou。Mymenareneitherrespectablenortrustworthy。
DRINKWATER（unabletocontainhimself）。Nah，nah，lookeah，Kepn。
Ifyouwanttobemoddist，bemoddistonyouraownaccahnt，nortonmawn。
BRASSBOUND。Youseewhatmymenarelike。Thatrascal（indicatingMarzo）wouldcutathroatforadollarifhehadcourageenough。
MARZO。Inotunderstand。InospikEnglis。
BRASSBOUND。Thisthing（pointingtoDrinkwater）isthegreatestliar，thief，drunkard，andrapscalliononthewestcoast。
DRINKWATER（affectinganironicindifference）。Goworn，Goworn。
SrAhrdezerdwitnessestomawkerrickterafoah。Eknaowsahmechtobelieveofem。
LADYCICELY。CaptainBrassbound：Ihaveheardallthatbeforeabouttheblacks；andIfoundthemverynicepeoplewhentheywereproperlytreated。
DRINKWATER（chuckling：theItalianisalsogrinning）。Nah，Kepn，nah!Owpyrprahdoy’seolfnah。
BRASSBOUND。Iquiteunderstandthepropertreatmentforhim，madam。Ifheopenshismouthagainwithoutmyleave，Iwillbreakeveryboneinhisskin。
LADYCICELY（inhermostsunnilymatter—of—factway）。DoesCaptainBrassboundalwaystreatyoulikethis，Mr。Drinkwater？
Drinkwaterhesitates，andlooksapprehensivelyattheCaptain。
BRASSBOUND。Answer，youdog，whentheladyordersyou。（ToLadyCicely）DonotaddresshimasMr。Drinkwater，madam：heisaccustomedtobecalledBrandyfacedJack。
DRINKWATER（indignantly）。Eah，awsy!nahlookeah，Kepn：mawnimeisDrinkworter。YouawskemetSinJorn’sintheWorterleooRowd。Ornmawgrenfawther’stombstown，itis。
BRASSBOUND。Itwillbeonyourowntombstone，presently，ifyoucannotholdyourtongue。（Turningtotheothers）Letusunderstandoneanother，ifyouplease。Anescorthere，oranywherewheretherearenoregulardisciplinedforces，iswhatitscaptainmakesit。IfIundertakethisbusiness，Ishallbeyourescort。Imayrequireadozenmen，justasImayrequireadozenhorses。Someofthehorseswillbevicious；sowillallthemen。Ifeitherhorseormantriesanyofhisviciousnessonme，somuchtheworseforhim；butitwillmakenodifferencetoyou。
Iwillordermymentobehavethemselvesbeforethelady；andtheyshallobeytheirorders。ButtheladywillpleaseunderstandthatItakemyownwaywiththemandsuffernointerference。
LADYCICELY。CaptainBrassbound：Idon’twantanescortatall。
Itwillsimplygetusallintodanger；andIshallhavethetroubleofgettingitoutagain。That’swhatescortsalwaysdo。
ButsinceSirHowardprefersanescort，Ithinkyouhadbetterstayathomeandletmetakechargeofit。Iknowyourmenwillgetonperfectlywellifthey’reproperlytreated。
DRINKWATER（withenthusiasm）。Feedahtoyrand，lidy，wewould。
BRASSBOUND（withsardonicassent）。Good。Iagree。（ToDrinkwater）
Youshallgowithoutme。
DRINKWATER。（terrified）。Eah!Wotareyouasyinorn？Wecawn’tgowwithahtyer。（ToLadyCicely）Naow，lidy：itwouldn’tbeforyrhowngood。Yercawn’thexpectalotopoorhoneddikitedmenlawkhuztoranahrseolvsintodinegerwithahtnaowKepntoteolluswottodo。Naow，lidy：hoonawtedwestend：deevawdidwefall。
LADYCICELY。Oh，ifyoupreferyourcaptain，havehimbyallmeans。DoyouLIKEtobetreatedashetreatsyou？
DAINKWATER（withasmileofvanity）。Weoll，lidy：ycawn’tdeenawthate’saPaffickGenlmn。Bithawbitrairy，preps；buthinagenlmnyoulooksforsich。IttikesahawbitrairywannetoknockahtthemeathenShikes，awteollyer。
BRASSBOUND。That’senough。Go。
DRINKWATER。Weoll，awwashownlyateollnthelidythet——（A
threateningmovementfromBrassboundcutshimshort。Hefliesforhislifeintothehouse，followedbytheItalian。）
BRASSBOUND。Yourladyshipsees。Thesemenservemebytheirownfreechoice。Iftheyaredissatisfied，theygo。IfIamdissatisfied，theygo。TheytakecarethatIamnotdissatisfied。
SIRHOWARD（whohaslistenedwithapprovalandgrowingconfidence）。CaptainBrassbound：youarethemanIwant。Ifyourtermsareatallreasonable，Iwillacceptyourservicesifwedecidetomakeanexcursion。Youdonotobject，Cicely，Ihope。
LADYCICELY。Ohno。Afterall，thosemenmustreallylikeyou，CaptainBrassbound。Ifeelsureyouhaveakindheart。Youhavesuchniceeyes。
SIRHOWARD（scandalized）。MyDEARCicely：youreallymustrestrainyourexpressionsofconfidenceinpeople’seyesandfaces。（ToBrassbound）Now，aboutterms，Captain？
BRASSBOUND。Wheredoyouproposetogo？
SIRHOWARD。Ihardlyknow。WhereCANwego，Mr。Rankin？
RANKIN。Takemyadvice，SirHowrrd。Don’tgofar。
BRASSBOUND。IcantakeyoutoMeskala，fromwhichyoucanseetheAtlasMountains。FromMeskalaIcantakeyoutoanancientcastleinthehills，whereyoucanputupaslongasyouplease。Thecustomarychargeishalfadollaramanperdayandhisfood。I
chargedouble。
SIRHOWARD。Isupposeyouanswerforyourmenbeingsturdyfellows，whowillstandtotheirgunsifnecessary。
BRASSBOUND。IcananswerfortheirbeingmoreafraidofmethanoftheMoors。
LADYCICELY。Thatdoesn’tmatterintheleast，Howard。Theimportantthing，CaptainBrassbound，is：first，thatweshouldhaveasfewmenaspossible，becausemengivesuchalotoftroubletravelling。Andthen，theymusthavegoodlungsandnotbealwayscatchingcold。Aboveall，theirclothesmustbeofgoodwearingmaterial。OtherwiseIshallbenursingandstitchingandmendingalltheway；anditwillbetroubleenough，Iassureyou，tokeepthemwashedandfedwithoutthat。
BRASSBOUND（haughtily）。Mymen，madam，arenotchildreninthenursery。
LADYCICELY（withunanswerableconviction）。CaptainBrassbound：
allmenarechildreninthenursery。Iseethatyoudon’tnoticethings。ThatpoorItalianhadonlyoneproperbootlace：theotherwasabitofstring。AndIamsurefromMr。Drinkwater’scomplexionthatheoughttohavesomemedicine。
BRASSBOUND（outwardlydeterminednottobetrifledwith：inwardlypuzzledandratherdaunted）。Madam：ifyouwantanescort，Icanprovideyouwithanescort。IfyouwantaSundaySchooltreat，I
canNOTprovideit。
LADYCICELY（withsweetmelancholy）。Ah，don’tyouwishyoucould，Captain？Oh，ifIcouldonlyshowyoumychildrenfromWaynfleteSundaySchool!Thedarlingswouldlovethisplace，withallthecamelsandblackmen。I’msureyouwouldenjoyhavingthemhere，CaptainBrassbound；anditwouldbesuchaneducationforyourmen!（Brassboundstaresatherwithdryinglips。）
SIRHOWARD。Cicely：whenyouhavequitedonetalkingnonsensetoCaptainBrassbound，wecanproceedtomakesomedefinitearrangementwithhim。
LADYCICELY。Butit’sarrangedalready。We’llstartateighto’clockto—morrowmorning，ifyouplease，Captain。NevermindabouttheItalian：IhaveabigboxofclotheswithmeformybrotherinRome；andtherearesomebootlacesinit。Nowgohometobedanddon’tfussyourself。Allyouhavetodoistobringyourmenround；andI’llseetotherest。Menarealwayssonervousaboutmoving。Goodnight。（Sheoffershimherhand。
Surprised，hepullsoffhiscapforthefirsttime。Somescruplepreventshimfromtakingherhandatonce。Hehesitates；thenturnstoSirHowardandaddresseshimwithwarningearnestness。）
BRASSBOUND。SirHowardHallam：Iadviseyounottoattemptthisexpedition。
SIRHOWARD。Indeed!Why？
BRASSBOUND。Youaresafehere。Iwarnyou，inthosehillsthereisajusticethatisnotthejusticeofyourcourtsinEngland。
Ifyouhavewrongedaman，youmaymeetthatmanthere。Ifyouhavewrongedawoman，youmaymeethersonthere。Thejusticeofthosehillsisthejusticeofvengeance。
SIRHOWARD（faintlyamused）。Youaresuperstitious，Captain。Mostsailorsare，Inotice。However，Ihavecompleteconfidenceinyourescort。
BRASSBOUND（almostthreateningly）。Takecare。Theavengermaybeoneoftheescort。
SIRHOWARD。Ihavealreadymettheonlymemberofyourescortwhomighthaveborneagrudgeagainstme，Captain；andhewasacquitted。
BRASSBOUND。Youarefatedtocome，then？
SIRHOWARD（smiling）。Itseemsso。
BRASSBOUND。Onyourheadbeit!（ToLadyCicely，acceptingherhandatlast）Goodnight。
Hegoes。Itisbythistimestarrynight。
ACTII
Midday。AroaminaMoorishcastle。Adivanseatrunsroundthedilapidatedadobewalls，whicharepartlypainted，partlyfacedwithwhitetilespatternedingreenandyellow。Theceilingismadeupoflittlesquares，paintedinbrightcolors，withgildededges，andornamentedwithgiltknobs。Onthecementflooraremattings，sheepskins，andleatherncushionswithgeometricalpatternsonthem。ThereisatinyMoorishtableinthemiddle；
andatitahugesaddle，withsaddleclothsofvariouscolors，showingthattheroomisusedbyforeignersaccustomedtochairs。
Anyonesittingatthetableinthisseatwouldhavethechiefentrance，alargehorseshoearch，onhisleft，andanothersaddleseatbetweenhimandthearch；whilst，ifsusceptibletodraughts，hewouldprobablycatchcoldfromalittleMoorishdoorinthewallbehindhimtohisright。
TwoorthreeofBrassbound’smen，overcomebythemiddayheat，sprawlsupineonthefloor，withtheirreefercoatsundertheirheads，theirkneesuplifted，andtheircalveslaidcomfortablyonthedivan。Thosewhowearshirtshavethemopenatthethroatforgreatercoolness。Somehavejerseys。Allwearbootsandbelts，andhavegunsreadytotheirhands。Oneofthem，lyingwithhisheadagainstthesecondsaddleseat，wearswhatwasonceafashionablewhiteEnglishyachtingsuit。HeisevidentlyapleasantlyworthlessyoungEnglishgentlemangonetothebad，butretainingsufficientself—respecttoshavecarefullyandbrushhishair，whichiswearingthin，anddoesnotseemtohavebeenluxurianteveninitsbestdays。
Thesilenceisbrokenonlybythesnoresoftheyounggentleman，whosemouthhasfallenopen，untilafewdistantshotshalfwakenhim。Heshutshismouthconvulsively，andopenshiseyessleepily。Adoorisviolentlykickedoutside；andthevoiceofDrinkwaterisheardraisingurgentalarm。
DRINKWATER。Wotow!Wikeapthere，willyr。Wikeap。（Herushesinthroughthehorseshoearch，hotandexcited，andrunsround，kickingthesleepers）Nahthen。Gitap。Gitap，willyr，KiddyRedbrook。（Hegivestheyoungqentlemanarudeshove。）
REDBOOK（sittingup）。Stowthat，willyou。What’samiss？
DRINKWATER（disgusted）。Wot’samiss!Didn’teahnaowfawrin，I
spowse。
REDBROOK。No。
DRINKWATER（sneering）。Naow。Thortitsifernort，didn’tyr？
REDBROOK（withcrispintelligence）。What!You’rerunningaway，areyou？（Hespringsup，crying）Lookalive，Johnnies：there’sdanger。BrandyfacedJack’sontherun。（Theyspringuphastily，graspingtheirguns。）
DRINKWATER。Dineger!Yuss：shouldthinkthereworsdineger。It’showver，thow，asitmowstlyhisbawthetawmYOU’REawike。（Theyrelapseintolassitude。）Wawwasn’tyouonthelook—ahttogiveusaend？BinhatteckedbawtheBennySeeras（BeniSiras），weev，anedtorawdforitprettystrite，too，awteollyr。Mawtzowisit：thebulletglawnstallrahndisbloominbrisket。BrarsbahndedropttheShike’sossatsixunnernfiftyyawds。（Bustlingthemabout）Nahthen：gittheplicereadyfortheBritishherristoracy，LawdEllamandLidyWineflete。
REDBOOK。Ladyfaint，eh？
DRINKWATER。Fynt!Notlawkly。Worntedtogowantalk，totheBennySeeras：blaowmeifshedidn’t!huzwotwewasfrahtndof。
TyinupMawtzow’swound，sheis，likeabloominorspittlenass。
（SirHoward，withacopiouspagrionhiswhitehat，entersthroughthehorseshoearch，followedbyacoupleofmensupportingthewoundedMarzo，who，weepingandterrorstrickenbytheprospectofdeathandofsubsequenttormentsforwhichheisconsciousofhavingeminentlyqualifiedhimself，hashiscoatoffandabandageroundhischest。Oneofhissupportersisablackbearded，thickset，slow，middle—agedmanwithanairofdamagedrespectability，named——asitafterwardsappears——Johnson。
LadyCicelywalksbesideMarzo。Redbrook，alittleshamefaced，crossestheroomtotheoppositewallasfarawayaspossiblefromthevisitors。Drinkwaterturnsandreceivesthemwithjocularceremony。）WeolcometoBrarsbahndCawstl，SrAhrdanlidy。Thiseahisthecorfeeandcommercialroom。
SirHowardgoestothetableandsitsonthesaddle，ratherexhausted。LadyCicelycomestoDrinkwater。
LADYCICELY。WhereisMarzo’sbed？
DRINKWATER。Isbed，lidy？Weoll：eyntpetickler，lidy。Eezischawceofhennyflegstownaginthetwall。
TheydepositMarzoontheflagsagainstthewallclosetothelittledoor。Hegroans。JohnsonphlegmaticallyleaveshimandjoinsRedbrook。
LADYCICELY。Butyoucan’tleavehimthereinthatstate。
DRINKWATER。Ow：e’shallrawt。（StrollingupcallouslytoMarzo）
You’rehallrawt，yntyer，Mawtzow？（Marzowhimpers。）Corsey’aw。
LADYCICELY（toSirHoward）。Didyoueverseesuchahelplesslotofpoorcreatures？（Shemakesforthelittledoor。）
DRINKWATER。Eah!（Herunstothedoorandplaceshimselfbeforeit。）Wheremawtyrlidyshipbegowin？
LADYCICELY。I’mgoingthrougheveryroominthiscastletofindaproperplacetoputthatman。AndnowI’lltellyouwhereYOU’REgoing。You’regoingtogetsomewaterforMarzo，whoisverythirsty。Andthen，whenI’vechosenaroomforhim，you’regoingtomakeabedforhimthere。
DRINKWATER（sarcastically）。Ow!Hennyatherlittlesuvvice？Mikeyrseolfatowm，y’knaow，lidy。
LADYCICELY（considerately）。Don’tgoifyou’drathernot，Mr。
Drinkwater。Perhapsyou’retootired。（Turningtothearchway）
I’llaskCaptainBrassbound：hewon’tmind。
DRINKWATER（terrified，runningafterherandgettingbetweenherandthearch）。Naow，naow!Naow，lidy：doesn’tyougoesdisturbintheKepn。Awllseetoit。
LADYCICELY（gravely）。Iwassureyouwould，Mr。Drinkwater。Youhavesuchakindface。（Sheturnsbackandgoesoutthroughthesmalldoor。）
DRINKWATER（lookingafterher）。Garn!
SIRHOWARD（toDrinkwater）。Willyouaskoneofyourfriendstoshowmetomyroomwhilstyouaregettingthewater？
DRINKWATER（insolently）。Yrroom!Ow：thisyntgoodenaffryr，yntit？（Ferociously）Ooayouorderinabaht，ih？
SIRHOWARD（risingquietly，andtakingrefugebetweenRedbrookandJohnson，whomheaddresses）。Canyoufindmeamoreprivateroomthanthis？
JOHNSON（shakinghishead）。I’venoorders。Youmustwaittilthecapncomes，sir。
DRINKWATER（followingSirHoward）。Yuss；anwhawlyou’rewitin，ylltikeyourhordersfromme：see？
JOHNSON（withslowseverity，toDrinkwater）。Lookhere：doyouseethreegenlmentalkintooneanotherhere，civilandprivate，eh？
DRINKWATER（chapfallen）。Nooffence，MisteJornsn——
JOHNSON（ominously）。Ay；butthereisoffence。Where’syourmanners，youguttersnipe？（TurningtoSirHoward）That’sthecurseothiskindolife，sir：yougottoassociatewithallsorts。Myfather，sir，wasCapnJohnsonoHull——ownedhisownschooner，sir。We’remostlygentlemenhere，sir，asyou’llfind，exceptthepoorignorantforeignerandthattherescumofthesubmergedtenth。（ContemptuouslylookingatDrinkwater）HEain’tnobody’sson：he’sonlyaoffspringocosterfolkorsuch。
DRINKWATER（burstingintotears）。Clawssfeelin!thet’swotitis：clawssfeelin!Wotareyer，arterall，batabloomingangowestcowstcazhls（casualwardpaupers）？（Johnsonisscandalized；
andthereisageneralthrillofindignation。）Betterevnaowfembly，anrawseahtofit，lawkme，thanevaspecbleoneanddisgriceit，lawkyou。
JOHNSON。BrandyfacedJack：Inameyouforconductandlanguageunbecomingtoagentleman。Thosewhoagreewillsignifythesameintheusualmanner。
ALL（vehemently）。Aye。
DRINKWATER（wildly）。Naow。
JOHNSON。FelixDrinkwater：areyougoinout，orareyougointowaittilyou’rechuckedout？Youcancryinthepassage。Ifyougiveanytrouble，you’llhavesomethingtocryfor。
TheymakeathreatenngmovementtowardsDrinkwater。
DRINKWATER（whimpering）。Youleemealown：awmgowin。There’sn’mawtruedemmecrettickfeelineahthanthereisintheowlbloominMdivisionofNoontnCorzwycoppers（NewingtonCausewaypolicemen）。
Asheslinksawayintearstowardsthearch，Brassboundenters。
Drinkwaterpromptlysheltershimselfonthecaptain’slefthand，theothersretreatingtotheoppositesideasBrassboundadvancestothemiddleoftheroom。SirHowardretiresbehindthemandseatshimselfonthedivan，muchfatigued。
BRASSBOUND（toDrinkwater）。Whatareyousnivellingat？
DRINKWATER。Youawskthewustcowstherristorcracy。Theyfawndsmawcornduckhanbecammintoagenlmn。
BrassboundisabouttoaskJohnsonforanexplanation，whenLadyCicelyreturnsthroughthelittledoor，andcomesbetweenBrassboundandDrinkwater。
LADYCICELY（toDrinkwater）。Haveyoufetchedthewater？
DRINKWATER。Yuss：nahYOUbeginornme。（Heweepsafresh。）
LADYCICELY（surprised）。Oh!Thiswon’tdo，Mr。Drinkwater。Ifyoucry，Ican’tletyounurseyourfriend。