\"Goandborrowsomefromthenextward，andspendtherestofthedayinfindingours，\"Ifinallycommand。Apause；thenFrankscufflesbackwiththemessage：\"MissPeppercornain’tgotnone，andsaysyouain’tnobusinesstoloseyourowndudsandgoborrowin’otherfolkses；。\"Isaynothing，forfearofsayingtoomuch，butflytothesurgery。Mr。ToddypestleinformsmethatIcan’thaveanythingwithoutanorderfromthesurgeonofmyward。Greatheavens!whereishe？andawayIrush，upanddown，hereandthere，tillatlastIfindhim，inastateofblissoveracomplicatedamputation，inthefourthstory。Imakemydemand；beanswers：\"Infiveminutes，\"andworksaway，withhisheadupsidedown，ashetiesanartery，sawsabone，ordoesalittleneedle—work，withavisiblerelishandverysanguinarypairofhands。Thefiveminutesgrowtofifteen，andFrankappears，withtheremarkthat，\"Dammerwantstoknowwhatinthunderyouarekeepinghimtherewithhisfingeronawetragfor？\"Dr。P。[Page73]tearshimselfawaylongenoughtoscribbletheorder，withwhichIplungedownwardtothesurgeryagain，findthedoorlocked，and，whilehammeringawayonit，amtoldthattwofriendsarewaitingtoseemeinthehall。Thematronbeingaway，herparlorislocked，andthereisnowheretoseemyguestsbutinmyownroom，andnotimetoenjoythemtilltheplasterisfound。Isettlethismatter，andcirculatethroughthehousetofindToddypestle，whohasnoright，toleavethesurgerytillnight。Heisdiscoveredinthedeadhouse，smokingacigar；andverymuchtheworseforhisresearchesamongthespirituouspreparationsthatfillthesurgeryshelves。Heisinclinedtobegallant，andputsthefinishingblowtothefireofmywrath；forthetea—kettlelidfliesoff，anddrivinghimbeforemetohispost，Iflingdowntheorder，takewhatIchoose；
and，leavingtheabsurdincapablekissinghishandtome，depart，feeling，asGrandmaRiglestyisreportedtohavedone，whenshevainlysoughtforchips，inBimleckJackwood’s\"shiflesspaster。\"
IfindDammerawellactedcharadeofhisownname，and，justasIgethimdone，strugglingthewhilewithaburningdesiretoclapanadhesivestripacrosshismouth，fullofheaven—defyingoaths，Franktakesuphisboottoputiton，andexclaims：
\"I’mblestefhereain’tthatcasenow!Irecollectseeingitpitchinthismornin’，butforgotallaboutit，tillmyheelwentsmashinterit。Here，ma’am，ketchholdonit，andgivetheboysasheeton’tallround，’gainstittumblesintert’otherbootnexttimeyerwantit。\"
Ifalookcouldannihilate，FrancisSauceboxwouldhaveceasedtoexist；
butitcouldn’t；therefore，heyetlives，toaggravatesomeunhappywoman’ssoul，andwaxfatinsomeequallycongenialsituation。[Page74]
Now，whileI’mfreeingmymind，Ishouldliketoentermyprotestagainstemployingconvalescentsasattendants，insteadofstrong，properlytrained，andcheerfulmen。HowitmaybeinotherplacesIcannotsay；buthereitwasasourceofconstanttroubleandconfusion，thesefeeble，ignorantmentryingtosweep，scrub，lift，andwaitupontheirsickercomrades。
One，withadiseasedheart，wasexpectedtorunupanddownstairs，carryheavytrays，andmovehelplessmen；hetriedit，andgrewrapidlyworsethanwhenhefirstcame：and，whenhewasorderedouttomarchawaytotheconvalescenthospital，fell，inasortoffit，beforeheturnedthecorner，andwasbroughtbacktodie。Another，hurtbyafallfromhishorse，endeavoredtodohisduty，butfailedentirely，andthewrathofthewardmasterfelluponthenurse，whomusteitherscrubtheroomsherself，ortakethelecture；fortheboylookedstoutandwell，andthemasterneverhappenedtoseehimturnwhitewithpain，orhearhimgroaninhissleepwhenaninvoluntary。motionstrainedhispoorback。Constantcomplaintswerebeingmadeofincompetentattendants，andsomedozenwomendiddoubleduty，andthenwereblamedforbreakingdown。Ifanyhospitaldirectorfanciesthisagoodandeconomicalarrangement，allowoneusedupnursetotellhimitisn’t，andbeghimtosparethesisterhood，whosometimes，intheirsympathy，forgetthattheyaremortal，andruntheriskofbeingmadeimmortal，soonerthanisagreeabletotheirpartialfriends。
AnotherofmyfewramblestookmetotheSenateChamber，hopingtohearandseeifthislargemachinewasrunanybetterthansomesmallonesI
knewof。Iwastoolate，andfoundtheSpeaker’schairoccupiedbyacoloredgentlemanoften；whiletwootherswere\"ontheirlegs，\"havingahotdebateonthecornballquestion，astheygatheredthewaste[Page75]paperstrewnaboutthefloorintobags；andseveralwhitemembersplayedleap—frogoverthedesks，amuchwholesomerrelaxationthansomeoftheolderSenatorsindulgein，Ifancy。Findingthecoastclear，Ilikewisegambolledupanddown，fromgallerytogallery；satinSumner’schair。andcudgelledanimaginaryBrookswithinaninchofhislife；examinedWilson’sbooksinthecoolestpossiblemanner；warmedmyfeetatoneofthenationalregisters；readpeople’snamesonscatteredenvelopes，andpocketedacastawayautographortwo；watchedthesomewhatunparliamentaryproceedingsgoingonaboutme，andwonderedwhointheworldallthesedategentlemenwere，whokeptpoppingoutofodddoorshereandthere，likerespectableJacks—in—the—box。ThenIwanderedoverthe\"palatialresidence\"
ofMrs。Columbia，andexamineditsmanybeauties，thoughIcan’tsayI
thoughtheratidyhousekeeper，anddidn’tadmirehertasteinpictures，fortheeyeofthishumbleindividualsoonweariedofexpiringpatriots，whoallappearedtobequittingtheirearthlytabernaclesinconvulsions，ruffledshirts，andawhirloftornbanners，bombshells，andbuffandbluearmsandlegs。Thestatuaryalsowasmassiveandconcrete，butratherwearyingtoexamine；forthecolossalladiesandgentlemen，carriednocardsofintroductioninfaceorfigure；so，whetherthemeditativepartyinakilt，withwell—developedlegs，shoeslikearmyslippers，andaponderousnose，wasColumbus，Cato，orCockelorumTibby，thetragedian，wasmorethanIcouldtell。Severalrobustladiesattractedme；butwhichwasAmericaandwhichPocahontaswasamystery；forallaffectedmuchloosenessofcostume，dishevelmentofhair，swords，arrows，lances，scales，andotherornamentsquitepassé；withdamselsofourday，whoseeffigiesshouldgodowntoposterityarmed[Page76]
withfans，crochetneedles，ridingwhips，andparasols，withhereandthereoneholdingpenorpencil，rolling—pinorbroom。ThestatueofLibertyIrecognizedatonce，forithadnopedestalasyet，butstoodflatinthemud，withYoungAmericamostsymbollicallymakingdirtpies，andchipforts，initsshadow。Buthighabovethesquabblinglittlethrongandtheirpettyplans，thesunshonefullonLiberty’sbroadforehead，and，inherhand，somesummerbirdhadbuiltitsnest。Iacceptedthegoodomenthen，and，onthefirstofJanuary，theEmancipationActgavethestatueanoblerandmoreenduringpedestalthananymarbleorgraniteevercarvedandquarriedbyhumanbands。
OnetriptoGeorgetownHeights，wherecedarssighedoverhead，deadleavesrustledunderfoot，pleasantpathsledupanddown，andabrookwoundlikeasilversnakebytheblackenedruinsofsomeFrenchMinister’shouse，throughthepoorgardensoftheblackwasherwomenwhocongregatedthere，and，passingthecemeterywithamurmurouslullaby，rolledawaytopayitslittletributetotheriver。ThisbreezyrunwasthelastItook；for，onthemorrow，camerainandwind：andconfinementsoonprovedapowerfulreinforcementtotheenemy，whowasquietlypreparingtospringamine，andblowmefivehundredmilesfromthepositionIhadtakeninwhatI
calledmyChickahominySwamp。
Shutupinmyroom，withnovoice，spirits，orbooks，thatweekwasnotaholiday，byanymeans。Findingmealsahumbug，Istoppedawayaltogether，trustingthatifthissparrowwasofanyworth，theLordwouldnotletitfalltotheground。Likeaflockoffriendlyravens，mysisternursesfedme，notonlywithfoodforthebody，butkindwordsforthemind；andsoon，frombeinghalfstarved，Ifoundmyselfsobeteaedandbetoasted，pettedandserved，thatIwasquite\"inthelap[Page77]ofluxury，\"inspiteofcough，headache，apainfulconsciousnessofmypleura，andarealizingsenseofbonesinthehumanframe。Fromthepleasanthouseonthehill，thehomeintheheartofWashington，andtheWillardcaravansary，camefriendsnewandold，withbottles，baskets，carriagesandinvitationsfortheinvalid；anddailyourFlorenceNightingaleclimbedthesteepstairs，stealingamomentfromherbusylife，towatchoverthestranger，ofwhomshewasasthoughtfullytenderasanymother。Longmayshewave!Whateverothersmaythinkorsay，NursePeriwinkleisforevergrateful；andamongherrelicsofthatWashingtondefeat，noneismorevaluedthanthelittlebookwhichappearedonherpillow，onedrearyday；
fortheDD。writteninitmeanstoherfarmorethanDoctorofDivinity。
Beingforbiddentomeddlewithfleshlyarmsandlegs，Isolacedmyselfbymendingcottonones，and，asIsatsewingatmywindow，watchedthemovingpanoramathatpassedbelow；amusingmyselfwithtakingnotesofthemoststrikingfiguresinit。Longtrainsofarmywagonskeptupaperpetualrumblefrommorningtillnight；ambulancesrattledtoandfrowithbusysurgeons，nursestakinganairing，orconvalescentsgoinginpartiestobefittedtoartificiallimbs。Stringsofsorrylookinghorsespassed，sayingasplainlyasdumbcreaturescould，\"Why，inacityfullofthem，istherenohorsepitalforus？\"Oftenacartcameby，withseveralroughcoffinsinitandnomournersfollowing；baroucbes，withinvalidofficers，rolledroundthecorner，andcarriageloadsofprettychildren，withblackcoachmen，footmen，andmaids。Thewomenwhotooktheirwalksabroad，weresoextinguishedinthreestorybonnets，withoverhangingbalconiesofflowers，thattheircharmswereobscured；andallIcansayofthemisthattheydressedintheworstpossibletaste，andwalkedlikeducks。[Page78]
Themendidthepicturesque，anddiditsowellthatWashingtonlookedlikeamammothmasquerade。Spanishhats，scarletlinedridingcloaks，swordsandsashes，highbootsandbrightspurs，beardsandmustaches，whichmadeplainfacescomely，andcomelyfacesheroic；thesevanitiesofthefleshtransformedourbutchers，bakers，andcandlestickmakersintogallantridersofgailycaparisonedhorses，muchhandsomerthanthemselves；anddozensofsuchfigureswereconstantlyprancingby，withprivateprickingsofspurs，forthebenefitoftheperambulatingflower—bed。Someofthesegentlemenaffectedpainfullytightuniforms，andlittlecaps，keptonbysomenewlawofgravitation，astheycoveredonlythebridgeofthenose，yetneverfelloff；themenlookedlikestuffedfowls，androdeasifthesafetyofthenationdependedontheirspeedalone。Thefattest，greyestofficersdressedmost，andambledstatelilyalong，withorderliesbehind，tryingtolookasiftheydidn’tknowthestoutpartyinfront，anddoingmuchcaracolingontheirownaccount。
Themulesweremyespecialdelight；andanhour’sstudyofaconstantsuccessionofthemintroducedmetomanyoftheircharacteristics；forsixoftheseoddlittlebeastsdreweacharmywagon，andwenthoppinglikefrogsthroughthestreamofmudthatgentlyrolledalongthestreet。Thecoquettishmulehadsmallfeet，anicelytrimmedtasselofatail，perkedupears，andseemedmuchgiventolittletossesofthehead，affectedskipsandprances；and，ifheworethebells，orwerebedizzenedwithabitoffinery，putonasmanyairsasanybelle。Themoralmulewasastout，hard—workingcreature，alwaystuggingwithallhismight；oftenpullingawayaftertheresthadstopped，laboringundertheconscientiousdelusionthatfoodfortheentirearmydependeduponhisprivateexertions。Irespectedthisstyleofmule；andhad[Page79]Ipossessedajuicycabbage，wouldhavepressedituponhim，withthanksforhisexcellentexample。Thehistoricalmulewasamelo—dramaticquadruped，pronetostartlinghumanitybyerraticleaps，andwildplunges，muchshakingofhisstubbornhead，andlashingoutofhisviciousheels；nowandthenfallingflatandapparentlydyingalaForrest：agasp；asquirm；aflop，andsoon，tillthestreetwaswellblockedup，thedriversallswearinglikedemonsinbadhats，andthechiefactor’scirculationdecidedlyquickenedbyeveryvarietyofkick，cuffjerk，andhaul。Whenthelastbreathseemedtohavelefthisbody，and\"Doctorswereinvain，\"asuddenresurrectiontookplace；andifeveramulelaughedwithscornfultriumph，thatwasthebeast，asheleisurelyrose，gaveacomfortableshake，andcalmlyregardingtheexcitedcrowdseemedtosay；\"Ahit!adecidedbit!forthestupidestofanimalshasbamboozledadozenmen。Now，then!whatareyoustoppingthewayfor？\"Thepatheticmulewas，perhaps，themostinterestingofall；for，thoughhealwaysseemedtobethesmallest，thinnest，weakestofthesix，thepostillion，withbigboots，long—tailedcoat，andheavywhip，wassuretobestridethisone，whostruggledfeeblyalong，headdown，coatmuddyandrough，eyespiritlessandsad，hisverytailamortifiedstump，andthewholebeastapictureofmeekmisery，fittotouchaheartofstone。Thejovialmulewasarolypoly，happy—go—luckylittlepieceofhorse—flesh，takingeverythingeasily，fromcudgelingtocaressing；
strollingalongwitharoguishtwinkleoftheeye，and，ifthethingwerepossible，wouldhavehadhishandsinhispockets，andwhistledashewent。
Ifthereeverchancedtobeanapplecore，astrayturnip，orwispofhay，inthegutter，thisMarkTapleywassuretofindit，andnoneofhismatesseemedtobegrudgehimhisbite。Isuspectedthisfellowwasthepeacemaker，[Page80]confidantandfriendofalltheothers，forhehadasortof\"Cheer—up，—old—boy，—I’ll—pull—you—through\"look，whichwasexceedinglyengaging。
Pigsalsopossessedattractionsforme，neverhavinghadanopportunityofobservingtheirgracesofmindandmanner，tillIcametoWashington，whoseporcinecitizensappearedtoenjoyalargerlibertythanmanyofitshumanones。Stout，sedatelookingpigs，hurriedbyeachmorningtotheirplacesofbusiness，withapreoccupiedair，andsonorousgreetingtotheirfriends。Genteelpigs，withanextracurltotheirtails，promenadedinpairs，lunchinghereandthere，likegentlemenofleisure。Rowdypigspushedthepassersbyoffthesidewalk；tipsypigshiccoughedtheirversionof\"Wewontgohometillmorning，\"fromthegutter；anddelicateyoungpigstrippeddaintilythroughthemud，asif，like\"Mrs。Peery—bingle，\"
theyplumedthemselvesupontheirankles，andkeptthemselvesparticularlyneatinpointofstockings。Maternalpigs，withtheirinterestingfamilies，strolledbyinthesun；andoftenthepink，baby—likesquealersIaydownforanap，withatrustinProvidenceworthyofhumanimitation。
Butmoreinterestingthanofficers，ladies，mules，orpigs，weremycoloredbrothersandsisters，becausesounliketherespectablemembersofsocietyI’dknowninmoralBoston。
Herewasthegenuinearticle；no，notthegenuinearticleatall，wemustgotoAfricaforthat；butthesortofcreaturesgenerationsofslaveryhavemadethem：obsequious，trickish，lazyandignorant，yetkind—hearted，merry—tempered，quicktofeelandaccepttheleasttokenofthebrotherlylovewhichisslowlyteachingthewhitehandtograsptheblack，inthisgreatstruggleforthelibertyofboththeraces。
Havingbeenwarnednottobetoorampantonthesubjectofslavery，asseceshprinciplesflourishedevenunderthe[Page81]respectablenoseofFatherAbraham，Ihadendeavoredtowalkdiscreetly，andcurbmyunrulymember；lookingaboutmewithallmyeyes，thewhile，andsavinguptheresultofmyobservationsforfutureuse。
Ihadnotbeenthereaweekbeforetheneglected，devil—maycareexpressioninmanyofthefacesaboutme，seemedanurgentappealtoleavenursingwhitebodies，andtakesomecarefortheseblacksouls。Muchasthelazyboysandsaucygirlstormentedme，Ilikedthem，andfoundthatanyshowofinterestorfriendlinessbroughtoutthebettertraitswhichliveinthemostdegradedandforsakenofusall。Ilikedtheircheerfulness，forthedreariestoldhag，whoscrubbedalldayinthatpestilentialsteam，gossippedandgrinnedallthewayout，whennightsetherfreefromdrudgery。
Thegirlsrompedwiththeirduskysweethearts，ortossedtheirbabies，withthetenderpridethatmakesmother—loveabeautifiertothehomeliestface。Themenandboyssangandwhistledalldaylong；andoften，asI
heldmywatch，thesilenceofthenightwassweetlybrokenbysomechorusfromthestreet，fullofrealmelody，whetherthesongwasofheaven，orofhoe—cakes；and，asIlistened，Ifeltthatwenevershoulddoubtnordespairconcerningaracewhich，throughsuchgriefsandwrongs，stillclingstothisgoodgift，andseemstosolacewithitthepatientheartsthatwaitandwatchandhopeuntiltheend。
Iexpectedtohavetodefendmyselffromaccusationsofprejudiceagainstcolor；butwassurprisedtofindthingsjusttheotherway，anddailyshockedsomeneighborbytreatingtheblacksasIdidthewhites。Themenwouldswearatthe\"darkies，\"wouldputtwogsintonegro，andscoffattheideaofanygoodcomingfromsuchtrash。Thenurseswerewillingtobeservedbythecoloredpeople，butseldomthankedthem，neverpraised，andscarcelyrecognizedtheminthestreet；[Page82]whereatthebloodoftwogenerationsofabolitionistswaxedhotinmyveins，and，atthefirstopportunity，proclaimeditself，andassertedtherightoffreespeechasdoggedlyastheirrepressibleFolsomherself。
Happeningtocatchupafunnylittleblackbaby，whowastoddlingaboutthenurses’kitchen，oneday，whenIwentdowntomakeamessforsomeofmymen，aVirginiawomanstandingbyelevatedhermostprominentfeatures，withasniffofdisapprobation，exclaiming：
\"Gracious，MissP。!howcanyou？I’vebeenheresixmonths。andneversomuchastouchedthelittletoadwithapoker。\"
\"Moreshameforyou，ma’am，\"respondedMissP。；and，withthenaturalperversityofaYankee，followeduptheblowbykissing\"thetoad，\"withardor。Hisfacewasprovidentiallyascleanandshinyasifhismammahadjustpolisheditupwithacornerofherapronandadropfromthetea—kettlespout，likeoldAuntChloe，Thisrashact，andtheanti—slaverylecturethatfollowed，whileonehandstirredgruelforsickAmerica，andtheotherhuggedbabyAfrica，didnotproducethecheeringresultwhichIfondlyexpected；formycomradehenceforthregardedmeasadangerousfanatic，andmyprotegé；nearlycametohisdeathbyinsistingonswarmingupstairstomyroom，onalloccasions，andbeingwalkedonlikealittleblackspider。
IwaitedforNewYear’sdaywithmoreeagernessthanIhadeverknownbefore；and，thoughitbroughtmenogift，Ifeltrichintheactofjusticesotardilyperformedtowardsomeofthoseaboutme。Asthebellsrungmidnight，Ielectrifiedmyroom—matebydancingoutofbed，throwingupthewindow，andflappingmyhandkerchief，withafeeblecheer，inanswertotheshoutofagroupofcoloredmeninthestreet[Page83]below。Allnighttheytootedandtramped，firedcrackers，sung\"Glory，Hallelujah，\"andtookcomfort，poorsouls!intheirownway。Theskywasclear，themoonshonebenignly，amildwindblewacrosstheriver，andallgoodomensseemedtousherinthedawnofthedaywhosenoontidecannotnowbelongincoming。IfthecoloredpeoplehadtakenhandsanddancedaroundtheWhiteHouse，withafewcheersforthemuchabusedgentlemanwhohasimmortalizedhimselfbyonejustact，noPresidentcouldhavehadafinerlevee，oronetobeprouderof。
Whilethesesightsandsoundsweregoingonwithout，curioussceneswerepassingwithin，andIwaslearningthatoneofthebestmethodsoffittingoneselftobeanurseinahospital，istobeapatientthere；
forthenonlycanonewhollyrealizewhatthemensufferandsighfor；
howactsofkindnesstouchandwin；howmuchorlittlewearetothoseaboutus；andforthefirsttimereallyseethatincomingtherewehavetakenourlivesinourhands，andmayhavetopaydearlyforabriefexperience。
Everyonewasverykind；theattendantsofmywardoftencameuptoreportprogress，tofillmywoodbox，orbringmessagesandpresentsfrommyboys。
Thenursestookmanystepswiththosetiredfeetoftheirs，andseveralcameeachevening，tochatovermyfireandmakethingscozyforthenight。
Thedoctorspaiddailyvisits，tappedatmylungstoseeifpneumoniawaswithin，leftdoseswithoutnames，andwentaway，leavingmeasignorant，andmuchmoreuncomfortablethanwhentheycame。Hoursbegantogetconfused；
peoplelookedodd；queerfaceshauntedtheroom，andthenightswereonelongfightwithwearinessandpain。Lettersfromhomegrewanxious；thedoctorsliftedtheireyebrows，andnoddedominously；friendssaid\"Don’tstay，\"andaninternalrebellionsecondedtheadvice；[Page84]butthethreemonthswerenotout，andtheideaofgivingupsosoonwasproclaimingadefeatbeforeIwasfairlyrouted；sotoall\"Don’tstays\"Iopposed\"Iwills，\"till，onefinemorning，agray—headedgentlemanroselikeawelcomeghostonmyhearth；and，atthesightofhim，myresolutionmeltedaway，myheartturnedtraitortomyboys，and，whenhesaid，\"Comehome，\"Ianswered，\"Yes，father；\"andsoendedmycareerasanarmynurse。
Inevershallregretthegoing，thoughasharptusslewithtyphoid，tendollars，andawig，areallthevisibleresultsoftheexperiment；
foronemayliveandlearnmuchinamonth。Agoodfitofillnessprovesthevalueofhealth；realdangertriesone’smettle；andself—sacrificesweetenscharacter。Letnoonewhosincerelydesirestohelptheworkoninthisway，delaygoingthroughanyfear；fortheworthoflifeliesintheexperiencesthatfillit，andthisisonewhichcannotbeforgotten。
Allthatisbestandbravestintheheartsofmenandwomen，comesoutinsceneslikethese；and，thoughahospitalisaroughschool，itslessonsarebothsternandsalutary；andthehumblestofpupilsthere，inproportiontohisfaithfulness，learnsadeeperfaithinGodandinhimself。I，forone，wouldreturntomorrow，onthe\"up—again，—and—take—another\"principle，ifIcould；fortheamountofpleasureandprofitIgotoutofthatmonthcompensatesforallafterpangs；and，thoughasadlywomanishfeeling，Itakesomesatisfactioninthethoughtthat，ifIcouldnotlaymyheadonthealtarofmycountry，Ihavemyhair；andthatismorethanhandsomeHelendidforherdeadhusband，whenshesacrificedonlytheendsofherringletsonhisurn。Therefore，Iclosethislittlechapterofhospitalexperiences，withtheregretthattheywerenobetterworthrecording；
andaddthepoeticalgemwith[Page85]
whichIconsolemyselffortheuntimelydemiseof\"NursePeriwinkle：\"Oh，layherinalittlepit，Withamarblestonetocoverit；
Andcarvethereonagruelspoon，Toshowa\"nuss\"hasdiedtoosoon。ChapterVI：APostscript。ChapterVI：APostscript。CHAPTERVI。APOSTSCRIPT。MyDearS。：；AsinquirieslikeyourownhavecometomefromvariousfriendlyreadersoftheSketches，Iwillanswerthemenmasseandinprintedform，asasortofpostscripttowhathasgonebefore。Oneofthesequestionswas，\"Aretherenoservicesbyhospitaldeath—beds，oronSundays？\"
InmostHospitalsIhopethereare；inours，themendied，andwerecarriedaway，withaslittleceremonyasonabattlefield。ThefirsteventofthiskindwhichIwitnessedwassoverybrief，andbareofanythinglikereverence，sorrow，orpiousconsolation，thatIheartilyagreedwiththebluntlyexpressedopinionofaMainemanlyingnexthiscomrade，whodiedwithnovisiblehelpnearhim，butacompassionatewomanandatender—heartedIrishman，whodroppeduponhisknees，andtoldhisbeads，withCatholicfervor，forthegoodofhisProtestantbrother’spartingsoul：
\"If，aftergettin’allthehardknocks，wearelefttodie[Page87]thisway，withnothingbutaPaddy’sprayerstohelpus，IguessChristiansareratherscarceroundWashington。\"
Ithoughtsotoo；butthoughMissBlank，oneofmymates，anxiousthatsoulsshouldbeministeredto，aswellasbodies，spokemorethanoncetotheChaplain，nothingevercameofit。UnlikeanotherShepherd，whoseearnestpietyweeklypurifiedtheSenateChamber，thismandidnotfeedaswellasfoldhisflock，normakehimselfahumansymboloftheDivineSamaritan，whoneverpassesbyontheotherside。
Ihavesincelearnedthatournon—committalChaplainhadbeenaProfessorinsomeSouthernCollege；and，thoughhemaintainedthathehadnoseceshproclivities，Icantestifythathesecededfromhisministerialduties，Imaysay，skedaddled；for，beingoneofhisownwords，itisasappropriateasinelegant。HereadEmerson，quotedCarlyle，andtriedtobeaChaplain；
butjudgingfromhissuccess，IamafraidhestillhankeredafterthehominypotsofRebeldom。
Occasionally，onaSundayafternoon，suchofthenurses，officers，attendants，andpatientsascouldavailthemselvesofit，weregatheredintheBallRoom，foranhour’sservice，ofwhichthesingingwasthebetterpart。
Tomeitseemedthatifeverstrong，wise，andlovingwordswereneeded，itwasthen；ifevermortalmanhadlivingtextsbeforehiseyestoillustrateandilluminatehisthought，itwasthere；andifeverheartswerepromptedtodevoutestself—abnegation，itwasintheworkwhichbroughtustoanythingbutaChapelofEase。Butsomespiritualparalysisseemedtohavebefallenourpastor；for，thoughmanyfacesturnedtowardhim，fullofthedumbhungerthatoftencomestomenwhensufferingordangerbringsthennearertotheheartofthings，theywereofferedthechaffofdivinity，anditswheatwasleftforlessneedygleaners，whoknewwheretolook。EventhefineoldBible[Page88]stories，whichmaybemadeaslifelikeasanyhistoryofourday，byavividfancyandpictorialdiction，wererobbedofalltheircharmsbydryexplanationsandliteralapplications，insteadofbeingusefulandpleasantlessonstothosemen，whomweaknesshadrenderedasdocileaschildreninafather’shands。
Iwatchedthelistlesscountenancesallaboutme，whileamildDanielwasmoralizinginadenofutterlyuninterestinglions；whileShadrach，Meshech，andAbednegowereleisurelypassingthroughthefieryfurnace，where，Isadlyfeared，someofussincerelywishedtheyhadremainedaspermanencies；whiletheTempleofSolomonwaslaboriouslyerected，withminutedescriptionsoftheprocess，andanyquantityofbellsandpomegranatesontheraimentofthepriests。Listlesstheywereatthebeginning，andlistlessattheend；buttheinstantsomestirringoldhymnwasgivenout，sleepyeyesbrightened，loungingfiguressaterect，andmanyapoorladroseupinhisbed，orstretchaneagerhandforthebook，whileallbrokeoutwithaheartinessthatprovedthatsomewhereatthecoreofeventhemostabandoned，therestillglowedsomeremnantofthenativepietythatflowsinmusicfromtheheartofeverylittlechild。Eventhebigrebeljoined，andboomedawayinathunderousbass，singing；\"Salvation!lettheechoesfly，\"asenergeticallyasifhefelttheneedofaspeedyexecutionofthecommand。
Thatwasthepleasantestmomentofthehour，forthenitseemedahomelikeandhappyspot；thegroupsofmenlookingoveroneanother’sshouldersastheysang；thefewsilentfiguresinthebeds；hereandthereawomannoiselesslyperformingsomenecessaryduty，andsingingassheworked；[Page89]whileinthearmchairstandinginthemidst，Iplaced，formyownsatisfaction，theimaginarylikenessofacertainfaithfulpastor，whotookalloutcastsbythehand，smotethedevilinwhateverguisehecame，andcomfortedtheindigentinspiritwiththebestwisdomofagreatandtenderheart，whichstillspeakstousfromitsItaliangrave。Withthataddition，mypicturewascomplete；andIoftenlongedtotakeaveritablesketchofaHospitalSunday，for，despiteitsdrawbacks，consistingofcontinuedlabor，thewantofproperbooks，thebarrenpreachingthatborenofruit，thisdaywasneverliketheothersix。
Truetotheirhometraining，ourNewEnglandboysdidtheirbesttomakeitwhatitshouldbe。Withmany，therewasmuchreadingofTestaments，hummingoveroffavoritehymns，andlookingatsuchbooksasIcouldcullfromamiscellaneouslibrary。Somelayidle，slept，orgossiped；yet，whenIcametothemforaquieteveningchat，theyoftentalkedfreelyandwellofthemselves；wouldblunderoutsometimidhopethattheirtroublesmight\"do’emgood，andkeep’emstiddy；\"wouldchokealittle，astheysaidgoodnight，andturnedtheirfacestothewalltothinkofmother，wife，orhome，thesehumantiesseemingtobethemostvitalreligionwhichtheyyetknew。Iobservedthatsomeofthemdidnotweartheircapsonthisday，thoughatothertimestheyclungtothemlikeQuakers；wearingtheminbed，puttingthemontoreadthepaper，eatanapple，orwritealetter，asif，likeanewsortofSamson，theirstrengthlay，notintheirhair，butintheirhats。Manyreadnonovels，sworeless，weremoresilent，orderly，andcheerful，asiftheLordwereaninvisibleWardmaster，whowenthisroundsbutonceaweek，andmustfindallthingsattheirbest。Ilikedallthisinthepoor，roughboys，andcouldhavefounditinmyhearttoputdownsponge[Page90]andtea—pot，andpreachalittlesermonthenandthere，whilehomesicknessandpainhadmadethesenaturessoft，thatsomegoodseedmightbecasttherein，toblossomandbearfruithereorhereafter。
Regardingtheadmissionoffriendstonursetheirsick，Icanonlysay，itwasnotallowedatHurlburlyHouse；thoughoneindomitableparenttookmywardbystorm，andheldherposition，inspiteofdoctors，matron，andNursePeriwinkle。Thoughitwasagainsttherules，thoughtheculpritwasanacid，frost—bittenfemale，thoughtheyoungmanwouldhavedonequiteaswellwithoutheranxiousfussiness，andthewholeroom—fullbeenmuchmorecomfortable，therewassomethingsoirresistibleinthispersistentdevotion，thatnoonehadthehearttooustherfromherpost。Shesleptonthefloor，withoututteringacomplaint；borejokessomewhatoftherudest；faredscantily，thoughherbasketwasdailyfilledwithluxuriesforherboy；andtendedthatpetulantpersonagewithanever—failingpatiencebeautifultosee。
Ifeelaglowofmoralrectitudeinsayingthisofher；for，thoughaperfectpelicantoheryoung，shepeckedandcackled（Idon’tknowthatpelicansusuallyexpresstheiremotionsinthatmanner，）mostobstreperously，whenothersinvadedherpremises；andledmeawearylife，with\"George’stea—rusks，\"\"George’sfootbath，\"\"George’smeasles，\"and\"George’smother；\"
tillafterasharppassageofarmsandtongueswiththematron，shewrathfullypackedupherrusks，herson，andherself，anddeparted，inanambulance，scoldingtotheverylast。
Thisisthecomicsideofthematter。Theseriousoneishardertodescribe；
forthepresence，howeverbrief，ofrelationsandfriendsbythebedsideofthedeadordying，isalwaysatrialtothebystanders。Theyarenotnearenough[Page91]toknowhowbesttocomfort，yettooneartoturntheirbacksuponthesorrowthatfindsitsonlysolaceinlisteningtorecitalsoflastwords，breathedintonurse’sears，orreceivingthetenderlegaciesofloveandlongingbequeathedthroughthem。
Tome，thesaddestsightIsawinthatsadplace，wasthespectacleofagrey—hairedfather，sittinghourafterhourbyhisson，dyingfromthepoisonofhiswound。Theoldfather，haleandhearty；theyoungson，pastallhelp，thoughonecouldscarcelybelieveit；forthesubtlefever，burninghisstrengthaway，flushedhischeekswithcolor，filledhiseyeswithlustre，andlentamournfulmockeryofhealthtofaceandfigure，makingthepoorladcomelierindeaththaninlife。Hisbedwasnotinmyward；butIwasofteninandout，andforadayortwo，thepairweremuchtogether，sayinglittle，butlookingmuch。Theoldmantriedtobusyhimselfwithbookorpen，thathispresencemightnotbeaburden；andoncewhenhesatwriting，totheanxiousmotherathome，doubtless，Isawtheson’seyesfixuponhisface，withalookofmingledresignationandregret，asifendeavoringtoteachhimselftosaycheerfullythelonggoodbye。Andagain，whenthesonslept，thefatherwatchedhimashehadhimselfbeenwatched；andthoughnofeatureofhisgravecountenancechanged，theroughhand，smoothingthelockofhairuponthepillow，thebowedattitudeofthegreyhead，weremorepatheticthantheloudestlamentations。Thesondied；andthefathertookhomethepalerelicofthelifehegave，offeringalittlemoneytothenurse，astheonlyvisiblereturnitwasinhispowertomakeher；forthoughverygrateful，hewaspoor。Ofcourse，shedidnottakeit，butfoundarichercompensationintheoldman’searnestdeclaration：[Page92]
\"Myboycouldn’thavebeenbettercaredforifhe’dbeenathome；andGodwillrewardyouforit，thoughIcan’t。\"
Myownexperiencesofthissortbeganwhenmyfirstmandied。Hehadscarcelybeenremoved，whenhiswifecamein。Hereyewentstraighttothewell—knownbed；itwasempty；andfeeling，yetnotbelievingthehardtruth，shecriedout，withalookInevershallforget：
\"Why，where’sEmanuel？\"
Ihadneverseenherbefore，didnotknowherrelationshiptothemanwhomIhadonlynursedforaday，andwasabouttotellherhewasgone，whenMcGee，thetender—heartedIrishmanbeforementioned，brushedbymewithacheerful；\"It’sshiftedtoabetterbedheis，Mrs。Connel。Comeout，dear，tillIshowye；\"and，takinghergentlybythearm，heledhertothematron，whobroketheheavytidingstothewife，andcomfortedthewidow。
Anotherday，runninguptomyroomforabreathoffreshairandafiveminutesrestafteradisagreeabletask，Ifoundastoutyoungwomansittingonmybed，wearingthemiserablelookwhichIhadlearnedtoknowbythattime。Seeingher，remindedmethatIhadheardofsomeone’sdyinginthenight，andhissister’sarrivinginthemorning。Thismustbeshe，Ithought。
Ipitiedherwithallmyheart。WhatcouldIsayordo？Wordsalwaysseemimpertinentatsuchtimes；Ididnotknowtheman；thewomanwasneitherinterestinginherselfnorgracefulinhergrief；yet，havingknownasister’ssorrowmyself，Icouldhavenotleaveheralonewithhertroubleinthatstrangeplace，withoutaword。So，feelingheart—sick，home—sick，andnotknowingwhatelsetodo，Ijustputmyarmsabouther，andbegantocryinaveryhelplessbutheartyway；for，asIseldomindulgeinthismoistluxury，Iliketoenjoyitwithallmymight，whenIdo。[Page93]
ItsohappenedIcouldnothavedoneabetterthing；for，thoughnotawordwasspoken，eachfelttheother’ssympathy；and，inthesilence，ourhandkerchiefsweremoreeloquentthanwords。Shesoonsobbedherselfquiet；andleavingheronmybed，Iwentbacktowork，feelingmuchrefreshedbytheshower，thoughI’dforgottentorest，andhadwashedmyfaceinsteadofmyhands。Imentionthissuccessfulexperienceasareceiptprovedandapproved，fortheuseofanynursewhomayfindherselfcalledupontoministertothesewoundsoftheheart。Theywillfinditmoreefficaciousthancupsoftea，smelling—bottles，psalms，orsermons；forafriendlytouchandacompanionablecry，unitetheconsolationsofalltherestforwomankind；and，ifgenuine，willbefoundasovereigncureforthefirstsharppangsomanysufferintheseheavytimes。
IamgratifiedtofindthatmylittleSergeanthasfoundfavorinseveralquarters，andgladlyrespondtosundrycallsfornewsofhim，thoughmypersonalknowledgeendedfivemonthsago。NexttomygoodJohn；Ihopethegrassisgreenabovehim，farawaythereinVirginia!；IplacedtheSergeantonmylistofworthyboys；andmanyjovialchathaveIenjoyedwiththemerry—heartedlad，whohadafancyforfun，whenhispoorarmwasdressed。WhileDr。P。pokedandstrapped，IbrushedtheremainsoftheSergeant’sbrownmane；shornsorelyagainsthiswill；andgossipedwithallmymight，theboymakingoddfaces，exclamations，andappeals，whennervesgotthebetterofnonsense，astheysometimesdid：
\"I’dratherlaughthancry，whenImustsingoutanyhow，sojustsaythatbitfromDickensagain，please，andI’llstanditlikeaman。\"Hedid；for\"Mrs。Cluppins，\"\"Chadband，\"and\"SamWeller，\"alwayshelpedhimthrough；[Page94]therebycausingmetolayanotherofferingofloveandadmirationontheshrineofthegodofmyidolatry，thoughhedoesweartoomuchjewelryandtalkslang。
TheSergeantalsooriginated，Ibelieve，thefashionofcallinghisneighborsbytheirafflictionsinsteadoftheirnames；andIwasrathertakenabackbyhearingthembandyremarksofthissort，withperfectgoodhumorandmuchenjoymentofthenewgame。
\"Hallo，oldFitsisoffagain!\"\"Howareyou，Rheumatiz？\"\"Willyoutradeapples，Ribs？\"\"Isay，MissP。mayIgiveTypusadrinkofthis？\"
\"Lookhere，NoToes，lendusastamp，there’sagoodfeller，\"etc。Hehimselfwaschristened\"BabyB。，\"becausehetendedhisarmonalittlepillow，andcalledithisinfant。
VeryfussyabouthisgrubwasSergeantB。，andmuchtrottingofattendantswasnecessarywhenhepartookofnourishment。AnythingmoreirresistiblywheedlesomeIneversaw，andconstantlyfoundmyselfindulginghim，likethemostweak—mindedparent，merelyforthepleasureofseeinghisblueeyestwinkle，hismerrymouthbreakintoasmile，andhisonehandexecuteajauntylittlesalutethatwasentirelycaptivating。IamafraidthatNurseP。damagedherdignity，frolickingwiththispersuasiveyounggentleman，thoughdoneforhiswellbeing。But\"boyswillbeboys，\"isperfectlyapplicabletothecase；for，inspiteofyears，sexandthe\"prunes—and—prisms\"doctrinelaiddownforouruse，Ihaveafellowfeelingforlads，andalwaysowedFateagrudgebecauseIwasn’talordofcreationinsteadofalady。
SinceIleft，Ihaveheard，fromareliablesource，thatmySergeanthasgonehome；therefore，thesmallromancethatbuddedthefirstdayI
sawhim，hasblossomedintoitssecondchapter，andInowimagine\"dearestJane\"fillingmyplace，[Page95]tendingthewoundsItended，brushingthecurlyjungleIbrushed，lovingtheexcellentlittleyouthIloved，andeventuallywalkingaltarward，withtheSergeantstumpinggallantlyatherside。Ifshedoesn’tdoallthis，andnoendmore，I’llneverforgiveher；andsincerelypraytotheguardiansaintoflovers，that\"BabyB。\"mayprosperinhiswooing，andhisnamebelongintheland。
Oneofthelivelyepisodesofhospitallife，isthefrequentmarchingawayofsuchasarewellenoughtorejointheirregiments，orbetakethemselvestosomeconvalescentcamp。Thewardmastercomestothedoorofeachroomthatistobethinned，readsoffalistofnames，bidstheirownerslooksharpandbereadywhencalledfor；and，ashevanishes，theroomsfallintoanindescribablestateoftopsy—turvyness，astheboysbegintoblacktheirboots，brightenspurs，iftheyhavethem，overhaulknapsacks，makepresents；arefittedoutwithneedfuls，and；well，whynot？；kissedsometimes，astheysay，goodby；forinallhumanprobabilityweshallnevermeetagain，andawoman’sheartyearnsoveranythingthathasclungtoherforhelpandcomfort。Ineverlikedthesebreakings—upofmylittlehousehold：thoughmyshortstayshowedmebutthree。IwasimmenselygratifiedbythehandshakesIgot，fortheirsomewhatpainfulcordialityassuredmethatIhadnottriedinvain。ThebigPrussianrumbledouthisunintelligibleadieux，withagratefulfaceandapremonitorysmoothofhisyellowmustache，butgotnofarther，forsomeoneelsesteppedup，withalargebrownhandextended，andthisrecommendationofourveryfaultyestablishment：
\"We’reoff，ma’am，andI’mpowerfulsorry，forI’dnoideaa’orspittlewassuchajollyplace。HopeI’llgitanotherball[Page96]somewhereseasy，soI’llcomeback，andbetookcareonagain。
Mean，ain’tit？\"
Ididn’tthinkso，butthedoctrineofingloriouseasewasnottherightonetopreachup，soItriedtolookshocked，failedsignally，andconsoledmyselfbygivinghimthefatpincushionhehadadmiredasthe\"cutestlittlemachineagoin。\"Thentheyfellintolineinfrontofthehouse，lookingratherwanandfeeble，someofthem，buttryingtostepoutsmartlyandmarchingoodorder，thoughhalftheknapsackswerecarriedbytheguard，andseveralleanedonsticksinsteadofshoulderingguns。Alllookedupandsmiled，orwavedheirhandsandtouchedtheircaps，astheypassedunderourwindowsdownthelongstreet，andsoaway，sometotheirhomesinthisworld，andsometothatinthenext；and，fortherestoftheday，IfeltlikeRachelmourningforherchildren，whenIsawtheemptybedsandmissedthefamiliarfaces。
Youaskifnursesareobligedtowitnessamputationsandsuchmatters，asapartoftheirduty？Ithinknot，unlesstheywish；forthepatientisundertheeffectsofether，andneedsnocarebutsuchasthesurgeonscanbestgive。Ourworkbeginsafterward，whenthepoorsoulcomestohimself，sick，faint，andwandering；fullofstrangepainsandconfusedvisions，ofdisagreeablesensationsandsights。Thenwemustsoothandsustain，tendandwatch；preachingandpracticingpatience，tillsleepandtimehaverestoredcourageandself—control。
Iwitnessedseveraloperations；fortheheightofmyambitionwastogotothefrontafterabattle，andfeelingthatthesoonerIinuredmyselftotryingsights，themoreusefulIshouldbe。Severalofmymatesshrunkfromsuchthings；forthoughthe[Page97]
spiritwaswhollywilling，thefleshwasinconvenientlyweak。Onefunerealladycametotryherpowersasanurse；but，abriefconversationelicitingthefactsthatshefaintedatthesightofblood，wasafraidtowatchalone，couldn’tpossiblytakecareofdeliriouspersons，wasnervousaboutinfections，andunabletobearmuchfatigue，shewasmildlydismissed。Ihopeshefoundhersphere，butfancyacomfortablebandboxonahighshelfwouldbestmeettherequirementsofhercase。
Dr。Z。suggestedthatIshouldwitnessadissection；butIneveracceptedhisinvitations，thinkingthatmynervesbelongedtotheliving，nottothedead，andIhadbetterfinishmyeducationasanursebeforeIbeganthatofasurgeon。ButInevermetthelittlemanskippingthroughthehall，withoddlyshapedcasesinhishand，andanabsorbedexpressionofcountenance，withoutbeingsurethataselectpartyofsurgeonswereatworkinthedeadhouse，whichideawasarathertryingone，whenIknewthesubjectwassomepersonwhomIhadnursedandcaredfor。
Butthismustnotleadanyonetosupposethatthesurgeonswerewillfullyhardorcruel，thoughoneofthemremorsefullyconfidedtomethathefearedhisprofessionbluntedhissensibilities，andperhaps，renderedhimindifferenttothesightofpain。
Iaminclinedtothinkthatinsomecasesitdoes；for，thoughacapitalsurgeonandakindlyman，Dr。P。，throughlongacquaintancewithmanyoftheillsfleshisheirto，hadacquiredasomewhattryinghabitofregardingamanandhiswoundasseparateinstitutions，andseemedratherannoyedthattheformershouldexpressanyopinionuponthelatter，orclaimanyrightinit，whileunderhiscare。Hehadawayoftwitchingoffabandage，andgivingalimbacomprehensivesortofclutch，whichthoughnodoubtentirelyscientific，was[Page98]ratherstartlingthansoothing，andhighlyobjectionableasameansofpreparingnervesforanyfreshtrial。Healsoexpectedthepatienttoassistinsmalloperations，asheconsideredthem，andtorestrainalldemonstrationsduringtheprocess。
\"Here，myman，justholditthisway，whileIlookintoitabit，\"hesaidonedaytoFitzG。，puttingawoundedarmintothekeepingofasoundone，andproceedingtopokeaboutamongbitsofboneandvisiblemuscles，inaredandblackchasmmadebysomeinfernalmachineoftheshotorshelldescription。PoorFitzheldonlikeagrimDeath，ashamedtoshowfearbeforeawoman，tillitgrewmorethanhecouldbearinsilence；and，afterafewsmotheredgroans，helookedatmeimploringly，asifhesaid，\"I
wouldn’t，ma；am，ifIcouldhelpit，\"andfaintedquietlyaway。
Dr。P。lookedup，gaveacompassionatesortofcluck，andpokedawaymorebusilythanever，withanodatmeandabrief；\"Nevermind；besogoodastoholdthistillIfinish。\"
Iobeyed，cherishingthewhileastrongdesiretoinsinuateafewofhisowndisagreeableknivesandscissorsintohim，andseehowhelikedit。Averydisrespectfulandridiculousfancyofcourse；forhewasdoingallthatcouldbedone，andthearmprosperedfinelyinhishands。Butthehumanmindispronetoprejudice；andthoughapersonableman，speakingFrenchlikeaborn\"Parleyvoo，\"andwhippingofflegslikeananimatedguillotine，Imustconfesstoasenseofreliefwhenhewasorderedelsewhere；
andsuspectthatseveralofthemenwouldhavefacedarebelbatterywithlesstrepidationthantheydidDr。P。，whenhecamebrisklyinonhismorninground。
Asiftogiveusthepleasuresofcontrast，Dr。Z。succeededhim，who，Ithink，sufferedmoreingivingpainthandidhis[Page99]patientsinenduringit；forheoftenpausedtoask：\"DoIhurtyou？\"andseeinghissolicitude，theboysinvariablyanswered：\"Notmuch；goahead，Doctor，\"thoughthelipsthatutteredthisamiablefibmightbewhitewithpainastheyspoke。Overthedressingofsomeofthewounds，weusedtocarryonconversationsuponsubjectsforeigntotheworkinhand，thatthepatientmightforgethimselfinthecharmsofourdiscourse。Christmasevewasspentinthisway；theDoctorstrappingthelittleSergeant’sarm，Iholdingthelamp，whileallthreelaughedandtalked，asifanywherebutinahospitalward；exceptwhenthechatwasbrokenbyalong—drawn\"Oh!\"from\"BabyB。，\"anabruptrequestfromtheDoctorto\"Holdthelampalittlehigher，please，\"oranencouraging，\"’Mostthrough，Sergeant，\"fromNurseP。
ThechiefSurgeon，Dr。O。，Iwastold，refusedthehighersalary，greaterhonor，andlesslabor，ofanappointmenttotheOfficer’sHospital，roundthecorner，thathemightservethepoorfellowsatHurlyburlyHouse，orgotothefront，workingtheredayandnight，amongthehorrorsthatsucceedthegloriesofabattle。Ilikedthatsomuch，thatthequiet，brown—eyedDoctorwasmyespecialadmiration；andwhenmyownturncame，hadmorefaithinhimthaninalltherestputtogether，althoughhedidadvisemetogohome，andauthorizetheconsumptionofbluepills。
Speakingofthesurgeonsremindsmethat，havingfoundallmanneroffault，itbecomesmetocelebratetheredeemingfeatureofHurlyburlyHouse。
Ihadbeenpreparedbytheaccountsofothers，toexpectmuchhumiliationofspiritfromthesurgeons，andtobetreatedbythemlikeadoor—mat，aworm，oranyothermeekandlowlyarticle，whosemissionitistobeputdownandwalkedupon；nursesbeingconsideredasmereservants，receivingthelowestpay，and，it’smyprivate[Page100]
opinion，doingthehardestworkofanypartofthearmy，exceptthemules。
Great，therefore，wasmysurprise，whenIfoundmyselftreatedwiththeutmostcourtesyandkindness。Verysoonmycarefullypreparedmeeknesswaslaidupontheshelf；and，goingfromoneextremetotheother，Imorethanonceexpressedadifferenceofopinionregardingsundrymessesitwasmypainfuldutytoadminister。
Aseightofusnurseschancedtobeoffdutyatonce，wehadanexcellentopportunityoftryingthevirtuesofthesegentlemen；andIamboundtosaytheystoodthetestadmirably，asfarasmypersonalobservationwent。
Dr。O。’sstethescopewasunremittinginitsattentions；Dr。S。broughthisbuttonsintomyroomtwiceaday，withtheregularityofamedicalclock；whileDr。Z。filledmytablewithneatlittlebottles，whichIneveremptied，prescribedBrowning，bedewedmewithCologne，andkeptmyfiregoing，asif，likethecandlesinSt。Peter’s，itmustneverbepermittedtodieout。Waking，onecoldnight，withthecertaintythatmylastsparkhadpinedawayanddied，andconsequentlyhoursofcoughingwereinstoreforme，Iwasamazedtoseearuddylightdancingonthewall，ajollyblazeroaringupthechimney，and，downuponhiskneesbeforeit，Dr。Z。，whittlingshavings。Ioughttohaverisenupandthankedhimonthespot；
but，knowingthathewasoneofthosewholiketodogoodbystealth，I
onlypeepedathimasifhewereafriendlyghost；till，havingmadethingsascozyasthemostmotherlyofnursescouldhavedone，hecreptaway，leavingmetofeel，assomebodysays，\"asifangelswereawatchingofmeinmysleep；\"thoughthatspeciesofwildfowldonotusuallydescendinbroadclothandglasses。IafterwardsdiscoveredthathesplitthewoodhimselfonthatcoolJanuarymidnight，andwentaboutmakingormendingfiresforthepooroldladiesintheir[Page101]dismaldens；thuscausinghimselftobefelt；abrightandshininglightinmorewaysthanone。IneverthankedhimasIought；
therefore，Ipubliclymakeanoteofit，andfurtheraggravatethatmodestM。D。bysayingthatifthiswasnotbeingthebestofdoctorsandthegentlestofgentlemen，Ishallbehappytoseeanyimprovementuponit。
Tosuchaswishtoknowwherethesescenestookplace，Imustrespectfullydeclinetoanswer；forHurly—burlyHousehasceasedtoexistasahospital；
soletitrest，withallitssinsuponitshead，；perhapsIshouldsaychimneytop。Whenthenursesfeltill，thedoctorsdeparted，andthepatientsgotwell，Ibelievetheconcerngentlyfadedfromexistence，orwasmergedintosomeotherandbetterestablishment，whereIhopethewashingofthreehundredsickpeopleisdoneoutofthehouse，thefoodiseatable，andmortalwomenarenotexpectedtopossessanangelicexemptionfromallwants，andtheenduranceoftruckhorses。
SincetheappearanceofthesehastySketches，IhaveheardfromseveralofmycomradesattheHospital；andtheirapprovalassuresmethatIhavenotletsympathyandfancyrunawaywithme，asthatlivelyteamisapttodowhenharnessedtoapen。Asnotwopersonsseethesamethingwiththesameeyes，myviewofhospitallifemustbetakenthroughmyglass，andheldforwhatitisworth。Certainly，nothingwassetdowninmalice，andtotheserious—mindedpartywhoobjectedtoatoneoflevityinsomeportionsoftheSketches，Icanonlysaythatitisapartofmyreligiontolookwellafterthecheerfulnessesoflife，andletthedismalsshiftforthemselves；believing，withgoodSirThomasMore，thatitiswiseto\"bemerrieinGod。\"
ThenexthospitalIenterwill，Ihope，beoneforthecoloredregiments，astheyseemtobeprovingtheirrightto[Page102]theadmirationandkindofficesoftheirwhiterelations，whoowethemsolargeadebt，alittlepartofwhichIshallbesoproudtopay。Yours，WithafirmfaithInthegoodtimecoming，TRIBULATIONPERIWINKLE。