ACTISCENEI。ThekingofNavarre’spark。EnterFERDINANDkingofNavarre，BIRON，LONGAVILLEandDUMAINFERDINANDLetfame，thatallhuntafterintheirlives，Liveregister’duponourbrazentombsAndthengraceusinthedisgraceofdeath；
When，spiteofcormorantdevouringTime，TheendeavorofthispresentbreathmaybuyThathonourwhichshallbatehisscythe’skeenedgeAndmakeusheirsofalleternity。
Therefore，braveconquerors，——forsoyouare，ThatwaragainstyourownaffectionsAndthehugearmyoftheworld’sdesires，——
Ourlateedictshallstronglystandinforce：
Navarreshallbethewonderoftheworld；
OurcourtshallbealittleAcademe，Stillandcontemplativeinlivingart。
Youthree，Biron，Dumain，andLongaville，Haveswornforthreeyears’termtolivewithmeMyfellow—scholars，andtokeepthosestatutesThatarerecordedinthisschedulehere：
Youroathsarepass’d；andnowsubscribeyournames，ThathisownhandmaystrikehishonourdownThatviolatesthesmallestbranchherein：
Ifyouarearm’dtodoassworntodo，Subscribetoyourdeepoaths，andkeepittoo。LONGAVILLEIamresolved；’tisbutathreeyears’
fast：
Themindshallbanquet，thoughthebodypine：
Fatpauncheshaveleanpates，anddaintybitsMakerichtheribs，butbankruptquitethewits。DUMAINMylovinglord，Dumainismortified：
Thegrossermanneroftheseworld’sdelightsHethrowsuponthegrossworld’sbaserslaves：
Tolove，towealth，topomp，Ipineanddie；
Withalltheselivinginphilosophy。BIRONIcanbutsaytheirprotestationover；
Somuch，dearliege，Ihavealreadysworn，Thatis，toliveandstudyherethreeyears。
Butthereareotherstrictobservances；
As，nottoseeawomaninthatterm，WhichIhopewellisnotenrolledthere；
AndonedayinaweektotouchnofoodAndbutonemealoneverydaybeside，ThewhichIhopeisnotenrolledthere；
Andthen，tosleepbutthreehoursinthenight，Andnotbeseentowinkofalltheday——
WhenIwaswonttothinknoharmallnightAndmakeadarknighttooofhalftheday——
WhichIhopewellisnotenrolledthere：
O，thesearebarrentasks，toohardtokeep，Nottoseeladies，study，fast，notsleep!FERDINANDYouroathispass’dtopassawayfromthese。BIRONLetmesayno，myliege，anifyouplease：
IonlysworetostudywithyourgraceAndstayhereinyourcourtforthreeyears’space。LONGAVILLEYousworetothat，Biron，andtotherest。BIRONByyeaandnay，sir，thenIsworeinjest。
Whatistheendofstudy？letmeknow。FERDINANDWhy，thattoknow，whichelseweshouldnotknow。BIRONThingshidandbarr’d，youmean，fromcommonsense？FERDINANDAy，thatisstudy’sgodlikerecompense。BIRONComeon，then；Iwillsweartostudyso，ToknowthethingIamforbidtoknow：
Asthus，——tostudywhereIwellmaydine，WhenItofeastexpresslyamforbid；
Orstudywheretomeetsomemistressfine，Whenmistressesfromcommonsensearehid；
Or，havingsworntoohardakeepingoath，Studytobreakitandnotbreakmytroth。
Ifstudy’sgainbethusandthisbeso，Studyknowsthatwhichyetitdothnotknow：
Swearmetothis，andIwillne’ersayno。FERDINANDThesebethestopsthathinderstudyquiteAndtrainourintellectstovaindelight。BIRONWhy，alldelightsarevain；butthatmostvain，Whichwithpainpurchaseddothinheritpain：
As，painfullytoporeuponabookToseekthelightoftruth；whiletruththewhileDothfalselyblindtheeyesightofhislook：
Lightseekinglightdothlightoflightbeguile：
So，ereyoufindwherelightindarknesslies，Yourlightgrowsdarkbylosingofyoureyes。
StudymehowtopleasetheeyeindeedByfixingituponafairereye，Whodazzlingso，thateyeshallbehisheedAndgivehimlightthatitwasblindedby。
Studyisliketheheaven’sglorioussunThatwillnotbedeep—search’dwithsaucylooks：
SmallhavecontinualplodderseverwonSavebaseauthorityfromothers’booksTheseearthlygodfathersofheaven’slightsThatgiveanametoeveryfixedstarHavenomoreprofitoftheirshiningnightsThanthosethatwalkandwotnotwhattheyare。
Toomuchtoknowistoknownoughtbutfame；
Andeverygodfathercangiveaname。FERDINANDHowwellhe’sread，toreasonagainstreading!DUMAINProceededwell，tostopallgoodproceeding!LONGAVILLEHeweedsthecornandstillletsgrowtheweeding。BIRONThespringisnearwhengreengeesearea—breeding。DUMAINHowfollowsthat？BIRONFitinhisplaceandtime。DUMAINInreasonnothing。BIRONSomethingtheninrhyme。FERDINANDBironislikeanenvioussneapingfrost，Thatbitesthefirst—borninfantsofthespring。BIRONWell，sayIam；whyshouldproudsummerboastBeforethebirdshaveanycausetosing？
WhyshouldIjoyinanyabortivebirth？
AtChristmasInomoredesirearoseThanwishasnowinMay’snew—fangledmirth；
Butlikeofeachthingthatinseasongrows。
Soyou，tostudynowitistoolate，Climbo’erthehousetounlockthelittlegate。FERDINANDWell，sityouout：gohome，Biron：adieu。BIRONNo，mygoodlord；Ihavesworntostaywithyou：
AndthoughIhaveforbarbarismspokemoreThanforthatangelknowledgeyoucansay，YetconfidentI’llkeepwhatIhavesworeAndbidethepenanceofeachthreeyears’day。
Givemethepaper；letmereadthesame；
Andtothestrict’stdecreesI’llwritemyname。FERDINANDHowwellthisyieldingrescuestheefromshame!BIRON[Reads]’Item，Thatnowomanshallcomewithinamileofmycourt：’Haththisbeenproclaimed？LONGAVILLEFourdaysago。BIRONLet’sseethepenalty。
Reads’Onpainoflosinghertongue。’Whodevisedthispenalty？LONGAVILLEMarry，thatdidI。BIRONSweetlord，andwhy？LONGAVILLETofrightthemhencewiththatdreadpenalty。BIRONAdangerouslawagainstgentility!
Reads’Item，Ifanymanbeseentotalkwithawomanwithinthetermofthreeyears，heshallenduresuchpublicshameastherestofthecourtcanpossiblydevise。’
Thisarticle，myliege，yourselfmustbreak；
ForwellyouknowherecomesinembassyTheFrenchking’sdaughterwithyourselftospeak——
Amaidofgraceandcompletemajesty——
AboutsurrenderupofAquitaineToherdecrepit，sickandbedridfather：
Thereforethisarticleismadeinvain，Orvainlycomestheadmiredprincesshither。FERDINANDWhatsayyou，lords？Why，thiswasquiteforgot。BIRONSostudyevermoreisovershot：
WhileitdothstudytohavewhatitwouldItdothforgettodothethingitshould，Andwhenithaththethingithuntethmost，’Tiswonastownswithfire，sowon，solost。FERDINANDWemustofforcedispensewiththisdecree；
Shemustliehereonmerenecessity。BIRONNecessitywillmakeusallforswornThreethousandtimeswithinthisthreeyears’
space；
Foreverymanwithhisaffectsisborn，Notbymightmaster’dbutbyspecialgrace：
IfIbreakfaith，thiswordshallspeakforme；
Iamforswornon’merenecessity。’
SotothelawsatlargeIwritemyname：
SubscribesAndhethatbreaksthemintheleastdegreeStandsinattainderofeternalshame：
Suggestionsaretootherastome；
ButIbelieve，althoughIseemsoloath，Iamthelastthatwilllastkeephisoath。
Butistherenoquickrecreationgranted？FERDINANDAy，thatthereis。Ourcourt，youknow，ishauntedWitharefinedtravellerofSpain；
Amaninalltheworld’snewfashionplanted，Thathathamintofphrasesinhisbrain；
OnewhomthemusicofhisownvaintongueDothravishlikeenchantingharmony；
Amanofcomplements，whomrightandwrongHavechoseasumpireoftheirmutiny：
Thischildoffancy，thatArmadohight，ForinterimtoourstudiesshallrelateInhigh—bornwordstheworthofmanyaknightFromtawnySpainlostintheworld’sdebate。
Howyoudelight，mylords，Iknownot，I；
But，Iprotest，IlovetohearhimlieAndIwillusehimformyminstrelsy。BIRONArmadoisamostillustriouswight，Amanoffire—newwords，fashion’sownknight。LONGAVILLECostardtheswainandheshallbeoursport；
Andsotostudy，threeyearsisbutshort。
EnterDULLwithaletter，andCOSTARDDULLWhichistheduke’sownperson？BIRONThis，fellow：whatwouldst？DULLImyselfreprehendhisownperson，forIamhisgrace’stharborough：butIwouldseehisownpersoninfleshandblood。BIRONThisishe。DULLSigniorArme——Arme——commendsyou。There’svillanyabroad：thisletterwilltellyoumore。COSTARDSir，thecontemptsthereofareastouchingme。FERDINANDAletterfromthemagnificentArmado。BIRONHowlowsoeverthematter，IhopeinGodforhighwords。LONGAVILLEAhighhopeforalowheaven：Godgrantuspatience!BIRONTohear？orforbearlaughing？LONGAVILLETohearmeekly，sir，andtolaughmoderately；
ortoforbearboth。BIRONWell，sir，beitasthestyleshallgiveuscausetoclimbinthemerriness。COSTARDThematteristome，sir，asconcerningJaquenetta。
Themannerofitis，Iwastakenwiththemanner。BIRONInwhatmanner？COSTARDInmannerandformfollowing，sir；allthosethree：
Iwasseenwithherinthemanor—house，sittingwithherupontheform，andtakenfollowingherintothepark；which，puttogether，isinmannerandformfollowing。Now，sir，forthemanner，——itisthemannerofamantospeaktoawoman：fortheform，——
insomeform。BIRONForthefollowing，sir？COSTARDAsitshallfollowinmycorrection：
andGoddefendtheright!FERDINANDWillyouhearthisletterwithattention？BIRONAswewouldhearanoracle。COSTARDSuchisthesimplicityofmantohearkenaftertheflesh。FERDINAND[Reads]’Greatdeputy，thewelkin’svicegerentandsoledominatorofNavarre，mysoul’searth’sgod，andbody’sfosteringpatron。’COSTARDNotawordofCostardyet。FERDINAND[Reads]’Soitis，’——COSTARDItmaybeso：butifhesayitisso，heis，intellingtrue，butso。FERDINANDPeace!COSTARDBetomeandeverymanthatdaresnotfight!FERDINANDNowords!COSTARDOfothermen’ssecrets，Ibeseechyou。FERDINAND[Reads]’Soitis，besiegedwithsable—colouredmelancholy，Ididcommendtheblack—oppressinghumourtothemostwholesomephysicofthyhealth—givingair；and，asIamagentleman，betookmyselftowalk。Thetimewhen。Aboutthesixthhour；whenbeastsmostgraze，birdsbestpeck，andmensitdowntothatnourishmentwhichiscalledsupper：somuchforthetimewhen。Nowforthegroundwhich；
which，Imean，Iwalkedupon：itisy—clepedthypark。
Thenfortheplacewhere；where，Imean，Ididencounterthatobsceneandpreposterousevent，thatdrawethfrommysnow—whitepentheebon—colouredink，whichherethouviewest，beholdest，surveyest，orseest；
buttotheplacewhere；itstandethnorth—north—eastandbyeastfromthewestcornerofthycurious—
knottedgarden：theredidIseethatlow—spiritedswain，thatbaseminnowofthymirth，’——COSTARDMe？FERDINAND[Reads]’thatunletteredsmall—knowingsoul，’——COSTARDMe？FERDINAND[Reads]’thatshallowvassal，’——COSTARDStillme？FERDINAND[Reads]’which，asIremember，hightCostard，’——COSTARDO，me!FERDINAND[Reads]’sortedandconsorted，contrarytothyestablishedproclaimededictandcontinentcanon，whichwith，——O，with——butwiththisIpassiontosaywherewith，——COSTARDWithawench。FERDINAND[Reads]’withachildofourgrandmotherEve，afemale；or，forthymoresweetunderstanding，awoman。HimI，asmyever—esteemeddutypricksmeon，havesenttothee，toreceivethemeedofpunishment，bythysweetgrace’sofficer，AnthonyDull；amanofgoodrepute，carriage，bearing，andestimation。’DULL’Me，an’tshallpleaseyou；IamAnthonyDull。FERDINAND[Reads]’ForJaquenetta，——soistheweakervesselcalledwhichIapprehendedwiththeaforesaidswain，——Ikeepherasavesselofthelaw’sfury；
andshall，attheleastofthysweetnotice，bringhertotrial。Thine，inallcomplimentsofdevotedandheart—burningheatofduty。
DONADRIANODEARMADO。’BIRONThisisnotsowellasIlookedfor，butthebestthateverIheard。FERDINANDAy，thebestfortheworst。But，sirrah，whatsayyoutothis？COSTARDSir，Iconfessthewench。FERDINANDDidyouheartheproclamation？COSTARDIdoconfessmuchofthehearingitbutlittleofthemarkingofit。FERDINANDItwasproclaimedayear’simprisonment，tobetakenwithawench。COSTARDIwastakenwithnone，sir：Iwastakenwithadamsel。FERDINANDWell，itwasproclaimed’damsel。’COSTARDThiswasnodamsel，neither，sir；shewasavirgin。FERDINANDItissovaried，too；foritwasproclaimed’virgin。’COSTARDIfitwere，Idenyhervirginity：Iwastakenwithamaid。FERDINANDThismaidwillnotserveyourturn，sir。COSTARDThismaidwillservemyturn，sir。FERDINANDSir，Iwillpronounceyoursentence：
youshallfastaweekwithbranandwater。COSTARDIhadratherprayamonthwithmuttonandporridge。FERDINANDAndDonArmadoshallbeyourkeeper。
MyLordBiron，seehimdeliver’do’er：
Andgowe，lords，toputinpractisethatWhicheachtootherhathsostronglysworn。
ExeuntFERDINAND，LONGAVILLE，andDUMAINBIRONI’lllaymyheadtoanygoodman’shat，Theseoathsandlawswillproveanidlescorn。
Sirrah，comeon。COSTARDIsufferforthetruth，sir；fortrueitis，IwastakenwithJaquenetta，andJaquenettaisatruegirl；andthereforewelcomethesourcupofprosperity!Afflictionmayonedaysmileagain；
andtillthen，sittheedown，sorrow!
ExeuntLOVE’SLABOURSLOSTSCENEII。Thesame。EnterDONADRIANODEARMADOandMOTHDONADRIANODEARMADOBoy，whatsignisitwhenamanofgreatspiritgrowsmelancholy？MOTHAgreatsign，sir，thathewilllooksad。
DONADRIANODEARMADOWhy，sadnessisoneandtheself—samething，dearimp。MOTHNo，no；OLord，sir，no。
DONADRIANODEARMADOHowcanstthoupartsadnessandmelancholy，mytenderjuvenal？MOTHByafamiliardemonstrationoftheworking，mytoughsenior。
DONADRIANODEARMADOWhytoughsenior？whytoughsenior？MOTHWhytenderjuvenal？whytenderjuvenal？
DONADRIANODEARMADOIspokeit，tenderjuvenal，asacongruentepithetonappertainingtothyyoungdays，whichwemaynominatetender。MOTHAndI，toughsenior，asanappertinenttitletoyouroldtime，whichwemaynametough。
DONADRIANODEARMADOPrettyandapt。MOTHHowmeanyou，sir？Ipretty，andmysayingapt？orIapt，andmysayingpretty？
DONADRIANODEARMADOThoupretty，becauselittle。MOTHLittlepretty，becauselittle。Whereforeapt？
DONADRIANODEARMADOAndthereforeapt，becausequick。MOTHSpeakyouthisinmypraise，master？
DONADRIANODEARMADOInthycondignpraise。MOTHIwillpraiseaneelwiththesamepraise。
DONADRIANODEARMADOWhat，thataneelisingenious？MOTHThataneelisquick。
DONADRIANODEARMADOIdosaythouartquickinanswers：thouheatestmyblood。MOTHIamanswered，sir。
DONADRIANODEARMADOIlovenottobecrossed。MOTH[Aside]Hespeaksthemerecontrary；crosseslovenothim。
DONADRIANODEARMADOIhavepromisedtostudythreeyearswiththeduke。MOTHYoumaydoitinanhour，sir。
DONADRIANODEARMADOImpossible。MOTHHowmanyisonethricetold？
DONADRIANODEARMADOIamillatreckoning；itfitteththespiritofatapster。MOTHYouareagentlemanandagamester，sir。
DONADRIANODEARMADOIconfessboth：theyareboththevarnishofacompleteman。MOTHThen，Iamsure，youknowhowmuchthegrosssumofdeuce—aceamountsto。
DONADRIANODEARMADOItdothamounttoonemorethantwo。MOTHWhichthebasevulgardocallthree。
DONADRIANODEARMADOTrue。MOTHWhy，sir，isthissuchapieceofstudy？
Nowhereisthreestudied，ereye’llthricewink：andhoweasyitistoput’years’totheword’three，’
andstudythreeyearsintwowords，thedancinghorsewilltellyou。
DONADRIANODEARMADOAmostfinefigure!MOTHToproveyouacipher。
DONADRIANODEARMADOIwillhereuponconfessIaminlove：
andasitisbaseforasoldiertolove，soamIinlovewithabasewench。Ifdrawingmyswordagainstthehumourofaffectionwoulddelivermefromthereprobatethoughtofit，IwouldtakeDesireprisoner，andransomhimtoanyFrenchcourtierforanew—devisedcourtesy。Ithinkscorntosigh：methinksIshouldoutswearCupid。Comfort，me，boy：whatgreatmenhavebeeninlove？MOTHHercules，master。
DONADRIANODEARMADOMostsweetHercules!Moreauthority，dearboy，namemore；and，sweetmychild，letthembemenofgoodreputeandcarriage。MOTHSamson，master：hewasamanofgoodcarriage，greatcarriage，forhecarriedthetown—gatesonhisbacklikeaporter：andhewasinlove。
DONADRIANODEARMADOOwell—knitSamson!strong—jointedSamson!
Idoexceltheeinmyrapierasmuchasthoudidstmeincarryinggates。Iaminlovetoo。WhowasSamson’slove，mydearMoth？MOTHAwoman，master。
DONADRIANODEARMADOOfwhatcomplexion？MOTHOfallthefour，orthethree，orthetwo，oroneofthefour。
DONADRIANODEARMADOTellmepreciselyofwhatcomplexion。MOTHOfthesea—watergreen，sir。
DONADRIANODEARMADOIsthatoneofthefourcomplexions？MOTHAsIhaveread，sir；andthebestofthemtoo。
DONADRIANODEARMADOGreenindeedisthecolouroflovers；
buttohavealoveofthatcolour，methinksSamsonhadsmallreasonforit。Hesurelyaffectedherforherwit。MOTHItwasso，sir；forshehadagreenwit。
DONADRIANODEARMADOMyloveismostimmaculatewhiteandred。MOTHMostmaculatethoughts，master，aremaskedundersuchcolours。
DONADRIANODEARMADODefine，define，well—educatedinfant。MOTHMyfather’switandmymother’stongue，assistme!
DONADRIANODEARMADOSweetinvocationofachild；mostprettyandpathetical!MOTHIfshebemadeofwhiteandred，Herfaultswillne’erbeknown，ForblushingcheeksbyfaultsarebredAndfearsbypalewhiteshown：
Thenifshefear，orbetoblame，Bythisyoushallnotknow，ForstillhercheekspossessthesameWhichnativeshedothowe。
Adangerousrhyme，master，againstthereasonofwhiteandred。
DONADRIANODEARMADOIstherenotaballad，boy，oftheKingandtheBeggar？MOTHTheworldwasveryguiltyofsuchaballadsomethreeagessince：butIthinknow’tisnottobefound；or，ifitwere，itwouldneitherserveforthewritingnorthetune。
DONADRIANODEARMADOIwillhavethatsubjectnewlywrito’er，thatImayexamplemydigressionbysomemightyprecedent。
Boy，IdolovethatcountrygirlthatItookintheparkwiththerationalhindCostard：shedeserveswell。MOTH[Aside]Tobewhipped；andyetabetterlovethanmymaster。
DONADRIANODEARMADOSing，boy；myspiritgrowsheavyinlove。MOTHAndthat’sgreatmarvel，lovingalightwench。
DONADRIANODEARMADOIsay，sing。MOTHForbeartillthiscompanybepast。
EnterDULL，COSTARD，andJAQUENETTADULLSir，theduke’spleasureis，thatyoukeepCostardsafe：andyoumustsufferhimtotakenodelightnornopenance；buta’mustfastthreedaysaweek。
Forthisdamsel，Imustkeepheratthepark：
sheisallowedfortheday—woman。Fareyouwell。
DONADRIANODEARMADOIdobetraymyselfwithblushing。Maid!JAQUENETTAMan？
DONADRIANODEARMADOIwillvisittheeatthelodge。JAQUENETTAThat’shereby。
DONADRIANODEARMADOIknowwhereitissituate。JAQUENETTALord，howwiseyouare!
DONADRIANODEARMADOIwilltelltheewonders。JAQUENETTAWiththatface？
DONADRIANODEARMADOIlovethee。JAQUENETTASoIheardyousay。
DONADRIANODEARMADOAndso，farewell。JAQUENETTAFairweatherafteryou!DULLCome，Jaquenetta，away!
ExeuntDULLandJAQUENETTA
DONADRIANODEARMADOVillain，thoushaltfastforthyoffenceserethoubepardoned。COSTARDWell，sir，Ihope，whenIdoit，Ishalldoitonafullstomach。
DONADRIANODEARMADOThoushaltbeheavilypunished。COSTARDIammoreboundtoyouthanyourfellows，fortheyarebutlightlyrewarded。
DONADRIANODEARMADOTakeawaythisvillain；shuthimup。MOTHCome，youtransgressingslave；away!COSTARDLetmenotbepentup，sir：Iwillfast，beingloose。MOTHNo，sir；thatwerefastandloose：thoushalttoprison。COSTARDWell，ifeverIdoseethemerrydaysofdesolationthatIhaveseen，someshallsee。MOTHWhatshallsomesee？COSTARDNay，nothing，MasterMoth，butwhattheylookupon。
Itisnotforprisonerstobetoosilentintheirwords；andthereforeIwillsaynothing：IthankGodIhaveaslittlepatienceasanotherman；
andthereforeIcanbequiet。
ExeuntMOTHandCOSTARD
DONADRIANODEARMADOIdoaffecttheveryground，whichisbase，wherehershoe，whichisbaser，guidedbyherfoot，whichisbasest，dothtread。Ishallbeforsworn，whichisagreatargumentoffalsehood，ifIlove。
Andhowcanthatbetruelovewhichisfalselyattempted？Loveisafamiliar；Loveisadevil：
thereisnoevilangelbutLove。YetwasSamsonsotempted，andhehadanexcellentstrength；yetwasSolomonsoseduced，andhehadaverygoodwit。
Cupid’sbutt—shaftistoohardforHercules’
club；
andthereforetoomuchoddsforaSpaniard’srapier。
Thefirstandsecondcausewillnotservemyturn；
thepassadoherespectsnot，theduelloheregardsnot：hisdisgraceistobecalledboy；buthisgloryistosubduemen。Adieu，valour!rustrapier!
bestill，drum!foryourmanagerisinlove；
yea，heloveth。Assistme，someextemporalgodofrhyme，forIamsureIshallturnsonnet。Devise，wit；
write，pen；forIamforwholevolumesinfolio。
ExitLOVE’SLABOURSLOSTACTIISCENEI。Thesame。EnterthePRINCESSofFrance，ROSALINE，MARIA，KATHARINE，BOYET，Lords，andotherAttendantsBOYETNow，madam，summonupyourdearestspirits：
Considerwhothekingyourfathersends，Towhomhesends，andwhat’shisembassy：
Yourself，heldpreciousintheworld’sesteem，ToparleywiththesoleinheritorOfallperfectionsthatamanmayowe，MatchlessNavarre；thepleaofnolessweightThanAquitaine，adowryforaqueen。
BenowasprodigalofalldeargraceAsNaturewasinmakinggracesdearWhenshedidstarvethegeneralworldbesideAndprodigallygavethemalltoyou。PRINCESSGoodLordBoyet，mybeauty，thoughbutmean，Needsnotthepaintedflourishofyourpraise：
Beautyisboughtbyjudgementoftheeye，Notutter’dbybasesaleofchapmen’stongues：
IamlessproudtohearyoutellmyworthThanyoumuchwillingtobecountedwiseInspendingyourwitinthepraiseofmine。
Butnowtotaskthetasker：goodBoyet，Youarenotignorant，all—tellingfameDothnoiseabroad，Navarrehathmadeavow，Tillpainfulstudyshalloutwearthreeyears，Nowomanmayapproachhissilentcourt：
Thereforeto’sseemethitaneedfulcourse，Beforeweenterhisforbiddengates，Toknowhispleasure；andinthatbehalf，Boldofyourworthiness，wesingleyouAsourbest—movingfairsolicitor。
Tellhim，thedaughteroftheKingofFrance，Onseriousbusiness，cravingquickdispatch，Importunespersonalconferencewithhisgrace：
Haste，signifysomuch；whileweattend，Likehumble—visagedsuitors，hishighwill。BOYETProudofemployment，willinglyIgo。PRINCESSAllprideiswillingpride，andyoursisso。
ExitBOYET
Whoarethevotaries，mylovinglords，Thatarevow—fellowswiththisvirtuousduke？FirstLordLordLongavilleisone。PRINCESSKnowyoutheman？MARIAIknowhim，madam：atamarriage—feast，BetweenLordPerigortandthebeauteousheirOfJaquesFalconbridge，solemnizedInNormandy，sawIthisLongaville：
Amanofsovereignpartsheisesteem’d；
Wellfittedinarts，gloriousinarms：
Nothingbecomeshimillthathewouldwell。
Theonlysoilofhisfairvirtue’sgloss，Ifvirtue’sglosswillstainwithanysoil，Isasharpwitmatchedwithtoobluntawill；
Whoseedgehathpowertocut，whosewillstillwillsItshouldnonesparethatcomewithinhispower。PRINCESSSomemerrymockinglord，belike；is’tso？MARIATheysaysomostthatmosthishumoursknow。PRINCESSSuchshort—livedwitsdowitherastheygrow。
Whoaretherest？KATHARINETheyoungDumain，awell—accomplishedyouth，Ofallthatvirtueloveforvirtueloved：
Mostpowertodomostharm，leastknowingill；
Forhehathwittomakeanillshapegood，Andshapetowingracethoughhehadnowit。
IsawhimattheDukeAlencon’sonce；
AndmuchtoolittleofthatgoodIsawIsmyreporttohisgreatworthiness。ROSALINEAnotherofthesestudentsatthattimeWastherewithhim，ifIhaveheardatruth。
Birontheycallhim；butamerrierman，Withinthelimitofbecomingmirth，Ineverspentanhour’stalkwithal：
Hiseyebegetsoccasionforhiswit；
ForeveryobjectthattheonedothcatchTheotherturnstoamirth—movingjest，Whichhisfairtongue，conceit’sexpositor，DeliversinsuchaptandgraciouswordsThatagedearsplaytruantathistalesAndyoungerhearingsarequiteravished；
Sosweetandvolubleishisdiscourse。PRINCESSGodblessmyladies!aretheyallinlove，ThateveryoneherownhathgarnishedWithsuchbedeckingornamentsofpraise？FirstLordHerecomesBoyet。
Re—enterBOYETPRINCESSNow，whatadmittance，lord？BOYETNavarrehadnoticeofyourfairapproach；
AndheandhiscompetitorsinoathWerealladdress’dtomeetyou，gentlelady，BeforeIcame。Marry，thusmuchIhavelearnt：
Herathermeanstolodgeyouinthefield，Likeonethatcomesheretobesiegehiscourt，Thanseekadispensationforhisoath，Toletyouenterhisunpeopledhouse。
HerecomesNavarre。
EnterFERDINAND，LONGAVILLE，DUMAIN，BIRON，andAttendantsFERDINANDFairprincess，welcometothecourtofNavarre。PRINCESS’Fair’Igiveyoubackagain；and’welcome’
Ihavenotyet：theroofofthiscourtistoohightobeyours；andwelcometothewidefieldstoobasetobemine。FERDINANDYoushallbewelcome，madam，tomycourt。PRINCESSIwillbewelcome，then：conductmethither。FERDINANDHearme，dearlady；Ihaveswornanoath。PRINCESSOurLadyhelpmylord!he’llbeforsworn。FERDINANDNotfortheworld，fairmadam，bymywill。PRINCESSWhy，willshallbreakit；willandnothingelse。FERDINANDYourladyshipisignorantwhatitis。PRINCESSWeremylordso，hisignorancewerewise，Wherenowhisknowledgemustproveignorance。
Ihearyourgracehathswornouthouse—keeping：
Tisdeadlysintokeepthatoath，mylord，Andsintobreakit。
Butpardonme。Iamtoosudden—bold：
Toteachateacherillbeseemethme。
Vouchsafetoreadthepurposeofmycoming，Andsuddenlyresolvemeinmysuit。FERDINANDMadam，Iwill，ifsuddenlyImay。PRINCESSYouwillthesooner，thatIwereaway；
Foryou’llproveperjuredifyoumakemestay。BIRONDidnotIdancewithyouinBrabantonce？ROSALINEDidnotIdancewithyouinBrabantonce？BIRONIknowyoudid。ROSALINEHowneedlesswasitthentoaskthequestion!BIRONYoumustnotbesoquick。ROSALINE’Tis’longofyouthatspurmewithsuchquestions。BIRONYourwit’stoohot，itspeedstoofast，’twilltire。ROSALINENottillitleavetheriderinthemire。BIRONWhattimeo’day？ROSALINEThehourthatfoolsshouldask。BIRONNowfairbefallyourmask!ROSALINEFairfallthefaceitcovers!BIRONAndsendyoumanylovers!ROSALINEAmen，soyoubenone。BIRONNay，thenwillIbegone。FERDINANDMadam，yourfatherheredothintimateThepaymentofahundredthousandcrowns；
BeingbuttheonehalfofanentiresumDisbursedbymyfatherinhiswars。
Butsaythatheorwe，asneitherhave，Receivedthatsum，yetthereremainsunpaidAhundredthousandmore；insuretyofthewhich，OnepartofAquitaineisboundtous，Althoughnotvaluedtothemoney’sworth。
IfthenthekingyourfatherwillrestoreButthatonehalfwhichisunsatisfied，WewillgiveupourrightinAquitaine，Andholdfairfriendshipwithhismajesty。
Butthat，itseems，helittlepurposeth，ForherehedothdemandtohaverepaidAhundredthousandcrowns；andnotdemands，Onpaymentofahundredthousandcrowns，TohavehistitleliveinAquitaine；
WhichwemuchratherhaddepartwithalAndhavethemoneybyourfatherlentThanAquitainesogeldedasitis。
DearPrincess，werenothisrequestssofarFromreason’syielding，yourfairselfshouldmakeAyielding’gainstsomereasoninmybreastAndgowellsatisfiedtoFranceagain。PRINCESSYoudothekingmyfathertoomuchwrongAndwrongthereputationofyourname，InsounseemingtoconfessreceiptOfthatwhichhathsofaithfullybeenpaid。FERDINANDIdoprotestIneverheardofit；
Andifyouproveit，I’llrepayitbackOryieldupAquitaine。PRINCESSWearrestyourword。
Boyet，youcanproduceacquittancesForsuchasumfromspecialofficersOfCharleshisfather。FERDINANDSatisfymeso。BOYETSopleaseyourgrace，thepacketisnotcomeWherethatandotherspecialtiesarebound：
To—morrowyoushallhaveasightofthem。FERDINANDItshallsufficeme：atwhichinterviewAllliberalreasonIwillyieldunto。
MeantimereceivesuchwelcomeatmyhandAshonourwithoutbreachofhonourmayMaketenderoftothytrueworthiness：
Youmaynotcome，fairprincess，inmygates；
ButherewithoutyoushallbesoreceivedAsyoushalldeemyourselflodgedinmyheart，Thoughsodeniedfairharbourinmyhouse。
Yourowngoodthoughtsexcuseme，andfarewell：
To—morrowshallwevisityouagain。PRINCESSSweethealthandfairdesiresconsortyourgrace!FERDINANDThyownwishwishItheeineveryplace!
ExitBIRONLady，Iwillcommendyoutomineownheart。ROSALINEPrayyou，domycommendations；Iwouldbegladtoseeit。BIRONIwouldyouhearditgroan。ROSALINEIsthefoolsick？BIRONSickattheheart。ROSALINEAlack，letitblood。BIRONWouldthatdoitgood？ROSALINEMyphysicsays’ay。’BIRONWillyouprick’twithyoureye？ROSALINENopoint，withmyknife。BIRONNow，Godsavethylife!ROSALINEAndyoursfromlongliving!BIRONIcannotstaythanksgiving。
RetiringDUMAINSir，Iprayyou，aword：whatladyisthatsame？BOYETTheheirofAlencon，Katharinehername。DUMAINAgallantlady。Monsieur，fareyouwell。
ExitLONGAVILLEIbeseechyouaword：whatissheinthewhite？BOYETAwomansometimes，anyousawherinthelight。LONGAVILLEPerchancelightinthelight。Idesirehername。BOYETShehathbutoneforherself；todesirethatwereashame。LONGAVILLEPrayyou，sir，whosedaughter？BOYETHermother’s，Ihaveheard。LONGAVILLEGod’sblessingonyourbeard!BOYETGoodsir，benotoffended。
SheisanheirofFalconbridge。LONGAVILLENay，mycholerisended。
Sheisamostsweetlady。BOYETNotunlike，sir，thatmaybe。
ExitLONGAVILLEBIRONWhat’shernameinthecap？BOYETRosaline，bygoodhap。BIRONIssheweddedorno？BOYETToherwill，sir，orso。BIRONYouarewelcome，sir：adieu。BOYETFarewelltome，sir，andwelcometoyou。
ExitBIRONMARIAThatlastisBiron，themerrymadcaplord：
Notawordwithhimbutajest。BOYETAndeveryjestbutaword。PRINCESSItwaswelldoneofyoutotakehimathisword。BOYETIwasaswillingtograppleashewastoboard。MARIATwohotsheeps，marry。BOYETAndwhereforenotships？
Nosheep，sweetlamb，unlesswefeedonyourlips。MARIAYousheep，andIpasture：shallthatfinishthejest？BOYETSoyougrantpastureforme。
OfferingtokissherMARIANotso，gentlebeast：
Mylipsarenocommon，thoughseveraltheybe。BOYETBelongingtowhom？MARIATomyfortunesandme。PRINCESSGoodwitswillbejangling；but，gentles，agree：
ThiscivilwarofwitsweremuchbetterusedOnNavarreandhisbook—men；forhere’tisabused。BOYETIfmyobservation，whichveryseldomlies，Bytheheart’sstillrhetoricdisclosedwitheyes，Deceivemenotnow，Navarreisinfected。PRINCESSWithwhat？BOYETWiththatwhichweloversentitleaffected。PRINCESSYourreason？BOYETWhy，allhisbehaviorsdidmaketheirretireTothecourtofhiseye，peepingthoroughdesire：
Hisheart，likeanagate，withyourprintimpress’d，Proudwithhisform，inhiseyeprideexpress’d：
Histongue，allimpatienttospeakandnotsee，Didstumblewithhasteinhiseyesighttobe；
Allsensestothatsensedidmaketheirrepair，Tofeelonlylookingonfairestoffair：
Methoughtallhissenseswerelock’dinhiseye，Asjewelsincrystalforsomeprincetobuy；
Who，tenderingtheirownworthfromwheretheywereglass’d，Didpointyoutobuythem，alongasyoupass’d：
Hisface’sownmargentdidquotesuchamazesThatalleyessawhiseyesenchantedwithgazes。
I’llgiveyouAquitaineandallthatishis，Anyougivehimformysakebutonelovingkiss。PRINCESSCometoourpavilion：Boyetisdisposed。BOYETButtospeakthatinwordswhichhiseyehathdisclosed。
Ionlyhavemadeamouthofhiseye，ByaddingatonguewhichIknowwillnotlie。ROSALINEThouartanoldlove—mongerandspeakestskilfully。MARIAHeisCupid’sgrandfatherandlearnsnewsofhim。ROSALINEThenwasVenuslikehermother，forherfatherisbutgrim。BOYETDoyouhear，mymadwenches？MARIANo。BOYETWhatthen，doyousee？ROSALINEAy，ourwaytobegone。BOYETYouaretoohardforme。
ExeuntLOVE’SLABOURSLOSTACTIIISCENEI。Thesame。EnterDONADRIANODEARMADOandMOTHDONADRIANODEARMADOWarble，child；makepassionatemysenseofhearing。MOTHConcolinel。
SingingDONADRIANODEARMADOSweetair!Go，tendernessofyears；takethiskey，giveenlargementtotheswain，bringhimfestinatelyhither：Imustemployhiminalettertomylove。MOTHMaster，willyouwinyourlovewithaFrenchbrawl？
DONADRIANODEARMADOHowmeanestthou？brawlinginFrench？MOTHNo，mycompletemaster：buttojigoffatuneatthetongue’send，canarytoitwithyourfeet，humouritwithturningupyoureyelids，sighanoteandsinganote，sometimethroughthethroat，asifyouswallowedlovewithsinginglove，sometimethroughthenose，asifyousnuffeduplovebysmellinglove；withyourhatpenthouse—likeo’ertheshopofyoureyes；withyourarmscrossedonyourthin—bellydoubletlikearabbitonaspit；oryourhandsinyourpocketlikeamanaftertheoldpainting；
andkeepnottoolonginonetune，butasnipandaway。
Thesearecomplements，thesearehumours；thesebetraynicewenches，thatwouldbebetrayedwithoutthese；andmakethemmenofnote——doyounoteme？——thatmostareaffectedtothese。
DONADRIANODEARMADOHowhastthoupurchasedthisexperience？MOTHBymypennyofobservation。
DONADRIANODEARMADOButO，——butO，——MOTH’Thehobby—horseisforgot。’
DONADRIANODEARMADOCallestthoumylove’hobby—horse’？MOTHNo，master；thehobby—horseisbutacolt，andyourloveperhapsahackney。Buthaveyouforgotyourlove？
DONADRIANODEARMADOAlmostIhad。MOTHNegligentstudent!learnherbyheart。
DONADRIANODEARMADOByheartandinheart，boy。MOTHAndoutofheart，master：allthosethreeIwillprove。
DONADRIANODEARMADOWhatwiltthouprove？MOTHAman，ifIlive；andthis，by，in，andwithout，upontheinstant：byheartyouloveher，becauseyourheartcannotcomebyher；inheartyouloveher，becauseyourheartisinlovewithher；andoutofheartyouloveher，beingoutofheartthatyoucannotenjoyher。
DONADRIANODEARMADOIamallthesethree。MOTHAndthreetimesasmuchmore，andyetnothingatall。
DONADRIANODEARMADOFetchhithertheswain：hemustcarrymealetter。MOTHAmessagewellsympathized；ahorsetobeambassadorforanass。
DONADRIANODEARMADOHa，ha!whatsayestthou？MOTHMarry，sir，youmustsendtheassuponthehorse，forheisveryslow—gaited。ButIgo。
DONADRIANODEARMADOThewayisbutshort：away!MOTHAsswiftaslead，sir。
DONADRIANODEARMADOThemeaning，prettyingenious？
Isnotleadametalheavy，dull，andslow？MOTHMinime，honestmaster；orrather，master，no。
DONADRIANODEARMADOIsayleadisslow。MOTHYouaretooswift，sir，tosayso：
Isthatleadslowwhichisfiredfromagun？
DONADRIANODEARMADOSweetsmokeofrhetoric!
Hereputesmeacannon；andthebullet，that’she：
Ishoottheeattheswain。MOTHThumpthenandIflee。
ExitDONADRIANODEARMADOAmostacutejuvenal；volubleandfreeofgrace!
Bythyfavour，sweetwelkin，Imustsighinthyface：
Mostrudemelancholy，valourgivestheeplace。
Myheraldisreturn’d。
Re—enterMOTHwithCOSTARDMOTHAwonder，master!here’sacostardbrokeninashin。
DONADRIANODEARMADOSomeenigma，someriddle：come，thyl’envoy；
begin。COSTARDNoenigma，noriddle，nol’envoy；nosalveinthemail，sir：O，sir，plantain，aplainplantain!
nol’envoy，nol’envoy；nosalve，sir，butaplantain!
DONADRIANODEARMADOByvirtue，thouenforcestlaughter；thysillythoughtmyspleen；theheavingofmylungsprovokesmetoridiculoussmiling。O，pardonme，mystars!
Doththeinconsideratetakesalveforl’envoy，andthewordl’envoyforasalve？MOTHDothewisethinkthemother？isnotl’envoyasalve？
DONADRIANODEARMADONo，page：itisanepilogueordiscourse，tomakeplainSomeobscureprecedencethathathtoforebeensain。
Iwillexampleit：
Thefox，theape，andthehumble—bee，Werestillatodds，beingbutthree。
There’sthemoral。Nowthel’envoy。MOTHIwilladdthel’envoy。Saythemoralagain。
DONADRIANODEARMADOThefox，theape，andthehumble—bee，Werestillatodds，beingbutthree。MOTHUntilthegoosecameoutofdoor，Andstay’dtheoddsbyaddingfour。
NowwillIbeginyourmoral，anddoyoufollowwithmyl’envoy。
Thefox，theape，andthehumble—bee，Werestillatodds，beingbutthree。
DONADRIANODEARMADOUntilthegoosecameoutofdoor，Stayingtheoddsbyaddingfour。MOTHAgoodl’envoy，endinginthegoose：
wouldyoudesiremore？COSTARDTheboyhathsoldhimabargain，agoose，that’sflat。
Sir，yourpennyworthisgood，anyourgoosebefat。
Tosellabargainwellisascunningasfastandloose：
Letmesee；afatl’envoy；ay，that’safatgoose。
DONADRIANODEARMADOComehither，comehither。Howdidthisargumentbegin？MOTHBysayingthatacostardwasbrokeninashin。
Thencall’dyouforthel’envoy。COSTARDTrue，andIforaplantain：thuscameyourargumentin；
Thentheboy’sfatl’envoy，thegoosethatyoubought；
Andheendedthemarket。
DONADRIANODEARMADOButtellme；howwasthereacostardbrokeninashin？MOTHIwilltellyousensibly。COSTARDThouhastnofeelingofit，Moth：Iwillspeakthatl’envoy：
ICostard，runningout，thatwassafelywithin，Felloverthethresholdandbrokemyshin。
DONADRIANODEARMADOWewilltalknomoreofthismatter。COSTARDTilltherebemorematterintheshin。
DONADRIANODEARMADOSirrahCostard，Iwillenfranchisethee。COSTARDO，marrymetooneFrances：Ismellsomel’envoy，somegoose，inthis。
DONADRIANODEARMADOBymysweetsoul，Imeansettingtheeatliberty，enfreedomingthyperson；thouwertimmured，restrained，captivated，bound。COSTARDTrue，true；andnowyouwillbemypurgationandletmeloose。
DONADRIANODEARMADOIgivetheethyliberty，settheefromdurance；and，inlieuthereof，imposeontheenothingbutthis：
bearthissignificantGivingalettertothecountrymaidJaquenetta：
thereisremuneration；forthebestwardofminehonourisrewardingmydependents。Moth，follow。
ExitMOTHLikethesequel，I。SigniorCostard，adieu。COSTARDMysweetounceofman’sflesh!myinconyJew!
ExitMOTH
NowwillIlooktohisremuneration。Remuneration!
O，that’stheLatinwordforthreefarthings：
threefarthings——remuneration。——’What’sthepriceofthisinkle？’——’Onepenny。’——’No，I’llgiveyouaremuneration：’why，itcarriesit。Remuneration!
why，itisafairernamethanFrenchcrown。I
willneverbuyandselloutofthisword。
EnterBIRONBIRONO，mygoodknaveCostard!exceedinglywellmet。COSTARDPrayyou，sir，howmuchcarnationribbonmayamanbuyforaremuneration？BIRONWhatisaremuneration？COSTARDMarry，sir，halfpennyfarthing。BIRONWhy，then，three—farthingworthofsilk。COSTARDIthankyourworship：Godbewi’you!BIRONStay，slave；Imustemploythee：
Asthouwiltwinmyfavour，goodmyknave，DoonethingformethatIshallentreat。COSTARDWhenwouldyouhaveitdone，sir？BIRONThisafternoon。COSTARDWell，Iwilldoit，sir：fareyouwell。BIRONThouknowestnotwhatitis。COSTARDIshallknow，sir，whenIhavedoneit。BIRONWhy，villain，thoumustknowfirst。COSTARDIwillcometoyourworshipto—morrowmorning。BIRONItmustbedonethisafternoon。