[BILLYsitsdownonedgeofchair。LORETTAseatsherselfbytable。Billy，withoutrising，jerkshischairforwardtilltheyarefacingeachother，hiskneestouchinghers。Heyearnstowardher。Shemovesbackherchairslightly。]
BILLY。[Withsupremeconfidence。]That’swhatIcametoseeyoufor——togetengagedoveragain。
[BILLYhudgeschairforwardandtriestotakeherhand。]
[LORETTAhudgesherchairback。]
BILLY。[Drawingoutlargesilverwatchandlookingatit。]Nowlookhere，Loretta，Ihaven’tanytimetolose。I’vegottoleaveforthattrainintenminutes。AndIwantyoutosettheday。
LORETTA。Butwe’renotengaged，Billy。Sotherecan’tbeanysettingoftheday。
BILLY。[Withconfidence。]Butwe’regoingtobe。[Suddenlybreakingout。]Oh，Loretta，ifyouonlyknewhowI’vesuffered。
ThatfirstnightIdidn’tsleepawink。Ihaven’tsleptmucheversince。[Hudgeschairforward。]Iwalkthefloorallnight。
[Solemnly。]Loretta，Idon’teatenoughtokeepacanarybirdalive。Loretta……[Hudgeschairforward。]
LORETTA。[Hudgingherchairbackmaternally。]Billy，whatyouneedisatonic。HaveyouseenDoctorHaskins？
BILLY。[Lookingatwatchandevincingsignsofhaste。]Loretta，whenagirlkissesaman，itmeanssheisgoingtomarryhim。
LORETTA。Iknowit，Billy。But……[Sheglancestowardlettersontable。]CaptainKittdoesn’twantmetomarryyou。Hesays……[Shetakesletterandbeginstoopenit。]
BILLY。NevermindwhatCaptainKittsays。Hewantsyoutostayandbecompanyforyoursister。Hedoesn’twantyoutomarrymebecauseheknowsshewantstokeepyou。
LORETTA。Daisydoesn’twanttokeepme。Shewantsnothingbutmyownhappiness。Shesays——[Shetakessecondletterfromtableandbeginstoopenit。]
BILLY。NevermindwhatDaisysays—
LORETTA。[Takingthirdletterfromtableandbeginningtoopenit。]AndMarthasays—
BILLY。[Angrily。]DarnMarthaandthewholeboilingofthem!
LORETTA。[Reprovingly。]Oh，Billy!
BILLY。[Defensively。]Darnisn’tswearing，andyouknowitisn’t。
[Thereisanawkwardpause。Billyhaslostthethreadoftheconversationandhasvacantexpression。]
BILLY。[Suddenlyrecollecting。]NevermindCaptainKitt，andDaisy，andMartha，andwhattheywant。Thequestionis，whatdoyouwant？
LORETTA。[Appealingly。]Oh，Billy，I’msounhappy。
BILLY。[Ignoringtheappealandpressinghomethepoint。]Thethingis，doyouwanttomarryme？[Helooksathiswatch。]Justanswerthat。
LORETTA。Aren’tyouafraidyou’llmissthattrain？
BILLY。Darnthetrain!
LORETTA。[Reprovingly。]Oh，Billy!
BILLY。[Mostirascibly。]Darnisn’tswearing。[Plaintively。]
That’sthewayyoualwaysputmeoff。Ididn’tcomeallthewayhereforatrain。Icameforyou。Nowjustanswermeonething。
Doyouwanttomarryme？
LORETTA。[Firmly。]No，Idon’twanttomarryyou。
BILLY。[Withassurance。]Butyou’vegotto，justthesame。
LORETTA。[Withdefiance。]Gotto？
BILLY。[Withunshakenassurance。]That’swhatIsaid——gotto。
AndI’llseethatyoudo。
LORETTA。[Blazingwithanger。]Iamnolongerachild。Youcan’tbullyme，BillyMarsh!
BILLY。[Coolly。]I’mnottryingtobullyyou。I’mtryingtosaveyourreputation。
LORETTA。[Faintly。]Reputation？
BILLY。[Nodding。]Yes，reputation。[Hepausesforamoment，thenspeaksverysolemnly。]Loretta，whenawomankissesaman，she’sgottomarryhim。
LORETTA。[Appalled，faintly。]Gotto？
BILLY。[Dogmatically。]Itisthecustom。
LORETTA。[Brokenly。]Andwhen……a……awomankissesamananddoesn’t……marryhim……？
BILLY。Thenthereisascandal。That’swhereallthescandalsyouseeinthepaperscomefrom。
[BILLYlooksatwatch。]
[LORETTAinsilentdespair。]
LORETTA。[Inabasement。]Youareagoodman，Billy。[Billyshowsthathebelievesit。]AndIamaverywickedwoman。
BILLY。No，you’renot，Loretta。Youjustdidn’tknow。
LORETTA。[Withagleamofhope。]Butyoukissedmefirst。
BILLY。Itdoesn’tmatter。Youletmekissyou。
LORETTA。[Hopedyingdown。]Butnotatfirst。
BILLY。Butyoudidafterwardandthat’swhatcounts。Youletmeyouinthegrape—arbour。Youletme—
LORETTA。[Withanguish]Don’t!Don’t!
BILLY。[Relentlessly。]——kissyouwhenyouwereplayingthepiano。
Youletmekissyouthatdayofthepicnic。AndIcan’trememberallthetimesyouletmekissyougoodnight。
LORETTA。[Beginningtoweep。]Notmorethanfive。
BILLY。[Withconviction。]Eightatleast。
LORETTA。[Reproachfully，stillweeping。]Youtoldmeitwasallright。
BILLY。[Emphatically。]Soitwasallright——untilyousaidyouwouldn’tmarrymeafterall。Thenitwasascandal——onlynooneknowsityet。Ifyoumarrymenooneeverwillknowit。[Looksatwatch。]I’vegottogo。[Standsup。]Where’smyhat？
LORETTA。[Sobbing。]Thisisawful。
BILLY。[Approvingly。]Youbetit’sawful。Andthere’sonlyonewayout。[Looksanxiouslyaboutforhat。]Whatdoyousay？
LORETTA。[Brokenly。]Imustthink。I’llwritetoyou。
[Faintly。]Thetrain？Yourhat’sinthehall。
BILLY。[Looksatwatch，hastilytriestokissher，succeedsonlyinshakinghand，startsacrossstagetowardleft。]Allright。
Youwritetome。Writeto—morrow。[Stopsforamomentindoor—
wayandspeaksverysolemnly。]Remember，Loretta，theremustbenoscandal。
[Billygoesout。]
[LORETTAsitsinchairquietlyweeping。Slowlydrieseyes，risesfromchair，andstands，undecidedastowhatshewilldonext。]
[NEDentersfromright，peeping。DiscoversthatLORETTAisalone，andcomesquietlyacrossstagetoher。WhenNEDcomesuptohershebeginsweepingagainandtriestoturnherheadaway。NED
catchesbothherhandsinhisandcompelshertolookathim。Sheweepsharder。]
NED。[Puttingonearmprotectinglyaroundhershoulderanddrawinghertowardhim。]There，there，littleone，don’tcry。
LORETTA。[Turningherfacetohisshoulderlikeatiredchild，sobbing。]Oh，Ned，ifyouonlyknewhowwickedIam。
NED。[Smilingindulgently。]Whatisthematter，littleone？Hasyourdearlybelovedsisterfailedtowritetoyou？[LORETTA
shakeshead。]HasHemingwaybeenbullyingyou？[LORETTAshakeshead。]Thenitmusthavebeenthatcallerofyours？[Longpause，duringwhichLORETTA’sweepinggrowsmoreviolent。]Tellmewhat’sthematter，andwe’llseewhatIcando。[Helightlykissesherhair——solightlythatshedoesnotknow。]
LORETTA。[Sobbing。]Ican’t。Youwilldespiseme。Oh，Ned，I
amsoashamed。
NED。[Laughingincredulously。]Letusforgetallaboutit。I
wanttotellyousomethingthatmaymakemeveryhappy。Myfondesthopeisthatitwillmakeyouhappy，too。Loretta，Iloveyou—
LORETTA。[Utteringasharpcryofdelight，thenmoaning。]Toolate!
NED。[Surprised。]Toolate？
LORETTA。[Stillmoaning。]Oh，whydidI？[NEDsomewhatstiffens。]Iwassoyoung。Ididnotknowtheworldthen。
NED。Whatisitallaboutanyway？
LORETTA。Oh，I……he……Billy……Iamawickedwoman，Ned。Iknowyouwillneverspeaktomeagain。
NED。This……er……thisBilly——whathashebeendoing？
LORETTA。I……he……Ididn’tknow。Iwassoyoung。I
couldnothelpit。Oh，Ishallgomad，Ishallgomad!
[NED’sencirclingarmgoeslimp。Hegentlydisengagesheranddepositsherinbigchair。]
[LORETTAburiesherfaceandsobsafresh。]
NED。[Twistingmoustachefiercely，regardingherdubiously，hesitatingamoment，thendrawingupchairandsittingdown。]I……Idonotunderstand。
LORETTA。[Wailing。]Iamsounhappy!
NED。[Inquisitorially。]Whyunhappy？
LORETTA。Because……he……hewantstomarryme。
NED。[Hisfacebrighteninginstantly，leaningforwardandlayingahandsoothinglyonhers。]Thatshouldnotmakeanygirlunhappy。Becauseyoudon’tlovehimisnoreason——[Abruptlybreakingoff。]Ofcourseyoudon’tlovehim？[LORETTAshakesherheadandshouldersvigorously。]What？
LORETTA。[Explosively。]No，Idon’tloveBilly!Idon’twanttoloveBilly!
NED。[Withconfidence。]Becauseyoudon’tlovehimisnoreasonthatyoushouldbeunhappyjustbecausehehasproposedtoyou。
LORETTA。[Sobbing。]That’sthetrouble。IwishIdidlovehim。
Oh，IwishIweredead。
NED。[Growingcomplacent。]Nowmydearchild，youareworryingyourselfovertrifles。[Hissecondhandjoinsthefirstinholdingherhands。]Womendoiteveryday。Becauseyouhavechangedyourmind，ordidnotknowyoumind，becauseyouhave——touseanunnecessarilyharshword——jiltedaman—
LORETTA。[Interrupting，raisingherheadandlookingathim。]
Jilted？OhNed，ifthatwereaall!
NED。[Hollowvoice。]All!
[NED’shandsslowlyretreatfromhers。Heopenshismouthasthoughtospeakfurther，thenchangeshismindandremainssilent。]
LORETTA。[Protestingly。]ButIdon’twanttomarryhim!
NED。ThenIshouldn’t。
LORETTA。ButIoughttomarryhim。
NED。OUGHTtomarryhim？[LORETTAnods。]Thatisastrongword。
LORETTA。[Nodding。]Iknowitis。[Herlipsaretrembling，butshestrivesforcontrolandmanagestospeakmorecalmly。]Iamawickedwoman。Aterriblewickedwoman。NooneknowshowwickedI
am……exceptBilly。
NED。[Starting，lookingatherqueerly。]He……Billyknows？
[LORETTAnods。Hedebateswithhimselfamoment。]Tellmeaboutit。Youmusttellmeallofit。
LORETTA。[Faintly，asthoughabouttoweepagain。]Allofit？
NED。[Firmly。]Yes，allofit。
LORETTA。[Haltingly。]And……will……you……ever……
forgive……me？
NED。[Drawingalong，breath，desperately。]Yes，I’llforgiveyou。Goahead。
LORETTA。Therewasnoonetotellme。Wewerewitheachothersomuch。Ididnotknowanythingoftheworld……then。[Pauses。]
NED。[Impatiently。]Goon。
LORETTA。IfIhadonlyknown。[Pauses。]
NED。[Bitinghislipandclenchinghishands。]Yes，yes。Goon。
LORETTA。Weweretogetheralmosteveryevening。
NED。[Savagely。]Billy？
LORETTA。Yes，ofcourse，Billy。Wewerewitheachothersomuch……IfIhadonlyknown……Therewasnoonetotellme……
Iwassoyoung……[Breaksdowncrying。]
NED。[Leapingtohisfeet，explosively。]Thescoundrel!
LORETTA。[Liftingherhead。]Billyisnotascoundrel……He……he……isagoodman。
NED。[Sarcastically。]Isupposeyou’llbetellingmenextthatitwasallyourfault。[LORETTAnods。]What!
LORETTA。[Steadily。]Itwasallmyfault。Ishouldneverhavelethim。Iwastoblame。
NED。[Pacesupanddownforaminute，stopsinfrontofher，andspeakswithresignation。]Allright。Idon’tblameyouintheleast，Loretta。Andyouhavebeenveryhonest。Itis……er……commendable。ButBillyisright，andyouarewrong。Youmustgetmarried。
LORETTA。[Indim，far—awayvoice。]ToBilly？
NED。Yes，toBilly。I’llseetoit。Wheredoeshelive？I’llmakehim。Ifhewon’tI’ll……I’llshoothim!
LORETTA。[Cryingoutwithalarm。]Oh，Ned，youwon’tdothat？
NED。[Sternly。]Ishall。
LORETTA。ButIdon’twanttomarryBilly。
NED。[Sternly。]Youmust。AndBillymust。Doyouunderstand？
Itistheonlything。
LORETTA。That’swhatBillysaid。
NED。[Triumphantly。]Yousee，Iamright。
LORETTA。Andif……ifIdon’tmarryhim……therewillbe……scandal？
NED。[Calmly。]Yes，therewillbescandal。
LORETTA。That’swhatBillysaid。Oh，Iamsounhappy!
[LORETTAbreaksdownintoviolentweeping。]
[NEDpacesgrimlyupanddown，nowandagainfiercelytwistinghismoustache。]
LORETTA。[Faceburied，sobbingandcryingallthetime。]
Idon’twanttoleaveDaisy!Idon’twanttoleaveDaisy!WhatshallIdo？WhatshallIdo？HowwasItoknow？Hedidn’ttellme。Nobodyelseeverkissedme。[NEDstopscuriouslytolisten。
Ashelistenshisfacebrightens。]Ineverdreamedakisscouldbesoterrible……until……untilhetoldme。Heonlytoldmethismorning。
NED。[Abruptly。]Isthatwhatyouarecryingabout？
LORETTA。[Reluctantly。]N—no。
NED。[Inhopelessvoice，thebrightnessgoneoutofhisface，abouttobeginpacingagain。]Thenwhatareyoucryingabout？
LORETTA。BecauseyousaidIhadtomarryBilly。Idon’twanttomarryBilly。Idon’twanttoleaveDaisy。Idon’tknowwhatI
want。IwishIweredead。
NED。[Nervinghimselfforanothereffort。]Nowlookhere，Loretta，besensible。Whatisthisaboutkisses？Youhaven’ttoldmeeverythingafterall。
LORETTA。I……Idon’twanttotellyoueverything。
NED。[Imperatively。]Youmust。
LORETTA。[Surrendering。]Well，then……mustI？
NED。Youmust。
LORETTA。[Floundering。]He……I……we……Ilethim，andhekissedme。
NED。[Desperately，controllinghimself。]Goon。
LORETTA。Hesayseight，butIcan’tthinkofmorethanfivetimes。
NED。Yes，goon。
LORETTA。That’sall。
NED。[Withvastincredulity。]All？
LORETTA。[Puzzled。]All？
NED。[Awkwardly。]Imean……er……nothingworse？
LORETTA。[Puzzled。]Worse？Asthoughtherecouldbe。Billysaid—
NED。[Interrupting。]When？
LORETTA。Thisafternoon。Justnow。Billysaidthatmy……our……our……ourkisseswereterribleifwedidn’tgetmarried。
NED。Whatelsedidhesay？
LORETTA。Hesaidthatwhenawomanpermittedamantokisshershealwaysmarriedhim。Thatitwasawfulifshedidn’t。Itwasthecustom，hesaid；andIsayitisabad，wickedcustom，andithasbrokenmyheart。Ishallneverbehappyagain。IknowIamterrible，butIcan’thelpit。Imusthavebeenbornwicked。
NED。[Absent—mindedlybringingoutacigaretteandstrikingamatch。]DoyoumindifIsmoke？[Comingtohimselfagain，andflingingawaymatchandcigarette。]Ibegyourpardon。Idon’twanttosmoke。Ididn’tmeanthatatall。WhatImeanis……
[HebendsoverLORETTA，catchesherhandsinhis，thensitsonarmofchair，softlyputsonearmaroundher，andisabouttokissher。]
LORETTA。[Withhorror，repulsinghim。]No!No!
NED。[Surprised。]What’sthematter？
LORETTA。[Agitatedly。]WouldyoumakemeawickederwomanthanI
am？
NED。Akiss？
LORETTA。Therewillbeanotherscandal。Thatwouldmaketwoscandals。
NED。TokissthewomanIlove……ascandal？
LORETTA。Billylovesme，andhesaidso。
NED。Billyisajoker……orelseheisasinnocentasyou。
LORETTA。Butyousaidsoyourself。
NED。[Takenaback。]I？
LORETTA。Yes，yousaidityourself，withyourownlips，nottenminutesago。Ishallneverbelieveyouagain。
NED。[Masterfullyputtingarmaroundheranddrawinghertowardhim。]AndIamajoker，too，andaverywickedman。
Nevertheless，youmusttrustme。Therewillbenothingwrong。
LORETTA。[Preparingtoyield。]Andno……scandal？
NED。Scandalfiddlesticks。Loretta，Iwantyoutobemywife。
[Hewaitsanxiously。]
[JACKHEMINGWAY，infishingcostume，appearsindoorwaytorightandlookson。]
NED。Youmightsaysomething。
LORETTA。Iwill……if……
[ALICEHEMINGWAYappearsindoorwaytoleftandlookson。]
NED。[Insuspense。]Yes，goon。
LORETTA。IfIdon’thavetomarryBilly。
NED。[Almostshouting。]Youcan’tmarrybothofus!
LORETTA。[Sadly，repulsinghimwithherhands。]Then，Ned，I
cannotmarryyou。
NED。[Dumbfounded。]W—what？
LORETTA。[Sadly。]BecauseIcan’tmarrybothofyou。
NED。Boshandnonsense!
LORETTA。I’dliketomarryyou，but……
NED。Thereisnothingtopreventyou。
LORETTA。[Withsadconviction。]Oh，yes，thereis。YousaidyourselfthatIhadtomarryBilly。Yousaidyouwoulds—s—shoothimifhedidn’t。
NED。[Drawinghertowardhim。]Nevertheless……
LORETTA。[Slightlyholdinghimoff。]Anditisn’tthecustom……what……Billysaid？
NED。No，itisn’tthecustom。Now，Loretta，willyoumarryme？
LORETTA。[Poutingdemurely。]Don’tbeangrywithme，Ned。[Hegathersherintohisarmsandkissesher。Shepartiallyfreesherself，gasping。]Iwishitwerethecustom，becausenowI’dhavetomarryyou，Ned，wouldn’tI？
[NEDandLORETTAkissasecondtimeandprofoundly。]
[JACKHEMINGWAYchuckles。]
[NEDandLORETTA，startled，butstillineachother’sarms，lookaround。NEDlookssillilyatALICEHEMINGWAY。LORETTAlooksatJACKHEMINGWAY。]
LORETTA。Idon’tcare。
CURTAIN
THEBIRTHMARK
SKETCHBYJACKLONDONwrittenforRobertandJuliaFitzsimmonsSCENE——OneoftheclubroomsoftheWestBayAthleticClub。Nearcentrefrontisalargetablecoveredwithnewspapersandmagazines。Atleftapunching—bagapparatus。Atright，againstwall，adesk，onwhichrestsadesk—telephone。Dooratreartowardleft。Onwallsareframedpicturesofpugilists，conspicuousamongwhichisoneofRobertFitzsimmons。Appropriatefurnishings，etc。，suchasfoils，clubs，dumb—bellsandtrophies。
[EnterMAUDSYLVESTER。]
[Sheisdressedasaman，ineveningclothes，preferablyaTuxedo。
Inherhandisacard，andunderherarmapaper—wrappedparcel。
Shepeepsaboutcuriouslyandadvancestotable。Sheistimorousandexcited，elatedandatthesametimefrightened。Hereyesaredancingwithexcitement。]
MAUD。[Pausingbytable。]Notasoulsawme。Iwonderwhereeverybodyis。AndthatbigbrotherofminesaidIcouldnotgetin。[Shereadsbackofcard。]\"Hereismycard，Maudie。Ifyoucanuseit，goahead。Butyouwillnevergetinsidethedoor。I
considermybetasgoodaswon。\"[Lookingup，triumphantly。]Youdo，doyou？Oh，ifyoucouldseeyourlittlesisternow。Heresheis，inside。[Pauses，andlooksabout。]SothisistheWestBayAthleticClub。Nowomenallowed。Well，hereIam，ifIdon’tlooklikeone。[Stretchesoutonelegandthentheother，andlooksatthem。Leavingcardandparcelontable，shestrutsaroundlikeaman，looksatpicturesofpugilistsonwalls，readingaloudtheirnamesandmakingappropriateremarks。ButshestopsbeforetheportraitofFitzsimmonsandreadsaloud。]
\"RobertFitzsimmons，thegreatestwarriorofthemall。\"[Claspshands，andlookingupatportraitmurmurs。]Oh，youdear!
[Continuesstruttingaround，imitatingwhatsheconsidersareaman’sstrideandswagger，returnstotableandproceedstounwrapparcel。]Well，I’llgooutlikeagirl，ifIdidcomeinlikeaman。[Dropswrappingpaperontableandholdsupawoman’slongautomobilecloakandamotorbonnet。Issuddenlystartledbysoundofapproachingfootstepsandglancesinafrightenedwaytowarddoor。]Mercy!Herecomessomebodynow![Glancesaboutherinalarm，dropscloakandbonnetonfloorclosetotable，seizesahandfulofnewspapers，andrunstolargeleatherchairtorightoftable，wheresheseatsherselfhurriedly。Onepapersheholdsupbeforeher，hidingherfaceasshepretendstoread。
Unfortunatelythepaperisupsidedown。Theotherpaperslieonherlap。]
[EnterROBERTFITZSIMMONS。]
[Helooksabout，advancestotable，takesoutcigarettecaseandisabouttoselectone，whenhenoticesmotorcloakandbonnetonfloor。Helayscigarettecaseontableandpicksthemup。Theystrikehimasprofoundlycuriousthingstobeinaclubroom。HelooksatMAUD，thenseescardontable。Hepicksitupandreachittohimself，thenlooksatherwithcomprehension。Hiddenbyhernewspaper，sheseesnothing。Helooksatcardagainandreadsandspeaksinanaside。]
FITZSIMMONS。\"Maudie。JohnH。Sylvester。\"ThatmustbeJackSylvester’ssisterMaud。[FITZSIMMONSshowsbyhisexpressionthatheisgoingtoplayajoke。Tossingcloakandbonnetunderthetableheplacescardinhisvestpocket，selectsachair，sitsdown，andlooksatMAUD。Henotespaperisupsidedown，ishugelytickled，andlaughssilently。]Hello![Newspaperisagitatedbyslighttremor。Hespeaksmoreloudly。]Hello![Newspapershakesbadly。Hespeaksveryloudly。]Hello!
MAUD。[Peepingathimovertopofpaperandspeakinghesitatingly。]H—h—hello!
FITZSIMMONS。[Gruffly。]Youareaqueerone，readingapaperupsidedown。
MAUD。[Loweringnewspaperandtryingtoappearatease。]It’squiteatrick，isn’tit？Ioftenpractiseit。I’mrealcleveratit，youknow。
FITZSIMMONS。[Grunts，thenadds。]SeemstomeIhaveseenyoubefore。
MAUD。[Glancingquicklyfromhisfacetoportraitandbackagain。]Yes，andIknowyou——YouareRobertFitzsimmons。
FITZSIMMONS。IthoughtIknewyou。
MAUD。Yes，itwasoutinSanFrancisco。Mypeoplestilllivethere。I’mjust——ahem——doingNewYork。
FITZSIMMONS。ButIdon’tquiterememberthename。
MAUD。Jones——HarryJones。
FITZSIMMONS。[Hugelydelighted，leapingfromchairandstridingovertoher。]Sure。[Slapsherresoundinglyonshoulder。]
[Sheisnearlycrushedbytheweightoftheblow，andatthesametimeshocked。Shescramblestoherfeet。]
FITZSIMMONS。Gladtoseeyou，Harry。[Hewringsherhand，sothatithurts。]Gladtoseeyouagain，Harry。[Hecontinueswringingherhandandpumpingherarm。]
MAUD。[Strugglingtowithdrawherhandandfinallysucceeding。
Hervoiceisratherfaint。]Ye—es，er……Bob……er……
gladtoseeyouagain。[Shelooksruefullyatherbruisedfingersandsinksintochair。Then，recollectingherpart，shecrossesherlegsinamannishway。]
FITZSIMMONS。[Crossingtodeskatright，againstwhichheleans，facingher。]YouwereawildyoungrascalinthoseSanFranciscodays。[Chuckling。]Lord，Lord，howitallcomesbacktome。
MAUD。[Boastfully。]Iwaswild——some。
FITZSIMMONS。[Grinning。]Ishouldsay!RememberthatnightI
putyoutobed？
MAUD。[Forgettingherself，indignantly。]Sir!
FITZSIMMONS。Youwere……er……drunk。
MAUD。Ineverwas!
FITZSIMMONS。Surelyyouhaven’tforgottenthatnight!Youbeganwithdroppingchampagnebottlesoutoftheclubwindowsontheheadsofthepeopleonthesidewalk，andyouwoundupbyassaultingacabman。AndletmetellyouIsavedyoufromagoodlickingrightthere，andsquareditwiththepolice。Don’tyouremember？
MAUD。[Noddinghesitatingly。]Yes，itisbeginningtocomebacktome。Iwasabittightthatnight。
FITZSIMMONS。[Exultantly。]Abittight!Why，beforeIcouldgetyoutobedyouinsistedontellingmethestoryofyourlife。
MAUD。DidI？Idon’trememberthat。
FITZSIMMONS。Ishouldsaynot。Youwerepastrememberinganythingbythattime。Youhadyourarmsaroundmyneck—
MAUD。[Interrupting。]Oh!
FITZSIMMONS。Andyoukeptrepeatingoverandover，\"Bob，dearBob。\"
MAUD。[Springingtoherfeet。]Oh!Ineverdid![Recollectingherself。]PerhapsImusthave。Iwasatriflewildinthosedays，Iadmit。ButI’mwisenow。I’vesowedmywildoatsandsteadieddown。
FITZSIMMONS。I’mgladtohearthat，Harry。Youweretearingoffaprettyfastpaceinthosedays。[Pause，inwhichMAUDnods。]
Stillpunchthebag？
MAUD。[Inquickalarm，glancingatpunchingbag。]No，I’vegotoutofthehangofit。
FITZSIMMONS。[Reproachfully。]Youhaven’tforgottenthatright—
and—left，arm，elbowandshouldermovementItaughtyou？
MAUD。[Withhesitation。]N—o—o。
FITZSIMMONS。[Movingtowardbagtoleft。]Then，comeon。
MAUD。[Risingreluctantlyandfollowing。]I’dratherseeyoupunchthebag。I’djustloveto。
FITZSIMMONS。Iwill，afterward。Yougotoitfirst。
MAUD。[Eyeingthebaginalarm。]No；you。I’moutofpractice。
FITZSIMMONS。[Lookingathersharply。]Howmanydrinkshaveyouhadto—night？
MAUD。Notaone。Idon’tdrink——thatis——er——onlyoccasionally。
FITZSIMMONS。[Indicatingbag。]Thengotoit。
MAUD。No；ItellyouIamoutofpractice。I’veforgottenitall。Yousee，Imadeadiscovery。
[Pauses。]
FITZSIMMONS。Yes？
MAUD。I——I——yourememberwhatalightvoiceIalwayshad——almostsoprano？
[FITZSIMMONSnods。]
MAUD。Well，Idiscovereditwasaperfectfalsetto。
[FITZSIMMONSnods。]
MAUD。I’vebeenpractisingiteversince。Experts，inanotherroom，wouldswearitwasawoman’svoice。Sowouldyou，ifyouturnedyourbackandIsang。
FITZSIMMONS。[Whohasbeenlaughingincredulously，nowbecomessuspicious。]Lookhere，kid，Ithinkyouareanimpostor。YouarenotHarryJonesatall。
MAUD。Iam，too。
FITZSIMMONS。Idon’tbelieveit。Hewasheavierthanyou。
MAUD。Ihadthefeverlastsummerandlostalotofweight。
FITZSIMMONS。YouaretheHarryJonesthatgotsousesdandhadtobeputtobed？
MAUD。Y—e—s。
FITZSIMMONS。ThereisonethingIrememberverydistinctly。
HarryJoneshadabirthmarkonhisknee。[Helooksatherlegssearchingly。]
MAUD。[Embarrassed，thenresolvingtocarryitout。]Yes，righthere。[Sheadvancesrightlegandtouchesit。]
FITZSIMMONS。[Triumphantly。]Wrong。Itwastheotherknee。
MAUD。Ioughttoknow。
FITZSIMMONS。Youhaven’tanybirthmarkatall。
MAUD。Ihave，too。
FITZSIMMONS。[Suddenlyspringingtoherandattemptingtoseizeherleg。]Thenwe’llproveit。Letmesee。
MAUD。[Inapanicbacksawayfromhimandresistshisattempts，untilgrinninginanasidetotheaudience，hegivesover。She，inanasidetoaudience。]Fancyhiswantingtoseemybirthmark。
FITZSIMMONS。[Bullying。]Thentakeagoatthebag。[Sheshakesherhead。]You’renotHarryJones。
MAUD。[Approachingpunchingbag。]Iam，too。
FITZSIMMONS。Thenhitit。
MAUD。[Resolvingtoattemptit，hitsbagseveralniceblows，andthenisstruckonthenosebyit。]Oh!
[Recoveringherselfandrubbinghernose。]ItoldyouIwasoutofpractice。Youpunchthebag，Bob。
FITZSIMMONS。Iwill，ifyouwillshowmewhatyoucandowiththatwonderfulsopranovoiceofyours。
MAUD。Idon’tdare。Everybodywouldthinktherewasawomanintheclub。
FITZSIMMONS。[Shakinghishead。]No，theywon’t。They’veallgonetothefight。There’snotasoulinthebuilding。
MAUD。[Alarmed，inaweakvoice。]Not——a——soul——in——thebuilding？
FITZSIMMONS。Notasoul。OnlyyouandI。
MAUD。[Startinghurriedlytowarddoor。]ThenImustgo。
FITZSIMMONS。What’syourhurry？Sing。
MAUD。[Turningbackwithnewresolve。]Letmeseeyoupunchthebag，——er——Bob。
FITZSIMMONS。Yousingfirst。
MAUD。No；youpunchfirst。
FITZSIMMONS。Idon’tbelieveyouareHarry—
MAUD。[Hastily。]Allright，I’llsing。Yousitdownoverthereandturnyourback。
[FITZSIMMONSobeys。]
[MAUDwalksovertothetabletowardright。Sheisabouttosing，whenshenoticesFITZSIMMONS’cigarettecase，picksitup，andinanasidereadshisnameonitandspeaks。]
MAUD。\"RobertFitzsimmons。\"ThatwillprovetomybrotherthatI
havebeenhere。
FITZSIMMONS。Hurryup。
[MAUDhastilyputscigarettecaseinherpocketandbeginstosing。]
SONG
[DuringthesongFITZSIMMONSturnshisheadslowlyandlooksatherwithgrowingadmiration。]
MAUD。Howdidyoulikeit？
FITZSIMMONS。[Gruffly。]Rotten。Anybodycouldtellitwasaboy’svoice—
MAUD。Oh!
FITZSIMMONS。Itisroughandcoarseanditcrackedoneveryhighnote。
MAUD。Oh!Oh!
[Recollectingherselfandshrugginghershoulders。]Oh，verywell。Nowlet’sseeifyoucandoanybetterwiththebag。
[FITZSIMMONStakesoffcoatandgivesexhibition。]
[MAUDlooksoninanecstasyofadmiration。]
MAUD。[Ashefinishes。]Beautiful!Beautiful!
[FITZSIMMONSputsoncoatandgoesoverandsitsdownneartable。]
Nothinglikethebagtolimberoneup。Ifeellikeafightingcock。Harry，let’sgooutonatoot，youandI。
MAUD。Wh—a—a—t？
FITZSIMMONS。Atoot。Youknow——oneofthoserip—snortingnightsyouusedtomake。
MAUD。[Emphatically，asshepicksupnewspapersfromleatherchair，sitsdown，andplacesthemonherlap。]I’lldonothingofthesort。I’ve——I’vereformed。
FITZSIMMONS。Youusedtojoy—rideliketheverydevil。
MAUD。Iknowit。
FITZSIMMONS。Andyoualwayshadaprettygirlortwoalong。
MAUD。[Boastfully，inmannish，fashion。]Oh，Istillhavemyfling。Doyouknowany——well，——er，——nicegirls？
FITZSIMMONS。Sure。
MAUD。Putmewise。
FITZSIMMONS。Sure。YouknowJackSylvester？
MAUD。[Forgettingherself。]He’smybrother—
FITZSIMMONS。[Exploding。]What!
MAUD。——In—law’sfirstcousin。
FITZSIMMONS。Oh!
MAUD。SoyouseeIdon’tknowhimverywell。Ionlymethimonce——attheclub。Wehadadrinktogether。
FITZSIMMONS。Thenyoudon’tknowhissister？
MAUD。[Starting。]Hissister？I——Ididn’tknowhehadasister。
FITZSIMMONS。[Enthusiastically。]She’sapeach。Aqueen。A
littlebitofallright。A——aloo—loo。
MAUD。[Flattered。]Sheis，isshe？
FITZSIMMONS。She’sascream。Yououghttogetacquaintedwithher。
MAUD。[Slyly。]Youknowher，then？
FITZSIMMONS。Youbet。
MAUD。[Aside。]Oh，ho![ToFITZSIMMONS。]Knowherverywell？
FITZSIMMONS。I’vetakenheroutmoretimesthanIcanremember。
You’lllikeher，I’msure。
MAUD。Thanks。Tellmesomemoreabouther。
FITZSIMMONS。Shedressesabitloud。Butyouwon’tmindthat。
Andwhateveryoudo，don’ttakehertoeat。
MAUD。[Hidingherchagrin。]Whynot？
FITZSIMMONS。Ineversawsuchanappetite—
MAUD。Oh!
FITZSIMMONS。It’sfairsickening。Shemusthaveatape—worm。
Andshethinksshecansing。
MAUD。Yes？
FITZSIMMONS。Rotten。Youcandobetteryourself，andthat’snotsayingmuch。She’sanicegirl，reallysheis，butsheistheblacksheepofthefamily。Funny，isn’tit？
MAUD。[Weakvoice。]Yes，funny。
FITZSIMMONS。HerbrotherJackisallright。Buthecan’tdoanythingwithher。She’sa——a—
MAUD。[Grimly。]Yes。Goon。
FITZSIMMONS。Aholyterror。Sheoughttobeinareformschool。
MAUD。[Springingtoherfeetandslammingnewspapersinhisface。]Oh!Oh!Oh!Youliar!Sheisn’tanythingofthesort!
FITZSIMMONS。[Recoveringfromtheonslaughtandmakingbelieveheisangry，advancingthreateninglyonher。]NowI’mgoingtoputaheadonyou。Youyounghoodlum。
MAUD。[Allalarmandcontrition，backingawayfromhim。]Don’t!
Pleasedon’t!I’msorry!Iapologise。I——Ibegyourpardon，Bob。OnlyIdon’tliketoheargirlstalkedaboutthatway，even—
—evenifitistrue。Andyououghttoknow。
FITZSIMMONS。[Subsidingandresumingseat。]You’vechangedalot，Imustsay。
MAUD。[Sittingdowninleatherchair。]ItoldyouI’dreformed。
Letustalkaboutsomethingelse。Whyisitgirlslikeprize—
fighters？Ishouldthink——ahem——Imeanitseemstomethatgirlswouldthinkprize—fightershorrid。
FITZSIMMONS。Theyaremen。
MAUD。Butthereissomuchcrookednessinthegame。Onehearsaboutitallthetime。
FITZSIMMONS。Therearecrookedmenineverybusinessandprofession。Thebestfightersarenotcrooked。
MAUD。I——er——Ithoughttheyallfakedfightswhentherewasenoughinit。
FITZSIMMONS。Notthebestones。
MAUD。Didyou——er——everfakeafight？
FITZSIMMONS。[Lookingathersharply，thenspeakingsolemnly。]
Yes。Once。
MAUD。[Shocked，speakingsadly。]AndIalwaysheardofyouandthoughtofyouastheonecleanchampionwhoneverfaked。
FITZSIMMONS。[Gentlyandseriously。]Letmetellyouaboutit。
ItwasdowninAustralia。Ihadjustbeguntofightmywayup。
ItwaswitholdBillHobartoutatRushcuttersBay。Ithrewthefighttohim。
MAUD。[Repelled，disgusted。]Oh!Icouldnothavebelieveditofyou。
FITZSIMMONS。Letmetellyouaboutit。Billwasanoldfighter。
Notanoldman，youknow，buthe’dbeeninthefightinggamealongtime。Hewasaboutthirty—eightandagamermanneverenteredthering。Buthewasinhardluck。Youngerfighterswerecomingup，andhewasbeingcrowdedout。Atthattimeitwasn’toftenhegotafightandthepursesweresmall。BesidesitwasadroughtyearinAustralia。Youdon’tknowwhatthatmeans。Itmeansthattherangersarestarved。Itmeansthatthesheeparestarvedanddiebythemillions。Itmeansthatthereisnomoneyandnowork，andthatthemenandwomenandkiddiesstarve。
BillHobarthadamissusandthreekidsandatthetimeofhisfightwithmetheywereallstarving。Theydidnothaveenoughtoeat。Doyouunderstand？Theydidnothaveenoughtoeat。AndBilldidnothaveenoughtoeat。Hetrainedonanemptystomach，whichisnowaytotrainyou’lladmit。Duringthatdroughtyeartherewaslittleenoughmoneyinthering，buthehadfailedtogetanyfights。Hehadworkedatlong—shoring，ditch—digging，coal—shovelling——anything，tokeepthelifeinthemissusandthekiddies。Thetroublewasthejobsdidn’tholdout。Andtherehewas，matchedtofightwithme，behindinhisrent，atougholdchopping—block，butweakfromlackoffood。Ifhedidnotwinthefight，thelandlordwasgoingtoputthemintothestreet。
MAUD。Butwhywouldyouwanttofightwithhiminsuchweakcondition？
FITZSIMMONS。Ididnotknow。Ididnotlearntillattheringsidejustbeforethefight。Itwasinthedressingrooms，waitingourturntogoon。Billcameoutofhisroom，readyforthering。\"Bill，\"Isaid——infun，youknow。\"Bill，I’vegottodoyouto—night。\"Hesaidnothing，buthelookedatmewiththesaddestandmostpitifulfaceIhaveeverseen。Hewentbackintohisdressingroomandsatdown。
\"PoorBill!\"oneofmysecondssaid。\"He’sbeenfairstarvingtheselastweeks。AndI’vegotitstraight，thelandlordchuckshimoutifhelosesto—night。\"
Thenthecallcameandwewentintothering。Billwasdesperate。
Hefoughtlikeatiger，amadman。Hewasfaircrazy。HewasfightingformorethanIwasfightingfor。Iwasarisingfighter，andIwasfightingforthemoneyandtherecognition。
ButBillwasfightingforlife——forthelifeofhislovedones。
Well，conditiontold。Thestrengthwentoutofhim，andIwasfreshasadaisy。\"What’sthematter，Bill？\"Isaidtohiminaclinch。\"You’reweak。\"\"Iain’thadabittoeatthisday，\"heanswered。Thatwasall。
Bytheseventhroundhewasaboutallin，hangingonandpantingandsobbingforbreathintheclinches，andIknewIcouldputhimoutanytime。Idrewbackmyrightfortheshort—armjabthatwoulddothebusiness。Heknewitwascoming，andhewaspowerlesstopreventit。
\"FortheloveofGod，Bob，\"hesaid；and——[Pause。]
MAUD。Yes？Yes？
FITZSIMMONS。Iheldbacktheblow。Wewereinaclinch。
\"FortheloveofGod，Bob，\"hesaidagain，\"themissesandthekiddies!\"
AndrightthereIsawandknewitall。Isawthehungrychildrenasleep，andthemissussittingupandwaitingforBilltocomehome，waitingtoknowwhethertheyweretohavefoodtoeatorbethrownoutinthestreet。
\"Bill，\"Isaid，inthenextclinch，solowonlyhecouldhear。
\"Bill，remembertheLaBlancheswing。Giveittome，hard。\"
Webrokeaway，andhewastotteringandgroggy。Hestaggeredawayandstartedtowhirltheswing。Isawitcoming。ImadebelieveIdidn’tandstartedafterhiminarush。Biff!Itcaughtmeonthejaw，andIwentdown。Iwasyoungandstrong。Icouldeatpunishment。Icouldhavegotupthefirstsecond。ButIlaythereandletthemcountmeout。AndmakingbelieveIwasstilldazed，Iletthemcarrymetomycornerandworktobringmeto。
[Pause。]
Well，Ifakedthatfight。
MAUD。[Springingtohimandshakinghishand。]ThankGod!Oh!
Youareaman!A——a——ahero!
FITZSIMMONS。[Dryly，feelinginhispocket。]Let’shaveasmoke。
[Hefailstofindcigarettecase。]
MAUD。Ican’ttellyouhowgladIamyoutoldmethat。
FITZSIMMONS。[Gruffly。]Forgetit。[Helooksontable，andfailstofindcigarettecase。Looksathersuspiciously，thencrossestodeskatrightandreachesfortelephone。]
MAUD。[Curiously。]Whatareyougoingtodo？
FITZSIMMONS。Callthepolice。
MAUD。Whatfor？
FITZSIMMONS。Foryou。
MAUD。Forme？
FITZSIMMONS。YouarenotHarryJones。Andnotonlyareyouanimpostor，butyouareathief。
MAUD。[Indignantly。]Howdareyou？
FITZSIMMONS。Youhavestolenmycigarettecase。
MAUD。[Rememberingandtakenaback，pullsoutcigarettecase。]
Hereitis。
FITZSIMMONS。Toolate。Itwon’tsaveyou。Thisclubmustbekeptrespectable。Thievescannotbetolerated。
MAUD。[Growingalarm。]Butyouwon’thavemearrested？
FITZSIMMONS。Icertainlywill。
MAUD。[Pleadingly。]Please!Please!
FITZSIMMONS。[Obdurately。]IseenoreasonwhyIshouldnot。
MAUD。[Hurriedly，inapanic。]I’llgiveyouareason——a——agoodone。I——I——amnotHarryJones。
FITZSIMMONS。[Grimly。]Agoodreasoninitselftocallinthepolice。
MAUD。Thatisn’tthereason。I’m——a——Oh!I’msoashamed。
FITZSIMMONS。[Sternly。]Ishouldsayyououghttobe。[Reachesfortelephonereceiver。]
MAUD。[Inrushofdesperation。]Stop!I’ma——I’ma——agirl。
There![Sinksdowninchair，buryingherfaceinherhands。]
[FITZSIMMONS，hangingupreceiver，grunts。]
[MAUDremoveshandsandlooksathimindignantly。Asshespeaksherindignationgrows。]
MAUD。IonlywantedyourcigarettecasetoprovetomybrotherthatIhadbeenhere。I——I’mMaudSylvester，andyounevertookmeoutonce。AndI’mnotablacksheep。AndIdon’tdressloudly，andIhaven’ta——atapeworm。
FITZSIMMONS。[Grinningandpullingoutcardfromvestpocket。]
IknewyouwereMissSylvesterallthetime。
MAUD。Oh!Youbrute!I’llneverspeaktoyouagain。
FITZSIMMONS。[Gently。]You’llletmeseeyousafelyoutofhere。
MAUD。[Relenting。]Ye—e—s。[Sherises，crossestotable，andisabouttostoopformotorcloakandbonnet，butheforestallher，holdscloakandhelpsherintoit。]Thankyou。[Shetakesoffwig，fluffsherownhairbecomingly，andputsonbonnet，lookingeveryinchaprettyyounggirl，readyforanautomobileride。]
FITZSIMMONS。[Who，allthetime，watchinghertransformation，hasbeengrowingbashful，nowhandingherthecigarettecase。]Here’sthecigarettecase。Youmayk—k—keepit。
MAUD。[Lookingathim，hesitates，thentakesit。]Ithankyou——
er——Bob。Ishalltreasureitallmylife。[Heisveryembarrassed。]Why，Idobelieveyou’rebashful。Whatisthematter？
FITZSIMMONS。[Stammering。]Why——I——you——Youareagirl——and——a—
—a——deucedprettyone。
MAUD。[Takinghisarm，readytostartfordoor。]Butyouknewitallalong。
FITZSIMMONS。Butit’ssomehowdifferentnowwhenyou’vegotyourgirl’sclotheson。
MAUD。Butyouweren’tabitbashful——ornice，when——you——you——
[Blurtingitout。]Weresoanxiousaboutbirthmarks。
[Theystarttomakeexit。]
CURTAIN