PRELUDE
IthappenedthattheundersignedspentthelastChristmasseasoninaforeigncitywherethereweremanyEnglishchildren。
Inthatcity，ifyouwantedtogiveachild’sparty，youcouldnotevengetamagic—lanternorbuyTwelfth—Nightcharacters——thosefunnypaintedpicturesoftheKing，theQueen，theLover，theLady，theDandy，theCaptain，andsoon——withwhichouryoungonesarewonttorecreatethemselvesatthisfestivetime。
MyfriendMissBunch，whowasgovernessofalargefamilythatlivedinthePianoNobileofthehouseinhabitedbymyselfandmyyoungcharges（itwasthePalazzoPoniatowskiatRome，andMessrs。Spillmann，twoofthebestpastrycooksinChristendom，havetheirshoponthegroundfloor）：MissBunch，Isay，beggedmetodrawasetofTwelfth—Nightcharactersfortheamusementofouryoungpeople。
Sheisaladyofgreatfancyanddrollimagination，andhavinglookedatthecharacters，sheandIcomposedahistoryaboutthem，whichwasrecitedtothelittlefolksatnight，andservedasourFIRESIDEPANTOMIME。
OurjuvenileaudiencewasamusedbytheadventuresofGiglioandBulbo，RosalbaandAngelica。IamboundtosaythefateoftheHallPortercreatedaconsiderablesensation；andthewrathofCountessGruffanuffwasreceivedwithextremepleasure。
Ifthesechildrenarepleased，thoughtI，whyshouldnotothersbeamusedalso？InafewdaysDr。Birch’syoungfriendswillbeexpectedtoreassembleatRodwellRegis，wheretheywilllearneverythingthatisuseful，andundertheeyesofcarefulusherscontinuethebusinessoftheirlittlelives。
But，inthemeanwhile，andforabriefholiday，letuslaughandbeaspleasantaswecan。Andyouelderfolk——alittlejoking，anddancing，andfoolingwilldoevenyounoharm。TheauthorwishesyouamerryChristmas，andwelcomesyoutotheFiresidePantomime。
W。M。THACKERAY。December1854。
CONTENTS
I。SHOWSHOWTHEROYALFAMILYSATEDOWNTOBREAKFAST
II。HOWKINGVALOROSOGOTTHECROWN，ANDPRINCEGIGLIOWENT
WITHOUT
III。TELLSWHOTHEFAIRYBLACKSTICKWAS，ANDWHOWEREEVERSO
MANYGRANDPERSONAGESBESIDES
IV。HOWBLACKSTICKWASNOTASKEDTOTHEPRINCESSANGELICA’S
CHRISTENING
V。HOWPRINCESSANGELICATOOKALITTLEMAID
VI。HOWPRINCEGIGLIOBEHAVEDHIMSELF
VII。HOWGIGLIOANDANGELICAHADAQUARREL
VIII。HOWGRUFFANUFFPICKEDTHEFAIRYRINGUP，ANDPRINCEBULBO
CAMETOCOURT
IX。HOWBETSINDAGOTTHEWARMING—PAN
X。HOWKINGVALOROSOWASINADREADFULPASSION
XI。WHATGRUFFANUFFDIDTOGIGLIOANDBETSINDA
XII。HOWBETSINDAFLED，ANDWHATBECAMEOFHER
XIII。HOWQUEENROSALBACAMETOTHECASTLEOFTHEBOLDCOUNT
HOGGINARMO
XIV。WHATBECAMEOFGIGLIO
XV。WERETURNTOROSALBA
XVI。HOWHEDZOFFRODEBACKAGAINTOKINGGIGLIO
XVII。HOWATREMENDOUSBATTLETOOKPLACE，ANDWHOWONIT
XVIII。HOWTHEYALLJOURNEYEDBACKTOTHECAPITAL
XIX。ANDNOWWECOMETOTHELASTSCENEINTHEPANTOMIME
THEROSEANDTHERING
I。SHOWSHOWTHEROYALFAMILYSATEDOWNTOBREAKFAST
ThisisValorosoXXIV。，KingofPaflagonia，seatedwithhisQueenandonlychildattheirroyalbreakfast—table，andreceivingtheletterwhichannouncestoHisMajestyaproposedvisitfromPrinceBulbo，heirofPadella，reigningKingofCrimTartary。
Remarkthedelightuponthemonarch’sroyalfeatures。HeissoabsorbedintheperusaloftheKingofCrimTartary’sletter，thatheallowshiseggstogetcold，andleaveshisaugustmuffinsuntasted。
’What!thatwicked，brave，delightfulPrinceBulbo!’criesPrincessAngelica；’sohandsome，soaccomplished，sowitty——theconquerorofRimbombamento，whereheslewtenthousandgiants!’
’Whotoldyouofhim，mydear？’asksHisMajesty。
’Alittlebird，’saysAngelica。
’PoorGiglio!’saysmamma，pouringoutthetea。
’BotherGiglio!’criesAngelica，tossingupherhead，whichrustledwithathousandcurl—papers。
’Iwish，’growlstheKing——’IwishGigliowas……’
’Wasbetter？Yes，dear，heisbetter，’saystheQueen。
’Angelica’slittlemaid，Betsinda，toldmesowhenshecametomyroomthismorningwithmyearlytea。’
’Youarealwaysdrinkingtea，’saidthemonarch，withascowl。
’Itisbetterthandrinkingportorbrandyandwater；’repliesHerMajesty。
’Well，well，mydear，Ionlysaidyouwerefondofdrinkingtea，’
saidtheKingofPaflagonia，withaneffortasiftocommandhistemper。’Angelica!Ihopeyouhaveplentyofnewdresses；yourmilliners’billsarelongenough。MydearQueen，youmustseeandhavesomeparties。Ipreferdinners，butofcourseyouwillbeforballs。Youreverlastingbluevelvetquitetiresme：and，mylove，Ishouldlikeyoutohaveanewnecklace。Orderone。
Notmorethanahundredorahundredandfiftythousandpounds。’
’AndGiglio，dear？’saystheQueen。
’GIGLIOMAYGOTOTHE——’
’Oh，sir，’screamsHerMajesty。’Yourownnephew!ourlateKing’sonlyson。’
’Gigliomaygotothetailor’s，andorderthebillstobesentintoGlumbosotopay。Confoundhim!Imeanblesshisdearheart。
Heneedwantfornothing；givehimacoupleofguineasforpocket—money，mydear；andyoumayaswellorderyourselfbraceletswhileyouareaboutthenecklace，Mrs。V。’
HerMajesty，orMRS。V。，asthemonarchfacetiouslycalledher（forevenroyaltywillhaveitssport，andthisaugustfamilywereverymuchattached），embracedherhusband，and，twiningherarmroundherdaughter’swaist，theyquittedthebreakfast—roominordertomakeallthingsreadyfortheprincelystranger。
Whentheyweregone，thesmilethathadlighteduptheeyesoftheHUSBANDandFATHERfled——theprideoftheKINGfled——theMAN
wasalone。HadIthepenofaG。P。R。James，IwoulddescribeValoroso’stormentsinthechoicestlanguage；inwhichIwouldalsodepicthisflashingeye，hisdistendednostril——hisdressing—gown，pocket—handkerchief，andboots。ButIneednotsayIhaveNOTthepenofthatnovelist；sufficeittosay，Valorosowasalone。
Herushedtothecupboard，seizingfromthetableoneofthemanyegg—cupswithwhichhisprincelyboardwasservedforthematinmeal，drewoutabottleofrightNantzorCognac，filledandemptiedthecupseveraltimes，andlaiditdownwithahoarse’Ha，ha，ha!nowValorosoisamanagain!’
’Butoh!’hewenton（stillsipping，Iamsorrytosay），’ereI
wasaking，Ineedednotthisintoxicatingdraught；onceI
detestedthehotbrandywine，andquaffednootherfountbutnature’srill。Itdashesnotmorequicklyo’ertherocksthanI
did，as，withblunderbussinhand，Ibrushedawaytheearlymorningdew，andshotthepartridge，snipe，orantlereddeer!
Ah!wellmayEngland’sdramatistremark，\"Uneasyliestheheadthatwearsacrown!\"WhydidIstealmynephew’s，myyoungGiglio’s——？Steal!saidI？no，no，no，notsteal，notsteal。
Letmewithdrawthatodiousexpression。Itook，andonmymanlyheadIset，theroyalcrownofPaflagonia；Itook，andwithmyroyalarmIwield，thesceptralrodofPaflagonia；Itook，andinmyoutstretchedhandIhold，theroyalorbofPaflagonia!Couldapoorboy，asnivelling，drivellingboy——wasinhisnurse’sarmsbutyesterday，andcriedforsugarplumsandpuledforpap——bearuptheawfulweightofcrown，orb，sceptre？girdontheswordmyroyalfatherswore，andmeetinfightthetoughCrimeanfoe？’
Andthenthemonarchwentontoargueinhisownmind（thoughweneednotsaythatblankverseisnotargument）thatwhathehadgotitwashisdutytokeep，andthat，ifatonetimehehadentertainedideasofacertainrestitution，whichshallbenameless，theprospectbyaCERTAINMARRIAGEofunitingtwocrownsandtwonationswhichhadbeenengagedinbloodyandexpensivewars，asthePaflagoniansandtheCrimeanshadbeen，puttheideaofGiglio’srestorationtothethroneoutofthequestion：nay，werehisownbrother，KingSavio，alive，hewouldcertainlywillthecrownfromhisownsoninordertobringaboutsuchadesirableunion。
Thuseasilydowedeceiveourselves!Thusdowefancywhatwewishisright!TheKingtookcourage，readthepapers，finishedhismuffinsandeggs，andrangthebellforhisPrimeMinister。
TheQueen，afterthinkingwhethersheshouldgoupandseeGiglio，whohadbeensick，thought’Notnow。Businessfirst；
pleasureafterwards。IwillgoandseedearGigliothisafternoon；andnowIwilldrivetothejeweller’s，tolookforthenecklaceandbracelets。’ThePrincesswentupintoherownroom，andmadeBetsinda，hermaid，bringoutallherdresses；andasforGiglio，theyforgothimasmuchasIforgetwhatIhadfordinnerlastTuesdaytwelve—month。
II。HOWKINGVALOROSOGOTTHECROWN，ANDPRINCEGIGLIOWENT
WITHOUT
Paflagonia，tenortwentythousandyearsago，appearstohavebeenoneofthosekingdomswherethelawsofsuccessionwerenotsettled；forwhenKingSaviodied，leavinghisbrotherRegentofthekingdom，andguardianofSavio’sorphaninfant，thisunfaithfulregenttooknosortofregardofthelatemonarch’swill；hadhimselfproclaimedsovereignofPaflagoniaunderthetitleofKingValorosoXXIV。，hadamostsplendidcoronation，andorderedallthenoblesofthekingdomtopayhimhomage。SolongasValorosogavethemplentyofballsatCourt，plentyofmoneyandlucrativeplaces，thePaflagoniannobilitydidnotcarewhowasking；andasforthepeople，inthoseearlytimes，theywereequallyindifferent。ThePrinceGiglio，byreasonofhistenderageathisroyalfather’sdeath，didnotfeelthelossofhiscrownandempire。Aslongashehadplentyoftoysandsweetmeats，aholidayfivetimesaweekandahorseandguntogooutshootingwhenhegrewalittleolder，and，aboveall，thecompanyofhisdarlingcousin，theKing’sonlychild，poorGigliowasperfectlycontented；nordidheenvyhisuncletheroyalrobesandsceptre，thegreathotuncomfortablethroneofstate，andtheenormouscumbersomecrowninwhichthatmonarchappearedfrommorningtillnight。KingValoroso’sportraithasbeenlefttous；andIthinkyouwillagreewithmethathemusthavebeensometimesRATHERTIREDofhisvelvet，andhisdiamonds，andhisermine，andhisgrandeur。Ishouldn’tliketositinthatstiflingrobewithsuchathingasthatonmyhead。
Nodoubt，theQueenmusthavebeenlovelyinheryouth；forthoughshegrewratherstoutinafterlife，yetherfeatures，asshowninherportrait，arecertainlyPLEASING。Ifshewasfondofflattery，scandal，cards，andfineclothes，letusdealgentlywithherinfirmities，which，afterall，maybenogreaterthanourown。Shewaskindtohernephew；andifshehadanyscruplesofconscienceaboutherhusband’stakingtheyoungPrince’scrown，consoledherselfbythinkingthattheKing，thoughausurper，wasamostrespectableman，andthatathisdeathPrinceGigliowouldberestoredtohisthrone，andshareitwithhiscousin，whomhelovedsofondly。
ThePrimeMinisterwasGlumboso，anoldstatesman，whomostcheerfullysworefidelitytoKingValoroso，andinwhosehandsthemonarchleftalltheaffairsofhiskingdom。AllValorosowantedwasplentyofmoney，plentyofhunting，plentyofflattery，andaslittletroubleaspossible。Aslongashehadhissport，thismonarchcaredlittlehowhispeoplepaidforit：
heengagedinsomewars，andofcoursethePaflagoniannewspapersannouncedthathehadgainedprodigiousvictories：hehadstatueserectedtohimselfineverycityoftheempire；andofcoursehispicturesplacedeverywhere，andinalltheprint—shops：hewasValorosotheMagnanimous，ValorosotheVictorious，ValorosotheGreat，andsoforth；——forevenintheseearlytimescourtiersandpeopleknewhowtoflatter。
Thisroyalpairhadoneonlychild，thePrincessAngelica，who，youmaybesure，wasaparagoninthecourtiers’eyes，inherparents’，andinherown。Itwassaidshehadthelongesthair，thelargesteyes，theslimmestwaist，thesmallestfoot，andthemostlovelycomplexionofanyyoungladyinthePaflagoniandominions。Heraccomplishmentswereannouncedtobeevensuperiortoherbeauty；andgovernessesusedtoshametheiridlepupilsbytellingthemwhatPrincessAngelicacoulddo。Shecouldplaythemostdifficultpiecesofmusicatsight。ShecouldansweranyoneofMangnall’sQuestions。ShekneweverydateinthehistoryofPaflagonia，andeveryothercountry。SheknewFrench，English，Italian，German，Spanish，Hebrew，Greek，Latin，Cappadocian，Samothracian，Aegean，andCrimTartar。Inaword，shewasamostaccomplishedyoungcreature；andhergovernessandlady—in—waitingwasthesevereCountessGruffanuff。
Wouldyounotfancy，fromthispicture，thatGruffanuffmusthavebeenapersonofhighestbirth？ShelookssohaughtythatI
shouldhavethoughtheraprincessattheveryleast，withapedigreereachingasfarbackastheDeluge。Butthisladywasnobetterbornthanmanyotherladieswhogivethemselvesairs；
andallsensiblepeoplelaughedatherabsurdpretensions。Thefactis，shehadbeenmaid—servanttotheQueenwhenHerMajestywasonlyPrincess，andherhusbandhadbeenheadfootman；butafterhisdeathorDISAPPEARANCE，ofwhichyoushallhearpresently，thisMrs。Gruffanuff，byflattering，toadying，andwheedlingherroyalmistress，becameafavouritewiththeQueen（whowasratheraweakwoman），andHerMajestygaveheratitle，andmadehernurserygovernesstothePrincess。
AndnowImusttellyouaboutthePrincess’slearningandaccomplishments，forwhichshehadsuchawonderfulcharacter。
CleverAngelicacertainlywas，butasIDLEasPOSSIBLE。Playatsight，indeed!shecouldplayoneortwopieces，andpretendthatshehadneverseenthembefore；shecouldanswerhalfadozenMangnall’sQuestions；butthenyoumusttakecaretoasktheRIGHTones。Asforherlanguages，shehadmastersinplenty，butIdoubtwhethersheknewmorethanafewphrasesineach，forallherpresence；andasforherembroideryandherdrawing，sheshowedbeautifulspecimens，itistrue，butWHODIDTHEM？
Thisobligesmetotellthetruth，andtodosoImustgobackeversofar，andtellyouabouttheFAIRYBLACKSTICK。
III。TELLSWHOTHEFAIRYBLACKSTICKWAS，ANDWHOWEREEVERSO
MANYGRANDPERSONAGESBESIDES
BetweenthekingdomsofPaflagoniaandCrimTartary，therelivedamysteriouspersonage，whowasknowninthosecountriesastheFairyBlackstick，fromtheebonywandorcrutchwhichshecarried；onwhichsherodetothemoonsometimes，oruponotherexcursionsofbusinessorpleasure，andwithwhichsheperformedherwonders。
Whenshewasyoung，andhadbeenfirsttaughttheartofconjuringbythenecromancer，herfather，shewasalwayspracticingherskill，whizzingaboutfromonekingdomtoanotheruponherblackstick，andconferringherfairyfavoursuponthisPrinceorthat。Shehadscoresofroyalgodchildren；turnednumberlesswickedpeopleintobeasts，birds，millstones，clocks，pumps，bootjacks，umbrellas，orotherabsurdshapes；and，inaword，wasoneofthemostactiveandofficiousofthewholeCollegeoffairies。
Butaftertwoorthreethousandyearsofthissport，IsupposeBlackstickgrewtiredofit。Orperhapsshethought，’WhatgoodamIdoingbysendingthisPrincesstosleepforahundredyears？
byfixingablackpuddingontothatbooby’snose？bycausingdiamondsandpearlstodropfromonelittlegirl’smouth，andvipersandtoadsfromanother’s？IbegintothinkIdoasmuchharmasgoodbymyperformances。Imightaswellshutmyincantationsup，andallowthingstotaketheirnaturalcourse。
’Thereweremytwoyounggoddaughters，KingSavio’swife，andDukePadella’swife，Igavethemeachapresent，whichwastorenderthemcharmingintheeyesoftheirhusbands，andsecuretheaffectionofthosegentlemenaslongastheylived。WhatgooddidmyRoseandmyRingdothesetwowomen？Noneonearth。
Fromhavingalltheirwhimsindulgedbytheirhusbands，theybecamecapricious，lazy，ill—humoured，absurdlyvain，andleeredandlanguished，andfanciedthemselvesirresistiblybeautiful，whentheywerereallyquiteoldandhideous，theridiculouscreatures!TheyusedactuallytopatronisemewhenIwenttopaythemavisit——ME，theFairyBlackstick，whoknowsallthewisdomofthenecromancers，andcouldhaveturnedthemintobaboons，andalltheirdiamondsintostringsofonions，byasinglewaveofmyrod!’Soshelockedupherbooksinhercupboard，declinedfurthermagicalperformances，andscarcelyusedherwandatallexceptasacanetowalkaboutwith。
SowhenDukePadella’sladyhadalittleson（theDukewasatthattimeonlyoneoftheprincipalnoblemeninCrimTartary），Blackstick，althoughinvitedtothechristening，wouldnotsomuchasattend；butmerelysenthercomplimentsandasilverpapboatforthebaby，whichwasreallynotworthacoupleofguineas。AboutthesametimetheQueenofPaflagoniapresentedHisMajestywithasonandheir；andgunswerefired，thecapitalilluminated，andnoendoffeastsordainedtocelebratetheyoungPrince’sbirth。Itwasthoughtthefairy，whowasaskedtobehisgodmother，wouldatleasthavepresentedhimwithaninvisiblejacket，aflyinghorse，aFortunatus’spurse，orsomeothervaluabletokenofherfavour；butinstead，BlackstickwentuptothecradleofthechildGiglio，wheneverybodywasadmiringhimandcomplimentinghisroyalpapaandmamma，andsaid，’Mypoorchild，thebestthingIcansendyouisalittleMISFORTUNE’；andthiswasallshewouldutter，tothedisgustofGiglio’sparents，whodiedverysoonafter，whenGiglio’suncletookthethrone，aswereadinChapterI。
Inlikemanner，whenCAVOLFIORE，KingofCrimTartary，hadachristeningofhisonlychild，ROSALBA，theFairyBlackstick，whohadbeeninvited，wasnotmoregraciousthaninPrinceGiglio’scase。Whilsteverybodywasexpatiatingoverthebeautyofthedarlingchild，andcongratulatingitsparents，theFairyBlacksticklookedverysadlyatthebabyanditsmother，andsaid，’Mygoodwoman（fortheFairywasveryfamiliar，andnomoremindedaQueenthanawasherwoman）——mygoodwoman，thesepeoplewhoarefollowingyouwillbethefirsttoturnagainstyou；andasforthislittlelady，thebestthingIcanwishherisaLITTLEMISFORTUNE。’SoshetouchedRosalbawithherblackwand，lookedseverelyatthecourtiers，motionedtheQueenanadieuwithherhand，andsailedslowlyupintotheairoutofthewindow。
Whenshewasgone，theCourtpeople，whohadbeenawedandsilentinherpresence，begantospeak。’WhatanodiousFairysheis（theysaid）——aprettyFairy，indeed!Why，shewenttotheKingofPaflagonia’schristening，andpretendedtodoallsortsofthingsforthatfamily；andwhathashappened——thePrince，hergodson，hasbeenturnedoffhisthronebyhisuncle。WouldweallowoursweetPrincesstobedeprivedofherrightsbyanyenemy？Never，never，never，never!’
Andtheyallshoutedinachorus，’Never，never，never，never!’
Now，Ishouldliketoknow，andhowdidthesefinecourtiersshowtheirfidelity？OneofKingCavolfiore’svassals，theDukePadellajustmentioned，rebelledagainsttheKing，whowentouttochastisehisrebellioussubject。’AnyonerebelagainstourbelovedandaugustMonarch!’criedthecourtiers；’anyoneresistHIM？Pooh!Heisinvincible，irresistible。HewillbringhomePadellaaprisoner，andtiehimtoadonkey’stail，anddrivehimroundthetown，saying，\"ThisisthewaytheGreatCavolfioretreatsrebels。\"’
TheKingwentforthtovanquishPadella；andthepoorQueen，whowasaverytimid，anxiouscreature，grewsofrightenedandillthatIamsorrytosayshedied；leavinginjunctionswithherladiestotakecareofthedearlittleRosalba。——Ofcoursetheysaidtheywould。OfcoursetheyvowedtheywoulddieratherthananyharmshouldhappentothePrincess。AtfirsttheCrimTartarCourtJournalstatedthattheKingwasobtaininggreatvictoriesovertheaudaciousrebel：thenitwasannouncedthatthetroopsoftheinfamousPadellawereinflight：thenitwassaidthattheroyalarmywouldsooncomeupwiththeenemy，andthen——thenthenewscamethatKingCavolfiorewasvanquishedandslainbyHisMajesty，KingPadellatheFirst!
Atthisnews，halfthecourtiersranofftopaytheirdutytotheconqueringchief，andtheotherhalfranaway，layinghandsonallthebestarticlesinthepalace；andpoorlittleRosalbawaslefttherequitealone——quitealone；andshetoddledfromoneroomtoanother，crying，’Countess!Duchess!’（Onlyshesaid’Tountess，Duttess，’notbeingabletospeakplain）’bringmemymuttonsop；myRoyalHighnesshungy!Tountess!Duttess!’Andshewentfromtheprivateapartmentsintothethrone—roomandnobodywasthere；——andthenceintotheballroomandnobodywasthere；——andthenceintothepages’roomandnobodywasthere；
——andshetoddleddownthegreatstaircaseintothehallandnobodywasthere；——andthedoorwasopen，andshewentintothecourt，andintothegarden，andthenceintothewilderness，andthenceintotheforestwherethewildbeastslive，andwasneverheardofanymore!
Apieceofhertornmantleandoneofhershoeswerefoundinthewoodinthemouthsoftwolionesses’cubswhomKINGPADELLAandaroyalhuntingpartyshot——forhewasKingnow，andreignedoverCrimTartary。’SothepoorlittlePrincessisdonefor，’saidhe；’well，what’sdonecan’tbehelped。Gentlemen，letusgotoluncheon!’Andoneofthecourtierstookuptheshoeandputitinhispocket。AndtherewasanendofRosalba!
IV。HOWBLACKSTICKWASNOTASKEDTOTHEPRINCESSANGELICA’S
CHRISTENING
WhenthePrincessAngelicawasborn，herparentsnotonlydidnotasktheFairyBlacksticktothechristeningparty，butgaveorderstotheirporterabsolutelytorefuseherifshecalled。
Thisporter’snamewasGruffanuff，andhehadbeenselectedforthepostbytheirRoyalHighnessesbecausehewasaverytallfierceman，whocouldsay’Notathome’toatradesmanoranunwelcomevisitorwitharudenesswhichfrightenedmostsuchpersonsaway。HewasthehusbandofthatCountesswhosepicturewehavejustseen，andaslongastheyweretogethertheyquarrelledfrommorningtillnight。Nowthisfellowtriedhisrudenessoncetoooften，asyoushallhear。FortheFairyBlackstickcomingtocalluponthePrinceandPrincess，whowereactuallysittingattheopendrawing—roomwindow，Gruffanuffnotonlydeniedthem，butmadethemostODIOUSVULGARSIGNashewasgoingtoslamthedoorintheFairy’sface!’Gitaway，holdBlackstick!’saidhe。’Itellyou，MasterandMissisain’tathometoyou；’andhewas，aswehavesaid，GOINGtoslamthedoor。
ButtheFairy，withherwand，preventedthedoorbeingshut；andGruffanuffcameoutagaininafury，swearinginthemostabominableway，andaskingtheFairy’whethershethoughthewasagoingtostayatthattheredoorhallday？’
’YouAREgoingtostayatthatdooralldayandallnight，andformanyalongyear，’theFairysaid，verymajestically；andGruffanuff，comingoutofthedoor，straddlingbeforeitwithhisgreatcalves，burstoutlaughing，andcried，’Ha，ha，ha!thisisagoodun!Ha——ah——what’sthis？Letmedown——O——o——H’m!’andthenhewasdumb!
For，astheFairywavedherwandoverhim，hefelthimselfrisingofftheground，andflutteringupagainstthedoor，andthen，asifascrewranintohisstomach，hefeltadreadfulpainthere，andwaspinnedtothedoor；andthenhisarmsflewupoverhishead；andhislegs，afterwrithingaboutwildly，twistedunderhisbody；andhefeltcold，cold，growingoverhim，asifhewasturningintometal；andhesaid，’O——o——H’m!’andcouldsaynomore，becausehewasdumb。
HeWASturnedintometal!Hewas，frombeingBRAZEN，BRASS!Hewasneithermorenorlessthanaknocker!Andtherehewas，nailedtothedoorintheblazingsummerday，tillheburnedalmostred—hot；andtherehewas，nailedtothedoorallthebitterwinternights，tillhisbrassnosewasdroppingwithicicles。Andthepostmancameandrappedathim，andthevulgarestboywithalettercameandhithimupagainstthedoor。
AndtheKingandQueen（PrincessandPrincetheywerethen）
cominghomefromawalkthatevening，theKingsaid，’Hullo，mydear!youhavehadanewknockerputonthedoor。Why，it’sratherlikeourporterintheface!Whathasbecomeofthatboozyvagabond？’Andthehouse—maidcameandscrubbedhisnosewithsandpaper；andonce，whenthePrincessAngelica’slittlesisterwasborn，hewastiedupinanoldkidglove；and，anothernight，someLARKINGyoungmentriedtowrenchhimoff，andputhimtothemostexcruciatingagonywithaturnscrew。AndthentheQueenhadafancytohavethecolourofthedooraltered；andthepaintersdabbedhimoverthemouthandeyes，andnearlychokedhim，astheypaintedhimpea—green。IwarranthehadleisuretorepentofhavingbeenrudetotheFairyBlackstick!
Asforhiswife，shedidnotmisshim；andashewasalwaysguzzlingbeeratthepublic—house，andnotoriouslyquarrellingwithhiswife，andindebttothetradesmen，itwassupposedhehadrunawayfromalltheseevils，andemigratedtoAustraliaorAmerica。AndwhenthePrinceandPrincesschosetobecomeKingandQueen，theylefttheiroldhouse，andnobodythoughtoftheporteranymore。
V。HOWPRINCESSANGELICATOOKALITTLEMAID
Oneday，whenthePrincessAngelicawasquitealittlegirl，shewaswalkinginthegardenofthepalace，withMrs。Gruffanuff，thegoverness，holdingaparasoloverherhead，tokeephersweetcomplexionfromthefreckles，andAngelicawascarryingabun，tofeedtheswansandducksintheroyalpond。
Theyhadnotreachedtheduck—pond，whentherecametoddlinguptothemsuchafunnylittlegirl!Shehadagreatquantityofhairblowingaboutherchubbylittlecheeks，andlookedasifshehadnotbeenwashedorcombedforeversolong。Sheworearaggedbitofacloak，andhadonlyoneshoeon。
’Youlittlewretch，wholetyouinhere？’askedMrs。Gruffanuff。
’Divmedatbun，’saidthelittlegirl，’mevelyhungy。’
’Hungry!whatisthat？’askedPrincessAngelica，andgavethechildthebun。
’Oh，Princess!’saysMrs。Gruffanuff，’howgood，howkind，howtrulyangelicalyouare!See，YourMajesties，’shesaidtotheKingandQueen，whonowcameup，alongwiththeirnephew，PrinceGiglio，’howkindthePrincessis!Shemetthislittledirtywretchinthegarden——Ican’ttellhowshecameinhere，orwhytheguardsdidnotshootherdeadatthegate!——andthedeardarlingofaPrincesshasgivenherthewholeofherbun!’
’Ididn’twantit，’saidAngelical’Butyouareadarlinglittleangelallthesame，’saysthegoverness。
’Yes；IknowIam，’saidAngelical’Dirtylittlegirl，don’tyouthinkIamverypretty？’Indeed，shehadonthefinestoflittledressesandhats；and，asherhairwascarefullycurled，shereallylookedverywell。
’Oh，pooty，pooty!’saysthelittlegirl，caperingabout，laughing，anddancing，andmunchingherbun；andassheateitshebegantosing，’Oh，whatfuntohaveaplumbun!howIwisitneverwasdone!’Atwhich，andherfunnyaccent，Angelica，Giglio，andtheKingandQueenbegantolaughverymerrily。
’Icandanceaswellassing，’saysthelittlegirl。’Icandance，andIcansing，andIcandoallsortsofting。’Andsherantoaflower—bed，andpullingafewpolyanthuses，rhododendrons，andotherflowers，madeherselfalittlewreath，anddancedbeforetheKingandQueensodrollyandprettily，thateverybodywasdelighted。
’Whowasyourmother——whowereyourrelations，littlegirl？’saidtheQueen。
Thelittlegirlsaid，’Littlelionwasmybrudder；greatbiglionessmymudder；neberheardofanyudder。’Andshecaperedawayonheroneshoe，andeverybodywasexceedinglydiverted。
SoAngelicasaidtotheQueen，’Mamma，myparrotflewawayyesterdayoutofitscage，andIdon’tcareanymoreforanyofmytoys；andIthinkthisfunnylittledirtychildwillamuseme。
Iwilltakeherhome，andgivehersomeofmyoldfrocks。’
’Oh，thegenerousdarling!’saysMrs。Gruffanuff。
’WhichIhaveworneversomanytimes，andamquitetiredof，’
Angelicawenton；’andsheshallbemylittlemaid。Willyoucomehomewithme，littledirtygirl？’
Thechildclappedherhands，andsaid，’Gohomewithyou——yes!
YoupootyPrincess!——Haveanicedinner，andwearanewdress!’
Andtheyalllaughedagain，andtookhomethechildtothepalace，where，whenshewaswashedandcombed，andhadoneofthePrincess’sfrocksgiventoher，shelookedashandsomeasAngelica，almost。NotthatAngelicaeverthoughtso；forthislittleladyneverimaginedthatanybodyintheworldcouldbeaspretty，asgood，orascleverasherself。Inorderthatthelittlegirlshouldnotbecometooproudandconceited，Mrs。
Gruffanufftookheroldraggedmantleandoneshoe，andputthemintoaglassbox，withacardlaiduponthem，uponwhichwaswritten，’TheseweretheoldclothesinwhichlittleBETSINDAwasfoundwhenthegreatgoodnessandadmirablekindnessofHerRoyalHighnessthePrincessAngelicareceivedthislittleoutcast。’
Andthedatewasadded，andtheboxlockedup。
ForawhilelittleBetsindawasagreatfavouritewiththePrincess，andshedanced，andsang，andmadeherlittlerhymes，toamusehermistress。ButthenthePrincessgotamonkey，andafterwardsalittledog，andafterwardsadoll，anddidnotcareforBetsindaanymore，whobecameverymelancholyandquiet，andsangnomorefunnysongs，becausenobodycaredtohearher。Andthen，asshegrewolder，shewasmadealittlelady’s—maidtothePrincess；andthoughshehadnowages，sheworkedandmended，andputAngelica’shairinpapers，andwasnevercrosswhenscolded，andwasalwayseagertopleasehermistress，andwasalwaysupearlyandtobedlate，andathandwhenwanted，andinfactbecameaperfectlittlemaid。Sothetwogirlsgrewup，and，whenthePrincesscameout，Betsindawasnevertiredofwaitingonher；andmadeherdressesbetterthanthebestmilliner，andwasusefulinahundredways。WhilstthePrincesswashavinghermasters，Betsindawouldsitandwatchthem；andinthiswayshepickedupagreatdealoflearning；forshewasalwaysawake，thoughhermistresswasnot，andlistenedtothewiseprofessorswhenAngelicawasyawningorthinkingofthenextball。Andwhenthedancing—mastercame，BetsindalearnedalongwithAngelica；
andwhenthemusic—mastercame，shewatchedhim，andpracticedthePrincess’spieceswhenAngelicawasawayatballsandparties；andwhenthedrawing—mastercame，shetooknoteofallhesaidanddid；andthesamewithFrench，Italian，andallotherlanguages——shelearnedthemfromtheteacherwhocametoAngelica。WhenthePrincesswasgoingoutofaneveningshewouldsay，’MygoodBetsinda，youmayaswellfinishwhatIhavebegun。’’Yes，miss，’Betsindawouldsay，andsitdownverycheerful，nottoFINISHwhatAngelicabegan，buttoDOit。
Forinstance，thePrincesswouldbeginaheadofawarrior，letussay，andwhenitwasbegunitwassomethinglikethis——
Butwhenitwasdone，thewarriorwaslikethis——
（onlyhandsomerstillifpossible），andthePrincessputhernametothedrawing；andtheCourtandKingandQueen，andaboveallpoorGiglio，admiredthepictureofallthings，andsaid，’WasthereeverageniuslikeAngelica？’So，Iamsorrytosay，wasitwiththePrincess’sembroideryandotheraccomplishments；andAngelicaactuallybelievedthatshedidthesethingsherself，andreceivedalltheflatteryoftheCourtasifeverywordofitwastrue。Thusshebegantothinkthattherewasnoyoungwomaninalltheworldequaltoherself，andthatnoyoungmanwasgoodenoughforher。AsforBetsinda，assheheardnoneofthesepraises，shewasnotpuffedupbythem，andbeingamostgrateful，good—naturedgirl，shewasonlytooanxioustodoeverythingwhichmightgivehermistresspleasure。NowyoubegintoperceivethatAngelicahadfaultsofherown，andwasbynomeanssuchawonderofwondersaspeoplerepresentedHerRoyalHighnesstobe。
VI。HOWPRINCEGIGLIOBEHAVEDHIMSELF
AndnowletusspeakaboutPrinceGiglio，thenephewofthereigningmonarchofPaflagonia。Ithasalreadybeenstated，inpageseven，thataslongashehadasmartcoattowear，agoodhorsetoride，andmoneyinhispocket，orrathertotakeoutofhispocket，forhewasverygood—natured，myyoungPrincedidnotcareforthelossofhiscrownandsceptre，beingathoughtlessyouth，notmuchinclinedtopoliticsoranykindoflearning。Sohistutorhadasinecure。Gigliowouldnotlearnclassicsormathematics，andtheLordChancellorofPaflagonia，SQUARETOSO，pulledaverylongfacebecausethePrincecouldnotbegottostudythePaflagonianlawsandconstitution；but，ontheotherhand，theKing’sgamekeepersandhuntsmenfoundthePrinceanaptpupil；thedancing—masterpronouncedthathewasamostelegantandassiduousscholar；theFirstLordoftheBilliardTablegavethemostflatteringreportsofthePrince’sskill；sodidtheGroomoftheTennisCourt；andasfortheCaptainoftheGuardandFencingMaster，theVALIANTandVETERANCountKUTASOFF
HEDZOFF，heavowedthatsinceherantheGeneralofCrimTartary，thedreadfulGrumbuskin，throughthebody，heneverhadencounteredsoexpertaswordsmanasPrinceGiglio。
IhopeyoudonotimaginethattherewasanyimproprietyinthePrinceandPrincesswalkingtogetherinthepalacegarden，andbecauseGigliokissedAngelica’shandinapolitemanner。Inthefirstplacetheyarecousins；next，theQueeniswalkinginthegardentoo（youcannotseeher，forshehappenstobebehindthattree），andHerMajestyalwayswishedthatAngelicaandGiglioshouldmarry：sodidGiglio：sodidAngelicasometimes，forshethoughthercousinveryhandsome，brave，andgood—natured：butthenyouknowshewassocleverandknewsomanythings，andpoorGiglioknewnothing，andhadnoconversation。Whentheylookedatthestars，whatdidGiglioknowoftheheavenlybodies？Once，whenonasweetnightinabalconywheretheywerestanding，Angelicasaid，’ThereistheBear。’’Where？’saysGiglio。
’Don’tbeafraid，Angelica!ifadozenbearscome，Iwillkillthemratherthantheyshallhurtyou。’’Oh，yousillycreature!’
saysshe；’youareverygood，butyouarenotverywise。’Whentheylookedattheflowers，Gigliowasutterlyunacquaintedwithbotany，andhadneverheardofLinnaeus。Whenthebutterfliespassed，Giglioknewnothingaboutthem，beingasignorantofentomologyasIamofalgebra。Soyousee，Angelica，thoughshelikedGiglioprettywell，despisedhimonaccountofhisignorance。IthinksheprobablyvaluedHEROWNLEARNINGrathertoomuch；buttothinktoowellofone’sselfisthefaultofpeopleofallagesandbothsexes。Finally，whennobodyelsewasthere，Angelicalikedhercousinwellenough。
KingValorosowasverydelicateinhealth，andwithalsofondofgooddinners（whichwerepreparedforhimbyhisFrenchcookMarmitonio），thatitwassupposedhecouldnotlivelong。NowtheideaofanythinghappeningtotheKingstrucktheartfulPrimeMinisterandthedesigningoldlady—in—waitingwithterror。
For，thoughtGlumbosoandtheCountess，’whenPrinceGigliomarrieshiscousinandcomestothethrone，whataprettypositionweshallbein，whomhedislikes，andwhohavealwaysbeenunkindtohim。Weshallloseourplacesinatrice；Mrs。
Gruffanuffwillhavetogiveupallthejewels，laces，snuff—boxes，rings，andwatcheswhichbelongedtotheQueen，Giglio’smother；andGlumbosowillbeforcedtorefundtwohundredandseventeenthousandmillionsninehundredandeighty—seventhousandfourhundredandthirty—ninepounds，thirteenshillings，andsixpencehalfpenny，moneylefttoPrinceGigliobyhispoordearfather。’
SotheLadyofHonourandthePrimeMinisterhatedGigliobecausetheyhaddonehimawrong；andtheseunprincipledpeopleinventedahundredcruelstoriesaboutpoorGiglio，inordertoinfluencetheKing，Queen，andPrincessagainsthim；howhewassoignorantthathecouldnotspellthecommonestwords，andactuallywroteValorosoValloroso，andspeltAngelicawithtwol’s；howhedrankagreatdealtoomuchwineatdinner，andwasalwaysidlinginthestableswiththegrooms；howheowedeversomuchmoneyatthepastry—cook’sandthehaberdasher’s；howheusedtogotosleepatchurch；howhewasfondofplayingcardswiththepages。
SodidtheQueenlikeplayingcards；sodidtheKinggotosleepatchurch，andeatanddrinktoomuch；and，ifGiglioowedatriflefortarts，whoowedhimtwohundredandseventeenthousandmillionsninehundredandeighty—seventhousandfourhundredandthirty—ninepounds，thirteenshillings，andsixpencehalfpenny，I
shouldliketoknow？Detractorsandtale—bearers（inmyhumbleopinion）hadmuchbetterlookatHOME。AllthisbackbitingandslanderinghadeffectuponPrincessAngelica，whobegantolookcoldlyonhercousin，thentolaughathimandscornhimforbeingsostupid，thentosneerathimforhavingvulgarassociates；andatCourtballs，dinners，andsoforth，totreathimsounkindlythatpoorGigliobecamequiteill，tooktohisbed，andsentforthedoctor。
HisMajestyKingValoroso，aswehaveseen，hadhisownreasonsfordislikinghisnephew；andasforthoseinnocentreaderswhoaskwhy？——Ibeg（withthepermissionoftheirdearparents）toreferthemtoShakespeare’spages，wheretheywillreadwhyKingJohndislikedPrinceArthur。WiththeQueen，hisroyalbutweak—mindedaunt，whenGigliowasoutofsighthewasoutofmind。Whileshehadherwhistandhereveningparties，shecaredforlittleelse。
IdaresayTWOVILLAINS，whoshallbenameless，wishedDoctorPildrafto，theCourtPhysician，hadkilledGigliorightout，butheonlybledandphysickedhimsoseverelythatthePrincewaskepttohisroomforseveralmonths，andgrewasthinasapost。
Whilsthewaslyingsickinthisway，therecametotheCourtofPaflagoniaafamouspainter，whosenamewasTomasoLorenzo，andwhowasPainterinOrdinarytotheKingofCrimTartary，Paflagonia’sneighbour。TomasoLorenzopaintedalltheCourt，whoweredelightedwithhisworks；forevenCountessGruffanufflookedyoungandGlumbosogood—humouredinhispictures。’Heflattersverymuch，’somepeoplesaid。’Nay!’saysPrincessAngelica，’Iamaboveflattery，andIthinkhedidnotmakemypicturehandsomeenough。Ican’tbeartohearamanofgeniusunjustlycrieddown，andIhopemydearpapawillmakeLorenzoaknightofhisOrderoftheCucumber。’
ThePrincessAngelica，althoughthecourtiersvowedHerRoyalHighnesscoulddrawsoBEAUTIFULLYthattheideaofhertakinglessonswasabsurd，yetchosetohaveLorenzoforateacher，anditwaswonderful，ASLONGASSHEPAINTEDINHISSTUDIO，whatbeautifulpicturesshemade!SomeoftheperformanceswereengravedfortheBookofBeauty：othersweresoldforenormoussumsatCharityBazaars。ShewrotetheSIGNATURESunderthedrawings，nodoubt，butIthinkIknowwho—didthepictures——thisartfulpainter，whohadcomewithotherdesignsonAngelicathanmerelytoteachhertodraw。
Oneday，LorenzoshowedthePrincessaportraitofayoungmaninarmour，withfairhairandtheloveliestblueeyes，andanexpressionatoncemelancholyandinteresting。
’DearSignorLorenzo，whoisthis？’askedthePrincess。
\"Ineversawanyonesohandsome，’saysCountessGruffanuff（theoldhumbug）。
’That，’saidthepainter，’that，Madam，istheportraitofmyaugustyoungmaster，hisRoyalHighnessBulbo，CrownPrinceofCrimTartary，DukeofAcroceraunia，MarquisofPoluphloisboio，andKnightGrandCrossoftheOrderofthePumpkin。ThatistheorderofthePumpkinglitteringonhismanlybreast，andreceivedbyHisRoyalHighnessfromhisaugustfather，HisMajestyKingPADELLAI。，forhisgallantryatthebattleofRimbombamento，whenheslewwithhisownprincelyhandtheKingofOgrariaandtwohundredandelevengiantsofthetwohundredandeighteenwhoformedtheKing’sbodyguard。TheremainderweredestroyedbythebraveCrimTartararmyafteranobstinatecombat，inwhichtheCrimTartarssufferedseverely。’
WhataPrince!thoughtAngelica：sobrave——socalm—looking——soyoung——whatahero!
’Heisasaccomplishedasheisbrave，’continuedtheCourtPainter。’Heknowsalllanguagesperfectly：singsdeliciously：
playseveryinstrument：composesoperaswhichhavebeenactedathousandnightsrunningattheImperialTheatreofCrimTartary，anddancedinaballettherebeforetheKingandQueen；inwhichhelookedsobeautiful，thathiscousin，thelovelydaughteroftheKingofCircassia，diedforloveofhim。’
’WhydidhenotmarrythepoorPrincess？’askedAngelica，withasigh。
’BecausetheywereFIRSTCOUSINS，Madam，andtheclergyforbidtheseunions，’saidthePainter。’And，besides，theyoungPrincehadgivenhisroyalheartELSEWHERE。’
’Andtowhom？’askedHerRoyalHighness。
’IamnotatlibertytomentionthePrincess’sname，’answeredthePainter。
’Butyoumaytellmethefirstletterofit，’gaspedoutthePrincess。
’ThatYourRoyalHighnessisatlibertytoguess，’saidLorenzo。
’DoesitbeginwithaZ？’askedAngelica。
ThePaintersaiditwasn’taZ；thenshetriedaY；thenanX；
thenaW，andwentsobackwardsthroughalmostthewholealphabet。
WhenshecametoD，anditwasn’tD，shegrewveryexcited；whenshecametoC，anditwasn’tC，shewasstillmorenervous；whenshecametoB，ANDITWASN’TB，’OdearestGruffanuff，’shesaid，’lendmeyoursmelling—bottle!’and，hidingherheadintheCountess’sshoulder，shefaintlywhispered，’Ah，Signor，canitbeA？’
’ItwasA；andthoughImaynot，bymyRoyalMaster’sorders，tellYourRoyalHighnessthePrincess’sname，whomhefondly，madly，devotedly，rapturouslyloves，Imayshowyouherportrait，’saysthisslyboots：andleadingthePrincessuptoagiltframe，hedrewacurtainwhichwasbeforeit。
Ogoodness!theframecontainedALOOKING—GLASS!andAngelicasawherownface!
VII。HOWGIGLIOANDANGELICAHADAQUARREL
TheCourtPainterofHisMajestytheKingofCrimTartaryreturnedtothatmonarch’sdominions，carryingawayanumberofsketcheswhichhehadmadeinthePaflagoniancapital（youknow，ofcourse，mydears，thatthenameofthatcapitalisBlombodinga）；butthemostcharmingofallhispieceswasaportraitofthePrincessAngelica，whichalltheCrimTartarnoblescametosee。WiththisworktheKingwassodelighted，thathedecoratedthePainterwithhisOrderofthePumpkin（sixthclass）andtheartistbecameSirTomasoLorenzo，K。P。，thenceforth。
KingValorosoalsosentSirTomasohisOrderoftheCucumber，besidesahandsomeorderformoney，forhepaintedtheKing，Queen，andprincipalnobilitywhileatBlombodinga，andbecameallthefashion，totheperfectrageofalltheartistsinPaflagonia，wheretheKingusedtopointtotheportraitofPrinceBulbo，whichSirTomasohadleftbehindhim，andsay’Whichamongyoucanpaintapicturelikethat？’
Ithungintheroyalparlourovertheroyalsideboard，andPrincessAngelicacouldalwayslookatitasshesatmakingthetea。Eachdayitseemedtogrowhandsomerandhandsomer，andthePrincessgrewsofondoflookingatit，thatshewouldoftenspilltheteaoverthecloth，atwhichherfatherandmotherwouldwinkandwagtheirheads，andsaytoeachother，’Aha!weseehowthingsaregoing。’
InthemeantimepoorGigliolayupstairsverysickinhischamber，thoughhetookallthedoctor’shorriblemedicineslikeagoodyounglad；asIhopeYOUdo，mydears，whenyouareillandmammasendsforthemedicalman。AndtheonlypersonwhovisitedGiglio（besideshisfriendthecaptainoftheguard，whowasalmostalwaysbusyoronparade），waslittleBetsindathehousemaid，whousedtodohisbedroomandsitting—roomout，bringhimhisgruel，andwarmhisbed。
Whenthelittlehousemaidcametohiminthemorningandevening，PrinceGigliousedtosay，’Betsinda，Betsinda，howisthePrincessAngelica？’
AndBetsindausedtoanswer，’ThePrincessisverywell，thankyou，myLord。’AndGigliowouldheaveasigh，andthink，ifAngelicaweresick，Iamsure_I_shouldnotbeverywell。
ThenGigliowouldsay，’Betsinda，hasthePrincessAngelicaaskedformetoday？’AndBetsindawouldanswer，’No，myLord，nottoday’；or，’shewasverybusypracticingthepianowhenIsawher’；or，’shewaswritinginvitationsforaneveningparty，anddidnotspeaktome’；ormakesomeexcuseorother，notstrictlyconsonantwithtruth：forBetsindawassuchagood—naturedcreaturethatshestrovetodoeverythingtopreventannoyancetoPrinceGiglio，andevenbroughthimuproastchickenandjelliesfromthekitchen（whentheDoctorallowedthem，andGigliowasgettingbetter），saying，’thatthePrincesshadmadethejelly，orthebread—sauce，withherownhands，onpurposeforGiglio。’
WhenGiglioheardthishetookheartandbegantomendimmediately；andgobbledupallthejelly，andpickedthelastboneofthechicken——drumsticks，merry—thought，sides’—bones，back，pope’snose，andall——thankinghisdearAngelica；andhefeltsomuchbetterthenextday，thathedressedandwentdownstairs，where，whomshouldhemeetbutAngelicagoingintothedrawing—room？Allthecoverswereoffthechairs，thechandelierstakenoutofthebags，thedamaskcurtainsuncovered，theworkandthingscarriedaway，andthehandsomestalbumsonthetables。Angelicahadherhairinpapers：inaword，itwasevidenttherewasgoingtobeaparty。
’Heavens，Giglio!’criesAngelica：’YOUhereinsuchadress!
Whatafigureyouare!’
’Yes，dearAngelica，Iamcomedownstairs，andfeelsowelltoday，thankstotheFOWLandtheJELLY。’
’WhatdoIknowaboutfowlsandjellies，thatyoualludetotheminthatrudeway？’saysAngelica。
’Why，didn’t——didn’tyousendthem，Angelicadear？’saysGiglio。
’Isendthemindeed!Angelicadear!No，Gigliodear，’saysshe，mockinghim，’_I_wasengagedingettingtheroomsreadyforHisRoyalHighnessthePrinceofCrimTartary，whoiscomingtopaymypapa’sCourtavisit。’
’The——Prince——of——Crim——Tartary!’Gigliosaid，aghast。
’Yes，thePrinceofCrimTartary，’saysAngelica，mockinghim。
’Idaresayyouneverheardofsuchacountry。WhatDIDyoueverhearof？Youdon’tknowwhetherCrimTartaryisontheRedSeaorontheBlackSea，Idaresay。’
’Yes，Ido，it’sontheRedSea，’saysGiglio，atwhichthePrincessburstoutlaughingathim，andsaid，’Oh，youninny!Youaresoignorant，youarereallynotfitforsociety!Youknownothingbutabouthorsesanddogs，andareonlyfittodineinamess—roomwithmyRoyalfather’sheaviestdragoons。Don’tlooksosurprisedatme，sir：goandputyourbestclothesontoreceivethePrince，andletmegetthedrawing—roomready。’
Gigliosaid，’Oh，Angelica，Angelica，Ididn’tthinkthisofyou。
THISwasn’tyourlanguagetomewhenyougavemethisring，andI
gaveyoumineinthegarden，andyougavemethatk——’
Butwhatkwaswenevershallknow，forAngelica，inarage，cried，’Getout，yousaucy，rudecreature!Howdareyoutoremindmeofyourrudeness？Asforyourlittletrumperytwopennyring，there，sir，there!’Andsheflungitoutofthewindow。
’Itwasmymother’smarriage—ring，’criedGiglio。
’_I_don’tcarewhosemarriage—ringitwas，’criesAngelica。
’Marrythepersonwhopicksitupifshe’sawoman；youshan’tmarryME。AndgivemebackMYring。I’venopatiencewithpeoplewhoboastaboutthethingstheygiveaway!_I_knowwho’llgivememuchfinerthingsthanyouevergaveme。Abeggarlyringindeed，notworthfiveshillings!’
NowAngelicalittleknewthattheringwhichGigliohadgivenherwasafairyring：ifamanworeit，itmadeallthewomeninlovewithhim；ifawoman，allthegentlemen。TheQueen，Giglio’smother，quiteanordinary—lookingperson，wasadmiredimmenselywhilstsheworethisring，andherhusbandwasfranticwhenshewasill。ButwhenshecalledherlittleGigliotoher，andputtheringonhisfinger，KingSaviodidnotseemtocareforhiswifesomuchanymore，buttransferredallhislovetolittleGiglio。Sodideverybodylovehimaslongashehadthering；butwhen，asquiteachild，hegaveittoAngelica，peoplebegantoloveandadmireHER；andGiglio，asthesayingis，playedonlysecondfiddle。
’Yes，’saysAngelica，goingoninherfoolishungratefulway。
’_I_knowwho’llgivememuchfinerthingsthanyourbeggarlylittlepearlnonsense。’
’Verygood，miss!Youmaytakebackyourringtoo!’saysGiglio，hiseyesflashingfireather，andthen，ashiseyeshadbeensuddenlyopened，hecriedout，’Ha!whatdoesthismean？IsTHIS
thewomanIhavebeeninlovewithallmylife？HaveIbeensuchaninnyastothrowawaymyregarduponyou？Why——actually——
yes——youarealittlecrooked!’
’Oh，youwretch!’criesAngelica。
’And，uponmyconscience，you——yousquintalittle。’
’Eh!’criesAngelica。
’Andyourhairisred——andyouaremarkedwiththesmallpox——andwhat？youhavethreefalseteeth——andonelegshorterthantheother!’
’Youbrute，youbrute，you!’Angelicascreamedout：andassheseizedtheringwithonehand，shedealtGiglioone，two，threesmacksontheface，andwouldhavepulledthehairoffhisheadhadhenotstartedlaughing，andcrying——
’Ohdearme，Angelica，don’tpulloutMYhair，ithurts!YoumightremoveagreatdealofYOUROWN，asIperceive，withoutscissorsorpullingatall。Oh，ho，ho!ha，ha，ha!hohehe!’
Andhenearlychokedhimselfwithlaughing，andshewithrage；
when，withalowbow，anddressedinhisCourthabit，CountGambabella，thefirstlord—in—waiting，enteredandsaid，’RoyalHighnesses!TheirMajestiesexpectyouinthePinkThrone—room，wheretheyawaitthearrivalofthePrinceofCRIMTARTARY。’
VIII。HOWGRUFFANUFFPICKEDTHEFAIRYRINGUP，ANDPRINCEBULBO
CAMETOCOURT
PrinceBulbo’sarrivalhadsetallthecourtinaflutter：
everybodywasorderedtoputhisorherbestclotheson：thefootmenhadtheirgalaliveries；theLordChancellorhisnewwig；
theGuardstheirlastnewtunics；andCountessGruffanuff，youmaybesure，wasgladofanopportunityofdecoratingHERoldpersonwithherfinestthings。ShewaswalkingthroughthecourtofthePalaceonherwaytowaituponTheirMajesties，whensheespiedsomethingglitteringonthepavement，andbadetheboyinbuttonswhowasholdinguphertrain，togoandpickupthearticleshiningyonder。Hewasanuglylittlewretch，insomeofthelategroom—porter’soldclothescutdown，andmuchtootightforhim；andyet，whenhehadtakenupthering（asitturnedouttobe），andwascarryingittohismistress，shethoughthelookedlikealittlecupid。Hegavetheringtoher；itwasatrumperylittlethingenough，buttoosmallforanyofheroldknuckles，sosheputitintoherpocket。
’Oh，mum!’saystheboy，lookingather’how——howbeyoutifulyoudolook，mum，today，mum!’
’Andyou，too，Jacky，’shewasgoingtosay；but，lookingdownathim——no，hewasnolongergood—lookingatall——butonlythecarroty—hairedlittleJackyofthemorning。However，praiseiswelcomefromtheugliestofmenorboys，andGruffanuff，biddingtheboyholduphertrain，walkedoninhighgood—humour。Theguardssalutedherwithpeculiarrespect。CaptainHedzoff，intheanteroom，said，’Mydearmadam，youlooklikeanangeltoday。’Andso，bowingandsmirking，GruffanuffwentinandtookherplacebehindherRoyalMasterandMistress，whowereinthethrone—room，awaitingthePrinceofCrimTartary。PrincessAngelicasatattheirfeet，andbehindtheKing’schairstoodPrinceGiglio，lookingverysavage。
ThePrinceofCrimTartarymadehisappearance，attendedbyBaronSleibootz，hischamberlain，andfollowedbyablackpagecarryingthemostbeautifulcrownyoueversaw!Hewasdressedinhistravellingcostume，andhishair，asyousee，wasalittleindisorder。’Ihaveriddenthreehundredmilessincebreakfast，’
saidhe，’soeagerwasItobeholdthePrin——theCourtandaugustfamilyofPaflagonia，andIcouldnotwaitoneminutebeforeappearinginYourMajesties’presences。’
Giglio，frombehindthethrone，burstoutintoaroarofcontemptuouslaughter；butalltheRoyalparty，infact，weresoflurried，thattheydidnothearthislittleoutbreak。’YourR。
H。iswelcomeinanydress，’saystheKing。’Glumboso，achairforHisRoyalHighness。’
’AnydressHisRoyalHighnesswearsISaCourtdress，’saysPrincessAngelica，smilinggraciously。
’Ah!butyoushouldseemyotherclothes，’saidthePrince。’I
shouldhavehadthemon，butthatstupidcarrierhasnotbroughtthem。Who’sthatlaughing？’
ItwasGigliolaughing。’Iwaslaughing，’hesaid，’becauseyousaidjustnowthatyouwereinsuchahurrytoseethePrincess，thatyoucouldnotwaittochangeyourdress；andnowyousayyoucomeinthoseclothesbecauseyouhavenoothers。’
’Andwhoareyou？’saysPrinceBulbo，veryfiercely。
’MyfatherwasKingofthiscountry，andIamhisonlyson，Prince!’repliesGiglio，withequalhaughtiness。