XIX。
TheearlyMondaymorningtrainwhichbroughtVerrianuptotownwassoveryearlythathecouldsitdowntobreakfastwithhismotheronlyalittlelaterthantheirusualhour。
Shehadcalledjoyfullytohimfromherroom,whensheheardtherattlingofhiskeyashelethimselfintotheapartment,and,afteranexchangeofgreetings,shoutedbackandforthbeforetheysaweachother,theycouldcomeatoncetothehistoryofhisabsenceovertheircoffee。
\"Youmusthavehadaverygoodtime,tostaysolong。AfteryouwrotethatyouwouldnotbebackThursday,IexpecteditwouldbeSaturdaytillIgotyourtelegram。ButI’mgladyoustayed。Youcertainlyneededtherest。\"
\"Yes,ifthosethingsareeverarest。\"Helookeddownathiscupwhilehestirredthecoffeeinit,andshestudiedhisattitude,sinceshecouldnotseehisfacefully,forthesecretofanyvitalchangethatmighthavecomeuponhim。Itcouldbethatintheintervalsinceshehadseenhimhehadseenthewomanwhowastotakehimfromher。Shewasalwayspreparingherselfforthat,knowingthatitmustcomealmostascertainlyasdeath,andknowingthatwithallherpreparationsheshouldnotbereadyforit。\"I’vegotratheralongstorytotellyouandratherastrangestory,\"hesaid,liftinghisheadandlookinground,butnotsoimpersonallythathismotherdidnotknowwellenoughtosaytotheSwedishserving-woman:
\"Youneedn’tstay,Margit。I’llgiveMr。Philiphisbreakfast。Well!\"
sheadded,whentheywerealone。
\"Well,\"hereturned,withasmilethatsheknewhewasforcing,\"Ihaveseenthegirlthatwrotethatletter。\"
\"NotJerushaBrown?\"
\"NotJerushaBrown,butthegirlallthesame。\"
\"Nowgoon,Philip,anddon’tmissasingleword!\"shecommandedhim,withanimperiousbreathlessness。\"YouknowIwon’thurryyouorinterruptyou,butyoumust——youreallymust-tellmeeverything。Don’tleaveouttheslightestdetail。\"
\"Iwon’t,\"hesaid。Butshewasaware,fromtimetotime,thatshewaskeepingherwordbetterthanhewaskeepinghis,inhisaccountofmeetingMissShirleyandallthefollowingevents。
\"Youcanimagine,\"hesaid,\"whatasensationtheswooningmade,andthecommotionthatfollowedit。\"
\"Yes,Icanimaginethat,\"sheanswered。Butshewasyetsofaithfulthatshewouldnotaskhimtogoon。
Hecontinued,unasked,\"Idon’tknowjusthow,now,toaccountforitscomingintomyheadthatitwasMissAndrewswhowasmyunknowncorrespondent。IsupposeI’vealwaysunconsciouslyexpectedtomeetthatgirl,andMissAndrews’shypotheticalcasewaspsychologicallysoparallel——\"
\"Yes,yes!\"
\"AndI’vesometimesbeenafraidthatIjudgedittooharshly——thatitwasameregirlishfreakwithoutanysortofseriousimport。\"
\"Iwassometimesafraidso,Philip。But——\"
\"AndIdon’tbelievenowthatthehypotheticalcasebroughtanyintolerablestressofconscienceuponMissShirley,orthatshefaintedfromanycausebutexhaustionfromthegeneralordeal。Shewasstillweakfromthesicknessshehadbeenthrough——tooweaktobearthestrainoftheworkshehadtakenup。Ofcourse,thecatastrophegavethewholesurfacesituationaway,andImustsaythatthoseratherbanalyoungpeoplebehavedveryhumanelyaboutit。Therewasnothingbutinterestofthenicestkind,and,ifsheisgoingonwithhercareer,itwillbeeasyenoughforhertofindengagementsafterthis。\"
\"Whyshouldn’tshegoon?\"hismotherasked,withasuspicionwhichshekeptwelloutofsight。
\"Well,aswellasshecouldexplainafterwards,thecatastrophetookherworkoutofthecategoryofbusinessandmadeheracceptanceinitamatterofsentiment。\"
\"Sheexplainedittoyouherself?\"
\"Yes,thegeneralsympathyhadpenetratedtoMrs。Westangle,thoughI
don’tsaythatshehadbeenmorethannegativelyindifferenttoMissShirley’sclaimonherbefore。Asitwas,shesentformetoherroomthenextmorning,andIfoundMissShirleyalonethere。ShesaidMrs。
Westanglewouldbedowninamoment。\"
Now,indeed,Mrs。Verriancouldnotgovernherselffromsaying,\"Idon’tlikeit,Philip。\"
\"Iknewyouwouldn’t。ItwaswhatIsaidtomyselfatthetime。YouweresopresentwithmethatIseemedtohaveyoutherechaperoningtheinterview。\"Hismothershrugged,andhewenton:\"Shesaidshewishedtotellmesomethingfirst,andthenshesaid,\"IwanttodoitwhileIhavethecourage,ifit’scourage;perhapsit’sjustdesperation。IamJerushaBrown。\"
Hismotherbegan,\"Butyousaid——\"andthenstoppedherself。
\"IknowthatIsaidshewasn’t,butsheexplained,whileIsatthererathermum,thattherewasreallyanothergirl,andthattheothergirl’snamewasreallyJerushaBrown。ShewasthedaughterofthepostmasterinthevillagewhereMissShirleywaspassingthesummer。Infact,MissShirleywasboardinginthepostmaster’sfamily,andthegirlshadbecomeveryfriendly。Theywerereadingmystorytogether,andtalkingaboutit,andtryingtoguesshowitwouldcomeout,justasthelettersaid,andtheysimultaneouslyhituponthenotionofwritingtome。Itseemedtothemthatitwouldbeagoodjoke——I’mnotdefendingit,mother,andI
mustsayMissShirleydidn’tdefendit,either——toworkuponmyfeelingsinthewaytheytried,andtheydidn’trealizewhattheyhaddonetillArmiger’slettercame。Italmostdrovethemwild,shesaid;buttheyhadalucidinterval,andtheytookthelettertothegirl’sfatherandtoldhimwhattheyhaddone。Hewasawfullyseverewiththemfortheirfoolishness,andsaidtheymustwritetoArmigeratonceandconfessthefact。Thentheysaidtheyhadwrittenalready,andshowedhimthesecondletter,andexplainedtheyhaddecidedtoletMissBrawnwriteitinherpersonaloneforthereasonshegaveinit。ButMissShirleytoldhimshewasreadytotakeherfullshareoftheblame,and,ifanythingcameofit,sheauthorizedhimtoputthewholeblameonher。\"
Verrianmadeapausewhichhismothertookforinvitationorpermissiontoask,\"Andwashesatisfiedwiththat?\"
\"Idon’tknow。Iwasn’t,andit’sonlyjusttoMissShirleytosaythatshewasn’t,either。Shedidn’ttrytojustifyittome;shemerelysaidshewassofrightenedthatshecouldn’thavedoneanything。ShemayhaverealizedmorethantheBrowngirlwhattheyhaddone。\"
\"Thepostmaster,didheregarditasanythingworsethanfoolishness?\"
\"Idon’tbelievehedid。Atanyrate,hewassatisfiedwithwhathisdaughterhaddoneinowningup。\"
\"Well,Ialwayslikedthatgirl’sletter。Anddidtheyshowhimyourletter?\"
\"Itseemsthattheydid。\"
\"Andwhatdidhesayaboutthat?\"
\"Isuppose,whatIdeserved。MissShirleywouldn’tsay,explicitly。Hewantedtoanswerit,buttheywouldn’tlethim。Idon’tknowbutI
shouldfeelbetterifhehad。Ihaven’tbeenproudofthatletterofmineastimehasgoneon,mother;IthinkIbehavedverynarrow-mindedly,verypersonallyinit。\"
\"Youbehavedjustly。\"
\"Justly?Ithoughtyouhadyourdoubtsofthat。Atanyrate,Ihadwhenitcametohearingthegirlaccusingherselfasifshehadbeenguiltyofsomemonstrouswickedness,andIrealizedthatIhadmadeherfeelso。\"
\"Shethrewherselfonyourpity!\"
\"No,shedidn’t,mother。Don’tmakeitimpossibleformetotellyoujusthowitwas。\"
\"Iwon’t。Goon。\"
\"Idon’tsayshewasmanlyaboutit;thatcouldn’tbe,butshewascertainlynotthrowingherselfonmypity,unless——unless——\"
\"What?\"
\"Unlessyoucallitsoforhertosaythatshewantedtoownuptome,becauseshecouldhavenoresttillshehaddoneso;shecouldn’tputitbehindhertillshehadacknowledgedit;shecouldn’twork;shecouldn’tgetwell。\"
Hesawhismothertryingtoconsideritfairly,andinresponseherenewedhisownresolutionnottomakehimselfthegirl’sadvocatewithher,buttocontinuethedispassionatehistorianofthecase。Atthesametimehismemorywasfilledwiththevisionofhowshehaddoneandsaidthethingshewastelling,withwhatpathos,withwhatgrace,withwhatbeautyinherappeal。Hesawthetearsthatcameintohereyesattimesandthatsheindignantlyrepressedasshehurriedonintheconfessionwhichshewasvoluntarilymaking,fortherewasnooutwardstressuponhertosayanything。Hefeltagainthecharmofthesituation,thesortofwarmthandintimacy,butheresolvednottoletthatfeelingoffsettheimpartialityofhisstory。
\"No,Idon’tsayshethrewherselfonyourmercy,\"hismothersaid,finally。\"Sheneedn’thavetoldyouanything。\"
\"Exceptforthereasonshegave——thatshecouldn’tmakeastartforherselftillshehaddoneso。Andshehasgotherownwaytomake;sheispoor。Ofcourse,youmaysayhermotivewasanobsession,andnotareason。\"
\"There’srealityinit,whateveritis;it’sagenuinemotive,\"Mrs。
Verrianconceded。
\"Ithinkso,\"Verriansaid,inavoicewhichhetriedtokeepfromsoundingtoograteful。
Apparentlyhismotherdidnotfinditso。Sheasked,\"Whathadbeenthematterwithher,didshesay?\"
\"Inherlongsickness?Oh!Anervousfeverofsomesort。\"
\"Fromworryingaboutthatexperience?\"
Verrianreluctantlyadmitted,\"Shesaiditmadeherwanttodie。Idon’tsupposewecanquiterealize——\"
\"Weneedn’tbelieveeverythingshesaidtorealizethatshesuffered。
Butgirlsexaggeratetheirsufferings。Isupposeyoutoldhernottothinkofitanymore?\"
Verriangaveanoddlaugh。\"Well,notunconditionally。Itriedtogivehermypointofview。AndIstipulatedthatsheshouldtellJerushaBrownallaboutit,andkeepherfromhavinganervousfever,too。\"
\"Thatwasright。Youmustseethatevencowardicecouldn’texcuseherselfishnessinlettingthatgirltakeallthechances。\"
\"AndI’mafraidIwasnotveryunselfishmyselfinmystipulations,\"
Verriansaid,withanotherlaugh。\"IthinkthatIwantedtostandwellwiththepostmaster。\"
TherewasanoteofcynicaleaseinthiswhichMrs。Verrianfoundmorallysomeoctaveslowerthanthepitchofherson’shabitualseriousnessinwhatconcernedhimself,butshecouldnotmakeitacensuretohim。\"Andyouwereabletoreassureher,sothatsheneedn’tthinkofitanymore?\"
\"Whatwouldyouhavewishedmetodo?\"hereturned,dryly。\"Don’tyouthinkshehadsufferedenough?\"
\"Oh,inthissortofthingitdoesn’tseemthequestionofsuffering。
Ifthere’swrongdonethepenaltydoesn’trightit。\"
ThenotionstruckVerrian’sartisticsense。\"That’strue。Thatwouldmakethe’donnee’ofastrongstory。Oraplay。It’sadramaoffate。
It’sGreek。ButIthoughtwelivedunderanotherdispensation。\"
\"WillshetrytogetmoreofthekindofthingshewasdoingforMrs。
Westangleatonce?Orhasshesomepeople?\"
\"No;onlyfriends,asIunderstand。\"
\"Whereisshefrom?Upcountry?\"
\"No,she’sfromtheSouth。\"
\"Idon’tlikeSoutherners!\"
\"Iknowyoudon’t,mother。ButyoumusthonorthewaytheyworkandgetonwhentheycomeNorthandbegindoingforthemselves。Besides,MissShirley’sfamilywentSouthafterthewar——\"
\"Oh,notevenaREALSoutherner!\"
\"Mother!\"
\"Iknow!I’mnotfair。Ioughttobegherpardon。AndIoughttobegladit’sallover。Shallyouseeheragain?\"
\"Itmighthappen。ButIdon’tknowhoworwhen。Wepartedfriends,butwepartedstrangers,sofarasanyprevisionofthefutureisconcerned,\"
Verriansaid。
Hismotherdrewalongbreath,whichshetriedtorenderinaudible。
\"Andthegirlthataskedherthestrangequestions,didyouseeheragain?\"
\"Ohyes。Shehadacuriousfascination。Ishouldliketotellyouabouther。Doyouthinkthere’ssuchathingasagirl’sbeingtooinnocent?\"
\"Itisn’tsocommonasnotbeinginnocentenough。\"
\"Butit’smoredifficult?\"
\"Ihopeyou’llneverfinditso,myson,\"Mrs。Verriansaid。Andforthefirsttimeshewasintentionallypersonal。\"Goon。\"
\"AboutMissAndrews?\"
\"Whicheveryouplease。\"
\"Shewaylaidmeintheafternoon,asIwascominghomefromawalk,andwantedtotalkwithmeaboutMissShirley。\"
\"IsupposeMissShirleywastheday’sheroineafterwhathadhappened?\"
\"Thehalf-day’s,orquarter-day’sheroine,perhaps。SheleftonthechurchtrainfortownyesterdaymorningsoonafterIsawher。MissAndrewsseemedtothinkIwasanauthorityonthesubject,andsheapproachedmewithalarge-eyedawethatwasveryamusing,thoughitwasaffecting,too。Isupposethatgirlsmusthavemanyworshipsforothergirlsbeforetheyhaveanyworshipforaman。Thisgirlcouldn’tseparateMissShirley,onthelookoutforanotherengagement,fromthepsychicalpartshehadplayed。Sheravedabouther;shethoughtshewasbeautiful,andshewantedtoknowallaboutherandhowshecouldhelpher。MissAndrews’sparentsarerichbutrespectable,Iunderstand,andshe’sanonlychild。Icameinforashareofherawe;shehadfoundoutthatIwasnotonlynotVerriantheactor,butanauthorofthesamename,andshehadreadmystorywithpassionateinterest,butapparentlyinthatunliterarywayofmanypeoplewithoutnoticingwhowroteit;sheseemedtohavethoughtitwasHardingDavisorHenryJames;shewasn’tclearwhich。Butitwasagooddealtohavehadherreaditatallinthathouse;Idon’tbelieveanybodyelsehad,exceptMissShirleyandMissMacroyd。\"
Mrs。Verriandeferredamatterthatwouldordinarilyhaveinterestedhersupremelytoanimmediatecuriosity。\"AndhowcameshetothinkyouwouldknowsomuchaboutMissShirley?\"
Verrianfrowned。\"IthinkfromMissMacroyd。MissMacroydseemstohavetakenagrandmotherlyconcerninmyaffairsthroughthewholeweek。
Perhapssheresentedhavingbehavedsopiggishlyatthestationthedaywecame,andmeanttotakeitoutofMissShirleyandmyself。Shehadseenustogetherinthewoods,oneday,andshemusthavetolditabout。
Mrs。Westanglewouldn’thavespokenofustogether,becausesheneverspeaksofanythingunlessitisgoingtocount;andtherewasnooneelsewhoknewofouracquaintance。\"
\"Why,myson,ifyouwentwalkinginthewoodswiththegirl,anyonemighthaveseenyou。\"
\"Ididn’t。Itwasquitebyaccidentthatwemetthere。MissShirleywasanxioustokeepherpresenceinthehouseasecretfromeverybody。\"
Mrs。Verrianwouldnottakeanybuttheopenway,withthis。Shewouldnotdealindirectly,withit,orinanywisecovertlyorsurreptitiously。
\"ItseemstomethatMissShirleyhasratherafondnessforsecrecy,\"shesaid。
\"Ithinkshehas,\"Verrianadmitted。\"Though,inthiscase,itwasessentialtothesuccessofherfinalscheme。Butsheisacuriousstudy。Isupposethattimidityisatthebottomofallfondnessforsecrecy,isn’tit?\"
\"Idon’tknow。Shedoesn’tseemtobetimidineverything。\"
\"Sayitout,mother!\"Verrianchallengedherwithasmile。\"You’renottimid,anyway!\"
\"Shehadthecouragetojoininthatletter,butnotthecouragetoownherpartinit。ShewasbraveenoughtoconfessthatshehadbeensickofanervousfeverfromtheansweryouwrotetotheBrowngirl,butshewouldn’thavebeenbraveenoughtoconfessanythingatallifshehadbelievedshewouldbephysicallyormorallystrongenoughtokeepit。\"
\"Perhapsnobody——nobodybutyou,mother——isbraveintherighttimeandplace。\"
Sheknewthatthiswasnotmeantinirony。\"Iamgladyousaythat,Philip。\"
\"It’sonlyyourdue。Butaren’tyoualittletooharduponcowards,attimes?Forthesortofpersonsheis,ifyouinferthesortfromtheworstappearanceshehasmadeinthewholebusiness,Ithinkshehasdoneprettywell。\"
\"WhyhadshelefttheBrowngirltotakeallyourresentmentaloneforthelastsixoreightmonths?\"
\"Shemayhavethoughtthatshewasgettinghershareofthepunishmentinthefevermyresentmentbroughton?\"
\"Philip,doyoureallybelievethatherfever,ifshehadone,camefromthat?\"
\"Ithinkshebelievesit,andthere’snodoubtbutshewasbadlyscared。\"
\"Oh,there’snodoubtofthat!\"
\"Butcome,mother,whyshouldwetakeherattheworst?Ofcourse,shehasacomplexnature。Iseethatasclearlyasyoudo。Idon’tbelievewelookatherdiversely,inthesmallestparticular。Butwhyshouldn’tacomplexnaturebecreditedwiththesameimpulsestowardsthetruthasasinglenature?Whyshouldn’tweallowthatMissShirleyhadthesamewishtosetherselfrightwithmeasMissAndrewswouldhavehadinherplace?\"
\"Idaresayshewishedtosetherselfrightwithyou,butnotfromthesamewishthatMissAndrewswouldhavehad。MissAndrewswouldnothavewishedyoutoknowthetruthforherownsake。Hermotivewouldhavebeendirect-straight。\"
\"Yes;andwewilldescribeherasastraightline,andMissShirleyasawavingline。Whyshouldn’tthewavingline,atitshighestpoints,touchthesamealtitudeasthestraightline?\"
\"Itwouldn’ttouchitallthetime,andincharacter,ornature,asyoucallit,thatisthegreatthing。It’satthelowestpointsthatthewavinglineisdangerous。\"
\"Well,Idon’tdenythat。ButI’manxioustobejusttoapersonwhohasn’texperiencedagreatdealofmercyforwhat,afterall,wasn’tsuchaveryheinousthingasIusedtothinkit。Youmustallowthatshewasn’tobligedtotellmeanythingaboutherself。\"
\"Yes,shewas,Philip。AsIsaidbefore,shehadn’tthephysicalormoralstrengthtokeepitfromyouwhenshewasbroughtfacetofacewithyou。Besides——\"Mrs。Verrianhesitated。
\"Outwithit,mother!We,atleast,won’thaveanyconcealments。\"
\"Shemayhavethought,shecouldclinchitinthatway。\"
\"Clinchwhat?\"
\"Youknow。Isshepretty?\"
\"She’s——interesting。\"
\"Thatcanalwaysbemanaged。Isshetall?\"
\"NO,Ithinkshe’sratheroutofstylethere;she’sratherpetite。\"
\"Andwhat’sherfacelike?\"
\"Well,shehasnoparticularcomplexion,butit’snotthick。Hereyesarethebestofher,thoughthereisn’tmuchofthem。They’rethe’watersonastarrynight’sort,verysweetandglimmering。Shehasakindofground-coloredhairandanicelittlechin。Hermouthhelpshereyesout;itlooksbestwhenshespeaks;it’spatheticintheplayofthelips。\"
\"Isee,\"Mrs。Verriansaid。
XX。
ThefollowingweekVerrianandhismotherwereatashowofpaintings,inthegalleryattherearofadealer’sshop,andwhiletheywerebendingtogethertolookatapictureheheardhimselfcalledtoinagirlishvoice,\"Oh,Mr。Verrian!\"asifhisbeingtherewasthegreatestwonderintheworld。
Hismotherandheliftedthemselvestoencounteratall,slimgirl,whowasstretchingherhandtowardshim,andwhonowcriedout,joyously,\"Oh,Mr。Verrian,Ithoughtitmustbeyou,butIwasafraiditwasn’tassoonasIspoke。Oh,I’msogladtoseeyou;Iwantsomuchtohaveyouknowmymother——Mr。Verrian,\"shesaid,presentinghim。
\"AndIyoumine,\"Verrianresponded,inaviolentellipse,andintroducedhisownmother,whotookinthefactofMissAndrews’stallthinness,toppedwithawide,whitehatandwavingwhiteplumes,andherlittleface,irregularandsomewhatgaunt,butwithacharminthelipsandeyeswhichtooktheelderwoman’sheartwithpathos。ShemadetalkwithMrs。
Andrews,whoaffectedoneashavingthematerialsofsocialseverityinhercostumeandmanner。
\"Oh,Ididn’tbelieveIshouldeverseeyouagain,\"thegirlbrokeoutimpulsivelyuponVerrian。\"Oh,IwantedtoaskyousoaboutMissShirley。Haveyouseenhersinceyougotback?\"
\"No,\"Verriansaid,\"Ihaven’tseenher。\"
\"Oh,Ithoughtperhapsyouhad。I’vebeentotheaddressthatMrs。
Westanglegaveme,butsheisn’tthereanymore;she’sgoneupintoHarlemsomewhere,andIhaven’tbeenabletocallagain。Oh,Idofeelsoanxiousabouther。Oh,Idohopesheisn’till。Doyouthinksheis?\"
\"Idon’tbelieveso,\"Verrianbegan。Butshesweptoverhisprostrateremark。
\"Oh,Mr。Verrian,don’tyouthinkshe’swonderful?I’vebeentellingmotheraboutit,andIdon’tfeelatallthewayshedoes。Doyou?\"
\"Howdoesshefeel?ImustknowthatbeforeIsay。\"
\"Why,ofcourse!Ihadn’ttoldyou!Shethinksitwasamake-upbetweenMissShirleyandthatMr。Bushwick。ButIsayitcouldn’thavebeen。Doyouthinkitcould?\"
Verrianfoundthesuggestionsodistasteful,forareasonwhichhedidnotquiteseizehimself,thatheanswered,resentfully,\"Itcouldhavebeen,butIdon’tthinkitwas。\"
\"Iwilltellherwhatyousay。Oh,mayItellherwhatyousay?\"
\"Idon’tseewhyyoushouldn’t。Itisn’tveryimportant,eitherway,isit?\"
\"Oh,don’tyouthinkso?Notifitinvolvedpretendingwhatwasn’ttrue?\"
Shebenttowardshiminsuchanxiousdemandthathecouldnothelpsmiling。
\"Thewholethingwasapretence,wasn’tit?\"hesuggested。
\"Yes,butthatwouldhavebeenapretencethatwedidn’tknowof。\"
\"Itwouldbeincriminatingtothatextent,certainly,\"Verrianowned,ironically。HefoundthequestionofMissShirley’sblameforthecollusionasdistastefulasthesuppositionofthecollusion,buttherewasafascinationintheinnocencebeforehim,andhecouldnothelpplayingwithit。
SometimesMissAndrewsapparentlyknewthathewasplayingwithherinnocence,andsometimesshedidnot。Butineithercasesheseemedtolikebeinghisjest,fromwhichshesnatchedafearfuljoy。Shewaswillingtoprolongtheexperience,andshedriftedwithhimfrompicturetopicture,andkeptthetalkrecurrentlytoMissShirleyandthephenomenaofSeeingGhosts。
HermotherandMrs。Verrianevidentlygotontogetherbetterthaneitherofthematfirstexpected。Whenitcametotheirparting,throughMrs。
Andrews’ssayingthatshemustbegoing,sheshookhandswithMrs。
VerrianandsaidtoPhilip,\"Iamsogladtohavemetyou,Mr。Verrian。
Willyoucomeandseeus?\"
\"Yes,thankyou,\"heanswered,takingthehandshenowofferedhim,andthentakingMissAndrews’shand,whilethegirl’seyesglowedwithpleasure。\"Ishallbeveryglad。\"
\"Oh,shallyou?\"shesaid,withhertransparentsincerity。\"Andyouwon’tforgetThursdays!Butanydayatfivewehavetea。\"
\"Thankyou,\"Verriansaid。ImightforgettheThursdays,butIcouldn’tforgetallthedaysoftheweek。\"
MissAndrewslaughedandblushedatonce。\"Thenweshallexpectyoueveryday。\"
\"Well,everydaybutThursday,\"hepromised。
WhenthemotheranddaughterhadgoneMrs。Verriansaid,\"Sheisagreatadmirerofyours,Philip。She’sreadyourstory,andIsuspectshewantsanopportunitytotalkwithyouaboutit。\"
\"YoumeanMrs。Andrews?\"
\"Yes。Isupposethedaughterhasn’twaitedforanopportunity。Themotherhadreadthatpublisher’sparagraphaboutyourinvalid,andwantedtoknowifyouhadeverheardfromheragain。Womenarepersonalintheirliteraryinterests。\"
Philipasked,indismay,\"Youdidn’tgiveitawaydidyou,mother?\"
\"Certainlynot,mydear。Youhavebroughtmeuptoocarefully。\"
\"Ofcourse。Ididn’timagineyouhad。\"
Then,astheycouldnotpretendtolookatthepicturesanylonger,theywentaway,too。TheirissueintotheopenairseemedfraughtwithnovelemotionforMrs。Verrian。\"Well,now,\"shesaid,\"IhaveseenthewomanIwouldbewillingmysonshouldmarry。\"
\"Child,youmean,\"Philipsaid,notpretendingthathedidnotknowshemeantMissAndrews。
\"Thatgirl,\"hismotherreturned,\"isinnocenceitself。Oh,Philip,dear,domarryher!\"
\"Well,Idon’tknow。Ifhermotherisbehavingassagelywithherasyouarewithmethechancesarethatshewon’tletme。Besides,Idon’tknowthatIwanttomarryquitesomuchinnocence。\"
\"Sheisconscienceincarnate,\"hismotheruttered,perfervidly。
\"Youcouldputyourverysoulinherkeeping。\"
\"Thenyouwouldbeoutofajob,mother。\"
\"Oh,Iamnotworthyofthejob,mydear。Ihavealwaysfeltthat。Iamtoocomplex,andsometimesIcan’tseetherightalone,asshecould。\"
Philipwassilentamomentwhilehelostthepersonalpointofview。
\"Isuspectwedon’tseetherightwhenweseeitalone。Weoughttoseethewrong,too。\"
\"Ah,Philip,don’tletyourfancygoafterthatgirl!\"
\"MissAndrews?Ithought——\"
\"Don’tyoubecomplex,mydear。YouknowImeanMissShirley。Whathasbecomeofher,Iwonder。IheardMissAndrewsaskingyou。\"
\"Iwasn’tabletotellher。Doyouwantmetotrytellingyou?\"
\"Iwouldratheryounevercould。\"
Philiplaughedsardonically。\"Now,IshallforgetThursdaysandalltheotherdays,too。Youareaveryunwiseparent,mother。\"
Theylaughedwitheachotherateachother,andtreatedherenthusiasmforMissAndrewsasthejokeitpartlywas。Mrs。Verriandidnotfollowhimupaboutheridol,andaweekorsolatershewasabletoaffectadecentsurprisewhenhecameinattheendofanafternoonanddeclinedthecupofteasheproposedonthegroundthathehadbeentakingacupofteawiththeAndrewses。\"Youhavereallybeenthere?\"
\"Didn’tyouexpectmetokeepmypromise?\"
\"ButIwasafraidIhadputastumbling-blockintheway。\"
\"Oh,IfoundIcouldturntheconsciousnessyoucreatedinmeintoliterarymaterial,andsoIwasrathereagertogo。Ihavegotapointformynewstoryoutofit。IshallhavemyfellowsufferallIdidn’tsufferinmeetingthegirlheknowshismotherwantshimtomarry。Igotonverywellwiththoseladies。Mrs。Andrewsisthemotherofinnocence,butsheisn’tinnocence。Shemanagedtotalkofmystorywithoutaskingaboutthepersonwhowantedtoanticipatetheconclusion。Thatwaswhatyoucallcomplex。Shewasinsincere;itwastheonlythingshewantedtotalkabout。\"
\"Idon’tbelieveit,Philip。ButwhatdidMissAndrewstalkabout?\"
\"Well,sheisratheranoptimisticconscience。Shetalkedaboutbooksandplaysthatsomepeopledonotthinkarequiteproper。Ihaveanotionthat,wherethepointinvolvedisn’tafactofherownexperience,sheisnotverysevereaboutit。Youthinkthatwouldbequitesafeforme?\"
\"Philip,Idon’tlikeyourmakingfunofher!\"
\"Oh,shewasn’tinsipid;shewasonlylimpid。Ireallylikeher,and,asforreverencingher,ofcourseIfeelthatinawaysheissacred。\"
Headded,afterabreath,\"Toosacred。WenoneofuscanexpecttomarryEvebeforetheFallnow;perhapswehavegotoverwantingto。\"
\"Youareveryperverse,mydear。Butyouwillgetoverthat。\"
\"Don’ttakeawaymylastdefence,mother。\"
VerrianbegantogoratherregularlytotheAndrewshouse,or,atleast,hewasaccusedofdoingitbyMissMacroydwhen,veryirregularly,hewentonedaytoseeher。\"Howdidyouknowit?\"heasked。
\"Ididn’tsayIknewit。Ionlywishedtoknowit。NowIamsatisfied。
ImetanotherfriendofyoursonSunday。\"Shepausedforhimtoaskwho;
buthedidnotask。\"Iseeyouaredyingtoknowwhatfriend:Mr。
Bushwick。\"
\"Oh,he’sagood-fellow。IwonderIdon’trunacrosshim。\"
\"Perhapsthat’sbecauseyounevercallonMissShirley。\"MissMacroydwaitedforthistotakeeffect,buthekeptaglacialsurfacetowardsher,andshewenton:
\"Theywerewalkingtogetherintheparkatnoon。Isupposetheyhadbeentochurchtogether。\"
Verrianmanifestednomorethanapoliteinterestinthefact。HemanagedsowellthatheconfirmedMissMacroydinatacitconjecture。
Shewenton:\"MissShirleywaslookingquitebloomingforher。Butsowashe,forthatmatter。Whydon’tyouaskiftheyinquiredforyou?\"
\"Ithoughtyouwouldtellmewithout。\"
\"Iwilltellyouifhedid。Hewasverycordialinhisinquiries;andI
hadtopretend,togratifyhim,thatyouwereverywell。IimpliedthatyoucamehereeveryTuesday,butyourThursdayswerededicatedtoMissAndrews。\"
\"Youareacleverwoman,MissMacroyd。Ishouldneverhavethoughtofsomuchtosayonsuchanuninterestingsubject。AndMissShirleyshowednocuriosity?\"
\"Ah,sheisacleverwoman,too。Sheshowedtheprettiestkindofcuriosity——soperfectlymanaged。Shehasastudio——Idon’tknowjusthowsheputsittouse——withapaintergirlinoneofthosestudioapartmenthousesontheWestSide:TheVeronese,Ibelieve。Youmustgoandseeher;I’llletyouhavenextTuesdayoff;Tuesday’sherday,too。\"
\"Youaregenerosityitself,MissMacroyd。\"
\"Yes,there’snothingmeanaboutme,\"shereturned,inslangratherolderthansheordinarilyused。\"Ifyou’renotherenextTuesdayIshallknowwhereyouare。\"
\"ThenImusttakeagoodmanyTuesdaysoff,unlessIwanttogivemyselfaway。\"
\"Oh,don’tdothat,Mr。Verrian!Please!OrelseIcan’tletyouhaveanyTuesdayoff。\"
XXI。
Uponthewhole,VerrianthoughthewouldgotoseeMissShirleythenextTuesday,buthedidnotsaysotoMissMacroyd。Nowthatheknewwherethegirlwas,allthepeculiarinterestshehadinspiredinhimreneweditself。ItwassovividthathecouldnotpayhisusualThursdaycallatMissAndrews’s,anditfilledhismindtotheexclusionofthenewstoryhehadbeguntowrite。Heloafedhismorningsawayathisclub,andhelunchedthere,leavinghismothertolunchalone,andwasdreamilypreoccupiedintheeveningswhichhespentathome,sittingathisdesk,withthepaperbeforehim,unabletocoaxthethoughtsfromhisbraintoitsalluringblank,butrestiveunderanyattemptsofherstotalkwithhim。
Inhisdesperationhewouldhavegonetothetheatre,butthefactthattheasswhorightfullycalledhimselfVerrianwasplayingatoneofthemblockedhisway,throughhisindignation,toallofthem。BySaturdayafternoonthetedioustimehadtobedonesomethingwith,andhedecidedtogoandseewhattheasswaslike。
Hewentearly,andfoundhimselfintheendseatofalongrowofmanyrowsofwomen,whowereprolongingthetimeofkeepingtheirhatsontillcustomobligedthemtotakethemoff。Hegavesomuchnoticetothewomannexthimastoseethatshewasdeeplyveiledaswellaswidelyhatted,andthenhelapsedintoadrearymuse,whichwasbrokenbythefirststrainsoftheoverture。Thenhedivertedhimselfbylookingroundatallthoseranksofwomenliftingtheirarmstotakeoutthemhat-pinsanddroppingthemtopintheirhatstotheseat-backsinfrontofthem,ortosecurethemsomehowintheirlaps。Uponthewhole,hethoughtthemanoeuvregracefulandpleasing;heimaginedaconsolationinitforthewomen,who,iftheywereforcedbypublicopiniontoputofftheircharminghats,wouldknowhowcharminglytheydidit。Eachturnedalittle,eitherherbodyorherhead,andlookedinanycaseoutofthecornerofhereyes;andhewasphrasingitallforasceneinhisstory,whenhelookedroundathisneighbortoseehowshehadmanaged,orwasmanaging,withherveil。Atthesamemomentshelookedathim,andtheireyesmet。
\"Mr。Verrian!\"
\"MissShirley!\"
Thestressoftheirvoicesfellupondifferentpartsofthesentencestheyuttered,butdidnotcommiteitherofthemtoaspecialrole。
\"Howverystrangeweshouldmeethere!\"shesaid,withpleasureinhervoice。\"Doyouknow,Ihavebeenwantingtocomeallwintertoseethisman,onaccountofhisname?AndtothinkthatIshouldmeettheotherMr。VerrianassoonasIyieldedtothetemptation。\"
\"Ihavejustyieldedmyself,\"Verriansaid。\"Ihopeyoudon’tfeelpunishedforyielding。\"
\"Oh,dear,no!Itseemsareward。\"
Shedidnotsaywhyitseemedso,andhesuggested,\"TheprivilegeofcomparingthehistrionicandtheliteraryVerrian?\"
\"Couldtherebeanycomparison?\"shecameback,gayly。
\"Idon’tknow。Ihaven’tseenthehistrionicVerrianyet。\"
Theywerelaughingwhenthecurtainrose,andthehistrionicVerrianhadhisinningsforalong,longfirstact。WhenthecurtainfellsheturnedtotheliteraryVerrianandsaid,\"Well?\"
\"Helastedagoodwhile,\"Verrianreturned。
\"Yes。Didn’the?\"Shelookedatthelittlewatchinherwristlet。
\"Awholehour!Doyouknow,Mr。Verrian,Iamgoingtoseemveryrude。
Iamgoingtoleaveyoutosettlethisquestionofsuperiority;Iknowyou’llbeimpartial。Ihaveanappointment——withthedressmaker,tobespecific——athalf-pastfour,andit’shalf-pastthreenow,andIcouldn’twellleaveinthemiddleofthenextact。SoIwillsaygood-byenow——\"
\"Don’t!\"heentreated。\"Icouldn’tbeartobeleftalonewiththisdreadfuldoubleofmine。Letmegooutwithyou。\"
\"CanIacceptsuchself-sacrifice?Well!\"
Shehadputonherhatandrisen,andhenowsteppedoutofhisplacetoletherpassandthenfollowedher。Atthestreetentrancehesuggested,\"Ahansom,orasimpletrolley?\"
\"Idon’tknow,\"shemurmured,meditatively,lookingupthestreetasifthatwouldsettleit。\"Ifit’sonlyhalf-pastthreenow,Ishouldhavetimetogethomemorenaturally。\"
\"Oh!Andwillyouletmewalkwithyou?\"
\"Why,ifyou’regoingthatway。\"
\"IwillsaywhenIknowwhichwayitis。\"
TheystartedontheirwalksoblithelythattheydidnotsaddenintheretrospectoftheirjointexperiencesatMrs。Westangle’s。BythetimetheyreachedtheparkgateatColumbusCircletheyhadcomesodistinctlytotheendoftheirretrospectthatshemadeanofferoflettinghimleaveher,averytacitoffer,butunmistakable,ifhechosetotakeit。
Heinterpretedherhesitationashechose。\"No,\"hesaid,\"itwon’tbeanylongerifwegoupthroughthepark。\"
Shedrewinherbreathsoftly,smoothingdownhermuffwithherrighthandwhileshekeptherleftinit。\"Anditwillcertainlybepleasanter。\"Whentheywerewellupthepath,inthatpartofitwhereitdeflectsfromthedrivewithoutapproachingthestreettooclosely,andachievessomethingofseclusion,shesaid:
\"Yourspeakingofhimjustnowmakesmewanttotellyousomething,Mr。
Verrian。Youwouldhearofitverysoon,anyway,andIfeelthatitisalwaysbesttobeveryfrankwithyou;butyou’llregarditasasecrettillitcomesout。\"
ThecurrentsthathadbeenplayingsowarmlyinandoutofVerrian’sheartturnedsuddenlycold。Hesaid,withjoylessmocking,\"Youknow,I’musedtokeepingyoursecrets。I——shallfeelhonored,I’msure,ifyoutrustmewithanother。\"
\"Yes,\"shereturned,pathetically,\"youhavealwaysbeenfaithful——eveninyourwounds。\"Itwastheirjointtributetothepainfulpast,andtheyhadpaidnoother。Shewaslookingawayfromhim,butheknewshewasawareofhishanginghishead。\"That’sallovernow,\"sheuttered,passionately。\"WhatIwantedtosay——totellyou——isthatIamengagedtoMr。Bushwick。\"
Hecouldhaveansweredthatshehadnoneedtotellhim。Thecoldcurrentsinandoutofhisheartstiffenedfrozenlyandceasedtoflow;
hisheartitselfstoodstillforaneternalinstant。Itwasinthisinstantthathesaid,\"Heisafinefellow。\"Afterwards,amidthewildboundingofhisrecoveredpulse,hecouldadd,\"Icongratulatehim;I
congratulateyouboth。\"
\"Thankyou,\"shesaid。\"NooneknowsasIdohowgoodheis——hasbeen,allthrough。\"ProbablyshehadnotmeanttoconveyanyreproachtoVerrianbyBushwick’spraise,buthefeltreproachinit。\"Itonlyhappenedlastweek。Youdowishmehappy,don’tyou?NooneknowswhatawinterIhavehadtillnow。Everythingseemingtofail——\"
Shechoked,anddidnotsaymore。Hesaid,aimlessly,\"Iamsorry——\"
\"Letmesitdownamoment,\"shebegged。Andshedroppeduponthebenchatwhichshefaltered,andrestedthere,asiffromtheexhaustionofrunning。Whenshecouldgetherbreathshebeganagain:\"ThereissomethingelseIwanttotellyou。\"
Shestopped。Andheasked,toprompther,\"Yes?\"
\"Thankyou,\"sheanswered,piteously。Andsheadded,withsuperficialinconsequence,\"Ishallalwaysthinkyouwereverycruel。\"
Hedidnotpretendnottoknowwhatshemeant,andhesaid,\"Ishallalwaysthinkso,too。Itriedtorevengemyselfforthehurtyourharmlesshoaxdidmyvanity。Ofcourse,ImadebelieveatthetimethatIwasdoinganactofjustice,butIneverwasabletobraveitoutafterwards。\"
\"Butyouwere——youweredoinganactofjustice。Ideservedwhatyousaid,butIdidn’tdeservewhathasfollowed。Imeantnoharm——itwasasillyprank,andIhavesufferedforitasifitwereacrime,andtheconsequencesarenotendedyet。Ishouldthinkthat,ifthereisamoralgovernmentoftheuniverse,theJudgeofalltheearthwouldknowwhentoholdhishand。Andnowtheworstofitistocomeyet。\"ShecaughtVerrian’sarm,asifforhelp。
\"Don’t——don’t!\"hebesoughther。\"Whatwillpeoplethink?\"
\"Yes,Yes!\"sheowned,releasinghimandwithdrawingtotheotherendoftheseat。
\"Butitalmostdrivesmewild。WhatshallIdo?Yououghttoknow。Itisyourfault。Youhavefrightenedmeoutofdaringtotellthetruth。\"
Hadhe,indeed,donethat?Verrianaskedhimself,anditseemedtohimthathehaddonesomethinglikeit。Ifitwasso,hemusthelpheroverherfearnow。Heanswered,bluntly,harshly:\"Youmusttellhimallaboutit——\"
\"Butifhewon’tbelieveme?Doyouthinkhewillbelieveme?Wouldyoubelieveme?\"
\"Youhavenothingtodowiththat。Thereisnothingforyoubuttotellhimthewholestory。Youmustn’tsharesuchasecretwithanyonebutyourhusband。Whenyoutellhimitwillceasetobemysecret。\"
\"Yes,yes。\"
\"Well,then,youmusttellhim,unless——\"
\"Yes,\"sheprompted。
Thentheywerebothsilent,lookingintenselyintoeachother’seyes。InthatmomentallelseoflifeseemedtomeltandswimawayfromVerrianandleavehimstrandeduponanawfuleminenceconfrontingher。
\"Hello,hello!\"agayvoicecalled,asifcallingtothemboth。\"Whatareyoutwoconspiring?\"Bushwick,assuddenlyasifhehadfallenfromtheskyorstartedupfromtheearth,stoodbeforethem,andgaveahandtoeach——hisrighttoVerrian,hislefttoMissShirley。\"Howareyou,Verrian?Howareyou,MissShirley?\"Hemockedherintheformalityofhisaddress。\"I’vebeenshadowingyoueversinceyoucameintothepark,butIthoughtIwouldn’tinterrupttillyouseemedtohavegotthroughyourconversation。MayIaskwhatitwasallabout?Itseemedveryabsorbing,fromarespectfuldistance。\"
\"Veryabsorbing,indeed,\"MissShirleysaid,makingroomforhimbetweenthem。\"Sitdownandletmetellyou。You’retobeapartnerinthesecret。\"
\"Silentpartner,\"Bushwicksuggested。
\"Ihopeyou’llalwaysbesilent,\"thegirlsharedinhisdrolling。
Shebeganandtoldthewholestorytothelastdetail,sparingneitherherselfnorVerrian,wholistenedasifheweresomeoneelsenotconcerned,andkeptsayingtohimself,\"whatcourage!\"Bushwicklistenedasmutely,withafacethat,toVerrian’seye,seemedtohardenfromitslightjocosityintoaseverityhehadnotseeninitbefore。\"Itwassomething,\"sheendedtowardsBushwick,withacatchinherbreath,\"thatyouhadtoknow。\"
\"Yes,\"heanswered,tonelessly。
\"Andnow——sheattemptedalittleforlornplayfulness——\"don’tyouthinkhegavemewhatIdeserved?\"
Bushwickroseupandtookherhandunderhisarm,keepinghislefthanduponhers。
\"He!Who?\"
\"Mr。Verrian。\"
\"Idon’tknowanyMr。Verrian。Come,you’lltakecoldhere。\"
HeturnedhisbackonVerrian,whofanciedatremorinherhat,asifshewouldlookroundathim;butthen,asifshedivinedBushwick’sintention,shedidnotlookround,andtogethertheylefthim。
ItwasdaysbeforeVerriancouldconfesshimselfofthefacttohismother,wholistenedwiththejusticeinstinctiveinher。Shestillhadnotspokenwhenheended,andhesaid,\"Ihavethoughtitallover,andI
feelthathedidright。Hedidtheonlythingthatamaninlovewithhercoulddo。AndIdon’twonderhe’sinlovewithher。Yes\"——hestayedhismother,imperatively——\"andsuchamanashe,thoughhegroundmeinthedirtandstampedonme,Iwillsay,it,isworthyofanywoman。Hecanbelieveinawoman,andthat’sthefirstthingthat’sneededtomakeawomanlikeher,true。Idon’tenvyhisjob。\"Hewasspeakingself-
contradictorily,irrelevantly,illogically,asamanthinks。Hewentoninthatway,gettinghimselfallout。\"Sheisn’tsingle-hearted,butshe’sfaithful。She’llneverbetrayhimnow。She’snevergivenhimanyreasontodistrusther。She’sthekindthatcankeeponstraightwithanyoneshe’sbegun。straightwith。Shetoldhimallthatbeforemebecauseshewantedmetoknow——torealize——thatshehadtoldhim。Ittookcourage。\"
Mrs。Verrianhadthoughtofgeneralizing,butsheseizedasinglepoint。
\"Perhapsnotsomuchcourageasyouthink。Youmustn’tletsuchbravadoimposeuponyou,Philip。I’venodoubtsheknewherground。\"
\"Shetookthechanceofhiscastingheroff。\"
\"Sheknewhewouldn’t。Sheknewhim,andsheknewyou。Sheknewthatifhecastheroff——\"
\"Mother!Don’tsayit!Ican’tbearit!\"
Hismotherdidnotsayit,oranythingmore,then。Lateatnightshecametohim。\"Areyouasleep,Philip?\"
\"Asleep?I!\"
\"Ididn’tsupposeyouwere。ButIhavehadanoteto-daywhichImustanswer。Mrs。AndrewshasaskedustodinneronSaturday。Philip,ifyoucouldseethatsweetgirlasIdo,inallhergoodnessandsincerity——\"
\"IthinkIdo,mother。AndIwouldn’tbeguiltyofherunhappinessfortheworld。Youmustdecline。\"
Well,perhapsyouareright。\"Mrs。Verrianwentaway,softly,sighing。
AsshesealedherreplytoMrs。Andrews,shesighedagain,andmadethereflectionwhichamotherseldommakeswithregardtoherson,beforehismarriage,thatmendonotlovewomenfortheirgoodness。