第2章

ExeuntSCENEV。TheForest。EnterAMIENS,JAQUES,andothersSONG。AMIENSUnderthegreenwoodtreeWholovestoliewithme,AndturnhismerrynoteUntothesweetbird’sthroat,Comehither,comehither,comehither:

HereshallheseeNoenemyButwinterandroughweather。JAQUESMore,more,Iprithee,more。AMIENSItwillmakeyoumelancholy,MonsieurJaques。JAQUESIthankit。More,Iprithee,more。Icansuckmelancholyoutofasong,asaweaselsuckseggs。

More,Iprithee,more。AMIENSMyvoiceisragged:IknowIcannotpleaseyou。JAQUESIdonotdesireyoutopleaseme;Idodesireyoutosing。Come,more;anotherstanzo:callyou’emstanzos?AMIENSWhatyouwill,MonsieurJaques。JAQUESNay,Icarenotfortheirnames;theyowemenothing。Willyousing?AMIENSMoreatyourrequestthantopleasemyself。JAQUESWellthen,ifeverIthankanyman,I’llthankyou;

butthattheycallcomplimentisliketheencounteroftwodog-apes,andwhenamanthanksmeheartily,methinksIhavegivenhimapennyandherendersmethebeggarlythanks。Come,sing;andyouthatwillnot,holdyourtongues。AMIENSWell,I’llendthesong。Sirs,coverthewhile;thedukewilldrinkunderthistree。Hehathbeenallthisdaytolookyou。JAQUESAndIhavebeenallthisdaytoavoidhim。Heistoodisputableformycompany:Ithinkofasmanymattersashe,butIgiveheaventhanksandmakenoboastofthem。Come,warble,come。

SONG。

WhodothambitionshunAlltogetherhereAndlovestolivei’thesun,SeekingthefoodheeatsAndpleasedwithwhathegets,Comehither,comehither,comehither:

HereshallheseeNoenemyButwinterandroughweather。JAQUESI’llgiveyouaversetothisnotethatImadeyesterdayindespiteofmyinvention。AMIENSAndI’llsingit。JAQUESThusitgoes:——

IfitdocometopassThatanymanturnass,Leavinghiswealthandease,Astubbornwilltoplease,Ducdame,ducdame,ducdame:

HereshallheseeGrossfoolsashe,Anifhewillcometome。AMIENSWhat’sthat’ducdame’?JAQUES’TisaGreekinvocation,tocallfoolsintoacircle。I’llgosleep,ifIcan;ifIcannot,I’llrailagainstallthefirst-bornofEgypt。AMIENSAndI’llgoseektheduke:hisbanquetisprepared。

ExeuntseverallySCENEVI。Theforest。EnterORLANDOandADAMADAMDearmaster,Icangonofurther。O,I

dieforfood!

HerelieIdown,andmeasureoutmygrave。Farewell,kindmaster。ORLANDOWhy,hownow,Adam!nogreaterheartinthee?Livealittle;comfortalittle;cheerthyselfalittle。

Ifthisuncouthforestyieldanythingsavage,I

willeitherbefoodforitorbringitforfoodtothee。Thyconceitisnearerdeaththanthypowers。

Formysakebecomfortable;holddeathawhileatthearm’send:Iwillherebewiththeepresently;

andifIbringtheenotsomethingtoeat,Iwillgivetheeleavetodie:butifthoudiestbeforeI

come,thouartamockerofmylabour。Wellsaid!

thoulookestcheerly,andI’llbewiththeequickly。

Yetthouliestinthebleakair:come,Iwillbeartheetosomeshelter;andthoushaltnotdieforlackofadinner,ifthereliveanythinginthisdesert。Cheerly,goodAdam!

ExeuntSCENEVII。Theforest。Atablesetout。EnterDUKESENIOR,AMIENS,andLordslikeoutlawsDUKESENIORIthinkhebetransform’dintoabeast;

ForIcannowherefindhimlikeaman。FirstLordMylord,heisbutevennowgonehence:

Herewashemerry,hearingofasong。DUKESENIORIfhe,compactofjars,growmusical,Weshallhaveshortlydiscordinthespheres。

Go,seekhim:tellhimIwouldspeakwithhim。

EnterJAQUESFirstLordHesavesmylabourbyhisownapproach。DUKESENIORWhy,hownow,monsieur!whatalifeisthis,Thatyourpoorfriendsmustwooyourcompany?

What,youlookmerrily!JAQUESAfool,afool!Imetafooli’theforest,Amotleyfool;amiserableworld!

AsIdolivebyfood,ImetafoolWholaidhimdownandbask’dhiminthesun,Andrail’donLadyFortuneingoodterms,Ingoodsettermsandyetamotleyfool。

’Goodmorrow,fool,’quothI。’No,sir,’quothhe,’Callmenotfooltillheavenhathsentmefortune:’

Andthenhedrewadialfromhispoke,And,lookingonitwithlack-lustreeye,Saysverywisely,’Itisteno’clock:

Thuswemaysee,’quothhe,’howtheworldwags:

’Tisbutanhouragosinceitwasnine,Andafteronehourmore’twillbeeleven;

Andso,fromhourtohour,weripeandripe,Andthen,fromhourtohour,werotandrot;

Andtherebyhangsatale。’WhenIdidhearThemotleyfoolthusmoralonthetime,Mylungsbegantocrowlikechanticleer,Thatfoolsshouldbesodeep-contemplative,AndIdidlaughsansintermissionAnhourbyhisdial。Onoblefool!

Aworthyfool!Motley’stheonlywear。DUKESENIORWhatfoolisthis?JAQUESOworthyfool!Onethathathbeenacourtier,Andsays,ifladiesbebutyoungandfair,Theyhavethegifttoknowit:andinhisbrain,WhichisasdryastheremainderbiscuitAfteravoyage,hehathstrangeplacescramm’dWithobservation,thewhichheventsInmangledforms。OthatIwereafool!

Iamambitiousforamotleycoat。DUKESENIORThoushalthaveone。JAQUESItismyonlysuit;

ProvidedthatyouweedyourbetterjudgmentsOfallopinionthatgrowsrankinthemThatIamwise。ImusthavelibertyWithal,aslargeacharterasthewind,ToblowonwhomIplease;forsofoolshave;

Andtheythataremostgalledwithmyfolly,Theymostmustlaugh。Andwhy,sir,musttheyso?

The’why’isplainaswaytoparishchurch:

HethatafooldothverywiselyhitDothveryfoolishly,althoughhesmart,Nottoseemsenselessofthebob:ifnot,Thewiseman’sfollyisanatomizedEvenbythesquanderingglancesofthefool。

Investmeinmymotley;givemeleaveTospeakmymind,andIwillthroughandthroughCleansethefoulbodyoftheinfectedworld,Iftheywillpatientlyreceivemymedicine。DUKESENIORFieonthee!Icantellwhatthouwouldstdo。JAQUESWhat,foracounter,wouldIdobutgood?DUKESENIORMostmischievousfoulsin,inchidingsin:

Forthouthyselfhastbeenalibertine,Assensualasthebrutishstingitself;

Andalltheembossedsoresandheadedevils,Thatthouwithlicenceoffreefoothastcaught,Wouldstthoudisgorgeintothegeneralworld。JAQUESWhy,whocriesoutonpride,Thatcanthereintaxanyprivateparty?

Dothitnotflowashugelyasthesea,Tillthatthewearyverymeansdoebb?

WhatwomaninthecitydoIname,WhenthatIsaythecity-womanbearsThecostofprincesonunworthyshoulders?

WhocancomeinandsaythatImeanher,Whensuchaoneasshesuchisherneighbour?

OrwhatisheofbasestfunctionThatsayshisbraveryisnotofmycost,ThinkingthatImeanhim,butthereinsuitsHisfollytothemettleofmyspeech?

Therethen;howthen?whatthen?LetmeseewhereinMytonguehathwrong’dhim:ifitdohimright,Thenhehathwrong’dhimself;ifhebefree,Whythenmytaxinglikeawild-gooseflies,Unclaim’dofanyman。Butwhocomeshere?

EnterORLANDO,withhissworddrawnORLANDOForbear,andeatnomore。JAQUESWhy,Ihaveeatnoneyet。ORLANDONorshaltnot,tillnecessitybeserved。JAQUESOfwhatkindshouldthiscockcomeof?DUKESENIORArtthouthusbolden’d,man,bythydistress,Orelsearudedespiserofgoodmanners,Thatincivilitythouseem’stsoempty?ORLANDOYoutouch’dmyveinatfirst:thethornypointOfbaredistresshathta’enfrommetheshowOfsmoothcivility:yetamIinlandbredAndknowsomenurture。Butforbear,Isay:

HediesthattouchesanyofthisfruitTillIandmyaffairsareanswered。JAQUESAnyouwillnotbeansweredwithreason,Imustdie。DUKESENIORWhatwouldyouhave?YourgentlenessshallforceMorethanyourforcemoveustogentleness。ORLANDOIalmostdieforfood;andletmehaveit。DUKESENIORSitdownandfeed,andwelcometoourtable。ORLANDOSpeakyousogently?Pardonme,Iprayyou:

Ithoughtthatallthingshadbeensavagehere;

AndthereforeputIonthecountenanceOfsterncommandment。Butwhate’eryouareThatinthisdesertinaccessible,Undertheshadeofmelancholyboughs,LoseandneglectthecreepinghoursoftimeIfeveryouhavelook’donbetterdays,Ifeverbeenwherebellshaveknoll’dtochurch,Ifeversatatanygoodman’sfeast,IfeverfromyoureyelidswipedatearAndknowwhat’tistopityandbepitied,Letgentlenessmystrongenforcementbe:

InthewhichhopeIblush,andhidemysword。DUKESENIORTrueisitthatwehaveseenbetterdays,Andhavewithholybellbeenknoll’dtochurchAndsatatgoodmen’sfeastsandwipedoureyesOfdropsthatsacredpityhathengender’d:

AndthereforesityoudowningentlenessAndtakeuponcommandwhathelpwehaveThattoyourwantingmaybeminister’d。ORLANDOThenbutforbearyourfoodalittlewhile,Whiles,likeadoe,IgotofindmyfawnAndgiveitfood。Thereisanoldpoorman,WhoaftermehathmanyawearystepLimp’dinpurelove:tillhebefirstsufficed,Oppress’dwithtwoweakevils,ageandhunger,Iwillnottouchabit。DUKESENIORGofindhimout,Andwewillnothingwastetillyoureturn。ORLANDOIthankye;andbeblestforyourgoodcomfort!

ExitDUKESENIORThouseestwearenotallaloneunhappy:

ThiswideanduniversaltheatrePresentsmorewoefulpageantsthanthesceneWhereinweplayin。JAQUESAlltheworld’sastage,Andallthemenandwomenmerelyplayers:

Theyhavetheirexitsandtheirentrances;

Andonemaninhistimeplaysmanyparts,Hisactsbeingsevenages。Atfirsttheinfant,Mewlingandpukinginthenurse’sarms。

Andthenthewhiningschool-boy,withhissatchelAndshiningmorningface,creepinglikesnailUnwillinglytoschool。Andthenthelover,Sighinglikefurnace,withawoefulballadMadetohismistress’eyebrow。Thenasoldier,Fullofstrangeoathsandbeardedlikethepard,Jealousinhonour,suddenandquickinquarrel,SeekingthebubblereputationEveninthecannon’smouth。Andthenthejustice,Infairroundbellywithgoodcaponlined,Witheyessevereandbeardofformalcut,Fullofwisesawsandmoderninstances;

Andsoheplayshispart。ThesixthageshiftsIntotheleanandslipper’dpantaloon,Withspectaclesonnoseandpouchonside,Hisyouthfulhose,wellsaved,aworldtoowideForhisshrunkshank;andhisbigmanlyvoice,Turningagaintowardchildishtreble,pipesAndwhistlesinhissound。Lastsceneofall,Thatendsthisstrangeeventfulhistory,Issecondchildishnessandmereoblivion,Sansteeth,sanseyes,sanstaste,sanseverything。

Re-enterORLANDO,withADAMDUKESENIORWelcome。Setdownyourvenerableburthen,Andlethimfeed。ORLANDOIthankyoumostforhim。ADAMSohadyouneed:

Iscarcecanspeaktothankyouformyself。DUKESENIORWelcome;fallto:IwillnottroubleyouAsyet,toquestionyouaboutyourfortunes。

Giveussomemusic;and,goodcousin,sing。

SONG。AMIENSBlow,blow,thouwinterwind。

ThouartnotsounkindAsman’singratitude;

Thytoothisnotsokeen,Becausethouartnotseen,Althoughthybreathberude。

Heigh-ho!sing,heigh-ho!untothegreenholly:

Mostfriendshipisfeigning,mostlovingmerefolly:

Then,heigh-ho,theholly!

Thislifeismostjolly。

Freeze,freeze,thoubittersky,ThatdostnotbitesonighAsbenefitsforgot:

Thoughthouthewaterswarp,ThystingisnotsosharpAsfriendremember’dnot。

Heigh-ho!sing,&;c。DUKESENIORIfthatyouwerethegoodSirRowland’sson,Asyouhavewhisper’dfaithfullyyouwere,AndasmineeyedothhiseffigieswitnessMosttrulylimn’dandlivinginyourface,Betrulywelcomehither:IamthedukeThatlovedyourfather:theresidueofyourfortune,Gotomycaveandtellme。Goodoldman,Thouartrightwelcomeasthymasteris。

Supporthimbythearm。Givemeyourhand,Andletmeallyourfortunesunderstand。

ExeuntACTIIISCENEI。Aroominthepalace。EnterDUKEFREDERICK,Lords,andOLIVERDUKEFREDERICKNotseehimsince?Sir,sir,thatcannotbe:

ButwereInotthebetterpartmademercy,IshouldnotseekanabsentargumentOfmyrevenge,thoupresent。Butlooktoit:

Findoutthybrother,wheresoe’erheis;

Seekhimwithcandle;bringhimdeadorlivingWithinthistwelvemonth,orturnthounomoreToseekalivinginourterritory。

ThylandsandallthingsthatthoudostcallthineWorthseizuredoweseizeintoourhands,TillthoucanstquittheebythybrothersmouthOfwhatwethinkagainstthee。OLIVEROthatyourhighnessknewmyheartinthis!

Ineverlovedmybrotherinmylife。DUKEFREDERICKMorevillainthou。Well,pushhimoutofdoors;

AndletmyofficersofsuchanatureMakeanextentuponhishouseandlands:

Dothisexpedientlyandturnhimgoing。

ExeuntSCENEII。Theforest。EnterORLANDO,withapaperORLANDOHangthere,myverse,inwitnessofmylove:

Andthou,thrice-crownedqueenofnight,surveyWiththychasteeye,fromthypalesphereabove,Thyhuntress’namethatmyfulllifedothsway。

ORosalind!thesetreesshallbemybooksAndintheirbarksmythoughtsI’llcharacter;

ThateveryeyewhichinthisforestlooksShallseethyvirtuewitness’deverywhere。

Run,run,Orlando;carveoneverytreeThefair,thechasteandunexpressiveshe。

ExitEnterCORINandTOUCHSTONECORINAndhowlikeyouthisshepherd’slife,MasterTouchstone?TOUCHSTONETruly,shepherd,inrespectofitself,itisagoodlife,butinrespectthatitisashepherd’slife,itisnaught。Inrespectthatitissolitary,I

likeitverywell;butinrespectthatitisprivate,itisaveryvilelife。Now,inrespectitisinthefields,itpleasethmewell;butinrespectitisnotinthecourt,itistedious。

Asisitasparelife,lookyou,itfitsmyhumourwell;

butasthereisnomoreplentyinit,itgoesmuchagainstmystomach。Hastanyphilosophyinthee,shepherd?CORINNomorebutthatIknowthemoreonesickenstheworseateaseheis;andthathethatwantsmoney,meansandcontentiswithoutthreegoodfriends;

thatthepropertyofrainistowetandfiretoburn;thatgoodpasturemakesfatsheep,andthatagreatcauseofthenightislackofthesun;thathethathathlearnednowitbynaturenorartmaycomplainofgoodbreedingorcomesofaverydullkindred。TOUCHSTONESuchaoneisanaturalphilosopher。Wasteverincourt,shepherd?CORINNo,truly。TOUCHSTONEThenthouartdamned。CORINNay,Ihope。TOUCHSTONETruly,thouartdamnedlikeanill-roastedegg,allononeside。CORINFornotbeingatcourt?Yourreason。TOUCHSTONEWhy,ifthouneverwastatcourt,thouneversawestgoodmanners;ifthouneversawestgoodmanners,thenthymannersmustbewicked;andwickednessissin,andsinisdamnation。Thouartinaparlousstate,shepherd。CORINNotawhit,Touchstone:thosethataregoodmannersatthecourtareasridiculousinthecountryasthebehaviorofthecountryismostmockableatthecourt。Youtoldmeyousalutenotatthecourt,butyoukissyourhands:thatcourtesywouldbeuncleanly,ifcourtierswereshepherds。TOUCHSTONEInstance,briefly;come,instance。CORINWhy,wearestillhandlingourewes,andtheirfells,youknow,aregreasy。TOUCHSTONEWhy,donotyourcourtier’shandssweat?

andisnotthegreaseofamuttonaswholesomeasthesweatofaman?Shallow,shallow。Abetterinstance,I

say;come。CORINBesides,ourhandsarehard。TOUCHSTONEYourlipswillfeelthemthesooner。Shallowagain。

Amoresounderinstance,come。CORINAndtheyareoftentarredoverwiththesurgeryofoursheep:andwouldyouhaveuskisstar?Thecourtier’shandsareperfumedwithcivet。TOUCHSTONEMostshallowman!thouworms-meat,inrespectofagoodpieceoffleshindeed!Learnofthewise,andperpend:civetisofabaserbirththantar,theveryuncleanlyfluxofacat。Mendtheinstance,shepherd。CORINYouhavetoocourtlyawitforme:I’llrest。TOUCHSTONEWiltthourestdamned?Godhelpthee,shallowman!

Godmakeincisioninthee!thouartraw。CORINSir,Iamatruelabourer:IearnthatIeat,getthatIwear,owenomanhate,envynoman’shappiness,gladofothermen’sgood,contentwithmyharm,andthegreatestofmyprideistoseemyewesgrazeandmylambssuck。TOUCHSTONEThatisanothersimplesininyou,tobringtheewesandtheramstogetherandtooffertogetyourlivingbythecopulationofcattle;tobebawdtoabell-wether,andtobetrayashe-lambofatwelvemonthtoacrooked-pated,old,cuckoldlyram,outofallreasonablematch。Ifthoubeestnotdamnedforthis,thedevilhimselfwillhavenoshepherds;Icannotseeelsehowthoushouldst’scape。CORINHerecomesyoungMasterGanymede,mynewmistress’sbrother。

EnterROSALIND,withapaper,readingROSALINDFromtheeasttowesternInd,NojewelislikeRosalind。

Herworth,beingmountedonthewind,ThroughalltheworldbearsRosalind。

AllthepicturesfairestlinedArebutblacktoRosalind。

LetnofairbekeptinmindButthefairofRosalind。TOUCHSTONEI’llrhymeyousoeightyearstogether,dinnersandsuppersandsleeping-hoursexcepted:itistherightbutter-women’sranktomarket。ROSALINDOut,fool!TOUCHSTONEForataste:

Ifahartdolackahind,LethimseekoutRosalind。

Ifthecatwillafterkind,SobesurewillRosalind。

Wintergarmentsmustbelined,SomustslenderRosalind。

Theythatreapmustsheafandbind;

ThentocartwithRosalind。

Sweetestnuthathsourestrind,SuchanutisRosalind。

HethatsweetestrosewillfindMustfindlove’sprickandRosalind。

Thisistheveryfalsegallopofverses:whydoyouinfectyourselfwiththem?ROSALINDPeace,youdullfool!Ifoundthemonatree。TOUCHSTONETruly,thetreeyieldsbadfruit。ROSALINDI’llgraffitwithyou,andthenIshallgraffitwithamedlar:thenitwillbetheearliestfruiti’thecountry;foryou’llberottenereyoubehalfripe,andthat’stherightvirtueofthemedlar。TOUCHSTONEYouhavesaid;butwhetherwiselyorno,lettheforestjudge。

EnterCELIA,withawritingROSALINDPeace!Herecomesmysister,reading:

standaside。CELIA[Reads]

Whyshouldthisadesertbe?

Foritisunpeopled?No:

TonguesI’llhangoneverytree,Thatshallcivilsayingsshow:

Some,howbriefthelifeofmanRunshiserringpilgrimage,ThatthestretchingofaspanBucklesinhissumofage;

Some,ofviolatedvows’Twixtthesoulsoffriendandfriend:

Butuponthefairestboughs,Orateverysentenceend,WillIRosalindawrite,TeachingallthatreadtoknowThequintessenceofeveryspriteHeavenwouldinlittleshow。

ThereforeHeavenNaturechargedThatonebodyshouldbefill’dWithallgraceswide-enlarged:

Naturepresentlydistill’dHelen’scheek,butnotherheart,Cleopatra’smajesty,Atalanta’sbetterpart,SadLucretia’smodesty。

ThusRosalindofmanypartsByheavenlysynodwasdevised,Ofmanyfaces,eyesandhearts,Tohavethetouchesdearestprized。

Heavenwouldthatshethesegiftsshouldhave,AndItoliveanddieherslave。ROSALINDOmostgentlepulpiter!whattedioushomilyoflovehaveyouweariedyourparishionerswithal,andnevercried’Havepatience,goodpeople!’CELIAHownow!back,friends!Shepherd,gooffalittle。

Gowithhim,sirrah。TOUCHSTONECome,shepherd,letusmakeanhonourableretreat;

thoughnotwithbagandbaggage,yetwithscripandscrippage。

ExeuntCORINandTOUCHSTONECELIADidstthouheartheseverses?ROSALINDO,yes,Iheardthemall,andmoretoo;

forsomeofthemhadinthemmorefeetthantheverseswouldbear。CELIAThat’snomatter:thefeetmightbeartheverses。ROSALINDAy,butthefeetwerelameandcouldnotbearthemselveswithouttheverseandthereforestoodlamelyintheverse。CELIAButdidstthouhearwithoutwonderinghowthynameshouldbehangedandcarveduponthesetrees?ROSALINDIwassevenoftheninedaysoutofthewonderbeforeyoucame;forlookherewhatIfoundonapalm-tree。Iwasneversobe-rhymedsincePythagoras’time,thatIwasanIrishrat,whichI

canhardlyremember。CELIATrowyouwhohathdonethis?ROSALINDIsitaman?CELIAAndachain,thatyouoncewore,abouthisneck。

Changeyoucolour?ROSALINDIprithee,who?CELIAOLord,Lord!itisahardmatterforfriendstomeet;butmountainsmayberemovedwithearthquakesandsoencounter。ROSALINDNay,butwhoisit?CELIAIsitpossible?ROSALINDNay,Ipritheenowwithmostpetitionaryvehemence,tellmewhoitis。CELIAOwonderful,wonderful,andmostwonderfulwonderful!andyetagainwonderful,andafterthat,outofallhooping!ROSALINDGoodmycomplexion!dostthouthink,thoughIamcaparisonedlikeaman,Ihaveadoubletandhoseinmydisposition?OneinchofdelaymoreisaSouth-seaofdiscovery;Iprithee,tellmewhoisitquickly,andspeakapace。Iwouldthoucouldststammer,thatthoumightstpourthisconcealedmanoutofthymouth,aswinecomesoutofanarrow-

mouthedbottle,eithertoomuchatonce,ornoneatall。Iprithee,takethecorkoutofthymouththatmaydrinkthytidings。CELIASoyoumayputamaninyourbelly。ROSALINDIsheofGod’smaking?Whatmannerofman?Ishisheadworthahat,orhischinworthabeard?CELIANay,hehathbutalittlebeard。ROSALINDWhy,Godwillsendmore,ifthemanwillbethankful:letmestaythegrowthofhisbeard,ifthoudelaymenottheknowledgeofhischin。CELIAItisyoungOrlando,thattrippedupthewrestler’sheelsandyourheartbothinaninstant。ROSALINDNay,butthedeviltakemocking:speak,sadbrowandtruemaid。CELIAI’faith,coz,’tishe。ROSALINDOrlando?CELIAOrlando。ROSALINDAlastheday!whatshallIdowithmydoubletandhose?Whatdidhewhenthousawesthim?Whatsaidhe?Howlookedhe?Whereinwenthe?Whatmakeshimhere?Didheaskforme?Whereremainshe?

Howpartedhewiththee?andwhenshaltthouseehimagain?Answermeinoneword。CELIAYoumustborrowmeGargantua’smouthfirst:’tisawordtoogreatforanymouthofthisage’ssize。

Tosayayandnototheseparticularsismorethantoanswerinacatechism。ROSALINDButdothheknowthatIaminthisforestandinman’sapparel?Looksheasfreshlyashedidthedayhewrestled?CELIAItisaseasytocountatomiesastoresolvethepropositionsofalover;buttakeatasteofmyfindinghim,andrelishitwithgoodobservance。

Ifoundhimunderatree,likeadroppedacorn。ROSALINDItmaywellbecalledJove’stree,whenitdropsforthsuchfruit。CELIAGivemeaudience,goodmadam。ROSALINDProceed。CELIATherelayhe,stretchedalong,likeawoundedknight。ROSALINDThoughitbepitytoseesuchasight,itwellbecomestheground。CELIACry’holla’tothytongue,Iprithee;

itcurvetsunseasonably。Hewasfurnishedlikeahunter。ROSALINDO,ominous!hecomestokillmyheart。CELIAIwouldsingmysongwithoutaburden:

thoubringestmeoutoftune。ROSALINDDoyounotknowIamawoman?whenI

think,Imustspeak。Sweet,sayon。CELIAYoubringmeout。Soft!comeshenothere?

EnterORLANDOandJAQUESROSALIND’Tishe:slinkby,andnotehim。JAQUESIthankyouforyourcompany;but,goodfaith,Ihadasliefhavebeenmyselfalone。ORLANDOAndsohadI;butyet,forfashionsake,Ithankyoutooforyoursociety。JAQUESGodbewi’you:let’smeetaslittleaswecan。ORLANDOIdodesirewemaybebetterstrangers。JAQUESIprayyou,marnomoretreeswithwritinglove-songsintheirbarks。ORLANDOIprayyou,marnomoreofmyverseswithreadingthemill-favouredly。JAQUESRosalindisyourlove’sname?ORLANDOYes,just。JAQUESIdonotlikehername。ORLANDOTherewasnothoughtofpleasingyouwhenshewaschristened。JAQUESWhatstatureissheof?ORLANDOJustashighasmyheart。JAQUESYouarefullofprettyanswers。Haveyounotbeenacquaintedwithgoldsmiths’wives,andconnedthemoutofrings?ORLANDONotso;butIansweryourightpaintedcloth,fromwhenceyouhavestudiedyourquestions。JAQUESYouhaveanimblewit:Ithink’twasmadeofAtalanta’sheels。Willyousitdownwithme?

andwetwowillrailagainstourmistresstheworldandallourmisery。ORLANDOIwillchidenobreatherintheworldbutmyself,againstwhomIknowmostfaults。JAQUESTheworstfaultyouhaveistobeinlove。ORLANDO’TisafaultIwillnotchangeforyourbestvirtue。

Iamwearyofyou。JAQUESBymytroth,IwasseekingforafoolwhenIfoundyou。ORLANDOHeisdrownedinthebrook:lookbutin,andyoushallseehim。JAQUESThereIshallseemineownfigure。ORLANDOWhichItaketobeeitherafooloracipher。JAQUESI’lltarrynolongerwithyou:farewell,goodSigniorLove。ORLANDOIamgladofyourdeparture:adieu,goodMonsieurMelancholy。

ExitJAQUESROSALIND[AsidetoCELIA]Iwillspeaktohim,likeasaucylackeyandunderthathabitplaytheknavewithhim。

Doyouhear,forester?ORLANDOVerywell:whatwouldyou?ROSALINDIprayyou,whatis’to’clock?ORLANDOYoushouldaskmewhattimeo’day:there’snoclockintheforest。ROSALINDThenthereisnotrueloverintheforest;

elsesighingeveryminuteandgroaningeveryhourwoulddetectthelazyfootofTimeaswellasaclock。ORLANDOAndwhynottheswiftfootofTime?hadnotthatbeenasproper?ROSALINDBynomeans,sir:Timetravelsindiverspaceswithdiverspersons。I’lltellyouwhoTimeambleswithal,whoTimetrotswithal,whoTimegallopswithalandwhohestandsstillwithal。ORLANDOIprithee,whodothhetrotwithal?ROSALINDMarry,hetrotshardwithayoungmaidbetweenthecontractofhermarriageandthedayitissolemnized:iftheinterimbebutase’nnight,Time’spaceissohardthatitseemsthelengthofsevenyear。ORLANDOWhoamblesTimewithal?ROSALINDWithapriestthatlacksLatinandarichmanthathathnotthegout,fortheonesleepseasilybecausehecannotstudy,andtheotherlivesmerrilybecausehefeelsnopain,theonelackingtheburdenofleanandwastefullearning,theotherknowingnoburdenofheavytediouspenury;theseTimeambleswithal。ORLANDOWhodothhegallopwithal?ROSALINDWithathieftothegallows,forthoughhegoassoftlyasfootcanfall,hethinkshimselftoosoonthere。ORLANDOWhostaysitstillwithal?ROSALINDWithlawyersinthevacation,fortheysleepbetweentermandtermandthentheyperceivenothowTimemoves。ORLANDOWheredwellyou,prettyyouth?ROSALINDWiththisshepherdess,mysister;hereintheskirtsoftheforest,likefringeuponapetticoat。ORLANDOAreyounativeofthisplace?ROSALINDAstheconythatyouseedwellwheresheiskindled。ORLANDOYouraccentissomethingfinerthanyoucouldpurchaseinsoremovedadwelling。ROSALINDIhavebeentoldsoofmany:butindeedanoldreligiousuncleofminetaughtmetospeak,whowasinhisyouthaninlandman;onethatknewcourtshiptoowell,fortherehefellinlove。Ihaveheardhimreadmanylecturesagainstit,andIthankGodIamnotawoman,tobetouchedwithsomanygiddyoffencesashehathgenerallytaxedtheirwholesexwithal。ORLANDOCanyourememberanyoftheprincipalevilsthathelaidtothechargeofwomen?ROSALINDTherewerenoneprincipal;theywerealllikeoneanotherashalf-penceare,everyonefaultseemingmonstroustillhisfellowfaultcametomatchit。ORLANDOIprithee,recountsomeofthem。ROSALINDNo,Iwillnotcastawaymyphysicbutonthosethataresick。Thereisamanhauntstheforest,thatabusesouryoungplantswithcarving’Rosalind’

ontheirbarks;hangsodesuponhawthornsandelegiesonbrambles,all,forsooth,deifyingthenameofRosalind:ifIcouldmeetthatfancy-mongerI

wouldgivehimsomegoodcounsel,forheseemstohavethequotidianofloveuponhim。ORLANDOIamhethatissolove-shaked:Iprayyoutellmeyourremedy。ROSALINDThereisnoneofmyuncle’smarksuponyou:hetaughtmehowtoknowamaninlove;inwhichcageofrushesIamsureyouarenotprisoner。ORLANDOWhatwerehismarks?ROSALINDAleancheek,whichyouhavenot,ablueeyeandsunken,whichyouhavenot,anunquestionablespirit,whichyouhavenot,abeardneglected,whichyouhavenot;butIpardonyouforthat,forsimplyyourhavinginbeardisayoungerbrother’srevenue:thenyourhoseshouldbeungartered,yourbonnetunbanded,yoursleeveunbuttoned,yourshoeuntiedandeverythingaboutyoudemonstratingacarelessdesolation;butyouarenosuchman;

youareratherpoint-deviceinyouraccoutrementsaslovingyourselfthanseemingtheloverofanyother。ORLANDOFairyouth,IwouldIcouldmaketheebelieveIlove。ROSALINDMebelieveit!youmayassoonmakeherthatyoulovebelieveit;which,Iwarrant,sheisaptertodothantoconfessshedoes:thatisoneofthepointsinthewhichwomenstillgivethelietotheirconsciences。But,ingoodsooth,areyouhethathangstheversesonthetrees,whereinRosalindissoadmired?ORLANDOIsweartothee,youth,bythewhitehandofRosalind,Iamthathe,thatunfortunatehe。ROSALINDButareyousomuchinloveasyourrhymesspeak?ORLANDONeitherrhymenorreasoncanexpresshowmuch。ROSALINDLoveismerelyamadness,and,Itellyou,deservesaswelladarkhouseandawhipasmadmendo:

andthereasonwhytheyarenotsopunishedandcuredis,thatthelunacyissoordinarythatthewhippersareinlovetoo。YetIprofesscuringitbycounsel。ORLANDODidyouevercureanyso?ROSALINDYes,one,andinthismanner。Hewastoimaginemehislove,hismistress;andIsethimeverydaytowoome:atwhichtimewouldI,beingbutamoonishyouth,grieve,beeffeminate,changeable,longingandliking,proud,fantastical,apish,shallow,inconstant,fulloftears,fullofsmiles,foreverypassionsomethingandfornopassiontrulyanything,asboysandwomenareforthemostpartcattleofthiscolour;wouldnowlikehim,nowloathehim;thenentertainhim,thenforswearhim;nowweepforhim,thenspitathim;thatIdravemysuitorfromhismadhumouroflovetoalivinghumourofmadness;whichwas,toforswearthefullstreamoftheworld,andtoliveinanookmerelymonastic。

AndthusIcuredhim;andthiswaywillItakeuponmetowashyourliverascleanasasoundsheep’sheart,thatthereshallnotbeonespotoflovein’t。ORLANDOIwouldnotbecured,youth。ROSALINDIwouldcureyou,ifyouwouldbutcallmeRosalindandcomeeverydaytomycoteandwoome。ORLANDONow,bythefaithofmylove,Iwill:

tellmewhereitis。ROSALINDGowithmetoitandI’llshowityouandbythewayyoushalltellmewhereintheforestyoulive。

Willyougo?ORLANDOWithallmyheart,goodyouth。ROSALINDNayyoumustcallmeRosalind。Come,sister,willyougo?

ExeuntSCENEIII。Theforest。EnterTOUCHSTONEandAUDREY;JAQUESbehindTOUCHSTONEComeapace,goodAudrey:Iwillfetchupyourgoats,Audrey。Andhow,Audrey?amIthemanyet?

dothmysimplefeaturecontentyou?AUDREYYourfeatures!Lordwarrantus!whatfeatures!TOUCHSTONEIamherewiththeeandthygoats,asthemostcapriciouspoet,honestOvid,wasamongtheGoths。JAQUES[Aside]Oknowledgeill-inhabited,worsethanJoveinathatchedhouse!TOUCHSTONEWhenaman’sversescannotbeunderstood,noraman’sgoodwitsecondedwiththeforwardchildUnderstanding,itstrikesamanmoredeadthanagreatreckoninginalittleroom。Truly,Iwouldthegodshadmadetheepoetical。AUDREYIdonotknowwhat’poetical’is:isithonestindeedandword?isitatruething?TOUCHSTONENo,truly;forthetruestpoetryisthemostfeigning;andloversaregiventopoetry,andwhattheyswearinpoetrymaybesaidasloverstheydofeign。AUDREYDoyouwishthenthatthegodshadmademepoetical?TOUCHSTONEIdo,truly;forthouswearesttomethouarthonest:now,ifthouwertapoet,Imighthavesomehopethoudidstfeign。AUDREYWouldyounothavemehonest?TOUCHSTONENo,truly,unlessthouwerthard-favoured;

forhonestycoupledtobeautyistohavehoneyasaucetosugar。JAQUES[Aside]Amaterialfool!AUDREYWell,Iamnotfair;andthereforeIpraythegodsmakemehonest。TOUCHSTONETruly,andtocastawayhonestyuponafoulslutweretoputgoodmeatintoanuncleandish。AUDREYIamnotaslut,thoughIthankthegodsIamfoul。TOUCHSTONEWell,praisedbethegodsforthyfoulness!

sluttishnessmaycomehereafter。Butbeitasitmaybe,Iwillmarrythee,andtothatendIhavebeenwithSirOliverMartext,thevicarofthenextvillage,whohathpromisedtomeetmeinthisplaceoftheforestandtocoupleus。JAQUES[Aside]Iwouldfainseethismeeting。AUDREYWell,thegodsgiveusjoy!TOUCHSTONEAmen。Amanmay,ifhewereofafearfulheart,staggerinthisattempt;forherewehavenotemplebutthewood,noassemblybuthorn-beasts。Butwhatthough?Courage!Ashornsareodious,theyarenecessary。Itissaid,’manyamanknowsnoendofhisgoods:’right;manyamanhasgoodhorns,andknowsnoendofthem。Well,thatisthedowryofhiswife;’tisnoneofhisowngetting。Horns?

Evenso。Poormenalone?No,no;thenoblestdeerhaththemashugeastherascal。Isthesinglemanthereforeblessed?No:asawalledtownismoreworthierthanavillage,soistheforeheadofamarriedmanmorehonourablethanthebarebrowofabachelor;andbyhowmuchdefenceisbetterthannoskill,bysomuchisahornmorepreciousthantowant。HerecomesSirOliver。

EnterSIROLIVERMARTEXT

SirOliverMartext,youarewellmet:willyoudispatchushereunderthistree,orshallwegowithyoutoyourchapel?SIROLIVERMARTEXTIstherenoneheretogivethewoman?TOUCHSTONEIwillnottakeherongiftofanyman。SIROLIVERMARTEXTTruly,shemustbegiven,orthemarriageisnotlawful。JAQUES[Advancing]

Proceed,proceedI’llgiveher。TOUCHSTONEGoodeven,goodMasterWhat-ye-call’t:

howdoyou,sir?Youareverywellmet:God’ildyouforyourlastcompany:Iamverygladtoseeyou:evenatoyinhandhere,sir:nay,praybecovered。JAQUESWillyoubemarried,motley?TOUCHSTONEAstheoxhathhisbow,sir,thehorsehiscurbandthefalconherbells,somanhathhisdesires;

andaspigeonsbill,sowedlockwouldbenibbling。JAQUESAndwillyou,beingamanofyourbreeding,bemarriedunderabushlikeabeggar?Getyoutochurch,andhaveagoodpriestthatcantellyouwhatmarriageis:thisfellowwillbutjoinyoutogetherastheyjoinwainscot;thenoneofyouwillproveashrunkpaneland,likegreentimber,warp,warp。TOUCHSTONE[Aside]IamnotinthemindbutIwerebettertobemarriedofhimthanofanother:forheisnotliketomarrymewell;andnotbeingwellmarried,itwillbeagoodexcuseformehereaftertoleavemywife。JAQUESGothouwithme,andletmecounselthee。TOUCHSTONE’Come,sweetAudrey:

Wemustbemarried,orwemustliveinbawdry。

Farewell,goodMasterOliver:not,——

OsweetOliver,ObraveOliver,Leavemenotbehindthee:but,——

Windaway,Begone,Isay,Iwillnottoweddingwiththee。

ExeuntJAQUES,TOUCHSTONEandAUDREYSIROLIVERMARTEXT’Tisnomatter:ne’erafantasticalknaveofthemallshallfloutmeoutofmycalling。

ExitSCENEIV。Theforest。EnterROSALINDandCELIAROSALINDNevertalktome;Iwillweep。CELIADo,Iprithee;butyethavethegracetoconsiderthattearsdonotbecomeaman。ROSALINDButhaveInotcausetoweep?CELIAAsgoodcauseasonewoulddesire;thereforeweep。ROSALINDHisveryhairisofthedissemblingcolour。CELIASomethingbrownerthanJudas’smarry,hiskissesareJudas’sownchildren。ROSALINDI’faith,hishairisofagoodcolour。CELIAAnexcellentcolour:yourchestnutwasevertheonlycolour。ROSALINDAndhiskissingisasfullofsanctityasthetouchofholybread。CELIAHehathboughtapairofcastlipsofDiana:anunofwinter’ssisterhoodkissesnotmorereligiously;

theveryiceofchastityisinthem。ROSALINDButwhydidheswearhewouldcomethismorning,andcomesnot?CELIANay,certainly,thereisnotruthinhim。ROSALINDDoyouthinkso?CELIAYes;Ithinkheisnotapick-pursenorahorse-stealer,butforhisverityinlove,Idothinkhimasconcaveasacoveredgobletoraworm-eatennut。ROSALINDNottrueinlove?CELIAYes,whenheisin;butIthinkheisnotin。ROSALINDYouhaveheardhimsweardownrighthewas。CELIA’Was’isnot’is:’besides,theoathofaloverisnostrongerthanthewordofatapster;theyareboththeconfirmeroffalsereckonings。Heattendshereintheforestonthedukeyourfather。ROSALINDImetthedukeyesterdayandhadmuchquestionwithhim:heaskedmeofwhatparentageIwas;Itoldhim,ofasgoodashe;sohelaughedandletmego。

Butwhattalkweoffathers,whenthereissuchamanasOrlando?CELIAO,that’sabraveman!hewritesbraveverses,speaksbravewords,swearsbraveoathsandbreaksthembravely,quitetraverse,athwarttheheartofhislover;asapuisnytilter,thatspurshishorsebutononeside,breakshisstafflikeanoblegoose:butall’sbravethatyouthmountsandfollyguides。Whocomeshere?

EnterCORINCORINMistressandmaster,youhaveoftinquiredAftertheshepherdthatcomplain’doflove,Whoyousawsittingbymeontheturf,PraisingtheprouddisdainfulshepherdessThatwashismistress。CELIAWell,andwhatofhim?CORINIfyouwillseeapageanttrulyplay’d,BetweenthepalecomplexionoftrueloveAndtheredglowofscornandprouddisdain,GohencealittleandIshallconductyou,Ifyouwillmarkit。ROSALINDO,come,letusremove:

Thesightofloversfeedeththoseinlove。

Bringustothissight,andyoushallsayI’llproveabusyactorintheirplay。

ExeuntSCENEV。Anotherpartoftheforest。EnterSILVIUSandPHEBESILVIUSSweetPhebe,donotscornme;donot,Phebe;

Saythatyoulovemenot,butsaynotsoInbitterness。Thecommonexecutioner,Whosehearttheaccustom’dsightofdeathmakeshard,FallsnottheaxeuponthehumbledneckButfirstbegspardon:willyousternerbeThanhethatdiesandlivesbybloodydrops?

EnterROSALIND,CELIA,andCORIN,behindPHEBEIwouldnotbethyexecutioner:

Iflythee,forIwouldnotinjurethee。

Thoutell’stmethereismurderinmineeye:

’Tispretty,sure,andveryprobable,Thateyes,thatarethefrail’standsoftestthings,Whoshuttheircowardgatesonatomies,Shouldbecall’dtyrants,butchers,murderers!

NowIdofrownontheewithallmyheart;

Andifmineeyescanwound,nowletthemkillthee:

Nowcounterfeittoswoon;whynowfalldown;

Orifthoucanstnot,O,forshame,forshame,Lienot,tosaymineeyesaremurderers!

Nowshowthewoundmineeyehathmadeinthee:

Scratchtheebutwithapin,andthereremainsSomescarofit;leanbutuponarush,ThecicatriceandcapableimpressureThypalmsomemomentkeeps;butnowmineeyes,WhichIhavedartedatthee,hurttheenot,Nor,Iamsure,thereisnoforceineyesThatcandohurt。SILVIUSOdearPhebe,Ifever,——asthatevermaybenear,——

Youmeetinsomefreshcheekthepoweroffancy,ThenshallyouknowthewoundsinvisibleThatlove’skeenarrowsmake。PHEBEButtillthattimeComenotthounearme:andwhenthattimecomes,Afflictmewiththymocks,pitymenot;

AstillthattimeIshallnotpitythee。ROSALINDAndwhy,Iprayyou?Whomightbeyourmother,Thatyouinsult,exult,andallatonce,Overthewretched?Whatthoughyouhavenobeauty,——

As,bymyfaith,IseenomoreinyouThanwithoutcandlemaygodarktobed——

Mustyoubethereforeproudandpitiless?

Why,whatmeansthis?Whydoyoulookonme?

IseenomoreinyouthanintheordinaryOfnature’ssale-work。’Od’smylittlelife,Ithinkshemeanstotanglemyeyestoo!

No,faith,proudmistress,hopenotafterit:

’Tisnotyourinkybrows,yourblacksilkhair,Yourbugleeyeballs,noryourcheekofcream,Thatcanentamemyspiritstoyourworship。

Youfoolishshepherd,whereforedoyoufollowher,Likefoggysouthpuffingwithwindandrain?

YouareathousandtimesaproperermanThansheawoman:’tissuchfoolsasyouThatmakestheworldfullofill-favour’dchildren:

’Tisnotherglass,butyou,thatflattersher;

AndoutofyousheseesherselfmoreproperThananyofherlineamentscanshowher。

But,mistress,knowyourself:downonyourknees,Andthankheaven,fasting,foragoodman’slove:

ForImusttellyoufriendlyinyourear,Sellwhenyoucan:youarenotforallmarkets:

Crythemanmercy;lovehim;takehisoffer:

Foulismostfoul,beingfoultobeascoffer。

Sotakehertothee,shepherd:fareyouwell。PHEBESweetyouth,Iprayyou,chideayeartogether:

Ihadratherhearyouchidethanthismanwoo。ROSALINDHe’sfalleninlovewithyourfoulnessandshe’llfallinlovewithmyanger。Ifitbeso,asfastassheanswerstheewithfrowninglooks,I’llsauceherwithbitterwords。Whylookyousouponme?PHEBEFornoillwillIbearyou。ROSALINDIprayyou,donotfallinlovewithme,ForIamfalserthanvowsmadeinwine:

Besides,Ilikeyounot。Ifyouwillknowmyhouse,’Tisatthetuftofolivesherehardby。

Willyougo,sister?Shepherd,plyherhard。

Come,sister。Shepherdess,lookonhimbetter,Andbenotproud:thoughalltheworldcouldsee,Nonecouldbesoabusedinsightashe。

Come,toourflock。

ExeuntROSALIND,CELIAandCORINPHEBEDeadShepherd,nowIfindthysawofmight,’Whoeverlovedthatlovednotatfirstsight?’SILVIUSSweetPhebe,——PHEBEHa,whatsay’stthou,Silvius?SILVIUSSweetPhebe,pityme。PHEBEWhy,Iamsorryforthee,gentleSilvius。SILVIUSWhereversorrowis,reliefwouldbe:

Ifyoudosorrowatmygriefinlove,BygivingloveyoursorrowandmygriefWerebothextermined。PHEBEThouhastmylove:isnotthatneighbourly?SILVIUSIwouldhaveyou。PHEBEWhy,thatwerecovetousness。

Silvius,thetimewasthatIhatedthee,AndyetitisnotthatIbeartheelove;

Butsincethatthoucansttalkoflovesowell,Thycompany,whicherstwasirksometome,Iwillendure,andI’llemploytheetoo:

ButdonotlookforfurtherrecompenseThanthineowngladnessthatthouartemploy’d。SILVIUSSoholyandsoperfectismylove,AndIinsuchapovertyofgrace,ThatIshallthinkitamostplenteouscropTogleanthebrokenearsafterthemanThatthemainharvestreaps:loosenowandthenAscatter’dsmile,andthatI’llliveupon。PHEBEKnow’stnowtheyouththatspoketomeerewhile?SILVIUSNotverywell,butIhavemethimoft;

AndhehathboughtthecottageandtheboundsThattheoldcarlotoncewasmasterof。PHEBEThinknotIlovehim,thoughIaskforhim:

’Tisbutapeevishboy;yethetalkswell;

ButwhatcareIforwords?yetwordsdowellWhenhethatspeaksthempleasesthosethathear。

Itisaprettyyouth:notverypretty:

But,sure,he’sproud,andyethispridebecomeshim:

He’llmakeaproperman:thebestthinginhimIshiscomplexion;andfasterthanhistongueDidmakeoffencehiseyedidhealitup。

Heisnotverytall;yetforhisyearshe’stall:

Hislegisbutsoso;andyet’tiswell:

Therewasaprettyrednessinhislip,AlittleriperandmorelustyredThanthatmix’dinhischeek;’twasjustthedifferenceBetweentheconstantredandmingleddamask。

Therebesomewomen,Silvius,hadtheymark’dhimInparcelsasIdid,wouldhavegonenearTofallinlovewithhim;but,formypart,Ilovehimnotnorhatehimnot;andyetIhavemorecausetohatehimthantolovehim:

Forwhathadhetodotochideatme?

Hesaidmineeyeswereblackandmyhairblack:

And,nowIamremember’d,scorn’datme:

ImarvelwhyIanswer’dnotagain:

Butthat’sallone;omittanceisnoquittance。

I’llwritetohimaverytauntingletter,Andthoushaltbearit:wiltthou,Silvius?SILVIUSPhebe,withallmyheart。PHEBEI’llwriteitstraight;

Thematter’sinmyheadandinmyheart:

Iwillbebitterwithhimandpassingshort。

Gowithme,Silvius。