Carlyletoldusallthatwearemostlyfools。MatthewArnoldandRuskinweremorecircumstantialandmoreabusive。Everybody，includingtheworkersthemselves，knowthattheyaredirty，drunken，foul-mouthed，ignorant，gluttonous，prejudiced：inshort，heirstothepeculiarillsofpovertyandslavery，aswellasco-heirswiththeplutocracytoallthefailingsofhumannature。EvenShelleyadmitted，200yearsafterShakespearwroteCoriolanus，thatuniversalsuffragewasoutofthequestion。Surelytherealtest，notofDemocracy，whichwasnotalivepoliticalissueinShakespear’stime，butofimpartialityinjudgingclasses，whichiswhatonedemandsfromagreathumanpoet，isnotthatheshouldflatterthepooranddenouncetherich，butthatheshouldweighthembothinthesamebalance。NowwhoeverwillreadLearandMeasureforMeasurewillfindstampedonhismindsuchanappalledsenseofthedangerofdressingmaninalittlebriefauthority，suchamercilessstrippingofthepurplefromthe\"poor，bare，forkedanimal\"thatcallsitselfakingandfanciesitselfagod，thatonewonderswhatwastherealnatureofthemysteriousrestraintthatkept\"ElizaandourJames\"fromteachingShakespeartobeciviltocrownedheads，justasonewonderswhyTolstoywasallowedtogofreewhensomanylessterriblelevellerswenttothegalleysorSiberia。FromthematureShakespearwegetnosuchscenesofvillagesnobberyasthatbetweenthestagecountrygentlemanAlexanderIdenandthestageRadicalJackCade。WegettheshepherdinAsYouLikeIt，andmanyhonest，brave，human，andloyalservants，besidetheinevitablecomicones。EvenintheJingoplay，HenryV，wegetBatesandWilliamsdrawnwithallrespectandhonorasnormalrankandfilemen。InJuliusCaesar，ShakespearwenttoworkwithawillwhenhetookhiscuefromPlutarchinglorifyingregicideandtransfiguringtherepublicans。Indeedhero-worshippershaveneverforgivenhimforbelittlingCaesarandfailingtoseethatsideofhisassassinationwhichmadeGoethedenounceitasthemostsenselessofcrimes。PuttheplaybesidetheCharlesIofWills，inwhichCromwelliswrittendowntoapointatwhichtheJackCadeofHenryVIbecomesaheroincomparison；andthenbelieve，ifyoucan，thatShakespearwasoneofthemthat\"crookthepregnanthingesofthekneewherethriftmayfollowfawning。\"ThinkofRosencrantz，Guildenstern，Osric，thefopwhoannoyedHotspur，andadozenpassagesconcerningsuchpeople！Ifsuchevidencecanproveanything（andMrHarrisreliesthroughoutonsuchevidence）Shakespearloathedcourtiers。
If，ontheotherhand，Shakespear’scharactersaremostlymembersoftheleisuredclasses，thesamethingistrueofMrHarris’sownplaysandmine。Industrialslaveryisnotcompatiblewiththatfreedomofadventure，thatpersonalrefinementandintellectualculture，thatscopeofaction，whichthehigherandsubtlerdramademands。
EvenCervanteshadfinallytodropDonQuixote’stroubleswithinnkeepersdemandingtobepaidforhisfoodandlodging，andmakehimasfreeofeconomicdifficultiesasAmadisdeGaul。Hamlet’sexperiencessimplycouldnothavehappenedtoaplumber。Apoormanisusefulonthestageonlyasablindmanis：toexcitesympathy。
ThepovertyoftheapothecaryinRomeoandJulietproducesagreateffect，andevenpointsthesoundmoralthatapoormancannotaffordtohaveaconscience；butifallthecharactersoftheplayhadbeenaspoorashe，itwouldhavebeennothingbutamelodramaofthesortthattheSicilianplayersgaveushere；andthatwasnotthebestthatlayinShakespear’spower。Whenpovertyisabolished，andleisureandgraceoflifebecomegeneral，theonlyplayssurvivingfromourepochwhichwillhaveanyrelationtolifeasitwillbelivedthenwillbethoseinwhichnoneofthepersonsrepresentedaretroubledwithwantofmoneyorwretcheddrudgery。Ourplaysofpovertyandsqualor，nowtheonlyonesthataretruetothelifeofthemajorityoflivingmen，willthenbeclassedwiththerecordsofmisersandmonsters，andreadonlybyhistoricalstudentsofsocialpathology。
ThenconsiderShakespear’skingsandlordsandgentlemen！WouldevenJohnBallorJeremiahcomplainthattheyareflattered？Surelyamoremercilesslyexposedstringofscoundrelsnevercrossedthestage。Theverymonarchwhoparalyzesarebelbyappealingtothedivinitythathedgesaking，isadrunkenandsensualassassin，andispresentlykilledcontemptuouslybeforeoureyesinspiteofhishedgeofdivinity。IcouldwriteasconvincingachapteronShakespear’sDickensianprejudiceagainstthethroneandthenobilityandgentryingeneralasMrHarrisorErnestCrosbieontheotherside。IcouldevengosofarastocontendthatoneofShakespear’sdefectsishislackofanintelligentcomprehensionoffeudalism。HehadofcoursenoprevisionofdemocraticCollectivism。Hewas，exceptinthecommonplacesofwarandpatriotism，aprivateerthroughandthrough。
Nobodyinhisplays，whetherkingorcitizen，hasanycivilpublicbusinessorconceptionofsuchathing，exceptinthemethodofappointingconstables，totheabusesinwhichhecalledattentionquiteintheveinoftheFabianSociety。Hewasconcernedaboutdrunkennessandabouttheidolatryandhypocrisyofourjudicialsystem；buthisimpliedremedywaspersonalsobrietyandfreedomfromidolatrousillusioninsofarashehadanyremedyatall，anddidnotmerelydespairofhumannature。Hisfirstandlastwordonparliamentwas\"Gettheeglasseyes，and，likeascurvypolitician，seemtoseethethingthoudostnot。\"HehadnonotionofthefeelingwithwhichthelandnationalizersoftodayregardthefactthathewasapartytotheenclosureofcommonlandsatWellcome。Theexplanationis，notageneraldeficiencyinhismind，butthesimplefactthatinhisdaywhatEnglishlandneededwasindividualappropriationandcultivation，andwhattheEnglishConstitutionneededwastheincorporationofWhigprinciplesofindividualliberty。
ShakespearandtheBritishPublicIhaverejectedMrHarris’sviewthatShakespeardiedbroken-heartedof\"thepangsoflovedespised。\"IhavegivenmyreasonsforbelievingthatShakespeardiedgame，andindeedinastateoflevitywhichwouldhavebeenconsideredunbecominginabishop。ButMrHarris’sevidencedoesprovethatShakespearhadagrievanceandaveryseriousone。Hemighthavebeenjiltedbytendarkladiesandbeennonetheworseforit；buthistreatmentbytheBritishPublicwasanothermatter。TheidolatrywhichexasperatedBenJonsonwasbynomeansapopularmovement；and，likeallsuchidolatries，itwasexcitedbythemagicofShakespear’sartratherthanbyhisviews。
HewaslaunchedonhiscareerasasuccessfulplaywrightbytheHenryVItrilogy，aworkofnooriginality，depth，orsubtletyexcepttheoriginality，depth，andsubtletyofthefeelingsandfanciesofthecommonpeople。ButShakespearwasnotsatisfiedwiththis。WhatistheuseofbeingShakespearifyouarenotallowedtoexpressanynotionsbutthoseofAutolycus？ShakespeardidnotseetheworldasAutolycusdid：hesawit，ifnotexactlyasIbsendid（foritwasnotquitethesameworld），atleastwithmuchofIbsen’spowerofpenetratingitsillusionsandidolatries，andwithallSwift’shorrorofitscrueltyanduncleanliness。
Nowithappenstosomemenwiththesepowersthattheyareforcedtoimposetheirfullestexerciseontheworldbecausetheycannotproducepopularwork。TakeWagnerandIbsenforinstance！Theirearlierworksarenodoubtmuchcheaperthantheirlaterones；still，theywerenotpopularwhentheywerewritten。Thealternativeofdoingpopularworkwasneverreallyopentothem：hadtheystoopedtheywouldhavepickeduplessthantheysnatchedfromabovethepeople’sheads。ButHandelandShakespearwerenotheldtotheirbestinthisway。Theycouldturnoutanythingtheywereaskedfor，andevenheapupthemeasure。TheyreviledtheBritishPublic，andneverforgaveitforignoringtheirbestworkandadmiringtheirsplendidcommonplaces；
buttheyproducedthecommonplacesallthesame，andmadethemsoundmagnificentbymerebrutefacultyfortheirart。WhenShakespearwasforcedtowritepopularplaystosavehistheatrefromruin，hediditmutinously，callingtheplays\"As_You_LikeIt，\"and\"MuchAdoAboutNothing。\"Allthesame，hediditsowellthattothisdaythesetwogenialvulgaritiesarethemainShakespearianstock-in-tradeofourtheatres。LateronBurbage’spowerandpopularityasanactorenabledShakespeartofreehimselffromthetyrannyoftheboxoffice，andtoexpresshimselfmorefreelyinplaysconsistinglargelyofmonologuetobespokenbyagreatactorfromwhomthepublicwouldstandagooddeal。ThehistoryofShakespear’stragedieshasthusbeenthehistoryofalonglineoffamousactors，fromBurbageandBettertontoForbesRobertson；andthemanofwhomwearetoldthat\"whenhewouldhavesaidthatRicharddied，andcriedAhorse！Ahorse！heBurbagecried\"
wasthefatherofninegenerationsofShakespearianplaygoers，allspeakingofGarrick’sRichard，andKean’sOthello，andIrving’sShylock，andForbesRobertson’sHamletwithoutknowingorcaringhowmuchthesehadtodowithShakespear’sRichardandOthelloandsoforth。Andtheplayswhichwerewrittenwithoutgreatandpredominantparts，suchasTroilusandCressida，All’sWellThatEndsWell，andMeasureforMeasure，havedroppedonourstageasdeadasthesecondpartofGoethe’sFaustorIbsen’sEmperororGalilean。
Here，then，Shakespearhadarealgrievance；andthoughitisasentimentalexaggerationtodescribehimasabroken-heartedmaninthefaceofthepassagesofrecklessjollityandserenelyhappypoetryinhislatestplays，yetthediscoverythathismostseriousworkcouldreachsuccessonlywhencarriedonthebackofaveryfascinatingactorwhowasenormouslyovercharginghispart，andthattheseriousplayswhichdidnotcontainpartsbigenoughtoholdtheoverchargewereleftontheshelf，amplyaccountsfortheevidentfactthatShakespeardidnotendhislifeinaglowofenthusiasticsatisfactionwithmankindandwiththetheatre，whichisallthatMrHarriscanallegeinsupportofhisbroken-hearttheory。ButevenifShakespearhadhadnofailures，itwasnotpossibleforamanofhispowerstoobservethepoliticalandmoralconductofhiscontemporarieswithoutperceivingthattheywereincapableofdealingwiththeproblemsraisedbytheirowncivilization，andthattheirattemptstocarryoutthecodesoflawandtopractisethereligionsofferedtothembygreatprophetsandlaw-giverswereandstillaresofoolishthatwenowcallforTheSuperman，virtuallyanewspecies，torescuetheworldfrommismanagement。Thisistherealsorrowofgreatmen；andinthefaceofitthenotionthatwhenagreatmanspeaksbitterlyorlooksmelancholyhemustbetroubledbyadisappointmentinloveseemstomesentimentaltrifling。
IfIhavecarriedthereaderwithmethusfar，hewillfindthattrivialasthislittleplayofmineis，itssketchofShakespearismorecompletethanitslevitysuggests。Alas！itsappealforaNationalTheatreasamonumenttoShakespearfailedtotouchtheverystupidpeoplewhocannotseethataNationalTheatreisworthhavingforthesakeoftheNationalSoul。IhadunfortunatelyrepresentedShakespearastreasuringandusing（asIdomyself）thejewelsofunconsciouslymusicalspeechwhichcommonpeopleutterandthrowawayeveryday；andthiswastakenasadisparagementofShakespear’s\"originality。\"WhywasIbornwithsuchcontemporaries？WhyisShakespearmaderidiculousbysuchaposterity？
_TheDarkLadyofTheSonnetswasfirstperformedattheHaymarketTheatre，ontheafternoonofThursday，the24thNovember1910，byMonaLimerickastheDarkLady，SuzanneSheldonasQueenElizabeth，GranvilleBarkerasShakespear，andHughTabbererastheWarder。_
THEDARKLADYOFTHESONNETS
_Findesiecle15-1600。MidsummernightontheterraceofthePalaceatWhitehall，overlookingtheThames。ThePalaceclockchimesfourquartersandstrikeseleven。_
_ABeefeateronguard。ACloakedManapproaches。_
THEBEEFEATER。Stand。Whogoesthere？Givetheword。
THEMAN。Marry！Icannot。Ihavecleanforgottenit。
THEBEEFEATER。Thencannotyoupasshere。Whatisyourbusiness？
Whoareyou？Areyouatrueman？
THEMAN。Farfromit，MasterWarder。Iamnotthesamemantwodaystogether：sometimesAdam，sometimesBenvolio，andanontheGhost。
THEBEEFEATER。_[recoiling]_Aghost！Angelsandministersofgracedefendus！
THEMAN。Wellsaid，MasterWarder。WithyourleaveIwillsetthatdowninwriting；forIhaveaverypoorandunhappybrainforremembrance。_[Hetakesouthistabletsandwrites]。_Methinksthisisagoodscene，withyouonyourlonelywatch，andIapproachinglikeaghostinthemoonlight。Starenotsoamazedlyatme；butmarkwhatIsay。Ikeeptrysthereto-nightwithadarklady。Shepromisedtobribethewarder。Igaveherthewherewithal：fourticketsfortheGlobeTheatre。
THEBEEFEATER。Plagueonher！Shegavemetwoonly。
THEMAN。_[detachingatablet]_Myfriend：presentthistablet，andyouwillbewelcomedatanytimewhentheplaysofWillShakespearareinhand。Bringyourwife。Bringyourfriends。Bringthewholegarrison。Thereiseverplentyofroom。
THEBEEFEATER。Icarenotforthesenew-fangledplays。Nomancanunderstandawordofthem。Theyarealltalk。WillyounotgivemeapassforTheSpanishTragedy？
THEMAN。ToseeTheSpanishTragedyonepays，myfriend。Herearethemeans。_[Hegiveshimapieceofgold]。_
THEBEEFEATER。_[overwhelmed]_Gold！Oh，sir，youareabetterpaymasterthanyourdarklady。
THEMAN。Womenarethrifty，myfriend。
THEBEEFEATER。Tisso，sir。Andyouhavetoconsiderthatthemostopenhandedofusmusteencheapenthatwhichwebuyeveryday。Thisladyhastomakeapresenttoawardernigheverynightofherlife。
THEMAN。_[turningpale]_I’llnotbelieveit。
THEBEEFEATER。Nowyou，sir，Idarebesworn，donothaveanadventurelikethistwiceintheyear。
THEMAN。Villain：wouldsttellmethatmydarkladyhatheverdonethusbefore？thatshemakethoccasionstomeetothermen？
THEBEEFEATER。NowtheLordblessyourinnocence，sir，doyouthinkyouaretheonlyprettymanintheworld？Amerrylady，sir：awarmbitofstuff。Goto：I’llnotseeherpassadeceitonagentlemanthathathgivenmethefirstpieceofgoldIeverhandled。
THEMAN。MasterWarder：isitnotastrangethingthatwe，knowingthatallwomenarefalse，shouldbeamazedtofindourownparticulardrabnobetterthantherest？
THEBEEFEATER。Notall，sir。Decentbodies，manyofthem。
THEMAN。_[intolerantly]_No。Allfalse。All。Ifthoudenyit，thouliest。
THEBEEFEATER。YoujudgetoomuchbytheCourt，sir。There，indeed，youmaysayoffrailtythatitsnameiswoman。
THEMAN。_[pullingouthistabletsagain]_Pritheesaythatagain：
thataboutfrailty：thestrainofmusic。
THEBEEFEATER。Whatstrainofmusic，sir？I’mnomusician，Godknows。
THEMAN。Thereismusicinyoursoul：manyofyourdegreehaveitverynotably。_[Writing]_\"Frailty：thynameiswoman！\"
_[Repeatingitaffectionately]_\"Thynameiswoman。\"
THEBEEFEATER。Well，sir，itisbutfourwords。Areyouasnapper-upofsuchunconsideredtrifles？
THEMAN。_[eagerly]_Snapper-upof——_[hegasps]_Oh！Immortalphrase！_[Hewritesitdown]。_ThismanisagreaterthanI。
THEBEEFEATER。YouhavemylordPembroke’strick，sir。
THEMAN。Likeenough：heismynearfriend。Butwhatcallyouhistrick？
THEBEEFEATER。Makingsonnetsbymoonlight。Andtothesameladytoo。
THEMAN。No！
THEBEEFEATER。Lastnighthestoodhereonyourerrand，andinyourshoes。
THEMAN。Thou，too，Brutus！AndIcalledhimfriend！
THEBEEFEATER。Tiseverso，sir。
THEMAN。Tiseverso。Twaseverso。_[Heturnsaway，overcome]。_
TwoGentlemenofVerona！Judas！Judas！！
THEBEEFEATER。Ishesobadasthat，sir？
THEMAN。_[recoveringhischarityandself-possession]_Bad？Ohno。
Human，MasterWarder，human。Wecalloneanothernameswhenweareoffended，aschildrendo。Thatisall。
THEBEEFEATER。Ay，sir：words，words，words。Merewind，sir。Wefillourbellieswiththeeastwind，sir，astheScripturehathit。
Youcannotfeedcaponsso。
THEMAN。Agoodcadence。Byyourleave_[Hemakesanoteofit]。_
THEBEEFEATER。Whatmannerofthingisacadence，sir？Ihavenotheardofit。
THEMAN。Athingtoruletheworldwith，friend。
THEBEEFEATER。Youspeakstrangely，sir：nooffence。But，an’tlikeyou，youareaverycivilgentleman；andapoormanfeelsdrawntoyou，youbeing，astwere，willingtoshareyourthoughtwithhim。
THEMAN。Tismytrade。Butalas！theworldforthemostpartwillnoneofmythoughts。
_Lamplightstreamsfromthepalacedoorasitopensfromwithin。_
THEBEEFEATER。Herecomesyourlady，sir。I’lltot’otherendofmyward。Youmayeentakeyourtimeaboutyourbusiness：Ishallnotreturntoosuddenlyunlessmysergeantcomesprowlinground。Tisafellsergeant，sir：strictinhisarrest。Go’d’en，sir；andgoodluck！_[Hegoes]。_
THEMAN。\"Strictinhisarrest\"！\"Fellsergeant\"！_[Asiftastingaripeplum]_O-o-o-h！_[Hemakesanoteofthem]。_
_ACloakedLadygropesherwayfromthepalaceandwandersalongtheterrace，walkinginhersleep。_
THELADY。_[rubbingherhandsasifwashingthem]_Out，damnedspot。
Youwillmarallwiththesecosmetics。Godmadeyouoneface；andyoumakeyourselfanother。Thinkofyourgrave，woman，noteverofbeingbeautified。AlltheperfumesofArabiawillnotwhitenthisTudorhand。
THEMAN。\"AlltheperfumesofArabia\"！\"Beautified\"！\"Beautified\"！
apoeminasingleword。CanthisbemyMary？_[TotheLady]_Whydoyouspeakinastrangevoice，andutterpoetryforthefirsttime？
Areyouailing？Youwalklikethedead。Mary！Mary！
THELADY。_[echoinghim]_Mary！Mary！Whowouldhavethoughtthatwomantohavehadsomuchbloodinher！Isitmyfaultthatmycounsellorsputdeedsofbloodonme？Fie！Ifyouwerewomenyouwouldhavemorewitthantostainthefloorsofoully。Holdnotupherheadso：thehairisfalse。Itellyouyetagain，Mary’sburied：
shecannotcomeoutofhergrave。Ifearhernot：thesecatsthatdarejumpintothronesthoughtheybefitonlyformen’slapsmustbeputaway。Whatsdonecannotbeundone。Out，Isay。Fie！aqueen，andfreckled！
THEMAN。_[shakingherarm]_Mary，Isay：artasleep？
_TheLadywakes；starts；andnearlyfaints。Hecatchesheronhisarm。_
THELADY。WhereamI？Whatartthou？
THEMAN。Icryyourmercy。Ihavemistookyourpersonallthiswhile。MethoughtyouweremyMary：mymistress。
THELADY。_[outraged]_Profanefellow：howdoyoudare？
THEMAN。Benotwrothwithme，lady。Mymistressisamarvellousproperwoman。Butshedoesnotspeaksowellasyou。\"AlltheperfumesofArabia\"！Thatwaswellsaid：spokenwithgoodaccentandexcellentdiscretion。
THELADY。HaveIbeeninspeechwithyouhere？
THEMAN。Why，yes，fairlady。Haveyouforgotit？
THELADY。Ihavewalkedinmysleep。
THEMAN。Walkeverinyoursleep，fairone；forthenyourwordsdroplikehoney。
THELADY。_[withcoldmajesty]_Knowyoutowhomyouspeak，sir，thatyoudareexpressyourselfsosaucily？
THEMAN。_[unabashed]_NotI，notcareneither。YouaresomeladyoftheCourt，belike。Tometherearebuttwosortsofwomen：thosewithexcellentvoices，sweetandlow，andcacklinghensthatcannotmakemedream。Yourvoicehasallmanneroflovelinessinit。Grudgemenotashorthourofitsmusic。
THELADY。Sir：youareoverbold。Seasonyouradmirationforawhilewith——
THEMAN。_[holdinguphishandtostopher]_\"Seasonyouradmirationforawhile——\"
THELADY。Fellow：doyoudaremimicmetomyface？
THEMAN。Tismusic。Canyounothear？Whenagoodmusiciansingsasong，doyounotsingitandsingitagaintillyouhavecaughtandfixeditsperfectmelody？Seasonyouradmirationforawhile\"：God！
thehistoryofman’sheartisinthatonewordadmiration。
Admiration！_[Takinguphistablets]_Whatwasit？\"Suspendyouradmirationforaspace——\"
THELADY。Averyvilejingleofesses。Isaid\"Seasonyour——\"
THEMAN。_[hastily]_Season：ay，season，season，season。Plagueonmymemory，mywretchedmemory！Imusteenwriteitdown。_[Hebeginstowrite，butstops，hismemoryfailinghim]。_Yettellmewhichwasthevilejingle？Yousaidveryjustly：mineownearcaughtitevenasmyfalsetonguesaidit。
THELADY。Yousaid\"foraspace。\"Isaid\"forawhile。\"
THEMAN。\"Forawhile\"_[hecorrectsit]。_Good！_[Ardently]_Andnowbemineneitherforaspacenorawhile，butforever。
THELADY。Oddsmylife！Areyoubychancemakinglovetome，knave？
THEMAN。Nay：tisyouwhohavemadethelove：Ibutpouritoutatyourfeet。Icannotbutlovealassthatsetssuchstorebyanaptword。Thereforevouchsafe，divineperfectionofawoman——no：Ihavesaidthatbeforesomewhere；andthewordygarmentofmyloveforyoumustbefire-new——
THELADY。Youtalktoomuch，sir。Letmewarnyou：Iammoreaccustomedtobelistenedtothanpreachedat。
THEMAN。Themostarelikethatthatdotalkwell。Butthoughyouspakewiththetonguesofangels，asindeedyoudo，yetknowthatIamthekingofwords——
THELADY。Aking，ha！
THEMAN。Noless。Wearepoorthings，wemenandwomen——
THELADY。Dareyoucallmewoman？
THEMAN。WhatnoblernamecanItenderyou？HowelsecanIloveyou？
Yetyoumaywellshrinkfromthename：haveInotsaidwearebutpoorthings？Yetthereisapowerthatcanredeemus。
THELADY。Gramercyforyoursermon，sir。IhopeIknowmyduty。
THEMAN。Thisisnosermon，butthelivingtruth。ThepowerIspeakofisthepowerofimmortalpoesy。Forknowthatvileasthisworldis，andwormsasweare，youhavebuttoinvestallthisvilenesswithamagicalgarmentofwordstotransfigureusandupliftoursoulstilearthflowersintoamillionheavens。
THELADY。Youspoilyourheavenwithyourmillion。Youareextravagant。Observesomemeasureinyourspeech。
THEMAN。YouspeaknowasBendoes。
THELADY。Andwho，pray，isBen？
THEMAN。Alearnedbricklayerwhothinksthattheskyisatthetopofhisladder，andsotakesitonhimtorebukemeforflying。Itellyouthereisnowordyetcoinedandnomelodyyetsungthatisextravagantandmajesticalenoughfortheglorythatlovelywordscanreveal。Itisheresytodenyit：haveyounotbeentaughtthatinthebeginningwastheWord？thattheWordwaswithGod？nay，thattheWordwasGod？
THELADY。Beware，fellow，howyoupresumetospeakofholythings。
TheQueenistheheadoftheChurch。
THEMAN。YouaretheheadofmyChurchwhenyouspeakasyoudidatfirst。\"AlltheperfumesofArabia\"！CantheQueenspeakthus？Theysaysheplayethwelluponthevirginals。Letherplaysotome；andI’llkissherhands。Butuntilthen，youaremyQueen；andI’llkissthoselipsthathavedroptmusiconmyheart。_[Heputshisarmsabonther]。_
THELADY。Unmeasuredimpudence！Onyourlife，takeyourhandsfromme。
_TheDarkLadycomesstoopingalongtheterracebehindthemlikearunningthrush。Whensheseeshowtheyareemployed，sherisesangrilytoherfullheight，andlistensjealously。_
THEMAN。_[unawareoftheDarkLady]_Thenceasetomakemyhandstremblewiththestreamsoflifeyoupourthroughthem。Youholdmeasthelodestarholdstheiron：Icannotbutclingtoyou。Wearelost，youandI：nothingcanseparateusnow。
THEDARKLADY。Weshallseethat，falselyinghound，youandyourfilthytrull。_[Withtwovigorouscuffs，sheknocksthepairasunder，sendingtheman，whoisunluckyenoughtoreceivearighthandedblow，sprawlingantheflags]。_Takethat，bothofyou！
THECLOAKEDLADY。_[intoweringwrath，throwingoffhercloakandturninginoutragedmajestyonherassailant]_Hightreason！
THEDARKLADY。_[recognizingherandfallingonherkneesinabjectterror]_Will：Iamlost：IhavestrucktheQueen。
THEMAN。_[sittingupasmajesticallyashisignominiouspostureallows]_Woman：youhavestruckWILLIAMSHAKESPEAR。
QUEENELIZABETH。_[stupent]_Marry，comeup！！！StruckWilliamShakespearquotha！Andwhointhenameofalltheslutsandjadesandlight-o’-lovesandfly-by-nightsthatinfestthispalaceofmine，mayWilliamShakespearbe？
THEDARKLADY。Madam：heisbutaplayer。Oh，Icouldhavemyhandcutoff——
QUEENELIZABETH。Belikeyouwill，mistress。HaveyoubethoughtyouthatIamliketohaveyourheadcutoffaswell？
THEDARKLADY。Will：saveme。Oh，saveme。
ELIZABETH。Saveyou！Alikelysavior，onmyroyalword！Ihadthoughtthisfellowatleastanesquire；forIhadhopedthateventhevilestofmyladieswouldnothavedishonoredmyCourtbywantoningwithabasebornservant。
SHAKESPEAR。_[indignantlyscramblingtohisfeet]_Base-born！I，aShakespearofStratford！I，whosemotherwasanArden！baseborn！Youforgetyourself，madam。
ELIZABETH。_[furious]_S’blood！doIso？Iwillteachyou——
THEDARKLADY。_[risingfromherkneesandthrowingherselfbetweenthem]_Will：inGod’snameangerhernofurther。Itisdeath。
Madam：donotlistentohim。
SHAKESPEAR。Notwereiteentosaveyourlife，Mary，nottomentionmineown，willIflatteramonarchwhoforgetswhatisduetomyfamily。Idenynotthatmyfatherwasbroughtdowntobeapoorbankrupt；buttwashisgentlebloodthatwasevertoogenerousfortrade。Neverdidhedisownhisdebts。Tistruehepaidthemnot；butitisanattestedtruththathegavebillsforthem；andtwasthosebills，inthehandsofbasehucksters，thatwerehisundoing。
ELIZABETH。_[grimly]_ThesonofyourfathershalllearnhisplaceinthepresenceofthedaughterofHarrytheEighth。
SHAKESPEAR。_[swellingwithintolerantimportance]_NamenotthatinordinatemaninthesamebreathwithStratford’sworthiestalderman。
JohnShakespearweddedbutonce：HarryTudorwasmarriedsixtimes。
Youshouldblushtoutterhisname。
THEDARKLADY。|Will：forpity’ssake——|_cryingout||together_
ELIZABETH。|Insolentdog——|
SHAKESPEAR。_[cuttingthemshort]_HowknowyouthatKingHarrywasindeedyourfather？
ELIZABETH。|Zounds！Nowby——
|_[shestopstogrindherteethwithrage]。_
|
THEDARKLADY。|Shewillhavemewhippedthrough|thestreets。OhGod！OhGod！
SHAKESPEAR。Learntoknowyourselfbetter，madam。Iamanhonestgentlemanofunquestionedparentage，andhavealreadysentinmydemandforthecoat-of-armsthatislawfullymine。Canyousayasmuchforyourself？
ELIZABETH。_[almostbesideherself]_Anotherword；andIbeginwithmineownhandstheworkthehangmanshallfinish。
SHAKESPEAR。YouarenotrueTudor：thisbaggageherehasasgoodarighttoyourroyalseatasyou。WhatmaintainsyouonthethroneofEngland？Isityourrenownedwit？yourwisdomthatsetsatnaughtthecraftieststatesmenoftheChristianworld？No。Tisthemerechancethatmighthavehappenedtoanymilkmaid，thecapriceofNaturethatmadeyouthemostwondrouspieceofbeautytheagehathseen。
_[Elizabeth’sraisedfists，onthepointofstrikinghim，falltoherside]。_Thatiswhathathbroughtallmentoyourfeet，andfoundedyourthroneontheimpregnablerockofyourproudheart，astonyislandinaseaofdesire。There，madam，issomewholesomeblunthonestspeakingforyou。Nowdoyourworst。
ELIZABETH。_[withdignity]_MasterShakespear：itiswellforyouthatIamamercifulprince。Imakeallowanceforyourrusticignorance。Butrememberthattherearethingswhichbetrue，andareyetnotseemlytobesaid（Iwillnotsaytoaqueen；foryouwillhaveitthatIamnone）buttoavirgin。
SHAKESPEAR。_[bluntly]_Itisnofaultofminethatyouareavirgin，madam，albeittismymisfortune。
THEDARKLADY。_[terrifiedagain]_Inmercy，madam，holdnofurtherdiscoursewithhim。Hehatheversomelewdjestonhistongue。Youhearhowheusethme！callingmebaggageandtheliketoyourMajesty’sface。
ELIZABETH。Asforyou，mistress，Ihaveyettodemandwhatyourbusinessisatthishourinthisplace，andhowyoucometobesoconcernedwithaplayerthatyoustrikeblindlyatyoursovereigninyourjealousyofhim。
THEDARKLADY。Madam：asIliveandhopeforsalvation——
SHAKESPEAR。_[sardonically]_Ha！
THEDARKLADY。_[angrily]_——ay，I’masliketobesavedasthouthatbelievestnaughtsavesomeblackmagicofwordsandverses——I
say，madam，asIamalivingwomanIcameheretobreakwithhimforever。Oh，madam，ifyouwouldknowwhatmiseryis，listentothismanthatismorethanmanandlessatthesametime。Hewilltieyoudowntoanatomizeyourverysoul：hewillwringtearsofbloodfromyourhumiliation；andthenhewillhealthewoundwithflatteriesthatnowomancanresist。
SHAKESPEAR。Flatteries！_[Kneeling]_Oh，madam，Iputmycaseatyourroyalfeet。Iconfesstomuch。Ihavearudetongue：Iamunmannerly：Iblasphemeagainsttheholinessofanointedroyalty；butoh，myroyalmistress，AMIaflatterer？
ELIZABETH。Iabsolveyouastothat。Youarefartooplainadealertopleaseme。_[Herisesgratefully]。_
THEDARKLADY。Madam：heisflatteringyouevenashespeaks。
ELIZABETH。_[aterribleflashinhereye]_Ha！Isitso？
SHAKESPEAR。Madam：sheisjealous；and，heavenhelpme！notwithoutreason。Oh，yousayyouareamercifulprince；butthatwascruelofyou，thathidingofyourroyaldignitywhenyoufoundmehere。ForhowcanIeverbecontentwiththisblack-haired，black-eyed，black-aviseddevilagainnowthatIhavelookeduponrealbeautyandrealmajesty？
THEDARKLADY。_[woundedanddesperate]_HehathsworetometentimesoverthatthedayshallcomeinEnglandwhenblackwomen，foralltheirfoulness，shallbemorethoughtonthanfairones。_[ToShakespear，scoldingathim]_Denyitifthoucanst。Oh，heiscompactofliesandscorns。Iamtiredofbeingtosseduptoheavenanddraggeddowntohellateverywhimthattakeshim。IamashamedtomyverysoulthatIhaveabasedmyselftoloveonethatmyfatherwouldnothavedeemedfittoholdmystirrup——onethatwilltalktoalltheworldaboutme——thatwillputmyloveandmyshameintohisplaysandmakemeblushformyselfthere——thatwillwritesonnetsaboutmethatnomanofgentlestrainwouldputhishandto。Iamalldisordered：IknownotwhatIamsayingtoyourMajesty：Iamofallladiesmostdejectandwretched——
SHAKESPEAR。Ha！Atlastsorrowhathstruckanoteofmusicoutofthee。\"Ofallladiesmostdejectandwretched。\"_[Hemakesanoteofit]。_
THEDARKLADY。Madam：Iimploreyougivemeleavetogo。Iamdistractedwithgriefandshame。I——
ELIZABETH。Go_[TheDarkLadytriestokissherhand]。_Nomore。
Go。_[TheDarkLadygoes，convulsed]。_Youhavebeencrueltothatpoorfondwretch，MasterShakespear。
SHAKESPEAR。Iamnottruel，madam；butyouknowthefableofJupiterandSemele。Icouldnothelpmylightningsscorchingher。
ELIZABETH。Youhaveanoverweeningconceitofyourself，sir，thatdispleasesyourQueen。
SHAKESPEAR。Oh，madam，canIgoaboutwiththemodestcoughofaminorpoet，belittlingmyinspirationandmakingthemightiestwonderofyourreignathingofnought？Ihavesaidthat\"notmarblenorthegildedmonumentsofprincesshalloutlive\"thewordswithwhichImaketheworldgloriousorfoolishatmywill。Besides，Iwouldhaveyouthinkmegreatenoughtograntmeaboon。
ELIZABETH。IhopeitisaboonthatmaybeaskedofavirginQueenwithoutoffence，sir。Imistrustyourforwardness；andIbidyourememberthatIdonotsufferpersonsofyourdegree（ifImaysaysowithoutoffencetoyourfatherthealderman）topresumetoofar。
SHAKESPEAR。Oh，madam，Ishallnotforgetmyselfagain；thoughbymylife，couldImakeyouaservingwench，neitheraqueennoravirginshouldyoubeforsomuchlongerasaflashoflightningmighttaketocrosstherivertotheBankside。Butsinceyouareaqueenandwillnoneofme，norofPhilipofSpain，norofanyothermortalman，I
musteencontainmyselfasbestImay，andaskyouonlyforaboonofState。
ELIZABETH。AboonofStatealready！Youarebecomingacourtierliketherestofthem。Youlackadvancement。
SHAKESPEAR。\"Lackadvancement。\"ByyourMajesty’sleave：aqueenlyphrase。_[Heisabouttowriteitdown]。_
ELIZABETH。_[strikingthetabletsfromhishand]_Yourtablesbegintoangerme，sir。Iamnotheretowriteyourplaysforyou。
SHAKESPEAR。Youareheretoinspirethem，madam。Forthis，amongtherest，wereyouordained。ButtheboonIcraveisthatyoudoendowagreatplayhouse，or，ifImaymakeboldtocoinascholarlynameforit，aNationalTheatre，forthebetterinstructionandgracingofyourMajesty’ssubjects。
ELIZABETH。Why，sir，aretherenottheatresenowontheBanksideandinBlackfriars？
SHAKESPEAR。Madam：thesearetheadventuresofneedyanddesperatementhatmust，tosavethemselvesfromperishingofwant，givethesilliersortofpeoplewhattheybestlike；andwhattheybestlike，Godknows，isnottheirownbettermentandinstruction，aswewellseebytheexampleofthechurches，whichmustneedscompelmentofrequentthem，thoughtheybeopentoallwithoutcharge。Onlywhenthereisamatterofamurder，oraplot，oraprettyyouthinpetticoats，orsomenaughtytaleofwantonness，willyoursubjectspaythegreatcostofgoodplayersandtheirfinery，withalittleprofittoboot。ToprovethisIwilltellyouthatIhavewrittentwonobleandexcellentplayssettingforththeadvancementofwomenofhighnatureandfruitfulindustryevenasyourMajestyis：theoneaskilfulphysician，theotherasisterdevotedtogoodworks。Ihavealsostolefromabookofidlewantontalestwoofthemostdamnablefoolishnessesintheworld，intheoneofwhichawomangoethinman’sattireandmakethimpudentlovetoherswain，whopleaseththegroundlingsbyoverthrowingawrestler；whilst，intheother，oneofthesamekidneyshewethherwitbysayingendlessnaughtinessestoagentlemanaslewdasherself。Ihavewritthesetosavemyfriendsfrompenury，yetshewingmyscornforsuchfolliesandforthemthatpraisethembycallingtheoneAsYouLikeIt，meaningthatitisnotas_I_likeit，andtheotherMuchAdoAboutNothing，asittrulyis。
Andnowthesetwofilthypiecesdrivetheirnoblerfellowsfromthestage，whereindeedIcannothavemyladyphysicianpresentedatall，shebeingtoohonestawomanforthetasteofthetown。WhereforeI
humblybegyourMajestytogiveorderthatatheatrebeendowedoutofthepublicrevenuefortheplayingofthosepiecesofminewhichnomerchantwilltouch，seeingthathisgainissomuchgreaterwiththeworsethanwiththebetter。Therebyyoushallalsoencourageothermentoundertakethewritingofplayswhodonowdespiseitandleaveitwhollytothosewhosecounselswillworklittlegoodtoyourrealm。
Forthiswritingofplaysisagreatmatter，formingasitdoesthemindsandaffectionsofmeninsuchsortthatwhatsoevertheyseedoneinshowonthestage，theywillpresentlybedoinginearnestintheworld，whichisbutalargerstage。Oflate，asyouknow，theChurchtaughtthepeoplebymeansofplays；butthepeopleflockedonlytosuchaswerefullofsuperstitiousmiraclesandbloodymartyrdoms；andsotheChurch，whichalsowasjustthenbroughtintostraitsbythepolicyofyourroyalfather，didabandonanddiscountenancetheartofplaying；andthusitfellintothehandsofpoorplayersandgreedymerchantsthathadtheirpocketstolooktoandnotthegreatnessofthisyourkingdom。ThereforenowmustyourMajestytakeupthatgoodworkthatyourChurchhathabandoned，andrestoretheartofplayingtoitsformeruseanddignity。
ELIZABETH。MasterShakespear：IwillspeakofthismattertotheLordTreasurer。
SHAKESPEAR。ThenamIundone，madam；fortherewasneveryetaLordTreasurerthatcouldfindapennyforanythingoverandabovethenecessaryexpensesofyourgovernment，saveforawarorasalaryforhisownnephew。
ELIZABETH。MasterShakespear：youspeaksooth；yetcannotIinanywisemendit。IdarenotoffendmyunrulyPuritansbymakingsolewdaplaceastheplayhouseapubliccharge；andtherebeathousandthingstobedoneinthisLondonofminebeforeyourpoetrycanhaveitspennyfromthegeneralpurse。Itellthee，MasterWill，itwillbethreehundredyearsandmorebeforemysubjectslearnthatmancannotlivebybreadalone，butbyeverywordthatcomethfromthemouthofthosewhomGodinspires。BythattimeyouandIwillbedustbeneaththefeetofthehorses，ifindeedtherebeanyhorsesthen，andmenbestillridinginsteadofflying。Nowitmaybethatbythenyourworkswillbedustalso。
SHAKESPEAR。Theywillstand，madam：fearnorforthat。
ELIZABETH。Itmayproveso。ButofthisIamcertain（forIknowmycountrymen）thatuntileveryothercountryintheChristianworld，eventobarbarianMuscovyandthehamletsoftheboorishGermans，haveitsplayhouseatthepubliccharge，Englandwillneveradventure。Andshewilladventurethenonlybecauseitisherdesiretobeeverinthefashion，andtodohumblyanddutifullywhatsosheseetheverybodyelsedoing。Inthemeantimeyoumustcontentyourselfasbestyoucanbytheplayingofthosetwopieceswhichyougiveoutasthemostdamnableeverwrit，butwhichyourcountrymen，Iwarnyou，willsweararethebestyouhaveeverdone。ButthisIwillsay，thatifIcouldspeakacrosstheagestoourdescendants，Ishouldheartilyrecommendthemtofulfilyourwish；fortheScottishminstrelhathwellsaidthathethatmakeththesongsofanationismightierthanhethatmakethitslaws；andthesamemaywellbetrueofplaysandinterludes。_[Theclockchimesthefirstquarter。Thewarderreturnsonhisround]。_Andnow，sir，weareuponthehourwhenitbetterbeseemsavirginqueentobeabedthantoconversealonewiththenaughtiestofhersubjects。Hothere！Whokeepswardonthequeen’slodgingstonight？
THEWARDER。Ido，an’tpleaseyourmajesty。
ELIZABETH。Seethatyoukeepitbetterinfuture。Youhaveletpassamostdangerousgallanteventotheverydoorofourroyalchamber。
Leadhimforth；andbringmewordwhenheissafelylockedout；forI
shallscarcedaredisrobeuntilthepalacegatesarebetweenus。
SHAKESPEAR。_[kissingherhand]_Mybodygoesthroughthegateintothedarkness，madam；butmythoughtsfollowyou。
ELIZABETH。How！tomybed！
SHAKESPEAR。No，madam，toyourprayers，inwhichIbegyoutoremembermytheatre。
ELIZABETH。Thatismyprayertoposterity。ForgetnotyourowntoGod；andsogoodnight，MasterWill。
SHAKESPEAR。Goodnight，greatElizabeth。GodsavetheQueen！
ELIZABETH。Amen。
_Exeuntseverally：shetoherchamber：he，incustodyofthewarder，tothegatenearestBlackfriars。_
AYOT，ST。LAWRENCE，_20thJune_1910。