Beforenighttheywereathomeagain:WillieinhighdelightatalittlerattlingpaperwindmillthatMichaelhadboughtforhiminthestreet,andstrivingtoimitatethisnewsoundwithperpetualbuzzings。Michael,too,lookedpleased。Susanknewthelook,althoughafterwardssherememberedthathehadtriedtoveilitfromher,andhadassumedagraveappearanceofsorrowwheneverhecaughthereye。Heputuphishorse;for,althoughhehadthreemilesfurthertogo,themoonwasup——thebonnyharvest-moon——andhedidnotcarehowlatehehadtodriveonsucharoadbysuchalight。
AfterthesupperwhichSusanhadpreparedforthetravellerswasover,Peggywentup-stairstoseeWilliesafeinbed;forhehadtohavethesamecaretakenofhimthatalittlechildoffouryearsoldrequires。
MichaeldrewneartoSusan。
\"Susan,\"saidhe,\"ItookWilltoseeDr。Preston,atKendal。He’sthefirstdoctorinthecounty。Ithoughtitwerebetterforus——foryou——toknowatoncewhatchancetherewereforhim。\"
\"Well!\"saidSusan,lookingeagerlyup。Shesawthesamestrangeglanceofsatisfaction,thesameinstantchangetoapparentregretandpain。\"Whatdidhesay?\"saidshe。\"Speak!can’tyou?\"
\"Hesaidhewouldnevergetbetterofhisweakness。\"
\"Never!\"
\"No;never。It’salongword,andhardtobear。Andthere’sworsetocome,dearest。Thedoctorthinkshewillgetbadderfromyeartoyear。Andhesaid,ifhewasus——you——hewouldsendhimoffintimetoLancasterAsylum。They’vewaystherebothofkeepingsuchpeopleinorderandmakingthemhappy。Ionlytellyouwhathesaid,\"
continuedhe,seeingthegatheringstorminherface。
\"Therewasnoharminhissayingit,\"shereplied,withgreatself-
constraint,forcingherselftospeakcoldlyinsteadofangrily。
\"Folkiswelcometotheiropinions。\"
Theysatsilentforaminuteortwo,herbreastheavingwithsuppressedfeeling。
\"He’scountedaverycleverman,\"saidMichaelatlength。
\"Hemaybe。He’snoneofmyclevermen,noramIgoingtobeguidedbyhim,whateverhemaythink。AndIdon’tthankthemthatwentandtookmypoorladtohavesuchharshnotionsformedabouthim。IfI’dbeenthere,Icouldhavecalledoutthesensethatisinhim。\"
\"Well!I’llnotsaymoreto-night,Susan。You’renottakingitrightly,andI’dbestbegone,andleaveyoutothinkitover。I’llnotdenytheyarehardwordstohear,butthere’ssenseinthem,asI
takeit;andIreckonyou’llhavetocometo’em。Anyhow,it’sabadwayofthankingmeformypains,andIdon’ttakeitwellinyou,Susan,\"saidhe,gettingup,asifoffended。
\"Michael,I’mbesidemyselfwithsorrow。Don’tblamemeifIspeaksharp。Heandmeistheonlyones,yousee。Andmotherdidsochargemetohaveacareofhim!Andthisiswhathe’scometo,poorlilechap!\"Shebegantocry,andMichaeltocomfortherwithcaresses。
\"Don’t,\"saidshe。\"It’snousetryingtomakemeforgetpoorWillieisanatural。Icouldhatemyselfforbeinghappywithyou,evenforjustalittleminute。Goaway,andleavemetofaceitout。\"
\"Andyou’llthinkitover,Susan,andrememberwhatthedoctorsays?\"
\"Ican’tforget,\"saidshe。Shemeantshecouldnotforgetwhatthedoctorhadsaidaboutthehopelessnessofherbrother’scase;MichaelhadreferredtotheplanofsendingWillietoanasylum,ormadhouse,astheywerecalledinthatdayandplace。TheideahadbeengatheringforceinMichael’smindforsometime;hehadtalkeditoverwithhisfather,andsecretlyrejoicedoverthepossessionofthefarmandlandwhichwouldthenbehisinfact,ifnotinlaw,byrightofhiswife。HehadalwaysconsideredthegoodpennyherfathercouldgiveherinhiscatalogueofSusan’scharmsandattractions。ButoflatehehadgrowntoesteemherastheheiressofYewNook。He,too,shouldhavelandlikehisbrother——landtopossess,tocultivate,tomakeprofitfrom,tobequeath。ForsometimehehadwonderedthatSusanhadbeensomuchabsorbedinWillie’spresent,thatshehadneverseemedtolookforwardtohisfuture,state。Michaelhadlongfelttheboytobeatrouble;butoflatehehadabsolutelyloathedhim。Hisgibbering,hisuncouthgestures,hisloose,shamblinggait,allirritatedMichaelinexpressibly。HedidnotcomeneartheYewNookforacoupleofdays。Hethoughtthathewouldleavehertimetobecomeanxioustoseehimandreconciledtohisplan。TheywerestrangelonelydaystoSusan。Theywerethefirstshehadspentfacetofacewiththesorrowsthathadturnedherfromagirlintoawoman;forhithertoMichaelhadneverlettwenty-
fourhourspassbywithoutcomingtoseehersinceshehadhadthefever。Nowthathewasabsent,itseemedasthoughsomecauseofirritationwasremovedfromWill,whowasmuchmoregentleandtractablethanhehadbeenformanyweeks。Susanthoughtthatsheobservedhimmakingeffortsatherbidding,andtherewassomethingpiteousinthewayinwhichhecreptuptoher,andlookedwistfullyinherface,asifaskinghertorestorehimthefacultiesthathefelttobewanting。
\"Ineverwilllettheego,lad。Never!There’snoknowingwheretheywouldtaketheeto,orwhattheywoulddowiththee。AsitsaysintheBible,’Noughtbutdeathshallparttheeandme!’\"
Thecountry-sidewasfull,inthosedays,ofstoriesofthebrutaltreatmentofferedtotheinsane;storiesthatwere,infact,buttoowellfounded,andthetruthofoneofwhichonlywouldhavebeenasufficientreasonforthestrongprejudiceexistingagainstallsuchplaces。EachsucceedinghourthatSusanpassed,alone,orwiththepooraffectionateladforhersolecompanion,servedtodeepenhersolemnresolutionnevertopartwithhim。So,whenMichaelcame,hewasannoyedandsurprisedbythecalmwayinwhichshespoke,asiffollowingDr。Preston’sadvicewasutterlyandentirelyoutofthequestion。Hehadexpectednothinglessthanaconsent,reluctantitmightbe,butstillaconsent;andhewasextremelyirritated。Hecouldhaverepressedhisanger,buthechoserathertogivewaytoit;thinkingthathecouldthusbestworkuponSusan’saffection,soastogainhispoint。But,somehow,heover-reachedhimself;andnowhewasastonishedinhisturnatthepassionofindignationthatsheburstinto。
\"Thouwiltnotbideinthesamehousewithhim,say’stthou?There’snoneedforthybiding,asfarasIcantell。There’ssolemnreasonwhyIshouldbidewithmyownfleshandbloodandkeeptothewordI
pledgedmymotheronherdeath-bed;but,asforthee,there’snotiethatIknowontokeeptheefro’goingtoAmericaorBotanyBaythisverynight,ifthatwerethyinclination。Iwillhavenomoreofyourthreatstomakemesendmybairnaway。Ifthoumarryme,thou’lthelpmetotakechargeofWillie。Ifthoudoesn’tchoosetomarrymeonthoseterms——why,Icansnapmyfingersatthee,neverfear。I’mnotsofargoneinloveasthat。ButIwillnothavethee,ifthousay’stinsuchahectoringwaythatWilliemustgooutofthehouse——andthehousehisowntoo——beforethoul’tsetfootinit。Williebideshere,andIbidewithhim。\"
\"Thouhastmay-bespokenawordtoomuch,\"saidMichael,palewithrage。\"IfIamfree,asthousay’st,togotoCanada,orBotanyBay,IreckonI’mfreetolivewhereIlike,andthatwillnotbewithanaturalwhomayturnintoamadmansomeday,foraughtIknow。
Choosebetweenhimandme,Susy,forIsweartothee,thoushan’thaveboth。\"
\"Ihavechosen,\"saidSusan,nowperfectlycomposedandstill。
\"Whatevercomesofit,IbidewithWillie。\"
\"Verywell,\"repliedMichael,tryingtoassumeanequalcomposureofmanner。\"ThenI’llwishyouaverygoodnight。\"Hewentoutofthehousedoor,half-expectingtobecalledbackagain;but,instead,heheardahastystepinside,andaboltdrawn。
\"Whew!\"saidhetohimself,\"IthinkImustleavemyladyaloneforaweekortwo,andgivehertimetocometohersenses。She’llnotfinditsoeasyasshethinkstoletmego。\"
Sohewentpastthekitchen-windowinnonchalantstyle,andwasnotseenagainatYewNookforsomeweeks。Howdidhepassthetime?
Forthefirstdayortwo,hewasunusuallycrosswithallthingsandpeoplethatcameathwarthim。Thenwheat-harvestbegan,andhewasbusy,andexultantabouthisheavycrop。Thenamancamefromadistancetobidfortheleaseofhisfarm,which,byhisfather’sadvice,hadbeenofferedforsale,ashehimselfwassosoonlikelytoremovetotheYewNook。HehadsolittleideathatSusanreallywouldremainfirmtoherdetermination,thatheatoncebegantohagglewiththemanwhocameafterhisfarm,showedhimthecropjustgotin,andmanagedskilfullyenoughtomakeagoodbargainforhimself。Ofcourse,thebargainhadtobesealedatthepublic-
house;andthecompanionshemetwiththeresoonbecamefriendsenoughtotempthimintoLangdale,whereagainhemetwithEleanorHebthwaite。
HowdidSusanpassthetime?Forthefirstdayorso,shewastooangryandoffendedtocry。Shewentaboutherhouseholddutiesinaquick,sharp,jerking,yetabsentway;shrinkingonemomentfromWill,overwhelminghimwithremorsefulcaressesthenext。ThethirddayofMichael’sabsence,shehadthereliefofagoodfitofcrying;
andafterthat,shegrewsofterandmoretender;shefelthowharshlyshehadspokentohim,andrememberedhowangryshehadbeen。Shemadeexcusesforhim。\"Itwasnowonder,\"shesaidtoherself,\"thathehadbeenvexedwithher;andnowonderhewouldnotgivein,whenshehadnevertriedtospeakgentlyortoreasonwithhim。Shewastoblame,andshewouldtellhimso,andtellhimonceagainallthathermotherhadbadehertobetoWillie,andallthehorriblestoriesshehadheardaboutmadhouses,andhewouldbeonhersideatonce。\"
Andsoshewatchedforhiscoming,intendingtoapologiseassoonasevershesawhim。Shehurriedoverherhouseholdwork,inordertositquietlyathersewing,andhearthefirstdistantsoundofhiswell-knownsteporwhistle。Buteventhesoundofherflyingneedleseemedtooloud——perhapsshewaslosinganexquisiteinstantofanticipation;soshestoppedsewing,andlookedlonginglyoutthroughthegeraniumleaves,inorderthathereyemightcatchthefirststirofthebranchesinthewood-pathbywhichhegenerallycame。Nowandthenabirdmightspringoutofthecovert;otherwisetheleaveswereheavilystillinthesultryweatherofearlyautumn。Thenshewouldtakeuphersewing,and,withaspasmofresolution,shewoulddeterminethatacertaintaskshouldbefulfilledbeforeshewouldagainallowherselfthepoignantluxuryofexpectation。Sickatheartwasshewhentheeveningclosedin,andthechancesofthatdaydiminished。Yetshestayeduplongerthanusual,thinkingthatifhewerecoming——ifhewereonlypassingalongthedistantroad——thesightofalightinthewindowmightencouragehimtomakehisappearanceevenatthatlatehour,whileseeingthehousealldarkenedandshutupmightquenchanysuchintention。
Verysickandwearyatheart,shewenttobed;toodesolateanddespairingtocry,ormakeanymoan。Butinthemorninghopecameafresh。Anotherday——anotherchance!Andsoitwentonforweeks。
Peggyunderstoodheryoungmistress’ssorrowfullwell,andrespecteditbyhersilenceonthesubject。WillieseemedhappiernowthattheirritationofMichael’spresencewasremoved;forthepooridiothadasortofantipathytoMichael,whichwasakindofheart’sechototherepugnanceinwhichthelatterheldhim。Altogether,justatthistime,Williewasthehappiestofthethree。
AsSusanwentintoConiston,tosellherbutter,oneSaturday,someinconsideratepersontoldherthatshehadseenMichaelHurstthenightbefore。Isaidinconsiderate,butImightratherhavesaidunobservant;foranyonewhohadspenthalf-an-hourinSusanDixon’scompanymighthaveseenthatshedislikedhavinganyreferencemadetothesubjectsnearestherheart,weretheyjoyousorgrievous。Nowshewentalittlepalerthanusual(andshehadneverrecoveredhercoloursinceshehadhadthefever),andtriedtokeepsilence。Butanirrepressiblepangforcedoutthequestion-
\"Where?\"
\"AtThomasApplethwaite’s,inLangdale。Theyhadakindofharvest-
home,andhewerethereamongtheyoungfolk,andverythickwi’
NellyHebthwaite,oldThomas’sniece。Thou’lthavetolookafterhimabit,Susan!\"
Sheneithersmilednorsighed。Theneighbourwhohadbeenspeakingtoherwasstruckwiththegraystillnessofherface。Susanherselffelthowwellherself-commandwasobeyedbyeverylittlemuscle,andsaidtoherselfinherSpartanmanner,\"Icanbearitwithouteitherwincingorblenching。\"Shewenthomeearly,atatearing,passionatepace,tramplingandbreakingthroughallobstaclesofbriarorbush。
Williewasmopinginherabsence——hanginglistlesslyonthefarm-yardgatetowatchforher。Whenhesawher,hesetuponeofhisstrange,inarticulatecries,ofwhichshewasnowlearningthemeaning,andcametowardsherwithhisloose,gallopingrun,headandlimbsallshakingandwaggingwithpleasantexcitement。Suddenlysheturnedfromhim,andburstintotears。Shesatdownonastonebythewayside,notahundredyardsfromhome,andburiedherfaceinherhands,andgavewaytoapassionofpent-upsorrow;soterribleandfullofagonywereherlowcries,thattheidiotstoodbyher,aghastandsilent。Allhisjoygoneforthetime,butnot,likeherjoy,turnedintoashes。Somethoughtstruckhim。Yes!thesightofherwoemadehimthink,greatastheexertionwas。Heran,andstumbled,andshambledhome,buzzingwithhislipsallthetime。Shenevermissedhim。Hecamebackinatrice,bringingwithhimhischerishedpaperwindmill,boughtonthatfataldaywhenMichaelhadtakenhimintoKendaltohavehisdoomofperpetualidiocypronounced。HethrustitintoSusan’sface,herhands,herlap,regardlessoftheinjuryhisfrailplaythingtherebyreceived。Heleaptbeforehertothinkhowhehadcuredallheart-sorrow,buzzinglouderthanever。Susanlookedupathim,andthatglanceofhersadeyessoberedhim。Hebegantowhimper,heknewnotwhy:andshenow,comforterinherturn,triedtosoothehimbytwirlinghiswindmill。Butitwasbroken;itmadenonoise;itwouldnotgoround。ThisseemedtoafflictSusanmorethanhim。Shetriedtomakeitright,althoughshesawthetaskwashopeless;andwhileshedidso,thetearsraineddownunheededfromherbentheadonthepapertoy。
\"Itwon’tdo,\"saidshe,atlast。\"Itwillneverdoagain。\"And,somehow,shetooktheaccidentandherwordsasomensofthelovethatwasbroken,andthatshefearedcouldneverbepiecedtogethermore。SheroseupandtookWillie’shand,andthetwowentslowlyintothehouse。
Tohersurprise,MichaelHurstsatinthehouse-place。House-placeisasortofbetterkitchen,wherenocookeryisdone,butwhichisreservedforstateoccasions。Michaelhadgoneintherebecausehewasaccompaniedbyhisonlysister,awomanolderthanhimself,whowaswellmarriedbeyondKeswick,andwhonowcameforthefirsttimetomakeacquaintancewithSusan。MichaelhadprimedhissisterwithhiswishesregardingWill,andthepositioninwhichhestoodwithSusan;andarrivingatYewNookintheabsenceofthelatter,hehadnotscrupledtoconducthissisterintotheguest-room,asheheldMrs。Gale’sworldlypositioninrespectandadmiration,andthereforewishedhertobefavourablyimpressedwithallthesignsofpropertywhichhewasbeginningtoconsiderasSusan’sgreatestcharms。Hehadsecretlysaidtohimself,thatifEleanorHebthwaiteandSusanDixonwereequalinpointofriches,hewouldsoonerhaveEleanorbyfar。HehadbeguntoconsiderSusanasatermagant;andwhenhethoughtofhisintercoursewithher,recollectionsofhersomewhatwarmandhastytempercamefarmorereadilytohismindthananyremembranceofhergenerous,lovingnature。
Andnowshestoodfacetofacewithhim;hereyestear-swollen,hergarmentsdusty,andhereandtheretorninconsequenceofherrapidprogressthroughthebushyby-paths。Shedidnotmakeafavourableimpressiononthewell-cladMrs。Gale,dressedinherbestsilkgown,andthereforeunusuallysusceptibletotheappearanceofanother。
NorwereSusan’smannersgraciousorcordial。Howcouldtheybe,whensherememberedwhathadpassedbetweenMichaelandherselfthelasttimetheymet?Forherpenitencehadfadedawayunderthedailydisappointmentoftheselastwearyweeks。
Butshewashospitableinsubstance。ShebadePeggyhurryonthekettle,andbusiedherselfamongthetea-cups,thankfulthatthepresenceofMrs。Gale,asastranger,wouldpreventtheimmediaterecurrencetotheonesubjectwhichshefeltmustbepresentinMichael’smindaswellasinherown。ButMrs。Galewaswithheldbynosuchfeelingsofdelicacy。Shehadcomeready-primedwiththecase,andhadundertakentobringthegirltoreason。Therewasnotimetobelost。Ithadbeenprearrangedbetweenthebrotherandsisterthathewastostrolloutintothefarm-yardbeforehissisterintroducedthesubject;butshewassoconfidentinthesuccessofherarguments,thatshemustneedshavethetriumphofavictoryassoonaspossible;and,accordingly,shebroughtahail-stormofgoodreasonstobearuponSusan。Susandidnotreplyforalongtime;shewassoindignantatthisintermeddlingofastrangerinthedeepfamilysorrowandshame。Mrs。Galethoughtshewasgainingtheday,andurgedherargumentsmorepitilessly。EvenMichaelwincedforSusan,andwonderedathersilence。Heshrankoutofsight,andintotheshadow,hopingthathissistermightprevail,butannoyedatthehardwayinwhichshekeptputtingthecase。
SuddenlySusanturnedroundfromtheoccupationshehadpretendedtobeengagedin,andsaidtohiminalowvoice,whichyetnotonlyvibrateditself,butmadeitshearersthrillthroughalltheirobtuseness:
\"MichaelHurst!doesyoursisterspeaktruth,thinkyou?\"
Bothwomenlookedathimforhisanswer;Mrs。Galewithoutanxiety,forhadshenotsaidtheverywordstheyhadspokentogetherbefore?
hadshenotusedtheveryargumentsthathehimselfhadsuggested?
Susan,onthecontrary,lookedtohisanswerassettlingherdoomforlife;andinthegloomofhereyesyoumighthavereadmoredespairthanhope。
Heshuffledhisposition。Heshuffledinhiswords。
\"Whatisityouask?Mysisterhassaidmanythings。\"
\"Iaskyou,\"saidSusan,tryingtogiveacrystalclearnessbothtoherexpressionsandherpronunciation,\"if,knowingasyoudohowWillisafflicted,youwillhelpmetotakethatchargeofhimwhichIpromisedmymotheronherdeath-bedthatIwoulddo;andwhichmeans,thatIshallkeephimalwayswithme,anddoallinmypowertomakehislifehappy。Ifyouwilldothis,Iwillbeyourwife;ifnot,Iremainunwed。\"
\"Buthemaygetdangerous;hecanbebutatrouble;hisbeinghereisapaintoyou,Susan,notapleasure。\"
\"Iaskyouforeitheryesorno,\"saidshe,alittlecontemptathisevadingherquestionminglingwithhertone。Heperceivedit,anditnettledhim。
\"AndIhavetoldyou。IansweredyourquestionthelasttimeIwashere。IsaidIwouldne’erkeephousewithanidiot;nomoreIwill。
Sonowyou’vegottenyouranswer。\"
\"Ihave,\"saidSusan。Andshesigheddeeply。
\"Come,now,\"saidMrs。Gale,encouragedbythesigh;\"onewouldthinkyoudon’tloveMichael,Susan,tobesostubborninyieldingtowhatI’msurewouldbebestforthelad。\"
\"Oh!shedoesnotcareforme,\"saidMichael。\"Idon’tbelievesheeverdid。\"
\"Don’tI?Haven’tI?\"askedSusan,hereyesblazingoutfire。Shelefttheroomdirectly,andsentPeggyintomakethetea;andcatchingatWill,whowasloungingaboutinthekitchen,shewentup-
stairswithhimandboltedherselfin,strainingtheboytoherheart,andkeepingalmostbreathless,lestanynoiseshemademightcausehimtobreakoutintothehowlsandsoundswhichshecouldnotbearthatthosebelowshouldhear。
Aknockatthedoor。ItwasPeggy。
\"Hewantsfortoseeyou,towishyougood-bye。\"
\"Icannotcome。Oh,Peggy,sendthemaway。\"
Itwasheronlycryforsympathy;andtheoldservantunderstoodit。
Shesentthemaway,somehow;notpolitely,asIhavebeengiventounderstand。
\"Goodgowiththem,\"saidPeggy,asshegrimlywatchedtheirretreatingfigures。\"We’reridofbadrubbish,anyhow。\"Andsheturnedintothehouse,withtheintentionofmakingreadysomerefreshmentforSusan,afterherharddayatthemarket,andherharderevening。Butinthekitchen,towhichshepassedthroughtheemptyhouse-place,makingafaceofcontemptuousdislikeattheusedtea-cupsandfragmentsofamealyetstandingthere,shefoundSusan,withhersleevestuckedupandherworkingapronon,busiedinpreparingtomakeclap-bread,oneofthehardestandhottestdomestictasksofaDaleswoman。Shelookedup,andfirstmet,andthenavoidedPeggy’seye;itwastoofullofsympathy。Herowncheekswereflushed,andherowneyesweredryandburning。
\"Where’stheboard,Peggy?Weneedclap-bread;and,Ireckon,I’vetimetogetthroughwithitto-night。\"Hervoicehadasharp,drytoneinit,andhermotionsajerkingangularityaboutthem。
Peggysaidnothing,butfetchedherallthatsheneeded。Susanbeathercakesthinwithvehementforce。Asshestoopedoverthem,regardlessevenofthetaskinwhichsheseemedsomuchoccupied,shewassurprisedbyatouchonhermouthofsomething——whatshedidnotseeatfirst。Itwasacupoftea,delicatelysweetenedandcooled,andheldtoherlips,whenexactlyready,bythefaithfuloldwoman。
Susanhelditoffahand’sbreath,andlookedintoPeggy’seyes,whileherownfilledwiththestrangereliefoftears。
\"Lass!\"saidPeggy,solemnly,\"thouhastdonewell。Itisnotlongtobide,andthentheendwillcome。\"
\"Butyouareveryold,Peggy,\"saidSusan,quivering。
\"Itisbutadaysin’Iwereyoung,\"repliedPeggy;butshestoppedtheconversationbyagainpushingthecupwithgentleforcetoSusan’sdryandthirstylips。Whenshehaddrunkenshefellagaintoherlabour,Peggyheatingthehearth,anddoingallthatsheknewwouldberequired,butneverspeakinganotherword。Williebaskedclosetothefire,enjoyingtheanimalluxuryofwarmth,fortheautumneveningswerebeginningtobechilly。Itwasoneo’clockbeforetheythoughtofgoingtobedonthatmemorablenight。
CHAPTERIV。
ThevehemencewithwhichSusanDixonthrewherselfintooccupationcouldnotlastforever。Timesoflanguorandremembrancewouldcome——timeswhensherecurredwithapassionateyearningtobygonedays,therecollectionofwhichwassovividanddelicious,thatitseemedasthoughitwerethereality,andthepresentbleakbarenessthedream。Shesmiledanewatthemagicalsweetnessofsometouchortonewhichinmemoryshefeltandheard,anddrankthedeliciouscupofpoison,althoughattheverytimesheknewwhattheconsequencesofrackingpainwouldbe。
\"Thistime,lastyear,\"thoughtshe,\"wewentnuttingtogether——thisverydaylastyear;justsuchadayasto-day。Purpleandgoldwerethelightsonthehills;theleaveswerejustturningbrown;hereandthereonthesunnyslopesthestubble-fieldslookedtawny;downinacleftofyonpurpleslate-rockthebeckfelllikeasilverglancingthread;alljustasitisto-day。Andheclimbedtheslender,swayingnut-trees,andbentthebranchesformetogather;ormadeapassagethroughthehazelcopses,fromtimetotimeclaimingatoll。
Whocouldhavethoughthelovedmesolittle?——who?——who?\"
Or,astheeveningclosedin,shewouldallowherselftoimaginethatsheheardhiscomingstep,justthatshemightrecalltimefeelingofexquisitedelightwhichhadpassedbywithoutthedueandpassionaterelishatthetime。Thenshewouldwonderhowshecouldhavehadstrength,thecruel,self-piercingstrength,tosaywhatshehaddone;tostabhimselfwiththatsternresolution,ofwhichthesearwouldremaintillherdyingday。Itmighthavebeenright;but,asshesickened,shewishedshehadnotinstinctivelychosentheright。
Howluxuriousalifehauntedbynosternsenseofdutymustbe!Andmanyledthiskindoflife;whycouldnotshe?O,foronehouragainofhissweetcompany!Ifhecamenow,shewouldagreetowhateverheproposed。
Itwasafeverofthemind。Shepassedthroughit,andcameouthealthy,ifweak。Shewascapableoncemoreoftakingpleasureinfollowinganunseenguidethroughbriarandbrake。ShereturnedwithtenfoldaffectiontoherprotectingcareofWillie。Sheacknowledgedtoherselfthathewastoheherall-in-allinlife。Shemadehimherconstantcompanion。Forhissake,astherealownerofYewNook,andsheashisstewardandguardian,shebeganthatcourseofcarefulsaving,andthatloveofacquisition,whichafterwardsgainedforherthereputationofbeingmiserly。Shestillthoughtthathemightregainascantyportionofsense——enoughtorequiresomesimplepleasuresandexcitement,whichwouldcostmoney。Andmoneyshouldnotbewanting。Peggyratherassistedherintheformationofherparsimonioushabitsthanotherwise;economywastheorderofthedistrict,andacertaindegreeofrespectableavaricethecharacteristicofherage。OnlyWilliewasneverstintednorhinderedofanythingthatthetwowomenthoughtcouldgivehimpleasure,forwantofmoney。
TherewasonegratificationwhichSusanfeltwasneededfortherestorationofhermindtoitsmorehealthystate,aftershehadpassedthroughthewhirlingfever,whendutywasasnothing,andanarchyreigned;agratificationthat,somehow,wastobeherlastburstofunreasonableness;ofwhichsheknewandrecognisedpainasthesureconsequence。Shemustseehimoncemore,——herselfunseen。
TheweekbeforetheChristmasofthismemorableyear,shewentoutintheduskoftheearlywinterevening,wrappedcloseinshawlandcloak。Sheworeherdarkshawlunderhercloak,puttingitoverherheadinlieuofabonnet;forsheknewthatshemighthavetowaitlonginconcealment。Thenshetrampedoverthewetfell-path,shutinbymistyrainformilesandmiles,tillshecametotheplacewherehewaslodging;afarm-houseinLangdale,withasteep,stonylaneleadinguptoit:thislanewasenteredbyagateoutofthemainroad,andbythegatewereafewbushes——thorns;butofthemtheleaveshadfallen,andtheyofferednoconcealment:anoldwreckofayew-treegrewamongthem,however,andunderneaththatSusancowereddown,shroudingherface,ofwhichthecolourmightbetrayher,withacornerofhershawl。Longdidshewait;coldandcrampedshebecame,toodampandstifftochangeherposturereadily。Andafterall,hemightnevercome!But,shewouldwaittilldaylight,ifneedwere;andshepulledoutacrust,withwhichshehadprovidentlysuppliedherself。Therainhadceased,——adull,still,broodingweatherhadsucceeded;itwasanighttoheardistantsounds。Sheheardhorses’hoofsstrikingandsplashinginthestones,andinthepoolsoftheroadatherback。Twohorses;notwell-ridden,orevenlyguided,asshecouldtell。
MichaelHurstandacompaniondrewnear:nottipsy,butnotsober。
Theystoppedatthegatetobideachotheramaudlinfarewell。
Michaelstoopedforwardtocatchthelatchwiththehookofthestickwhichhecarried;hedroppedthestick,anditfellwithoneendclosetoSusan,——indeed,withtheslightestchangeofpostureshecouldhaveopenedthegateforhim。Hesworeagreatoath,andstruckhishorsewithhisclosedfist,asifthatanimalhadbeentoblame;thenhedismounted,openedthegate,andfumbledaboutforhisstick。Whenhehadfoundit(Susanhadtouchedtheotherend)hisfirstuseofitwastofloghishorsewell,andshehadmuchadotoavoiditskicksandplunges。Then,stillswearing,hestaggeredupthelane,foritwasevidenthewasnotsoberenoughtoremount。
BydaylightSusanwasbackandatherdailylaboursatYewNook。
Whenthespringcame,MichaelHurstwasmarriedtoEleanorHebthwaite。Others,too,weremarried,andchristeningsmadetheirfiresidesmerryandglad;ortheytravelled,andcamebackafterlongyearswithmanywondroustales。Morerarely,perhaps,aDalesmanchangedhisdwelling。ButtoallhouseholdsmorechangecamethantoYewNook。Theretheseasonscameroundwithmonotonoussameness;or,iftheybroughtmutation,itwasofaslow,anddecaying,anddepressingkind。OldPeggydied。Hersilentsympathy,concealedundermuchroughness,wasalosstoSusanDixon。Susanwasnotyetthirtywhenthishappened,butshelookedamiddle-aged,nottosayanelderlywoman。Peopleaffirmedthatshehadneverrecoveredhercomplexionsincethatfever,adozenyearsago,whichkilledherfather,andleftWillDixonanidiot。Butbesideshergraysallowness,thelinesinherfacewerestrong,anddeep,andhard。
Themovementsofhereyeballswereslowandheavy;thewrinklesatthecornersofhermouthandeyeswereplantedfirmandsure;notanounceofunnecessaryfleshwasthereonherbones——everymusclestartedstrongandreadyforuse。Sheneededallthisbodilystrength,toadegreethatnohumancreature,nowPeggywasdead,knewof:forWilliehadgrownuplargeandstronginbody,and,ingeneral,docileenoughinmind;but,everynowandthen,hebecamefirstmoody,andthenviolent。Theseparoxysmslastedbutadayortwo;anditwasSusan’sanxiouscaretokeeptheirveryexistencehiddenandunknown。Itistrue,thatoccasionalpassers-byonthatlonelyroadheardsoundsatnightofknockingaboutoffurniture,blows,andcries,asofsometearingdemonwithinthesolitaryfarm-
house;butthesefitsofviolenceusuallyoccurredinthenight;andwhateverhadbeentheirconsequence,Susanhadtidiedandreddedupallsignsofaughtunusualbeforethemorning。For,aboveall,shedreadedlestsomeonemightfindoutinwhatdangerandperilsheoccasionallywas,andmightassumearighttotakeawayherbrotherfromhercare。Theoneideaoftakingchargeofhimhaddeepenedanddeepenedwithyears。Itwasgravenintohermindastheobjectforwhichshelived。Thesacrificeshehadmadeforthisobjectonlymadeitmoreprecioustoher。Besides,sheseparatedtheideaofthedocile,affectionate,loutish,indolentWill,andkeptitdistinctfromtheterrorwhichthedemonthatoccasionallypossessedhiminspiredherwith。Theonewasherfleshandherblood——thechildofherdeadmother;theotherwassomefiendwhocametotortureandconvulsethecreatureshesoloved。Shebelievedthatshefoughtherbrother’sbattleinholdingdownthosetearinghands,inbindingwhenevershecouldthoseupliftedrestlessarmspromptandpronetodomischief。Allthetimeshesubduedhimwithhercunningorherstrength,shespoketohiminpityingmurmurs,orabusedthethirdperson,thefiendishenemy,innounmeasuredtones。Towardsmorningtheparoxysmwasexhausted,andhewouldfallasleep,perhapsonlytowakenwithevilandrenewedvigour。Butwhenhewaslaiddown,shewouldsallyouttotastethefreshair,andtoworkoffherwildsorrowincriesandmutteringstoherself。Theearlylabourerssawhergesturesatadistance,andthoughtherascrazedastheidiot-
brotherwhomadetheneighbourhoodahauntedplace。ButdidanychancepersoncallatYewNooklateronintheday,hewouldfindSusanDixoncold,calm,collected;hermannercurt,herwitskeen。
Oncethisfitofviolencelastedlongerthanusual。Susan’sstrengthbothofmindandbodywasnearlywornout;shewrestledinprayerthatsomehowitmightendbeforeshe,too,wasdrivenmad;or,worse,mightbeobligedtogiveuplife’saim,andconsignWillietoamadhouse。Fromthatmomentofprayer(assheafterwardssuperstitiouslythought)Williecalmed——andthenhedrooped——andthenhesank——and,lastofall,hediedinrealityfromphysicalexhaustion。
Buthewassogentleandtenderashelayonhisdyingbed;suchstrange,child-likegleamsofreturningintelligencecameoverhisface,longafterthepowertomakehisdull,inarticulatesoundshaddeparted,thatSusanwasattractedtohimbyastrongertiethanshehadeverfeltbefore。Itwassomethingtohaveevenanidiotlovingherwithdumb,wistful,animalaffection;somethingtohaveanycreaturelookingatherwithsuchbeseechingeyes,imploringprotectionfromtheinsidiousenemystealingon。Andyetsheknewthattohimdeathwasnoenemy,butatruefriend,restoringlightandhealthtohispoorcloudedmind。Itwastoherthatdeathwasanenemy;toher,thesurvivor,whenWilliedied;therewasnoonetoloveher。
Worsedoomstill,therewasnooneleftonearthforhertolove。
Younowknowwhynowanderingtouristcouldpersuadehertoreceivehimasalodger;whynotiredtravellercouldmeltherhearttoaffordhimrestandrefreshment;whylonghabitsofseclusionhadgivenheramorosenessofmanner,andhowcarefortheinterestsofanotherhadrenderedherkeenandmiserly。
Buttherewasathirdactinthedramaofherlife。
CHAPTERV。
InspiteofPeggy’sprophecythatSusan’slifeshouldnotseemlong,itdidseemwearisomeandendless,astheyearsslowlyuncoiledtheirmonotonouscircles。Tobesure,shemighthavemadechangeforherself,butshedidnotcaretodoit。Itwas,indeed,morethan\"notcaring,\"whichmerelyimpliesacertaindegreeofvisinertiaetobesubduedbeforeanobjectcanbeattained,andthattheobjectitselfdoesnotseemtobeofsufficientimportancetocallouttherequisiteenergy。Onthecontrary,Susanexertedherselftoavoidchangeandvariety。Shehadamorbiddreadofnewfaces,whichoriginatedinherdesiretokeeppoordeadWillie’sstateaprofoundsecret。Shehadacontemptfornewcustoms;and,indeed,heroldwaysprosperedsowellunderheractivehandandvigilanteye,thatitwasdifficulttoknowhowtheycouldbeimprovedupon。ShewasregularlypresentinConistonmarketwiththebestbutterandtheearliestchickensoftheseason。Thosewerethecommonfarmproducethateveryfarmer’swifeabouthadtosell;butSusan,aftershehaddisposedofthemorefemininearticles,turnedtoontheman’sside。
Abetterjudgeofahorseorcowtherewasnotinallthecountryround。Yorkshireitselfmighthaveattemptedtojockeyher,andwouldhavefailed。Hercornwassoundandclean;herpotatoeswellpreservedtothelatestspring。PeoplebegantotalkofthehoardsofmoneySusanDixonmusthavelaidupsomewhere;andoneyoungne’er-do-weelofafarmer’ssonundertooktomakelovetothewomanofforty,wholookedfifty-five,ifaday。Hemadeuptoherbyopeningagateontheroad-pathhome,asshewasridingonabare-
backedhorse,herpurchasenotanhourago。Shewasoffbeforehim,refusinghiscivility;buttheremountingwasnotsoeasy,andratherthanfailshedidnotchoosetoattemptit。Shewalked,andhewalkedalongside,improvinghisopportunity,which,ashevainlythought,hadbeenconsciouslygrantedtohim。AstheydrewnearYewNook,heventuredonsomeexpressionofawishtokeepcompanywithher。Hiswordswerevagueandclumsilyarranged。Susanturnedroundandcoollyaskedhimtoexplainhimself,hetookcourage,ashethoughtofherreputedwealth,andexpressedhiswishesthissecondtimeprettyplainly。Tohissurprise,thereplyshemadewasinaseriesofsmartstrokesacrosshisshoulders,administeredthroughthemediumofasupplehazel-switch。
\"Takethat!\"saidshe,almostbreathless,\"toteachtheehowthoudarestmakeafoolofanhonestwomanoldenoughtobethymother。
Ifthoucom’stastepnearerthehouse,there’sagoodhorse-pool,andthere’stwostoutfellowswho’lllikenobetterfunthanduckingthee。Beoffwi’thee!\"
Andshestrodeintoherownpremises,neverlookingroundtoseewhetherheobeyedherinjunctionornot。
SometimesthreeorfouryearswouldpassoverwithoutherhearingMichaelHurst’snamementioned。Sheusedtowonderatsuchtimeswhetherheweredeadoralive。Shewouldsitforhoursbythedyingembersofherfireonawinter’sevening,tryingtorecallthescenesofheryouth;tryingtobringuplivingpicturesofthefacesshehadthenknown——Michael’smostespecially。Shethoughtitwaspossible,solonghadbeenthelapseofyears,thatshemightnowpassbyhiminthestreetunknowingandunknown。Hisoutwardformshemightnotrecognize,buthimselfsheshouldfeelinthethrillofherwholebeing。Hecouldnotpassherunawares。
Whatlittleshedidhearabouthim,alltestifiedadownwardtendency。Hedrank——notatstatedtimeswhentherewasnootherworktobedone,butcontinually,whetheritwasseed-timeorharvest。
Hischildrenwereallillatthesametime;thenonedied,whiletheothersrecovered,butwerepoorsicklythings。NoonedaredtogiveSusananydirectintelligenceofherformerlover;manyavoidedallmentionofhisnameinherpresence;butafewspokeouteitherinindifferenceto,orignoranceof,thosebygonedays。Susanheardeveryword,everywhisper,everysoundthatrelatedtohim。Buthereyeneverchanged,nordidamuscleofherfacemove。
LateoneNovembernightshesatoverherfire;notahumanbeingbesidesherselfinthehouse;nonebutshehadeverslepttheresinceWillie’sdeath。Thefarm-labourershadfodderedthecattleandgonehomehoursbefore。Therewerecricketschirpingallroundthewarmhearth-stones;therewastheclocktickingwiththepeculiarbeatSusanhadknownfromherchildhood,andwhichthenandeversinceshehadoddlyassociatedwithintheideaofamotherandchildtalkingtogether,oneloudtick,andquick——afeeble,sharponefollowing。
Thedayhadbeenkeen,andpiercinglycold。Thewholeliftofheavenseemedadomeofiron。Blackandfrost-boundwastheearthunderthecrueleastwind。Nowthewindhaddropped,andasthedarknesshadgatheredin,theweather-wiseoldlabourersprophesiedsnow。Thesoundsintheairaroseagain,asSusansatstillandsilent。Theywereofadifferentcharactertowhattheyhadbeenduringtheprevalenceoftheeastwind。Thentheyhadbeenshrillandpiping;
nowtheywerelikelowdistantgrowling;notunmusical,butstrangelythreatening。Susanwenttothewindow,anddrewasidethelittlecurtain。Thewholeworldwaswhite——theairwasblindedwiththeswiftandheavyfallofsnow。Atpresentitcamedownstraight,butSusanknewthosedistantsoundsinthehollowsandgulleysofthehillsportendedadrivingwindandamorecruelstorm。Shethoughtofhersheep;weretheyallfolded?thenew-borncalf,wasitbeddedwell?Beforethedriftswereformedtoodeepforhertopassinandout——andbythemorningshejudgedthattheywouldbesixorsevenfeetdeep——shewouldgooutandseeafterthecomfortofherbeasts。
Shetookalantern,andtiedashawloverherhead,andwentoutintotheopenair。Shehadtenderlyprovidedforallheranimals,andwasreturning,when,borneontheblastasifsomespirit-cry——foritseemedtocomeratherdownfromtheskiesthanfromanycreaturestandingonearth’slevel——sheheardavoiceofagony;shecouldnotdistinguishwords;itseemedratherasifsomebirdofpreywasbeingcaughtinthewhirloftheicywind,andtornandtorturedbyitsviolence。Againuphighabove!Susanputdownherlantern,andshoutedloudinreturn;itwasaninstinct,forifthecreaturewerenothuman,whichshehaddoubtedbutamomentbefore,whatgoodcouldherrespondingcrydo?Andhercrywasseizedonbythetyrannouswind,andbornefartherawayintheoppositedirectiontothatfromwhichthecallofagonyhadproceeded。Againshelistened;nosound:
thenagainitrangthroughspace;andthistimeshewassureitwashuman。Sheturnedintothehouse,andheapedturfandwoodonthefire,which,carelessofherownsensations,shehadallowedtofadeandalmostdieout。Sheputanewcandleinherlantern;shechangedhershawlforamaud,andleavingthedooronlatch,shesalliedout。
Justatthemomentwhenherearfirstencounteredtheweirdnoisesofthestorm,onissuingforthintotheopenair,shethoughtsheheardthewords,\"OGod!Ohelp!\"Theywereaguidetoher,ifwordstheywere,fortheycamestraightfromarocknotaquarterofamilefromYewNook,butonlytobereached,onaccountofitsprecipitouscharacter,byaround-aboutpath。Thithershesteered,defyingwindandsnow;guidedbyhereathorn-tree,thereanold,dodderedoak,whichhadnotquitelesttheiridentityunderthewhelmingmaskofsnow。Nowandthenshestoppedtolisten;butneverawordorsoundheardshe,tillrightfromwherethecopse-woodgrewthickandtangledatthebaseoftherock,roundwhichshewaswinding,sheheardamoan。Intothebrake——allsnowinappearance——almostaplainofsnowlookedonfromthelittleeminencewhereshestood——sheplunged,breakingdownthebush,stumbling,bruisingherself,fightingherway;herlanternheldbetweenherteeth,andsheherselfusingheadaswellashandstobuttawayapassage,atwhatevercostofbodilyinjury。Assheclimbedorstaggered,owingtotheunevennessofthesnow-coveredground,wherethebriarsandweedsofyearsweretangledandmattedtogether,herfootfeltsomethingstrangelysoftandyielding。Sheloweredherlantern;therelayaman,proneonhisface,nearlycoveredbythefast-fallingflakes;hemusthavefallenfromtherockabove,as,notknowingofthecircuitouspath,hehadtriedtodescenditssteep,slipperyface。
Whocouldtell?itwasnotimeforthinking。Susanliftedhimupwithherwirystrength;hegavenohelp——nosignoflife;butforallthathemightbealive:hewasstillwarm;shetiedhermaudroundhim;shefastenedthelanterntoherapron-string;sheheldhimtight:half-carrying,half-dragging——whatdidafewbruisessignifytohim,comparedtodearlife,topreciouslife!Shegothimthroughthebrake,anddownthepath。There,foraninstant,shestoppedtotakebreath;but,asifstungbytheFuries,shepushedonagainwithalmostsuperhumanstrength。Claspinghimroundthewaist,andleaninghisdeadweightagainstthelintelofthedoor,shetriedtoundothelatch;butnow,justatthismoment,atremblingfaintnesscameoverher,andafearfuldreadtookpossessionofher——thathere,ontheverythresholdofherhome,shemightbefounddead,andburiedunderthesnow,whenthefarm-servantscameinthemorning。
Thisterrorstirredheruptoonemoreeffort。Thensheandhercompanionwereinthewarmthofthequiethavenofthatkitchen;shelaidhimonthesettle,andsankonthefloorbyhisside。Howlongsheremainedinthisswoonshecouldnottell;notverylongshejudgedbythefire,whichwasstillredandsullenlyglowingwhenshecametoherself。Shelightedthecandle,andbentoverherlateburdentoascertainifindeedheweredead。Shestoodlonggazing。
Themanlaydead。Therecouldbenodoubtaboutit。Hisfilmyeyesglaredather,unshut。ButSusanwasnotonetobeaffrightedbythestonyaspectofdeath。Itwasnotthat;itwasthebitter,woefulrecognitionofMichaelHurst!
Shewasconvincedhewasdead;butafterawhilesherefusedtobelieveinherconviction。Shestrippedoffhiswetouter-garmentswithtrembling,hurriedhands。Shebroughtablanketdownfromherownbed;shemadeupthefire。Sheswathedhiminfresh,warmwrappings,andlaidhimontheflagsbeforethefire,sittingherselfathishead,andholdingitinherlap,whileshetenderlywipedhisloose,wethair,curlystill,althoughitscolourhadchangedfromnut-browntoiron-graysinceshehadseenitlast。Fromtimetotimeshebentoverthefaceafresh,sick,andfaintobelievethattheflickerofthefire-lightwassomeslightconvulsivemotion。Butthedim,staringeyesstruckchilltoherheart。Atlastsheceasedherdelicate,busycares:butshestillheldtheheadsoftly,asifcaressingit。Shethoughtoverallthepossibilitiesandchancesinthemingledyarnoftheirlivesthatmight,bysoslightaturn,haveendedfarotherwise。Ifhermother’scoldhadbeenearlytended,sothattheresponsibilityastoherbrother’swealorwoehadnotfallenuponher;ifthefeverhadnottakensuchrough,cruelholdonWill;nay,ifMrs。Gale,thathard,worldlysister,hadnotaccompaniedhimonhislastvisittoYewNook——hisverylastbeforethisfatal,stormymight;ifshehadheardhiscry,——cryutteredbythesepale,deadlipswithsuchwild,despairingagony,notyetthreehoursago!——O!ifshehadbuthearditsooner,hemighthavebeensavedbeforethatblind,falsestephadprecipitatedhimdowntherock!Ingoingoverthiswearychainofunrealizedpossibilities,SusanlearnttheforceofPeggy’swords。Lifewasshort,lookingbackuponit。Itseemedbutyesterdaysincealltheloveofherbeinghadbeenpouredout,andruntowaste。Theinterveningyears——
thelongmonotonousyearsthathadturnedherintoanoldwomanbeforehertime——werebutadream。
Thelabourerscominginthedawnofthewinter’sdayweresurprisedtoseethefire-lightthroughthelowkitchen-window。Theyknocked,andhearingamoaninganswer,theyentered,fearingthatsomethinghadbefallentheirmistress。Forallexplanationtheygotthesewords\"ItisMichaelHurst。Hewasbelated,andfelldowntheRaven’sCrag。WheredoesEleanor,hiswife,live?\"
HowMichaelHurstgottoYewNooknoonebutSusaneverknew。Theythoughthehaddraggedhimselfthere,withsomesoreinternalbruisesappingawayhisminutedlife。Theycouldnothavebelievedthesuperhumanexertionwhichhadfirstsoughthimout,andthendraggedhimhither。OnlySusanknewofthat。
Shegavehimintothechargeofherservants,andwentoutandsaddledherhorse。Wherethewindhaddriftedthesnowononeside,andtheroadwasclearandbare,sherode,androdefast;wherethesoft,deceitfulheapsweremassedup,shedismountedandledhersteed,plungingindeep,withfierceenergy,thepainatherhearturgingheronwardswithasharp,diggingspur。
Thegray,solemn,winter’snoonwasmorenight-likethanthedepthofsummer’snight;dim-purplebroodedthelowskiesoverthewhiteearth,asSusanrodeuptowhathadbeenMichaelHurst’sabodewhileliving。Itwasasmallfarm-housecarelesslykeptoutside,slatternlytendedwithin。TheprettyNellyHebthwaitewasprettystill;herdelicatefacehadneversufferedfromanylong-enduringfeeling。Ifanything,itsexpressionwasthatofplaintivesorrow;
butthesoft,lighthairhadscarcelyatingeofgray;thewood-rosetintofcomplexionyetremained,ifnotsobrilliantasinyouth;thestraightnose,thesmallmouthwereuntouchedbytime。Susanfeltthecontrastevenatthatmoment。Sheknewthatherownskinwasweather-beaten,furrowed,brown,——thatherteethweregone,andherhairgrayandragged。AndyetshewasnottwoyearsolderthanNelly,——shehadnotbeen,inyouth,whenshetookaccountofthesethings。Nellystoodwonderingatthestrange-enoughhorse-woman,whostoppedandpantedatthedoor,holdingherhorse’sbridle,andrefusingtoenter。
\"WhereisMichaelHurst?\"askedSusan,atlast。
\"Well,Ican’trightlysay。Heshouldhavebeenathomelastnight,buthewasoff,seeingafterapublic-housetobeletatUlverstone,forourfarmdoesnotanswer,andwewerethinking——\"
\"Hedidnotcomehomelastnight?\"saidSusan,cuttingshortthestory,andhalf-affirming,half-questioning,bywayoflettinginarayoftheawfullightbeforesheletitfullin,initsconsumingwrath。
\"No!he’llbestoppingsomewhereoutUlverstoneways。I’msurewe’veneedofhimathome,forI’venoonebutlileTommytohelpmetendthebeasts。Thingshavenotgonewellwithus,andwedon’tkeepaservantnow。Butyou’retremblingallover,ma’am。You’dbettercomein,andtakesomethingwarm,whileyourhorserests。That’sthestable-door,toyourleft。\"
Susantookherhorsethere;loosenedhisgirths,andrubbedhimdownwithawispofstraw。Thenshehookedaboutherforhay;buttheplacewasbareoffeed,andsmeltdampandunused。Shewenttothehouse,thankfulfortherespite,andgotsomeclap-bread,whichshemashedupinapailfuloflukewarmwater。Everymomentwasarespite,andyeteverymomentmadeherdreadthemorethetaskthatlaybeforeher。Itwouldbelongerthanshethoughtatfirst。Shetookthesaddleoff,andhungaboutherhorse,whichseemed,somehow,morelikeafriendthananythingelseintheworld。Shelaidhercheekagainstitsneck,andrestedthere,beforereturningtothehouseforthelasttime。
Eleanorhadbroughtdownoneofherowngowns,whichhungonachairagainstthefire,andhadmadeherunknownvisitoracupofhottea。
Susancouldhardlybearalltheselittleattentions:theychokedher,andyetshewassowet,soweakwithfatigueandexcitement,thatshecouldneitherresistbyvoiceorbyaction。Twochildrenstoodawkwardlyabout,puzzledatthescene,andevenEleanorbegantowishforsomeexplanationofwhoherstrangevisitorwas。
\"You’ve,maybe,heardhimspeakingofme?I’mcalledSusanDixon。\"
Nellycoloured,andavoidedmeetingSusan’seye。
\"I’veheardotherfolkspeakofyou。Henevernamedyourname。\"
ThisrespectofsilencecamelikebalmtoSusan:balmnotfeltorheededatthetimeitwasapplied,butverygratefulinitseffectsforallthat。
\"Heisatmyhouse,\"continuedSusan,determinednottostoporquaverintheoperation——thepainwhichmustbeinflicted。
\"Atyourhouse?YewNook?\"questionedEleanor,surprised。\"Howcamehethere?\"——halfjealously。\"Didhetakeshelterfromthecomingstorm?Tellme,——thereissomething——tellme,woman!\"
\"Hetooknoshelter。WouldtoGodhehad!\"
\"O!wouldtoGod!wouldtoGod!\"shriekedoutEleanor,learningallfromthewofulimportofthosedrearyeyes。Hercriesthrilledthroughthehouse;thechildren’spipingwailingsandpassionatecrieson\"Daddy!Daddy!\"piercedintoSusan’sverymarrow。Butsheremainedasstillandtearlessasthegreatroundfaceupontheclock。
Atlast,inalullofcrying,shesaid,——notexactlyquestioning,butasifpartlytoherself-
\"Youlovedhim,then?\"
\"Lovedhim!hewasmyhusband!HewasthefatherofthreebonnybairnsthatliedeadinGrasmerechurchyard。Iwishyou’dgo,SusanDixon,andletmeweepwithoutyourwatchingme!Iwishyou’dnevercomeneartheplace。\"
\"Alas!alas!itwouldnothavebroughthimtolife。Iwouldhavelaiddownmyowntosavehis。Mylifehasbeensoverysad!NoonewouldhavecaredifIhaddied。Alas!alas!\"
ThetoneinwhichshesaidthiswassoutterlymournfulanddespairingthatitawedNellyintoquietforatime。Butby-and-byshesaid,\"Iwouldnotturnadogouttodoitharm;butthenightisclear,andTommyshallguideyoutotheRedCow。But,oh,Iwanttobealone!Ifyou’llcomebackto-morrow,I’llbebetter,andI’llhearall,andthankyouforeverykindnessyouhaveshownhim,——andI
dobelieveyou’veshowedhimkindness,——thoughIdon’tknowwhy。\"
Susanmovedheavilyandstrangely。
Shesaidsomething——herwordscamethickandunintelligible。Shehadhadaparalyticstrokesinceshehadlastspoken。Shecouldnotgo,evenifshewould。NordidEleanor,whenshebecameawareofthestateofthecase,wishhertoleave。Shehadherlaidonherownbed,andweepingsilentlyallthewhileforherlesthusband,shenursedSusanlikeasister。Shedidnotknowwhatherguest’sworldlypositionmightbe;andshemightneverberepaid。ButshesoldmanyalittletrifletopurchasesuchsmallcomfortsasSusanneeded。Susan,lyingstillandmotionless,learntmuch。Itwasnotaseverestroke;itmightbetheforerunnerofothersyettocome,butatsomedistanceoftime。Butforthepresentsherecovered,andregainedmuchofherformerhealth。Onhersick-bedshematuredherplans。WhenshereturnedtoYewNook,shetookMichaelHurst’swidowandchildrenwithhertolivethere,andfillupthehauntedhearthwithlivingformsthatshouldbanishtheghosts。
AndsoitfelloutthatthelatterdaysofSusanDixon’slifewerebetterthantheformer。