\"Ishouldlikeyoutotakeit，\"returnedPhoebewithapersuasivesmile，\"fortheloveofthatlittlepresentwhichmusteverbesodeartome。Ishouldlikeyoutotakeit，becausethatroadcanneverbeagainlikeanyotherroadtome。Ishouldlikeyoutotakeit，inremembranceofyourhavingdonemesomuchgood：ofyourhavingmademesomuchhappier！Ifyouleavemebytheroadyoutravelledwhenyouwenttodomethisgreatkindness，\"soundingafaintchordasshespoke，\"Ishallfeel，lyingherewatchingatmywindow，asifitmustconductyoutoaprosperousend，andbringyoubacksomeday。\"
\"Itshallbedone，mydear；itshallbedone。\"
SoatlastthegentlemanforNowheretookaticketforSomewhere，andhisdestinationwasthegreatingenioustown。
HehadloiteredsolongabouttheJunctionthatitwastheeighteenthofDecemberwhenheleftit。\"Hightime，\"hereflected，asheseatedhimselfinthetrain，\"thatIstartedinearnest！OnlyonecleardayremainsbetweenmeandthedayIamrunningawayfrom。
I’llpushonwardforthehill-countryto-morrow。I’llgotoWales。\"
Itwaswithsomepainsthatheplacedbeforehimselftheundeniableadvantagestobegainedinthewayofnoveloccupationforhissensesfrommistymountains，swollenstreams，rain，cold，awildseashore，andruggedroads。Andyethescarcelymadethemoutasdistinctlyashecouldhavewished。Whetherthepoorgirl，inspiteofhernewresource，hermusic，wouldhaveanyfeelingoflonelinessuponhernow——justatfirst——thatshehadnothadbefore；whethershesawthoseverypuffsofsteamandsmokethathesaw，ashesatinthetrainthinkingofher；whetherherfacewouldhaveanypensiveshadowonitastheydiedoutofthedistantviewfromherwindow；whether，intellinghimhehaddonehersomuchgood，shehadnotunconsciouslycorrectedhisoldmoodybemoaningofhisstationinlife，bysettinghimthinkingthatamanmightbeagreathealer，ifhewould，andyetnotbeagreatdoctor；theseandothersimilarmeditationsgotbetweenhimandhisWelshpicture。Therewaswithinhim，too，thatdullsenseofvacuitywhichfollowsseparationfromanobjectofinterest，andcessationofapleasantpursuit；andthissense，beingquitenewtohim，madehimrestless。
Further，inlosingMugbyJunction，hehadfoundhimselfagain；andhewasnotthemoreenamouredofhimselfforhavinglatelypassedhistimeinbettercompany。
Butsurelyhere，notfarahead，mustbethegreatingenioustown。
Thiscrashingandclashingthatthetrainwasundergoing，andthiscouplingontoitofamultitudeofnewechoes，couldmeannothinglessthanapproachtothegreatstation。Itdidmeannothingless。
Aftersomestormyflashesoftownlightning，inthewayofswiftrevelationsofredbrickblocksofhouses，highredbrickchimney-
shafts，vistasofredbrickrailwayarches，tonguesoffire，blocksofsmoke，valleysofcanal，andhillsifcoal，therecamethethunderinginatthejourney’send。
Havingseenhisportmanteaussafelyhousedinthehotelhechose，andhavingappointedhisdinnerhour，BarboxBrotherswentoutforawalkinthebusystreets。AndnowitbegantobesuspectedbyhimthatMugbyJunctionwasaJunctionofmanybranches，invisibleaswellasvisible，andhadjoinedhimtoanendlessnumberofby-ways。
For，whereashewould，butalittlewhileago，havewalkedthesestreetsblindlybrooding，henowhadeyesandthoughtsforanewexternalworld。Howthemanytoilingpeoplelived，andloved，anddied；howwonderfulitwastoconsiderthevarioustrainingsofeyeandhand，thenicedistinctionsofsightandtouch，thatseparatedthemintoclassesofworkers，andevenintoclassesofworkersatsubdivisionsofonecompletewholewhichcombinedtheirmanyintelligencesandforces，thoughofitselfbutsomecheapobjectofuseorornamentincommonlife；howgooditwastoknowthatsuchassemblinginamultitudeontheirpart，andsuchcontributionoftheirseveraldexteritiestowardsacivilisingend，didnotdeterioratethemasitwasthefashionofthesuperciliousMayfliesofhumanitytopretend，butengenderedamongthemaself-respect，andyetamodestdesiretobemuchwiserthantheywere（thefirstevincedintheirwell-balancedbearingandmannerofspeechwhenhestoppedtoaskaquestion；thesecond，intheannouncementsoftheirpopularstudiesandamusementsonthepublicwalls）；theseconsiderations，andahostofsuch，madehiswalkamemorableone。
\"Itooambutalittlepartofagreatwhole，\"hebegantothink；
\"andtobeserviceabletomyselfandothers，ortobehappy，Imustcastmyinterestinto，anddrawitoutof，thecommonstock。\"
Althoughhehadarrivedathisjourney’sendforthedaybynoon，hehadsinceinsensiblywalkedaboutthetownsofarandsolongthatthelamp-lighterswerenowattheirworkinthestreets，andtheshopsweresparklingupbrilliantly。Thusremindedtoturntowardshisquarters，hewasintheactofdoingso，whenaverylittlehandcreptintohis，andaverylittlevoicesaid：
\"Oh！ifyouplease，Iamlost！\"
Helookeddown，andsawaverylittlefair-hairedgirl。
\"Yes，\"shesaid，confirmingherwordswithaseriousnod。\"Iamindeed。Iamlost！\"
Greatlyperplexed，hestopped，lookedabouthimforhelp，descriednone，andsaid，bendinglow。
\"Wheredoyoulive，mychild？\"
\"Idon’tknowwhereIlive，\"shereturned。\"Iamlost。\"
\"Whatisyourname？\"
\"Polly。\"
\"Whatisyourothername？\"
Thereplywasprompt，butunintelligible。
Imitatingthesoundashecaughtit，hehazardedtheguess，\"Trivits。\"
\"Ohno！\"saidthechild，shakingherhead。\"Nothinglikethat。\"
\"Sayitagain，littleone。\"
Anunpromisingbusiness。Forthistimeithadquiteadifferentsound。
Hemadetheventure，\"Paddens？\"
\"Ohno！\"saidthechild。\"Nothinglikethat。\"
\"Oncemore。Letustryitagain，dear。\"
Amosthopelessbusiness。Thistimeitswelledintofoursyllables。
\"Itcan’tbeTappitarver？\"saidBarboxBrothers，rubbinghisheadwithhishatindiscomfiture。
\"No！Itain’t，\"thechildquietlyassented。
Onhertryingthisunfortunatenameoncemore，withextraordinaryeffortsatdistinctness，itswelledintoeightsyllablesatleast。
\"Ah！Ithink，\"saidBarboxBrotherswithadesperateairofresignation，\"thatwehadbettergiveitup。\"
\"ButIamlost，\"saidthechild，nestlingherlittlehandmorecloselyinhis，\"andyou’lltakecareofme，won’tyou？\"
Ifeveramanweredisconcertedbydivisionbetweencompassionontheonehand，andtheveryimbecilityofirresolutionontheother，herethemanwas。\"Lost！\"herepeated，lookingdownatthechild。
\"IamsureIam。Whatistobedone？\"
\"Wheredoyoulive？\"askedthechild，lookingupathimwistfully。
\"Overthere，\"heanswered，pointingvaguelyinthedirectionofhishotel。
\"Hadn’twebettergothere？\"saidthechild。
\"Really，\"hereplied，\"Idon’tknowbutwhatwehad。\"
Sotheysetoff，hand-in-hand。He，throughcomparisonofhimselfagainsthislittlecompanion，withaclumsyfeelingonhimasifhehadjustdevelopedintoafoolishgiant。She，clearlyelevatedinherowntinyopinionbyhavinggothimsoneatlyoutofhisembarrassment。
\"Wearegoingtohavedinnerwhenwegetthere，Isuppose？\"saidPolly。
\"Well，\"herejoined，\"I——Yes，Isupposeweare。\"
\"Doyoulikeyourdinner？\"askedthechild。
\"Why，onthewhole，\"saidBarboxBrothers，\"yes，IthinkIdo。\"
\"Idomine，\"saidPolly。\"Haveyouanybrothersandsisters？\"
\"No。Haveyou？\"
\"Minearedead。\"
\"Oh！\"saidBarboxBrothers。Withthatabsurdsenseofunwieldinessofmindandbodyweighinghimdown，hewouldhavenotknownhowtopursuetheconversationbeyondthiscurtrejoinder，butthatthechildwasalwaysreadyforhim。
\"What，\"sheasked，turninghersofthandcoaxinglyinhis，\"areyougoingtodotoamusemeafterdinner？\"
\"Uponmysoul，Polly，\"exclaimedBarboxBrothers，verymuchataloss，\"Ihavenottheslightestidea！\"
\"ThenItellyouwhat，\"saidPolly。\"Haveyougotanycardsatyourhouse？\"
\"Plenty，\"saidBarboxBrothersinaboastfulvein。
\"Verywell。ThenI’llbuildhouses，andyoushalllookatme。Youmustn’tblow，youknow。\"
\"Ohno，\"saidBarboxBrothers。\"No，no，no。Noblowing。Blowing’snotfair。\"
Heflatteredhimselfthathehadsaidthisprettywellforanidioticmonster；butthechild，instantlyperceivingtheawkwardnessofhisattempttoadapthimselftoherlevel，utterlydestroyedhishopefulopinionofhimselfbysayingcompassionately：\"Whatafunnymanyouare！\"
Feeling，afterthismelancholyfailure，asifheeveryminutegrewbiggerandheavierinperson，andweakerinmind，Barboxgavehimselfupforabadjob。Nogianteversubmittedmoremeeklytobeledintriumphbyall-conqueringJackthanhetobeboundinslaverytoPolly。
\"Doyouknowanystories？\"sheaskedhim。
Hewasreducedtothehumiliatingconfession：\"No。\"
\"Whatadunceyoumustbe，mustn’tyou？\"saidPolly。
Hewasreducedtothehumiliatingconfession：\"Yes。\"
\"Wouldyoulikemetoteachyouastory？Butyoumustrememberit，youknow，andbeabletotellitrighttosomebodyelseafterwards。\"
Heprofessedthatitwouldaffordhimthehighestmentalgratificationtobetaughtastory，andthathewouldhumblyendeavourtoretainitinhismind。WhereuponPolly，givingherhandanewlittleturninhis，expressiveofsettlingdownforenjoyment，commencedalongromance，ofwhicheveryrelishingclausebeganwiththewords：\"Sothis，\"or，\"Andsothis。\"As，\"Sothisboy；\"or，\"Sothisfairy；\"or，\"Andsothispiewasfouryardsround，andtwoyardsandaquarterdeep。\"Theinterestoftheromancewasderivedfromtheinterventionofthisfairytopunishthisboyforhavingagreedyappetite。Toachievewhichpurpose，thisfairymadethispie，andthisboyateandateandate，andhischeeksswelledandswelledandswelled。Thereweremanytributarycircumstances，buttheforcibleinterestculminatedinthetotalconsumptionofthispie，andtheburstingofthisboy。Trulyhewasafinesight，BarboxBrothers，withseriousattentiveface，andearbentdown，muchjostledonthepavementsofthebusytown，butafraidoflosingasingleincidentoftheepic，lestheshouldbeexaminedinitby-and-by，andfounddeficient。
Thustheyarrivedatthehotel。Andtherehehadtosayatthebar，andsaidawkwardlyenough；\"Ihavefoundalittlegirl！\"
Thewholeestablishmentturnedouttolookatthelittlegirl。
Nobodyknewher；nobodycouldmakeouthername，asshesetitforth——exceptonechamber-maid，whosaiditwasConstantinople——
whichitwasn’t。
\"Iwilldinewithmyyoungfriendinaprivateroom，\"saidBarboxBrotherstothehotelauthorities，\"andperhapsyouwillbesogoodastoletthepoliceknowthattheprettybabyishere。Isupposesheissuretobeinquiredforsoon，ifshehasnotbeenalready。
Comealong，Polly。\"
Perfectlyateaseandpeace，Pollycamealong，but，findingthestairsratherstiffwork，wascarriedupbyBarboxBrothers。Thedinnerwasamosttranscendantsuccess，andtheBarboxsheepishness，underPolly’sdirectionshowtomincehermeatforher，andhowtodiffusegravyovertheplatewithaliberalandequalhand，wasanotherfinesight。
\"Andnow，\"saidPolly，\"whileweareatdinner，youbegood，andtellmethatstoryItaughtyou。\"
WiththetremorsofaCivilServiceexaminationuponhim，andveryuncertainindeed，notonlyastotheepochatwhichthepieappearedinhistory，butalsoastothemeasurementsofthatindispensablefact，BarboxBrothersmadeashakybeginning，butunderencouragementdidveryfairly。Therewasawantofbreadthobservableinhisrenderingofthecheeks，aswellastheappetite，oftheboy；andtherewasacertaintamenessinhisfairy，referabletoanunder-currentofdesiretoaccountforher。Still，asthefirstlumberingperformanceofagood-humouredmonster，itpassedmuster。
\"Itoldyoutobegood，\"saidPolly，\"andyouaregood，ain’tyou？\"
\"Ihopeso，\"repliedBarboxBrothers。
SuchwashisdeferencethatPolly，elevatedonaplatformofsofacushionsinachairathisrighthand，encouragedhimwithapatortwoonthefacefromthegreasybowlofherspoon，andevenwithagraciouskiss。Ingettingonherfeetuponherchair，however，togivehimthislastreward，shetoppledforwardamongthedishes，andcausedhimtoexclaim，asheeffectedherrescue：\"GraciousAngels！
Whew！Ithoughtwewereinthefire，Polly！\"
\"Whatacowardyouare，ain’tyou？\"saidPollywhenreplaced。
\"Yes，Iamrathernervous，\"hereplied。\"Whew！Don’t，Polly！
Don’tflourishyourspoon，oryou’llgooversideways。Don’ttiltupyourlegswhenyoulaugh，Polly，oryou’llgooverbackwards。
Whew！Polly，Polly，Polly，\"saidBarboxBrothers，nearlysuccumbingtodespair，\"weareenvironedwithdangers！\"
Indeed，hecoulddescrynosecurityfromthepitfallsthatwereyawningforPolly，butinproposingtoher，afterdinner，tosituponalowstool。\"Iwill，ifyouwill，\"saidPolly。So，aspeaceofmindshouldgobeforeall，hebeggedthewaitertowheelasidethetable，bringapackofcards，acoupleoffootstools，andascreen，andcloseinPollyandhimselfbeforethefire，asitwereinasnugroomwithintheroom。Then，finestsightofall，wasBarboxBrothersonhisfootstool，withapintdecanterontherug，contemplatingPollyasshebuiltsuccessfully，andgrowingblueinthefacewithholdinghisbreath，lestheshouldblowthehousedown。
\"Howyoustare，don’tyou？\"saidPollyinahouselesspause。
Detectedintheignoblefact，hefeltobligedtoadmit，apologetically：
\"IamafraidIwaslookingratherhardatyou，Polly。\"
\"Whydoyoustare？\"askedPolly。
\"Icannot，\"hemurmuredtohimself，\"recallwhy。——Idon’tknow，Polly。\"
\"Youmustbeasimpletontodothingsandnotknowwhy，mustn’tyou？\"saidPolly。
Inspiteofwhichreproof，helookedatthechildagainintently，asshebentherheadoverhercardstructure，herrichcurlsshadingherface。\"Itisimpossible，\"hethought，\"thatIcaneverhaveseenthisprettybabybefore。CanIhavedreamedofher？Insomesorrowfuldream？\"
Hecouldmakenothingofit。SohewentintothebuildingtradeasajourneymanunderPolly，andtheybuiltthreestorieshigh，fourstorieshigh；evenfive。
\"Isay！Whodoyouthinkiscoming？\"askedPolly，rubbinghereyesaftertea。
Heguessed：\"Thewaiter？\"
\"No，\"saidPolly，\"thedustman。Iamgettingsleepy。\"
AnewembarrassmentforBarboxBrothers！
\"Idon’tthinkIamgoingtobefetchedto-night，\"saidPolly。
\"Whatdoyouthink？\"
Hethoughtnot，either。Afteranotherquarterofanhour，thedustmannotmerelyimpending，butactuallyarriving，recoursewashadtotheConstantinopolitanchamber-maid：whocheerilyundertookthatthechildshouldsleepinacomfortableandwholesomeroom，whichsheherselfwouldshare。
\"AndIknowyouwillbecareful，won’tyou，\"saidBarboxBrothers，asanewfeardawneduponhim，\"thatshedon’tfalloutofbed？\"
Pollyfoundthissohighlyentertainingthatshewasunderthenecessityofclutchinghimroundtheneckwithbotharmsashesatonhisfootstoolpickingupthecards，androckinghimtoandfro，withherdimpledchinonhisshoulder。
\"Oh，whatacowardyouare，ain’tyou？\"saidPolly。\"Doyoufalloutofbed？\"
\"N——notgenerally，Polly。\"
\"NomoredoI。\"
Withthat，Pollygavehimareassuringhugortwotokeephimgoing，andthengivingthatconfidingmiteofahandofherstobeswallowedupinthehandoftheConstantinopolitanchamber-maid，trottedoff，chattering，withoutavestigeofanxiety。
Helookedafterher，hadthescreenremovedandthetableandchairsreplaced，andstilllookedafterher。Hepacedtheroomforhalfanhour。\"Amostengaginglittlecreature，butit’snotthat。Amostwinninglittlevoice，butit’snotthat。Thathasmuchtodowithit，butthereissomethingmore。HowcanitbethatIseemtoknowthischild？WhatwasitsheimperfectlyrecalledtomewhenIfelthertouchinthestreet，and，lookingdownather，sawherlookingupatme？\"
\"Mr。Jackson！\"
Withastartheturnedtowardsthesoundofthesubduedvoice，andsawhisanswerstandingatthedoor。
\"Oh，Mr。Jackson，donotbeseverewithme！Speakawordofencouragementtome，Ibeseechyou。\"
\"YouarePolly’smother。\"
\"Yes。\"
Yes。Pollyherselfmightcometothis，oneday。Asyouseewhattherosewasinitsfadedleaves；asyouseewhatthesummergrowthofthewoodswasintheirwintrybranches；soPollymightbetraced，oneday，inacarewornwomanlikethis，withherhairturnedgrey。
Beforehimweretheashesofadeadfirethathadonceburnedbright。Thiswasthewomanhehadloved。Thiswasthewomanhehadlost。Suchhadbeentheconstancyofhisimaginationtoher，sohadTimesparedherunderitswithholding，thatnow，seeinghowroughlytheinexorablehandhadstruckher，hissoulwasfilledwithpityandamazement。
Heledhertoachair，andstoodleaningonacornerofthechimney-
piece，withhisheadrestingonhishand，andhisfacehalfaverted。
\"Didyouseemeinthestreet，andshowmetoyourchild？\"heasked。
\"Yes。\"
\"Isthelittlecreature，then，apartytodeceit？\"
\"Ihopethereisnodeceit。Isaidtoher，’Wehavelostourway，andImusttrytofindminebymyself。Gotothatgentleman，andtellhimyouarelost。Youshallbefetchedby-and-by。’Perhapsyouhavenotthoughthowveryyoungsheis？\"
\"Sheisveryself-reliant。\"
\"Perhapsbecausesheissoyoung。\"
Heasked，afterashortpause，\"Whydidyoudothis？\"
\"Oh，Mr。Jackson，doyouaskme？Inthehopethatyoumightseesomethinginmyinnocentchildtosoftenyourhearttowardsme。Notonlytowardsme，buttowardsmyhusband。\"
Hesuddenlyturnedabout，andwalkedtotheoppositeendoftheroom。Hecamebackagainwithaslowerstep，andresumedhisformerattitude，saying：
\"IthoughtyouhademigratedtoAmerica？\"
\"Wedid。Butlifewentillwithusthere，andwecameback。\"
\"Doyouliveinthistown？\"
\"Yes。Iamadailyteacherofmusichere。Myhusbandisabook-
keeper。\"
\"Areyou——forgivemyasking——poor？\"
\"Weearnenoughforourwants。Thatisnotourdistress。Myhusbandisvery，veryillofalingeringdisorder。Hewillneverrecover——\"
\"Youcheckyourself。Ifitisforwantoftheencouragingwordyouspokeof，takeitfromme。Icannotforgettheoldtime，Beatrice。\"
\"Godblessyou！\"sherepliedwithaburstoftears，andgavehimhertremblinghand。
\"Composeyourself。Icannotbecomposedifyouarenot，fortoseeyouweepdistressesmebeyondexpression。Speakfreelytome。
Trustme。\"
Sheshadedherfacewithherveil，andafteralittlewhilespokecalmly。HervoicehadtheringofPolly’s。
\"Itisnotthatmyhusband’smindisatallimpairedbyhisbodilysuffering，forIassureyouthatisnotthecase。Butinhisweakness，andinhisknowledgethatheisincurablyill，hecannotovercometheascendancyofoneidea。Itpreysuponhim，embitterseverymomentofhispainfullife，andwillshortenit。\"
Shestopping，hesaidagain：\"Speakfreelytome。Trustme。\"
\"Wehavehadfivechildrenbeforethisdarling，andtheyalllieintheirlittlegraves。Hebelievesthattheyhavewitheredawayunderacurse，andthatitwillblightthischildliketherest。\"
\"Underwhatcurse？\"
\"BothIandhehaveitonourconsciencethatwetriedyouveryheavily，andIdonotknowbutthat，ifIwereasillashe，Imightsufferinmymindashedoes。Thisistheconstantburden：-’I
believe，Beatrice，IwastheonlyfriendthatMr。Jacksonevercaredtomake，thoughIwassomuchhisjunior。Themoreinfluenceheacquiredinthebusiness，thehigherheadvancedme，andIwasaloneinhisprivateconfidence。Icamebetweenhimandyou，andItookyoufromhim。Wewerebothsecret，andtheblowfellwhenhewaswhollyunprepared。Theanguishitcausedamansocompressedmusthavebeenterrible；thewrathitawakenedinappeasable。So，acursecametobeinvokedonourpoor，prettylittleflowers，andtheyfall。’\"
\"Andyou，Beatrice，\"heasked，whenshehadceasedtospeak，andtherehadbeenasilenceafterwards，\"howsayyou？\"
\"UntilwithinthesefewweeksIwasafraidofyou，andIbelievedthatyouwouldnever，neverforgive。\"
\"Untilwithinthesefewweeks，\"herepeated。\"Haveyouchangedyouropinionofmewithinthesefewweeks？\"
\"Yes。\"
\"Forwhatreason？\"
\"Iwasgettingsomepiecesofmusicinashopinthistown，when，tomyterror，youcamein。AsIveiledmyfaceandstoodinthedarkendoftheshop，Iheardyouexplainthatyouwantedamusicalinstrumentforabedriddengirl。Yourvoiceandmannerweresosoftened，youshowedsuchinterestinitsselection，youtookitawayyourselfwithsomuchtendernessofcareandpleasure，thatI
knewyouwereamanwithamostgentleheart。Oh，Mr。Jackson，Mr。
Jackson，ifyoucouldhavefelttherefreshingrainoftearsthatfollowedforme！\"
WasPhoebeplayingatthatmomentonherdistantcouch？Heseemedtohearher。
\"Iinquiredintheshopwhereyoulived，butcouldgetnoinformation。AsIhadheardyousaythatyouweregoingbackbythenexttrain（butyoudidnotsaywhere），Iresolvedtovisitthestationataboutthattimeofday，asoftenasIcould，betweenmylessons，onthechanceofseeingyouagain。Ihavebeenthereveryoften，butsawyounomoreuntilto-day。Youweremeditatingasyouwalkedthestreet，butthecalmexpressionofyourfaceemboldenedmetosendmychildtoyou。AndwhenIsawyoubendyourheadtospeaktenderlytoher，IprayedtoGODtoforgivemeforhavingeverbroughtasorrowonit。Inowpraytoyoutoforgiveme，andtoforgivemyhusband。Iwasveryyoung，hewasyoungtoo，and，intheignoranthardihoodofsuchatimeoflife，wedon’tknowwhatwedotothosewhohaveundergonemorediscipline。Yougenerousman！Yougoodman！Sotoraisemeupandmakenothingofmycrimeagainstyou！\"——forhewouldnotseeheronherknees，andsoothedherasakindfathermighthavesoothedanerringdaughter——\"thankyou，blessyou，thankyou！\"
Whenhenextspoke，itwasafterhavingdrawnasidethewindowcurtainandlookedoutawhile。Thenheonlysaid：
\"IsPollyasleep？\"
\"Yes。AsIcamein，Imethergoingawayupstairs，andputhertobedmyself。\"
\"Leaveherwithmeforto-morrow，Beatrice，andwritemeyouraddressonthisleafofmypocket-book。IntheeveningIwillbringherhometoyou——andtoherfather。\"
***
\"Hallo！\"criedPolly，puttinghersaucysunnyfaceinatthedoornextmorningwhenbreakfastwasready：\"IthoughtIwasfetchedlastnight？\"
\"Soyouwere，Polly，butIaskedleavetokeepyouherefortheday，andtotakeyouhomeintheevening。\"
\"Uponmyword！\"saidPolly。\"Youareverycool，ain’tyou？\"
However，Pollyseemedtothinkitagoodidea，andadded：\"I
supposeImustgiveyouakiss，thoughyouAREcool。\"
Thekissgivenandtaken，theysatdowntobreakfastinahighlyconversationaltone。
\"Ofcourse，youaregoingtoamuseme？\"saidPolly。
\"Oh，ofcourse！\"saidBarboxBrothers。
Inthepleasurableheightofheranticipations，Pollyfounditindispensabletoputdownherpieceoftoast，crossoneofherlittlefatkneesovertheother，andbringherlittlefatrighthanddownintoherlefthandwithabusiness-likeslap。Afterthisgatheringofherselftogether，Polly，bythattimeamereheapofdimples，askedinawheedlingmanner：
\"Whatarewegoingtodo，youdearoldthing？\"
\"Why，Iwasthinking，\"saidBarboxBrothers，\"——butareyoufondofhorses，Polly？\"
\"Ponies，Iam，\"saidPolly，\"especiallywhentheirtailsarelong。
Buthorses——n-no——toobig，youknow。\"
\"Well，\"pursuedBarboxBrothers，inaspiritofgravemysteriousconfidenceadaptedtotheimportanceoftheconsultation，\"Ididseeyesterday，Polly，onthewalls，picturesoftwolong-tailedponies，speckledallover——\"
\"No，no，NO！\"criedPolly，inanecstaticdesiretolingeronthecharmingdetails。\"Notspeckledallover！\"
\"Speckledallover。Whichponiesjumpthroughhoops——\"
\"No，no，NO！\"criedPollyasbefore。\"Theyneverjumpthroughhoops！\"
\"Yes，theydo。Oh，Iassureyoutheydo！Andeatpieinpinafores——
\"
\"Ponieseatingpieinpinafores！\"saidPolly。\"Whatastory-telleryouare，ain’tyou？\"
\"Uponmyhonour。——Andfireoffguns。\"
（Pollyhardlyseemedtoseetheforceoftheponiesresortingtofire-arms。）
\"AndIwasthinking，\"pursuedtheexemplaryBarbox，\"thatifyouandIweretogototheCircuswheretheseponiesare，itwoulddoourconstitutionsgood。\"
\"Doesthatmeanamuseus？\"inquiredPolly。\"Whatlongwordsyoudouse，don’tyou？\"
Apologeticforhavingwanderedoutofhisdepth，hereplied：
\"Thatmeansamuseus。Thatisexactlywhatitmeans。Therearemanyotherwondersbesidestheponies，andweshallseethemall。
Ladiesandgentlemeninspangleddresses，andelephantsandlionsandtigers。\"
Pollybecameobservantoftheteapot，withacurled-upnoseindicatingsomeuneasinessofmind。
\"Theynevergetout，ofcourse，\"sheremarkedasameretruism。
\"Theelephantsandlionsandtigers？Oh，dearno！\"
\"Oh，dearno！\"saidPolly。\"Andofcoursenobody’safraidoftheponiesshootinganybody。\"
\"Nottheleastintheworld。\"
\"No，no，nottheleastintheworld，\"saidPolly。
\"Iwasalsothinking，\"proceededBarbox，\"thatifweweretolookinatthetoy-shop，tochooseadoll——\"
\"Notdressed！\"criedPollywithaclapofherhands。\"No，no，NO，notdressed！\"
\"Full-dressed。Togetherwithahouse，andallthingsnecessaryforhousekeeping——\"
Pollygavealittlescream，andseemedindangeroffallingintoaswoonofbliss。
\"Whatadarlingyouare！\"shelanguidlyexclaimed，leaningbackinherchair。\"Comeandbehugged，orImustcomeandhugyou。\"
Thisresplendentprogrammewascarriedintoexecutionwiththeutmostrigourofthelaw。Itbeingessentialtomakethepurchaseofthedollitsfirstfeature——orthatladywouldhavelosttheponies——thetoy-shopexpeditiontookprecedence。Pollyinthemagicwarehouse，withadollaslargeasherselfundereacharm，andaneatassortmentofsometwentymoreonviewuponthecounter，didindeedpresentaspectacleofindecisionnotquitecompatiblewithunalloyedhappiness，butthelightcloudpassed。Thelovelyspecimenoftenestchosen，oftenestrejected，andfinallyabidedby，wasofCircassiandescent，possessingasmuchboldnessofbeautyaswasreconcilablewithextremefeeblenessofmouth，andcombiningasky-bluesilkpelissewithrose-colouredsatintrousers，andablackvelvethat：whichthisfairstrangertoournorthernshoreswouldseemtohavefoundedontheportraitsofthelateDuchessofKent。
Thenamethisdistinguishedforeignerbroughtwithherfrombeneaththeglowingskiesofasunnyclimewas（onPolly’sauthority）MissMelluka，andthecostlynatureofheroutfitasahousekeeper，fromtheBarboxcoffers，maybeinferredfromthetwofactsthathersilvertea-spoonswereaslargeasherkitchenpoker，andthattheproportionsofherwatchexceededthoseofherfrying-pan。MissMellukawasgraciouslypleasedtoexpressherentireapprobationoftheCircus，andsowasPolly；fortheponieswerespeckled，andbroughtdownnobodywhentheyfired，andthesavageryofthewildbeastsappearedtobemeresmoke——whicharticle，infact，theydidproduceinlargequantitiesfromtheirinsides。TheBarboxabsorptioninthegeneralsubjectthroughouttherealisationofthesedelightswasagainasighttosee，norwasitlessworthytobeholdatdinner，whenhedranktoMissMelluka，tiedstiffinachairoppositetoPolly（thefairCircassianpossessinganunbendablespine），andeveninducedthewaitertoassistincarryingoutwithduedecorumtheprevailinggloriousidea。Towindup，therecametheagreeablefeverofgettingMissMellukaandallherwardrobeandrichpossessionsintoaflywithPolly，tobetakenhome。But，bythattime，Pollyhadbecomeunabletolookuponsuchaccumulatedjoyswithwakingeyes，andhadwithdrawnherconsciousnessintothewonderfulParadiseofachild’ssleep。
\"Sleep，Polly，sleep，\"saidBarboxBrothers，asherheaddroppedonhisshoulder；\"youshallnotfalloutofthisbedeasily，atanyrate！\"
Whatrustlingpieceofpaperhetookfromhispocket，andcarefullyfoldedintothebosomofPolly’sfrock，shallnotbementioned。Hesaidnothingaboutit，andnothingshallbesaidaboutit。Theydrovetoamodestsuburbofthegreatingenioustown，andstoppedatthefore-courtofasmallhouse。\"Donotwakethechild，\"saidBarboxBrotherssoftlytothedriver；\"Iwillcarryherinassheis。\"
GreetingthelightattheopeneddoorwhichwasheldbyPolly’smother，Polly’sbearerpassedonwithmotherandchildintoaground-floorroom。There，stretchedonasofa，layasickman，sorelywasted，whocoveredhiseyeswithhisemaciatedhand。
\"Tresham，\"saidBarboxinakindlyvoice，\"IhavebroughtyoubackyourPolly，fastasleep。Givemeyourhand，andtellmeyouarebetter。\"
Thesickmanreachedforthhisrighthand，andbowedhisheadoverthehandintowhichitwastaken，andkissedit。\"Thankyou，thankyou！ImaysaythatIamwellandhappy。\"
\"That’sbrave，\"saidBarbox。\"Tresham，Ihaveafancy——Canyoumakeroomformebesideyouhere？\"
Hesatdownonthesofaashesaidthewords，cherishingtheplumppeacheycheekthatlayuppermostonhisshoulder。
\"Ihaveafancy，Tresham（Iamgettingquiteanoldfellownow，youknow，andoldfellowsmaytakefanciesintotheirheadssometimes），togiveupPolly，havingfoundher，tonoonebutyou。Willyoutakeherfromme？\"
Asthefatherheldouthisarmsforthechild，eachofthetwomenlookedsteadilyattheother。
\"Sheisverydeartoyou，Tresham？\"
\"Unutterablydear。\"
\"Godblessher！Itisnotmuch，Polly，\"hecontinued，turninghiseyesuponherpeacefulfaceasheapostrophizedher，\"itisnotmuch，Polly，forablindandsinfulmantoinvokeablessingonsomethingsofarbetterthanhimselfasalittlechildis；butitwouldbemuch——muchuponhiscruelhead，andmuchuponhisguiltysoul——ifhecouldbesowickedastoinvokeacurse。Hehadbetterhaveamillstoneroundhisneck，andbecastintothedeepestsea。
Liveandthrive，myprettybaby！\"Herehekissedher。\"Liveandprosper，andbecomeintimethemotherofotherlittlechildren，liketheAngelswhobeholdTheFather’sface！\"
Hekissedheragain，gaveherupgentlytobothherparents，andwentout。
ButhewentnottoWales。No，heneverwenttoWales。Hewentstraightwayforanotherstrollaboutthetown，andhelookedinuponthepeopleattheirwork，andattheirplay，here，there，every-
there，andwherenot。ForhewasBarboxBrothersandCo。now，andhadtakenthousandsofpartnersintothesolitaryfirm。
Hehadatlengthgotbacktohishotelroom，andwasstandingbeforehisfirerefreshinghimselfwithaglassofhotdrinkwhichhehadstooduponthechimney-piece，whenheheardthetownclocksstriking，and，referringtohiswatch，foundtheeveningtohavesoslippedaway，thattheywerestrikingtwelve。Asheputuphiswatchagain，hiseyesmetthoseofhisreflectioninthechimney-
glass。
\"Why，it’syourbirthdayalready，\"hesaid，smiling。\"Youarelookingverywell。Iwishyoumanyhappyreturnsoftheday。\"
Hehadneverbeforebestowedthatwishuponhimself。\"ByJupiter！\"
hediscovered，\"italtersthewholecaseofrunningawayfromone’sbirthday！It’sathingtoexplaintoPhoebe。Besides，hereisquitealongstorytotellher，thathassprungoutoftheroadwithnostory。I’llgoback，insteadofgoingon。I’llgobackbymyfriendLamps’sUpXpresently。\"
HewentbacktoMugbyJunction，and，inpointoffact，heestablishedhimselfatMugbyJunction。Itwastheconvenientplacetolivein，forbrighteningPhoebe’slife。Itwastheconvenientplacetolivein，forhavinghertaughtmusicbyBeatrice。Itwastheconvenientplacetolivein，foroccasionallyborrowingPolly。
Itwastheconvenientplacetolivein，forbeingjoinedatwilltoallsortsofagreeableplacesandpersons。So，hebecamesettledthere，and，hishousestandinginanelevatedsituation，itisnoteworthyofhiminconclusion，asPollyherselfmight（notirreverently）haveputit：
\"TherewasanOldBarboxwholivedonahill，Andifheain’tgone，helivestherestill。\"
Herefollowsthesubstanceofwhatwasseen，heard，orotherwisepickedup，bythegentlemanforNowhere，inhiscarefulstudyoftheJunction。
CHAPTERIII——THEBOYATMUGBY
IamtheboyatMugby。That’saboutwhatIam。
Youdon’tknowwhatImean？Whatapity！ButIthinkyoudo。I
thinkyoumust。Lookhere。IamtheboyatwhatiscalledTheRefreshmentRoomatMugbyJunction，andwhat’sproudestboastis，thatitneveryetrefreshedamortalbeing。
UpinacorneroftheDownRefreshmentRoomatMugbyJunction，intheheightoftwenty-sevencrossdraughts（I’veoftencounted’emwhiletheybrushtheFirst-Classhairtwenty-sevenways），behindthebottles，amongtheglasses，boundedonthenor’westbythebeer，stoodprettyfartotherightofametallicobjectthat’sattimesthetea-urnandattimesthesoup-tureen，accordingtothenatureofthelasttwangimpartedtoitscontentswhicharethesamegroundwork，fendedofffromthetravellerbyabarrierofstalesponge-cakeserectedatopofthecounter，andlastlyexposedsidewaystotheglareofOurMissis’seye——youaskaBoysositiwated，nexttimeyoustopinahurryatMugby，foranythingtodrink；youtakeparticularnoticethathe’lltrytoseemnottohearyou，thathe’llappearinaabsentmannertosurveytheLinethroughatransparentmediumcomposedofyourheadandbody，andthathewon’tserveyouaslongasyoucanpossiblybearit。That’sme。
Whatalarkitis！WearetheModelEstablishment，weare，atMugby。OtherRefreshmentRoomssendtheirimperfectyoungladiesuptobefinishedoffbyourMissis。Forsomeoftheyoungladies，whenthey’renewtothebusiness，comeintoitmild！Ah！OurMissis，shesoontakesthatoutof’em。Why，Ioriginallycomeintothebusinessmeekmyself。ButOurMissis，shesoontookthatoutofME。
Whatadelightfullarkitis！IlookuponusRefreshmentersasockipyingtheonlyproudlyindependentfootingontheLine。There’sPapers，forinstance，——myhonourablefriend，ifhewillallowmetocallhimso，——himasbelongstoSmith’sbookstall。Why，henomoredarestobeuptoourRefreshmentinggamesthanhedarestojumpatopofalocomotivewithhersteamatfullpressure，andcutawayuponheralone，drivinghimself，atlimited-mailspeed。Papers，he’dgethisheadpunchedateverycompartment，first，second，andthird，thewholelengthofatrain，ifhewastoventurtoimitatemydemeanour。It’sthesamewiththeporters，thesamewiththeguards，thesamewiththeticketclerks，thesamethewholewayuptothesecretary，traffic-manager，orverychairman。Thereain’taoneamong’emonthenoblyindependentfootingweare。Didyouevercatchoneofthem，whenyouwantedanythingofhim，makingasystemofsurveyingtheLinethroughatransparentmediumcomposedofyourheadandbody？Ishouldhopenot。
YoushouldseeourBandoliningRoomatMugbyJunction。It’sledtobythedoorbehindthecounter，whichyou’llnoticeusuallystandsajar，andit’stheroomwhereOurMissisandouryoungladiesBandolinestheirhair。Youshouldsee’ematit，betwixttrains，Bandoliningaway，asiftheywasanointingthemselvesforthecombat。Whenyou’retelegraphed，youshouldseetheirnosesalla-
goingupwithscorn，asifitwasapartoftheworkingofthesameCookeandWheatstoneelectricalmachinery。YoushouldhearOurMissisgivetheword，\"HerecomestheBeasttobeFed！\"andthenyoushouldsee’emindignantlyskippingacrosstheLine，fromtheUptotheDown，orWicerWarsaw，andbegintopitchthestalepastryintotheplates，andchuckthesawdustsangwichesundertheglasscovers，andgetoutthe——ha，ha，ha！——thesherry，——Omyeye，myeye！——foryourRefreshment。
It’sonlyintheIsleoftheBraveandLandoftheFree（bywhich，ofcourse，ImeantosayBritannia）thatRefreshmentingissoeffective，so’olesome，soconstitutionalacheckuponthepublic。
TherewasaForeigner，whichhavingpolitely，withhishatoff，beseechedouryoungladiesandOurMissisfor\"aleetelglosshostprarndee，\"andhavinghadtheLinesurveyedthroughhimbyallandnootheracknowledgment，wasa-proceedingatlasttohelphimself，asseemstobethecustominhisowncountry，whenOurMissis，withherhairalmosta-comingun-Bandolinedwithrage，andhereyesomittingsparks，flewathim，cotchedthedecanteroutofhishand，andsaid，\"Putitdown！Iwon’tallowthat！\"Theforeignerturnedpale，steppedbackwithhisarmsstretchedoutinfrontofhim，hishandsclasped，andhisshouldersriz，andexclaimed：\"Ah！Isitpossible，this！Thatthesedisdaineousfemalesandthisferociousoldwomanareplacedherebytheadministration，notonlytoempoisonthevoyagers，buttoaffrontthem！GreatHeaven！Howarrivesit？TheEnglishpeople。Orishethenaslave？Oridiot？\"
Anothertime，amerry，wideawakeAmericangenthadtriedthesawdustandspititout，andhadtriedtheSherryandspitthatout，andhadtriedinvaintosustainexhaustednaturuponButter-Scotch，andhadbeenratherextraBandolinedandLine-surveyedthrough，when，asthebellwasringingandhepaidOurMissis，hesays，veryloudandgood-tempered：\"ItellYewwhat’tis，ma’arm。Ila’af。Theer！I
la’af。IDew。Ioughterha’seenmostthings，forIhailfromtheOnlimitedsideoftheAtlanticOcean，andIhaivetravelledrightslickovertheLimited，headonthroughJeerusalemmandtheEast，andlikewaysFranceandItaly，EuropeOldWorld，andamnowuponthetracktotheChiefEuropianVillage；butsuchanInstitutionasYew，andYeweryoungladies，andYewerfixin’ssolidandliquid，aforethegloriousTarnalIneverdidseeyet！AndifIhain’tfoundtheeighthwonderofmonarchicalCreation，infindingYewandYeweryoungladies，andYewerfixin’ssolidandliquid，allasaforesaid，establishedinacountrywherethepeopleairnotabsoluteLoo-
naticks，IamExtraDoubleDarnedwithaNipandFrizzletotheinnermostestgrit！Wheerfur——Theer！——Ila’af！IDew，ma’arm。I
la’af！\"Andsohewent，stampingandshakinghissides，alongtheplatformallthewaytohisowncompartment。
IthinkitwasherstandingupagintheForeignerasgiv’OurMissistheideaofgoingovertoFrance，anddroringacomparisonbetwixtRefreshmentingasfollowedamongthefrog-eaters，andRefreshmentingastriumphantintheIsleoftheBraveandLandoftheFree（bywhich，ofcourse，Imeantosayagin，Britannia）。Ouryoungladies，MissWhiff，MissPiff，andMrs。Sniff，wasunanimousopposedtohergoing；for，astheysaystoOurMissisoneandall，itiswellbeknowntothehendsoftheherthasnoothernationexceptBritainhasaideaofanythink，butaboveallofbusiness。Whythenshouldyoutireyourselftoprovewhatisalreadyproved？OurMissis，however（beingateazeratallpints）stoodoutgrimobstinate，andgotareturnpassbySoutheasternTidal，togorightthrough，ifsuchshouldbeherdispositions，toMarseilles。
SniffishusbandtoMrs。Sniff，andisaregularinsignificantcove。
Helooksarterthesawdustdepartmentinabackroom，andissometimes，whenweareveryhardputtoit，letbehindthecounterwithacorkscrew；butneverwhenitcanbehelped，hisdemeanourtowardsthepublicbeingdisgustingservile。HowMrs。Sniffevercomesofartolowerherselfastomarryhim，Idon’tknow；butI
supposehedoes，andIshouldthinkhewishedhedidn’t，forheleadsaawfullife。Mrs。Sniffcouldn’tbemuchharderwithhimifhewaspublic。Similarly，MissWhiffandMissPiff，takingthetoneofMrs。Sniff，theyshoulderSniffaboutwhenheISletinwithacorkscrew，andtheywhiskthingsoutofhishandswheninhisservilityheisa-goingtoletthepublichave’em，andtheysnaphimupwheninthecrawlingbasenessofhisspiritheisa-goingtoanswerapublicquestion，andtheydroremoretearsintohiseyesthaneverthemustarddoeswhichhealldaylonglaysontothesawdust。（Butitain’tstrong。）Once，whenSniffhadtherepulsivenesstoreachacrosstogetthemilk-pottohandoverforababy，IseeOurMissisinherragecatchhimbybothhisshoulders，andspinhimoutintotheBandoliningRoom。
ButMrs。Sniff，——howdifferent！She’stheone！She’stheoneasyou’llnoticetobealwayslookinganotherwayfromyou，whenyoulookather。She’stheonewiththesmallwaistbuckledintightinfront，andwiththelacecuffsatherwrists，whichsheputsontheedgeofthecounterbeforeher，andstandsasmoothingwhilethepublicfoams。ThissmoothingthecuffsandlookinganotherwaywhilethepublicfoamsisthelastaccomplishmenttaughttotheyoungladiesascometoMugbytobefinishedbyOurMissis；andit’salwaystaughtbyMrs。Sniff。
WhenOurMissiswentawayuponherjourney，Mrs。Sniffwasleftincharge。Shedidholdthepublicincheckmostbeautiful！Inallmytime，Ineverseehalfsomanycupsofteagivenwithoutmilktopeopleaswanteditwith，norhalfsomanycupsofteawithmilkgiventopeopleaswanteditwithout。Whenfoamingensued，Mrs。
Sniffwouldsay：\"Thenyou’dbettersettleitamongyourselves，andchangewithoneanother。\"Itwasamosthighlydeliciouslark。I
enjoyedtheRefreshmentingbusinessmorethanever，andwassogladIhadtooktoitwhenyoung。
OurMissisreturned。Itgotcirculatedamongtheyoungladies，anditasitmightbepenetratedtomethroughthecrevicesoftheBandoliningRoom，thatshehadOrrorstoreveal，ifrevelationssocontemptiblecouldbedignifiedwiththename。Agitationbecomeawakened。Excitementwasupinthestirrups。Expectationstooda-
tiptoe。Atlengthitwasputforththatonourslackedeveningintheweek，andatourslackesttimeofthateveningbetwixttrains，OurMissiswouldgiveherviewsofforeignRefreshmenting，intheBandoliningRoom。
Itwasarrangedtastefulforthepurpose。TheBandoliningtableandglasswashidinacorner，aarm-chairwaselevatedonapacking-
caseforOurMissis’sockypation，atableandatumblerofwater（nosherryinit，thankee）wasplacedbesideit。Twoofthepupils，theseasonbeingautumn，andhollyhocksanddahliasbeingin，ornamentedthewallwiththreedevicesinthoseflowers。Ononemightberead，\"MAYALBIONNEVERLEARN；\"onanother\"KEEPTHEPUBLICDOWN；\"onanother，\"OURREFRESHMENTINGCHARTER。\"Thewholehadabeautifulappearance，withwhichthebeautyofthesentimentscorresponded。
OnOurMissis’sbrowwaswroteSeverity，assheascendedthefatalplatform。（Notthatthatwasanythinknew。）MissWhiffandMissPiffsatatherfeet。ThreechairsfromtheWaitingRoommighthavebeenperceivedbyaaverageeye，infrontofher，onwhichthepupilswasaccommodated。BehindthemaverycloseobservermighthavediscernedaBoy。Myself。
\"Where，\"saidOurMissis，glancinggloomilyaround，\"isSniff？\"
\"Ithoughtitbetter，\"answeredMrs。Sniff，\"thatheshouldnotbelettocomein。HeissuchanAss。\"
\"Nodoubt，\"assentedOurMissis。\"Butforthatreasonisitnotdesirabletoimprovehismind？\"
\"Oh，nothingwilleverimproveHIM，\"saidMrs。Sniff。
\"However，\"pursuedOurMissis，\"callhimin，Ezekiel。\"
Icalledhimin。Theappearanceofthelow-mindedcovewashailedwithdisapprobationfromallsides，onaccountofhishavingbroughthiscorkscrewwithhim。Hepleaded\"theforceofhabit。\"
\"Theforce！\"saidMrs。Sniff。\"Don’tletushaveyoutalkingaboutforce，forGracious’sake。There！Dostandstillwhereyouare，withyourbackagainstthewall。\"
Heisasmilingpieceofvacancy，andhesmiledinthemeanwayinwhichhewillevensmileatthepublicifhegetsachance（languagecansaynomeanerofhim），andhestooduprightnearthedoorwiththebackofhisheadaginthewall，asifhewasawaitingforsomebodytocomeandmeasurehisheighthfortheArmy。
\"Ishouldnotenter，ladies，\"saysOurMissis，\"ontherevoltingdisclosuresIamabouttomake，ifitwasnotinthehopethattheywillcauseyoutobeyetmoreimplacableintheexerciseofthepoweryouwieldinaconstitutionalcountry，andyetmoredevotedtotheconstitutionalmottowhichIseebeforeme，\"——itwasbehindher，butthewordssoundedbetterso，——\"’MayAlbionneverlearn！’\"
Herethepupilsashadmadethemottoadmiredit，andcried，\"Hear！
Hear！Hear！\"Sniff，showinganinclinationtojoininchorus，gothimselffrowneddownbyeverybrow。
\"ThebasenessoftheFrench，\"pursuedOurMissis，\"asdisplayedinthefawningnatureoftheirRefreshmenting，equals，ifnotsurpasses，anythinkaswaseverheardofthebasenessofthecelebratedBonaparte。\"
MissWhiff，MissPiff，andme，wedroredaheavybreath，equaltosaying，\"Wethoughtasmuch！\"MissWhiffandMissPiffseemingtoobjecttomydroringminealongwiththeirs，Idroredanothertoaggravate’em。
\"ShallIbebelieved，\"saysOurMissis，withflashingeyes，\"whenI
tellyouthatnosoonerhadIsetmyfootuponthattreacherousshore——\"
HereSniff，eitherburstingoutmad，orthinkingaloud，says，inalowvoice：\"Feet。Plural，youknow。\"
Thecoweringthatcomeuponhimwhenhewasspurnedbyalleyes，addedtohisbeingbeneathcontempt，wassufficientpunishmentforacovesogrovelling。Inthemidstofasilencerenderedmoreimpressivebytheturned-upfemalenoseswithwhichitwaspervaded，OurMissiswenton：
\"ShallIbebelievedwhenItellyou，thatnosoonerhadIlanded，\"
thiswordwithakillinglookatSniff，\"onthattreacherousshore，thanIwasusheredintoaRefreshmentRoomwheretherewere——Idonotexaggerate——actuallyeatablethingstoeat？\"
Agroanburstfromtheladies。Inotonlydidmyselfthehonourofjining，butalsooflengtheningitout。
\"Wheretherewere，\"OurMissisadded，\"notonlyeatablethingstoeat，butalsodrinkablethingstodrink？\"
Amurmur，swellingalmostintoascream，ariz。MissPiff，tremblingwithindignation，calledout，\"Name？\"
\"IWILLname，\"saidOurMissis。\"Therewasroastfowls，hotandcold；therewassmokingroastvealsurroundedwithbrownedpotatoes；
therewashotsoupwith（againIaskshallIbecredited？）nothingbitterinit，andnoflourtochokeofftheconsumer；therewasavarietyofcolddishessetoffwithjelly；therewassalad；therewas——markme！FRESHpastry，andthatofalightconstruction；therewasalusciousshowoffruit；therewasbottlesanddecantersofsoundsmallwine，ofeverysize，andadaptedtoeverypocket；thesameodiousstatementwillapplytobrandy；andtheseweresetoutuponthecountersothatallcouldhelpthemselves。\"
OurMissis’slipssoquivered，thatMrs。Sniff，thoughscarcelylessconvulsedthanshewere，gotupandheldthetumblertothem。
\"This，\"proceedsOurMissis，\"wasmyfirstunconstitutionalexperience。Wellwouldithavebeenifithadbeenmylastandworst。Butno。AsIproceededfartherintothatenslavedandignorantland，itsaspectbecamemorehideous。IneednotexplaintothisassemblytheingredientsandformationoftheBritishRefreshmentsangwich？\"
Universallaughter，——exceptfromSniff，who，assangwich-cutter，shookhisheadinastateoftheutmostdejectionashestoodwithitaginthewall。
\"Well！\"saidOurMissis，withdilatednostrils。\"Takeafresh，crisp，long，crustypennyloafmadeofthewhitestandbestflour。
Cutitlongwisethroughthemiddle。Insertafairandnicelyfittingsliceofham。Tieasmartpieceofribbonroundthemiddleofthewholetobindittogether。Addatoneendaneatwrapperofcleanwhitepaperbywhichtoholdit。AndtheuniversalFrenchRefreshmentsangwichbustsonyourdisgustedvision。\"
Acryof\"Shame！\"fromall——exceptSniff，whichrubbedhisstomachwithasoothinghand。
\"Ineednot，\"saidOurMissis，\"explaintothisassemblytheusualformationandfittingoftheBritishRefreshmentRoom？\"
No，no，andlaughter。Sniffaginshakinghisheadinlowspiritsaginthewall。
\"Well，\"saidOurMissis，\"whatwouldyousaytoageneraldecorationofeverythink，tohangings（sometimeselegant），toeasyvelvetfurniture，toabundanceoflittletables，toabundanceoflittleseats，tobriskbrightwaiters，togreatconvenience，toapervadingcleanlinessandtastefulnesspositivelyaddressingthepublic，andmakingtheBeastthinkingitselfworththepains？\"
Contemptuousfuryonthepartofalltheladies。Mrs。Snifflookingasifshewantedsomebodytoholdher，andeverbodyelselookingasifthey’draythernot。
\"Threetimes，\"saidOurMissis，workingherselfintoatrulyterrimenjiousstate，——\"threetimesdidIseetheseshamefulthings，onlybetweenthecoastandParis，andnotcountingeither：atHazebroucke，atArras，atAmiens。Butworseremains。Tellme，whatwouldyoucallapersonwhoshouldproposeinEnglandthatthereshouldbekept，sayatourownmodelMugbyJunction，prettybaskets，eachholdinganassortedcoldlunchanddessertforone，eachatacertainfixedprice，andeachwithinapassenger’spowertotakeaway，toemptyinthecarriageatperfectleisure，andtoreturnatanotherstationfiftyorahundredmilesfartheron？\"
Therewasdisagreementwhatsuchapersonshouldbecalled。Whetherrevolutionise，atheist，Bright（Isaidhim），orUn-English。MissPiffscreechedhershrillopinionlast，inthewords：\"Amalignantmaniac！\"
\"Iadopt，\"saysOurMissis，\"thebrandsetuponsuchapersonbytherighteousindignationofmyfriendMissPiff。Amalignantmaniac。
Know，then，thatthatmalignantmaniachassprungfromthecongenialsoilofFrance，andthathismalignantmadnesswasinuncheckedactiononthissamepartofmyjourney。\"
InoticedthatSniffwasa-rubbinghishands，andthatMrs。Sniffhadgothereyeuponhim。ButIdidnottakemoreparticularnotice，owingtotheexcitedstateinwhichtheyoungladieswas，andtofeelingmyselfcalledupontokeepitupwithahowl。
\"OnmyexperiencesouthofParis，\"saidOurMissis，inadeeptone，\"Iwillnotexpatiate。Tooloathsomewerethetask！Butfancythis。Fancyaguardcominground，withthetrainatfullspeed，toinquirehowmanyfordinner。Fancyhistelegraphingforwardthenumberofdinners。Fancyeveryoneexpected，andthetableelegantlylaidforthecompleteparty。Fancyacharmingdinner，inacharmingroom，andthehead-cook，concernedforthehonourofeverydish，superintendinginhiscleanwhitejacketandcap。FancytheBeasttravellingsixhundredmilesonend，veryfast，andwithgreatpunctuality，yetbeingtaughttoexpectallthistobedoneforit！\"
Aspiritedchorusof\"TheBeast！\"
InoticedthatSniffwasagina-rubbinghisstomachwithasoothinghand，andthathehaddroreduponeleg。ButaginIdidn’ttakeparticularnotice，lookingonmyselfascalledupontostimulatepublicfeeling。Itbeingalarkbesides。
\"Puttingeverythingtogether，\"saidOurMissis，\"FrenchRefreshmentingcomestothis，andoh，itcomestoanicetotal！
First：eatablethingstoeat，anddrinkablethingstodrink。\"
Agroanfromtheyoungladies，kep’upbyme。
\"Second：convenience，andevenelegance。\"
Anothergroanfromtheyoungladies，kep’upbyme。
\"Third：moderatecharges。\"
Thistimeagroanfromme，kep’upbytheyoungladies。
\"Fourth：-andhere，\"saysOurMissis，\"Iclaimyourangriestsympathy，——attention，commoncivility，nay，evenpoliteness！\"
Meandtheyoungladiesregularlyragingmadalltogether。
\"AndIcannotinconclusion，\"saysOurMissis，withherspitefullestsneer，\"giveyouacompleterpicturofthatdespicablenation（afterwhatIhaverelated），thanassuringyouthattheywouldn’tbearourconstitutionalwaysandnobleindependenceatMugbyJunction，forasinglemonth，andthattheywouldturnustotheright-aboutandputanothersysteminourplaces，assoonaslookatus；perhapssooner，forIdonotbelievetheyhavethegoodtastetocaretolookatustwice。\"
Theswellingtumultwasarrestedinitsrise。Sniff，boreawaybyhisserviledisposition，haddroreduphislegwithahigherandahigherrelish，andwasnowdiscoveredtobewavinghiscorkscrewoverhishead。ItwasatthismomentthatMrs。Sniff，whohadkep’
hereyeuponhimlikethefabledobelisk，descendedonhervictim。
OurMissisfollowedthembothout，andcrieswasheardinthesawdustdepartment。
YoucomeintotheDownRefreshmentRoom，attheJunction，makingbelieveyoudon’tknowme，andI’llpintyououtwithmyrightthumbovermyshoulderwhichisOurMissis，andwhichisMissWhiff，andwhichisMissPiff，andwhichisMrs。Sniff。Butyouwon’tgetachancetoseeSniff，becausehedisappearedthatnight。Whetherheperished，toretopieces，Icannotsay；buthiscorkscrewaloneremains，tobearwitnesstotheservilityofhisdisposition。