1910。
ACHRISTIAN
Onedaythatsummer，IcameawayfromaluncheonincompanyofanoldCollegechum。Alwaysexcitingtomeetthoseonehasn’tseenforyears；andaswewalkedacrosstheParktogetherIkeptlookingathimaskance。Hehadalteredagooddeal。Leanhealwayswas，butnowverylean，andsouprightthathisparson’scoatwasoverhungbythebackofhislongandnarrowhead，withitsdarkgrizzledhair，whichthoughthadnotyetloosenedonhisforehead。Hisclean-shornface，sothinandoblong，wasremarkableonlyfortheeyes：dark-
browedandlashed，andcolouredlikebrightsteel，theyhadafixityinthem，asortofabsence，ononecouldn’ttellwhatbusiness。Theymademethinkoftorture。Andhismouthalwaysgentlysmiling，asifitspinchedcurlysweetnesshadbeencommanded，wasthemouthofamancrucified——yes，crucified！
Trampingsilentlyovertheparchedgrass，Ifeltthatifwetalked，wemustinfalliblydisagree；hisstraight-up，narrowforeheadsosuggestedanaturedividedwithinitselfintocompartmentsofiron。
Itwashotthatday，andwerestedpresentlybesidetheSerpentine。
Onitsbrightwatersweretheusualyoungmen，scullingthemselvestoandfrowiththeirusualsadenergy，theusualpromenadersloiteringandwatchingthem，theusualdogthatswamwhenitdidnotbark，andbarkedwhenitdidnotswim；andmyfriendsatsmiling，twistingbetweenhisthinfingersthelittlegoldcrossonhissilkvest。
Thenallofasuddenwedidbegintotalk；andnotofthosemattersofwhichthewell-brednaturallyconverse——thehabitsoftherarerkindsofducks，andthecareersofourCollegefriends，butofsomethingnevermentionedinpolitesociety。
Atlunchourhostesshadtoldmethesadstoryofanunhappymarriage，andIhaditchedspirituallytofindoutwhatmyfriend，whoseemedsofarawayfromme，feltaboutsuchthings。AndnowI
determinedtofindout。
\"Tellme，\"Iaskedhim，\"whichdoyouconsidermostimportant——theletterorthespiritofChrist’steachings？\"
\"Mydearfellow，\"heansweredgently，\"whataquestion！Howcanyouseparatethem？\"
\"Well，isitnottheessenceofHisdoctrinethatthespiritisallimportant，andtheformsoflittlevalue？DoesnotthatrunthroughalltheSermonontheMount？\"
\"Certainly。\"
\"If，then，\"Isaid，\"Christ’steachingisconcernedwiththespirit，doyouconsiderthatChristiansarejustifiedinholdingothersboundbyformalrulesofconduct，withoutreferencetowhatispassingintheirspirits？\"
\"Ifitisfortheirgood。\"
\"Whatenablesyoutodecidewhatisfortheirgood？\"
\"Surely，wearetold。\"
\"Nottojudge，thatyebenotjudged。\"
\"Oh！butwedonot，ourselves，judge；wearebutimpersonalministersoftherulesofGod。\"
\"Ah！Dogeneralrulesofconducttakeaccountofthevariationsoftheindividualspirit？\"
Helookedatmehard，asifhebegantoscentheresy。
\"Youhadbetterexplainyourselfmorefully，\"hesaid。\"Ireallydon’tfollow。\"
\"Well，letustakeaconcreteinstance。WeknowChrist’ssayingofthemarriedthattheyareoneflesh！Butweknowalsothattherearewiveswhocontinuetolivethemarriedlifewithdreadfulfeelingsofspiritualrevoltwiveswhohavefoundoutthat，inspiteofalltheirefforts，theyhavenospiritualaffinitywiththeirhusbands。IsthatinaccordancewiththespiritofChrist’steaching，orisitnot？\"
\"Wearetold————\"hebegan。
\"Ihaveadmittedthedefinitecommandment：’Theytwainshallbeoneflesh。’Therecouldnotbe，seemingly，anymorerigidlawlaiddown；
howdoyoureconcileitwiththeessenceofChrist’steaching？
Frankly，Iwanttoknow：IsthereoristherenotaspiritualcoherenceinChristianity，orisitonlyagatheringoflawsandprecepts，withnoinherentconnectedspiritualphilosophy？\"
\"Ofcourse，\"hesaid，inhislong-sufferingvoice，\"wedon’tlookatthingslikethat——forusthereisnoquestioning。\"
\"ButhowdoyoureconcilesuchmarriagesasIspeakof，withthespiritofChrist’steaching？Ithinkyououghttoanswerme。\"
\"Oh！Ican，perfectly，\"heanswered；\"thereconciliationisthroughsuffering。Whatapoorwomaninsuchacasemustsuffermakesforthesalvationofherspirit。Thatisthespiritualfulfilment，andinsuchacasethejustificationofthelaw。\"
\"Sothen，\"Isaid，\"sacrificeorsufferingisthecoherentthreadofChristianphilosophy？\"
\"Sufferingcheerfullyborne，\"heanswered。
\"Youdonotthink，\"Isaid，\"thatthereisatouchofextravaganceinthat？Wouldyousay，forexample，thatanunhappymarriageisamoreChristianthingthanahappyone，wherethereisnosuffering，butonlylove？\"
Alinecamebetweenhisbrows。\"Well！\"hesaidatlast，\"Iwouldsay，Ithink，thatawomanwhocrucifiesherfleshwithacheerfulspiritinobediencetoGod’slaw，standshigherintheeyesofGodthanonewhoundergoesnosuchsacrificeinhermarriedlife。\"AndI
hadthefeelingthathisstarewaspassingthroughme，onitswaytoanunseengoal。
\"Youwoulddesire，then，Isuppose，sufferingasthegreatestblessingforyourself？\"
\"Humbly，\"hesaid，\"Iwouldtryto。\"
\"Andnaturally，forothers？\"
\"Godforbid！\"
\"Butsurelythatisinconsistent。\"
Hemurmured：\"Yousee，Ihavesuffered。\"
Weweresilent。AtlastIsaid：\"Yes，thatmakesmuchwhichwasdarkquitecleartome。\"
\"Oh？\"heasked。
Iansweredslowly：\"Notmanymen，youknow，eveninyourprofession，havereallysuffered。Thatiswhytheydonotfeelthedifficultywhichyoufeelindesiringsufferingforothers。\"
HethrewuphisheadexactlyasifIhadhithimonthejaw：\"It’sweaknessinme，Iknow，\"hesaid。
\"Ishouldhaverathercalleditweaknessinthem。Butsupposeyouareright，andthatit’sweaknessnottobeabletodesirepromiscuoussufferingforothers，wouldyougofurtherandsaythatitisChristianforthose，whohavenotexperiencedacertainkindofsuffering，toforcethatparticularkindonothers？\"
Hesatsilentforafullminute，tryingevidentlytoreachtothebottomofmythought。
\"Surelynot，\"hesaidatlast，\"exceptasministersofGod’slaws。\"
\"YoudonotthenthinkthatitisChristianforthehusbandofsuchawomantokeepherinthatstateofsuffering——notbeing，ofcourse，aministerofGod？\"
Hebeganstammeringatthat：\"I——I————\"hesaid。\"No；thatis，I
thinknot-notChristian。No，certainly。\"
\"Then，suchamarriage，ifpersistedin，makesofthewifeindeedaChristian，butofthehusband——thereverse。\"
\"Theanswertothatisclear，\"hesaidquietly：\"Thehusbandmustabstain。\"
\"Yes，thatis，perhaps，coherentlyChristian，onyourtheory：Theywouldthenbothsuffer。Butthemarriage，ofcourse，hasbecomenomarriage。Theyarenolongeroneflesh。\"
Helookedatme，almostimpatientlyasiftosay：Donotcompelmetoenforcesilenceonyou！
\"But，suppose，\"Iwenton，\"andthis，youknow；isthemorefrequentcase，themanrefusestoabstain。WouldyouthensayitwasmoreChristiantoallowhimtobecomedailylessChristianthroughhisunchristianconduct，thantorelievethewomanofhersufferingattheexpenseofthespiritualbenefitshethencederives？Why，infact，doyoufavouronecasemorethantheother？\"
\"Allquestionofrelief，\"hereplied，\"isamatterforCaesar；itcannotconcernme。\"
Therehadcomeintohisfacearigidity——asifImighthititwithmyquestionstillmytonguewastired，anditbenomoremovedthan。
thebenchonwhichweweresitting。
\"Onemorequestion，\"Isaid，\"andIhavedone。SincetheChristianteachingisconcernedwiththespiritandnotforms，andthethreadinitwhichbindsalltogetherandmakesitcoherent，isthatofsuffering————\"
\"Redemptionbysuffering，\"heputin。
\"Ifyouwill——inoneword，self-crucifixion——Imustaskyou，anddon’ttakeitpersonally，becauseofwhatyoutoldmeofyourself：Inlifegenerally，onedoesnotacceptfrompeopleanyteachingthatisnottheresultoffirsthandexperienceontheirparts。DoyoubelievethatthisChristianteachingofyoursisvalidfromthemouthsofthosewhohavenotthemselvessuffered——whohavenotthemselves，asitwere，beencrucified？\"
Hedidnotanswerforaminute；thenhesaid，withpainfulslowness：
\"Christlaidhandsonhisapostlesandsentthemforth；andtheyinturn，andsoon，toourday。\"
\"Doyousay，then，thatthisguaranteesthattheyhavethemselvessuffered，sothatinspirittheyareidentifiedwiththeirteaching？\"
Heansweredbravely：\"No——Idonot——Icannotsaythatinfactitisalwaysso。\"
\"Isnotthentheirteachingbornofforms，andnotofthespirit？\"
Herose；andwithasortofdeepsorrowatmystubbornnesssaid：\"Wearenotpermittedtoknowthewayofthis；itissoordained；wemusthavefaith。\"
Ashestoodthere，turnedfromme，withhishatoff，andhisneckpainfullyflushedunderthesharpoutcurveofhisdarkhead，afeelingofpitysurgedupinme，asifIhadtakenanunfairadvantage。
\"Reason——coherence——philosophy，\"hesaidsuddenly。\"Youdon’tunderstand。Allthatisnothingtome——nothing——nothing！\"
1911
WINDINTHEROCKS
Thoughdew-darkwhenwesetforth，therewasstealingintothefrozenairaninvisiblewhitehostofthewan-wingedlight——bornbeyondthemountains，andalready，likeadriftofdoves，harbouringgrey-whitehighuponthesnowyskycavesofMonteCristallo；andwithinus，trampingoverthevalleymeadows，wastheincredibleelationofthosewhosetoutbeforethesunhasrisen；everyminuteofthepreciousdaybeforeus——wehadnotlostone！
Atthemouthofthatenchantedchine，acrosswhichforamillionyearsthehowdahedrockelephanthasmarched，butneveryetpassedfromsight，wecrossedthestream，andamongthetreesbeganourascent。Veryfarawaythefirstcowbellschimed；and，overthedarkheights，wesawthethin，sinkingmoon，lookinglikethewhitehornsofsomedevotionalbeastwatchingandwaitingupthereforthegodoflight。Thatgodcameslowly，stalkingacrossfaroverourheadsfromtoptotop；then，ofasudden，hisflame-whiteformwasseenstandinginagapofthevalleywalls；thetreesflungthemselvesalongthegroundbeforehim，andcensersofpinegumbeganswinginginthedarkaisles，releasingtheirperfumedsteam。Throughoutthesehappyravineswherenomanlives，heshowshimselfnakedandunashamed，thecolourofpalehoney；onhisgoldenhairsuchshiningasonehasnotelsewhereseen；hiseyeslikeoldwineonfire。Andalreadyhehadswepthishandacrosstheinvisiblestrings，fortherehadarisen，themusicofuncurlingleavesandflittingthings。
Alegendruns，that，drivenfromlandtolandbyChristians，ApollohidhimselfinLowerAustria，butthosewhoevertheysawhimthereinthethirteenthcenturywerewrong；itwastotheseenchantedchines，frequentedonlybythemountainshepherds，thathecertainlycame。
Andaswewerelyingonthegrass，ofthefirstalp，withthestargentians——thosefallendropsofthesky——andtheburnt-browndandelions，andscatteredshrubsofalpen-roseroundus，wewerevisitedbyoneoftheseveryshepherds，passingwithhisflock——thefiercest-lookingmanwhoever，spokeinagentlevoice；sixfeethigh，withanorangecloak，bareknees；burntastheverydandelions，abeardblackerthanblack，andeyesmoregloriousthanifsunandnighthaddivedandwerelyingimprisonedintheirdepths。Hespokeinanunknowntongue，andcouldcertainlynotunderstandanywordofours；buthesmelledofthegoodearth，andonlythroughinterminablewatchesundersunandstarscouldsogreatagentlemanhavebeenperfected。
Presently，whilewerestedoutsidethatAlpinehutwhichfacesthethreesphinx-likemountains，therecameback，fromclimbingthesmallestandmostdangerousofthosepeaks，one，palefromheat，andtremblingwithfatigue；atallman，withlongbrownhands，andalong，thin，beardedface。And，ashesippedcautiouslyofredwineandwater，helookedathislittleconqueredmountain。Hiskindly，screwed-upeyes，hiskindly，beardedlips，evenhislimbsseemedsmiling；andnotfortheworldwouldwehavejarredwithwordsthatrapt，smilingman，enjoyingthesacredhourofhimwhohasjustprovedhimself。Insilencewewatched，insilencelefthimsmiling，knowingsomehowthatweshouldrememberhimallourdays。Fortherewasinhissmiletheglamourofadventurejustforthesakeofdanger；allthathighinstinctwhichtakesamanoutofhischairtobravewhatheneednot。
Betweenthathutandthethreemountainsliesasaddle——astrideofallbeautyandallcolour，masterofatitanicchaosofdeepclefts，tawnyheights，reddomes，farsnow，andthepurpleoflongshadows；
and，standingthere，wecomprehendedalittleofwhatEarthhadbeenthroughinhertime，tohavemadethisplaygroundformostgloriousdemons。MotherEarth！Whattravailundergone，whatlongheroicthroes，hadbroughtonherfacesuchmajesty！
Hereaboutedelweisswasclingingtosmoothed-outrubble；butalittlehigher，eventheeverlastingplantwaslost，therewasnomorelife。
Andpresentlywelaydownonthemountainside，ratherfarapart。Uphereabovetreesandpasturethewindhadastrange，barevoice，freefromallouterinfluence，sweepingalongwithacold，whiffingsound。
Onthewarmstones，infullsunlight，upliftedoverallthebeautyofItaly，onefeltatfirstonlydelightinspaceandwildloveliness，intheunknownvalleys，andthestrengthofthesun。Itwassogoodtobealive；soineffablygoodtobelivinginthismostwonderfulworld，drinkingairnectar。
Behindus，fromthethreemountains，camethefrequentthudandscuffleoffallingrocks，loosenedbyrains。Thewind，mist，andwintersnowhadgroundthepowderystonesonwhichwelaytoapleasantbed，butonceonatimethey，too，hadclungupthere。Andveryslowly，onecouldnotsayhoworwhen，thesenseofjoybeganchangingtoasenseoffear。Theawfulimpersonalityofthosegreatrock-creatures，theterribleimpartialityofthatcold，clingingwindwhichsweptby，neveraninchliftedaboveground！Notonetinysoul，thesizeofamidgeorrockflower，livedhere。Notonelittle\"I\"breathedhere，andloved！
Andwe，too，somedaywouldnolongerlove，havingbecomepartofthismonstrous，lovelyearth，ofthatcold，whifflingair。Tobenolongerabletolove！Itseemedincredible，toogrimtobear；yetitwastrue！Tobecomepowder，andthewind；nomoretofeelthesunlight；tobelovednomore！Tobecomeawhifflingnoise，cold，withoutone’sself！Todriftonthebreathofthatnoise，homeless！
Uphere，therewerenoteventhoselittlevelvet，grey-whiteflower-
comradeswehadplucked。Nolife！Nothingbutthecreepingwind，andthosegreatrockyheights，whencecamethesoundoffalling-
symbolsofthatcold，untimelystateintowhichwe，too，mustpass。
Nevermoretolove，nortobeloved！Onecouldbutturntotheearth，andpressone’sfacetoit，awayfromthewildloveliness。Ofwhatuselovelinessthatmustbelost；ofwhatuselovelinesswhenonecouldnotlove？Theearthwaswarmandfirmbeneaththepalmsofthehands；buttherestillcamethesoundoftheimpartialwind，andthecarelessroarofthestoriesfalling。
Below，inthosevalleysamongstthelivingtreesandgrass，wasthecomradeshipofunnumberedlife，sothattopassoutintoPeace，tostepbeyond，todie，seemedbutabrotherlyact，amongstallthoseothers；butuphere，wherenocreaturebreathed，wesawtheheartofthedesertthatstretchesbeforeeachlittlehumansoul。Uphere，itfrozethespirit；evenPeaceseemedmocking——hardasastone。Yet，totryandhide，totuckone’sheadunderone’sownwing，wasnotpossibleinthisairsocrystalclear，sofaraboveincenseandthenarcoticsofsetcreeds，andthefeveredbreathofprayersandprotestations。Eventoknowthatbetweenorganicandinorganicmatterthereisnogulffixed，wasofnopeculiarcomfort。Thejealouswindcamecreepingoverthelifelesslimestone，removingeventhepoorsolaceofitswarmth；oneturnedfromit，desperate，tolookupatthesky，theblue，burning，wide，ineffable，farsky。
Thenslowly，withoutreason，thaticyfearpassedintoafeeling，notofjoy，notofpeace，butasifLifeandDeathwereexaltedintowhatwasneitherlifenordeath，astrangeandmotionlessvibration，inwhichonehadbeenmerged，andrested，utterlycontent，equipoised，divestedofdesire，endowedwithlifeanddeath。
Butsincethismomenthadcomebeforeitstime，wegotup，and，closetogether，marchedonrathersilently，inthehotsun。
1910。
MYDISTANTRELATIVE
ThoughIhadnotseenmydistantrelativeforyears——not，infact，sincehewasobligedtogiveVancouverIslandupasabadjob——Iknewhimatonce，when，withheadalittleononeside，andtea-cupheldhigh，asif，toconferablessing，hesaid：\"Hallo！\"acrosstheClubsmoking-room。
Thinasalath——notoneounceheavier——tall，andveryupright，withhispaleforehead，andpaleeyes，andpalebeard，hehadtheairofaghostofaman。Hehadalwayshadthatair。Andhisvoice——thatmatter-of-factandslightlynasalvoice，withitsthin，pragmaticaltone——waslikeawraithofoptimism，issuingbetweenpalelips。I
noticed；too，thathistownhabilimentsstillhadtheirunspeakablepaleneatness，asif，poorthings，theyweretryingtostarethedaylightoutofcountenance。
Hebroughthisteaacrosstomybaywindow，withthatwistfulsociabilityofhis，asofamanwhocannotalwaysfindalistener。
\"Butwhatareyoudoingintown？\"Isaid。\"IthoughtyouwereinYorkshirewithyouraunt。\"
Overhisround，lighteyes，fixedonsomethinginthestreet，thelidsfellquicklytwice，asthefilmfallsovertheeyesofaparrot。
\"I’mafterajob，\"heanswered。\"Mustbeonthespotjustnow。\"
AnditseemedtomethatIhadheardthosewordsfromhimbefore。
\"Ah，yes，\"Isaid，\"anddoyouthinkyou’llgetit？\"
ButevenasIspokeIfeltsorry，rememberinghowmanyjobshehadbeenafterinhistime，andhowsoontheyendedwhenhehadgotthem。
Heanswered：
\"Oh，yes！Theyoughttogiveitme，\"thenaddedrathersuddenly：
\"Youneverknow，though。Peoplearesofunny！\"
Andcrossinghisthinlegs，hewentontotellme，withquaintimpersonality，anumberofinstancesofhowpeoplehadbeenfunnyinconnectionwithjobshehadnotbeengiven。
\"Yousee，\"heended，\"thecountry’sinsuchastate——capitalgoingoutofiteveryday。Enterprisebeingkilledallovertheplace。
There’spracticallynothingtobehad！\"
\"Ah！\"Isaid，\"youthinkit’sworse，then，thanitusedtobe？\"
Hesmiled；inthatsmiletherewasashadeofpatronage。
\"We’regoingdown-hillasfastaseverwecan。Nationalcharacter’slosingallitsbackbone。Nowonder，withallthismolly-coddlinggoingon！\"
\"Oh！\"Imurmured，\"molly-coddling？Isn’tthatexcessive？\"
\"Well！Lookatthewayeverything’sbeingdoneforthem！Theworkingclassesarelosingtheir，self-respectasfastasevertheycan。Theirindependenceisgonealready！\"
\"Youthink？\"
\"Sureofit！I’llgiveyouaninstance————\"andhewentontodescribetomethedegeneracyofcertainworkingmenemployedbyhisauntandhiseldestbrotherClaudandhisyoungestbrotherAlan。
\"Theydon’tdoastrokemorethanthey’reobliged，\"heended；\"theyknowjollywellthey’vegottheirUnions，andtheirpensions，andthisInsurance，tofallbackon。\"
Itwasevidentlyasubjectonwhichhefeltstrongly。
\"Yes，\"hemuttered，\"thenationisbeingrotteddown。\"
Andafaintthrillofsurprisepassedthroughme。Fortheaffairsofthenationmovedhimsomuchmorestronglythanhisown。Hisvoicealreadyhadadifferentring，hiseyesadifferentlook。Heeagerlyleanedforward，andhislong，straightbackbonelookedlongerandstraighterthanever。Hewaslesstheghostofaman。Afaintflushevenhadcomeintohispalecheeks，andhemovedhiswell-kepthandsemphatically。
\"Oh，yes！\"hesaid：\"Thecountryisgoingtothedogs，rightenough；
butyoucan’tgetthemtoseeit。Theygoonsappingandsappingtheindependenceofthepeople。Iftheworkingman’stobelookedafter，whateverhedoes——whatonearth’stobecomeofhisgo，andforesight，andperseverance？\"
Inhisrisingvoiceacertainpiquancywaslefttoitsaccentoftherulingclassbythatfainttwang，whichcame，Iremembered，fromsomeslightdefectinhistonsils。
\"Markmywords！Solongaswe’reontheselines，weshalldonothing。It’sgoingagainstevolution。TheysayDarwin’sgettingold-fashioned；allIknowis，he’sgoodenoughforme。Competitionistheonlything。\"
\"Butcompetition，\"Isaid，\"isbittercruel，andsomepeoplecan’tstandagainstit！\"AndIlookedathimratherhard：\"Doyouobjecttoputtinganysortoffloorunderthefeetofpeoplelikethat？\"
Helethisvoicedropalittle，asifindeferencetomyscruples。
\"Ah！\"hesaid；\"butifyouoncebeginthissortofthing，there’snoendtoit。It’ssoinsidious。Themoretheyhave，themoretheywant；andallthetimethey’relosingfightingpower。I’vethoughtprettydeeplyaboutthis。It’sshortsighted；itreallydoesn’tdo！\"
\"But，\"Isaid，\"surelyyou’renotagainstsavingpeoplefrombeingknockedoutoftimebyoldage，andaccidentslikeillness，andthefluctuationsoftrade？\"
\"Oh！\"hesaid，\"I’mnotabitagainstcharity。AuntEmma’ssplendidaboutthat。AndClaud’sawfullygood。IdowhatIcan，myself。\"Helookedatme，soqueerlydeprecating，thatIquitelikedhimatthatmoment。Atheart——Ifelthewasagoodfellow。\"AllIthinkis，\"hewenton，\"thattogivethemsomethingthattheycanrelyonasamatterofcourse，apartfromtheirownexertions，isthewrongprinciplealtogether，\"andsuddenlyhisvoicebegantoriseagain，andhiseyestostare。\"I’mconvincedthatallthisdoingthingsforotherpeople，andbolsteringuptheweak，isrotten。Itstandstoreasonthatitmustbe。\"
Hehadrisentohisfeet，sopreoccupiedwiththewrongnessofthatprinciplethatheseemedtohaveforgottenmypresence。Andashestoodthereinthewindowthelightwastoostrongforhim。Allthethinincapacityofthatshadowyfigurewaspitilesslydisplayed；thedesperatenarrownessinthatlong，paleface；thewamblinglookofthosepale，well-kepthands——allthatmadehimsuchaghostofaman。
Buthisnasal，dogmaticvoiceroseandrose。
\"There’snothingforitbutbracingup！WemustcutawayallthisStatesupport；wemustteachthemtorelyonthemselves。It’sallsheerpauperisation。\"
Andsuddenlythereshotthroughmethefearthathemightburstoneofthoselittleblueveinsinhispaleforehead，sovehementhadhebecome；andhastilyIchangedthesubject。
\"Doyoulikelivinguptherewithyouraunt？\"Iasked：\"Isn’titabitquiet？\"
Heturned，asifIhadawakenedhimfromadream。
\"Oh，well！\"hesaid，\"it’sonlytillIgetthisjob。\"
\"Letmesee——howlongisitsinceyou————？\"
\"Fouryears。She’sverygladtohaveme，ofcourse。\"
\"Andhow’syourbrotherClaud？\"
\"Oh！Allright，thanks；abitworriedwiththeestate。Thepooroldgov’norleftitinratheramess，youknow。\"
\"Ah！Yes。Doeshedootherwork？\"
\"Oh！Alwaysbusyintheparish。\"
\"AndyourbrotherRichard？\"
\"He’sallright。Camehomethisyear。Gotjustenoughtoliveon，withhispension——hasn’tsavedarap，ofcourse。\"
\"AndWillie？Ishestilldelicate？\"
\"Yes。\"
\"I’msorry。\"
\"Easyjob，his，youknow。Andevenifhishealthdoesgiveout，hiscollegepalswillalwaysfindhimsomesortofsinecure。Sojollypopular，oldWillie！\"
\"AndAlan？Ihaven’theardanythingofhimsincehisPeruvianthingcametogrief。Hemarried，didn’the？\"
\"Rather！OneoftheBurleys。Nicegirl——heiress；lotofpropertyinHampshire。Helooksafteritforhernow。\"
\"Doesn’tdoanythingelse，Isuppose？\"
\"Keepsuphisantiquarianism。\"
Ihadexhaustedthemembersofhisfamily。
Then，asthoughbyelicitingthegoodfortunesofhisbrothersIhadcastsomesluruponhimself，hesaidsuddenly：\"Iftherailwayhadcome，asitoughttohave，whileIwasoutthere，Ishouldhavedonequitewellwithmyfruitfarm。\"
\"Ofcourse，\"Iagreed；\"itwasbadluck。Butafterall，you’resuretogetajobsoon，and——solongasyoucanliveuptherewithyouraunt——youcanaffordtowait，andnotbother。\"
\"Yes，\"hemurmured。AndIgotup。
\"Well，it’sbeenveryjollytohearaboutyouall！\"
Hefollowedmeout。
\"Awfullyglad，oldman，\"hesaid，\"tohaveseenyou，andhadthistalk。Iwasfeelingratherlow。WaitingtoknowwhetherIgetthatjob——it’snotlively。\"
HecamedowntheClubstepswithme。Bythedoorofmycabaloaferwasstanding；atalltatterdemalionwithapale，beardedface。Mydistantrelativefendedhimaway，andleaningthroughthewindow，murmured：\"Awfullotofthesechapsaboutnow！\"
ForthelifeofmeIcouldnothelplookingathimverystraight。
Butnoflickerofapprehensioncrossedhisface。
\"Well，good-byagain！\"hesaid：\"You’vecheeredmeupalot！\"
Iglancedbackfrommymovingcab。Somemonetarytransactionwaspassingbetweenhimandtheloafer，but，short-sightedasIam，I
founditdifficulttodecidewhichofthosetall，pale，beardedfigureswasgivingtheotheroneapenny。Andbysomestrangefreakanawfulvisionshotupbeforeme——ofmyself，andmydistantrelative，andClaud，andRichard，andWillie，andAlan，allsuddenlyrelyingonourselves。Itookoutmyhandkerchieftomopmybrow；butathoughtstruckme，andIputitback。Wasitpossibleforme，andmydistantrelatives，andtheirdistantrelatives，andsoontoinfinityofthosewhobelongedtoaclassprovidedbybirthwithacertainposition，raisedbyProvidenceontoaplatformmadeupofmoneyinherited，ofinterest，ofeducationfittingusforcertainprivilegedpursuits，offriendssimilarlyendowed，ofsubstantialhomes，andsubstantialrelativesofsomesortorother，onwhomwecouldfallback——wasitpossibleforanyofusevertobeinthepositionofhavingtorelyabsolutelyonourselves？ForseveralminutesIponderedthatquestion；andslowlyIcametotheconclusionthat，shortofcrime，orthatunlikelyevent，marooning，itwasnotpossible。Never，never——tryaswemight——couldanysingleoneofusbequiteinthepositionofoneofthosewhoseapproachingpauperisationmydistantrelativehadsovehementlydeplored。Wewerealreadypauperised。Ifweservedourcountry，wewerepensioned……Ifweinheritedland，itcouldnotbetakenfromus。
IfwewentintotheChurch，wewerethereforlife，whetherweweresuitableorno。Ifweattemptedthemorehazardousoccupationsofthelaw，medicine，thearts，orbusiness，therewerealwaysthosehomes，thoserelations，thosefriendsofourstofallbackon，ifwefailed。No！Wecouldneverhavetorelyentirelyonourselves；wecouldneverbepauperisedmorethanwewerealready！Andalightburstinonme。Thatexplainedwhymydistantrelativefeltsokeenly。Itbithim，forhesaw，ofcourse，howdreadfulitwouldbeforthesepoorpeopleoftheworkingclasseswhenlegislationhadsucceededinplacingtheminthehumiliatingpositioninwhichwealreadywere——thedreadfulpositionofhavingsomethingtodependonapartfromourownexertions，somesortofsecurityinourlives。
Isawitnow。Itwashissecretpride，gnawingathimallthetime，thatmadehimsorabidonthepoint。Hewaslonging，doubtless，dayandnight，nottohavehadafatherwhohadland，andhadleftasisterwellenoughofftokeephimwhilehewaswaitingforhisjob。
HemustbefeelinghowhorriblydegradingwasthepositionofClaud——
inheritingthatland；andofRichard，who，justbecausehehadservedintheIndianCivilService，hadgottoliveonapensionalltherestofhisdays；andofWillie，whowasindangeratanymoment，ifhishealth——alwaysdelicate——gaveout，ofhavingasinecurefoundforhimbyhiscollegefriends；andofAlan，whoseeducatedcharmhadenabledhimtomarryanheiressandlivebymanagingherestates。
All，allsappedofgoandforesightandperseverancebyacruelProvidence！Thatwaswhathewasreallyfeeling，andconcealing，becausehewastoowell-bredtoshowhissecretgrief。AndIfeltsuddenlyquitewarmtowardhim，nowthatIsawhowhewassuffering。
Iunderstoodhowboundhefeltinhonourtocombatwithallhisforcethisattempttoplaceothersinhisowndistressingsituation。AtthesametimeIwashonestenoughtoconfesstomyselfsittingthereinthecab——thatIdidnotpersonallysharethatprideofhis，orfeelthatIwasbeingrottedbymyownposition；Ievenfeltsomedimgratitudethatifmypowersgaveoutatanytime，andIhadnotsavedanything，Ishouldstillnotbeleftdestitutetofacetheprospectofableakandimpoverishedoldage；andIcouldnothelpaweakpleasureinthethoughtthatacertainrelativesecuritywasbeingguaranteedtothosepeopleoftheworkingclasseswhohadneverhaditbefore。AtthesamemomentIquitesawthattoaprouderandstrongerheartitmustindeedbebittertohavetositstillunderyourownsecurity，andevenmorebittertohavetowatchthatpauperisingsecuritycomingcloserandclosertoothers——forthegeneroussoulisalwaysmoreconcernedforothersthanforhimself。
Nodoubt，Ithought，iftruthwereknown，mydistantrelativeisconsumedwithlongingtochangeplaceswiththatloaferwhotriedtoopenthedoorofmycab——forsurelyhemustsee，asIdo，thatthatisjustwhathehimself——havingfailedtostandthepressureofcompetitioninhislife——wouldbedoingifitwerenotfortheaccidentofhisbirth，whichhassolamentablyinsuredhimagainstcomingtothat。
\"Yes，\"Ithought，\"youhavelearntsomethingto-day；itdoesnotdo，yousee，hastilytodespisethosedistantrelativesofyours，whotalkaboutpauperisingandmolly-coddlingthelowerclasses。No，no！
Onemustlookdeeperthanthat！Onemusthavegenerosity！\"
AndwiththatIstoppedthecabandgotout。forIwantedabreathofair。
1911
THEBLACKGODMOTHER
Sittingoutonthelawnatteawithourfriendandhisretriever，wehadbeendiscussingthosemassacresofthehelplesswhichhadoflateoccurred，andwonderingthattheyshouldhavebeencommittedbythesoldieryofsocivilisedaState，when，inamomentarypauseofourastonishment，ourfriend，whohadbeenlisteninginsilence，crumplingthedroopingsoftearofhisdog，lookedupandsaid，\"ThecauseofatrocitiesisgenerallytheviolenceofFear。Panic’satthebackofmostcrimesandfollies。\"
Knowingthathisphilosophicalstatementswerealwaystheresultofconcreteinstance，andthathewouldnottelluswhatthatinstancewasifweaskedhim——suchbeinghisnature——wewerecarefulnottoagree。
Hegaveusalookoutofthoseeyesofhis，soliketheeyesofamildeagle，andsaidabruptly：\"Whatdoyousaytothis，then？……
Iwasoutinthedog-dayslastyearwiththisfellowofmine，lookingforOsmunda，andstayedsomedaysinavillage——nevermindthename。
Comingbackoneeveningfrommytramp，Isawsomeboysstoningamealy-coloureddog。Iwentupandtoldtheyoungdevilstostopit。Theyonlylookedatmeintheinjuredwayboysdo，andoneofthemcalledout，’It’smad，guv’nor！’Itoldthemtoclearoff，andtheytooktotheirheels。Thedogfollowedme。Itwasayoung，leggy，mildlookingmongrel，cross——Ishouldsay——betweenabrownretrieverandanIrishterrier。Therewasfrothaboutitslips，anditseyeswerewatery；itlookedindeedasifitmightbeindistemper。Iwasafraidofinfectionforthisfellowofmine，andwheneveritcametoocloseshooeditaway，tillatlastitslunkoffaltogether。Well，aboutnineo’clock，whenIwassettlingdowntowritebytheopenwindowofmysitting-room——stilldaylight，andveryquietandwarm——therebeganthatmostmaddeningsound，thebarkingofanunhappydog。Icoulddonothingwiththatcontinual’Yapyap！’
goingon，anditwastoohottoshutthewindow；soIwentouttoseeifIcouldstopit。Themenwereallatthepub，andthewomenjustfinishedwiththeirgossip；therewasnosoundatallbutthecontinualbarkingofthisdog，somewhereawayoutinthefields。I
travelledbyearacrossthreemeadows，tillIcameonahay-stackbyapoolofwater。Therewasthedogsureenough——thesamemealy-
colouredmongrel，tiedtoastake，yapping，andmakingfranticlittlerunsonabitofrustychain；whirlingroundandroundthestake，thenstandingquitestill，andshivering。Iwentupandspoketoit，butitbackedintothehay-stack，andthereitstayedshrinkingawayfromme，withitstonguehangingout。Ithadbeenheavilystruckbysomethingonthehead；thecheekwascut，oneeyehalf-closed，andanearbadlyswollen。Itriedtogetholdofit，butthepoorthingwasbesideitselfwithfear。ItsnappedandflewroundsothatIhadtogiveitup，andsitdownwiththisfellowherebesideme，totryandquietit——astrangedog，youknow，willgenerallyformhisestimateofyoufromthewayitseesyoutreatanotherdog。Ihadtosittherequitehalfanhourbeforeitwouldletmegouptoit，pullthestakeout，andleaditaway。Thepoorbeast，thoughitwassofeeblefromtheblowsithadreceived，wasstillhalf-frantic，andIdidn’tdaretotouchit；andallthetimeItookgoodcarethatthisfellowheredidn’tcometoonear。Thencamethequestionwhatwastobedone。Therewasnovet，ofcourse，andI’dnoplacetoputitexceptmysitting-room，whichdidn’tbelongtome。But，lookingatitsbatteredhead，anditshalf-madeyes，Ithought：’Notrustingyouwiththesebumpkins；you’llhavetocomeinhereforthenight！’
Well，Igotitin，andheapedtwoorthreeofthosehairylittleredrugslandladiesaresofondof，upinacorner；andgotitontothem，andputdownmybreadandmilk。Butitwouldn’teat——itssenseofproportionwasallgone，fairlydestroyedbyterror。Itlaytheremoaning，andeverynowandthenitraiseditsheadwitha’yap’ofsheerfright，dreadfultohear，andbittheair，asifitsenemieswereonitagain；andthisfellowofminelayintheoppositecorner，withhisheadonhispaw，watchingit。Isatupforalongtimewiththatpoorbeast，sickenough，andwonderinghowithadcometobestonedandkickedandbatteredintothisstate；andnextdayImadeitmybusinesstofindout。
Ourfriendpaused，scannedusalittleangrily，andthenwenton：\"Ithadmadeitsfirstappearance，itseems，followingabicyclist。
Therearemen，youknow——savethemark——who，whentheirbeastsgetillortooexpensive，jumpontheirbicyclesandtakethemforaquickrun，takingcarenevertolookbehindthem。Whentheygetbackhometheysay：’Hallo！where’sFido？’Fidoisnowhere，andthere’sanend！Well，thispoorpuppygaveupjustasitgottoourvillage；
and，roamingshoutinsearchofwater，attacheditselftoafarmlabourer。Themanwithexcellentintentions——ashetoldmehimself——
triedtotakeholdofit，buttooabruptly，sothatitwasstartled，andsnappedathim。Whereonhekickeditforadangerouscur，anditwentdriftingbacktowardthevillage，andfellinwiththeboyscominghomefromschool。Itthought，nodoubt，thattheyweregoingtokickittoo，andnippedoneofthemwhotookitbythecollar。
ThereupontheyhullabalooedandstoneditdowntheroadtowhereI
foundthem。ThenIputinmylittlebitoftorture，anddroveitaway，throughfearofinfectiontomyowndog。Afterthatitseemstohavefalleninwithamanwhotoldme：’Well，yousee，hecamesneakin’roundmyhouse，withthechildrenplayin’，andsnappedatthemwhentheywenttostrokehim，sothattheycamerunningintotheirmother，an’she’calledtomeinafinetakin’aboutamaddog。
Iranoutwithashovelandgave’imone，anddrovehimout。I’msorryifhewasn’tmad，helookeditrightenough；youcan’tbetoocarefulwithstrangedogs。’Itsnextacquaintancewasanoldstone-
breaker，averydecentsort。’Well！yousee，’theoldmanexplainedtome，’thedogcamesmellin’roundmystones，an’itwouldn’comenear，an’itwouldn’goaway；itwasallfrothandbloodaboutthejaw，anditseyesglaredgreenatme。Ithoughttomeself，bein’thedog-days——Idon’tlikethelooko’you，youlookfunny！SoItookastone，an’gotithere，justontheear；an’itfellover。AndI
thoughttomeself：Well，you’vegottofinishit，orit’llgobitin’
somebody，forsure！ButwhenIcometoitwithmyhammer，thedogitgotup——an’youknowhowitiswhenthere’ssomethin’you’ve’alfkilled，andyoufeelsorry，andyetyoufeelyoumustfinishit，an’
youhitatitblind，youhitatitagenan’agen。Thepoorthing，itwriggledandsnapped，an’Iwasterrifiedit’dbiteme，an’some’owitgotaway。\"’Againourfriendpaused，andthistimewedarednotlookathim。
\"Thenexthospitalityitwasshown，\"hewentonpresently，\"wasbyafarmer，who，seeingitallbloody，droveitoff，thinkingithadbeendiggingupalambthathe’djustburied。Thepoorhomelessbeastcamesneakingback，sohetoldhismentogetridofit。Well，theygotholdofitsomehow——therewasaholeinitsneckthatlookedasifthey’dusedapitchfork——and，mortallyafraidofitsbitingthem，butnotliking，astheytoldme，todrownit，forfeartheownermightcomeonthem，theygotastakeandachain，andfasteneditup，andleftitinthewaterbythehay-stackwhereIfoundit。Ihadsomeconversationwiththatfarmer。’That’sright，’hesaid，’butwhowastoknow？Icouldn’thavemysheepworried。Thebrutehadbloodonhismuzzle。Thesecursdoalotofharmwhenthey’veoncebeenblooded。Youcan’trunrisks。\"’Ourfriendcutviciouslyatadandelionwithhisstick。\"Runrisks！\"hebrokeoutsuddenly：\"Thatwasitfrombeginningtoendofthatpoorbeast’ssufferings，fear！
>Fromthatfellowonthebicycle，afraidoftheworryandexpense，assoonasitshowedsignsofdistemper，tomyselfandthemanwiththepitchfork——notoneofus，Idaresay，wouldhavegoneoutofourwaytodoit——aharm。Butwefeltfear，andsobythelawofself-
preservation，orwhateveryoulike——itallbegan，tilltherethepoorthingwas，withabatteredheadandaholeinitsneck，ravenouswithhunger，andtoodistraughteventolapmybreadandmilk。Yes，andthere’ssomethinguncannyaboutasufferinganimal——wesatwatchingit，andagainwewereafraid，lookingatitseyesandthewayitbittheair。Fear！It’stheblackgodmotherofalldamnablethings！\"
Ourfriendbentdown，crumplingandcrumplingathisdog’sears。We，too，gazedattheground，thinkingof，thatpoorlostpuppy，andthehorribleinevitabilityofallthathappens，seeingmenarewhattheyare；thinkingofallthefouldoingsintheworld，whoseblackgodmotherisFear。
\"Andwhatbecameofthepoordog？\"oneofusaskedatlast。
\"When，\"saidourfriendslowly，\"I’dhadmyfillofwatching，I
covereditwitharug，tookthisfellowawaywithme，andwenttobed。Therewasnothingelsetodo。AtdawnIwasawakenedbythreedreadfulcries——notlikeadog’satall。Ihurrieddown。Therewasthepoorbeast——wriggledoutfromundertherug-stretchedonitsside，dead。Thisfellowofminehadfollowedmein，andhewentandsatdownbythebody。WhenIspoketohimhejustlookedround，andwaggedhistailalongtheground，butwouldnotcomeaway；andtherehesattillitwasburied，veryinterested，butnotsorryatall。\"
Ourfriendwassilent，lookingangrilyatsomethinginthedistance。
Andwe，too，weresilent，seeinginspiritthatvigilofearlymorning：Thethin，lifeless，sandy-colouredbody，stretchedonthoseredmats；andthisblackcreature——nowlyingatourfeet——proppedonitshauncheslikethedogin\"TheDeathofProcris，\"patient，curious，ungrieved，staringdownatitwithhisbright，interestedeyes。
1912。