EnterSIRANDREW，SIRTOBYBELCH，andFABIANSIRANDREWNow，sir，haveImetyouagain？there’sforyou。SEBASTIANWhy，there’sforthee，andthere，andthere。Areallthepeoplemad？SIRTOBYBELCHHold，sir，orI’llthrowyourdaggero’erthehouse。ClownThiswillItellmyladystraight：Iwouldnotbeinsomeofyourcoatsfortwopence。
ExitSIRTOBYBELCHComeon，sir；hold。SIRANDREWNay，lethimalone：I’llgoanotherwaytoworkwithhim；I’llhaveanactionofbatteryagainsthim，iftherebeanylawinIllyria：thoughI
struckhimfirst，yetit’snomatterforthat。SEBASTIANLetgothyhand。SIRTOBYBELCHCome，sir，Iwillnotletyougo。Come，myyoungsoldier，putupyouriron：youarewellfleshed；
comeon。SEBASTIANIwillbefreefromthee。Whatwouldstthounow？Ifthoudaresttemptmefurther，drawthysword。SIRTOBYBELCHWhat，what？Nay，thenImusthaveanounceortwoofthismalapertbloodfromyou。
EnterOLIVIAOLIVIAHold，Toby；onthylifeIchargethee，hold！SIRTOBYBELCHMadam！OLIVIAWillitbeeverthus？Ungraciouswretch，Fitforthemountainsandthebarbarouscaves，Wheremannersne’erwerepreach’d！outofmysight！
Benotoffended，dearCesario。
Rudesby，begone！
ExeuntSIRTOBYBELCH，SIRANDREW，andFABIAN
Iprithee，gentlefriend，Letthyfairwisdom，notthypassion，swayInthisuncivilandthouunjustextentAgainstthypeace。Gowithmetomyhouse，AndhearthoutherehowmanyfruitlesspranksThisruffianhathbotch’dup，thatthoutherebyMaystsmileatthis：thoushaltnotchoosebutgo：
Donotdeny。Beshrewhissoulforme，Hestartedonepoorheartofmineinthee。SEBASTIANWhatrelishisinthis？howrunsthestream？
OrIammad，orelsethisisadream：
LetfancystillmysenseinLethesteep；
Ifitbethustodream，stillletmesleep！OLIVIANay，come，Iprithee；wouldthou’ldstberuledbyme！SEBASTIANMadam，Iwill。OLIVIAO，sayso，andsobe！
ExeuntSCENEII。OLIVIA’shouse。EnterMARIAandClownMARIANay，Iprithee，putonthisgownandthisbeard；
makehimbelievethouartSirTopasthecurate：
doitquickly；I’llcallSirTobythewhilst。
ExitClownWell，I’llputiton，andIwilldissemblemyselfin’t；andIwouldIwerethefirstthateverdissembledinsuchagown。Iamnottallenoughtobecomethefunctionwell，norleanenoughtobethoughtagoodstudent；buttobesaidanhonestmanandagoodhousekeepergoesasfairlyastosayacarefulmanandagreatscholar。Thecompetitorsenter。
EnterSIRTOBYBELCHandMARIASIRTOBYBELCHJoveblessthee，masterParson。ClownBonosdies，SirToby：for，astheoldhermitofPrague，thatneversawpenandink，verywittilysaidtoanieceofKingGorboduc，’Thatthatisis；’
soI，beingMasterParson，amMasterParson；for，whatis’that’but’that，’and’is’but’is’？SIRTOBYBELCHTohim，SirTopas。ClownWhat，ho，Isay！peaceinthisprison！SIRTOBYBELCHTheknavecounterfeitswell；agoodknave。MALVOLIO[Within]Whocallsthere？ClownSirTopasthecurate，whocomestovisitMalvoliothelunatic。MALVOLIOSirTopas，SirTopas，goodSirTopas，gotomylady。ClownOut，hyperbolicalfiend！howvexestthouthisman！
talkestthounothingbutofladies？SIRTOBYBELCHWellsaid，MasterParson。MALVOLIOSirTopas，neverwasmanthuswronged：
goodSirTopas，donotthinkIammad：theyhavelaidmehereinhideousdarkness。ClownFie，thoudishonestSatan！Icalltheebythemostmodestterms；forIamoneofthosegentleonesthatwillusethedevilhimselfwithcourtesy：
sayestthouthathouseisdark？MALVOLIOAshell，SirTopas。ClownWhyithathbaywindowstransparentasbarricadoes，andtheclearstorestowardthesouthnorthareaslustrousasebony；andyetcomplainestthouofobstruction？MALVOLIOIamnotmad，SirTopas：Isaytoyou，thishouseisdark。ClownMadman，thouerrest：Isay，thereisnodarknessbutignorance；inwhichthouartmorepuzzledthantheEgyptiansintheirfog。MALVOLIOIsay，thishouseisasdarkasignorance，thoughignorancewereasdarkashell；andIsay，therewasnevermanthusabused。Iamnomoremadthanyouare：makethetrialofitinanyconstantquestion。ClownWhatistheopinionofPythagorasconcerningwildfowl？MALVOLIOThatthesoulofourgrandammighthaplyinhabitabird。ClownWhatthinkestthouofhisopinion？MALVOLIOIthinknoblyofthesoul，andnowayapprovehisopinion。ClownFaretheewell。Remainthoustillindarkness：
thoushaltholdtheopinionofPythagorasereIwillallowofthywits，andfeartokillawoodcock，lestthoudispossessthesoulofthygrandam。Faretheewell。MALVOLIOSirTopas，SirTopas！SIRTOBYBELCHMymostexquisiteSirTopas！ClownNay，Iamforallwaters。MARIAThoumightsthavedonethiswithoutthybeardandgown：heseestheenot。SIRTOBYBELCHTohiminthineownvoice，andbringmewordhowthoufindesthim：Iwouldwewerewellridofthisknavery。Ifhemaybeconvenientlydelivered，I
wouldhewere，forIamnowsofarinoffencewithmyniecethatIcannotpursuewithanysafetythissporttotheupshot。Comebyandbytomychamber。
ExeuntSIRTOBYBELCHandMARIAClown[Singing]
’Hey，Robin，jollyRobin，Tellmehowthyladydoes。’MALVOLIOFool！Clown’Myladyisunkind，perdy。’MALVOLIOFool！Clown’Alas，whyissheso？’MALVOLIOFool，Isay！Clown’Shelovesanother’——Whocalls，ha？MALVOLIOGoodfool，aseverthouwiltdeservewellatmyhand，helpmetoacandle，andpen，inkandpaper：
asIamagentleman，Iwilllivetobethankfultotheefor’t。ClownMasterMalvolio？MALVOLIOAy，goodfool。ClownAlas，sir，howfellyoubesidesyourfivewits？MALVOLIOFool，therewasneveramansonotoriouslyabused：I
amaswellinmywits，fool，asthouart。ClownButaswell？thenyouaremadindeed，ifyoubenobetterinyourwitsthanafool。MALVOLIOTheyhaveherepropertiedme；keepmeindarkness，sendministerstome，asses，anddoalltheycantofacemeoutofmywits。ClownAdviseyouwhatyousay；theministerishere。
Malvolio，Malvolio，thywitstheheavensrestore！
endeavourthyselftosleep，andleavethyvainbibblebabble。MALVOLIOSirTopas！ClownMaintainnowordswithhim，goodfellow。
Who，I，sir？notI，sir。Godbewi’you，goodSirTopas。
Merry，amen。Iwill，sir，Iwill。MALVOLIOFool，fool，fool，Isay！ClownAlas，sir，bepatient。Whatsayyousir？
Iamshentforspeakingtoyou。MALVOLIOGoodfool，helpmetosomelightandsomepaper：I
tellthee，IamaswellinmywitsasanymaninIllyria。ClownWell-a-daythatyouwere，sirMALVOLIOBythishand，Iam。Goodfool，someink，paperandlight；andconveywhatIwillsetdowntomylady：
itshalladvantagetheemorethaneverthebearingofletterdid。ClownIwillhelpyouto’t。Buttellmetrue，areyounotmadindeed？ordoyoubutcounterfeit？MALVOLIOBelieveme，Iamnot；Itelltheetrue。ClownNay，I’llne’erbelieveamadmantillIseehisbrains。Iwillfetchyoulightandpaperandink。MALVOLIOFool，I’llrequiteitinthehighestdegree：I
prithee，begone。Clown[Singing]
Iamgone，sir，Andanon，sir，I’llbewithyouagain，Inatrice，LiketotheoldVice，Yourneedtosustain；
Who，withdaggeroflath，Inhisrageandhiswrath，Cries，ah，ha！tothedevil：
Likeamadlad，Parethynails，dad；
Adieu，goodmandevil。
ExitSCENEIII。OLIVIA’sgarden。EnterSEBASTIANSEBASTIANThisistheair；thatistheglorioussun；
Thispearlshegaveme，Idofeel’tandsee’t；
Andthough’tiswonderthatenwrapsmethus，Yet’tisnotmadness。Where’sAntonio，then？
IcouldnotfindhimattheElephant：
Yettherehewas；andthereIfoundthiscredit，Thathedidrangethetowntoseekmeout。
Hiscounselnowmightdomegoldenservice；
Forthoughmysouldisputeswellwithmysense，Thatthismaybesomeerror，butnomadness，YetdoththisaccidentandfloodoffortuneSofarexceedallinstance，alldiscourse，ThatIamreadytodistrustmineeyesAndwranglewithmyreasonthatpersuadesmeToanyothertrustbutthatIammadOrelsethelady’smad；yet，if’twereso，Shecouldnotswayherhouse，commandherfollowers，TakeandgivebackaffairsandtheirdispatchWithsuchasmooth，discreetandstablebearingAsIperceiveshedoes：there’ssomethingin’tThatisdeceiveable。Butheretheladycomes。
EnterOLIVIAandPriestOLIVIABlamenotthishasteofmine。Ifyoumeanwell，NowgowithmeandwiththisholymanIntothechantryby：there，beforehim，Andunderneaththatconsecratedroof，Plightmethefullassuranceofyourfaith；
ThatmymostjealousandtoodoubtfulsoulMayliveatpeace。HeshallconcealitWhilesyouarewillingitshallcometonote，WhattimewewillourcelebrationkeepAccordingtomybirth。Whatdoyousay？SEBASTIANI’llfollowthisgoodman，andgowithyou；
And，havingsworntruth，everwillbetrue。OLIVIAThenleadtheway，goodfather；andheavenssoshine，Thattheymayfairlynotethisactofmine！
ExeuntACTVSCENEI。BeforeOLIVIA’shouse。EnterClownandFABIANFABIANNow，asthoulovestme，letmeseehisletter。ClownGoodMasterFabian，grantmeanotherrequest。FABIANAnything。ClownDonotdesiretoseethisletter。FABIANThisis，togiveadog，andinrecompensedesiremydogagain。
EnterDUKEORSINO，VIOLA，CURIO，andLordsDUKEORSINOBelongyoutotheLadyOlivia，friends？ClownAy，sir；wearesomeofhertrappings。DUKEORSINOIknowtheewell；howdostthou，mygoodfellow？ClownTruly，sir，thebetterformyfoesandtheworseformyfriends。DUKEORSINOJustthecontrary；thebetterforthyfriends。ClownNo，sir，theworse。DUKEORSINOHowcanthatbe？ClownMarry，sir，theypraisemeandmakeanassofme；
nowmyfoestellmeplainlyIamanass：sothatbymyfoes，sirIprofitintheknowledgeofmyself，andbymyfriends，Iamabused：sothat，conclusionstobeaskisses，ifyourfournegativesmakeyourtwoaffirmativeswhythen，theworseformyfriendsandthebetterformyfoes。DUKEORSINOWhy，thisisexcellent。ClownBymytroth，sir，no；thoughitpleaseyoutobeoneofmyfriends。DUKEORSINOThoushaltnotbetheworseforme：there’sgold。ClownButthatitwouldbedouble-dealing，sir，Iwouldyoucouldmakeitanother。DUKEORSINOO，yougivemeillcounsel。ClownPutyourgraceinyourpocket，sir，forthisonce，andletyourfleshandbloodobeyit。DUKEORSINOWell，Iwillbesomuchasinner，tobeadouble-dealer：there’sanother。ClownPrimo，secundo，tertio，isagoodplay；
andtheoldsayingis，thethirdpaysforall：thetriplex，sir，isagoodtrippingmeasure；orthebellsofSaintBennet，sir，mayputyouinmind；one，two，three。DUKEORSINOYoucanfoolnomoremoneyoutofmeatthisthrow：
ifyouwillletyourladyknowIamheretospeakwithher，andbringheralongwithyou，itmayawakemybountyfurther。ClownMarry，sir，lullabytoyourbountytillIcomeagain。Igo，sir；butIwouldnothaveyoutothinkthatmydesireofhavingisthesinofcovetousness：
but，asyousay，sir，letyourbountytakeanap，I
willawakeitanon。
ExitVIOLAHerecomestheman，sir，thatdidrescueme。
EnterANTONIOandOfficersDUKEORSINOThatfaceofhisIdorememberwell；
Yet，whenIsawitlast，itwasbesmear’dAsblackasVulcaninthesmokeofwar：
Abawblingvesselwashecaptainof，Forshallowdraughtandbulkunprizable；
WithwhichsuchscathfulgrappledidhemakeWiththemostnoblebottomofourfleet，ThatveryenvyandthetongueoflossCriedfameandhonouronhim。What’sthematter？FirstOfficerOrsino，thisisthatAntonioThattookthePhoenixandherfraughtfromCandy；
AndthisishethatdidtheTigerboard，WhenyouryoungnephewTituslosthisleg：
Hereinthestreets，desperateofshameandstate，Inprivatebrabbledidweapprehendhim。VIOLAHedidmekindness，sir，drewonmyside；
Butinconclusionputstrangespeechuponme：
Iknownotwhat’twasbutdistraction。DUKEORSINONotablepirate！thousalt-waterthief！
Whatfoolishboldnessbroughttheetotheirmercies，Whomthou，intermssobloodyandsodear，Hastmadethineenemies？ANTONIOOrsino，noblesir，BepleasedthatIshakeoffthesenamesyougiveme：
Antonioneveryetwasthieforpirate，ThoughIconfess，onbaseandgroundenough，Orsino’senemy。Awitchcraftdrewmehither：
Thatmostingratefulboytherebyyourside，Fromtherudesea’senragedandfoamymouthDidIredeem；awreckpasthopehewas：
HislifeIgavehimanddidtheretoaddMylove，withoutretentionorrestraint，Allhisindedication；forhissakeDidIexposemyself，pureforhislove，Intothedangerofthisadversetown；
Drewtodefendhimwhenhewasbeset：
Wherebeingapprehended，hisfalsecunning，Notmeaningtopartakewithmeindanger，Taughthimtofacemeoutofhisacquaintance，AndgrewatwentyyearsremovedthingWhileonewouldwink；deniedmemineownpurse，WhichIhadrecommendedtohisuseNothalfanhourbefore。VIOLAHowcanthisbe？DUKEORSINOWhencamehetothistown？ANTONIOTo-day，mylord；andforthreemonthsbefore，Nointerim，notaminute’svacancy，Bothdayandnightdidwekeepcompany。
EnterOLIVIAandAttendantsDUKEORSINOHerecomesthecountess：nowheavenwalksonearth。
Butforthee，fellow；fellow，thywordsaremadness：
Threemonthsthisyouthhathtendeduponme；
Butmoreofthatanon。Takehimaside。OLIVIAWhatwouldmylord，butthathemaynothave，WhereinOliviamayseemserviceable？
Cesario，youdonotkeeppromisewithme。VIOLAMadam！DUKEORSINOGraciousOlivia，——OLIVIAWhatdoyousay，Cesario？Goodmylord，——VIOLAMylordwouldspeak；mydutyhushesme。OLIVIAIfitbeaughttotheoldtune，mylord，ItisasfatandfulsometomineearAshowlingaftermusic。DUKEORSINOStillsocruel？OLIVIAStillsoconstant，lord。DUKEORSINOWhat，toperverseness？youuncivillady，TowhoseingrateandunauspiciousaltarsMysoulthefaithfull’stofferingshathbreathedoutThate’erdevotiontender’d！WhatshallIdo？OLIVIAEvenwhatitpleasemylord，thatshallbecomehim。DUKEORSINOWhyshouldInot，hadIthehearttodoit，LiketotheEgyptianthiefatpointofdeath，KillwhatIlove？——asavagejealousyThatsometimessavoursnobly。Buthearmethis：
Sinceyoutonon-regardancecastmyfaith，AndthatIpartlyknowtheinstrumentThatscrewsmefrommytrueplaceinyourfavour，Liveyouthemarble-breastedtyrantstill；
Butthisyourminion，whomIknowyoulove，Andwhom，byheavenIswear，Itenderdearly，HimwillItearoutofthatcrueleye，Wherehesitscrownedinhismaster’sspite。
Come，boy，withme；mythoughtsareripeinmischief：
I’llsacrificethelambthatIdolove，Tospitearaven’sheartwithinadove。VIOLAAndI，mostjocund，aptandwillingly，Todoyourest，athousanddeathswoulddie。OLIVIAWheregoesCesario？VIOLAAfterhimIloveMorethanIlovetheseeyes，morethanmylife，More，byallmores，thane’erIshalllovewife。
IfIdofeign，youwitnessesabovePunishmylifefortaintingofmylove！OLIVIAAyme，detested！howamIbeguiled！VIOLAWhodoesbeguileyou？whodoesdoyouwrong？OLIVIAHastthouforgotthyself？isitsolong？
Callforththeholyfather。DUKEORSINOCome，away！OLIVIAWhither，mylord？Cesario，husband，stay。DUKEORSINOHusband！OLIVIAAy，husband：canhethatdeny？DUKEORSINOHerhusband，sirrah！VIOLANo，mylord，notI。OLIVIAAlas，itisthebasenessofthyfearThatmakestheestranglethypropriety：
Fearnot，Cesario；takethyfortunesup；
Bethatthouknow’stthouart，andthenthouartAsgreatasthatthoufear’st。
EnterPriestO，welcome，father！
Father，Ichargethee，bythyreverence，Heretounfold，thoughlatelyweintendedTokeepindarknesswhatoccasionnowRevealsbefore’tisripe，whatthoudostknowHathnewlypass’dbetweenthisyouthandme。PriestAcontractofeternalbondoflove，Confirm’dbymutualjoinderofyourhands，Attestedbytheholycloseoflips，Strengthen’dbyinterchangementofyourrings；
AndalltheceremonyofthiscompactSeal’dinmyfunction，bymytestimony：
Sincewhen，mywatchhathtoldme，towardmygraveIhavetravell’dbuttwohours。DUKEORSINOOthoudissemblingcub！whatwiltthoubeWhentimehathsow’dagrizzleonthycase？
Orwillnotelsethycraftsoquicklygrow，Thatthineowntripshallbethineoverthrow？
Farewell，andtakeher；butdirectthyfeetWherethouandIhenceforthmaynevermeet。VIOLAMylord，Idoprotest——OLIVIAO，donotswear！
Holdlittlefaith，thoughthouhasttoomuchfear。
EnterSIRANDREWSIRANDREWFortheloveofGod，asurgeon！SendonepresentlytoSirToby。OLIVIAWhat’sthematter？SIRANDREWHehasbrokemyheadacrossandhasgivenSirTobyabloodycoxcombtoo：fortheloveofGod，yourhelp！IhadratherthanfortypoundIwereathome。OLIVIAWhohasdonethis，SirAndrew？SIRANDREWThecount’sgentleman，oneCesario：wetookhimforacoward，buthe’stheverydevilincardinate。DUKEORSINOMygentleman，Cesario？SIRANDREW’Od’slifelings，hereheis！Youbrokemyheadfornothing；andthatthatIdid，Iwassetontodo’tbySirToby。VIOLAWhydoyouspeaktome？Ineverhurtyou：
Youdrewyoursworduponmewithoutcause；
ButIbespokeyoufair，andhurtyounot。SIRANDREWIfabloodycoxcombbeahurt，youhavehurtme：I
thinkyousetnothingbyabloodycoxcomb。
EnterSIRTOBYBELCHandClownHerecomesSirTobyhalting；youshallhearmore：
butifhehadnotbeenindrink，hewouldhavetickledyouothergatesthanhedid。DUKEORSINOHownow，gentleman！howis’twithyou？SIRTOBYBELCHThat’sallone：hashurtme，andthere’stheendon’t。Sot，didstseeDicksurgeon，sot？ClownO，he’sdrunk，SirToby，anhouragone；
hiseyesweresetateighti’themorning。SIRTOBYBELCHThenhe’sarogue，andapassymeasurespanyn：I
hateadrunkenrogue。OLIVIAAwaywithhim！Whohathmadethishavocwiththem？SIRANDREWI’llhelpyou，SirToby，becausewellbedressedtogether。SIRTOBYBELCHWillyouhelp？anass-headandacoxcombandaknave，athin-facedknave，agull！OLIVIAGethimtobed，andlethishurtbelook’dto。
ExeuntClown，FABIAN，SIRTOBYBELCH，andSIRANDREW
EnterSEBASTIANSEBASTIANIamsorry，madam，Ihavehurtyourkinsman：
But，haditbeenthebrotherofmyblood，Imusthavedonenolesswithwitandsafety。
Youthrowastrangeregarduponme，andbythatIdoperceiveithathoffendedyou：
Pardonme，sweetone，evenforthevowsWemadeeachotherbutsolateago。DUKEORSINOOneface，onevoice，onehabit，andtwopersons，Anaturalperspective，thatisandisnot！SEBASTIANAntonio，OmydearAntonio！
Howhavethehoursrack’dandtorturedme，SinceIhavelostthee！ANTONIOSebastianareyou？SEBASTIANFear’stthouthat，Antonio？ANTONIOHowhaveyoumadedivisionofyourself？
Anapple，cleftintwo，isnotmoretwinThanthesetwocreatures。WhichisSebastian？OLIVIAMostwonderful！SEBASTIANDoIstandthere？Ineverhadabrother；
Norcantherebethatdeityinmynature，Ofhereandeverywhere。Ihadasister，Whomtheblindwavesandsurgeshavedevour’d。
Ofcharity，whatkinareyoutome？
Whatcountryman？whatname？whatparentage？VIOLAOfMessaline：Sebastianwasmyfather；
SuchaSebastianwasmybrothertoo，Sowenthesuitedtohiswaterytomb：
IfspiritscanassumebothformandsuitYoucometofrightus。SEBASTIANAspiritIamindeed；
ButaminthatdimensiongrosslycladWhichfromthewombIdidparticipate。
Wereyouawoman，astherestgoeseven，Ishouldmytearsletfalluponyourcheek，Andsay’Thrice-welcome，drownedViola！’VIOLAMyfatherhadamoleuponhisbrow。SEBASTIANAndsohadmine。VIOLAAnddiedthatdaywhenViolafromherbirthHadnumber’dthirteenyears。SEBASTIANO，thatrecordislivelyinmysoul！
HefinishedindeedhismortalactThatdaythatmademysisterthirteenyears。VIOLAIfnothingletstomakeushappybothButthismymasculineusurp’dattire，DonotembracemetilleachcircumstanceOfplace，time，fortune，docohereandjumpThatIamViola：whichtoconfirm，I’llbringyoutoacaptaininthistown，Whereliemymaidenweeds；bywhosegentlehelpIwaspreservedtoservethisnoblecount。
AlltheoccurrenceofmyfortunesinceHathbeenbetweenthisladyandthislord。SEBASTIAN[ToOLIVIA]Socomesit，lady，youhavebeenmistook：
Butnaturetoherbiasdrewinthat。
Youwouldhavebeencontractedtoamaid；
Norareyoutherein，bymylife，deceived，Youarebetroth’dbothtoamaidandman。DUKEORSINOBenotamazed；rightnobleishisblood。
Ifthisbeso，asyettheglassseemstrue，Ishallhaveshareinthismosthappywreck。
ToVIOLA
Boy，thouhastsaidtomeathousandtimesThounevershouldstlovewomanliketome。VIOLAAndallthosesayingswillIoverswear；
AndthoseswearingskeepastrueinsoulAsdoththatorbedcontinentthefireThatseversdayfromnight。DUKEORSINOGivemethyhand；
Andletmeseetheeinthywoman’sweeds。VIOLAThecaptainthatdidbringmefirstonshoreHathmymaid’sgarments：heuponsomeactionIsnowindurance，atMalvolio’ssuit，Agentleman，andfollowerofmylady’s。OLIVIAHeshallenlargehim：fetchMalvoliohither：
Andyet，alas，nowIrememberme，Theysay，poorgentleman，he’smuchdistract。
Re-enterClownwithaletter，andFABIAN
AmostextractingfrenzyofmineownFrommyremembranceclearlybanish’dhis。
Howdoeshe，sirrah？ClownTruly，madam，heholdsBelzebubatthestaves’sendaswellasamaninhiscasemaydo：hasherewritalettertoyou；Ishouldhavegiven’tyouto-daymorning，butasamadman’sepistlesarenogospels，soitskillsnotmuchwhentheyaredelivered。OLIVIAOpen’t，andreadit。ClownLookthentobewelledifiedwhenthefooldeliversthemadman。
Reads’BytheLord，madam，’——OLIVIAHownow！artthoumad？ClownNo，madam，Idobutreadmadness：anyourladyshipwillhaveitasitoughttobe，youmustallowVox。OLIVIAPrithee，readi’thyrightwits。ClownSoIdo，madonna；buttoreadhisrightwitsistoreadthus：thereforeperpend，myprincess，andgiveear。OLIVIAReadityou，sirrah。
ToFABIANFABIAN[Reads]’BytheLord，madam，youwrongme，andtheworldshallknowit：thoughyouhaveputmeintodarknessandgivenyourdrunkencousinruleoverme，yethaveIthebenefitofmysensesaswellasyourladyship。IhaveyourownletterthatinducedmetothesemblanceIputon；withthewhichIdoubtnotbuttodomyselfmuchright，oryoumuchshame。
Thinkofmeasyouplease。Ileavemydutyalittleunthoughtofandspeakoutofmyinjury。
THEMADLY-USEDMALVOLIO。’OLIVIADidhewritethis？ClownAy，madam。DUKEORSINOThissavoursnotmuchofdistraction。OLIVIASeehimdeliver’d，Fabian；bringhimhither。
ExitFABIAN
Mylordsopleaseyou，thesethingsfurtherthoughton，Tothinkmeaswellasisterasawife，Onedayshallcrowntheallianceon’t，sopleaseyou，Hereatmyhouseandatmypropercost。DUKEORSINOMadam，Iammostapttoembraceyouroffer。
ToVIOLA
Yourmasterquitsyou；andforyourservicedonehim，Somuchagainstthemettleofyoursex，Sofarbeneathyoursoftandtenderbreeding，Andsinceyoucall’dmemasterforsolong，Hereismyhand：youshallfromthistimebeYourmaster’smistress。OLIVIAAsister！youareshe。
Re-enterFABIAN，withMALVOLIODUKEORSINOIsthisthemadman？OLIVIAAy，mylord，thissame。
Hownow，Malvolio！MALVOLIOMadam，youhavedonemewrong，Notoriouswrong。OLIVIAHaveI，Malvolio？no。MALVOLIOLady，youhave。Prayyou，perusethatletter。
Youmustnotnowdenyitisyourhand：
Writefromit，ifyoucan，inhandorphrase；
Orsay’tisnotyourseal，noryourinvention：
Youcansaynoneofthis：well，grantitthenAndtellme，inthemodestyofhonour，Whyyouhavegivenmesuchclearlightsoffavour，Bademecomesmilingandcross-garter’dtoyou，ToputonyellowstockingsandtofrownUponSirTobyandthelighterpeople；
And，actingthisinanobedienthope，Whyhaveyousuffer’dmetobeimprison’d，Keptinadarkhouse，visitedbythepriest，AndmadethemostnotoriousgeckandgullThate’erinventionplay’don？tellmewhy。OLIVIAAlas，Malvolio，thisisnotmywriting，Though，Iconfess，muchlikethecharacterButoutofquestion’tisMaria’shand。
AndnowIdobethinkme，itwassheFirsttoldmethouwastmad；thencamestinsmiling，AndinsuchformswhichherewerepresupposedUpontheeintheletter。Prithee，becontent：
Thispractisehathmostshrewdlypass’duponthee；
Butwhenweknowthegroundsandauthorsofit，ThoushaltbeboththeplaintiffandthejudgeOfthineowncause。FABIANGoodmadam，hearmespeak，AndletnoquarrelnornobrawltocomeTainttheconditionofthispresenthour，WhichIhavewonder’dat。Inhopeitshallnot，MostfreelyIconfess，myselfandTobySetthisdeviceagainstMalvoliohere，UponsomestubbornanduncourteouspartsWehadconceivedagainsthim：MariawritTheletteratSirToby’sgreatimportance；
Inrecompensewhereofhehathmarriedher。
Howwithasportfulmaliceitwasfollow’d，Mayratherpluckonlaughterthanrevenge；
Ifthattheinjuriesbejustlyweigh’dThathaveonbothsidespass’d。OLIVIAAlas，poorfool，howhavetheybaffledthee！ClownWhy，’someareborngreat，someachievegreatness，andsomehavegreatnessthrownuponthem。’I
wasone，sir，inthisinterlude；oneSirTopas，sir；
butthat’sallone。’BytheLord，fool，Iamnotmad。’
Butdoyouremember？’Madam，whylaughyouatsuchabarrenrascal？anyousmilenot，he’sgagged：’
andthusthewhirligigoftimebringsinhisrevenges。MALVOLIOI’llberevengedonthewholepackofyou。
ExitOLIVIAHehathbeenmostnotoriouslyabused。DUKEORSINOPursuehimandentreathimtoapeace：
Hehathnottoldusofthecaptainyet：
Whenthatisknownandgoldentimeconvents，AsolemncombinationshallbemadeOfourdearsouls。Meantime，sweetsister，Wewillnotpartfromhence。Cesario，come；
Forsoyoushallbe，whileyouareaman；
Butwheninotherhabitsyouareseen，Orsino’smistressandhisfancy’squeen。
Exeuntall，exceptClownClown[Sings]
WhenthatIwasandalittletinyboy，Withhey，ho，thewindandtherain，Afoolishthingwasbutatoy，Fortherainitrainetheveryday。
ButwhenIcametoman’sestate，Withhey，ho，&；c。
’Gainstknavesandthievesmenshuttheirgate，Fortherain，&；c。
ButwhenIcame，alas！towive，Withhey，ho，&；c。
ByswaggeringcouldIneverthrive，Fortherain，&；c。
ButwhenIcameuntomybeds，Withhey，ho，&；c。
Withtoss-potsstillhaddrunkenheads，Fortherain，&；c。
Agreatwhileagotheworldbegun，Withhey，ho，&；c。
Butthat’sallone，ourplayisdone，Andwe’llstrivetopleaseyoueveryday。