WillyoubuytheoldSpeaker\'schair?
Whichwaswarmandeasytositin,Andofthasbeenclean\'d,Ideclare,Whereasitwasfoulerthanfitting。
SaysoldSimontheKing,SaysoldSimontheKing,Withhisale-dropthose,andhisMalmseynose,Sing,heyding,ding-a-ding,ding。
Willyoubuyanybaconflitches,Thefattestthateverwerespent?
They\'rethesidesoftheoldcommitteesFedupintheLongParliament。
Here\'sapairofbellowsandtongs,AndforasmallmatterI\'llsellye\'um,Theyaremadeofthepresbyter\'slungs,Toblowupthecoalsofrebellion。
SaysoldSimon,etc。
IhadthoughttohavegiventhemonceTosomeblacksmithforhisforge;
ButnowIhaveconsider\'don\'t,TheyareconsecratetotheChurch:
SoI\'llgivethemuntosomequire,Theywillmakethebigorgansroar,AndthelittlepipestosqueakhigherThanevertheycouldbefore。
SaysoldSimon,etc。
Here\'sacoupleofstoolsforsale,One\'ssquare,andt\'otherisround;
Betwixtthemboth,thetailOftheRumpfelldowntotheground。
WillyoubuytheState\'scouncil-table,Whichwasmadeofthegoodwain-Scot?
TheframewasatotteringBabel,Toupholdth\'Independentplot。
SaysoldSimon,etc。
Here\'sthebesomofReformation,Whichshouldhavemadecleanthefloor;
Butitsweptthewealthoutofthenation,Andleftusdirtgoodstore。
Willyoubuythestate\'sspinning-wheel,Whichspunfortheroper\'strade?
Butbetterithadstoodstill,Fornowithasspunafairthread。
SaysoldSimon,etc。
Here\'saglyster-pipewelltried,Whichwasmadeofabutcher\'sstump,AndhasbeensafelyappliedTocurethecoldsoftheRump。
Here\'salumpofpilgrim\'s-salve,Whichoncewasajusticeofpeace,WhoNollandthedevildidserve,Butnowitiscometothis,SaysoldSimon,etc。
Here\'sarolloftheState\'stobacco,Ifanygoodfellowwilltakeit;
NoVirginiahade\'ersuchaSmack-o,AndI\'lltellyouhowtheydidmakeit:
\'Tisth\'EngagementandCovenantcook\'tUpwiththeabjurationoath,Andmanyofthemthathavetook\'tComplainitwasfoulinthemouth。
SaysoldSimon,etc。
YettheashesmayhappilyserveTocurethescabofthenation,Whene\'er\'thasanitchtoswerveTorebellionbyinnovation。
Alanthornhereistobebought,Thelikewasscarceevergotten,FormanyplotsithasfoundoutBeforetheyeverwerethoughton。
SaysoldSimon,etc。
WillyoubuytheRump\'sgreatsaddle,Withwhichitjockey\'dthenation?
Andhereisthebitandthebridle,Andcurbofdissimulation;
Andhere\'sthetrunk-hoseoftheRump,Andtheirfairdissemblingcloak;
AndaPresbyterianjump,WithanIndependentsmock。
SaysoldSimon,etc。
Willyoubuyaconscienceoftturn\'d,WhichservedtheHigh-Courtofjustice,Andstretch\'duntilEnglanditmourn\'d,Buthellwillbuythatiftheworstis。
Here\'sJoanCromwell\'skitchen-stufftub,WhereinisthefatoftheRumpers,WithwhicholdNoll\'shornsshedidrub,Whenhewasgotdrunkwithfalsebumbers。
SaysoldSimon,etc。
Here\'sthepurseofthepublicfaith;
Here\'sthemodeloftheSequestration,WhentheoldwivesupontheirgoodtrothLentthimblestoruinthenation。
Here\'sDickCromwell\'sProtectorship,AndhereareLambert\'scommissions,AndhereisHughPetershisscrip,Cramm\'dwithtumultuouspetitions。
SaysoldSimon,etc。
AndhereareoldNoll\'sbrewingvessels,Andherearehisdrayandhisflings;
HereareHewson\'s(36)awlandhisbristles,Withdiverseotheroddthings:
AndwhatisthepricedothbelongToallthesemattersbeforeye?
I\'llsellthemallforanoldsong,AndsoIdoendmystory。
SaysoldSimon,etc。
Ballad:TheCavalier\'sFarewellToHisMistress,BeingCalledToTheWarrsThefollowingsongwasextractedfromtheMS。DiaryoftheRev。
JohnAdamson(afterwardsRectorofBurtonCoggles,Lincolnshire),commencingin1658;byacorrespondentofNotesandQueries,FirstSeries,Jan。18,1851。
FairFidelia,temptnomore,ImaynomorethydeityadoreNoroffertothyshrine,IserveonemoredivineAndfarrmoregreatthanyou:
Imustgoe,LestthefoeGainethecauseandwintheday。
Let\'smarchbravelyon,Chargeyminthevan,OurcauseGod\'sis,ThoughtheiroddsisTentoone。
Temptnomore,ImaynotyeeldAltho\'thineeyesAkingdomemaysurprize:
Leaveoffthywantontoiles,Thehigh-bornePrinceofWalesIsmountedinthefield,Wheretheroyallgentryflocke。
ThoughaloneNoblyborneOfane\'redecayingstocke。
Cavaliers,bebold,Bravelykeepyourhold,HethatloytersIsbytraytorsBoughtandsold。
Onekissemore,andthenfarewell;
Ohno,nomore,Ipritheegivemeo\'er,-
Whycloudestthouthybeames?
IseebytheseextreamesAwoman\'sheavenorhell。
PraytheKingmayhavehisowne,AndtheQueenMaybeseenWithherbabesonEngland\'sthrone。
Rallyupyourmen,Oneshallvanquishten,Victory,weCometotrytheeOnceagen。
Ballad:TheLastNewsFromFrance[Fromvol。iii。oftheRoxburghBallads,intheBritishMuseum。]
ThelastnewsfromFrance,beingatruerelationoftheescapeoftheKingofScotsfromWorcestertoLondonandfromLondontoFrance,-whowasconveyedawaybyayounggentlemaninwoman\'sapparel;theKingofScotsattendingonthissupposedgentlewomaninmannerofaserving-man。
Tune,\"WhentheKingenjoyshisownagain。\"
AllyouthatdodesiretoknowWhatisbecomeoftheKingo\'Scots,IuntoyouwilltrulyshowAfterthefightofNorthernRats。
\'TwasIdidconveyHisHighnessaway,Andfromalldangerssethimfree;-
Inwomanattire,Asreasondidrequire,AndtheKinghimselfdidwaitonme。
Heofmeaservicedidcrave,Andoftentimestomestoodbare;
Inwoman\'sapparelhewasmostbrave,Andonhischinhehadnohare;
WhereverIcameMyspeechesdidframeSowellmywaiting-mantofree,ThelikewasneverknownIthinkbyanyIone,FortheKinghimselfdidwaitonme。
Mywaiting-manajewelhad,WhichIforwantofmoneysold;
BecausemyfortunewassobadWeturn\'dourjewelintogold。
Agoodshiftindeed,Intimeofourneed,ThengladwasIandgladwashe;
OurcauseitdidadvanceUntilwecametoFrance,AndtheKinghimselfdidwaitonme。
WewalkedthroughWestminsterHall,WherelawandjusticedothtakeplaceOurgriefwasgreat,ourcomfortsmall,Welooktgrimdeathallintheface。
Ilooktroundabout,AndmadenootherdoubtButIandmymanshouldtakenbe;
Thepeoplelittleknew,AsImaytelltoyou,TheKinghimselfdidwaitonme。
FromthencewewenttothefatalplaceWherehisfatherlosthislife;
Andthenmymandidweepapace,Andsorrowwithhimthenwasrife。
Ibidhimpeace,Letsorrowcease,Forfearthatweshouldtakenbe。
ThegallantsinWhitehallDidlittleknowatallThattheKinghimselfdidwaitonme。
TheKinghewasmyserving-man,Andthustheplotwedidcontrive:
IwentbythenameofMistressAnneWhenwetookwateratQueenhythe。
Aboattherewetook,AndLondonforsook,AndnowinFrancearrivedarewe。
Wegotawaybystealth,AndtheKingisingoodhealth,Andheshallnolongerwaitonme。
TheKingofDenmark\'sdead,theysay,ThenCharlesisliketoruletheland;
InFrancehewillnolongerstay,AsIdorightlyunderstand。
Thatlandishisdue,Iftheybebuttrue,Andhewiththemdowellagree:
IheardabirdsingIfheoncebetheirking,Mymanwillthenmymasterbe。
NowHeavengrantthembettersuccessWiththeiryoungkingthanEnglandhad;
Freefromwarandfromdistress,Theirfortunemaynotbesobad;
Sincethecasethusstands,LetneighbouringlandsLaydowntheirarmsandatquietbe;
Butasformypart,IamgladwithallmyheartThatmyKingmustnowmymasterbe。
AndthusIhavedeclaredtoyouBywhatmeansweescapedaway;
Nowwebidourcaresadieu,ThoughtheKingdidlosetheday。
TohimIwastrue,Andthathewellknew;
\'TisGodthatmusthiscomfortbe,ElseallourpolicyHadbeenbutfoolery,FortheKingnolongerwaitsonme。
Ballad:SongToTheFigureTwoFromvol。ii。oftheRoxburghBallads,intheBritishMuseum。
AmerrynewsongwhereinyoumayviewThedrinkinghealthsofajoviallcrew,Tot\'happiereturnofthefigureofTWO。
ThefigureofTWOisapalpableallusiontoCharlesII。Tune,\"Ragged,andtorn,andtrue。\"
Ihavebeenatravellerlong,Andseentheconditionsofall;
Iseehoweachothertheywrong,Andtheweakeststillgoestothewall。
AndhereI\'llbegintorelateThecrosseconditionofthoseThathinderourhappyfate,Andnowareturnedourfoes。
Here\'sahealthtothefigureofTWO,Totherestoftheissuerenown\'d;
We\'llbidalloursorrowsadieu,WhenthefigureofTWOshallbecrown\'d。
Icrossedtheoceanoflate,AndthereIdidmeetwithacrosse,Buthavingaprettyestate,Ineverlamentedmylosse:
Ineverlamentedmyharmes,AndyetIwaswondroussad;
Ifoundallthelandupinarms,AndIthoughtallthefolkehadbinmad。
Here\'sahealth,etc。
Kindcountrymen,howfellyeout?
Ileftyouallquietandstill;
Butthingsarenowbroughtsoabout,Younothingbutplunderandkill;
Somedoeseemseeminglyholy,Andwouldbereformersofmen,Butwisdomdothlaughattheirfolly,Andsayesthey\'llbechildrenagen,Here\'sahealth,etc。
ButwoetothefigureofOne!
KingSolomontellethusso;
ButheshallbewrongedbynoneThathathtwostringstohisbow。
HowIlovethisfigureofTWO
Amongallthefiguresthatbe,I\'llmakeitappearuntoyouIfthatyouwilllistentome。
Here\'sahealth,etc。
ObservewhentheweatheriscoldIwearacaponmyhead,Butwish,ifImaybesobold,ThefigureofTWOinmybed。
TWOinmybedIdocrave,Andthatismyselfandmymate;
ButpraydonotthinkIwouldhaveTWOlargegreathornesonmypate。
Here\'sahealth,etc。
SinceNaturehathgiventwohands,ButwhentheyarefoulImightscornthem;
Yetpeoplethusmuchunderstands,TWOfinewhitegloveswilladornthem。
TWOfeetfortobearupmybody,Nomorehadtheknightofthesun;
ButpeoplewouldthinkmeanoddyIftwoshoesIwouldnotputon。
Here\'sahealth,etc。
ThefigureofTWOisathingThatwecannotwelllivewithout,Nomorethanwithoutagoodking,Thoughwebeneversostout;
Andthuswemaywellunderstand,Ifeverourtroublesshouldcease,TwoneedfulthingsinalandIsakingandajusticeofpeace。
Here\'sahealth,etc。
Andnowfortodrawtoanend,Iwishagoodhappyconclusion,TheStatewouldsomuchstandourfriend,Toendthisunhappyconfusion;
Thewhichmightbedoneinatrice,IngivingofCaesarhisdue;
IfweweresohonestandwiseAstothinkofthefigureofTWO。
Here\'sahealth,etc。
Ifanydesiretoknow,ThisriddleInowwillunfold,Itisamanwrappedinwoe,Whosefatheriswrappedinmould:
Sonowtoconcludemysong,ImentionhimsomuchtheratherBecausehehathsuffer\'dsomewrong,Andbearsupthenameofhisfather。
Here\'sahealth,etc。
Ballad:TheReformationWrittenintheyear1652,bySamuelButler。FromhisPosthumousWorks。
TellmenotofLordsandlaws,Rulesorreformation;
Allthat\'sdonenotworthtwostrawsTothewelfareofthenation;
Ifmeninpowerdorantitstill,AndgivenoreasonbuttheirwillForalltheirdomination;
Oriftheydoanactthat\'sjust,\'Tisnotbecausetheywould,butmust,Togratifysomeparty\'slust。
AllourexpenseofbloodandpurseHasyetproducednoprofit;
Menarestillasbadorworse,Andwillwhate\'ercomesofit。
We\'veshuffledoutandshuffledinTheperson,butretainthesin,Tomakeourgamethesurer;
Yetspightofallourpainsandskill,Theknavesallinthepackarestill,Andeverwere,andeverwill,Thoughsomethingnowdemurer。
Anditcanneverbeso,Sinceknavesarestillinfashion;
Menofsoulssobaseandlow,Meerbigotsofthenation;
Whosedesignsarepowerandwealth,Atwhichbyrapine,power,andstealth,Audaciouslytheyvent\'reye;
Theylaytheirconsciencesaside,Andturnwitheverywindandtide,Puff\'donbyignoranceandpride,Andalltolooklikegentry。
Crimesarenotpunish\'d\'causethey\'recrimes,Butcausethey\'relowandlittle:
MeanmenformeanfaultsinthesetimesMakesatisfactiontotittle;
WhilethoseinofficeandinpowerBoldlytheunderlingsdevour,Ourcobweblawscan\'thold\'em;
TheysellformanyathousandcrownThingswhichwereneveryettheirown,Andthisislawandcustomgrown,\'Causethosedojudgewhosold\'em。
Brothersstillwithbrothersbrawl,Andfortriflessue\'em;
FortwopronounsthatspoilallContentiousMEUMandTUUM。
ThewarylawyerbuysandbuildsWhiletheclientsellshisfieldsTosacrificehisfury;
Andwhenhethinkst\'obtainhisright,He\'sbaffledofforbeatenquiteBythejudge\'swill,orlawyer\'sslight,Orignoranceofthejury。
SeethetradesmanhowhethrivesWithperpetualtrouble:
Howhecheatsandhowhestrives,Hisestatet\'enlargeanddouble;
Extort,oppress,grindandencroach,Tobeasquireandkeepacoach,Andtobeoneo\'th\'quorum;
Whomaywith\'sbrother-worshipssit,Andjudgewithoutlaw,fear,orwit,Poorpettythieves,thatnothingget,Andyetarebroughtbefore\'em。
AndhiswaytogetallthisIsmeredissimulation;
Nofactiouslecturedoeshemiss,And\'scapenoschismthat\'sinfashion:
Butwithshorthairandshiningshoes,Hewithtwopensandnote-bookgoes,Andwinksandwritesatrandom;
Thencewithshortmealandtediousgrace,Inaloudtoneandpublicplace,Singswisdom\'shymns,thattrotandpaceAsifGoliahscann\'d\'em。
ButwhenDeathbeginshisthreats,AndhisconsciencestrugglesTocalltomindhisformercheats,ThenatHeavenheturnsandjuggles:
Andoutofall\'sill-gottenstoreHegivesadribblingtothepoor;
Anhospitalorschool-house;
Andthesuborn\'dpriestforhishireQuitefreeshimfromth\'infernalfire,Andplaceshiminth\'angel\'squire:
ThustheseJack-puddingsfoolus!
Allhegetsby\'spainsi\'th\'close,Is,thathedy\'dworthsomuch;
Whichheon\'sdoubtfulseedbestows,Thatneithercarenorknowmuch:
Thenfortune\'sfavourite,hisheir,Bredbaseandignorantandbare,Isblownuplikeabubble:
Whowonderingat\'sownsuddenrise,Bypride,simplicity,andvice,Fallstohissports,drink,drabs,anddice,Andmakeallflylikestubble。
AndtheChurch,theothertwin,Whosemadzealenragedus,IsnotpurifiedapinByallthosebroilsinwhichth\'engagedus:
Weourwivesturn\'doutofdoors,Andtookinconcubinesandwhores,Tomakeanalteration;
Ourpulpitorsareproudandbold,Theytheirownwillsandfactionshold,Andsellsalvationstillforgold,Andhere\'sourREFORMATION!
\'TisamadnessthentomakeThrivingouremployment,Andlucreloveforlucre\'ssake,Sincewe\'vepossession,notenjoyment:
Letthetimesrunontheircourse,Foroppressionmakesthemworse,Wene\'ershallbetterfind\'em;
Letgrandeeswealthandpowerengross,Andhonour,too,whilewesitclose,AndlaughandtakeourplenteousdoseOfsack,andnevermind\'em。
Ballad:UponTheGeneralPardonPassedByTheRumpFromabroadsideintheKing\'sPamphlets,BritishMuseum。AfterCromwell\'svictoryatWorcester,heprevailedontheParliamenttopassageneral,orquasi-general,amnestyforallpoliticaloffencescommittedpriortothattime。
Rejoice,rejoice,yeCavaliers,Forherecomesthatdispelsyourfears;
Ageneralpardonisnowpast,Whatwaslonglook\'dfor,comesatlast。
Itpardonsallthatareundone;
ThePopene\'ergrantedsuchaone:
Solong,solarge,sofull,sofree,OhwhatagloriousStatehavewe!
Yetdonotjoytoomuch,myfriends,Firstseehowwellthispardonends;
Forthoughithathagloriousface,Ifearthere\'sin\'tbutlittlegrace。
\'Tissaidthemountainsoncebroughtforth,-
Andwhatbroughtthey?amouse,introth;
OurStateshavedonethelike,Idoubt,Inthistheirpardonnowsetout。
We\'lllookito\'er,then,ifyouplease,Andseewhereinitbringsusease:
Andfirst,itpardonswords,Ifind,AgainstourState-wordsarebutwind。
Hathanypray\'dforth\'Kingoflate,Andwish\'dconfusiontoourState?
Andcall\'dthemrebels?HemaycomeinAndpleadthispardonforthatsin。
Hasanycall\'dKingCharlesthat\'sdeadAmartyr-hethatlosthishead?
Andvillainsthosethatdidthefact?
Thatmanispardon\'dbythisAct。
HathanysaidourParliamentIsuchaoneasGodne\'ersent?
Orhathhewrit,andputinprint,Thathebelievesthedevil\'sin\'t?
OrhathhesaidthereneverwereSuchtyrantsanywhereashere?
Thoughthisoffenceofhisbehigh,He\'spardon\'dforhisblasphemy。
Youseehowlargethispardonis,ItpardonsallourMERCURIES,(37)
Andpoetstoo,foryouknowtheyArepoor,andhavenotaughttopay。
Forwherethere\'smoneytobegot,Ifindthispardonpardonsnot;
Malignantsthatwererichbefore,Shallnotbepardon\'dtillthey\'repoor。
Hathanyonebeentruetoth\'Crown,Andforthatpaidhismoneydown,BythisnewActheshallbefree,Andpardon\'dforhisloyalty。
Whohavetheirlandsconfiscatequite,Fornotcompoundingwhentheymight;
Ifthattheyknownothowtodig,Thispardongivesthemleavetobeg。
BeforethisActcameoutinprint,Wethoughttherehadbeencomfortin\'t;
Wedranksomehealthstothehigherpowers,Butnowwe\'veseen\'tthey\'dneeddrinkours。
ForbythisActitisthoughtfitThatnomanshallhavebenefit,UnlesshefirstengagetobeArebeltoeternity。
Thus,inthispardonitisclearThatnothing\'shereandnothing\'sthere:
IthinkourStatesdomeantochokeusWiththisnewActofHOCUSPOCUS。
Well,sincethisAct\'snotworthapin,We\'llprayourStatestocallitin,FormostmenthinkitoughttobeBurntbythehandofGregory。
Then,toconclude,here\'slittlejoyForthosethatprayVIVELEROY!
Butsincethey\'llnotforgetourcrimes,We\'llkeepourmirthtillbettertimes。
Ballad:AnOldSongOnOliver\'sCourtWrittenintheyear1654,bySamuelButler。
HethatwouldanewcourtierbeAndofthelatecoyn\'dgentry;
Abrotheroftheprick-earedcrew,Halfapresbyter,halfaJew,Whenheisdipp\'dinJordan\'sflood,Andwash\'dhishandsinroyalblood,Lethimtoourcourtrepair,Wherealltradesandreligionsare。
Ifhecandevoutlypray,Feastuponafastingday,BelongerblessingawarmbitThanthecookwasdressingit;
Withcovenantsandoathsdispense,Betrayhislordforfortypence,Lethim,etc。
Ifhebeoneoftheeatingtribe,BothaPhariseeandaScribe,Andhathlearn\'dthesnivellingtoneOfaflux\'ddevotion;
CursingfromhissweatingtubTheCavalierstoBeelzebub,Lethim,etc。
Whosicklerthanthecityruff,Canchangehisbrewer\'scoattobuff,Hisdray-carttoacoach,thebeastIntoFlandersmaresatleast;
Nay,haththearttomurderkings,LikeDavid,onlywithhisslings,Lethim,etc。
Ifhecaninverttheword,Turninghisploughsharetoasword,Hiscassocktoacoatofmail;
\'Gainstbishopsandtheclergyrail;
ConvertPaul\'schurchintothemews;
Makeanewcolonelofoldshoes,Lethim,etc。
WhohathcommissiontoconveyBothsexestoJAMAICA,TheretobegetnewbabesofgraceOnwencheshotterthantheplace,WhocarryintheirtailsafireWillratherscorchthanquenchdesire,Lethim,etc。
Ballad:TheParliamentRouted,OrHere\'sAHouseToBeLetIhopethatEngland,aftermanyjarres,Shallbeatpeace,andgivenowaytowarres:
OLord,protectthegenerall,thatheMaybetheagentofourunitie。
WrittenuponthedissolutionoftheLongParliamentbyCromwell,onthe20thApril,1653,andextractedfromtheKing\'sPamphlets,BritishMuseum。June3rd,1653。
Tothetuneof\"Lucina,or,MerrilyandCherrily。\"
Cheareup,kindcountrymen,benotdismay\'d,TruenewsIcantellyeconcerningthenation;
Hotspiritsarequench\'d,thetempestislayd,(Andnowwemayhopeforagoodreformation)。
TheParliamentboldandthecounsellofstateDoewishthembeyondsea,orelseatVirginie;
Fornowalltheirordersarequiteoutofdate,TwelveParliamentmenshallbesoldforpeny。
Fulltwelveyearsandmoretheserookstheyhavesat,Togullandtocozenalltrue-heartedpeople;
Ourgoldandoursilverhasmadethemsofat,ThattheylooktmorebigandmightythanPaul\'ssteeple。
Thefreedomeofsubjecttheymuchdidpretend,Butsincetheyboreswayweneverhadany;
Foreverymemberpromotedself-end,TwelveParliamentmenarenowsoldforonepeny。
Theiractsandtheirorderswhichtheyhavecontrived,Wasstillinconclusiontomultiplyriches:
TheCommon-wealthsweetlybythesemenhavethrived,AsLancashiredidwiththejunctoofwitches。(38)
Oh!ourfreedomewaschain\'dtotheEgyptianyoak,Asithathbeenfeltandenduredbymany,Stillmakingreligiontheirauthorandcloak,TwelveParliamentmenshallbesoldforapeny。
BothcitieandcountreyarealmostundoneBythesecaterpillars,whichswarm\'dinthenation;
Theirimpsandtheirgoblinsdidupanddownerun,Excise-men,Imeane,allknavesofafashion:
Forallthegreattreasurethatdaylycamein,Thesouldierwantspay,\'tiswellknownebyamany;
Tocheatandtocozentheyhelditnosinne,TwelveParliamentmenshallbesoldforapeny。
Thelandandthelivingswhichthesemenhavehad,\'Twouldmakeoneadmirewhatusethey\'vemadeofit,Withplateandwithjewelstheyhavebinwellclad,Thesouldierfaredhardwhilsttheygottheprofit。
OurgoldandoursilvertoHollandtheysent,Butbeingfoundout,thisisknownebyamany,Thatnoonewouldowneitforfeareofashent,TwelveParliamentmenaresoldforapeny。
\'TisjudgedbymostpeoplethattheywerethecauseOfEnglandandHolland,theirwarringtogether,(39)
Bothfriendsanddearloverstobreakcivilllawes,Andincruellmannertokilloneanother。
Whatcaredtheyhowmanydidlosetheirdearlives,Sotheybythebargaindidgetpeople\'smoney,Sittingsecurelikebeesintheirhives?
ButtwelveParliamentmenarenowsoldforapeny。
THESECONDPART
Tothesametune。
Theyvoted,unvoted,asfancydidguide,Topasseawaytime,butincreasingtheirtreasure(WhenJackisoncock-horsehee\'lgallopingride,Butfallingatlast,hee\'lrepentitatleisure)。
Thewidow,thefatherlesse,gentryandpoore,Thetradesmanandcitizen,withagreatmany,Havesuffer\'dfulldearlytoheapuptheirstore;
ButtwelveParliamentmenshallbesoldforapeny。
TheseburdensandgrievancesEnglandhathfelt,Solongandsoheavy,ourheartsaree\'enbroken,Ourplate,goldandsilver,tothemselvesthey\'vedealt(Allthisistootrue,ingoodtimebeitspoken)。
Foramantorisehighandatlasttofalllow,Itisadiscredit:thislotfalstomany,But\'tisnogreatmatterthesementoserveso,TwelveParliamentmennowaresoldforapeny。
Thegenerall(40)perceivingtheirlustfulldesireTocovetmoretreasure,beingpuftwithambition,Bytheiractsandtheirorderstosetallonfire,Pretendingreligiontoroutsuperstition:
HebravelycommandedthesouldierstogoeIntheParliament-house,indefianceofany;
Towhichtheyconsented,andnowyoudoeknowThattwelveParliamentmenmaybesoldforapeny。
Thesouldiersundauntedlaidholdonthemace,Andoutofthechairetheyremovedthespeaker:
Thegreatoneswastheninapittifullcase,AndTaveecrydout,Allhercoldmustforsakeher。(41)
Thustheywererouted,plucktoutbytheeares,TheHousewassooneemptyandridofamanyUsurpers,thatsatetherethisthirteenlongyeares;
TwelveParliamentmenmaybesoldforapeny。
TotheTowerofLondonawaytheyweresent,Astheyhavesentothersbythemcaptivated;
OhwhatwillbecomeofthisoldParliamentAndalltheircompeers,thatwereroyallystated。
WhattheyhavedeservedIwishtheymayhave,And\'tisthedesireIknowofamany;
Forustohavefreedome,ohthatwillbebrave!
ButtwelveParliamentmenmaybesoldforapeny。
Let\'sprayforthegenerallandallhisbravetraine,HemaybeaninstrumentforEngland\'sblessing,Appointedinheaventofreeusagaine,-
Forthisisthewayofourburdensredressing:
ForEnglandtobeingloryoncemore,Itwouldsatisfy,Iknow,agreatmany;
ButendingIsay,asIsaidbefore,TwelveParliamentmennowaresoldforapeny。
Ballad:AChristmasSongWhenTheRumpWasFirstDissolvedFromtheKing\'sPamphlets,BritishMuseum。TheRumpParliament,inanexcessofPuritanicacerbity,hadabolishedtheobservanceofChristmas,andforbiddentheeatingofpuddingsandpies,assavouringofPopery。
Tune-\"Itellthee,Dick。\"
ThisChristmastime\'tisfitthatweShouldfeast,andsing,andmerrybe。
Itisatimeofmirth;
ForneversincetheworldbeganMorejoyfulnewswasbroughttomanThanatourSaviour\'sbirth。
Butsuchhavebeenthesetimesoflate,Thatholidaysareoutofdate,Andholinesstoboot;
FortheythatdodespiseandscornTokeepthedaythatChristwasborn,Wantholinessnodoubt。
ThatParliamentthattookawayTheobservationofthatday,Weknowitwasnotfree;
Forifithad,suchactsasthoseHadne\'erbeenseeninverseorprose,Youmayconcludewithme。
\'TwasthatAssemblydidmaintain\'Twaslawtokilltheirsovereign,Whobythatlawmustdie;
ThoughGod\'sanointedonesaresuch,Whichsubjectsshouldnotdaretotouch,Muchlesstocrucify。
\'Twasthatwhichturn\'dourbishopsoutOfhouseandhome,bothbranchandroot,Andgavenoreasonwhy;
Andallourclergydidexpel,Thatwouldnotdolikethatrebel-
Thisnomancandeny。
ItwasthatParliamentthattookOutofourchurchesourSERVICEBOOK,Abookwithoutcompare;
AndmadeGod\'shouse(toallourgriefs),Thathouseofprayer,adenofthiefs\'
Bothhereandeverywhere。
Theyhadnoheadformanyyears,Norheart(ImeantheHouseofPeers),Andyetitdidnotdie;
Oftheselongsinceitwasbereft,Andnothingbutthetailwasleft,YouknowaswellasI。
Andinthistailwasatongue,Lenthal(42)Imean,whosefamehathrungIncountryandincity;
Notforhisworthoreloquence,Butforarebeltohisprince,Andneitherwisenorwitty。
ThisSpeaker\'swordsmustneedsbewind,Sincetheyproceededfrombehind;
Besides,youwayremember,Fromthencenoactcouldbediscreet,Norcouldthesenseo\'theHousebesweetWhereAtkinswasamember。
Thistale\'snowdone,theSpeaker\'sdumb,Thankstothetrumpetandthedrum;
AndnowIhopetoseeAParliamentthatwillrestoreAllthingsthatwereundonebefore,ThatwemayChristiansbe。
Ballad:AFreeParliamentLitanyFromtheKing\'sPamphlets,BritishMuseum-(A。D。1655。)Tothetuneof\"AnOldCourtieroftheQueen\'s。\"
Moreballads!-here\'saspickandspannewsupplication,ByorderofaCommitteefortheReformation,Tobereadinallchurchesandchapelsofthisnation,Uponpainofslaveryandsequestration。
FromfoolsandknavesinourParliamentfree,LIBERANOS,DOMINE。
Fromthosethatha\'morereligionandlessconsciencethantheirfellows;
Fromarepresentativethat\'sfearfulandzealous;
Fromastartingjadishpeoplethatistroubledwiththeyellows,Andapriestthatblowsthecoal(acrackinhisbellows);
Fromfoolsandknaves,etc。
Fromshepherdsthatleadtheirflocksintothebriars,Andthenfleece\'em;fromvow-breakersandking-tryers;
OfChurchandCrownlands,frombothsellersandbuyers;
Fromthechildrenofhimthatisthefatherofliars;
Fromfoolsandknaves,etc。
FromthedoctrineanddisciplineofNOWANDANON,PreserveusandourwivesfromJohnT。andSaintJohn,Likemasterlikeman,everywaybutone,-
Themasterhasalargeconscience,andthemanhasnone;
Fromfoolsandknaves,etc。
Frommajor-generals,armyofficers,andthatphanatiquecrew;
Fromtheparboil\'dpimpScot,andfromGood-facetheJew;
FromoldMildmay,thatinCheapsidemistookhisqueu,Andfromhimthatwon\'tpledge-Givethedevilhisdue;
Fromfoolsandknaves,etc。
Fromlong-windedspeeches,andnotawiseword;
Fromagospelministrysettledbythesword;
FromtheactofaRump,thatstinkswhen\'tisstirr\'d;
Fromaknightofthepost,andacobblinglord;
Fromfoolsandknaves,etc。
Fromalltherichpeoplethatha\'madeuspoor;
FromaSpeakerthatcreepstotheHousebyaback-door;
Fromthatbadger,Robinson(thatlimpsandbitessore);
Andthatdoginadoublet,Arthur-thatwilldosonomore;
Fromfoolsandknaves,etc。
Fromacertainslyknavewithabeastlyname;
FromaParliamentthat\'swild,andapeoplethat\'stame;
FromSkippon,Titchbourne,Ireton,-andanotherofthesame;
Fromadung-hillcock,andahenofthegame;
Fromfoolsandknaves,etc。
FromallthosethatsatintheHighCourtofJustice;
Fromusurpersthatstylethemselvesthepeople\'strustees;
FromanoldRump,inwhichneitherprofitnorgustis,Andfromtherecoveryofthatwhichnowinthedustis;
Fromfoolsandknaves,etc。
Fromabackslidingsaintthatpretendt\'acquiesce;
Fromcrossingofproverbs(let\'umhangthatconfess);
Fromasnivelingcause,inapontificalldress,Andtwolawyers,withthedevilandhisdaminamess;
Fromfoolsandknaves,etc。
Fromthosethattroublethewaterstomendthefishing,AndfighttheLord\'sbattlesunderthedevil\'scommission,Suchaseatupthenation,whilstthegovernment\'sa-dishing;
Andfromapeoplewhenitshouldbedoing,standswishing;
Fromfoolsandknaves,etc。
Fromaneverlastingmock-parliament-andfromNONE;
FromStrafford\'soldfriends-Harry,Jack,andJohn;
Fromoursolicitor\'swolf-lawdeliverourKing\'sson;
AndfromtheresurrectionoftheRumpthatisdeadandgone;
Fromfoolsandknaves,etc。
Fromforeigninvasionandcommotionsathome;
Fromourpresentdistraction,andfromworktocome;
FromthesamehandagainSmectymnus,orthebum,AndfromtakingGenevainourwaytoRome;
Fromfoolsandknaves,etc。
Fromahundredthousandpoundtaxtokeepknavesbythescore(Butitiswellgiventothesethatturn\'dthoseoutofdoor);
Fromundoingourselvesinplaisteringoldsores;
Hethatsetthema-work,lethimpaytheirscores;
Fromfoolsandknaves,etc。
Fromsaintsandtenderconsciencesinbuff;
FromMounsoninafoam,andHasleriginahuff;
Frombothmenandwomenthatthinktheyneverhaveenough;
Andfromafool\'sheadthatlooksthroughachainandaduff;
Fromfoolsandknaves,etc。
Fromthosethatwoulddividethegen\'ralandthecity;
FromHarryMartin\'sgirl,thatwasneithersweetnorpretty;
Fromafactionthathasneitherbrainnorpity:
Fromthemercyofaphanatiquecommittee;
Fromfoolsandknaves,etc。
Preserveus,goodHeaven,fromentrustingthoseThatha\'muchtogetandlittletolose;
Thatmurther\'dthefather,andthesonwoulddepose(Suretheycan\'tbeourfriendsthataretheircountry\'sfoes);
Fromfoolsandknaves,etc。
FromBradshaw\'spresumption,andfromHoyle\'sdespairs;
Fromrottenmembers,blindguides,preachingaldermen,andfalsemay\'rs;
Fromlongknives,longears,longparliaments,andlongpray\'rs;
Inmercytothisnation-Deliverusandourheirs;
Fromfoolsandknaves,etc。
Ballad:TheMockSongByT。J。WithareplybyAlex。Brome-(A。D。1657。)
Hold,hold,quaffnomore,ButrestoreIfyoucanwhatyou\'velostbyyourdrinking:
Threekingdomsandcrowns,Withtheircitiesandtowns,WhiletheKingandhisprogeny\'ssinking。
Thestudsinyourcheekshaveobscuredhisstar,boys,Yourdrinkingmiscarriagesinthelatewar,boys,Havebroughthisprerogativenowtothewar,boys。
Throw,throwdowntheglass!
He\'sanassThatextractsallhisworthfromCanary;
ThatvalourwillshrinkThat\'sonlygoodindrink;
\'Twasthecupmadethecamptomiscarry。
Youthoughtintheworldthere\'snopowercouldtameye,Youtippledandwhoredtillthefoeovercameye;
God\'snigsandNe\'erstir,sirs,hasvanquish\'dGoddamnme。
Fly,flyfromthecoast,Oryou\'relost,Andthewaterwillrunwherethedrinkwent;
Fromhenceyoumustslink,Ifyouhavenochink,\'Tisthecourseoftheroyaldelinquent;
Youlovetoseebeer-bowlsturn\'doverthethumbwell,Youlikethreefairgamesters,fourdice,andadrumwell,Butyou\'dasliefseethedevilasFairfaxorCromwell。
Drink,drinknottheround,You\'llbedrown\'dInthesourceofyoursackandyoursonnets;
TryoncemoreyourfateFortheKingagainsttheState,Andgobarteryourbeaversforbonnets。
Youseehowthey\'recharm\'dbytheKing\'senchanters,AndthereforepackhencetoVirginiaforplanters,Foranactandtwored-coatswillroutalltheranters。
THEANSWER
ByAlex。Brome。
Stay,stay,pratenomore,Lestthybrain,likethypurse,runthescore,Thoughthoustrain\'stit;
ThosearetraitorsingrainThatofsackdocomplain,Andrailbyitsownpoweragainstit。
Thosekingdomsandcrownswhichyourpoetrypities,Arefall\'nbytheprideandhypocrisyofcities,Andnotbythosebrainsthatlovesackandgoodditties;
TheK。andhisprogenyhadkeptthemfromsinking,Hadtheyhadnoworsefoesthantheladsthatlovedrinking,Wethattippleha\'noleisureforplottingorthinking。
HeisanassThatdoththrowdownhimselfwithaglassOfCanary;
Hethat\'squietwillthinkMuchthebetterofdrink,\'Causethecupsmadethecamptomiscarry。
Youwhorewhilewetipple,andthere,myfriend,youlie,YoursportsdiddetermineinthemonthofJuly;
There\'slessfraudinplaindammethanyourslybymytruly;
\'Tissackmakesourbloodsbothpurerandwarmer,Weneednotyourpriestorthefemininecharmer,ForabowlofCanary\'sawholesuitofarmour。
Hold,hold,notsofast,Tippleon,forthereisnosuchhasteTobegoing;
Wedrowningmayfear,ButyourendwillbethereWherethereisneitherswimmingnorrowing。
Weweregamestersalike,andourstakeswerebothdown,boys,ButFortunedidfavouryou,beingherown,boys;
Andwhowouldnotventureacastforacrown,boys?
Sinceweweartherightcolours,hetheworstofourfoesisThatgoestotraduce,andfondlysupposesThatCromwell\'sanenemytosackandrednoses。
Then,then,quaffitround,Nodeceitinabrimmerisfound;
Here\'snoswearing:
BeerandalemakesyouprateOftheChurchandtheState,Wantingotherdiscourseworththehearing。
Thisstrumpetyourmuseis,toballadorflatter,Orrail,andyourbetterswithfrothtobespatter,Andyourtalk\'salldismalsandgunpowdermatter;
Butwe,whileoldsackdoesdivinelyinspireus,Areactivetodowhatourrulersrequireus,Andattemptsuchexploitsastheworldshalladmireus。
Ballad:AsCloseAsAGooseBySamuelButler-(A。D。1657。)ThisballadridiculesthetenderoftheCrownofEnglandtoOliverCromwellbyAldermanPack,M。P。
forLondon。
AscloseasagooseSattheParliament-house,Tohatchtheroyalgull;
Aftermuchfiddle-faddleTheeggprovedaddle,AndOlivercameforthNOLL。
YetoldQueenMadge,(43)
Thoughthingsdonotfadge,WillservetobequeenofaMay-pole;
TwoPrincesofWales,(44)
ForWhitsun-ales,Andhergrace,MaidMarionClaypole。(45)
InarobeofcowhideSatyeastyPride,(46)
Withhisdaggerandhissling;
HewasthepertinenstpeerOfallthatwerethere,T\'advisewithsuchaking。
AgreatphilosopherHadagooseforhisloverThatfollow\'dhimdayandnight:
Ifitbeatruestory,Orbutanallegory,Itmaybebothwaysright。
Strickland(47)andhisson,Bothcastintoone,Weremeantforasinglebaron;
Butwhentheycametosit,TherewasnotwitEnoughinthembothtoserveforone。
Wherefore\'twasthoughtgoodToaddHoneywood,ButwhentheycametotrialEachoneprovedafool,Yetthreeknavesinthewhole,AndthatmadeupaPAIR-ROYAL。
Ballad:ThePrisonersWrittenwhenO。C。attemptedtobeKing。ByAlex。Brome。
Come,abrimmer(mybullies),drinkwholeonesornothing,Nowhealthshavebeenvoteddown;
\'Tissackthatcanheatus,wecarenotforclothing,Agallon\'saswarmasagown;
\'CausetheParliamentseesNortheformernortheseCouldengageustodrinktheirhealth,TheymayvotethatweshallDrinknohealthsatall,NottoKingnortoCommonwealth,Sothatnowwemustventuretodrink\'embystealth。
Butwe\'vefoundoutawaythat\'sbeyondalltheirthinking;
Tokeepupgoodfellowshipstill,We\'lldrinktheirdestructionthatwoulddestroydrinking,-
Let\'umvoteTHATahealthiftheywill。
Thosementhatdidfight,AnddidpraydayandnightFortheParliamentanditsattendant,DidmakeallthatbustleTheKingouttojustle,AndbringintheIndependent,Butnowweallclearlyseewhatwastheendon\'t。
Nowtheiridolsthrowndownwiththeirsooter-kinalso,Aboutwhichtheydidmakesuchapother;
Andtho\'theircontrivancedidmakeonethingtofallso,Wehavedrankourselvesintoanother;
Andnow(mylads)weMaystillCavaliersbe,InspiteoftheCommittee\'sfrown;
Wewilldrinkandwe\'llsing,AndeachhealthtoourKingShallbeloyallydrunkinthe\'CROWN,\'
Whichshallbethestandardineverytown。
Theirpolitickwould-be\'sdobutshowthemselvesassesThatothermen\'scallinginvade;
Weonlyconversewithpotsandwithglasses,Lettherulersalonewiththeirtrade;
TheLyonoftheTowerThereestatesdoesdevour,Withoutshowinglawfor\'torreason;
IntoprisonwegetForthecrimecalleddebt,Whereourbodiesandbrainswedoseason,Andthatisne\'ertakenformurderortreason。
Whereourdittiesstillbe,Give\'smoredrink,give\'smoredrink,boys。
Letthosethatarefrugaltakecare;
Ourgaolersandwewilllivebyourchink,boys,Whileourcreditorslivebytheair;
Hereweliveatourease,Andgetcraftandgrease,\'Tillwe\'vemerrilyspentallourstore;
Then,asdrinkbroughtusin,\'Twillredeemusagen;
Wegotinbecausewewerepoor,Andswearourselvesoutontheverysamescore。
Ballad:TheProtectingBrewerThiswasapparentlywrittenasaparodyontheBrewer,inPillstopurgeMelancholy,1682。TheoriginalwastoocomplimentarytoOliverCromwell,assertedbytheRoyaliststohavebeenabrewerinearlylife,tosuitthetasteoftheCavaliers,andhencethealterationmadeinit。Suchcomplimentsasthefollowingmusthaveproceededfromawriteroftheoppositeparty。
SomeChristiankingsbegantoquake,AndsaidWiththebrewernoquarrelwe\'llmake,We\'lllethimalone;ashebrewslethimbake;
Whichnobodycandeny。
Hehadastrongandaverystoutheart,AndthoughttobemadeanEmperorfor\'t,*****
Whichnobodycandeny。
ABrewermaybeaburgessgrave,Andcarrythemattersofineandsobrave,Thathethebettermayplaytheknave,Whichnobodycandeny。
AbrewermayputonaNabalface,AndmarchtothewarswithsuchagraceThathemaygetacaptain\'splace;
Whichnobody,etc。
AbrewermayspeaksowondrouswellThathemayrise(strangethingstotell),Andsobemadeacolonel;
Whichnobody,etc。
Abrewermaymakehisfoestoflee,Andrisehisfortunes,sothatheLieutenant-generalmaybe;
Whichnobody,etc。
Abrewermaybeallinall,Andraisehispowers,bothgreatandsmall,Thathemaybealordgeneral;
Whichnobody,etc。
Abrewermaybelikeafoxinacub,Andteachalectureoutofatub,Andgivethewickedworldarub;
Whichnobody,etc。
Abrewer,by\'sexciseandrate,Willpromisehisarmyheknowswhat,Andsetuponthecollege-gate;
Whichnobody,etc。
MethinksIhearonesaytome,PraywhymaynotabrewerbeLordChancelloro\'theUniversity?
Whichnobody,etc。
AbrewermaybeasboldasHector,Whenashehaddrankhiscupo\'Nectar,AndabrewermaybeaLordProtector;
Whichnobody,etc。
Nowhereremainsthestrangestthing,HowthisbrewerabouthisliquordidbringTobeanemperororaking;
Whichnobody,etc。
Abrewermaydowhathewill,AndrobtheChurchandState,tosellHissouluntothedevilinhell;
Whichnobody,etc。
Ballad:TheArraignmentOfTheDevilForStealingAwayPresidentBradshawJohnBradshaw,whohadpresidedoverthecourtofjusticewhichcondemnedCharlesI。tothescaffold,andwhobyhisextremerepublicanprincipleshadrenderedhimselfobnoxioustoCromwell,beganagaintobedistinguishedinpublicaffairsaftertheProtector\'sdeath,andwaselectedPresidentoftheCouncilofState。Hedidnotlivelongtoenjoythishonour,butdied,accordingtosomeauthorities,onthe31stOctober,1659。Chalmersplaceshisdeathonthe22ndofNovemberinthatyear。
Tothetuneof\"Well-a-day,well-a-day。\"
Ifyou\'llhearnewsthat\'sill,Gentlemen,gentlemen,Againstthedevil,IwillBetherelator;
Arraignedhemustbe,Forthatfeloniously,\'Thoutduesolemnity,Hetookatraitor。
JohnBradshawwashisname,Howitstinks!howitstinks!
Who\'llmakewithblackerfamePilateunknown。
ThisworsethanworseofthingsCondemn\'dthebestofkings,And,whatmoreguiltyetbrings,Knew\'twashisown。
VirtueinCharlesdidseemEagerly,eagerly,AndvillainyinhimTovyeforglory。
MajestysocompleatAndimpudencesogreatTillthattimenevermet:-
Buttomystory。
Accuserstherewillbe,Bitterones,bitterones,Morethanone,two,orthree,Allfullofspight;
Hangmanandtreesotall,Bridge,tower,andcity-wall,Kiteandcrow,whichwereallRobb\'doftheirright。