HegripesmythroattothatdegreeIcan\'thistalonsbear;
Andifyoudonotholdhishands,He\'llthrottleme,Ifear。
AtthisabutcherofthetownStepsuptoRalphinire,-
What,willyousqueezehisgulletthrough,Yousonofbloodandfire?
YouaretheDevil\'sinstrumentToexecutethelaws;
What,willyoumurtherthepoormanWithyourphanatickclaws?
Atwhichthesquirequitshishold,Andluggingouthisblade,Fullatthesturdybutcher\'spateAfuriousstrokehemade。
AdismaloutcrythenbeganAmongthecountryfolk;
WhoallconcludethebutcherslainBysuchamortalstroke。
Butheregoodfortune,thathasstillAfriendshipforthebrave,I\'th\'nickmisguidesthefatalblow,Anddoesthebutchersave。
Theknight,whoheardthenoisewithin,Runsoutwithmightandmain,AndseeingRalphamidstthecrowdIndangertobeslain,WithoutregardtoageorsexOldbasket-hiltsoply\'d,ThatinaninstantthreeorfourLaybleedingathisside。
AndgreatermischiefsinhisrageThisfuriousknighthaddone,IfhehadnotpreventedbeenByDick,theblacksmith\'sson,Whocatch\'dhisworshiponthehip,Andgavehimsuchasquelch,ThathesomemomentsbreathlesslayErehewasheardtobelch。
Norwasthesquireinbettercase,Bysturdybutcherply\'d,WhofromtheshouldertotheflankHadsoundlyswingedhishide。
Whilstthingsinthisconfusionstood,Andknightandsquiredisarm\'d,UpcomesaneighbouringgentlemanTheoutcryhadalarm\'d;
Whoridingupamongthecrowd,Thevicarfirsthespy\'d,WithsleevelessgownandbloodybandAndhandsbehindhimty\'d。
Blessme,sayshe,whatmeansallthis?
Thenturningroundhiseyes,Inthesameplight,orinaworse,Thecobblerbleedingspies。
Andlookingfurtherroundhesaw,Likeoneindolefuldump,Theknight,amidstagapingmob,Sitpensiveonhisrump。
AndbyhissidelayRalphhissquire,Whombutcherfellhadmaul\'d;
Whobitterlybemoan\'dhisfate,Andforasurgeoncall\'d。
Surprisedatfirsthepausedawhile,Andthenaccoststheknight,-
Whatmakesyouhere,SirSamuel,Inthisunhappyplight?
Atthistheknightgave\'sbreastathump,Andstretchingouthishand,-
Ifyouwillpullmeup,hecried,I\'lltryifIcanstand。
AndthenI\'llletyouknowthecause;
ButfirsttakecareofRalph,WhoinmygoodorillsuccessDothalwaysstandmyhalf。
Inshort,hegothisworshipupAndledhiminthedoor;
WhereheatlengthrelatesthetaleAsIhavetoldbefore。
Whenhehadheardthestoryout,Thegentlemanreplies,-
Itisnotinmyprovince,sir,Yourworshiptoadvise。
ButwereIinyourworship\'splace,TheonlythingI\'ddo,Wasfirsttoreprimandthefools,Andthentoletthemgo。
IthinkitfirstadvisableTotakethemfromtherabble,AndletthemcomeandbothsetforthTheoccasionofthesquabble。
ThisistheVicar,Sir,ofBray,Amanofnorepute,Thescornandscandalofhistribe,Aloose,ill-manner\'dbrute。
Thecobbler\'sapoorstrollingwretchThatmendsmyservants\'shoes;
AndoftencallsashegoesbyTobringmecountrynews。
Atthishisworshipgrip\'dhisbeard,Andinanangrymood,SworebythelawsofchivalryThatbloodrequiredblood。
Besides,I\'mbytheCommonwealthEntrustedtochastiseAllknavesthatstraggleupanddownToraisesuchmutinies。
However,since\'tisyourrequest,Theyshallbecall\'dandheard;
ButneitherRalphnorIcangrantSuchrascalsshouldbeclear\'d。
Andso,towindthetaleupshort,Theywerecall\'dintogether;
Andbythegentlemenwereask\'dWhatwind\'twasblewthemthither。
GoodaleandhandsomelandladiesYoumighthavenearerhome;
Andtherefore\'tisforsomethingmoreThatyousofararecome。
Towhichthevicaranswer\'dfirst,-
Mylivingissosmall,ThatIamforcedtostrollaboutTotryandgetacall。
And,quoththecobbler,IamforcedToleavemywifeanddwelling,T\'escapethedangerofbeingpress\'dTogoacolonelling。
There\'smanyanhonestjovialladUnwarilydrawnin,ThatIhavereasontosuspectWillscarcegetoutagain。
Theproverbsays,HARMWATCHHARMCATCH,I\'lloutofdangerkeep,ForhethatsleepsinawholeskinDothmostsecurelysleep。
MybusinessistomendbadsoalsAndstitchupbrokenquarters:
Acobbler\'snamewouldlookbutoddAmongalistofmartyrs。
Faith,cobbler,quoththegentleman,Andthatshallbemycase;
Iwillneitherpartyjoin,Letwhatwillcometopass。
NoimportunitiesorthreatsMyfixtresolvesshallrest;
Comehere,SirSamuel,where\'shishealthThatlovesoldEnglandbest。
IpitythoseunhappyfoolsWho,eretheywereaware,DesigningandambitiousmenHavedrawnintoasnare。
But,vicar,tocometothecase,-
Amidstasenselesscrowd,Whaturgedyoutosuchviolence,Andmadeyoutalksoloud?
PassionI\'msuredoesillbecomeYourcharacterandcloath,And,tho\'thecausebene\'ersojust,Bringsscandaluponboth。
Vicar,Ispeakitwithregret,AninadvertentpriestRendershimselfridiculous,Andeverybody\'sjest。
ThevicartobethusrebukedAlittletimestoodmute;
Buthavinggulp\'dhispassiondown,Replies,-ThatcobblingbruteHastreatedmewithsuchcontempt,Suchvileexpressionsused,ThatInolongercouldforbearTohearmyselfabused。
TherascalhadtheinsolenceTogivehimselfthelie,Andtoaverh\'haddonemoregoodAndsavedmoresoalsthanI。
Nay,further,Sir,thismiscreantTotellmewassobold,Ourtradeswereverynearofkin,Buthiswasthemoreold。
Now,Sir,IwilltoyouappealOnsuchaprovocation,IftherewasnotsufficientcauseTousealittlepassion?
Now,quoththecobbler,withyourleave,I\'llproveittohisface,Allthisismeresuggestion,Andforeigntothecase。
AndsincehecallssomanynamesAndtalkssoveryloud,Iwillbeboundtomakeitplain\'Twashethatraisedthecrowd。
Nay,further,Iwillmake\'tappearHeandthepriestshavedoneMoremischiefthanthecobblersfarAlloverChristendom。
AllEuropegroansbeneaththeiryoke,AndpoorGreatBritainowesTothemherpresentmiseries,Anddreadoffuturewoes。
ThepriestsofallreligionsareAndwillbestillthesame,Andall,tho\'inadifferentway,Areplayingthesamegame。
Atthisthegentlemanstoodup,-
Cobbler,youruntoofast;
BythuscondemningallthetribeYougobeyondyourlast。
Muchmischiefhasbypriestsbeendone,Andmoreisdoingstill;
ButthentocensureallalikeMustbeexceedingill。
Toomany,Imustneedsconfess,Aremightilytoblame,WhobytheirwickedpracticesDisgracetheveryname。
But,cobbler,stillthemajorpartTheminorshouldconclude;
Toargueatanotherrate\'sImpertinentandrude。
BythistimealltheneighboursroundWereflock\'daboutthedoor,Andsomewereonthevicar\'sside,Butonthecobbler\'smore。
Amongtherestagrazier,whoHadlatelybeenattownTosellhisoxenandhissheep,Brim-fullofnewscamedown。
Quothhe,Thepriestshavepreach\'dandpray\'d,Andmadesodamn\'dapother,ThatallthepeoplearerunmadTomurtheroneanother。
BytheircontrivancesandartsThey\'veplay\'dtheirgamesolong,Thatnomanknowswhichsideisright,Orwhichisinthewrong。
I\'msureI\'veSmithfieldmarketusedFormorethantwentyyear,ButneverdidsuchmurmuringsAnddreadfuloutcrieshear。
Someforachurch,andsomeatub,Andsomeforbothtogether;
Andsome,perhapsthegreaterpart,Havenoregardforeither。
Someforaking,andsomefornone;
AndsomehavehankeringsTomendtheCommonwealth,andmakeAnempireofallkings。
What\'sworse,oldNollismarchingoff,AndDick,hisheir-apparent,Succeedshiminthegovernment,Averylamevicegerent。
He\'llreignbutlittletime,poorfool,ButsinkbeneaththeState,Thatwillnotfailtoridethefool\'Bovecommonhorseman\'sweight。
Andrulers,whentheylosethepower,Likehorsesoverweigh\'d,Musteitherfallandbreaktheirknees,Orelseturnperfectjade。
ThevicartobetwicerebukedNolongercouldcontain;
Butthusreplies,-ToknaveslikeyouAllargumentsarevain。
TheChurchmustuseherarmofflesh,Theotherwillnotdo;
TheclergywastetheirbreathandtimeOnmiscreantslikeyou。
Youaresostubbornandsoproud,Sodullandprepossest,ThatnoinstructionscanprevailHowwellsoe\'eraddrest。
Whowouldreformsuchreprobates,Mustdrubthemsoundlyfirst;
IknownootherwaybutthatTomakethemwiseorjust。
Fie,vicar,fie,hispatronsaid,Surethatisnottheway;
YoushouldinstructyourauditorsTosufferorobey。
ThosewerethedoctrinesthatofoldThelearnedfatherstaught;
And\'twasbythemtheChurchatfirstWastoperfectionbrought。
Come,vicar,layyourfeudsaside,Andcalmlytakeyourcup;
AndletustryinfriendlywiseTomakethematterup。
That\'scertainlythewisercourse,Andbettertoobyfar;
AllmenofprudencestrivetoquenchThesparksofcivilwar。
ByfuriousheatsandilladviceOurneighboursareundone,ThenletustimelycautiontakeFromtheirdestruction。
Ifwewouldturnourheadsabout,Andlooktowardsforty-one,WesoonshouldseewhatlittlejarsThosecruelwarsbegun。
Aone-eyedcobblerthenwasoneOfthatrebelliouscrew,ThatdidinCharlesthemartyr\'sbloodTheirwickedhandsimbrue。
ImentionthisnottodefaceThiscobbler\'sreputation,WhomIhavealwayshonestfound,Andusefulinhisstation。
ButthisIurgetoletyouseeThedangerofafightBetweenacobblerandapriest,Thoughhewerene\'ersoright。
Thevicarsareanumeroustribe,Soarethecobblerstoo;
Andifageneralquarrelrise,Whatmustthecountrydo?
OuroutwardandourinwardsoalsMustquicklywantrepair;
AndalltheneighbourhoodaroundWouldthemisfortuneshare。
Sir,quoththegrazier,IbelieveOuroutwardsoalsindeedMayquicklywantthecobbler\'shelpTobefromleakingsfreed。
Butforourinwardsouls,IthinkThey\'reofaworthtoogreatTobecommittedtothecareOfanyholycheat,WhoonlyserveshisGodforgain,Religionishistrade;
And\'tisbysuchastheseourChurchSoscandalousismade。
WhyshouldItrustmysoulwithoneThatpreaches,swears,andprays,AndthenextmomentcontradictsHimselfinallhesays?
HissolemnoathshelooksuponAsonlywordsofcourse!
WhichliketheirwivesourfatherstookForbetterorforworse。
Buthetakesoathsassometakew-s,Onlytoservehisease;
Androguesandw-s,itiswellknown,Maypartwhene\'ertheyplease。
Atthisthecobblerboldergrew,Andstoutlythusreply\'d,-
Ifyou\'resogoodatdrubbing,Sir,Yourmanhoodshallbetry\'d。
WhatIhavesaidIwillmaintain,Andfurtherprovewithal-
IdailydomoregoodthanyouInmyrespectivecall。
Iknowyourcharacter,quothhe,Youproudinsultingvicar,WhoonlyhuffanddomineerAndquarrelinyourliquor。
Thehonestgentleman,whosaw\'Twouldcomeagaintoblows,Commandsthecobblertoforbear,Andtothevicargoes。
Vicar,sayshe,forshamegiveo\'erAndmitigateyourrage;
YouscandalizeyourclothtoomuchAcobblertoengage。
Allpeople\'seyesareonyourtribe,AndeverylittleillTheymultiplyandaggravateAndwillbecausetheywill。
Butnowlet\'scallanothercause,Soletthishealthgoround;
Bepeaceandplenty,truthandright,IngoodoldEnglandfound。
QuothRalph,AllthisisemptytalkAndonlytendstolaughter;
Ifthesetwovarletsshouldbespared,Who\'dpityushereafter?
Yourworshipmaydowhatyouplease,ButI\'llhavesatisfactionFordrubbingandfordamagesInthisungodlyaction。
IthinkthatyoucandonolessThansendthemtothestocks;
AndI\'llassisttheconstableInfixingintheirhocks。
Therelet\'emsitandfightitout,Orscoldtilltheyarefriends;
Or,whatisbettermuchthanboth,TillIammadeamends。
Ralph,quoththeknight,that\'swelladvised,Letthembothhithergo,Andyouandthesub-magistrateTakecarethatitbeso。
Letthembelock\'dinfacetoface,Barebuttocksontheground;
AndlettheminthatposturesitTilltheywithuscompound。
Thusfixt,wellleavethemforatime,Whilstwewithgriefrelate,HowatawakethisknightandsquireGoteachabrokenpate。
Ballad:TheGenevaBalladFromSamuelButler\'sPosthumousWorks。
OfallthefactionsinthetownMovedbyFrenchspringsorFlemishwheels,Noneturnsreligionupsidedown,Ortearspretencesoutatheels,LikeSPLAYMOUTHwithhisbraceofcaps,Whoseconsciencemightbescann\'dperhapsBythedimensionsofhischaps;
Hewhomthesistersdoadore,Countinghisactionsalldivine,Whowhenthespirithintscanroar,And,ifoccasionserves,canwhine;
Nay,hecanbellow,bray,orbark;
WaseverSIKEABEAUK-LEARN\'DclerkThatspeaksalllinguasoftheark?
Todrawthehornetsinlikebees,Withpleasingtwangshetoneshisprose;
Hegiveshishandkerchiefasqueeze,AnddrawsJohnCalvinthro\'hisnose;
Motiveonmotiveheobtrudes,Withslip-stockingsimilitudes,Eightusesmore,andsoconcludes。
Whenmonarchybegantobleed,Andtreasonhadafinenewname;
WhenThameswasbalderdash\'dwithTweed,Andpulpitsdidlikebeaconsflame;
WhenJeroboam\'scalveswererear\'d,AndLaudwasneitherlovednorfear\'d,Thisgospel-cometfirstappear\'d。
Soonhisunhallow\'dfingersstriptHissovereign-liegeofpowerandland;
And,havingsmotehismaster,sliptHisswordintohisfellow\'shand;
ButhethatwearshiseyesmaynoteOft-timesthebutcherbindsagoat,Andleaveshisboytocutherthroat。
PoorEnglandfelthisfurythenOutweigh\'dQueenMary\'smanygrains;
HisverypreachingslewmoremenThanBonnar\'sfaggots,stakes,andchains:
Withdog-starzeal,andlungslikeBoreas,Hefought,andtaught,and,what\'snotorious,Destroy\'dhisLordtomakehimglorious。
YetdrewforKingandParliament,Asifthewindcouldstandnorth-south;
BrokeMoses\'lawwithblestintent,Murther\'d,andthenhewipedhismouth:
Oblivionaltersnothiscase,NorclemencynoractsofgraceCanblanchanEthiopian\'sface。
Ripeforrebellion,hebeginsTorallyupthesaintsinswarms;
Hebawlsaloud,Sir,leaveyoursins,Butwhispers,Boys,standtoyourarms:
Thushe\'sgrowninsolentlyrude,Thinkinghisgodscan\'tbesubdued-
MONEY,Imean,andMULTITUDE。
MagistratesheregardsnomoreThanStGeorgeortheKingofColon,Vowinghe\'llnotconformbeforeTheoldwiveswindtheirdeadinwoollen:
Hecallsthebishopgray-hair\'dcoff,AndmakeshispowerasmereascoffAsDagonwhenhishandswereoff。
Hark!howheopenswithfullcry,Halloo,myhearts,bewareofRome!
CowardsthatareafraidtodieThusmakedomesticbrawlsathome。
HowquietlygreatCharlesmightreign,WouldalltheseHotspurscrossthemainAndpreachdownPoperyinSpain。
ThestarryruleofHeavenisfixt,There\'snodissensioninthesky;
Andcantherebeameanbetwixt,Confusionandconformity?
Aplacedividedneverthrives,\'Tisbadwhenhornetsdwellinhives,Butworsewhenchildrenplaywithknives。
Iwouldassoonturnbacktomass,OrchangemypraisetoTHEEandTHOU;
LetthePoperidemelikeanass,Andhispriestsmilkmelikeacow!
AsbuckletoSmectymnianlaws,Thebadeffectso\'th\'GoodoldCause,Thathavedove\'splumes,butvulture\'sclaws。
For\'twastheholyKirkthatnursed,TheBrownistsandtheranters\'crew;
Foulerror\'smotleyvesturefirstWasoaded(98)inanorthernblue;
Andwhat\'sth\'enthusiastickbreed,OrmenofKnipperdolin\'screed,ButCov\'nantersrunuptoseed!
YettheyallcrytheylovetheKing,Andmakeboastoftheirinnocence:
TherecannotbesovileathingButmaybecover\'dwithpretence;
Yetwhenall\'ssaid,onethingI\'llswear,Nosubjectliketh\'oldCavalier,NotraytorlikeJACK-PRESBYTER。
Ballad:TheDevil\'sProgressOnEarth,OrHuggleDuggleFromDurfey\'s\"PillstoPurgeMelancholy。\"
FRIERBACONwalksagain,AndDoctorFORSTER(99)too;
PROSPERINEandPLUTO,Andmanyagoblincrew:
Withthatamerrydevil,TomaketheAIRING,vow\'d;
HuggleDuggle,Ha!ha!ha!
TheDevillaugh\'daloud。
Whythinkyouthathelaugh\'d?
Forsoothhecamefromcourt;
AndthereamongstthegallantsHadspy\'dsuchprettysport;
Therewassuchcunningjugling,Andladysgonsoproud;
HuggleDuggle,etc。
WiththatintothecityAwaytheDevilwent;
Toviewthemerchants\'dealingsItwashisfullintent:
AndtherealongthebraveExchangeHecreptintothecroud。
HuggleDuggle,etc。
HewentintothecityToseealltherewaswell;
Theirscaleswerefalse,theirweightswerelight,Theirconsciencefitforhell;
AndPANDERSchosenmagistrates,AndPURITANSallow\'d。
HuggleDuggle,etc。
WiththatuntothecountryAwaytheDevilgoeth;
Forthereisallplaindealing,ForthattheDevilknoweth:
ButtherichmanreapsthegainsForwhichthepoormanplough\'d。
HuggleDuggle,etc。
WiththattheDevilinhasteTookpostawaytohell,Andcall\'dhisfellowfuries,Andtoldthemallonearthwaswell:
Thatfalsehoodtheredidflourish,Plaindealingwasinacloud。
HuggleDuggle,Ha!ha!ha!
Thedevilslaugh\'daloud。
Ballad:ABottleDefinitionOfThatFallenAngel,CalledAWhigFromacollectionofHistoricalandStatePoems,Satyrs,Songs,andEpigrams,byNedWard,A。D。1717。
WhatisaWhig?AcunningrogueThatoncewasin,nowoutofvogue:
ArebeltotheChurchandthrone,OfLucifertheveryspawn。
Atyrant,whoisne\'eratrestInpower,orwhenhe\'sdispossess\'d;
Aknave,whofoolishlyhaslostWhatsomuchbloodandtreasurecost。
Alying,bouncingdesperado,Abomb,astink-pot,agranado;
That\'sreadyprimed,andchargedtobreak,Andmischiefdoformischief\'ssake:
Acomet,whoseportendingphizAppearsmoredreadfulthanitis;
ButnowpropitiousstarsrepelThoseillsitlastlydidfortel。
\'Twillburstwithunregardedspight,And,sincetheParliamentprovesright,Willturntosmoke,whichshoneoflateSobrightandflamingintheState。
Ballad:TheDespondingWhigFromNedWard\'sWorks,vol。iv。1709。
Whenowlesarestrip\'doftheirdisguise,Andwolvesofshepherd\'scloathing,ThosebirdsandbeaststhatpleaseoureyesWillthenbegetourloathing;
WhenfoxestrembleintheirholesAtdangersthattheysee,Andthosewethinksowiseprovefools,Thenlow,boys,downgowe。
IfthosedesignsabortiveproveWe\'vebeensolonginhatching,AndcunningknavesareforcedtomoveFromhomeforfearofcatching;
TherabblesoonwillchangetheirtoneWhenourintriguestheysee,AndcryGodsavetheChurchandThrone,Thenlow,boys,downgowe。
TheweaverthennomoremustleaveHisloomandturnapreacher,NorwithhiscantpoorfoolsdeceiveTomakehimselfthericher。
OurleaderssoonwoulddisappearIfsuchachangeshouldbe,Ourscriblerstoowouldstinkforfear,Thenlow,boys,downgowe。
NocanvisarswoulddaretoshewTheirposturesandgrimaces,Orproph\'sywhattheyneverknew,Bydintofuglyfaces。
Butshovethetumblerthroughthetown,Andquicklybanish\'dbe,Fornonemustteachwithoutagown,Thenlow,boys,downgowe。
Ifsuchunhappydaysshouldcome,Ourvirtue,moderation,WouldsurelyberepaidushomeWithdoublecompensation;
Foraswenevercouldforgive,IfearwethenshouldseeThatwhatwelentwemustreceive,Thenlow,boys,downgowe。
ShouldhonestbrethrenoncediscernOurknaveries,they\'ddisownus,Andbubbl\'dfoolsmorewitshouldlearn,TheLordhavemercyonus;
Let\'sguardagainstthatevilday,Leastsuchatimeshouldbe,Andtackersshouldcomeintoplay,Thenlow,boys,downgowe。
Tho\'hithertowe\'veplay\'dourpartsLikewarycunningfoxes,Andgain\'dthecommonpeople\'sheartsBybroachinghet\'rodoxes,-
Butthey\'reasfickleasthewinds,Withnothinglongagree,Andwhentheychangetheirwav\'ringminds,Thenlow,boys,downgowe。
Let\'spreachandpray,butspitourgallOnthosethatdoopposeus,Andcantofgrace,inspiteofallTheshametheDevilowesus:
Thejust,theloyal,andthewiseWithusshallPapistsbe,ForiftheHIGHCHURCHonceshouldrise,Then,LOWCHURCH,downgowe。
Ballad:PhanatickZeal,OrALooking-glassForTheWhigsFromaCollectionof180LoyalSongs。Tune,\"ASwearingwewillgo。\"
WhowouldnotbeaToryWhentheloyalarecall\'dso:
AndaWhignowisknownTobethenation\'sfoe?
SoaToryIwillbe,willbe,AndaToryIwillbe。
Withlittlebandprecise,HairPresbyteriancut,WhigturnsuphandsandeyesThoughsmokinghotfromslut。
SoaToryIwillbe,etc。
Blackcapturn\'dupwithwhite,Withwolfishneckandface,Andmouthwithnonsensestuft,SpeaksWhigamanofgrace,AndaToryIwillbe,etc。
ThesistersgotomeetingsTomeettheirgallantsthere;
AndoftmistakeformyLord,Andsniveloutmydear。
AndaToryIwillbe,etc。
Example,wedoown,Thanpreceptbetteris;
ForCreswellshewassafe,WhenshelivedaprivateMiss。
AndaToryIwillbe,etc。
TheWhigs,thoughne\'ersoproud,Sometimeshavebeenaslow,FortherearesomeofnoteHavelongararee-show。
AndaToryIwillbe,etc。
ThesemushroomsnowhavegotTheirchampionturn-coathick;
ButifthenakedtruthwereknownThey\'reassistedbyoldNick。
AndaToryIwillbe,etc。
TobeandtobenotAtonceisintheirpower;
Forwhenthey\'rein,they\'reguilty,Butclearwhenouto\'thetower。
AndaToryIwillbe,etc。
Tocarrytheirdesigns,Though\'tcontradictstheirsense;
They\'reclearaWhiggishtraytorAgainstclearevidence。
AndaToryIwillbe,etc。
Theoldproverbdothustell,Eachdogwillhavehisday;
AndWhighashadhistoo,Forwhichhe\'llsoundlypay;
AndaToryIwillbe,etc。
ForbodkinsandforthimblesNowletyourtubsterscant;
TheirconfoundedtiredcauseHadneveryetmorewant。
SoaToryIwillbe,etc。
ForignoramusToneyHasleftyouinthelurch;
Andyouhavespentyourmoney,So,faith,e\'encometoChurch;
ForaToryIwillbe,etc。
Theyareofnoreligion,Beitspokentotheirglories,ForStPeterandStPaulWiththembothareTories;
AndaToryIwillbe,etc。
They\'reexcellentcontrivers,Iwonderwhatthey\'renot,ForsomethingtheycanmakeOfnothingandaplot。
AndaToryIwillbe,etc。
ButnowyourholycheatIsknownthroughoutthenation;
AndaWhigisknowntobeAthingquiteoutoffashion。
AndaToryIwillbe,etc。
Ballad:ANewGameAtCards:Or,WinAtFirstAndLoseAtLastApopularballad,writtenimmediatelyaftertherestorationofCharlesII。;andinwhichthevictoriousCavaliersrenderhonourtoGeneralMonk,DukeofAlbemarle。
Tune,\"Yegallantsthatdelighttoplay。\"
YemerryheartsthatlovetoplayAtcards,seewhohathwontheday;
YouthatoncedidsadlysingTheknaveofclubshathwontheking;
Nowmorehappytimeswehave,Thekinghathovercometheknave。
Notlongagoagamewasplay\'d,Whenthreecrownsatthestakeswerelaid;
Englandhadnocausetoboast,Knaveswonthatwhichkingshadlost:
Coachesgavethewaytocarts,Andclubswerebettercardsthanhearts。
OldNollwastheknaveo\'clubs,Anddadofsuchaspreachintubs;
Bradshaw,Ireton,andPrideWerethreeotherknavesbeside;
Andtheyplay\'dwithhalfthepack,Throwingoutallcardsbutblack。
ButthejustFatesthrewthesefourout,Whichmadetheloyalpartyshout;
ThePopewouldfainhavehadthestock,Andwiththesecardshavewhipthisdock。
ButsoontheDevilthesecardssnatchesTodipinbrimstone,andmakematches。
Butstillthesportfortomaintain,BoldLambert,Haslerigg,andVane,Withone-eyedHewson,tooktheirplaces,Knaveswerebettercardsthanaces;
ButFleetwoodhehimselfdidsave,Becausehewasmorefoolthanknave。
Cromwell,thoughhesomuchhadwon,Yethehadanunluckyson;
Hesitsstill,andnotregards,Whilstcunninggamesterssetthecards;
Andthus,alas!poorsillyDick,Heplay\'dawhile,andlosthistrick。
TheRumpersthathadwonwholetowns,Thespoilsofmartyrsandofcrowns,Werenotcontented,butgrewrough,Asthoughtheyhadnotwonenough;
Theykeptthecardsstillintheirhands,Toplayfortithesandcollegelands。
ThePresbytersbegantofretThattheywereliketolosethesett;
UntotheRumptheydidappeal,Andsaiditwastheirturntodeal;
ThendealtwithPresbyterians,butThearmysworethattheywouldcut。
Theforeignlandsbegantowonder,Toseewhatgallantswelivedunder,Thatthey,whichChristiansdidforswear,Shouldfollowgamingalltheyear,-
Naymore,whichwasthestrangestthing,Toplaysolongwithoutaking。
Theboldphanaticspresentwere,Likebutlerswiththeirboxesthere,NotdoubtingbutthateverygameSomeprofitwouldredoundtothem;
Becausetheywerethegamesters\'minions,Andeverydaybroach\'dnewopinions。
ButCheshiremen(asstoriessay)
Begantoshowthemgamester\'splay;
BraveBoothandallhisarmystrivesTosavethestakes,orlosetheirlives;
But,ohsadfate!theywereundoneByplayingoftheircardstoosoon。
Thusallthewhileaclubwastrump,There\'snonecouldeverbeattheRump,Untilanoblegeneralcame,Andgavethecheatersaclearslam;
Hisfingerdidoutwittheirnoddy,Andscrew\'duppoorJackLambert\'sbody。
ThenHasleriggbegantoscowl,Andsaidthegeneralplay\'dfoul。
Looktohim,partners,forItellye,ThisMonkhasgotakingin\'sbelly。
Notso,quothMonk,butIbelieveSirArthurhasaknavein\'ssleeve。
WhenGeneralMonkdidunderstandTheRumpwerepeepinginto\'shand,Hewiselykepthiscardsfromsight,WhichputtheRumpintoafright;
Hesawhowmanywerebetray\'dThatshow\'dtheircardsbeforetheyplay\'d。
Atlength,quothhe,somecardswelack,Iwillnotplaywithhalfapack;
WhatyoucastoutIwillbringin,Andanewgamewewillbegin:
Withthatthestanders-bydidsayTheyneveryetsawfairerplay。
Butpresentlythisgamewaspast,Andforasecondknaveswerecast;
Allnewcards,notstain\'dwithspots,AswastheRumpersandtheScots,-
Heregoodgamestersplay\'dtheirpartsAndturn\'dupthekingofhearts。
Afterthisgamewasdone,IthinkThestanders-byhadcausetodrink,Andallloyalsubjectssing,Farewellknaves,andwelcomeKing;
For,tillwesawtheKingreturn\'d,Wewish\'dthecardshadallbeenburn\'d。
Ballad:TheCavaleersLitany(March25th,1660。)-FromtheKing\'sPamphlets,BritishMuseum。
Frompardonswhichextendtowoods,Entitlethievestokeepourgoods,Forgiveourrentsaswellasbloods,Godbless,etc。
FromjudgeswhoawardthatnoneOfouroppressoursshouldattone(Thelossessurewerenottheirown),Godbless,etc。
FromChristianswhichcansoonforgetOurinjuries,butnotonebitOfself-concernmentwouldremit,Godbless,etc。
Fromduresse,andtheirdolefulltale,Who,famishtbyalawlesssale,Compoundeditforcakesandale,Godbless,etc。
Frompersonsstilltotreadthestage,Whodidthedrudgeriesofourage(Suchcounsellsare,Ifear,toosage),Godbless,etc。
Frommaximeswhich(tomakeallsure)
Withgreatrewardsthebadallure,\'Causeofthegoodtheyaresecure,Godbless,etc。
Fromcunninggamesters,who,theysay,Aresuretowinne,what-e\'retheyplay;
InAprilLambert,CharlesinMay,Godbless,etc。
Fromneutersandtheirleven\'dlump,WhonametheKingandmeantheRump,Orcarenotmuchwhatcardistrump,Godbless,etc。
Frommidnight-birds,wholyeatcatchSomeplumefrommonarchytosnatch,Andfromfondyouthsthatcannotwatch,Godbless,etc。
Frombrethrenwhomuststilldissent,WhosefrowardgospellbrooksnoLent,Andwhorecant,butne\'errepent,Godbless,etc。
FromLevitesvoidoftruthandshame,Whotothetimetheirpulpitsframe,Andkeepthestylebutchangethename,Godbless,etc。
Frommenbyheynouscrimesmaderich,Who(thoughtheirhopesareintheditch)
Havestillth\'oldfornicatoursitch,Godbless,etc。
Fromsuchasfreelypaidth\'arrearsOftheState-troopsformanyyears,ButgrudgeonetaxforCavaleers,Godbless,etc。
THESECONDPART。
Acrownofgoldwithoutallay,Nothereprovidedforoneday,Butframedabovetolastforaye!
Godsend,etc。
AQueentofilltheemptyplace,Andmultiplyhisnoblerace,WeeallbeseechthethroneofgraceTosend,etc。
ApeoplestillastrueandkindAslate(whenfortheirKingtheypin\'d),Notfickleasthetideorwild,Godsend,etc。
Afleetlikethatinfifty-three,Tore-assertourpoweratsea,AndmakeproudFlemingsbendtheirknee,Godsend,etc。
Fullmagazinesandcashinstore,ThatsuchaswroughthisfatebeforeMayhopetodothesamenomore,Godsend,etc。
Asearchingjudgementtodivine,OfpersonswhethertheydojoynForlove,forfear,orfordesign,Godsend,etc。
Awell-complexion\'dParliament,Thatshall(likeEnglishmen)resentWhatloyallsubjectsunderwent,Godsend,etc。
Reviewofstatuteslatelypast,Madeinsuchheat,pen\'dinsuchhast,Thatalleventswerenotforecast,Godsend,etc。
Dispatchofbusinesse,lawesupright,Andfavourwhereitstandswithright,(Betheirpursesne\'ersolight),Godsend,etc。
Araventosupplytheirneed,Whosemartyrdom(likenobleseed)
Sprungupatlengthandchoak\'ttheweed,Godsend,etc。
TheKingandkingdom\'sdebtsdefray\'d,Andthoseofhonestmenwellpay\'d,Towhichtheirvertuethembetray\'d,Godsend,etc。
IncreaseofcustomestotheKingMayourincreaseoftraffickbring,\'TisthatwillmakethepeoplesingLonglive,etc。
London,printedforRobertCrofts,attheCrown,inChanceryLane,1661。
Ballad:TheCavalier\'sComplaintThisandthefollowingballad,fromtheKing\'sPamphlets,BritishMuseum,expressthediscontentoftheCavaliersattheingratitudeofKingCharlestotheoldsupportersofthefortunesofhisfamily-(March15th,1660。)
Tothetuneof\"Itellthee,Dick。\"
Come,Jack,let\'sdrinkapotofale,AndIshalltelltheesuchataleWillmakethineearstoring;
Mycoyneisspent,mytimeislost,AndIthisonlyfruitcanboast,ThatonceIsawmyKing。
Butthisdothmostafflictmymind:
IwenttoCourtinhopetofindSomeofmyfriendsinplace;
Andwalkingthere,IhadasightOfallthecrew,but,bythislight!
Ihardlyknewoneface。
\'S\'life!ofsomanynoblesparkes,WhoontheirbodiesbearthemarkesOftheirintegritie;
Andsuffer\'druineofestate,Itwasmydamn\'dunhappyfateThatInotonecouldsee。
Notone,uponmylife,amongMyoldacquaintanceallalongAtTruroandbefore;
AndIsupposetheplacecanshowAsfewofthosewhomthoudidstknowAtYorkeorMarston-moore。
ButtrulythereareswarmesofthoseWholatelywereourchiefestfoes,Ofpantaloonsandmuffes;
WhilsttheoldrustyCavaleerRetires,ordaresnotonceappear,Forwantofcoyneandcuffes。
WhennoneoftheseIcoulddescry,Whobetterfardeserv\'dthenI,CalmelyIdidreflect;
\"Oldservices(byruleofState)
Likealmanacksgrowoutofdate,-
WhatthencanIexpect?\"
Troth!incontemptofFortune\'sfrown,I\'llgetmefairlyoutoftown,Andinacloysterpray;
ThatsincethestarresareyetunkindToRoyalists,theKingmayfindMorefaithfullfriendsthanthey。
Ballad:AnEchoToTheCavalier\'sComplaintImarvel,Dick,thathavingbeenSolongabroad,andhavingseenTheworldasthouhastdone,Thoushould\'stacquaintmeewithataleAsoldasNestor,andasstaleAsthatofPriestandNunne。(100)
ArewetolearnwhatisaCourt?
Apageantmadeforfortune\'ssport,Wheremeritsscarceappear;
ForbashfullmeritonlydwellsIncamps,invillages,andcells;
Alas!itdwellsnotthere。
Desertisniceinitsaddresse,AndmeritofttimesdothoppresseBeyondwhatguiltwoulddo;
ButtheyaresureoftheirdemandsThatcometoCourtwithgoldenhands,Andbrazenfaces,too。
TheKing,theysay,dothstillprofesseTogivehispartysomeredresse,Andcherishhonestie;
Buthisgoodwishesproveinvain,Whoseservicewithhisservants\'gainNotalwayesdothagree。
Allprinces(betheyne\'ersowise)
Arefaintoseewithothers\'eyes,Butseldomhearatall;
AndcourtiersfindtheirinterestIntimetofeatherwelltheirnest,Providingfortheirfall。
Ourcomfortdothontimedepend,Thingswhentheyareatworstwillmend;
AndletusbutreflectOnourconditionth\'otherday,Whennonebuttyrantsborethesway,Whatdidwethenexpect?
Meanwhileacalmretreatisbest,Butdiscontent(ifnotsupprest)
Willbreeddisloyaltie;
ThisistheconstantnoteIsing,IhavebeenfaithfultotheKing,Andsoshalleverbe。
London,printedforRobertCrofts,attheCrown,inChanceryLane,1661。
Ballad:ARelationOfTengrandinfamousTraytors,who,fortheirhorridmurderanddetestablevillanyagainstourlatesoveraigneLordKingCharlestheFirst,thateverblessedmartyr,werearraigned,tryed,andexecutedinthemonethofOctober,1660,whichinperpetuitywillbehadinremembranceuntotheworld\'send。
ThisisoneoftheSixBalladsoftheRestorationfoundinatrunk,andsentbySirW。C。TrevelyantotheBritishMuseum。\"NomeasurethrewmoredisgraceontheRestoration,\"saysMrWright,\"thantheprosecutionoftheregicides;andtheheartlessandsanguinarymannerinwhichitwasconductedtendedmorethananyothercircumstancetoopentheeyesofthepeopletotherealcharacterofthegovernmenttowhichtheyhadbeenbetrayed。\"Pepysobservesonthe20thOct。,\"Abloodyweekthisandthelasthavebeen;therebeingtenhanged,drawn,andquartered。\"
Thetuneis\"Comeletusdrinke,thetimeinvites。\"
Heethatcanimposeathing,AndshewforthareasonForwhatwasdoneagainsttheKing,Fromthepalacetotheprison;
Lethimherewithmerecite,FormypenisbenttowriteThehorridfactsoftreason。
SincethereisnolearnedscribeNorarithmaticionEverabletodecideTheusurp\'dbaseambition,WhichintruthIshalldeclare,Traytorsherewhichlatelywere,Whowantedaphisitian。
ForthegranddiseasethatbredNaturecouldnotweaneit;
Fromthefootuntothehead,Wasputrefactedtreasoninit;
Doctorscouldnocuregive,WhichmadethesquirethenbeleeveThathemustfirstbeginit。
Andthephisickdidcompose,Withinapoundofreason;
Firsttotakeawaythecause,Thentopurgeawaythetreason,Withadosseofhempmadeup,Wroughtasthicklyasarope,Andgiventhemindueseason。
ThedoctorsdidprescribeatlastTogive\'umthispotation,Avomitorasinglecast,Welldeserved,inpurgation;
Afterthattolaythemdowne,Andbleedaveineineveryone,Astraytorsofthenation。
Sowhenfirstthephysickewrought,ThethirteenthofOctober,(101)
Thepatientonasledgewasbrought,Likearebellandarover,Totheexecutiontree;
WherewithmuchdexterityWasgentlyturnedover。
THESECONDPART-Tothesametune。
Mondaywasthefifteenthday,AsCarewthendidfollow,(102)
OfwhomallmenIthinkemightsayIntyrannydiddeeplywallow;
TraytorproveduntotheKing,Whichmadehimonthegallowesswing,Andallthepeoplehallow。
Tuesday,afterPeters,Cooke,(103)
Twonotorioustraytors,Thatbroughtoursoveraignetotheblocke,Forwhichwerehang\'dandcutinquarters;
\'TwasCookewhichwroughtthebloodythingTodrawthechargeagainstourKing,Thateverblessedmartyr。
Next,onWednesday,fourecame,Formurthurallimputed,Theretoanswerforthesame,Whichinjudgementwereconfuted。
GregorieClement,Jones,andScot,AndScrooptogether,foraplot,(104)
Likewisewereexecuted。
Thursdaypast,andFridaythen,Toendthefullconclusion,Andmakethetraytorsjustupten,Thatdaywerebroughttoexecution,HackerandproudAxtellhe,(105)
AtTyburnefortheirtreacheryReceivedtheirabsolution。
BeingagainsttheKingandStates,TheCommonsallcondemn\'d\'um,AndtheirquartersonthegatesHangethforamemorandum\'Twixttheheavensandtheearth;
Traytorsaresolittleworth,Todustandsmoakewee\'lsend\'um。
LetnowOctoberwarningmakeTobloody-mindedtraytors,Thatneverphisickemoretheytake,Forinthismoneththeylosttheirquarters;
BeingsoagainsttheKing,Whichtomurthertheydidbring,Theeverblessedmartyr。
London,printedforFr。Coles,T。Vere,M。Wright,andW。
Gilbertson。
Ballad:TheGloryOfTheseNationsOr,Kingandpeopleshappinesse。BeingabriefrelationofKingCharles\'sroyallprogressefromDovertoLondon,howtheLordGenerallandtheLordMayor,withallthenobilityandgentryoftheland,broughthimthorowthefamouscityofLondontohispallaceatWestminster,the29thofMaylast,beinghisMajestiesbirth-day,tothegreatcomfortofhisloyallsubjects。
OneofthesixcuriousbroadsidesfoundbySirW。C。Trevelyanintheliningofatrunk,andnowintheBritishMuseum。
ThenewParliamentmetonthetwenty-fifthofApril,andonthefirstofMaytheKing\'sletterfromBredawasread,andtheRestorationdeterminedbyavoteoftheHouse。TheKingimmediatelyrepairedtothecoast,and,aftermeetingwithsomeobstructionfromtheroughnessoftheweather,wentonboardtheNAZEBYonthe23rdofMay。Onthe25thhelandedatDover。HemadehisentryintoLondononthe29th。
Tothetuneof\"WhentheKingenjoyshisownagain。\"
Where\'sthosethatdidprognosticate,AnddidenvyfairEngland\'sstate,AndsaidKingCharlesnomoreshouldreign?
Theirpredictionswerebutinvain,FortheKingisnowreturn\'d,ForwhomfairEnglandmourn\'d;
Hisnoblesroyallyhimentertain。
Nowblessedbetheday!
Thusdohissubjectssay,ThatGodhathbroughthimhomeagain。
Thetwenty-secondoflovelyMayAtDoverarrived,famedothsay,WhereourmostnoblegenerallDidonhiskneesbeforehimfall,Cravingtokisshishand,Sosoonashedidland。
Royallytheydidhimentertain,Withalltheirpow\'randmight,Tobringhimtohisright,Andplacehiminhisownagain。
ThentheKing,Iunderstand,DidkindlytakehimbythehandAndlovinglydidhimembrace,Rejoycingfortoseehisface。
HeelifthimfromthegroundWithjoythatdidabound,Andgraciouslydidhimentertain;
RejoycingthatoncemoreHewaso\'th\'Englishshore,Toenjoyhisowninpeaceagain。
FromDovertoCanterburytheypast,AndsotoCobham-hallatlast;
FromthencetoLondonmarchamain,Withatriumphantandglorioustrain,Wherehewasreceivedwithjoy,Hissorrowtodestroy,InEnglandoncemorefortoraign;
Nowallmendosing,GodsaveCharlesourKing,Thatnowenjoyeshisownagain。
AtDeptfordthemaidenstheyStoodallinwhitebythehigh-wayTheirloyaltytoCharlestoshow,Theywithsweetflowershiswaytostrew。
Eachworearibbinblew,Theywereofcomelyhue,Withjoytheydidhimentertain,WithacclamationstotheskyeAstheKingpassedby,Forjoythathereceiveshisownagain。
InWallworth-fieldsagallantbandOfLondon\'prenticesdidstand,Allinwhitedubletsverygay,ToentertainKingCharlesthatday,Withmuskets,swords,andpike;
Ineversawthelike,Noramoreyouthfullgallanttrain;
Theyuptheirhatsdidfling,Andcry,\"GodsavetheKing!
Nowheenjoyshisownagain。\"
AtNewington-ButstheLordMayorwilledAfamousboothfortobebuilded,WhereKingCharlesdidmakeastand,Andreceivedtheswordintohishand;
WhichhisMajestydidtake,AndthenreturnedbackUntotheMayorwithloveagain。
Abanquettheyhimmake,Hedoththereofpartake,Thenmarchthistriumphanttrain。
TheKingwithallhisnoblemen,ThroughSouthwarktheymarchedthen;
FirstmarchedMajorGenerallBrown,(106)
ThenNorwichEarleofgreatrenown,(107)
WithmanyavaliantknightAndgallantmenofmight,Richlyattired,marchingamain,ThereLordsMordin,Gerard,andThegoodEarleofCleavland,(108)
TobringtheKingtohisownagain。
NearsixtyflagsandstreamersthenWasbornbeforeathousandmen,Inplushcoatsandchainesofgold,Theseweremostrichfortobehold;
Witheverymanhispage,Thegloryofhisage;
Withcourageboldtheymarchtamain,ThenwithgladnessetheyBroughttheKingonhiswayFortoenjoyhisownagain。
ThenLichfieldsandDarbyesEarles,(109)
TwooffairEngland\'sroyallpearles;
MajorGenerallMasseythenCommandedthelifeguardofmen,TheKingfortodefend,Ifanyshouldcontend,Orseemhiscommingtorestrain;
ButalsojoyfullwereThatnosuchdurstappear,NowtheKingenjoyeshisownagain。
Fourrichmacesbeforethemwent,Andmanyheraldswellcontent;
TheLordMayorandthegenerallDidmarchbeforetheKingwithall。
HisbrothersoneachsideAlongbyhimdidride;
TheSouthwark-waitsdidplayamain,WhichmadethemalltosmileAndtostandstillawhile,Andthentheymarchedonagain。
Thenwithdrawnswordsallmendidside,Andflourishingthesame,thencryed,\"CharlestheSecondnowGodsave,Thathehislawfullrightmayhave!
Andweallonhimattend,Fromdangershimtodefend,Andallthatwithhimdothremain。
BlessedbeGodthatweDidlivethesedaystosee,ThattheKingenjoyeshisownagain!\"
Thebellslikewisedidloudlyring,Bonefiresdidburnandpeoplesing;
Londonconduitsdidrunwithwine,AndallmendotoCharlesincline;
HopingnowthatallUntotheirtradesmayfall,Theirfamyliesfortomaintain,Andfromwrongbefree,\'Causewehaveliv\'dtoseeTheKingenjoyhisownagain。
London,printedforCharlesTyns,onLondonBridge。
Ballad:TheNobleProgressOr,ATrueRelationOfTheLordGeneralMonk\'sPoliticalProceedings。
TheNobleProgresse,oraTrueRelationoftheLordGeneralMonk\'sPoliticalProceedingswiththeRump,thecallinginthesecludedMembers,theirtranscendantvoteforhissacredMajesty,withhisreceptionatDover,androyalconductthroughtheCityofLondontohisfamousPalaceatWhitehall。OneofthebroadsidesintheBritishMuseum,foundintheliningofanoldtrunkbySirW。C。
Trevelyan。
Tune-\"WhenfirsttheScottishwarsbegan。\"
Goodpeople,hearkentomycall,I\'letellyouallwhatdidbefallAndhapnedoflate;
OurnoblevaliantGeneralMonkCametotheRump,wholatelystunkWiththeircouncilofstate。
Admiringwhatthismanwoulddoe,Hissecretmindthere\'snonecouldknow,Theydiv\'dintohimasmuchastheycould,-
Georgewouldnotbewonwiththeirsilvernorgold:
Thesectariansaintsatthislooktblew,Withalltherestofthefactiouscrew,Theyvapour\'dawhile,andwereingoodhope,Butnowtheyhavenothingleftbuttherope。
Anotherinventionthentheysought,WhichlongtheywroughtfortobebroughtToclaspehimwiththey;
QuothVaneandScot,I\'letellyouwhat,Wee\'lhaveaplotandheshallnot,Wee\'lcarrythesway:
Let\'svotehimathousandpoundayeare,AndHamptonCourtforhimandhisHeire。
Indeed,quothGeorge,ye\'reFreeParliamentmenTocutathongoutofanotherman\'sskin。
Thesectarian,etc。
TheysenthimthenwithallhishostsTobreakourpostsandraiseourghosts,Whichwastheirintent;
TocutourgatesandchainalldowneUntotheground-thistricktheyfoundTomakehimbeshent:
ThisplottheRumpdidsoaccordTocastanodiumonmylord,Butinthetaskhewashardputuntoo\'t,\'Twasenoughtoinfectbothhishorseandhisfoot,Thesectarian,etc。
ButwhenmylordperceivedthatnightWhatwastheirspight,hebroughttolightTheirknaveriesall;
ThisParliamentofforty-eight,Whichlongdidwait,cametohimstraight,Togivethemafall,AndsomephanaticalpeopleknewThatGeorgewouldgivethemtheirfatalldue;
Indeedhedidrequitethemagen,Forhepul\'dtheMonsteroutofhisden。