第5章

HegripesmythroattothatdegreeIcan\'thistalonsbear;

Andifyoudonotholdhishands,He\'llthrottleme,Ifear。

AtthisabutcherofthetownStepsuptoRalphinire,-

What,willyousqueezehisgulletthrough,Yousonofbloodandfire?

YouaretheDevil\'sinstrumentToexecutethelaws;

What,willyoumurtherthepoormanWithyourphanatickclaws?

Atwhichthesquirequitshishold,Andluggingouthisblade,Fullatthesturdybutcher\'spateAfuriousstrokehemade。

AdismaloutcrythenbeganAmongthecountryfolk;

WhoallconcludethebutcherslainBysuchamortalstroke。

Butheregoodfortune,thathasstillAfriendshipforthebrave,I\'th\'nickmisguidesthefatalblow,Anddoesthebutchersave。

Theknight,whoheardthenoisewithin,Runsoutwithmightandmain,AndseeingRalphamidstthecrowdIndangertobeslain,WithoutregardtoageorsexOldbasket-hiltsoply\'d,ThatinaninstantthreeorfourLaybleedingathisside。

AndgreatermischiefsinhisrageThisfuriousknighthaddone,IfhehadnotpreventedbeenByDick,theblacksmith\'sson,Whocatch\'dhisworshiponthehip,Andgavehimsuchasquelch,ThathesomemomentsbreathlesslayErehewasheardtobelch。

Norwasthesquireinbettercase,Bysturdybutcherply\'d,WhofromtheshouldertotheflankHadsoundlyswingedhishide。

Whilstthingsinthisconfusionstood,Andknightandsquiredisarm\'d,UpcomesaneighbouringgentlemanTheoutcryhadalarm\'d;

Whoridingupamongthecrowd,Thevicarfirsthespy\'d,WithsleevelessgownandbloodybandAndhandsbehindhimty\'d。

Blessme,sayshe,whatmeansallthis?

Thenturningroundhiseyes,Inthesameplight,orinaworse,Thecobblerbleedingspies。

Andlookingfurtherroundhesaw,Likeoneindolefuldump,Theknight,amidstagapingmob,Sitpensiveonhisrump。

AndbyhissidelayRalphhissquire,Whombutcherfellhadmaul\'d;

Whobitterlybemoan\'dhisfate,Andforasurgeoncall\'d。

Surprisedatfirsthepausedawhile,Andthenaccoststheknight,-

Whatmakesyouhere,SirSamuel,Inthisunhappyplight?

Atthistheknightgave\'sbreastathump,Andstretchingouthishand,-

Ifyouwillpullmeup,hecried,I\'lltryifIcanstand。

AndthenI\'llletyouknowthecause;

ButfirsttakecareofRalph,WhoinmygoodorillsuccessDothalwaysstandmyhalf。

Inshort,hegothisworshipupAndledhiminthedoor;

WhereheatlengthrelatesthetaleAsIhavetoldbefore。

Whenhehadheardthestoryout,Thegentlemanreplies,-

Itisnotinmyprovince,sir,Yourworshiptoadvise。

ButwereIinyourworship\'splace,TheonlythingI\'ddo,Wasfirsttoreprimandthefools,Andthentoletthemgo。

IthinkitfirstadvisableTotakethemfromtherabble,AndletthemcomeandbothsetforthTheoccasionofthesquabble。

ThisistheVicar,Sir,ofBray,Amanofnorepute,Thescornandscandalofhistribe,Aloose,ill-manner\'dbrute。

Thecobbler\'sapoorstrollingwretchThatmendsmyservants\'shoes;

AndoftencallsashegoesbyTobringmecountrynews。

Atthishisworshipgrip\'dhisbeard,Andinanangrymood,SworebythelawsofchivalryThatbloodrequiredblood。

Besides,I\'mbytheCommonwealthEntrustedtochastiseAllknavesthatstraggleupanddownToraisesuchmutinies。

However,since\'tisyourrequest,Theyshallbecall\'dandheard;

ButneitherRalphnorIcangrantSuchrascalsshouldbeclear\'d。

Andso,towindthetaleupshort,Theywerecall\'dintogether;

Andbythegentlemenwereask\'dWhatwind\'twasblewthemthither。

GoodaleandhandsomelandladiesYoumighthavenearerhome;

Andtherefore\'tisforsomethingmoreThatyousofararecome。

Towhichthevicaranswer\'dfirst,-

Mylivingissosmall,ThatIamforcedtostrollaboutTotryandgetacall。

And,quoththecobbler,IamforcedToleavemywifeanddwelling,T\'escapethedangerofbeingpress\'dTogoacolonelling。

There\'smanyanhonestjovialladUnwarilydrawnin,ThatIhavereasontosuspectWillscarcegetoutagain。

Theproverbsays,HARMWATCHHARMCATCH,I\'lloutofdangerkeep,ForhethatsleepsinawholeskinDothmostsecurelysleep。

MybusinessistomendbadsoalsAndstitchupbrokenquarters:

Acobbler\'snamewouldlookbutoddAmongalistofmartyrs。

Faith,cobbler,quoththegentleman,Andthatshallbemycase;

Iwillneitherpartyjoin,Letwhatwillcometopass。

NoimportunitiesorthreatsMyfixtresolvesshallrest;

Comehere,SirSamuel,where\'shishealthThatlovesoldEnglandbest。

IpitythoseunhappyfoolsWho,eretheywereaware,DesigningandambitiousmenHavedrawnintoasnare。

But,vicar,tocometothecase,-

Amidstasenselesscrowd,Whaturgedyoutosuchviolence,Andmadeyoutalksoloud?

PassionI\'msuredoesillbecomeYourcharacterandcloath,And,tho\'thecausebene\'ersojust,Bringsscandaluponboth。

Vicar,Ispeakitwithregret,AninadvertentpriestRendershimselfridiculous,Andeverybody\'sjest。

ThevicartobethusrebukedAlittletimestoodmute;

Buthavinggulp\'dhispassiondown,Replies,-ThatcobblingbruteHastreatedmewithsuchcontempt,Suchvileexpressionsused,ThatInolongercouldforbearTohearmyselfabused。

TherascalhadtheinsolenceTogivehimselfthelie,Andtoaverh\'haddonemoregoodAndsavedmoresoalsthanI。

Nay,further,Sir,thismiscreantTotellmewassobold,Ourtradeswereverynearofkin,Buthiswasthemoreold。

Now,Sir,IwilltoyouappealOnsuchaprovocation,IftherewasnotsufficientcauseTousealittlepassion?

Now,quoththecobbler,withyourleave,I\'llproveittohisface,Allthisismeresuggestion,Andforeigntothecase。

AndsincehecallssomanynamesAndtalkssoveryloud,Iwillbeboundtomakeitplain\'Twashethatraisedthecrowd。

Nay,further,Iwillmake\'tappearHeandthepriestshavedoneMoremischiefthanthecobblersfarAlloverChristendom。

AllEuropegroansbeneaththeiryoke,AndpoorGreatBritainowesTothemherpresentmiseries,Anddreadoffuturewoes。

ThepriestsofallreligionsareAndwillbestillthesame,Andall,tho\'inadifferentway,Areplayingthesamegame。

Atthisthegentlemanstoodup,-

Cobbler,youruntoofast;

BythuscondemningallthetribeYougobeyondyourlast。

Muchmischiefhasbypriestsbeendone,Andmoreisdoingstill;

ButthentocensureallalikeMustbeexceedingill。

Toomany,Imustneedsconfess,Aremightilytoblame,WhobytheirwickedpracticesDisgracetheveryname。

But,cobbler,stillthemajorpartTheminorshouldconclude;

Toargueatanotherrate\'sImpertinentandrude。

BythistimealltheneighboursroundWereflock\'daboutthedoor,Andsomewereonthevicar\'sside,Butonthecobbler\'smore。

Amongtherestagrazier,whoHadlatelybeenattownTosellhisoxenandhissheep,Brim-fullofnewscamedown。

Quothhe,Thepriestshavepreach\'dandpray\'d,Andmadesodamn\'dapother,ThatallthepeoplearerunmadTomurtheroneanother。

BytheircontrivancesandartsThey\'veplay\'dtheirgamesolong,Thatnomanknowswhichsideisright,Orwhichisinthewrong。

I\'msureI\'veSmithfieldmarketusedFormorethantwentyyear,ButneverdidsuchmurmuringsAnddreadfuloutcrieshear。

Someforachurch,andsomeatub,Andsomeforbothtogether;

Andsome,perhapsthegreaterpart,Havenoregardforeither。

Someforaking,andsomefornone;

AndsomehavehankeringsTomendtheCommonwealth,andmakeAnempireofallkings。

What\'sworse,oldNollismarchingoff,AndDick,hisheir-apparent,Succeedshiminthegovernment,Averylamevicegerent。

He\'llreignbutlittletime,poorfool,ButsinkbeneaththeState,Thatwillnotfailtoridethefool\'Bovecommonhorseman\'sweight。

Andrulers,whentheylosethepower,Likehorsesoverweigh\'d,Musteitherfallandbreaktheirknees,Orelseturnperfectjade。

ThevicartobetwicerebukedNolongercouldcontain;

Butthusreplies,-ToknaveslikeyouAllargumentsarevain。

TheChurchmustuseherarmofflesh,Theotherwillnotdo;

TheclergywastetheirbreathandtimeOnmiscreantslikeyou。

Youaresostubbornandsoproud,Sodullandprepossest,ThatnoinstructionscanprevailHowwellsoe\'eraddrest。

Whowouldreformsuchreprobates,Mustdrubthemsoundlyfirst;

IknownootherwaybutthatTomakethemwiseorjust。

Fie,vicar,fie,hispatronsaid,Surethatisnottheway;

YoushouldinstructyourauditorsTosufferorobey。

ThosewerethedoctrinesthatofoldThelearnedfatherstaught;

And\'twasbythemtheChurchatfirstWastoperfectionbrought。

Come,vicar,layyourfeudsaside,Andcalmlytakeyourcup;

AndletustryinfriendlywiseTomakethematterup。

That\'scertainlythewisercourse,Andbettertoobyfar;

AllmenofprudencestrivetoquenchThesparksofcivilwar。

ByfuriousheatsandilladviceOurneighboursareundone,ThenletustimelycautiontakeFromtheirdestruction。

Ifwewouldturnourheadsabout,Andlooktowardsforty-one,WesoonshouldseewhatlittlejarsThosecruelwarsbegun。

Aone-eyedcobblerthenwasoneOfthatrebelliouscrew,ThatdidinCharlesthemartyr\'sbloodTheirwickedhandsimbrue。

ImentionthisnottodefaceThiscobbler\'sreputation,WhomIhavealwayshonestfound,Andusefulinhisstation。

ButthisIurgetoletyouseeThedangerofafightBetweenacobblerandapriest,Thoughhewerene\'ersoright。

Thevicarsareanumeroustribe,Soarethecobblerstoo;

Andifageneralquarrelrise,Whatmustthecountrydo?

OuroutwardandourinwardsoalsMustquicklywantrepair;

AndalltheneighbourhoodaroundWouldthemisfortuneshare。

Sir,quoththegrazier,IbelieveOuroutwardsoalsindeedMayquicklywantthecobbler\'shelpTobefromleakingsfreed。

Butforourinwardsouls,IthinkThey\'reofaworthtoogreatTobecommittedtothecareOfanyholycheat,WhoonlyserveshisGodforgain,Religionishistrade;

And\'tisbysuchastheseourChurchSoscandalousismade。

WhyshouldItrustmysoulwithoneThatpreaches,swears,andprays,AndthenextmomentcontradictsHimselfinallhesays?

HissolemnoathshelooksuponAsonlywordsofcourse!

WhichliketheirwivesourfatherstookForbetterorforworse。

Buthetakesoathsassometakew-s,Onlytoservehisease;

Androguesandw-s,itiswellknown,Maypartwhene\'ertheyplease。

Atthisthecobblerboldergrew,Andstoutlythusreply\'d,-

Ifyou\'resogoodatdrubbing,Sir,Yourmanhoodshallbetry\'d。

WhatIhavesaidIwillmaintain,Andfurtherprovewithal-

IdailydomoregoodthanyouInmyrespectivecall。

Iknowyourcharacter,quothhe,Youproudinsultingvicar,WhoonlyhuffanddomineerAndquarrelinyourliquor。

Thehonestgentleman,whosaw\'Twouldcomeagaintoblows,Commandsthecobblertoforbear,Andtothevicargoes。

Vicar,sayshe,forshamegiveo\'erAndmitigateyourrage;

YouscandalizeyourclothtoomuchAcobblertoengage。

Allpeople\'seyesareonyourtribe,AndeverylittleillTheymultiplyandaggravateAndwillbecausetheywill。

Butnowlet\'scallanothercause,Soletthishealthgoround;

Bepeaceandplenty,truthandright,IngoodoldEnglandfound。

QuothRalph,AllthisisemptytalkAndonlytendstolaughter;

Ifthesetwovarletsshouldbespared,Who\'dpityushereafter?

Yourworshipmaydowhatyouplease,ButI\'llhavesatisfactionFordrubbingandfordamagesInthisungodlyaction。

IthinkthatyoucandonolessThansendthemtothestocks;

AndI\'llassisttheconstableInfixingintheirhocks。

Therelet\'emsitandfightitout,Orscoldtilltheyarefriends;

Or,whatisbettermuchthanboth,TillIammadeamends。

Ralph,quoththeknight,that\'swelladvised,Letthembothhithergo,Andyouandthesub-magistrateTakecarethatitbeso。

Letthembelock\'dinfacetoface,Barebuttocksontheground;

AndlettheminthatposturesitTilltheywithuscompound。

Thusfixt,wellleavethemforatime,Whilstwewithgriefrelate,HowatawakethisknightandsquireGoteachabrokenpate。

Ballad:TheGenevaBalladFromSamuelButler\'sPosthumousWorks。

OfallthefactionsinthetownMovedbyFrenchspringsorFlemishwheels,Noneturnsreligionupsidedown,Ortearspretencesoutatheels,LikeSPLAYMOUTHwithhisbraceofcaps,Whoseconsciencemightbescann\'dperhapsBythedimensionsofhischaps;

Hewhomthesistersdoadore,Countinghisactionsalldivine,Whowhenthespirithintscanroar,And,ifoccasionserves,canwhine;

Nay,hecanbellow,bray,orbark;

WaseverSIKEABEAUK-LEARN\'DclerkThatspeaksalllinguasoftheark?

Todrawthehornetsinlikebees,Withpleasingtwangshetoneshisprose;

Hegiveshishandkerchiefasqueeze,AnddrawsJohnCalvinthro\'hisnose;

Motiveonmotiveheobtrudes,Withslip-stockingsimilitudes,Eightusesmore,andsoconcludes。

Whenmonarchybegantobleed,Andtreasonhadafinenewname;

WhenThameswasbalderdash\'dwithTweed,Andpulpitsdidlikebeaconsflame;

WhenJeroboam\'scalveswererear\'d,AndLaudwasneitherlovednorfear\'d,Thisgospel-cometfirstappear\'d。

Soonhisunhallow\'dfingersstriptHissovereign-liegeofpowerandland;

And,havingsmotehismaster,sliptHisswordintohisfellow\'shand;

ButhethatwearshiseyesmaynoteOft-timesthebutcherbindsagoat,Andleaveshisboytocutherthroat。

PoorEnglandfelthisfurythenOutweigh\'dQueenMary\'smanygrains;

HisverypreachingslewmoremenThanBonnar\'sfaggots,stakes,andchains:

Withdog-starzeal,andlungslikeBoreas,Hefought,andtaught,and,what\'snotorious,Destroy\'dhisLordtomakehimglorious。

YetdrewforKingandParliament,Asifthewindcouldstandnorth-south;

BrokeMoses\'lawwithblestintent,Murther\'d,andthenhewipedhismouth:

Oblivionaltersnothiscase,NorclemencynoractsofgraceCanblanchanEthiopian\'sface。

Ripeforrebellion,hebeginsTorallyupthesaintsinswarms;

Hebawlsaloud,Sir,leaveyoursins,Butwhispers,Boys,standtoyourarms:

Thushe\'sgrowninsolentlyrude,Thinkinghisgodscan\'tbesubdued-

MONEY,Imean,andMULTITUDE。

MagistratesheregardsnomoreThanStGeorgeortheKingofColon,Vowinghe\'llnotconformbeforeTheoldwiveswindtheirdeadinwoollen:

Hecallsthebishopgray-hair\'dcoff,AndmakeshispowerasmereascoffAsDagonwhenhishandswereoff。

Hark!howheopenswithfullcry,Halloo,myhearts,bewareofRome!

CowardsthatareafraidtodieThusmakedomesticbrawlsathome。

HowquietlygreatCharlesmightreign,WouldalltheseHotspurscrossthemainAndpreachdownPoperyinSpain。

ThestarryruleofHeavenisfixt,There\'snodissensioninthesky;

Andcantherebeameanbetwixt,Confusionandconformity?

Aplacedividedneverthrives,\'Tisbadwhenhornetsdwellinhives,Butworsewhenchildrenplaywithknives。

Iwouldassoonturnbacktomass,OrchangemypraisetoTHEEandTHOU;

LetthePoperidemelikeanass,Andhispriestsmilkmelikeacow!

AsbuckletoSmectymnianlaws,Thebadeffectso\'th\'GoodoldCause,Thathavedove\'splumes,butvulture\'sclaws。

For\'twastheholyKirkthatnursed,TheBrownistsandtheranters\'crew;

Foulerror\'smotleyvesturefirstWasoaded(98)inanorthernblue;

Andwhat\'sth\'enthusiastickbreed,OrmenofKnipperdolin\'screed,ButCov\'nantersrunuptoseed!

YettheyallcrytheylovetheKing,Andmakeboastoftheirinnocence:

TherecannotbesovileathingButmaybecover\'dwithpretence;

Yetwhenall\'ssaid,onethingI\'llswear,Nosubjectliketh\'oldCavalier,NotraytorlikeJACK-PRESBYTER。

Ballad:TheDevil\'sProgressOnEarth,OrHuggleDuggleFromDurfey\'s\"PillstoPurgeMelancholy。\"

FRIERBACONwalksagain,AndDoctorFORSTER(99)too;

PROSPERINEandPLUTO,Andmanyagoblincrew:

Withthatamerrydevil,TomaketheAIRING,vow\'d;

HuggleDuggle,Ha!ha!ha!

TheDevillaugh\'daloud。

Whythinkyouthathelaugh\'d?

Forsoothhecamefromcourt;

AndthereamongstthegallantsHadspy\'dsuchprettysport;

Therewassuchcunningjugling,Andladysgonsoproud;

HuggleDuggle,etc。

WiththatintothecityAwaytheDevilwent;

Toviewthemerchants\'dealingsItwashisfullintent:

AndtherealongthebraveExchangeHecreptintothecroud。

HuggleDuggle,etc。

HewentintothecityToseealltherewaswell;

Theirscaleswerefalse,theirweightswerelight,Theirconsciencefitforhell;

AndPANDERSchosenmagistrates,AndPURITANSallow\'d。

HuggleDuggle,etc。

WiththatuntothecountryAwaytheDevilgoeth;

Forthereisallplaindealing,ForthattheDevilknoweth:

ButtherichmanreapsthegainsForwhichthepoormanplough\'d。

HuggleDuggle,etc。

WiththattheDevilinhasteTookpostawaytohell,Andcall\'dhisfellowfuries,Andtoldthemallonearthwaswell:

Thatfalsehoodtheredidflourish,Plaindealingwasinacloud。

HuggleDuggle,Ha!ha!ha!

Thedevilslaugh\'daloud。

Ballad:ABottleDefinitionOfThatFallenAngel,CalledAWhigFromacollectionofHistoricalandStatePoems,Satyrs,Songs,andEpigrams,byNedWard,A。D。1717。

WhatisaWhig?AcunningrogueThatoncewasin,nowoutofvogue:

ArebeltotheChurchandthrone,OfLucifertheveryspawn。

Atyrant,whoisne\'eratrestInpower,orwhenhe\'sdispossess\'d;

Aknave,whofoolishlyhaslostWhatsomuchbloodandtreasurecost。

Alying,bouncingdesperado,Abomb,astink-pot,agranado;

That\'sreadyprimed,andchargedtobreak,Andmischiefdoformischief\'ssake:

Acomet,whoseportendingphizAppearsmoredreadfulthanitis;

ButnowpropitiousstarsrepelThoseillsitlastlydidfortel。

\'Twillburstwithunregardedspight,And,sincetheParliamentprovesright,Willturntosmoke,whichshoneoflateSobrightandflamingintheState。

Ballad:TheDespondingWhigFromNedWard\'sWorks,vol。iv。1709。

Whenowlesarestrip\'doftheirdisguise,Andwolvesofshepherd\'scloathing,ThosebirdsandbeaststhatpleaseoureyesWillthenbegetourloathing;

WhenfoxestrembleintheirholesAtdangersthattheysee,Andthosewethinksowiseprovefools,Thenlow,boys,downgowe。

IfthosedesignsabortiveproveWe\'vebeensolonginhatching,AndcunningknavesareforcedtomoveFromhomeforfearofcatching;

TherabblesoonwillchangetheirtoneWhenourintriguestheysee,AndcryGodsavetheChurchandThrone,Thenlow,boys,downgowe。

TheweaverthennomoremustleaveHisloomandturnapreacher,NorwithhiscantpoorfoolsdeceiveTomakehimselfthericher。

OurleaderssoonwoulddisappearIfsuchachangeshouldbe,Ourscriblerstoowouldstinkforfear,Thenlow,boys,downgowe。

NocanvisarswoulddaretoshewTheirposturesandgrimaces,Orproph\'sywhattheyneverknew,Bydintofuglyfaces。

Butshovethetumblerthroughthetown,Andquicklybanish\'dbe,Fornonemustteachwithoutagown,Thenlow,boys,downgowe。

Ifsuchunhappydaysshouldcome,Ourvirtue,moderation,WouldsurelyberepaidushomeWithdoublecompensation;

Foraswenevercouldforgive,IfearwethenshouldseeThatwhatwelentwemustreceive,Thenlow,boys,downgowe。

ShouldhonestbrethrenoncediscernOurknaveries,they\'ddisownus,Andbubbl\'dfoolsmorewitshouldlearn,TheLordhavemercyonus;

Let\'sguardagainstthatevilday,Leastsuchatimeshouldbe,Andtackersshouldcomeintoplay,Thenlow,boys,downgowe。

Tho\'hithertowe\'veplay\'dourpartsLikewarycunningfoxes,Andgain\'dthecommonpeople\'sheartsBybroachinghet\'rodoxes,-

Butthey\'reasfickleasthewinds,Withnothinglongagree,Andwhentheychangetheirwav\'ringminds,Thenlow,boys,downgowe。

Let\'spreachandpray,butspitourgallOnthosethatdoopposeus,Andcantofgrace,inspiteofallTheshametheDevilowesus:

Thejust,theloyal,andthewiseWithusshallPapistsbe,ForiftheHIGHCHURCHonceshouldrise,Then,LOWCHURCH,downgowe。

Ballad:PhanatickZeal,OrALooking-glassForTheWhigsFromaCollectionof180LoyalSongs。Tune,\"ASwearingwewillgo。\"

WhowouldnotbeaToryWhentheloyalarecall\'dso:

AndaWhignowisknownTobethenation\'sfoe?

SoaToryIwillbe,willbe,AndaToryIwillbe。

Withlittlebandprecise,HairPresbyteriancut,WhigturnsuphandsandeyesThoughsmokinghotfromslut。

SoaToryIwillbe,etc。

Blackcapturn\'dupwithwhite,Withwolfishneckandface,Andmouthwithnonsensestuft,SpeaksWhigamanofgrace,AndaToryIwillbe,etc。

ThesistersgotomeetingsTomeettheirgallantsthere;

AndoftmistakeformyLord,Andsniveloutmydear。

AndaToryIwillbe,etc。

Example,wedoown,Thanpreceptbetteris;

ForCreswellshewassafe,WhenshelivedaprivateMiss。

AndaToryIwillbe,etc。

TheWhigs,thoughne\'ersoproud,Sometimeshavebeenaslow,FortherearesomeofnoteHavelongararee-show。

AndaToryIwillbe,etc。

ThesemushroomsnowhavegotTheirchampionturn-coathick;

ButifthenakedtruthwereknownThey\'reassistedbyoldNick。

AndaToryIwillbe,etc。

TobeandtobenotAtonceisintheirpower;

Forwhenthey\'rein,they\'reguilty,Butclearwhenouto\'thetower。

AndaToryIwillbe,etc。

Tocarrytheirdesigns,Though\'tcontradictstheirsense;

They\'reclearaWhiggishtraytorAgainstclearevidence。

AndaToryIwillbe,etc。

Theoldproverbdothustell,Eachdogwillhavehisday;

AndWhighashadhistoo,Forwhichhe\'llsoundlypay;

AndaToryIwillbe,etc。

ForbodkinsandforthimblesNowletyourtubsterscant;

TheirconfoundedtiredcauseHadneveryetmorewant。

SoaToryIwillbe,etc。

ForignoramusToneyHasleftyouinthelurch;

Andyouhavespentyourmoney,So,faith,e\'encometoChurch;

ForaToryIwillbe,etc。

Theyareofnoreligion,Beitspokentotheirglories,ForStPeterandStPaulWiththembothareTories;

AndaToryIwillbe,etc。

They\'reexcellentcontrivers,Iwonderwhatthey\'renot,ForsomethingtheycanmakeOfnothingandaplot。

AndaToryIwillbe,etc。

ButnowyourholycheatIsknownthroughoutthenation;

AndaWhigisknowntobeAthingquiteoutoffashion。

AndaToryIwillbe,etc。

Ballad:ANewGameAtCards:Or,WinAtFirstAndLoseAtLastApopularballad,writtenimmediatelyaftertherestorationofCharlesII。;andinwhichthevictoriousCavaliersrenderhonourtoGeneralMonk,DukeofAlbemarle。

Tune,\"Yegallantsthatdelighttoplay。\"

YemerryheartsthatlovetoplayAtcards,seewhohathwontheday;

YouthatoncedidsadlysingTheknaveofclubshathwontheking;

Nowmorehappytimeswehave,Thekinghathovercometheknave。

Notlongagoagamewasplay\'d,Whenthreecrownsatthestakeswerelaid;

Englandhadnocausetoboast,Knaveswonthatwhichkingshadlost:

Coachesgavethewaytocarts,Andclubswerebettercardsthanhearts。

OldNollwastheknaveo\'clubs,Anddadofsuchaspreachintubs;

Bradshaw,Ireton,andPrideWerethreeotherknavesbeside;

Andtheyplay\'dwithhalfthepack,Throwingoutallcardsbutblack。

ButthejustFatesthrewthesefourout,Whichmadetheloyalpartyshout;

ThePopewouldfainhavehadthestock,Andwiththesecardshavewhipthisdock。

ButsoontheDevilthesecardssnatchesTodipinbrimstone,andmakematches。

Butstillthesportfortomaintain,BoldLambert,Haslerigg,andVane,Withone-eyedHewson,tooktheirplaces,Knaveswerebettercardsthanaces;

ButFleetwoodhehimselfdidsave,Becausehewasmorefoolthanknave。

Cromwell,thoughhesomuchhadwon,Yethehadanunluckyson;

Hesitsstill,andnotregards,Whilstcunninggamesterssetthecards;

Andthus,alas!poorsillyDick,Heplay\'dawhile,andlosthistrick。

TheRumpersthathadwonwholetowns,Thespoilsofmartyrsandofcrowns,Werenotcontented,butgrewrough,Asthoughtheyhadnotwonenough;

Theykeptthecardsstillintheirhands,Toplayfortithesandcollegelands。

ThePresbytersbegantofretThattheywereliketolosethesett;

UntotheRumptheydidappeal,Andsaiditwastheirturntodeal;

ThendealtwithPresbyterians,butThearmysworethattheywouldcut。

Theforeignlandsbegantowonder,Toseewhatgallantswelivedunder,Thatthey,whichChristiansdidforswear,Shouldfollowgamingalltheyear,-

Naymore,whichwasthestrangestthing,Toplaysolongwithoutaking。

Theboldphanaticspresentwere,Likebutlerswiththeirboxesthere,NotdoubtingbutthateverygameSomeprofitwouldredoundtothem;

Becausetheywerethegamesters\'minions,Andeverydaybroach\'dnewopinions。

ButCheshiremen(asstoriessay)

Begantoshowthemgamester\'splay;

BraveBoothandallhisarmystrivesTosavethestakes,orlosetheirlives;

But,ohsadfate!theywereundoneByplayingoftheircardstoosoon。

Thusallthewhileaclubwastrump,There\'snonecouldeverbeattheRump,Untilanoblegeneralcame,Andgavethecheatersaclearslam;

Hisfingerdidoutwittheirnoddy,Andscrew\'duppoorJackLambert\'sbody。

ThenHasleriggbegantoscowl,Andsaidthegeneralplay\'dfoul。

Looktohim,partners,forItellye,ThisMonkhasgotakingin\'sbelly。

Notso,quothMonk,butIbelieveSirArthurhasaknavein\'ssleeve。

WhenGeneralMonkdidunderstandTheRumpwerepeepinginto\'shand,Hewiselykepthiscardsfromsight,WhichputtheRumpintoafright;

Hesawhowmanywerebetray\'dThatshow\'dtheircardsbeforetheyplay\'d。

Atlength,quothhe,somecardswelack,Iwillnotplaywithhalfapack;

WhatyoucastoutIwillbringin,Andanewgamewewillbegin:

Withthatthestanders-bydidsayTheyneveryetsawfairerplay。

Butpresentlythisgamewaspast,Andforasecondknaveswerecast;

Allnewcards,notstain\'dwithspots,AswastheRumpersandtheScots,-

Heregoodgamestersplay\'dtheirpartsAndturn\'dupthekingofhearts。

Afterthisgamewasdone,IthinkThestanders-byhadcausetodrink,Andallloyalsubjectssing,Farewellknaves,andwelcomeKing;

For,tillwesawtheKingreturn\'d,Wewish\'dthecardshadallbeenburn\'d。

Ballad:TheCavaleersLitany(March25th,1660。)-FromtheKing\'sPamphlets,BritishMuseum。

Frompardonswhichextendtowoods,Entitlethievestokeepourgoods,Forgiveourrentsaswellasbloods,Godbless,etc。

FromjudgeswhoawardthatnoneOfouroppressoursshouldattone(Thelossessurewerenottheirown),Godbless,etc。

FromChristianswhichcansoonforgetOurinjuries,butnotonebitOfself-concernmentwouldremit,Godbless,etc。

Fromduresse,andtheirdolefulltale,Who,famishtbyalawlesssale,Compoundeditforcakesandale,Godbless,etc。

Frompersonsstilltotreadthestage,Whodidthedrudgeriesofourage(Suchcounsellsare,Ifear,toosage),Godbless,etc。

Frommaximeswhich(tomakeallsure)

Withgreatrewardsthebadallure,\'Causeofthegoodtheyaresecure,Godbless,etc。

Fromcunninggamesters,who,theysay,Aresuretowinne,what-e\'retheyplay;

InAprilLambert,CharlesinMay,Godbless,etc。

Fromneutersandtheirleven\'dlump,WhonametheKingandmeantheRump,Orcarenotmuchwhatcardistrump,Godbless,etc。

Frommidnight-birds,wholyeatcatchSomeplumefrommonarchytosnatch,Andfromfondyouthsthatcannotwatch,Godbless,etc。

Frombrethrenwhomuststilldissent,WhosefrowardgospellbrooksnoLent,Andwhorecant,butne\'errepent,Godbless,etc。

FromLevitesvoidoftruthandshame,Whotothetimetheirpulpitsframe,Andkeepthestylebutchangethename,Godbless,etc。

Frommenbyheynouscrimesmaderich,Who(thoughtheirhopesareintheditch)

Havestillth\'oldfornicatoursitch,Godbless,etc。

Fromsuchasfreelypaidth\'arrearsOftheState-troopsformanyyears,ButgrudgeonetaxforCavaleers,Godbless,etc。

THESECONDPART。

Acrownofgoldwithoutallay,Nothereprovidedforoneday,Butframedabovetolastforaye!

Godsend,etc。

AQueentofilltheemptyplace,Andmultiplyhisnoblerace,WeeallbeseechthethroneofgraceTosend,etc。

ApeoplestillastrueandkindAslate(whenfortheirKingtheypin\'d),Notfickleasthetideorwild,Godsend,etc。

Afleetlikethatinfifty-three,Tore-assertourpoweratsea,AndmakeproudFlemingsbendtheirknee,Godsend,etc。

Fullmagazinesandcashinstore,ThatsuchaswroughthisfatebeforeMayhopetodothesamenomore,Godsend,etc。

Asearchingjudgementtodivine,OfpersonswhethertheydojoynForlove,forfear,orfordesign,Godsend,etc。

Awell-complexion\'dParliament,Thatshall(likeEnglishmen)resentWhatloyallsubjectsunderwent,Godsend,etc。

Reviewofstatuteslatelypast,Madeinsuchheat,pen\'dinsuchhast,Thatalleventswerenotforecast,Godsend,etc。

Dispatchofbusinesse,lawesupright,Andfavourwhereitstandswithright,(Betheirpursesne\'ersolight),Godsend,etc。

Araventosupplytheirneed,Whosemartyrdom(likenobleseed)

Sprungupatlengthandchoak\'ttheweed,Godsend,etc。

TheKingandkingdom\'sdebtsdefray\'d,Andthoseofhonestmenwellpay\'d,Towhichtheirvertuethembetray\'d,Godsend,etc。

IncreaseofcustomestotheKingMayourincreaseoftraffickbring,\'TisthatwillmakethepeoplesingLonglive,etc。

London,printedforRobertCrofts,attheCrown,inChanceryLane,1661。

Ballad:TheCavalier\'sComplaintThisandthefollowingballad,fromtheKing\'sPamphlets,BritishMuseum,expressthediscontentoftheCavaliersattheingratitudeofKingCharlestotheoldsupportersofthefortunesofhisfamily-(March15th,1660。)

Tothetuneof\"Itellthee,Dick。\"

Come,Jack,let\'sdrinkapotofale,AndIshalltelltheesuchataleWillmakethineearstoring;

Mycoyneisspent,mytimeislost,AndIthisonlyfruitcanboast,ThatonceIsawmyKing。

Butthisdothmostafflictmymind:

IwenttoCourtinhopetofindSomeofmyfriendsinplace;

Andwalkingthere,IhadasightOfallthecrew,but,bythislight!

Ihardlyknewoneface。

\'S\'life!ofsomanynoblesparkes,WhoontheirbodiesbearthemarkesOftheirintegritie;

Andsuffer\'druineofestate,Itwasmydamn\'dunhappyfateThatInotonecouldsee。

Notone,uponmylife,amongMyoldacquaintanceallalongAtTruroandbefore;

AndIsupposetheplacecanshowAsfewofthosewhomthoudidstknowAtYorkeorMarston-moore。

ButtrulythereareswarmesofthoseWholatelywereourchiefestfoes,Ofpantaloonsandmuffes;

WhilsttheoldrustyCavaleerRetires,ordaresnotonceappear,Forwantofcoyneandcuffes。

WhennoneoftheseIcoulddescry,Whobetterfardeserv\'dthenI,CalmelyIdidreflect;

\"Oldservices(byruleofState)

Likealmanacksgrowoutofdate,-

WhatthencanIexpect?\"

Troth!incontemptofFortune\'sfrown,I\'llgetmefairlyoutoftown,Andinacloysterpray;

ThatsincethestarresareyetunkindToRoyalists,theKingmayfindMorefaithfullfriendsthanthey。

Ballad:AnEchoToTheCavalier\'sComplaintImarvel,Dick,thathavingbeenSolongabroad,andhavingseenTheworldasthouhastdone,Thoushould\'stacquaintmeewithataleAsoldasNestor,andasstaleAsthatofPriestandNunne。(100)

ArewetolearnwhatisaCourt?

Apageantmadeforfortune\'ssport,Wheremeritsscarceappear;

ForbashfullmeritonlydwellsIncamps,invillages,andcells;

Alas!itdwellsnotthere。

Desertisniceinitsaddresse,AndmeritofttimesdothoppresseBeyondwhatguiltwoulddo;

ButtheyaresureoftheirdemandsThatcometoCourtwithgoldenhands,Andbrazenfaces,too。

TheKing,theysay,dothstillprofesseTogivehispartysomeredresse,Andcherishhonestie;

Buthisgoodwishesproveinvain,Whoseservicewithhisservants\'gainNotalwayesdothagree。

Allprinces(betheyne\'ersowise)

Arefaintoseewithothers\'eyes,Butseldomhearatall;

AndcourtiersfindtheirinterestIntimetofeatherwelltheirnest,Providingfortheirfall。

Ourcomfortdothontimedepend,Thingswhentheyareatworstwillmend;

AndletusbutreflectOnourconditionth\'otherday,Whennonebuttyrantsborethesway,Whatdidwethenexpect?

Meanwhileacalmretreatisbest,Butdiscontent(ifnotsupprest)

Willbreeddisloyaltie;

ThisistheconstantnoteIsing,IhavebeenfaithfultotheKing,Andsoshalleverbe。

London,printedforRobertCrofts,attheCrown,inChanceryLane,1661。

Ballad:ARelationOfTengrandinfamousTraytors,who,fortheirhorridmurderanddetestablevillanyagainstourlatesoveraigneLordKingCharlestheFirst,thateverblessedmartyr,werearraigned,tryed,andexecutedinthemonethofOctober,1660,whichinperpetuitywillbehadinremembranceuntotheworld\'send。

ThisisoneoftheSixBalladsoftheRestorationfoundinatrunk,andsentbySirW。C。TrevelyantotheBritishMuseum。\"NomeasurethrewmoredisgraceontheRestoration,\"saysMrWright,\"thantheprosecutionoftheregicides;andtheheartlessandsanguinarymannerinwhichitwasconductedtendedmorethananyothercircumstancetoopentheeyesofthepeopletotherealcharacterofthegovernmenttowhichtheyhadbeenbetrayed。\"Pepysobservesonthe20thOct。,\"Abloodyweekthisandthelasthavebeen;therebeingtenhanged,drawn,andquartered。\"

Thetuneis\"Comeletusdrinke,thetimeinvites。\"

Heethatcanimposeathing,AndshewforthareasonForwhatwasdoneagainsttheKing,Fromthepalacetotheprison;

Lethimherewithmerecite,FormypenisbenttowriteThehorridfactsoftreason。

SincethereisnolearnedscribeNorarithmaticionEverabletodecideTheusurp\'dbaseambition,WhichintruthIshalldeclare,Traytorsherewhichlatelywere,Whowantedaphisitian。

ForthegranddiseasethatbredNaturecouldnotweaneit;

Fromthefootuntothehead,Wasputrefactedtreasoninit;

Doctorscouldnocuregive,WhichmadethesquirethenbeleeveThathemustfirstbeginit。

Andthephisickdidcompose,Withinapoundofreason;

Firsttotakeawaythecause,Thentopurgeawaythetreason,Withadosseofhempmadeup,Wroughtasthicklyasarope,Andgiventhemindueseason。

ThedoctorsdidprescribeatlastTogive\'umthispotation,Avomitorasinglecast,Welldeserved,inpurgation;

Afterthattolaythemdowne,Andbleedaveineineveryone,Astraytorsofthenation。

Sowhenfirstthephysickewrought,ThethirteenthofOctober,(101)

Thepatientonasledgewasbrought,Likearebellandarover,Totheexecutiontree;

WherewithmuchdexterityWasgentlyturnedover。

THESECONDPART-Tothesametune。

Mondaywasthefifteenthday,AsCarewthendidfollow,(102)

OfwhomallmenIthinkemightsayIntyrannydiddeeplywallow;

TraytorproveduntotheKing,Whichmadehimonthegallowesswing,Andallthepeoplehallow。

Tuesday,afterPeters,Cooke,(103)

Twonotorioustraytors,Thatbroughtoursoveraignetotheblocke,Forwhichwerehang\'dandcutinquarters;

\'TwasCookewhichwroughtthebloodythingTodrawthechargeagainstourKing,Thateverblessedmartyr。

Next,onWednesday,fourecame,Formurthurallimputed,Theretoanswerforthesame,Whichinjudgementwereconfuted。

GregorieClement,Jones,andScot,AndScrooptogether,foraplot,(104)

Likewisewereexecuted。

Thursdaypast,andFridaythen,Toendthefullconclusion,Andmakethetraytorsjustupten,Thatdaywerebroughttoexecution,HackerandproudAxtellhe,(105)

AtTyburnefortheirtreacheryReceivedtheirabsolution。

BeingagainsttheKingandStates,TheCommonsallcondemn\'d\'um,AndtheirquartersonthegatesHangethforamemorandum\'Twixttheheavensandtheearth;

Traytorsaresolittleworth,Todustandsmoakewee\'lsend\'um。

LetnowOctoberwarningmakeTobloody-mindedtraytors,Thatneverphisickemoretheytake,Forinthismoneththeylosttheirquarters;

BeingsoagainsttheKing,Whichtomurthertheydidbring,Theeverblessedmartyr。

London,printedforFr。Coles,T。Vere,M。Wright,andW。

Gilbertson。

Ballad:TheGloryOfTheseNationsOr,Kingandpeopleshappinesse。BeingabriefrelationofKingCharles\'sroyallprogressefromDovertoLondon,howtheLordGenerallandtheLordMayor,withallthenobilityandgentryoftheland,broughthimthorowthefamouscityofLondontohispallaceatWestminster,the29thofMaylast,beinghisMajestiesbirth-day,tothegreatcomfortofhisloyallsubjects。

OneofthesixcuriousbroadsidesfoundbySirW。C。Trevelyanintheliningofatrunk,andnowintheBritishMuseum。

ThenewParliamentmetonthetwenty-fifthofApril,andonthefirstofMaytheKing\'sletterfromBredawasread,andtheRestorationdeterminedbyavoteoftheHouse。TheKingimmediatelyrepairedtothecoast,and,aftermeetingwithsomeobstructionfromtheroughnessoftheweather,wentonboardtheNAZEBYonthe23rdofMay。Onthe25thhelandedatDover。HemadehisentryintoLondononthe29th。

Tothetuneof\"WhentheKingenjoyshisownagain。\"

Where\'sthosethatdidprognosticate,AnddidenvyfairEngland\'sstate,AndsaidKingCharlesnomoreshouldreign?

Theirpredictionswerebutinvain,FortheKingisnowreturn\'d,ForwhomfairEnglandmourn\'d;

Hisnoblesroyallyhimentertain。

Nowblessedbetheday!

Thusdohissubjectssay,ThatGodhathbroughthimhomeagain。

Thetwenty-secondoflovelyMayAtDoverarrived,famedothsay,WhereourmostnoblegenerallDidonhiskneesbeforehimfall,Cravingtokisshishand,Sosoonashedidland。

Royallytheydidhimentertain,Withalltheirpow\'randmight,Tobringhimtohisright,Andplacehiminhisownagain。

ThentheKing,Iunderstand,DidkindlytakehimbythehandAndlovinglydidhimembrace,Rejoycingfortoseehisface。

HeelifthimfromthegroundWithjoythatdidabound,Andgraciouslydidhimentertain;

RejoycingthatoncemoreHewaso\'th\'Englishshore,Toenjoyhisowninpeaceagain。

FromDovertoCanterburytheypast,AndsotoCobham-hallatlast;

FromthencetoLondonmarchamain,Withatriumphantandglorioustrain,Wherehewasreceivedwithjoy,Hissorrowtodestroy,InEnglandoncemorefortoraign;

Nowallmendosing,GodsaveCharlesourKing,Thatnowenjoyeshisownagain。

AtDeptfordthemaidenstheyStoodallinwhitebythehigh-wayTheirloyaltytoCharlestoshow,Theywithsweetflowershiswaytostrew。

Eachworearibbinblew,Theywereofcomelyhue,Withjoytheydidhimentertain,WithacclamationstotheskyeAstheKingpassedby,Forjoythathereceiveshisownagain。

InWallworth-fieldsagallantbandOfLondon\'prenticesdidstand,Allinwhitedubletsverygay,ToentertainKingCharlesthatday,Withmuskets,swords,andpike;

Ineversawthelike,Noramoreyouthfullgallanttrain;

Theyuptheirhatsdidfling,Andcry,\"GodsavetheKing!

Nowheenjoyshisownagain。\"

AtNewington-ButstheLordMayorwilledAfamousboothfortobebuilded,WhereKingCharlesdidmakeastand,Andreceivedtheswordintohishand;

WhichhisMajestydidtake,AndthenreturnedbackUntotheMayorwithloveagain。

Abanquettheyhimmake,Hedoththereofpartake,Thenmarchthistriumphanttrain。

TheKingwithallhisnoblemen,ThroughSouthwarktheymarchedthen;

FirstmarchedMajorGenerallBrown,(106)

ThenNorwichEarleofgreatrenown,(107)

WithmanyavaliantknightAndgallantmenofmight,Richlyattired,marchingamain,ThereLordsMordin,Gerard,andThegoodEarleofCleavland,(108)

TobringtheKingtohisownagain。

NearsixtyflagsandstreamersthenWasbornbeforeathousandmen,Inplushcoatsandchainesofgold,Theseweremostrichfortobehold;

Witheverymanhispage,Thegloryofhisage;

Withcourageboldtheymarchtamain,ThenwithgladnessetheyBroughttheKingonhiswayFortoenjoyhisownagain。

ThenLichfieldsandDarbyesEarles,(109)

TwooffairEngland\'sroyallpearles;

MajorGenerallMasseythenCommandedthelifeguardofmen,TheKingfortodefend,Ifanyshouldcontend,Orseemhiscommingtorestrain;

ButalsojoyfullwereThatnosuchdurstappear,NowtheKingenjoyeshisownagain。

Fourrichmacesbeforethemwent,Andmanyheraldswellcontent;

TheLordMayorandthegenerallDidmarchbeforetheKingwithall。

HisbrothersoneachsideAlongbyhimdidride;

TheSouthwark-waitsdidplayamain,WhichmadethemalltosmileAndtostandstillawhile,Andthentheymarchedonagain。

Thenwithdrawnswordsallmendidside,Andflourishingthesame,thencryed,\"CharlestheSecondnowGodsave,Thathehislawfullrightmayhave!

Andweallonhimattend,Fromdangershimtodefend,Andallthatwithhimdothremain。

BlessedbeGodthatweDidlivethesedaystosee,ThattheKingenjoyeshisownagain!\"

Thebellslikewisedidloudlyring,Bonefiresdidburnandpeoplesing;

Londonconduitsdidrunwithwine,AndallmendotoCharlesincline;

HopingnowthatallUntotheirtradesmayfall,Theirfamyliesfortomaintain,Andfromwrongbefree,\'Causewehaveliv\'dtoseeTheKingenjoyhisownagain。

London,printedforCharlesTyns,onLondonBridge。

Ballad:TheNobleProgressOr,ATrueRelationOfTheLordGeneralMonk\'sPoliticalProceedings。

TheNobleProgresse,oraTrueRelationoftheLordGeneralMonk\'sPoliticalProceedingswiththeRump,thecallinginthesecludedMembers,theirtranscendantvoteforhissacredMajesty,withhisreceptionatDover,androyalconductthroughtheCityofLondontohisfamousPalaceatWhitehall。OneofthebroadsidesintheBritishMuseum,foundintheliningofanoldtrunkbySirW。C。

Trevelyan。

Tune-\"WhenfirsttheScottishwarsbegan。\"

Goodpeople,hearkentomycall,I\'letellyouallwhatdidbefallAndhapnedoflate;

OurnoblevaliantGeneralMonkCametotheRump,wholatelystunkWiththeircouncilofstate。

Admiringwhatthismanwoulddoe,Hissecretmindthere\'snonecouldknow,Theydiv\'dintohimasmuchastheycould,-

Georgewouldnotbewonwiththeirsilvernorgold:

Thesectariansaintsatthislooktblew,Withalltherestofthefactiouscrew,Theyvapour\'dawhile,andwereingoodhope,Butnowtheyhavenothingleftbuttherope。

Anotherinventionthentheysought,WhichlongtheywroughtfortobebroughtToclaspehimwiththey;

QuothVaneandScot,I\'letellyouwhat,Wee\'lhaveaplotandheshallnot,Wee\'lcarrythesway:

Let\'svotehimathousandpoundayeare,AndHamptonCourtforhimandhisHeire。

Indeed,quothGeorge,ye\'reFreeParliamentmenTocutathongoutofanotherman\'sskin。

Thesectarian,etc。

TheysenthimthenwithallhishostsTobreakourpostsandraiseourghosts,Whichwastheirintent;

TocutourgatesandchainalldowneUntotheground-thistricktheyfoundTomakehimbeshent:

ThisplottheRumpdidsoaccordTocastanodiumonmylord,Butinthetaskhewashardputuntoo\'t,\'Twasenoughtoinfectbothhishorseandhisfoot,Thesectarian,etc。

ButwhenmylordperceivedthatnightWhatwastheirspight,hebroughttolightTheirknaveriesall;

ThisParliamentofforty-eight,Whichlongdidwait,cametohimstraight,Togivethemafall,AndsomephanaticalpeopleknewThatGeorgewouldgivethemtheirfatalldue;

Indeedhedidrequitethemagen,Forhepul\'dtheMonsteroutofhisden。