ANTIPHOLUSOFSYRACUSEIprayyou，sir，receivethemoneynow，Forfearyoune’erseechainnormoneymore。ANGELOYouareamerryman，sir：fareyouwell。
ExitANTIPHOLUSOFSYRACUSEWhatIshouldthinkofthis，Icannottell：
ButthisIthink，there’snomanissovainThatwouldrefusesofairanoffer’dchain。
Iseeamanhereneedsnotlivebyshifts，Wheninthestreetshemeetssuchgoldengifts。
I’lltothemart，andthereforDromiostayIfanyshipputout，thenstraightaway。
ExitACTIVSCENEI。Apublicplace。EnterSecondMerchant，ANGELO，andanOfficerSecondMerchantYouknowsincePentecostthesumisdue，AndsinceIhavenotmuchimportunedyou；
NornowIhadnot，butthatIamboundToPersia，andwantguildersformyvoyage：
Thereforemakepresentsatisfaction，OrI’llattachyoubythisofficer。ANGELOEvenjustthesumthatIdoowetoyouIsgrowingtomebyAntipholus，AndintheinstantthatImetwithyouHehadofmeachain：atfiveo’clockIshallreceivethemoneyforthesame。
Pleasethyouwalkwithmedowntohishouse，Iwilldischargemybondandthankyoutoo。
EnterANTIPHOLUSofEphesusandDROMIOofEphesusfromthecourtezan’sOfficerThatlabourmayyousave：seewherehecomes。
ANTIPHOLUSOFEPHESUSWhileIgotothegoldsmith’shouse，gothouAndbuyarope’send：thatwillIbestowAmongmywifeandherconfederates，Forlockingmeoutofmydoorsbyday。
But，soft！Iseethegoldsmith。Gettheegone；
Buythouaropeandbringithometome。DROMIOOFEPHESUSIbuyathousandpoundayear：Ibuyarope。
ExitANTIPHOLUSOFEPHESUSAmaniswellholpupthattruststoyou：
Ipromisedyourpresenceandthechain；
Butneitherchainnorgoldsmithcametome。
Belikeyouthoughtourlovewouldlasttoolong，Ifitwerechain’dtogether，andthereforecamenot。ANGELOSavingyourmerryhumour，here’sthenoteHowmuchyourchainweighstotheutmostcarat，Thefinenessofthegoldandchargefulfashion。
WhichdothamounttothreeoddducatsmoreThanIstanddebtedtothisgentleman：
Iprayyou，seehimpresentlydischarged，Forheisboundtoseaandstaysbutforit。
ANTIPHOLUSOFEPHESUSIamnotfurnish’dwiththepresentmoney；
Besides，Ihavesomebusinessinthetown。
Goodsignior，takethestrangertomyhouseAndwithyoutakethechainandbidmywifeDisbursethesumonthereceiptthereof：
PerchanceIwillbethereassoonasyou。ANGELOThenyouwillbringthechaintoheryourself？
ANTIPHOLUSOFEPHESUSNo；bearitwithyou，lestIcomenottimeenough。ANGELOWell，sir，Iwill。Haveyouthechainaboutyou？
ANTIPHOLUSOFEPHESUSAnifIhavenot，sir，Ihopeyouhave；
Orelseyoumayreturnwithoutyourmoney。ANGELONay，come，Iprayyou，sir，givemethechain：
Bothwindandtidestaysforthisgentleman，AndI，toblame，haveheldhimheretoolong。
ANTIPHOLUSOFEPHESUSGoodLord！youusethisdalliancetoexcuseYourbreachofpromisetothePorpentine。
Ishouldhavechidyoufornotbringingit，But，likeashrew，youfirstbegintobrawl。SecondMerchantThehourstealson；Iprayyou，sir，dispatch。ANGELOYouhearhowheimportunesme；——thechain！
ANTIPHOLUSOFEPHESUSWhy，giveittomywifeandfetchyourmoney。ANGELOCome，come，youknowIgaveityouevennow。
Eithersendthechainorsendmebysometoken。
ANTIPHOLUSOFEPHESUSFie，nowyourunthishumouroutofbreath，where’sthechain？Iprayyou，letmeseeit。SecondMerchantMybusinesscannotbrookthisdalliance。
Goodsir，saywhetheryou’llanswermeorno：
Ifnot，I’llleavehimtotheofficer。
ANTIPHOLUSOFEPHESUSIansweryou！whatshouldIansweryou？ANGELOThemoneythatyouowemeforthechain。
ANTIPHOLUSOFEPHESUSIoweyounonetillIreceivethechain。ANGELOYouknowIgaveityouhalfanhoursince。
ANTIPHOLUSOFEPHESUSYougavemenone：youwrongmemuchtosayso。ANGELOYouwrongmemore，sir，indenyingit：
Considerhowitstandsuponmycredit。SecondMerchantWell，officer，arresthimatmysuit。OfficerIdo；andchargeyouintheduke’snametoobeyme。ANGELOThistouchesmeinreputation。
EitherconsenttopaythissumformeOrIattachyoubythisofficer。
ANTIPHOLUSOFEPHESUSConsenttopaytheethatIneverhad！
Arrestme，foolishfellow，ifthoudarest。ANGELOHereisthyfee；arresthim，officer，Iwouldnotsparemybrotherinthiscase，Ifheshouldscornmesoapparently。OfficerIdoarrestyou，sir：youhearthesuit。
ANTIPHOLUSOFEPHESUSIdoobeytheetillIgivetheebail。
But，sirrah，youshallbuythissportasdearAsallthemetalinyourshopwillanswer。ANGELOSir，sir，IwillhavelawinEphesus，Toyournotoriousshame；Idoubtitnot。
EnterDROMIOofSyracuse，fromthebayDROMIOOFSYRACUSEMaster，thereisabarkofEpidamnumThatstaysbuttillherownercomesaboard，Andthen，sir，shebearsaway。Ourfraughtage，sir，Ihaveconvey’daboard；andIhaveboughtTheoil，thebalsamumandaqua-vitae。
Theshipisinhertrim；themerrywindBlowsfairfromland：theystayfornoughtatallButfortheirowner，master，andyourself。
ANTIPHOLUSOFEPHESUSHownow！amadman！Why，thoupeevishsheep，WhatshipofEpidamnumstaysforme？DROMIOOFSYRACUSEAshipyousentmeto，tohirewaftage。
ANTIPHOLUSOFEPHESUSThoudrunkenslave，Isenttheeforarope；
Andtoldtheetowhatpurposeandwhatend。DROMIOOFSYRACUSEYousentmeforarope’sendassoon：
Yousentmetothebay，sir，forabark。
ANTIPHOLUSOFEPHESUSIwilldebatethismatteratmoreleisureAndteachyourearstolistmewithmoreheed。
ToAdriana，villain，hietheestraight：
Giveherthiskey，andtellher，inthedeskThat’scover’do’erwithTurkishtapestry，Thereisapurseofducats；lethersendit：
TellherIamarrestedinthestreetAndthatshallbailme；hiethee，slave，begone！
On，officer，toprisontillitcome。
ExeuntSecondMerchant，Angelo，Officer，andAntipholusofEphesusDROMIOOFSYRACUSEToAdriana！thatiswherewedined，WhereDowsabeldidclaimmeforherhusband：
Sheistoobig，Ihope，formetocompass。
ThitherImust，althoughagainstmywill，Forservantsmusttheirmasters’mindsfulfil。
ExitSCENEII。ThehouseofANTIPHOLUSofEphesus。EnterADRIANAandLUCIANAADRIANAAh，Luciana，didhetempttheeso？
MightstthouperceiveausterelyinhiseyeThathedidpleadinearnest？yeaorno？
Look’dheorredorpale，orsadormerrily？
WhatobservationmadestthouinthiscaseOfhisheart’smeteorstiltinginhisface？LUCIANAFirsthedeniedyouhadinhimnoright。ADRIANAHemeanthedidmenone；themoremyspite。LUCIANAThensworehethathewasastrangerhere。ADRIANAAndtrueheswore，thoughyetforswornhewere。LUCIANAThenpleadedIforyou。ADRIANAAndwhatsaidhe？LUCIANAThatloveIbegg’dforyouhebegg’dofme。ADRIANAWithwhatpersuasiondidhetemptthylove？LUCIANAWithwordsthatinanhonestsuitmightmove。
Firsthedidpraisemybeauty，thenmyspeech。ADRIANADidstspeakhimfair？LUCIANAHavepatience，Ibeseech。ADRIANAIcannot，norIwillnot，holdmestill；
Mytongue，thoughnotmyheart，shallhavehiswill。
Heisdeformed，crooked，oldandsere，Ill-faced，worsebodied，shapelesseverywhere；
Vicious，ungentle，foolish，blunt，unkind；
Stigmaticalinmaking，worseinmind。LUCIANAWhowouldbejealousthenofsuchaone？
Noevillostiswail’dwhenitisgone。ADRIANAAh，butIthinkhimbetterthanIsay，Andyetwouldhereinothers’eyeswereworse。
Farfromhernestthelapwingcriesaway：
Myheartpraysforhim，thoughmytonguedocurse。
EnterDROMIOofSyracuseDROMIOOFSYRACUSEHere！go；thedesk，thepurse！sweet，now，makehaste。LUCIANAHowhastthoulostthybreath？DROMIOOFSYRACUSEByrunningfast。ADRIANAWhereisthymaster，Dromio？ishewell？DROMIOOFSYRACUSENo，he’sinTartarlimbo，worsethanhell。
Adevilinaneverlastinggarmenthathhim；
Onewhosehardheartisbutton’dupwithsteel；
Afiend，afury，pitilessandrough；
Awolf，nay，worse，afellowallinbuff；
Aback-friend，ashoulder-clapper，onethatcountermandsThepassagesofalleys，creeksandnarrowlands；
Ahoundthatrunscounterandyetdrawsdryfootwell；
Onethatbeforethejudgementcarriespoorsoulstohell。ADRIANAWhy，man，whatisthematter？DROMIOOFSYRACUSEIdonotknowthematter：heis’restedonthecase。ADRIANAWhat，ishearrested？Tellmeatwhosesuit。DROMIOOFSYRACUSEIknownotatwhosesuitheisarrestedwell；
Buthe’sinasuitofbuffwhich’restedhim，thatcanItell。
Willyousendhim，mistress，redemption，themoneyinhisdesk？ADRIANAGofetchit，sister。
ExitLucianaThisIwonderat，Thathe，unknowntome，shouldbeindebt。
Tellme，washearrestedonaband？DROMIOOFSYRACUSENotonaband，butonastrongerthing；
Achain，achain！Doyounothearitring？ADRIANAWhat，thechain？DROMIOOFSYRACUSENo，no，thebell：’tistimethatIweregone：
ItwastwoereIlefthim，andnowtheclockstrikesone。ADRIANAThehourscomeback！thatdidIneverhear。DROMIOOFSYRACUSEO，yes；ifanyhourmeetasergeant，a’
turnsbackforveryfear。ADRIANAAsifTimewereindebt！howfondlydostthoureason！DROMIOOFSYRACUSETimeisaverybankrupt，andowesmorethanhe’sworth，toseason。
Nay，he’sathieftoo：haveyounotheardmensayThatTimecomesstealingonbynightandday？
IfTimebeindebtandtheft，andasergeantintheway，Hathhenotreasontoturnbackanhourinaday？
Re-enterLUCIANAwithapurseADRIANAGo，Dromio；there’sthemoney，bearitstraight；
Andbringthymasterhomeimmediately。
Come，sister：Iampress’ddownwithconceit——
Conceit，mycomfortandmyinjury。
ExeuntSCENEIII。Apublicplace。EnterANTIPHOLUSofSyracuseANTIPHOLUSOFSYRACUSEThere’snotamanImeetbutdothsalutemeAsifIweretheirwell-acquaintedfriend；
Andeveryonedothcallmebymyname。
Sometendermoneytome；someinviteme；
Someothergivemethanksforkindnesses；
Someoffermecommoditiestobuy：
Evennowatailorcall’dmeinhisshopAndshow’dmesilksthathehadboughtforme，Andtherewithaltookmeasureofmybody。
Sure，thesearebutimaginarywilesAndLaplandsorcerersinhabithere。
EnterDROMIOOFSYRACUSEDROMIOOFSYRACUSEMaster，here’sthegoldyousentmefor。
What，haveyougotthepictureofoldAdamnew-apparelled？
ANTIPHOLUSOFSYRACUSEWhatgoldisthis？whatAdamdostthoumean？DROMIOOFSYRACUSENotthatAdamthatkepttheParadisebutthatAdamthatkeepstheprison：hethatgoesinthecalf’sskinthatwaskilledfortheProdigal；hethatcamebehindyou，sir，likeanevilangel，andbidyouforsakeyourliberty。
ANTIPHOLUSOFSYRACUSEIunderstandtheenot。DROMIOOFSYRACUSENo？why，’tisaplaincase：hethatwent，likeabass-viol，inacaseofleather；theman，sir，that，whengentlemenaretired，givesthemasoband’reststhem；he，sir，thattakespityondecayedmenandgivesthemsuitsofdurance；hethatsetsuphisresttodomoreexploitswithhismacethanamorris-pike。
ANTIPHOLUSOFSYRACUSEWhat，thoumeanestanofficer？DROMIOOFSYRACUSEAy，sir，thesergeantoftheband，hethatbringsanymantoansweritthatbreakshisband；onethatthinksamanalwaysgoingtobed，andsays，’Godgiveyougoodrest！’
ANTIPHOLUSOFSYRACUSEWell，sir，thererestinyourfoolery。
IsthereanyDROMIOOFSYRACUSEWhy，sir，IbroughtyouwordanhoursincethatthebarkExpeditionputforthto-night；andthenwereyouhinderedbythesergeant，totarryforthehoyDelay。Herearetheangelsthatyousentfortodeliveryou。
ANTIPHOLUSOFSYRACUSEThefellowisdistract，andsoamI；
Andherewewanderinillusions：
Someblessedpowerdeliverusfromhence！
EnteraCourtezanCourtezanWellmet，wellmet，MasterAntipholus。
Isee，sir，youhavefoundthegoldsmithnow：
Isthatthechainyoupromisedmeto-day？
ANTIPHOLUSOFSYRACUSESatan，avoid！Ichargethee，temptmenot。DROMIOOFSYRACUSEMaster，isthisMistressSatan？
ANTIPHOLUSOFSYRACUSEItisthedevil。DROMIOOFSYRACUSENay，sheisworse，sheisthedevil’sdam；andhereshecomesinthehabitofalightwench：andthereofcomesthatthewenchessay’Goddamnme；’that’sasmuchtosay’Godmakemealightwench。’Itiswritten，theyappeartomenlikeangelsoflight：
lightisaneffectoffire，andfirewillburn；
ergo，lightwencheswillburn。Comenotnearher。CourtezanYourmanandyouaremarvellousmerry，sir。
Willyougowithme？We’llmendourdinnerhere？DROMIOOFSYRACUSEMaster，ifyoudo，expectspoon-meat；
orbespeakalongspoon。
ANTIPHOLUSOFSYRACUSEWhy，Dromio？DROMIOOFSYRACUSEMarry，hemusthavealongspoonthatmusteatwiththedevil。
ANTIPHOLUSOFSYRACUSEAvoidthen，fiend！whattell’stthoumeofsupping？
Thouart，asyouareall，asorceress：
Iconjuretheetoleavemeandbegone。CourtezanGivemetheringofmineyouhadatdinner，Or，formydiamond，thechainyoupromised，AndI’llbegone，sir，andnottroubleyou。DROMIOOFSYRACUSESomedevilsaskbuttheparingsofone’snail，Arush，ahair，adropofblood，apin，Anut，acherry-stone；
Butshe，morecovetous，wouldhaveachain。
Master，bewise：anifyougiveither，Thedevilwillshakeherchainandfrightuswithit。CourtezanIprayyou，sir，myring，orelsethechain：
Ihopeyoudonotmeantocheatmeso。
ANTIPHOLUSOFSYRACUSEAvaunt，thouwitch！Come，Dromio，letusgo。DROMIOOFSYRACUSE’Flypride，’saysthepeacock：mistress，thatyouknow。
ExeuntAntipholusofSyracuseandDromioofSyracuseCourtezanNow，outofdoubtAntipholusismad，Elsewouldheneversodemeanhimself。
Aringhehathofmineworthfortyducats，Andforthesamehepromisedmeachain：
Bothoneandotherhedeniesmenow。
ThereasonthatIgatherheismad，Besidesthispresentinstanceofhisrage，Isamadtalehetoldto-dayatdinner，Ofhisowndoorsbeingshutagainsthisentrance。
Belikehiswife，acquaintedwithhisfits，Onpurposeshutthedoorsagainsthisway。
Mywayisnowtohiehometohishouse，Andtellhiswifethat，beinglunatic，Herush’dintomyhouseandtookperforceMyringaway。ThiscourseIfittestchoose；
Forfortyducatsistoomuchtolose。
ExitSCENEIV。Astreet。EnterANTIPHOLUSofEphesusandtheOfficerANTIPHOLUSOFEPHESUSFearmenot，man；Iwillnotbreakaway：
I’llgivethee，ereIleavethee，somuchmoney，Towarrantthee，asIam’restedfor。
Mywifeisinawaywardmoodto-day，AndwillnotlightlytrustthemessengerThatIshouldbeattach’dinEphesus，Itellyou，’twillsoundharshlyinherears。
EnterDROMIOofEphesuswitharope’s-endHerecomesmyman；Ithinkhebringsthemoney。
Hownow，sir！haveyouthatIsentyoufor？DROMIOOFEPHESUSHere’sthat，Iwarrantyou，willpaythemall。
ANTIPHOLUSOFEPHESUSButwhere’sthemoney？DROMIOOFEPHESUSWhy，sir，Igavethemoneyfortherope。
ANTIPHOLUSOFEPHESUSFivehundredducats，villain，forarope？DROMIOOFEPHESUSI’llserveyou，sir，fivehundredattherate。
ANTIPHOLUSOFEPHESUSTowhatenddidIbidtheehietheehome？DROMIOOFEPHESUSToarope’s-end，sir；andtothatendamIreturned。
ANTIPHOLUSOFEPHESUSAndtothatend，sir，Iwillwelcomeyou。
BeatinghimOfficerGoodsir，bepatient。DROMIOOFEPHESUSNay，’tisformetobepatient；Iaminadversity。OfficerGood，now，holdthytongue。DROMIOOFEPHESUSNay，ratherpersuadehimtoholdhishands。
ANTIPHOLUSOFEPHESUSThouwhoreson，senselessvillain！DROMIOOFEPHESUSIwouldIweresenseless，sir，thatI
mightnotfeelyourblows。ANTIPHOLUSThouartsensibleinnothingbutblows，andsoisanass。DROMIOOFEPHESUSIamanass，indeed；youmayproveitbymylongears。Ihaveservedhimfromthehourofmynativitytothisinstant，andhavenothingathishandsformyservicebutblows。WhenIamcold，heheatsmewithbeating；whenIamwarm，hecoolsmewithbeating；IamwakedwithitwhenIsleep；
raisedwithitwhenIsit；drivenoutofdoorswithitwhenIgofromhome；welcomedhomewithitwhenIreturn；nay，Ibearitonmyshoulders，asabeggarwontherbrat；and，Ithinkwhenhehathlamedme，Ishallbegwithitfromdoortodoor。
ANTIPHOLUSOFEPHESUSCome，goalong；mywifeiscomingyonder。
EnterADRIANA，LUCIANA，theCourtezan，andPINCHDROMIOOFEPHESUSMistress，’respicefinem，’respectyourend；orrather，theprophecyliketheparrot，’bewaretherope’s-end。’
ANTIPHOLUSOFEPHESUSWiltthoustilltalk？
BeatinghimCourtezanHowsayyounow？isnotyourhusbandmad？ADRIANAHisincivilityconfirmsnoless。
GoodDoctorPinch，youareaconjurer；
Establishhiminhistruesenseagain，AndIwillpleaseyouwhatyouwilldemand。LUCIANAAlas，howfieryandhowsharphelooks！CourtezanMarkhowhetremblesinhisecstasy！PINCHGivemeyourhandandletmefeelyourpulse。
ANTIPHOLUSOFEPHESUSThereismyhand，andletitfeelyourear。
StrikinghimPINCHIchargethee，Satan，housedwithinthisman，ToyieldpossessiontomyholyprayersAndtothystateofdarknesshietheestraight：
Iconjuretheebyallthesaintsinheaven！
ANTIPHOLUSOFEPHESUSPeace，dotingwizard，peace！Iamnotmad。ADRIANAO，thatthouwertnot，poordistressedsoul！
ANTIPHOLUSOFEPHESUSYouminion，you，aretheseyourcustomers？
DidthiscompanionwiththesaffronfaceRevelandfeastitatmyhouseto-day，WhilstuponmetheguiltydoorswereshutAndIdeniedtoenterinmyhouse？ADRIANAOhusband，Goddothknowyoudinedathome；
Wherewouldyouhadremain’duntilthistime，Freefromtheseslandersandthisopenshame！
ANTIPHOLUSOFEPHESUSDinedathome！Thouvillain，whatsayestthou？DROMIOOFEPHESUSSir，soothtosay，youdidnotdineathome。
ANTIPHOLUSOFEPHESUSWerenotmydoorslock’dupandIshutout？DROMIOOFEPHESUSPerdie，yourdoorswerelock’dandyoushutout。
ANTIPHOLUSOFEPHESUSAnddidnotsheherselfrevilemethere？DROMIOOFEPHESUSSansfable，sheherselfreviledyouthere。
ANTIPHOLUSOFEPHESUSDidnotherkitchen-maidrail，taunt，andscornme？DROMIOOFEPHESUSCertes，shedid；thekitchen-vestalscorn’dyou。
ANTIPHOLUSOFEPHESUSAnddidnotIinragedepartfromthence？DROMIOOFEPHESUSInverityyoudid；mybonesbearwitness，Thatsincehavefeltthevigourofhisrage。ADRIANAIs’tgoodtosoothehiminthesecontraries？PINCHItisnoshame：thefellowfindshisvein，Andyieldingtohimhumourswellhisfrenzy。
ANTIPHOLUSOFEPHESUSThouhastsuborn’dthegoldsmithtoarrestme。ADRIANAAlas，Isentyoumoneytoredeemyou，ByDromiohere，whocameinhasteforit。DROMIOOFEPHESUSMoneybyme！heartandgoodwillyoumight；
Butsurelymaster，notaragofmoney。
ANTIPHOLUSOFEPHESUSWent’stnotthoutoherforapurseofducats？ADRIANAHecametomeandIdeliver’dit。LUCIANAAndIamwitnesswithherthatshedid。DROMIOOFEPHESUSGodandtherope-makerbearmewitnessThatIwassentfornothingbutarope！PINCHMistress，bothmanandmasterispossess’d；
Iknowitbytheirpaleanddeadlylooks：
Theymustbeboundandlaidinsomedarkroom。
ANTIPHOLUSOFEPHESUSSay，whereforedidstthoulockmeforthto-day？
Andwhydostthoudenythebagofgold？ADRIANAIdidnot，gentlehusband，locktheeforth。DROMIOOFEPHESUSAnd，gentlemaster，Ireceivednogold；
ButIconfess，sir，thatwewerelock’dout。ADRIANADissemblingvillain，thouspeak’stfalseinboth。
ANTIPHOLUSOFEPHESUSDissemblingharlot，thouartfalseinall；
AndartconfederatewithadamnedpackTomakealoathsomeabjectscornofme：
ButwiththesenailsI’llpluckoutthesefalseeyesThatwouldbeholdinmethisshamefulsport。
Enterthreeorfour，andoffertobindhim。HestrivesADRIANAO，bindhim，bindhim！lethimnotcomenearme。PINCHMorecompany！Thefiendisstrongwithinhim。LUCIANAAyme，poorman，howpaleandwanhelooks！
ANTIPHOLUSOFEPHESUSWhat，willyoumurderme？Thougaoler，thou，Iamthyprisoner：wiltthousufferthemTomakearescue？OfficerMasters，lethimgoHeismyprisoner，andyoushallnothavehim。PINCHGobindthisman，forheisfrantictoo。
TheyoffertobindDromioofEphesusADRIANAWhatwiltthoudo，thoupeevishofficer？
HastthoudelighttoseeawretchedmanDooutrageanddispleasuretohimself？OfficerHeismyprisoner：ifIlethimgo，Thedebtheoweswillberequiredofme。ADRIANAIwilldischargetheeereIgofromthee：
Bearmeforthwithuntohiscreditor，And，knowinghowthedebtgrows，Iwillpayit。
Goodmasterdoctor，seehimsafeconvey’dHometomyhouse。Omostunhappyday！
ANTIPHOLUSOFEPHESUSOmostunhappystrumpet！DROMIOOFEPHESUSMaster，Iamhereenteredinbondforyou。
ANTIPHOLUSOFEPHESUSOutonthee，villain！whereforedostthoumadme？DROMIOOFEPHESUSWillyoubeboundfornothing？bemad，goodmaster：
cry’Thedevil！’LUCIANAGodhelp，poorsouls，howidlydotheytalk！ADRIANAGobearhimhence。Sister，goyouwithme。
ExeuntallbutAdriana，Luciana，OfficerandCourtezanSaynow，whosesuitishearrestedat？OfficerOneAngelo，agoldsmith：doyouknowhim？ADRIANAIknowtheman。Whatisthesumheowes？OfficerTwohundredducats。ADRIANASay，howgrowsitdue？OfficerDueforachainyourhusbandhadofhim。ADRIANAHedidbespeakachainforme，buthaditnot。CourtezanWhenasyourhusbandallinrageto-dayCametomyhouseandtookawaymyring——
TheringIsawuponhisfingernow——
StraightafterdidImeethimwithachain。ADRIANAItmaybeso，butIdidneverseeit。
Come，gaoler，bringmewherethegoldsmithis：
Ilongtoknowthetruthhereofatlarge。
EnterANTIPHOLUSofSyracusewithhisrapierdrawn，andDROMIOofSyracuseLUCIANAGod，forthymercy！theyarelooseagain。ADRIANAAndcomewithnakedswords。
Let’scallmorehelptohavethemboundagain。OfficerAway！they’llkillus。
ExeuntallbutAntipholusofSyracuseandDromioofSyracuseANTIPHOLUSOFSYRACUSEIseethesewitchesareafraidofswords。DROMIOOFSYRACUSEShethatwouldbeyourwifenowranfromyou。
ANTIPHOLUSOFSYRACUSECometotheCentaur；fetchourstufffromthence：
Ilongthatweweresafeandsoundaboard。DROMIOOFSYRACUSEFaith，stayherethisnight；theywillsurelydousnoharm：yousawtheyspeakusfair，giveusgold：
methinkstheyaresuchagentlenationthat，butforthemountainofmadfleshthatclaimsmarriageofme，Icouldfindinmyhearttostayherestillandturnwitch。
ANTIPHOLUSOFSYRACUSEIwillnotstayto-nightforallthetown；
Thereforeaway，togetourstuffaboard。
ExeuntACTVSCENEI。AstreetbeforeaPriory。EnterSecondMerchantandANGELOANGELOIamsorry，sir，thatIhavehinder’dyou；
But，Iprotest，hehadthechainofme，Thoughmostdishonestlyhedothdenyit。SecondMerchantHowisthemanesteemedhereinthecity？ANGELOOfveryreverendreputation，sir，Ofcreditinfinite，highlybeloved，Secondtononethatliveshereinthecity：
Hiswordmightbearmywealthatanytime。SecondMerchantSpeaksoftly；yonder，asIthink，hewalks。
EnterANTIPHOLUSofSyracuseandDROMIOofSyracuseANGELO’Tisso；andthatselfchainabouthisneckWhichheforsworemostmonstrouslytohave。
Goodsir，drawneartome，I’llspeaktohim。
SigniorAntipholus，IwondermuchThatyouwouldputmetothisshameandtrouble；
And，notwithoutsomescandaltoyourself，WithcircumstanceandoathssotodenyThischainwhichnowyouwearsoopenly：
Besidethecharge，theshame，imprisonment，Youhavedonewrongtothismyhonestfriend，Who，butforstayingonourcontroversy，Hadhoistedsailandputtoseato-day：
Thischainyouhadofme；canyoudenyit？
ANTIPHOLUSOFSYRACUSEIthinkIhad；Ineverdiddenyit。SecondMerchantYes，thatyoudid，sir，andforsworeittoo。
ANTIPHOLUSOFSYRACUSEWhoheardmetodenyitorforswearit？SecondMerchantTheseearsofmine，thouknow’stdidhearthee。
Fieonthee，wretch！’tispitythatthoulivestTowalkwhereanyhonestmanresort。
ANTIPHOLUSOFSYRACUSEThouartavillaintoimpeachmethus：
I’llproveminehonourandminehonestyAgainsttheepresently，ifthoudareststand。SecondMerchantIdare，anddodefytheeforavillain。
TheydrawEnterADRIANA，LUCIANA，theCourtezan，andothersADRIANAHold，hurthimnot，forGod’ssake！heismad。
Somegetwithinhim，takehisswordaway：
BindDromiotoo，andbearthemtomyhouse。DROMIOOFSYRACUSERun，master，run；forGod’ssake，takeahouse！
Thisissomepriory。In，orwearespoil’d！
ExeuntAntipholusofSyracuseandDromioofSyracusetothePrioryEntertheLadyAbbess，AEMILIAAEMELIABequiet，people。Whereforethrongyouhither？ADRIANATofetchmypoordistractedhusbandhence。
Letuscomein，thatwemaybindhimfastAndbearhimhomeforhisrecovery。ANGELOIknewhewasnotinhisperfectwits。SecondMerchantIamsorrynowthatIdiddrawonhim。AEMELIAHowlonghaththispossessionheldtheman？ADRIANAThisweekhehathbeenheavy，sour，sad，Andmuchdifferentfromthemanhewas；
ButtillthisafternoonhispassionNe’erbrakeintoextremityofrage。AEMELIAHathhenotlostmuchwealthbywreckofsea？
Buriedsomedearfriend？HathnotelsehiseyeStray’dhisaffectioninunlawfullove？
Asinprevailingmuchinyouthfulmen，Whogivetheireyesthelibertyofgazing。
Whichofthesesorrowsishesubjectto？ADRIANATononeofthese，exceptitbethelast；
Namely，somelovethatdrewhimoftfromhome。AEMELIAYoushouldforthathavereprehendedhim。ADRIANAWhy，soIdid。AEMELIAAy，butnotroughenough。ADRIANAAsroughlyasmymodestywouldletme。AEMELIAHaply，inprivate。ADRIANAAndinassembliestoo。AEMELIAAy，butnotenough。ADRIANAItwasthecopyofourconference：
Inbedhesleptnotformyurgingit；
Atboardhefednotformyurgingit；
Alone，itwasthesubjectofmytheme；
IncompanyIoftenglancedit；
StilldidItellhimitwasvileandbad。AEMELIAAndthereofcameitthatthemanwasmad。
ThevenomclamoursofajealouswomanPoisonsmoredeadlythanamaddog’stooth。
Itseemshissleepswerehinder’dbythyrailing，Andthereforecomesitthathisheadislight。
Thousay’sthismeatwassaucedwiththyupbraidings：
Unquietmealsmakeilldigestions；
Thereoftheragingfireoffeverbred；
Andwhat’safeverbutafitofmadness？
Thousay’sthissportswerehinderdbythybrawls：
Sweetrecreationbarr’d，whatdothensueButmoodyanddullmelancholy，Kinsmantogrimandcomfortlessdespair，AndatherheelsahugeinfectioustroopOfpaledistemperaturesandfoestolife？
Infood，insportandlife-preservingrestTobedisturb’d，wouldmadormanorbeast：
TheconsequenceisthenthyjealousfitsHavescaredthyhusbandfromtheuseofwits。LUCIANASheneverreprehendedhimbutmildly，Whenhedemean’dhimselfrough，rudeandwildly。
Whybearyoutheserebukesandanswernot？ADRIANAShedidbetraymetomyownreproof。
Goodpeopleenterandlayholdonhim。AEMELIANo，notacreatureentersinmyhouse。ADRIANAThenletyourservantsbringmyhusbandforth。AEMELIANeither：hetookthisplaceforsanctuary，AnditshallprivilegehimfromyourhandsTillIhavebroughthimtohiswitsagain，Orlosemylabourinassayingit。ADRIANAIwillattendmyhusband，behisnurse，Diethissickness，foritismyoffice，Andwillhavenoattorneybutmyself；
Andthereforeletmehavehimhomewithme。AEMELIABepatient；forIwillnotlethimstirTillIhaveusedtheapprovedmeansIhave，Withwholesomesyrups，drugsandholyprayers，Tomakeofhimaformalmanagain：
Itisabranchandparcelofmineoath，Acharitabledutyofmyorder。
Thereforedepartandleavehimherewithme。ADRIANAIwillnothenceandleavemyhusbandhere：
AndillitdothbeseemyourholinessToseparatethehusbandandthewife。AEMELIABequietanddepart：thoushaltnothavehim。
ExitLUCIANAComplainuntothedukeofthisindignity。ADRIANACome，go：IwillfallprostrateathisfeetAndneverriseuntilmytearsandprayersHavewonhisgracetocomeinpersonhitherAndtakeperforcemyhusbandfromtheabbess。SecondMerchantBythis，Ithink，thedialpointsatfive：
Anon，I’msure，thedukehimselfinpersonComesthiswaytothemelancholyvale，Theplaceofdeathandsorryexecution，Behindtheditchesoftheabbeyhere。ANGELOUponwhatcause？SecondMerchantToseeareverendSyracusianmerchant，WhoputunluckilyintothisbayAgainstthelawsandstatutesofthistown，Beheadedpubliclyforhisoffence。ANGELOSeewheretheycome：wewillbeholdhisdeath。LUCIANAKneeltothedukebeforehepasstheabbey。
EnterDUKESOLINUS，attended；AEGEONbareheaded；withtheHeadsmanandotherOfficersDUKESOLINUSYetonceagainproclaimitpublicly，Ifanyfriendwillpaythesumforhim，Heshallnotdie；somuchwetenderhim。ADRIANAJustice，mostsacredduke，againsttheabbess！DUKESOLINUSSheisavirtuousandareverendlady：
Itcannotbethatshehathdonetheewrong。ADRIANAMayitpleaseyourgrace，Antipholus，myhusband，WhomImadelordofmeandallIhad，Atyourimportantletters，——thisilldayAmostoutrageousfitofmadnesstookhim；
Thatdesperatelyhehurriedthroughthestreet，Withhimhisbondman，allasmadashe——
DoingdispleasuretothecitizensByrushingintheirhouses，bearingthenceRings，jewels，anythinghisragedidlike。
OncedidIgethimboundandsenthimhome，WhilsttotakeorderforthewrongsIwent，Thathereandtherehisfuryhadcommitted。
Anon，Iwotnotbywhatstrongescape，Hebrokefromthosethathadtheguardofhim；
Andwithhismadattendantandhimself，Eachonewithirefulpassion，withdrawnswords，Metusagainandmadlybentonus，Chasedusaway；till，raisingofmoreaid，Wecameagaintobindthem。ThentheyfledIntothisabbey，whitherwepursuedthem：
AndheretheabbessshutsthegatesonusAndwillnotsufferustofetchhimout，Norsendhimforththatwemaybearhimhence。
Therefore，mostgraciousduke，withthycommandLethimbebroughtforthandbornehenceforhelp。DUKESOLINUSLongsincethyhusbandservedmeinmywars，AndItotheeengagedaprince’sword，Whenthoudidstmakehimmasterofthybed，TodohimallthegraceandgoodIcould。
Go，someofyou，knockattheabbey-gateAndbidtheladyabbesscometome。
IwilldeterminethisbeforeIstir。
EnteraServantServantOmistress，mistress，shiftandsaveyourself！
Mymasterandhismanarebothbrokeloose，Beatenthemaidsa-rowandboundthedoctorWhosebeardtheyhavesingedoffwithbrandsoffire；
Andever，asitblazed，theythrewonhimGreatpailsofpuddledmiretoquenchthehair：
MymasterpreachespatiencetohimandthewhileHismanwithscissorsnickshimlikeafool，Andsure，unlessyousendsomepresenthelp，Betweenthemtheywillkilltheconjurer。ADRIANAPeace，fool！thymasterandhismanarehere，Andthatisfalsethoudostreporttous。ServantMistress，uponmylife，Itellyoutrue；
IhavenotbreathedalmostsinceIdidseeit。
Hecriesforyou，andvows，ifhecantakeyou，Toscorchyourfaceandtodisfigureyou。
CrywithinHark，hark！Ihearhim，mistress。fly，begone！DUKESOLINUSCome，standbyme；fearnothing。Guardwithhalberds！ADRIANAAyme，itismyhusband！Witnessyou，Thatheisborneaboutinvisible：
Evennowwehousedhimintheabbeyhere；
Andnowhe’sthere，pastthoughtofhumanreason。
EnterANTIPHOLUSofEphesusandDROMIOofEphesusANTIPHOLUSOFEPHESUSJustice，mostgraciousduke，O，grantmejustice！
EvenfortheservicethatlongsinceIdidthee，WhenIbestridtheeinthewarsandtookDeepscarstosavethylife；evenforthebloodThatthenIlostforthee，nowgrantmejustice。AEGEONUnlessthefearofdeathdothmakemedote，IseemysonAntipholusandDromio。
ANTIPHOLUSOFEPHESUSJustice，sweetprince，againstthatwomanthere！
Shewhomthougavesttometobemywife，Thathathabusedanddishonour’dmeEveninthestrengthandheightofinjury！
BeyondimaginationisthewrongThatshethisdayhathshamelessthrownonme。DUKESOLINUSDiscoverhow，andthoushaltfindmejust。
ANTIPHOLUSOFEPHESUSThisday，greatduke，sheshutthedoorsuponme，Whileshewithharlotsfeastedinmyhouse。DUKESOLINUSAgrievousfault！Say，woman，didstthouso？ADRIANANo，mygoodlord：myself，heandmysisterTo-daydiddinetogether。SobefallmysoulAsthisisfalseheburdensmewithal！LUCIANANe’ermayIlookonday，norsleeponnight，Butshetellstoyourhighnesssimpletruth！ANGELOOperjuredwoman！Theyarebothforsworn：
Inthisthemadmanjustlychargeththem。
ANTIPHOLUSOFEPHESUSMyliege，IamadvisedwhatIsay，Neitherdisturbedwiththeeffectofwine，Norheady-rash，provokedwithragingire，Albeitmywrongsmightmakeonewisermad。
Thiswomanlock’dmeoutthisdayfromdinner：
Thatgoldsmiththere，werehenotpack’dwithher，Couldwitnessit，forhewaswithmethen；
Whopartedwithmetogofetchachain，PromisingtobringittothePorpentine，WhereBalthazarandIdiddinetogether。
Ourdinnerdone，andhenotcomingthither，Iwenttoseekhim：inthestreetImethimAndinhiscompanythatgentleman。
TheredidthisperjuredgoldsmithswearmedownThatIthisdayofhimreceivedthechain，Which，Godheknows，Isawnot：forthewhichHedidarrestmewithanofficer。
Ididobey，andsentmypeasanthomeForcertainducats：hewithnonereturn’dThenfairlyIbespoketheofficerTogoinpersonwithmetomyhouse。
BythewaywemetMywife，hersister，andarabblemoreOfvileconfederates。AlongwiththemTheybroughtonePinch，ahungrylean-facedvillain，Amereanatomy，amountebank，Athreadbarejugglerandafortune-teller，Aneedy，hollow-eyed，sharp-lookingwretch，Adead-lookingman：thisperniciousslave，Forsooth，tookonhimasaconjurer，And，gazinginmineeyes，feelingmypulse，Andwithnoface，as’twere，outfacingme，Criesout，Iwaspossess’d。ThenalltogetherTheyfelluponme，boundme，boremethenceAndinadarkanddankishvaultathomeThereleftmeandmyman，bothboundtogether；
Till，gnawingwithmyteethmybondsinsunder，Igain’dmyfreedom，andimmediatelyRanhithertoyourgrace；whomIbeseechTogivemeamplesatisfactionForthesedeepshamesandgreatindignities。ANGELOMylord，intruth，thusfarIwitnesswithhim，Thathedinednotathome，butwaslock’dout。DUKESOLINUSButhadhesuchachainoftheeorno？ANGELOHehad，mylord：andwhenheraninhere，Thesepeoplesawthechainabouthisneck。SecondMerchantBesides，IwillbesworntheseearsofmineHeardyouconfessyouhadthechainofhimAfteryoufirstforsworeitonthemart：
AndthereuponIdrewmyswordonyou；
Andthenyoufledintothisabbeyhere，Fromwhence，Ithink，youarecomebymiracle。
ANTIPHOLUSOFEPHESUSInevercamewithintheseabbey-walls，Noreverdidstthoudrawthyswordonme：
Ineversawthechain，sohelpmeHeaven！
Andthisisfalseyouburdenmewithal。DUKESOLINUSWhy，whatanintricateimpeachisthis！
IthinkyouallhavedrunkofCirce’scup。
Ifhereyouhousedhim，herehewouldhavebeen；
Ifheweremad，hewouldnotpleadsocoldly：
Yousayhedinedathome；thegoldsmithhereDeniesthatsaying。Sirrah，whatsayyou？DROMIOOFEPHESUSSir，hedinedwithherthere，atthePorpentine。CourtezanHedid，andfrommyfingersnatch’dthatring。
ANTIPHOLUSOFEPHESUS’Tistrue，myliege；thisringIhadofher。DUKESOLINUSSaw’stthouhimenterattheabbeyhere？CourtezanAssure，myliege，asIdoseeyourgrace。DUKESOLINUSWhy，thisisstrange。Gocalltheabbesshither。
Ithinkyouareallmatedorstarkmad。
ExitonetoAbbessAEGEONMostmightyduke，vouchsafemespeakaword：
HaplyIseeafriendwillsavemylifeAndpaythesumthatmaydeliverme。DUKESOLINUSSpeakfreely，Syracusian，whatthouwilt。AEGEONIsnotyourname，sir，call’dAntipholus？
Andisnotthatyourbondman，Dromio？DROMIOOFEPHESUSWithinthishourIwashisbondmansir，Buthe，Ithankhim，gnaw’dintwomycords：
NowamIDromioandhismanunbound。AEGEONIamsureyoubothofyourememberme。DROMIOOFEPHESUSOurselveswedoremember，sir，byyou；
Forlatelywewerebound，asyouarenowYouarenotPinch’spatient，areyou，sir？AEGEONWhylookyoustrangeonme？youknowmewell。ANTIPHOLUSIneversawyouinmylifetillnow。AEGEONO，griefhathchangedmesinceyousawmelast，Andcarefulhourswithtime’sdeformedhandHavewrittenstrangedefeaturesinmyface：
Buttellmeyet，dostthounotknowmyvoice？
ANTIPHOLUSOFEPHESUSNeither。AEGEONDromio，northou？DROMIOOFEPHESUSNo，trustme，sir，norI。AEGEONIamsurethoudost。DROMIOOFEPHESUSAy，sir，butIamsureIdonot；andwhatsoeveramandenies，youarenowboundtobelievehim。AEGEONNotknowmyvoice！Otime’sextremity，Hastthousocrack’dandsplittedmypoortongueInsevenshortyears，thatheremyonlysonKnowsnotmyfeeblekeyofuntunedcares？
ThoughnowthisgrainedfaceofminebehidInsap-consumingwinter’sdrizzledsnow，Andalltheconduitsofmybloodfrozeup，Yethathmynightoflifesomememory，Mywastinglampssomefadingglimmerleft，Mydulldeafearsalittleusetohear：
Alltheseoldwitnesses——Icannoterr——
TellmethouartmysonAntipholus。
ANTIPHOLUSOFEPHESUSIneversawmyfatherinmylife。AEGEONButsevenyearssince，inSyracusa，boy，Thouknow’stweparted：butperhaps，myson，Thoushamesttoacknowledgemeinmisery。
ANTIPHOLUSOFEPHESUSThedukeandallthatknowmeinthecityCanwitnesswithmethatitisnotsoIne’ersawSyracusainmylife。DUKESOLINUSItellthee，Syracusian，twentyyearsHaveIbeenpatrontoAntipholus，Duringwhichtimehene’ersawSyracusa：
Iseethyageanddangersmaketheedote。
Re-enterAEMILIA，withANTIPHOLUSofSyracuseandDROMIOofSyracuseAEMELIAMostmightyduke，beholdamanmuchwrong’d。
AllgathertoseethemADRIANAIseetwohusbands，ormineeyesdeceiveme。DUKESOLINUSOneofthesemenisGeniustotheother；
Andsoofthese。Whichisthenaturalman，Andwhichthespirit？whodeciphersthem？DROMIOOFSYRACUSEI，sir，amDromio；commandhimaway。DROMIOOFEPHESUSI，sir，amDromio；pray，letmestay。
ANTIPHOLUSOFSYRACUSEAEgeonartthounot？orelsehisghost？DROMIOOFSYRACUSEO，myoldmaster！whohathboundhimhere？AEMELIAWhoeverboundhim，IwillloosehisbondsAndgainahusbandbyhisliberty。
Speak，oldAEgeon，ifthoube’stthemanThathadstawifeoncecall’dAEmiliaThatboretheeataburdentwofairsons：
O，ifthoube’stthesameAEgeon，speak，AndspeakuntothesameAEmilia！AEGEONIfIdreamnot，thouartAEmilia：
Ifthouartshe，tellmewhereisthatsonThatfloatedwiththeeonthefatalraft？AEMELIABymenofEpidamnumheandI
AndthetwinDromioallweretakenup；
ButbyandbyrudefishermenofCorinthByforcetookDromioandmysonfromthemAndmetheyleftwiththoseofEpidamnum。
WhatthenbecameofthemIcannottellItothisfortunethatyouseemein。DUKESOLINUSWhy，herebeginshismorningstoryright；
ThesetwoAntipholuses，thesetwosolike，AndthesetwoDromios，oneinsemblance，——
Besidesherurgingofherwreckatsea，——
Thesearetheparentstothesechildren，Whichaccidentallyaremettogether。
Antipholus，thoucamestfromCorinthfirst？
ANTIPHOLUSOFSYRACUSENo，sir，notI；IcamefromSyracuse。DUKESOLINUSStay，standapart；Iknownotwhichiswhich。
ANTIPHOLUSOFEPHESUSIcamefromCorinth，mymostgraciouslord，——DROMIOOFEPHESUSAndIwithhim。
ANTIPHOLUSOFEPHESUSBroughttothistownbythatmostfamouswarrior，DukeMenaphon，yourmostrenowneduncle。ADRIANAWhichofyoutwodiddinewithmeto-day？
ANTIPHOLUSOFSYRACUSEI，gentlemistress。ADRIANAAndarenotyoumyhusband？
ANTIPHOLUSOFEPHESUSNo；Isaynaytothat。
ANTIPHOLUSOFSYRACUSEAndsodoI；yetdidshecallmeso：
Andthisfairgentlewoman，hersisterhere，Didcallmebrother。
ToLucianaWhatItoldyouthen，IhopeIshallhaveleisuretomakegood；
IfthisbenotadreamIseeandhear。ANGELOThatisthechain，sir，whichyouhadofme。
ANTIPHOLUSOFSYRACUSEIthinkitbe，sir；Idenyitnot。
ANTIPHOLUSOFEPHESUSAndyou，sir，forthischainarrestedme。ANGELOIthinkIdid，sir；Idenyitnot。ADRIANAIsentyoumoney，sir，tobeyourbail，ByDromio；butIthinkhebroughtitnot。DROMIOOFEPHESUSNo，nonebyme。
ANTIPHOLUSOFSYRACUSEThispurseofducatsIreceivedfromyou，AndDromio，myman，didbringthemme。
Iseewestilldidmeeteachother’sman，AndIwasta’enforhim，andheforme，Andthereupontheseerrorsarearose。
ANTIPHOLUSOFEPHESUSTheseducatspawnIformyfatherhere。DUKESOLINUSItshallnotneed；thyfatherhathhislife。CourtezanSir，Imusthavethatdiamondfromyou。
ANTIPHOLUSOFEPHESUSThere，takeit；andmuchthanksformygoodcheer。AEMELIARenownedduke，vouchsafetotakethepainsTogowithusintotheabbeyhereAndhearatlargediscoursedallourfortunes：
Andallthatareassembledinthisplace，Thatbythissympathizedoneday’serrorHavesuffer’dwrong，gokeepuscompany，Andweshallmakefullsatisfaction。
Thirty-threeyearshaveIbutgoneintravailOfyou，mysons；andtillthispresenthourMyheavyburdenne’erdelivered。
Theduke，myhusbandandmychildrenboth，Andyouthecalendarsoftheirnativity，Gotoagossips’feastandgowithme；
Aftersolonggrief，suchfestivity！DUKESOLINUSWithallmyheart，I’llgossipatthisfeast。
ExeuntallbutAntipholusofSyracuse，AntipholusofEphesus，DromioofSyracuseandDromioofEphesusDROMIOOFSYRACUSEMaster，shallIfetchyourstufffromshipboard？
ANTIPHOLUSOFEPHESUSDromio，whatstuffofminehastthouembark’d？DROMIOOFSYRACUSEYourgoodsthatlayathost，sir，intheCentaur。
ANTIPHOLUSOFSYRACUSEHespeakstome。Iamyourmaster，Dromio：
Come，gowithus；we’lllooktothatanon：
Embracethybrotherthere；rejoicewithhim。
ExeuntAntipholusofSyracuseandAntipholusofEphesusDROMIOOFSYRACUSEThereisafatfriendatyourmaster’shouse，Thatkitchen’dmeforyouto-dayatdinner：
Shenowshallbemysister，notmywife。DROMIOOFEPHESUSMethinksyouaremyglass，andnotmybrother：
IseebyyouIamasweet-facedyouth。
Willyouwalkintoseetheirgossiping？DROMIOOFSYRACUSENotI，sir；youaremyelder。DROMIOOFEPHESUSThat’saquestion：howshallwetryit？DROMIOOFSYRACUSEWe’lldrawcutsforthesenior：tillthenleadthoufirst。DROMIOOFEPHESUSNay，then，thus：
Wecameintotheworldlikebrotherandbrother；
Andnowlet’sgohandinhand，notonebeforeanother。