第4章

Itwasrough,——mightyrough;

Buttheboystheystoodby,AndtheybroughthimthestuffForahouse,onthesly;

Andtheoldwoman,——well,shedidwashing,andtookonwhennoonewasnigh。

Butthis’yerluckofDow’sWassopowerfulmeanThatthespringnearhishouseDriedrightuponthegreen;

Andhesunkfortyfeetdownforwater,butnaryadroptobeseen。

Thenthebarpeteredout,Andtheboyswouldn’tstay;

Andthechillsgotabout,Andhiswifefellaway;

ButDowinhiswellkeptapeggin’inhisusualridikilousway。

Oneday,——itwasJune,Andayearago,jest——

ThisDowkematnoonTohisworkliketherest,Withashovelandpickonhisshoulder,andderringerhidinhisbreast。

Hegoestothewell,Andhestandsonthebrink,AndstopsforaspellJesttolistenandthink:

Forthesuninhiseyes(jestlikethis,sir!),yousee,kindermadethecussblink。

HistworaggedgalsInthegulchwereatplay,AndagowndthatwasSal’sKinderflappedonabay:

Notmuchforamantobeleavin’,buthisall,——asI’veheer’dthefolkssay。

And——That’sapearthossThetyou’vegot,——ain’titnow?

Whatmightbehercost?

Eh?Oh!——Well,then,Dow——

Let’ssee,——well,thatforty-footgravewasn’this,sir,thatday,anyhow。

ForablowofhispickSortercavedintheside,Andhelookedandturnedsick,Thenhetrembledandcried。

Foryouseethederncusshadstruck——\"Water?\"——Begyourparding,youngman,——thereyoulied!

ItwasGOLD,——inthequartz,Anditranallalike;

AndIreckonfiveoughtsWastheworthofthatstrike;

Andthathousewiththecoopilow’shis’n,——whichthesameisn’tbadforaPike。

Thet’swhyit’sDow’sFlat;

AndthethingofitisThathekindergotthatThroughsheercontrairiness:

For’twasWATERthedernedcusswasseekin’,andhisluckmadehimcertaintomiss。

Thet’sso!Thar’syourway,Totheleftofyontree;

But——a——lookh’yur,say?

Won’tyoucomeuptotea?

No?Well,thenthenexttimeyou’repassin’;andaskafterDow,——

andthet’sME。

INTHETUNNEL

Didn’tknowFlynn,——

FlynnofVirginia,——

Longashe’sbeen’yar?

Look’eehere,stranger,WharHEVyoubeen?

HereinthistunnelHewasmypardner,ThatsameTomFlynn,——

Workingtogether,Inwindandweather,Dayoutandin。

Didn’tknowFlynn!

Well,thatISqueer;

Why,it’sasinTothinkofTomFlynn,——

Tomwithhischeer,Tomwithoutfear,——

Stranger,look’yar!

Tharinthedrift,Backtothewall,HeheldthetimbersReadytofall;

TheninthedarknessIheardhimcall:

\"Runforyourlife,Jake!

Runforyourwife’ssake!

Don’twaitforme。\"

AndthatwasallHeardinthedin,HeardofTomFlynn,——

FlynnofVirginia。

That’sallaboutFlynnofVirginia。

Thatletsmeout。

Hereinthedamp,——

Outofthesun,——

That’ardernedlampMakesmyeyesrun。

Well,there,——I’mdone!

But,sir,whenyou’llHearthenextfoolAskingofFlynn,——

FlynnofVirginia,——

Justyouchipin,SayyouknewFlynn;

Saythatyou’vebeen’yar。

\"CICELY\"

(ALKALISTATION)

Cicelysaysyou’reapoet;maybe,——Iain’tmuchonrhyme:

Ireckonyou’dgivemeahundred,andbeatmeeverytime。

Poetry!——that’sthewaysomechapsputsupanidee,ButItakesmine\"straightwithoutsugar,\"andthat’swhat’sthematterwithme。

Poetry!——justlookroundyou,——alkali,rock,andsage;

Sage-brush,rock,andalkali;ain’titaprettypage!

Sunintheeastatmornin’,suninthewestatnight,Andtheshadowofthis’yerstationtheon’ythingmovesinsight。

Poetry!——Wellnow——Polly!Polly,runtoyourmam;

Runrightaway,mypooty!By-by!Ain’tshealamb?

Poetry!——thatremindsmeo’suthin’rightinthatsuit:

Jestshetthatdoorthar,willyer?——forCicely’searsiscute。

YenoticedPolly,——thebaby?Amonthaforeshewasborn,Cicely——myoldwoman——wasmoody-likeandforlorn;

Outofherheadandcrazy,andtalkedofflowersandtrees;

Familymanyourself,sir?Well,youknowwhatawomanbe’s。

Narvousshewas,andrestless,——saidthatshe\"couldn’tstay。\"

Stay!——andthenearestwomanseventeenmilesaway。

ButIfixeditupwiththedoctor,andhesaidhewouldbeonhand,AndIkinderstuckbytheshanty,andfencedinthatbito’land。

Onenight,——thetenthofOctober,——Iwokewithachillandafright,Forthedooritwasstandingopen,andCicelywarn’tinsight,Butanotewaspinnedontheblanket,whichitsaidthatshe\"couldn’tstay,\"

Buthadgonetovisitherneighbor,——seventeenmilesaway!

Whenandhowshestampeded,Ididn’twaitfortosee,Foroutintheroad,nextminit,Istartedaswildasshe;

Runningfirstthiswayandthatway,likeahoundthatisoffthescent,Fortherewarn’tnotrackinthedarknesstotellmethewayshewent。

I’vehadsomemightymeanmomentsaforeIkemtothisspot,——

LostonthePlainsin’50,drowndedalmostandshot;

Butoutonthisalkalidesert,a-huntingacrazywife,Wasra’lyason-satis-factoryasanythinginmylife。

\"Cicely!Cicely!Cicely!\"Icalled,andIheldmybreath,And\"Cicely!\"camefromthecanyon,——andallwasasstillasdeath。

And\"Cicely!Cicely!Cicely!\"camefromtherocksbelow,Andjestbutawhisperof\"Cicely!\"downfromthempeaksofsnow。

Iain’twhatyoucallreligious,——butIjestlookeduptothesky,And——this’yer’stowhatI’mcoming,andmaybeyethinkIlie:

Butupawaytotheeast’ard,yallerandbigandfar,Isawofasuddentrisingthesingleristkindofstar。

Bigandyalleranddancing,itseemedtobeckontome:

Yallerandbiganddancing,suchasyouneversee:

Bigandyalleranddancing,——Ineversawsuchastar,AndIthoughtofthemsharpsintheBible,andIwentforitthenandthar。

OverthebrushandbowldersIstumbledandpushedahead,Keepingthestaraforeme,Iwentwhereveritled。

Itmighthevbeenforanhour,whensuddentandpeartandnigh,Outoftheyearthaforemetharrizupababy’scry。

Listen!thar’sthesamemusic;butherlungstheyarestrongernowThanthedayIpackedherandhermother,——I’mdernedifIjestknowhow。

Butthedoctorkemthenextminit,andthejokeo’thewholethingisThatCisneverknewwhathappenedfromthatverynighttothis!

ButCicelysaysyou’reapoet,andmaybeyoumight,someday,Jestslingherarhyme’boutababythatwasborninacuriousway,Andseewhatshesays;and,oldfellow,whenyouspeakofthestar,don’ttellAshow’twasthedoctor’slantern,——formaybe’twon’tsoundsowell。

PENELOPE

(SIMPSON’SBAR,1858)

Soyou’vekem’yeragen,Andoneanswerwon’tdo?

Well,ofallthedernedmenThatI’vestruck,itisyou。

OSal!’yer’sthatdernedfoolfromSimpson’s,cavortin’round’yerinthedew。

Kemin,efyouWILL。

Thar,——quit!Takeacheer。

Notthat;youcan’tfillThemtheercushingsthisyear,——

Forthatcheerwasmyoldman’s,JoeSimpson,andtheydon’tmakesuchmenabout’yer。

Hewastall,wasmyJack,Andasstrongasatree。

Thar’shisgunontherack,——

Jestyouheftit,andsee。

AndYOUcomeacourtin’hiswidder!Lord!wherecanthatcritter,Sal,be!

You’dfillmyJack’splace?

Andamanofyoursize,——

Withnobairdtohisface,Norasnaptohiseyes,Andnary——Sho!thar!Iwasfoolin’,——Iwas,Joe,forsartain,——don’trise。

Sitdown。Law!why,sho!

I’masweakasagal。

Sal!Don’tyougo,Joe,OrI’llfaint,——sure,Ishall。

Sitdown,——ANYWHEER,whereyoulike,Joe,——inthatcheer,ifyouchoose,——Lord!where’sSal?

PLAINLANGUAGEFROMTRUTHFULJAMES

(TABLEMOUNTAIN,1870)

WhichIwishtoremark,Andmylanguageisplain,ThatforwaysthataredarkAndfortricksthatarevain,TheheathenChineeispeculiar,WhichthesameIwouldrisetoexplain。

AhSinwashisname;

AndIshallnotdeny,Inregardtothesame,Whatthatnamemightimply;

Buthissmileitwaspensiveandchildlike,AsIfrequentremarkedtoBillNye。

ItwasAugustthethird,Andquitesoftwastheskies;

WhichitmightbeinferredThatAhSinwaslikewise;

YetheplayeditthatdayuponWilliamAndmeinawayIdespise。

Whichwehadasmallgame,AndAhSintookahand:

ItwasEuchre。ThesameHedidnotunderstand;

Buthesmiledashesatbythetable,Withthesmilethatwaschildlikeandbland。

YetthecardstheywerestockedInawaythatIgrieve,AndmyfeelingswereshockedAtthestateofNye’ssleeve,Whichwasstuffedfullofacesandbowers,Andthesamewithintenttodeceive。

ButthehandsthatwereplayedBythatheathenChinee,Andthepointsthathemade,Werequitefrightfultosee,——

Tillatlastheputdownarightbower,WhichthesameNyehaddealtuntome。

ThenIlookedupatNye,Andhegazeduponme;

Andherosewithasigh,Andsaid,\"Canthisbe?

WeareruinedbyChinesecheaplabor,\"——

AndhewentforthatheathenChinee。

InthescenethatensuedIdidnottakeahand,ButtheflooritwasstrewedLiketheleavesonthestrandWiththecardsthatAhSinhadbeenhiding,Inthegame\"hedidnotunderstand。\"

Inhissleeves,whichwerelong,Hehadtwenty-fourpacks,——

Whichwascomingitstrong,YetIstatebutthefacts;

Andwefoundonhisnails,whichweretaper,Whatisfrequentintapers,——that’swax。

WhichiswhyIremark,Andmylanguageisplain,ThatforwaysthataredarkAndfortricksthatarevain,TheheathenChineeispeculiar,——

WhichthesameIamfreetomaintain。

THESOCIETYUPONTHESTANISLAUS

IresideatTableMountain,andmynameisTruthfulJames;

Iamnotuptosmalldeceitoranysinfulgames;

AndI’lltellinsimplelanguagewhatIknowabouttherowThatbrokeupourSocietyupontheStanislow。

ButfirstIwouldremark,thatitisnotaproperplanForanyscientificgenttowhalehisfellow-man,And,ifamemberdon’tagreewithhispeculiarwhim,Tolayforthatsamememberforto\"putahead\"onhim。

NownothingcouldbefinerormorebeautifultoseeThanthefirstsixmonths’proceedingsofthatsameSociety,TillBrownofCalaverasbroughtalotoffossilbonesThathefoundwithinatunnelnearthetenementofJones。

ThenBrownhereadapaper,andhereconstructedthere,Fromthosesamebones,ananimalthatwasextremelyrare;

AndJonesthenaskedtheChairforasuspensionoftherules,Tillhecouldprovethatthosesameboneswasoneofhislostmules。

ThenBrownhesmiledabittersmile,andsaidhewasatfault,ItseemedhehadbeentrespassingonJones’sfamilyvault;

Hewasamostsarcasticman,thisquietMr。Brown,Andonseveraloccasionshehadcleanedoutthetown。

NowIholditisnotdecentforascientificgentTosayanotherisanass,——atleast,toallintent;

NorshouldtheindividualwhohappenstobemeantReplybyheavingrocksathim,toanygreatextent。

ThenAbnerDeanofAngel’sraisedapointoforder,whenAchunkofoldredsandstonetookhimintheabdomen,Andhesmiledakindofsicklysmile,andcurleduponthefloor,Andthesubsequentproceedingsinterestedhimnomore。

For,inlesstimethanIwriteit,everymemberdidengageInawarfarewiththeremnantsofapalaeozoicage;

Andthewaytheyheavedthosefossilsintheirangerwasasin,TilltheskullofanoldmammothcavedtheheadofThompsonin。

AndthisisallIhavetosayoftheseimpropergames,ForIliveatTableMountain,andmynameisTruthfulJames;

AndI’vetoldinsimplelanguagewhatIknowabouttherowThatbrokeupourSocietyupontheStanislow。

LUKE

(INTHECOLORADOPARK,1873)

Wot’sthatyou’rereadin’?——anovel?Anovel!——well,darnmyskin!

Youamangrownandbeardedandhistin’suchstuffezthatin——

Stuffaboutgalsandtheirsweethearts!Nowonderyou’rethinezaknife。

Lookatme——clartwohundred——andneverreadoneinmylife!

That’smyopiniono’novels。Andeztotheirlyin’roundhere,TheybelongtotheJedge’sdaughter——theJedgewhocameuplastyearOnaccountofhislungsandthemountainsandthebalsamo’pineandfir;

Andhisdaughter——well,shereadnovels,andthat’swhat’sthematterwithher。

YetshewassweetontheJedge,andstuckbyhimdayandnight,Aloneinthecabinup’yer——tillshegrewlikeaghost,allwhite。

Shewusonlyaslipofathing,ezlightandezupandawayEzriflesmokeblownthroughthewoods,butshewasn’tmykind——noway!

Speakin’o’gals,d’yemindthathouseezyourisethehill,AmileandahalffromWhite’s,andjistaboveMattingly’smill?

Youdo?WellnowTHAR’sagal!What!yousawher?Oh,comenow,thar!quit!

Shewasonlybedevlin’youboys,fortomeshedon’tcottononebit。

Nowshe’swhatIcallagal——ezprettyandplumpezaquail;

Teethezwhiteezahound’s,andthey’dgothroughaten-pennynail;

Eyesthatkinsnaplikeacap。Sosheaskedtoknow\"wharIwashid?\"

Shedid!Oh,it’sjistlikehersass,forshe’speartezaKatydid。

ButwhatwasItalkingof?——Oh!theJedgeandhisdaughter——shereadNovelsthewholedaylong,andIreckonshereadthemabed;

AndsometimesshereadthemoutloudtotheJedgeontheporchwherehesat,And’twashow\"LordAugustus\"saidthis,andhow\"LadyBlanche\"shesaidthat。

ButthesickestofallthatIheerdwasayarnthettheyread’boutachap,\"Leather-stocking\"byname,andahunterchockfullo’thegreenesto’sap;

Andtheyaskedmetohear,butIsays,\"MissMabel,notanyforme;

WhenIlikesIkinslingmyownlies,andthetchapandIshouldn’tagree。\"

YetsomehoworotherthatgalallussaidthatIbroughthertomindOffolksaboutwhomshehadread,orsuthinbelikeofthetkind,Andtharwarn’tnoendo’thenamesthatshegivemethetsummeruphere——

\"RobinHood,\"\"Leather-stocking\"\"RobRoy,\"——Oh,Itellyou,thecritterwasqueer!

Andyet,efshehadn’tbeenspiled,shewasharmlessenoughinherway;

ShecouldjabberinFrenchtoherdad,andtheysaidthatsheknewhowtoplay;

Andsheworkedmethatshot-pouchupthar,whichthemandoesn’tliveezkinuse;

Andslippers——yousee’emdown’yer——ezwouldcradleanInjin’spapoose。

Yetalongo’themnovels,yousee,shewaswastin’andmopin’away,Andthenshegotshywithhertongue,andatlastshehadnothin’tosay;

AndwheneverIhappenedaround,herfaceitwashidbyabook,Anditwarn’ttillthedaysheleftthatshegivemeezmuchezalook。

Andthiswasthewayitwas。ItwasnightwhenIkemuphereTosayto’emall\"good-by,\"forIreckonedtogofordeerAt\"sunup\"thedaytheyleft。SoIshook’emallroundbythehand,’CeptMabel,andshewassick,eztheygivemetounderstand。

ButjistezIpassedthehousenextmorningatdawn,someone,Likealittlewavero’mistgotuponthehillwiththesun;

MissMabelitwas,alone——allwrappedinamantleo’lace——

Andshestoodtherestraightintheroad,withatoucho’thesuninherface。

Andshelookedmerightintheeye——I’dseensuthin’likeitbeforeWhenIhuntedawoundeddoetotheedgeo’theClearLakeShore,AndIhadmykneeonitsneck,andIjistwasraisin’myknife,Whenitgivemealooklikethat,and——well,itgotoffwithitslife。

\"Wearegoingto-day,\"shesaid,\"andIthoughtIwouldsaygood-byToyouinyourownhouse,Luke——thesewoodsandthebrightbluesky!

You’vealwaysbeenkindtous,Luke,andpapahasfoundyoustillAsgoodastheairhebreathes,andwholesomeasLaurelTreeHill。

\"Andwe’llalwaysthinkofyou,Luke,asthethingwecouldnottakeaway,——

Thebalsamthatdwellsinthewoods,therainbowthatlivesinthespray。

Andyou’llsometimesthinkofME,Luke,asyouknowyouonceusedtosay,Ariflesmokeblownthroughthewoods,amoment,butnevertostay。\"

Andthenweshookhands。Sheturned,buta-suddentshetotteredandfell,AndIcaughthersharpbythewaist,andheldheraminit。Well,Itwasonlyaminit,youknow,thetezcoldandezwhiteshelayEzasnowflakehereonmybreast,andthen——well,shemeltedaway——

Andwasgone……Andtharareherbooks;butIsaysnotanyforme;

Goodenoughmaybeforsome,butthemandImightn’tagree。

Theyspiledadecentgalezmighthevmadesomechapawife,Andlookatme!——clartwohundred——andneverreadoneinmylife!

\"THEBABESINTHEWOODS\"

(BIGPINEFLAT,1871)

\"Somethingcharacteristic,\"eh?

Humph!IreckonyoumeanbythatSomethingthathappenedinourway,Hereatthecrossin’ofBigPineFlat。

Timesaren’tnowastheyusedtobe,Whengoldwasflushandtheboyswerefrisky,AndamanwouldpullouthisbatteryForanything——maybethepriceofwhiskey。

Nothingofthatsort,eh?That’sstrange!

Why,IthoughtyoumightbedivertedHearinghowJonesofRedRockRangeDrawedhis\"hinttotheunconverted,\"

Andsaying,\"Wharwillyouhaveit?\"shotCherokeeBobatthelastdebating!

WhatwasthequestionIforgot,ButJonesdidn’tlikeBob’swayofstating。

Nothingofthatkind,eh?YoumeanSomethingmilder?Let’ssee!——OJoe!

TelltothestrangerthatlittlesceneOutofthe\"BabesintheWoods。\"Youknow,\"Babes\"wasthenamethatwegave’em,sir,Twoleanladsintheirteens,andgreenerThaneventhebeltofspruceandfirWheretheybuilttheirnest,andeachdaygrewleaner。

Nooneknewwheretheycamefrom。NoneCaredtoaskiftheyhadamother。

Runawayschoolboys,maybe。OneTallanddarkasaspruce;theotherBlueandgoldintheeyesandhair,Softandlowinhisspeech,butrarelyTalkingwithus;andwedidn’tcareTogetattheirsecretatallunfairly。

Fortheyweresoquiet,sosadandshy,Contenttotrusteachothersolely,Thatsomehowwe’dalwaysshutoneeye,AndneverseemtoobservethemwhollyAstheypassedtotheirwork。’Twasaworn-outclaim,Anditpaidthemgrub。Theycouldlivewithoutit,FortheboyshadawayofleavinggameIntheirtent,andforgettingallaboutit。

Yetnooneaskedfortheirsecret。DumbItlayintheirbigeyes’heavyhollows。

ItwasunderstoodthatnooneshouldcomeTotheirtentunawares,savethebeesandswallows。

Sotheylivedalone。UntilonewarmnightIwassittinghereatthetent-door,——so,sir!

Whenoutofthesunset’srosylightUprosetheSheriffofMariposa。

Iknewatoncetherewassomethingwrong,Forhishandandhisvoiceshookjustalittle,Andthereisn’tmuchyoucanfetchalongTomakethesinewsofJackHillbrittle。

\"GowarntheBabes!\"hewhispered,hoarse;

\"TellthemI’mcoming——togetandscurry;

ForI’vegotastorythat’sbad,——andworse,I’vegotawarrant:G-dd——nit,hurry!\"

Toolate!theyhadseenhimcrossthehill;

IrantotheirtentandfoundthemlyingDeadineachother’sarms,andstillClaspingthedrugtheyhadtakenflying。

Andtherelaytheirsecretcoldandbare,Theirlife,theirtrial——theold,oldstory!

ForthesweetblueeyesandthegoldenhairWasaWOMAN’SshameandaWOMAN’Sglory。

\"Whowerethey?\"Asknomore,oraskThesunthatvisitstheirgravesolightly;

Askofthewhisperingreeds,ortaskThemourningcricketsthatchirrupnightly。

Alloftheirlifebutitsloveforgot,Everythingtenderandsoftandmystic,TheseareourBabesintheWoods,——you’vegot,Well——humannature——that’scharacteristic。

THELATESTCHINESEOUTRAGE

Itwasnoonbythesun;wehadfinishedourgame,Andwaspassin’remarksgoin’backtoourclaim;

Joneswascountin’hischips,Smithrelievin’hismindOfideasthata\"straight\"shouldbeat\"threeofakind,\"

WhenJohnsonofElkocamegallopin’down,Withalookonhisface’twixtagrinandafrown,Andhecalls,\"Dropyourshovelsandfacerightabout,ForthemChineesfromMurphy’sarecleanin’usout——

Withtheirching-a-ring-chowAndtheirchic-colorowThey’rebentuponmakingNoslouchofarow。\"

ThenJones——myownpardner——looksupwithasigh;

\"It’syourwash-bill,\"sezhe,andIanswers,\"Youlie!\"

Butaforehecoulddrawortheotherscouldarm,UptumblestheBatesboys,whoheardthealarm。

Andayellfromthehill-topandroarofagong,Mixedupwithremarkslike\"Hi!yi!Chang-a-wong,\"

Andbombs,shells,andcrackers,thatcrashedthroughthetrees,Revealedintheirwar-togsfourhundredChinees!

FourhundredChinee;

Weareeight,don’tyesee!

ThatmadeasquarefiftyTojustoneo’we。

Theyweredressedintheirbest,butIgrievethatthatsameWaslargelymadeupofourown,totheirshame;

Andmypardner’sbestshirtandhistrouserswerehungOnaspear,andabovehimweretauntinglyswung;

Whilethatbeggar,CheyLee,likeaconjurersatPullin’outeggsandchickensfromJohnson’sbesthat;

AndBates’sgameroosterwaspartoftheir\"loot,\"

AndallofSmith’spigswereskyugledtoboot;

ButtheclimaxwasreachedandIliketohavediedWhenmydemijohn,empty,camedownthehillside,——

Downthehillside——

WhatonceheldtheprideOfRobertsonCountyPitcheddownthehillside!

Thenweaxedforaparley。WhenoutofthedinTothefrontcomesa-rockin’thatheathen,AhSin!

\"Youoweflowtydollee——mewasheeyoucamp,Youcatcheemywashee——mecatcheenostamp;

Onedollarhapdozen,menocatcheeyet,Nowthatflowtydollee——nohab?——howcanget?

Mecatcheeyoupiggee——meselleeforcash,Itcatcheemelicee——youcatcheeno’hash;’

MebellygoodSheliff——melebbeewhencan,MealleesamehalppinasMelicanman!

ButMelicanmanHewasheehimpanOnBOTTOMsidehilleeAndcatchee——howcan?\"

\"Arewemen?\"saysJoeJohnson,\"andlisttothisjaw,Withoutprocessofwarrantorcoloroflaw?

Arewemenor——a-chew!\"——herebegaspedinhisspeech,Forastink-pothadfallenjustoutofhisreach。

\"Shallwestandhereasidle,andletAsiapourHerbarbarichordesonthiscivilizedshore?

HastheWhiteMannocountry?Areweleftinthelurch?

Andlikewisewhat’sgoneoftheEstablishedChurch?

Onemantofourhundredisgreatodds,Iown,Butthis’yer’saWhiteMan——Iplaysitalone!\"

Andhesprangupthehillside——tostophimnonedare——

Tillayellfromthetoptolda\"WhiteManwasthere!\"

AWhiteManwasthere!

WeprayedhemightspareThosemisguidedheathensThefewclothestheywear。

Theyfled,andhefollowed,butnomatterwhere;

Theyfledtoescapehim,——the\"WhiteManwasthere,\"——

Tillwemissedfirsthisvoiceonthepine-woodedslope,Andweknewfortheheathenhenceforthwasnohope;

Andtheyellstheygrewfainter,whenPetersensaid,\"Itsimplywashumantoburyhisdead。\"

Andthen,withslowtread,Wecreptup,indread,Butfoundnarymortalthere,Livingordead。

Buttherewashistrail,andthewaythattheycame,Andyonder,nodoubt,hewasbagginghisgame。

WhenJonesdropshispickaxe,andThompsonsays\"Shoo!\"

Andbothof’empointstoacageofbambooHangingdownfromatree,withalabelthatswungConspicuous,withlettersinsomeforeigntongue,Which,whenfreelytranslated,thesamedidappearWastheChineseforsaying,\"AWhiteManishere!\"

Andaswedrewnear,Inangerandfear,Boundhandandfoot,JohnsonLookeddownwithaleer!

Inhismouthwasanopiumpipe——whichwaswhyHeleeredatussowithadrunken-likeeye!

Theyhadshavedoffhiseyebrows,andtackedonacue,Theyhadpaintedhisfaceofacopperyhue,Andriggedhimallupinaheathenishsuit,Thensoftlydeparted,eachmanwithhis\"loot。\"

Yes,everygaloot,AndAhSin,toboot,HadlefthimtherehangingLikeripeningfruit。

AtamassmeetingheldupatMurphy’snextdayTherewereseventeenspeakersandeachhadhissay;

Thereweretwelveresolutionsthatinstantlypassed,Andeachresolutionwasworsethanthelast;

Therewerefourteenpetitions,which,grantingthesame,WilldeterminewhatGovernorMurphy’sshallname;

AndthemanfromourdistrictthatgoesupnextyearGoesupononeissue——that’spatentandclear:

\"Cantheworkofamean,Degraded,uncleanBelieverinBuddhaBeheldasalien?\"

TRUTHFULJAMESTOTHEEDITOR

(YREKA,1873)

WhichitisnotmystyleToproduceneedlesspainBystatementsthatrileOrthatgo’ginthegrain,Buthere’sCaptainJackstilla-livin’,andNyehasnoskelponhisbrain!

OnthatCaucasianheadThereisnocrownofhair;

Ithasgone,ithasfled!

AndEchosez\"Where?\"

AndIasks,\"IsthisNationaWhiteMan’s,andisgenerallythingsonthesquare?\"

ShewasknowninthecampAs\"Nye’sothersquaw,\"

AndfolksofthatstampHeznorightsinthelaw,Butistreacherous,sinful,andslimy,asNyemighthevwellknownbefore。

ButshesaidthatsheknewWheretheInjinswashid,Andthestatementwastrue,Foritseemedthatshedid,SincesheledWilliamwherehewascoveredbyseventeenModocs,and——

slid!

Thentheyreachedforhishair;

ButNyesez,\"BythelawOfnations,forbear!

Isurrenders——nomore:

AndIlookstobetreated,——youhearme?——asapris’ner,apris’nerofwar!\"

ButCaptainJackroseAndhesez,\"It’stoothin!

SuchstatementsasthoseIt’stoolatetobegin。

There’saMODOCINDICTMENTaginyou,OPaleface,andyou’regoin’in!

\"YoustoleSchonchin’ssquawIntheyearsixty-two;

Itwasinsixty-fourThatLongJackyouwentthrough,AndyouburnedNastyJim’srancheria,andhiswivesandhispapoosestoo。

\"ThisguninmyhandWassoldmebyyou’Gainstthelawoftheland,AndIgrievesitistrue!\"

Andheburiedhisfaceinhisblanketandweptashehiditfromview。

Butyou’retriedandcondemned,Andskelping’syourdoom,\"

Andhepausedandhehemmed——

Butwhythisresume?

Hewasskelped’gainstthecustomofnations,andcutofflikearoseinitsbloom。

SoIaskswithoutguile,AndItrustsnotinvain,IfthisisthestyleThatisgoingtoobtain——

Ifhere’sCaptainJackstilla-livin’,andNyewithnoskelponhisbrain?

ANIDYLOFTHEROAD

(SIERRAS,1876)

DRAMATISPERSONAE

FirstTouristSecondTouristYubaBill,DriverAStrangerFIRSTTOURIST

Lookhowtheuplandplungesintocover,Greenwherethepinesfadesullenlyaway。

Wonderfulthoseolivedepths!andwonderful,moreover——

SECONDTOURIST

Thereddustthatrisesinasuffocatingway。

FIRSTTOURIST

Smallisthesoulthatcannotsoaraboveit,Cannotbutclingtoitsever-kindredclay:

Betterbeyonbird,thatseemstobreatheandloveit——

SECONDTOURIST

Doubtlessahawkorsomeotherbirdofprey。

Werewe,likehim,assureofadinnerThatonourstomachswouldcomfortablystay;

Orwerethefriedhamashadeortwojustthinner,Thatmustconfrontusatclosingoftheday:

ThenmightyousinglikeTheocritusorVirgil,Thenmightweeachmakeametricalessay;

Butversejustnow——Imustprotestandurge——illFitsadigestionbytravelledastray。

CHORUSOFPASSENGERS

Speed,YubaBill!oh,speedustoourdinner!

Speedtothesunsetthatbeckonsfaraway。

SECONDTOURIST

WilliamofYuba,OSonofNimshi,hearken!

Checkthyprofanity,butnotthychariot’splay。

Tellus,OWilliam,beforetheshadowsdarken,Where,and,oh!howweshalldine?OWilliam,say!

YUBABILL

Itain’tmyfault,northeKumpeney’s,Ireckon,Yecan’tgetezsquaremealezanyontheBay,Upatyouplace,wharthesenset’pearstobeckon——

Ezthetsharpallowsinhisairysorto’way。

Tharwozaplaceworyerhashyemighthevwrestled,Keptbyawomanezchipperezajay——

Warminherbreastallthemorningsunshinenestled;

Redonhercheeksalltheevening’ssunshinelay。

SECONDTOURIST

Praiseisbutbreath,Ochariotcompeller!

Yetofthathashwewouldbidyoufarthersay。

YUBABILL

Tharwozasnipe——likeyou,afancytourist——

Kemtothatrancheziftomakeastay,Ranoffthegal,andruinedjistthepuristCritterthatlived——

STRANGER(quietly)

You’realiar,driver!

YUBABILL(reachingforhisrevolver)。

Eh!

Heretakemylines,somebody——

CHORUSOFPASSENGERS

Hush,boys!listen!

Insidethere’salady!Remember!Noaffray!

YUBABILL

Efthatmanlives,thefaultain’tmineorhis’n。

STRANGER

Waitforthesunsetthatbeckonsfaraway,Then——asyouwill!But,meantime,friends,believeme,Nowhereonearthlivesapurerwoman;nay,Ifmyperceptionsdosurelynotdeceiveme,Sheistheladywehaveinsideto-day。

Asfortheman——youseethatblackenedpinetree,Upwhichthegreenvinecreepsheavenwardaway!

Hewasthatscarredtrunk,andshethevinethatsweetlyClothedhimwithlifeagain,andlifted——

SECONDTOURIST

Yes;butprayHowknowyouthis?

STRANGER

She’smywife。

YUBABILL

Theh-llyousay!

THOMPSONOFANGELS

ItisthestoryofThompson——ofThompson,theheroofAngels。

FrequentlydrunkwasThompson,butalwayspolitetothestranger;

LightandfreewasthetouchofThompsonuponhisrevolver;

Greatthemortalityincidentonthatlightnessandfreedom。

YetnothappyorgaywasThompson,theheroofAngels;

Oftenspoketohimselfinaccentsofanguishandsorrow,\"WhydoImakethegravesofthefrivolousyouthwhoinfollyThoughtlesslypassmyrevolver,forgettingitslightnessandfreedom?

\"Whyinmydailywalksdoesthesurgeondrophislefteyelid,Theundertakersmile,andthesculptorofgravestonemarblesLeanonhischiselandgaze?Icarenoto’ermuchforattention;

SimpleamIinmyways,savebutforthislightnessandfreedom。\"

Sospakethatpensiveman——thisThompson,theheroofAngels,Bitterlysmiledtohimself,ashestrodethroughthechapparalmusing。

\"Why,oh,why?\"echoedthepinesinthedarkolivedepthfarresounding。

\"Why,indeed?\"whisperedthesagebrushthatbent’neathhisfeetnon-elastic。

Pleasantindeedwasthatmornthatdawnedo’erthebarroomatAngels,Whereintheirmanhood’sprimewasgatheredtheprideofthehamlet。

Six\"tooksugarintheirs,\"andninetothebarkeeperlightlySmiledastheysaid,\"Well,Jim,youcangiveusourregularfusil。\"

Suddenlyasthegrayhawkswoopsdownonthebarnyard,alightingWhere,pensivelypickingtheircorn,thefavoritepulletsaregathered,Sointhatfestivebar-roomdroppedThompson,theheroofAngels,Graspinghisweapondreadwithhispristinelightnessandfreedom。

Neverawordhespoke;divestinghimselfofhisgarments,Dancedthewar-danceoftheplayfulyettruculentModoc,Utteredasinglewhoop,andthen,intheaccentsofchallenge,Spake:\"Oh,beholdinmeaCrestedJayHawkofthemountain。\"

Thenroseapallidman——amansickwithfeverandague;

Smallwashe,andhisstepwastremulous,weak,anduncertain;

SlowlyaDerringerdrew,andcoveredthepersonofThompson;

Saidinhisfeeblestpipe,\"I’maBald-headedSnipeoftheValley。\"

Asonitsnativeplainsthekangaroo,startledbyhunters,Leapswithsuccessivebounds,andhurriesawaytothethickets,SoleapedtheCrestedHawk,andquietlyhoppingbehindhimRan,andoccasionallyshot,thatBald-headedSnipeoftheValley。

VainatthefestivebarstilllingeredthepeopleofAngels,Hearingafarinthewoodsthepetulantpopofthepistol;

NeveragainreturnedtheCrestedJayHawkofthemountains,NeveragainwasseentheBald-headedSnipeoftheValley。

YetinthehamletofAngels,whentruculentspeechesareuttered,Whenbloodshedandlifealonewillatoneforsometriflingmisstatement,MaidensandmenintheirprimerecallthelastheroofAngels,ThinkofandvainlyregrettheBald-headedSnipeoftheValley!

THEHAWK’SNEST

(SIERRAS)

Wecheckedourpace,theredroadsharplyrounding;

WeheardthetroubledflowOfthedarkolivedepthsofpinesresoundingAthousandfeetbelow。

Abovethetumultofthecanyonlifted,Thegrayhawkbreathlesshung,OronthehillawingedshadowdriftedWherefurzeandthorn-bushclung;

Orwherehalf-waythemountainsidewasfurrowedWithmanyaseamandscar;

Orsomeabandonedtunneldimlyburrowed,——

Amole-hillseensofar。

WelookedinsilencedownacrossthedistantUnfathomablereach:

Asilencebrokenbytheguide’sconsistentAndrealisticspeech。

\"WalkerofMurphy’sblewaholethroughPetersFortellinghimhelied;

ThenupanddustedoutofSouthHornitosAcrosstheLongDivide。

\"WeranhimoutofStrong’s,andupthroughEden,And’crossthefordbelow,Andupthiscanyon(Peters’brotherleadin’),AndmeandClarkandJoe。

\"Hefou’tusgame:somehowIdisrememberJesthowthethingkemround;

Somesay’twaswadding,someascatteredemberFromfiresontheground。

\"ButinoneminuteallthehillbelowhimWasjustonesheetofflame;

Guardin’thecrest,SamClarkandIcalledtohim,And,——well,thedogwasgame!

\"Hemadenosign:thefiresofhellwereroundhim,Thepitofhellbelow。

Wesatandwaited,butweneverfoundhim;

Andthenweturnedtogo。

\"Andthen——youseethatrockthat’sgrownsobristlyWithchapparalandtan——

Suthincrep’out:itmighthevbeenagrizzlyItmighthevbeenaman;

\"Suthinthathowled,andgnasheditsteeth,andshoutedInsmokeanddustandflame;

Suthinthatsprangintothedepthsaboutit,Grizzlyorman,——butgame!

\"That’sall!Well,yes,itdoeslookratherrisky,AndkindermakesonequeerAnddizzylookingdown。AdropofwhiskeyAin’tabadthingrighthere!\"

HERLETTER

I’msittingalonebythefire,DressedjustasIcamefromthedance,InarobeevenYOUwouldadmire,——

ItcostacoolthousandinFrance;

I’mbe-diamondedoutofallreason,Myhairisdoneupinacue:

Inshort,sir,\"thebelleoftheseason\"

Iswastinganhouruponyou。

AdozenengagementsI’vebroken;

Ileftinthemidstofaset;

Likewiseaproposal,halfspoken,Thatwaits——onthestairs——formeyet。

Theysayhe’llberich,——whenhegrowsup,——

Andthenheadoresmeindeed;

Andyou,sir,areturningyournoseup,Threethousandmilesoffasyouread。

\"AndhowdoIlikemyposition?\"

\"AndwhatdoIthinkofNewYork?\"

\"Andnow,inmyhigherambition,WithwhomdoIwaltz,flirt,ortalk?\"

\"Andisn’titnicetohaveriches,Anddiamondsandsilks,andallthat?\"

\"Andaren’ttheyachangetotheditchesAndtunnelsofPovertyFlat?\"

Well,yes,——ifyousawusoutdrivingEachdayinthePark,four-in-hand,IfyousawpoordearmammacontrivingTolooksupernaturallygrand,——

Ifyousawpapa’spicture,astakenByBrady,andtintedatthat,You’dneversuspecthesoldbaconAndflouratPovertyFlat。

Andyet,justthismoment,whensittingIntheglareofthegrandchandelier,——

InthebustleandglitterbefittingThe\"finestsoireeoftheyear,\"——

InthemistsofagazedeChambery,Andthehumofthesmallestoftalk,——

Somehow,Joe,Ithoughtofthe\"Ferry,\"

Andthedancethatwehadon\"TheFork;\"

OfHarrison’sbarn,withitsmusterOfflagsfestoonedoverthewall;

OfthecandlesthatshedtheirsoftlustreAndtallowonhead-dressandshawl;

Ofthestepsthatwetooktoonefiddle,Ofthedressofmyqueervis-a-vis;

AndhowIoncewentdownthemiddleWiththemanthatshotSandyMcGee;

OfthemoonthatwasquietlysleepingOnthehill,whenthetimecametogo;

OfthefewbabypeaksthatwerepeepingFromundertheirbedclothesofsnow;

Ofthatride——thattomewastherarest;

Of——thesomethingyousaidatthegate。

Ah!Joe,thenIwasn’tanheiressTo\"thebest-payingleadintheState。\"

Well,well,it’sallpast;yetit’sfunnyTothink,asIstoodintheglareOffashionandbeautyandmoney,ThatIshouldbethinking,rightthere,Ofsomeonewhobreastedhighwater,AndswamtheNorthFork,andallthat,JusttodancewitholdFolinsbee’sdaughter,TheLilyofPovertyFlat。

Butgoodness!whatnonsenseI’mwriting!

(Mammasaysmytastestillislow),Insteadofmytriumphsreciting,I’mspooningonJoseph,——heigh-ho!

AndI’mtobe\"finished\"bytravel,——

Whatever’sthemeaningofthat。

Oh,whydidpapastrikepaygravelIndriftingonPovertyFlat?

Good-night!——here’stheendofmypaper;

Good-night!——ifthelongitudeplease,——

Formaybe,whilewastingmytaper,YOURsun’sclimbingoverthetrees。

Butknow,ifyouhaven’tgotriches,Andarepoor,dearestJoe,andallthat,Thatmyheart’ssomewherethereintheditches,Andyou’vestruckit,——onPovertyFlat。

HISANSWERTO\"HERLETTER\"

(REPORTEDBYTRUTHFULJAMES)

Beingaskedbyanintimateparty,——

WhichthesameIwouldtermasafriend,——

Thoughhishealthitwerevaintocallhearty,Sincethemindtodeceititmightlend;

Forhisarmitwasbrokenquiterecent,Andthere’ssomethinggonewrongwithhislung,——

WhichiswhyitisproperanddecentIshouldwritewhatherunsoffhistongue。

First,hesays,Miss,he’sreadthroughyourletterTotheend,——and\"theendcametoosoon;\"

Thata\"slightillnesskepthimyourdebtor,\"

(Whichforweekshewaswildasaloon);

That\"hisspiritsarebuoyantasyoursis;\"

Thatwithyou,Miss,he\"challengesFate,\"

(WhichthelanguagethatinvalidusesAttimesitwerevaintorelate)。

Andhesays\"thatthemountainsarefairerForoncebeingheldinyourthought;\"

Thateachrock\"holdsawealththatisrarerThaneverbygold-seekersought。\"

(Whicharewordshewouldputinthesepages,Byapartynotgiventoguile;

Thoughtheclaimnot,atdate,payingwages,Mightproduceinthesinfulasmile。)

HerememberstheballattheFerry,Andtheride,andthegate,andthevow,Andtherosethatyougavehim,——thatverySameroseheis\"treasuringnow。\"

(Whichhisblankethe’skickedonhistrunk,Miss,AndinsistsonhislegsbeingfreeAndhislanguagetomefromhisbunk,Miss,Isfrequentandpainfulandfree。)

Hehopesyouarewearingnowillows,Butarehappyandgayallthewhile;

Thatheknows——(whichthisdodgingofpillowsImpartsbutsmalleasetothestyle,Andthesameyouwillpardon)——heknows,Miss,That,thoughpartedbymanyamile,Yet,wereHElyingunderthesnows,Miss,They’dmeltintotearsatyoursmile。\"

And\"you’llstillthinkofhiminyourpleasures,Inyourbrieftwilightdreamsofthepast;

Inthisgreenlaurelspraythathetreasures,——

Itwaspluckedwhereyourpartingwaslast;

Inthisspecimen,——butasmalltrifle,——

Itwilldoforapinforyourshawl。\"

(Which,thetruthnottowickedlystifle,Washislastweek’s\"cleanup,\"——andHISALL。)

He’sasleep,whichthesamemightseemstrange,Miss,WereitnotthatIscorntodenyThatIraisedhislastdose,forachange,Miss,Inviewthathisfeverwashigh;

Butheliestherequitepeacefulandpensive。

Andnow,myrespects,Miss,toyou;

Whichmylanguage,althoughcomprehensive,Mightseemtobefreedom,istrue。

ForIhaveasmallfavortoaskyou,Asconcernsabull-pup,andthesame,——

Ifthedutywouldnotovertaskyou,——

Youwouldpleasetoprocureforme,GAME;

AndsendperexpresstotheFlat,Miss,——

FortheysayYorkisfamedforthebreed,Which,thoughwordsofdeceitmaybethat,Miss,I’lltrusttoyourtaste,Miss,indeed。