Aspiritnowadvanced，andthegatewasimmediatelythrownopentohimbeforehehadspokenaword。Iheardsomewhisper，\"Thatisourlastlordmayor。\"
Itnowcametoourcompany’sturn。ThefairspiritwhichI
mentionedwithsomuchapplauseinthebeginningofmyjourneypassedthroughveryeasily;butthegraveladywasrejectedonherfirstappearance，MinosdeclaringtherewasnotasingleprudeinElysium。
Thejudgethenaddressedhimselftome，wholittleexpectedtopassthisfierytrial。IconfessedIhadindulgedmyselfveryfreelywithwineandwomeninmyyouth，buthadneverdoneaninjurytoanymanliving，noravoidedanopportunityofdoinggood;thatIpretendedtoverylittlevirtuemorethangeneralphilanthrophyandprivatefriendship。Iwasproceeding，whenMinosbademeenterthegate，andnotindulgemyselfwithtrumpetingforthmyvirtues。Iaccordinglypassedforwardwithmylovelycompanion，and，embracingherwithvasteagerness，butspiritualinnocence，shereturnedmyembraceinthesamemanner，andwebothcongratulatedourselvesonourarrivalinthishappyregion，whosebeautynopaintingoftheimaginationcandescribe。
CHAPTERVIII
TheadventureswhichtheauthormetonhisfirstentranceintoElysium。
Wepursuedourwaythroughadeliciousgroveoforange—trees，whereIsawinfinitenumbersofspirits，everyoneofwhomI
knew，andwasknownbythem（forspiritshereknowoneanotherbyintuition）。IpresentlymetalittledaughterwhomIhadlostseveralyearsbefore。Goodgods！whatwordscandescribetheraptures，themeltingpassionatetenderness，withwhichwekissedeachother，continuinginourembrace，withthemostecstaticjoy，aspacewhich，iftimehadbeenmeasuredhereasonearth，couldnotbelessthanhalfayear。
ThefirstspiritwithwhomIenteredintodiscoursewasthefamousLeonidasofSparta。Iacquaintedhimwiththehonorswhichhadbeendonehimbyacelebratedpoetofournation;towhichheansweredhewasverymuchobligedtohim。WewerepresentlyafterwardsentertainedwiththemostdeliciousvoiceI
hadeverheard，accompaniedbyaviolin，equaltoSigniorPiantinida。IpresentlydiscoveredthemusicianandsongstertobeOrpheusandSappho。
OldHomerwaspresentatthisconcert（ifImaysocallit），andMadamDaciersatinhislap。HeaskedmuchafterMr。Pope，andsaidhewasverydesirousofseeinghim;forthathehadreadhisIliadinhistranslationwithalmostasmuchdelightashebelievedhehadgivenothersintheoriginal。Ihadthecuriositytoinquirewhetherhehadreallywritthatpoemindetachedpieces，andsungitaboutasballadsalloverGreece，accordingtothereportwhichwentofhim。Hesmiledatmyquestion，andaskedmewhetherthereappearedanyconnectioninthepoem;foriftheredidhethoughtImightanswermyself。I
thenimportunedhimtoacquaintmeinwhichofthecitieswhichcontendedforthehonorofhisbirthhewasreallyborn？Towhichheanswered，\"UponmysoulIcan’ttell。\"
Virgilthencameuptome，withMr。Addisonunderhisarm。
\"Well，sir，\"saidhe，\"howmanytranslationshavethesefewlastyearsproducedofmyAeneid？\"ItoldhimIbelievedseveral，butIcouldnotpossiblyremember;forthatIhadneverreadanybutDr。Trapp’s。\"Ay，\"saidhe，\"thatisacuriouspieceindeed！\"I
thenacquaintedhimwiththediscoverymadebyMr。WarburtonoftheElusinianmysteriescouchedinhissixthbook。\"Whatmysteries？\"saidMr。Addison。\"TheElusinian，\"answeredVirgil，\"whichIhavedisclosedinmysixthbook。\"\"How！\"repliedAddison。\"Younevermentionedawordofanysuchmysteriestomeinallouracquaintance。\"\"Ithoughtitwasunnecessary，\"criedtheother，\"toamanofyourinfinitelearning：besides，youalwaystoldmeyouperfectlyunderstoodmymeaning。\"UponthisI
thoughtthecriticlookedalittleoutofcountenance，andturnedasidetoaverymerryspirit，oneDickSteele，whoembracedhim，andtoldhimhehadbeenthegreatestmanuponearth;thathereadilyresignedupallthemeritofhisownworkstohim。UponwhichAddisongavehimagracioussmile，and，clappinghimonthebackwithmuchsolemnity，criedout，\"Wellsaid，Dick！\"
IthenobservedShakespearestandingbetweenBettertonandBooth，anddecidingadifferencebetweenthosetwogreatactorsconcerningtheplacinganaccentinoneofhislines：thiswasdisputedonbothsideswithawarmthwhichsurprisedmeinElysium，tillIdiscoveredbyintuitionthateverysoulretaineditsprincipalcharacteristic，being，indeed，itsveryessence。
ThelinewasthatcelebratedoneinOthello——
PUTOUTTHELIGHT，ANDTHENPUTOUTTHELIGHT。accordingtoBetterton。Mr。Boothcontendedtohaveitthus：——
Putoutthelight，andthenputoutTHElight。Icouldnothelpofferingmyconjectureonthisoccasion，andsuggesteditmightperhapsbe——
Putoutthelight，andthenputoutTHYlight。Anotherhintedareadingverysophisticatedinmyopinion——
Putoutthelight，andthenputoutTHEE，light，makinglighttobethevocativecase。Anotherwouldhavealteredthelastword，andread——
PUTOUTTHYLIGHT，ANDTHENPUTOUTTHYSIGHT。ButBettertonsaid，ifthetextwastobedisturbed，hesawnoreasonwhyawordmightnotbechangedaswellasaletter，and，insteadof\"putoutthylight，\"youmayread\"putoutthyeyes。\"AtlastitwasagreedonallsidestoreferthemattertothedecisionofShakespearehimself，whodeliveredhissentimentsasfollows：
\"Faith，gentlemen，itissolongsinceIwrotetheline，Ihaveforgotmymeaning。ThisIknow，couldIhavedreamedsomuchnonsensewouldhavebeentalkedandwritaboutit，Iwouldhaveblotteditoutofmyworks;forIamsure，ifanyofthesebemymeaning，itdothmeverylittlehonor。\"
Hewastheninterrogatedconcerningsomeotherambiguouspassagesinhisworks;buthedeclinedanysatisfactoryanswer;saying，ifMr。Theobaldhadnotwritaboutitsufficiently，therewerethreeorfourmoreneweditionsofhisplayscomingout，whichhehopedwouldsatisfyeveryone：concluding，\"Imarvelnothingsomuchasthatmenwillgirdthemselvesatdiscoveringobscurebeautiesinanauthor。Certesthegreatestandmostpregnantbeautiesareevertheplainestandmostevidentlystriking;andwhentwomeaningsofapassagecanintheleastbalanceourjudgmentswhichtoprefer，Iholditmatterofunquestionablecertaintythatneitherofthemisworthafarthing。\"Fromhisworksourconversationturnedonhismonument;uponwhich，Shakespeare，shakinghissides，andaddressinghimselftoMilton，criedout，\"Onmyword，brotherMilton，theyhavebroughtanoblesetofpoetstogether;theywouldhavebeenhangedersthave[eretheyhad]convenedsuchacompanyattheirtableswhenalive。\"\"True，brother，\"answeredMilton，\"unlesswehadbeenasincapableofeatingthenaswearenow。\"
CHAPTERIX
MoreadventuresinElysium。
Acrowdofspiritsnowjoinedus，whomIsoonperceivedtobetheheroes，whoherefrequentlypaytheirrespectstotheseveralbardstherecordersoftheiractions。InowsawAchillesandUlyssesaddressingthemselvestoHomer，andAeneasandJuliusCaesartoVirgil：AdamwentuptoMilton，uponwhichIwhisperedMr。DrydenthatIthoughtthedevilshouldhavepaidhiscomplimentsthere，accordingtohisopinion。Drydenonlyanswered，\"IbelievethedevilwasinmewhenIsaidso。\"
SeveralappliedthemselvestoShakespeare，amongstwhomHenryV
madeaverydistinguishingappearance。Whilemyeyeswerefixedonthatmonarchaverysmallspiritcameuptome，shookmeheartilybythehand，andtoldmehisnamewasTHOMASTHUMB。I
expressedgreatsatisfactioninseeinghim，norcouldIhelpspeakingmyresentmentagainstthehistorian，whohaddonesuchinjusticetothestatureofthisgreatlittleman，whichherepresentedtobenobiggerthanaspan，whereasIplainlyperceivedatfirstsighthewasfullafootandahalf（andthe37thpartofaninchmore，ashehimselfinformedme），beingindeedlittleshorterthansomeconsiderablebeauxofthepresentage。Iaskedthislittleheroconcerningthetruthofthosestoriesrelatedofhim，viz。，ofthepudding，andthecow’sbelly。Astotheformer，hesaiditwasaridiculouslegend，worthytobelaughedat;butastothelatter，hecouldnothelpowningtherewassometruthinit：norhadheanyreasontobeashamedofit，ashewasswallowedbysurprise;adding，withgreatfierceness，thatifhehadhadanyweaponinhishandthecowshouldhaveassoonswallowedthedevil。
Hespokethelastwordwithsomuchfury，andseemedsoconfounded，that，perceivingtheeffectithadonhim，I
immediatelywaivedthestory，and，passingtoothermatters，wehadmuchconversationtouchinggiants。Hesaid，sofarfromkillingany，hehadneverseenonealive;thathebelievedthoseactionswerebymistakerecordedofhim，insteadofJackthegiant—killer，whomheknewverywell，andwhohad，hefancied，extirpatedtherace。Iassuredhimtothecontrary，andtoldhimIhadmyselfseenahugetamegiant，whoverycomplacentlystayedinLondonawholewinter，atthespecialrequestofseveralgentlemenandladies;thoughtheaffairsofhisfamilycalledhimhometoSweden。
Inowbeheldastern—lookingspiritleaningontheshoulderofanotherspirit，andpresentlydiscernedtheformertobeOliverCromwell，andthelatterCharlesMartel。IownIwasalittlesurprisedatseeingCromwellhere，forIhadbeentaughtbymygrandmotherthathewascarriedawaybythedevilhimselfinatempest;butheassuredme，onhishonor，therewasnottheleasttruthinthatstory。However，heconfessedhehadnarrowlyescapedthebottomlesspit;and，iftheformerpartofhisconducthadnotbeenmoretohishonorthanthelatter，hehadbeencertainlysousedintoit。Hewas，nevertheless，sentbacktotheupperworldwiththislot：——ARMY，CAVALIER，DISTRESS。
Hewasborn，forthesecondtime，thedayofCharlesII’srestoration，intoafamilywhichhadlostaveryconsiderablefortuneintheserviceofthatprinceandhisfather，forwhichtheyreceivedtherewardveryoftenconferredbyprincesonrealmerit，viz。——000。At16hisfatherboughtasmallcommissionforhiminthearmy，inwhichheservedwithoutanypromotionallthereignsofCharlesIIandofhisbrother。AttheRevolutionhequittedhisregiment，andfollowedthefortunesofhisformermaster，andwasinhisservicedangerouslywoundedatthefamousbattleoftheBoyne，wherehefoughtinthecapacityofaprivatesoldier。Herecoveredofthiswound，andretiredaftertheunfortunatekingtoParis，wherehewasreducedtosupportawifeandsevenchildren（forhislothadhornsinit）bycleaningshoesandsnuffingcandlesattheopera。Inwhichsituation，afterhehadspentafewmiserableyears，hediedhalf—starvedandbroken—hearted。HethenrevisitedMinos，who，compassionatinghissufferingsbymeansofthatfamily，towhomhehadbeeninhisformercapacitysobitteranenemy，sufferedhimtoenterhere。
Mycuriositywouldnotrefrainaskinghimonequestion，i。e。，whetherinrealityhehadanydesiretoobtainthecrown？Hesmiled，andsaid，\"Nomorethananecclesiastichathtothemiter，whenhecriesNoloepiscopari。\"Indeed，heseemedtoexpresssomecontemptatthequestion，andpresentlyturnedaway。
Avenerablespiritappearednext，whomIfoundtobethegreathistorianLivy。AlexandertheGreat，whowasjustarrivedfromthepalaceofdeath，passedbyhimwithafrown。Thehistorian，observingit，said，\"Ay，youmayfrown;butthosetroopswhichconqueredthebaseAsiaticslaveswouldhavemadenofigureagainsttheRomans。\"Wethenprivatelylamentedthelossofthemostvaluablepartofhishistory;afterwhichhetookoccasiontocommendthejudiciouscollectionmadebyMr。Hook，which，hesaid，wasinfinitelypreferabletoallothers;andatmymentioningEchard’shegaveabounce，notunlikethegoingoffofasquib，andwasdepartingfromme，whenIbeggedhimtosatisfymycuriosityinonepoint——whetherhewasreallysuperstitiousorno？ForIhadalwaysbelievedhewastillMr。Leibnitzhadassuredmetothecontrary。Heansweredsullenly，\"DothMr。
Leibnitzknowmymindbetterthanmyself？\"andthenwalkedaway。
CHAPTERX
TheauthorissurprisedatmeetingJuliantheapostateinElysium;butissatisfiedbyhimbywhatmeansheprocuredhisentrancethere。Julianrelateshisadventuresinthecharacterofaslave。
AshewasdepartingIheardhimsaluteaspiritbythenameofMr。Juliantheapostate。Thisexceedinglyamazedme;forIhadconcludedthatnomaneverhadabettertitletothebottomlesspitthanhe。ButIsoonfoundthatthissameJuliantheapostatewasalsotheveryindividualarchbishopLatimer。Hetoldmethatseverallieshadbeenraisedonhiminhisformercapacity，norwashesobadamanashehadbeenrepresented。However，hehadbeendeniedadmittance，andforcedtoundergoseveralsubsequentpilgrimagesonearth，andtoactinthedifferentcharactersofaslave，aJew，ageneral，anheir，acarpenter，abeau，amonk，afiddler，awiseman，aking，afool，abeggar，aprince，astatesman，asoldier，atailor，analderman，apoet，aknight，adancing—master，andthreetimesabishop，beforehismartyrdom，which，togetherwithhisotherbehaviorinthislastcharacter，satisfiedthejudge，andprocuredhimapassagetotheblessedregions。
Itoldhimsuchvariouscharactersmusthaveproducedincidentsextremelyentertaining;andifherememberedall，asIsupposedhedid，andhadleisure，Ishouldbeobligedtohimfortherecital。Heansweredheperfectlyrecollectedeverycircumstance;andastoleisure，theonlybusinessofthathappyplacewastocontributetothehappinessofeachother。Hethereforethankedmeforaddingtohis，inproposingtohimamethodofincreasingmine。Ithentookmylittledarlinginonehand，andmyfavoritefellow—travelerintheother，and，goingwithhimtoasunnybankofflowers，weallsatdown，andhebeganasfollows：——\"IsupposeyouaresufficientlyacquaintedwithmystoryduringthetimeIactedthepartoftheemperorJulian，thoughIassureyouallwhichhathbeenrelatedofmeisnottrue，particularlywithregardtothemanyprodigiesforerunningmydeath。However，theyarenowverylittleworthdisputing;andiftheycanserveanypurposeofthehistoriantheyareextremelyathisservice。\"MynextentranceintotheworldwasatLaodicea，inSyria，inaRomanfamilyofnogreatnote;and，beingofarovingdisposition，IcameattheageofseventeentoConstantinople，where，afteraboutayear’sstay，I
setoutforThrace，atthetimewhentheemperorValensadmittedtheGothsintothatcountry。IwastheresocaptivatedwiththebeautyofaGothiclady，thewifeofoneRodoric，acaptain，whosename，outofthemostdelicatetendernessforherlovelysex，Ishallevenatthisdistanceconceal;sinceherbehaviortomewasmoreconsistentwithgood—naturethanwiththatvirtuewhichwomenareobligedtopreserveagainsteveryassailant。InordertoprocureanintimacywiththiswomanIsoldmyselfaslavetoherhusband，who，beingofanationnotover—inclinedtojealousy，presentedmetohiswife，forthoseveryreasonswhichwouldhaveinducedoneofajealouscomplexiontohavewithheldmefromher，namely，forthatIwasyoungandhandsome。
\"Matterssucceededsofaraccordingtomywish，andthesequelansweredthosehopeswhichthisbeginninghadraised。Isoonperceivedmyservicewasveryacceptabletoher;Ioftenmethereyes，nordidshewithdrawthemwithoutaconfusionwhichisscarceconsistentwithentirepurityofheart。Indeed，shegavemeeverydayfreshencouragement;buttheunhappydistancewhichcircumstanceshadplacedbetweenusdeterredmelongfrommakinganydirectattack;andshewastoostrictanobserverofdecorumtoviolatethesevererulesofmodestybyadvancingfirst;butpassionatlastgotthebetterofmyrespect，andIresolvedtomakeoneboldattempt，whateverwastheconsequence。
Accordingly，layingholdofthefirstkindopportunity，whenshewasaloneandmymasterabroad，Istoutlyassailedthecitadelandcarrieditbystorm。WellmayIsaybystorm;fortheresistanceImetwasextremelyresolute，andindeedasmuchasthemostperfectdecencywouldrequire。Shesworeoftenshewouldcryoutforhelp;butIanswereditwasinvain，seeingtherewasnopersonneartoassisther;andprobablyshebelievedme，forshedidnotonceactuallycryout，whichifshehad，I
mightverylikelyhavebeenprevented。
\"Whenshefoundhervirtuethussubduedagainstherwillshepatientlysubmittedtoherfate，andquietlysufferedmealongtimetoenjoythemostdeliciousfruitsofmyvictory;butenviousfortuneresolvedtomakemepayadearpriceformypleasure。Onedayinthemidstofourhappinessweweresuddenlysurprisedbytheunexpectedreturnofherhusband，who，comingdirectlyintohiswife’sapartment，justallowedmetimetocreepunderthebed。Thedisorderinwhichhefoundhiswifemighthavesurprisedajealoustemper;buthiswassofarotherwise，thatpossiblynomischiefmighthavehappenedhadhenotbyacrossaccidentdiscoveredmylegs，whichwerenotwellhid。Heimmediatelydrewmeoutbythem，andthen，turningtohiswifewithasterncountenance，begantohandleaweaponheworebyhisside，withwhichIampersuadedhewouldhaveinstantlydispatchedher，hadInotverygallantly，andwithmanyimprecations，assertedherinnocenceandmyownguilt;which，however，Iprotestedhadhithertogonenofartherthandesign。
Shesowellsecondedmyplea（forshewasawomanofwonderfulart），thathewasatlengthimposedupon;andnowallhisragewasdirectedagainstme，threateningallmanneroftortures，whichthepoorladywasintoogreatafrightandconfusiontodissuadehimfromexecuting;andperhaps，ifherconcernformehadmadeherattemptit，itwouldhaveraisedajealousyinhimnotafterwardstoberemoved。
\"AftersomehesitationRodericcriedouthehadluckilyhitonthemostproperpunishmentformeintheworld，byamethodwhichwouldatoncedoseverejusticeonmeformycriminalintention，andatthesametimepreventmefromanydangerofexecutingmywickedpurposehereafter。Thiscruelresolutionwasimmediatelyexecuted，andIwasnolongerworthythenameofaman。
\"Havingthusdisqualifiedmefromdoinghimanyfutureinjury，hestillretainedmeinhisfamily;butthelady，veryprobablyrepentingofwhatshehaddone，andlookingonmeastheauthorofherguilt，wouldneverforthefuturegivemeeitherakindwordorlook：andshortlyafter，agreatexchangebeingmadebetweentheRomansandtheGothsofdogsformen，myladyexchangedmewithaRomanwidowforasmalllap—dog，givingaconsiderablesumofmoneytoboot。
\"Inthiswidow’sserviceIremainedsevenyears，duringallwhichtimeIwasverybarbarouslytreated。Iwasworkedwithouttheleastmercy，andoftenseverelybeatbyaswingingmaid—servant，whonevercalledmebyanyothernamesthanthoseoftheThingandtheAnimal。ThoughIusedmyutmostindustrytoplease，itneverwasinmypower。NeithertheladynorherwomanwouldeatanythingItouched，sayingtheydidnotbelievemewholesome。Itisunnecessarytorepeatparticulars;inaword，youcanimaginenokindofillusagewhichIdidnotsufferinthisfamily。
\"Atlastanheathenpriest，anacquaintanceofmylady’s，obtainedmeofherforapresent。Thescenewasnowtotallychanged，andIhadasmuchreasontobesatisfiedwithmypresentsituationasIhadtolamentmyformer。Iwassoabsolutelymymaster’sfavorite，thattherestoftheslavespaidmealmostasmuchregardastheyshowedtohim，wellknowingthatitwasentirelyinmypowertocommandandtreatthemasIpleased。I
wasintrustedwithallmymaster’ssecrets，andusedtoassisthiminprivatelyconveyingawaybynightthesacrificesfromthealtars，whichthepeoplebelievedthedeitiesthemselvesdevoured。Uponthesewefeastedveryelegantly，norcouldinventionsuggestararitywhichwedidnotpamperourselveswith。Perhapsyoumayadmireatthecloseunionbetweenthispriestandhisslave，butwelivedinanintimacywhichtheChristiansthoughtcriminal;butmymaster，whoknewthewillofthegods，withwhomhetoldmeheoftenconversed，assuredmeitwasperfectlyinnocent。
\"Thishappylifecontinuedaboutfouryears，whenmymaster’sdeath，occasionedbyasurfeitgotbyoverfeedingonseveralexquisitedainties，putanendtoit。
\"Inowfellintothehandsofoneofaverydifferentdisposition，andthiswasnootherthanthecelebratedSt。
Chrysostom，whodietedmewithsermonsinsteadofsacrifices，andfilledmyearswithgoodthings，butnotmybelly。Insteadofhighfoodtofattenandpampermyflesh，Ihadreceiptstomortifyandreduceit。WiththeseIedifiedsowell，thatwithinafewmonthsIbecameaskeleton。However，ashehadconvertedmetohisfaith，Iwaswellenoughsatisfiedwiththisnewmannerofliving，bywhichhetaughtmeImightinsuremyselfaneternalrewardinafuturestate。Thesaintwasagood—naturedman，andnevergavemeanillwordbutonce，whichwasoccasionedbymyneglectingtoplaceAristophanes，whichwashisconstantbedfellow，onhispillow。Hewas，indeed，extremelyfondofthatGreekpoet，andfrequentlymademereadhiscomediestohim。
WhenIcametoanyoftheloosepassageshewouldsmile，andsay，’Itwaspityhismatterwasnotaspureashisstyle;’ofwhichlatterhewassoimmoderatelyfondthat，notwithstandingthedetestationheexpressedforobscenity，hehathmademerepeatthosepassagestentimesover。Thecharacterofthisgoodmanhathbeenveryunjustlyattackedbyhisheathencontemporaries，particularlywithregardtowomen;buthissevereinvectivesagainstthatsexarehissufficientjustification。
\"Fromtheserviceofthissaint，fromwhomIreceivedmanumission，IenteredintothefamilyofTimasius，aleaderofgreateminenceintheimperialarmy，intowhosefavorIsofarinsinuatedmyselfthathepreferredmetoagoodcommand，andsoonmademepartakerofbothhiscompanyandhissecrets。I
soongrewintoxicatedwiththispreferment，andthemoreheloadedmewithbenefitsthemoreheraisedmyopinionofmyownmerit，which，stilloutstrippingtherewardsheconferredonme，inspiredmeratherwithdissatisfactionthangratitude。Andthus，bypreferringmebeyondmymeritorfirstexpectation，hemademeanenviousaspiringenemy，whomperhapsamoremoderatebountywouldhavepreservedadutifulservant。
\"IfellnowacquaintedwithoneLucilius，acreatureoftheprimeministerEutropius，whohadbyhisfavorbeenraisedtothepostofatribune;amanoflowmorals，andeminentonlyinthatmeanestofqualities，cunning。Thisgentleman，imaginingmeafittoolfortheminister’spurpose，havingoftensoundedmyprinciplesofhonorandhonesty，bothwhichhedeclaredtomewerewordswithoutmeaning，andfindingmyreadyconcurrenceinhissentiments，recommendedmetoEutropiusasverypropertoexecutesomewickedpurposeshehadcontrivedagainstmyfrendTimasius。Theministerembracedthisrecommendation，andIwasaccordinglyacquaintedbyLucilius（aftersomepreviousaccountsofthegreatesteemEutropiusentertainedofme，fromthetestimonyhehadborneofmyparts）thathewouldintroducemetohim;addingthathewasagreatencouragerofmerit，andthatI
mightdependuponhisfavor。
\"Iwaswithlittledifficultyprevailedontoacceptofthisinvitation。Alatehourthereforethenexteveningbeingappointed，IattendedmyfriendLuciliustotheminister’shouse。
Hereceivedmewiththeutmostcivilityandcheerfulness，andaffectedsomuchregardtome，thatI，whoknewnothingofthesehighscenesoflife，concludedIhadinhimamostdisinterestedfriend，owingtothefavorablereportwhichLuciliushadmadeofme。Iwashoweversooncuredofthisopinion;forimmediatelyaftersupperourdiscourseturnedontheinjusticewhichthegeneralityoftheworldwereguiltyofintheirconducttogreatmen，expectingthattheyshouldrewardtheirprivatemerit，withouteverendeavoringtoapplyittotheiruse。’Whatavail，’
saidEutropius，’thelearning，wit，courage，oranyvirtuewhichamanmaybepossessedof，tome，unlessIreceivesomebenefitfromthem？Hathhenotmoremerittomewhodothmybusinessandobeysmycommands，withoutanyofthesequalities？’Igavesuchentiresatisfactioninmyanswersonthishead，thatboththeministerandhiscreaturegrewbolder，andaftersomeprefacebegantoaccuseTimasius。Atlast，findingIdidnotattempttodefendhim，Luciliussworeagreatoaththathewasnotfittolive，andthathewoulddestroyhim。Eutropiusansweredthatitwouldbetoodangerousatask：’Indeed，’sayshe，’hiscrimesareofsoblackadye，andsowellknowntotheemperor，thathisdeathmustbeaveryacceptableservice，andcouldnotfailmeetingaproperreward：butIquestionwhetheryouarecapableofexecutingit。’’Ifheisnot，’criedI，’Iam;andsurelynomancanhavegreatermotivestodestroyhimthanmyself：for，besideshisdisloyaltytomyprince，forwhomIhavesoperfectaduty，Ihaveprivatedisobligationstohim。Ihavehadfellowsputovermyhead，tothegreatscandaloftheserviceingeneral，andtomyownprejudiceanddisappointmentinparticular。’I
willnotrepeatyoumywholespeech;but，tobeasconciseaspossible，whenwepartedthateveningtheministersqueezedmeheartilybythehand，andwithgreatcommendationofmyhonestyandassurancesofhisfavor，heappointedmethenexteveningtocometohimalone;when，findingme，afteralittlemorescrutiny，readyforhispurpose，heproposedtometoaccuseTimasiusofhightreason，promisingmethehighestrewardsifI
wouldundertakeit。Theconsequencetohim，Isupposeyouknow，wasruin;butwhatwasittome？Why，truly，whenIwaitedonEutropiusforthefulfillinghispromises，receivedmewithgreatdistanceandcoldness;and，onmydroppingsomehintsofmyexpectationsfromhim，heaffectednottounderstandme;sayinghethoughtimpunitywastheutmostIcouldhopeforondiscoveringmyaccomplice，whoseoffensewasonlygreaterthanmine，ashewasinahigherstation;andtellingmehehadgreatdifficultytoobtainapardonformefromtheemperor，whichhesaid，hehadstruggledveryhardlyfor，ashehadworkedthediscoveryoutofme。Heturnedaway，andaddressedhimselftoanotherperson。
\"Iwassoincensedatthistreatment，thatIresolvedrevenge，andshouldcertainlyhavepursuedit，hadhenotcautiouslypreventedmebytakingeffectualmeanstodespatchmesoonafteroutoftheworld。
\"Youwill，Ibelieve，nowthinkIhadasecondgoodchanceforthebottomlesspit，andindeedMinosseemedinclinedtotumblemein，tillhewasinformedoftherevengetakenonmebyRoderic，andmysevenyears’subsequentservitudetothewidow;whichhethoughtsufficienttomakeatonementforallthecrimesasinglelifecouldadmitof，andsosentmebacktotrymyfortuneathirdtime。\"
CHAPTERXI
InwhichJulianrelateshisadventuresinthecharacterofanavariciousJew。
\"ThenextcharacterinwhichIwasdestinedtoappearinthefleshwasthatofanavariciousJew。IwasborninAlexandriainEgypt。MynamewasBalthazar。NothingveryremarkablehappenedtometilltheyearofthememorabletumultinwhichtheJewsofthatcityarereportedinhistorytohavemassacredmoreChristiansthanatthattimedweltinit。Indeed，thetruthis，theydidmaulthedogsprettyhandsomely;butImyselfwasnotpresent，forasallourpeoplewereorderedtobearmed，Itookthatopportunityofsellingtwoswords，whichprobablyImightotherwiseneverhavedisposedof，theybeingextremelyoldandrusty;sothat，havingnoweaponleft，Ididnotcaretoventureabroad。Besides，thoughIreallythoughtitanactmeritingsalvationtomurdertheNazarenes，asthefactwastobecommittedatmidnight，atwhichtime，toavoidsuspicion，wewerealltosallyfromourownhouses，Icouldnotpersuademyselftoconsumesomuchoilinsittinguptothathour：forthesereasonsthereforeIremainedathomethatevening。
\"IwasatthistimegreatlyenamoredwithoneHypatia，thedaughterofaphilosopher;ayoungladyofthegreatestbeautyandmerit：indeed，shehadeveryimaginableornamentbothofmindandbody。Sheseemednottodislikemyperson;butthereweretwoobstructionstoourmarriage，viz。，myreligionandherpoverty：bothwhichmightprobablyhavebeengotover，hadnotthosedogstheChristiansmurderedher;and，whatisworse，afterwardsburnedherbody：worse，Isay，becauseIlostbythatmeansajewelofsomevalue，whichIhadpresentedtoher，designing，ifournuptialsdidnottakeplace，todemanditofherbackagain。
\"Beingthusdisappointedinmylove，IsoonafterleftAlexandriaandwenttotheimperialcity，whereIapprehendedIshouldfindagoodmarketforjewelsontheapproachingmarriageoftheemperorwithAthenais。Idisguisedmyselfasabeggaronthisjourney，forthesereasons：first，asIimaginedIshouldthuscarrymyjewelswithgreatersafety;and，secondly，tolessenmyexpenses;whichlatterexpedientsucceededsowell，thatIbeggedtwoobolionmywaymorethanmytravelingcostme，mydietbeingchieflyroots，andmydrinkwater。
\"Butperhaps，ithadbeenbetterformeifIhadbeenmorelavishandmoreexpeditious;fortheceremonywasoverbeforeIreachedConstantinople;sothatIlostthatgloriousopportunityofdisposingofmyjewelswithwhichmanyofourpeopleweregreatlyenriched。
\"Thelifeofamiserisverylittleworthrelating，asitisoneconstantschemeofgettingorsavingmoney。Ishallthereforerepeattoyousomefewonlyofmyadventures，withoutregardtoanyorder。
\"ARomanJew，whowasagreatloverofFalernianwine，andwhoindulgedhimselfveryfreelywithit，cametodineatmyhouse;
when，knowingheshouldmeetwithlittlewine，andthatofthecheapersort，sentmeinhalf—a—dozenjarsofFalernian。CanyoubelieveIwouldnotgivethismanhisownwine？Sir，I
adulterateditsothatImadesixjarsof[them]three，whichheandhisfrienddrank;theotherthreeIafterwardssoldtotheverypersonwhooriginallysentthemme，knowinghewouldgiveabetterpricethananyother。
\"AnobleRomancameonedaytomyhouseinthecountry，whichI
hadpurchased，forhalfthevalue，ofadistressedperson。Myneighborspaidhimthecomplimentofsomemusic，onwhichaccount，whenhedeparted，heleftapieceofgoldwithmetobedistributedamongthem。Ipocketedthismoney，andorderedthemasmallvesselofsourwine，whichIcouldnothavesoldforabovetwodrachms，andafterwardsmadethempayinworkthreetimesthevalueofit。
\"AsIwasnotentirelyvoidofreligion，thoughIpretendedtoinfinitelymorethanIhad，soIendeavoredtoreconcilemytransactionstomyconscienceaswellaspossible。ThusIneverinvitedanyonetoeatwithme，butthoseonwhosepocketsIhadsomedesign。AfterourcollationitwasconstantlymymethodtosetdowninabookIkeptforthatpurpose，whatIthoughttheyowedmefortheirmeal。Indeed，thiswasgenerallyahundredtimesasmuchastheycouldhavedinedelsewherefor;but，however，itwasquidproquo，ifnotadvalorem。Now，whenevertheopportunityofferedofimposingonthemIconsidereditonlyaspayingmyselfwhattheyowedme：indeed，IdidnotalwaysconfinemyselfstrictlytowhatIhadsetdown，howeverextravagantthatwas;butIreconciledtakingtheoverplustomyselfasusance。
\"ButIwasnotonlytoocunningforothers——Isometimesoverreachedmyself。Ihavecontracteddistempersforwantoffoodandwarmth，whichhaveputmetotheexpenseofaphysician;
nay，Ionceverynarrowlyescapeddeathbytakingbaddrugs，onlytosaveoneseven—eighthpercentintheprice。
\"Bytheseandsuchlikemeans，inthemidstofpovertyandeverykindofdistress，Isawmyselfmasterofanimmensefortune，thecastingupandruminatingonwhichwasmydailyandonlypleasure。Thiswas，however，obstructedandembitteredbytwoconsiderations，whichagainstmywillofteninvadedmythoughts。
One，whichwouldhavebeenintolerable（butthatindeedseldomtroubledme），was，thatImustonedayleavemydarlingtreasure。
Theotherhauntedmecontinually，viz。，thatmyricheswerenogreater。However，Icomfortedmyselfagainstthisreflectionbyanassurancethattheywouldincreasedaily：onwhichheadmyhopesweresoextensivethatImaysaywithVirgil——
’Hisegonecmetasrerumnectemporapono。’
IndeedIamconvincedthat，hadIpossessedthewholeglobeofearth，saveonesingledrachma，whichIhadbeencertainnevertobemasterof——Iamconvinced，Isay，thatsingledrachmawouldhavegivenmemoreuneasinessthanalltherestcouldaffordmepleasure。
\"Tosaythetruth，betweenmysolicitudeincontrivingschemestoprocuremoneyandmyextremeanxietyinpreservingit，Ineverhadonemomentofeasewhileawakenorofquietwheninmysleep。
InallthecharactersthroughwhichIhavepassed，IhaveneverundergonehalfthemiseryIsufferedinthis;and，indeed，Minosseemedtobeofthesameopinion;forwhileIstoodtremblingandshakinginexpectationofmysentencehebidmegobackaboutmybusiness，forthatnobodywastobed——n’dinmoreworldsthanone。And，indeed，Ihavesincelearnedthatthedevilwillnotreceiveamiser。\"
CHAPTERXII
WhathappenedtoJulianinthecharactersofageneral，anheir，acarpenter，andabeau。
\"ThenextstepItookintotheworldwasatApollonia，inThrace，whereIwasbornofabeautifulGreekslave，whowasthemistressofEutyches，agreatfavoriteoftheemperorZeno。Thatprince，athisrestoration，gavemethecommandofacohort，Ibeingthenbutfifteenyearsofage;andalittleafterwards，beforeIhadevenseenanarmy，preferredme，overtheheadsofalltheoldofficers，tobeatribune。
\"AsIfoundaneasyaccesstotheemperor，bymeansofmyfather’sintimacywithhim，hebeingaverygoodcourtier——or，inotherwords，amostprostituteflatterer——soIsooningratiatedmyselfwithZeno，andsowellimitatedmyfatherinflatteringhim，thathewouldneverpartwithmefromabouthisperson。SothatthefirstarmedforceIeverbeheldwasthatwithwhichMarciansurroundedthepalace，whereIwasthenshutupwiththerestofthecourt。
\"IwasafterwardsputattheheadofalegionandorderedtomarchintoSyriawithTheodorictheGoth;thatis，Imeanmylegionwassoordered;for，astomyself，Iremainedatcourt，withthenameandpayofageneral，withoutthelabororthedanger。
\"Asnothingcouldbemoregay，i。e。，debauched，thanZeno’scourt，sotheladiesofgaydispositionhadgreatswayinit;
particularlyone，whosenamewasFausta，who，thoughnotextremelyhandsome，wasbyherwitandsprightlinessveryagreeabletotheemperor。WithherIlivedingoodcorrespondence，andwetogetherdisposedofallkindsofcommissionsinthearmy，nottothosewhohadmostmerit，butwhowouldpurchaseatthehighestrate。Myleveewasnowprodigiouslythrongedbyofficerswhoreturnedfromthecampaigns，who，thoughtheymighthavebeenconvincedbydailyexamplehowineffectualarecommendationtheirserviceswere，stillcontinuedindefatigableinattendance，andbehavedtomewithasmuchobservanceandrespectasIshouldhavebeenentitledtoformakingtheirfortunes，whileIsufferedthemandtheirfamiliestostarve。
\"Severalpoets，likewise，addressedversestome，inwhichtheycelebratedmyachievements;andwhat，perhaps，mayseemstrangetousatpresent，Ireceivedallthisincensewithmostgreedyvanity，withoutoncereflectingthat，asIdidnotdeservethesecompliments，theyshouldratherputmeinmindofmydefects。
\"Myfatherwasnowdead，andIbecamesoabsoluteintheemperor’sgracethatoneunacquaintedwithcourtswouldscarcebelievetheservilitywithwhichallkindsofpersonswhoenteredthewallsofthepalacebehavedtowardsme。Abow，asmile，anodfromme，asIpassedthroughcringingcrowds，wereesteemedassignalfavors;butagraciouswordmadeanyonehappy;and，indeed，hadthisrealbenefitattendingit，thatitdrewonthepersononwhomitwasbestowedaverygreatdegreeofrespectfromallothers;fortheseareofcurrentvalueincourts，and，likenotesintradingcommunities，areassignablefromonetotheother。Thesmileofacourtfavoriteimmediatelyraisesthepersonwhoreceivesit，andgivesavaluetohissmilewhenconferredonaninferior：thusthesmileistransferredfromonetotheother，andthegreatmanatlastisthepersontodiscountit。Forinstance，averylowfellowhathadesireforaplace。
Towhomishetoapply？Nottothegreatman;fortohimhehathnoaccess。HethereforeappliestoA，whoisthecreatureofB，whoisthetoolofC，whoistheflattererofD，whoisthecatamiteofE，whoisthepimpofF，whoisthebullyofG，whoisthebuffoonofI，whoisthehusbandofK，whoisthewhoreofL，whoisthebastardofM，whoistheinstrumentofthegreatman。ThusthesmiledescendingregularlyfromthegreatmantoA，isdiscountedbackagain，andatlastpaidbythegreatman。
\"Itismanifestthatacourtwouldsubsistasdifficultlywithoutthiskindofcoinasatradingcitywithoutpapercredit。
Indeed，theydifferinthis，thattheirvalueisnotquitesocertain，andafavoritemayprotesthissmilewithoutthedangerofbankruptcy。
\"Inthemidstofallthisglorytheemperordied，andAnastasiuswaspreferredtothecrown。AsitwasyetuncertainwhetherI
shouldnotcontinueinfavor，Iwasreceivedasusualatmyentranceintothepalacetopaymyrespectstothenewemperor;
butIwasnosoonerrumpedbyhimthanIreceivedthesamecomplimentfromalltherest;thewholeroom，likearegimentofsoldiers，turningtheirbackstomeallatonce：mysmilenowwasbecomeofequalvaluewiththenoteofabrokenbanker，andeveryonewasascautiousnottoreceiveit。
\"Imadeasmuchhasteaspossiblefromthecourt，andshortlyafterfromthecity，retreatingtotheplaceofmynativity，whereIspenttheremainderofmydaysinaretiredlifeinhusbandry，theonlyamusementforwhichIwasqualified，havingneitherlearningnorvirtue。
\"WhenIcametothegateMinosagainseemedatfirstdoubtful，butatlengthdismissedme;sayingthoughIhadbeenguiltyofmanyheinouscrimes，inasmuchasIhad，thoughageneral，neverbeenconcernedinspillinghumanblood，Imightreturnagaintoearth。
\"IwasnowagainborninAlexandria，and，bygreataccident，enteringintothewombofmydaughter—in—law，cameforthmyowngrandson，inheritingthatfortunewhichIhadbeforeamassed。
\"Extravagancewasnowasnotoriouslymyviceasavaricehadbeenformerly;andIspentinaveryshortlifewhathadcostmethelaborofaverylongonetoraketogether。Perhapsyouwillthinkmypresentconditionwasmoretobeenviedthanmyformer：
butuponmyworditwasverylittleso;for，bypossessingeverythingalmostbeforeIdesiredit，IcouldhardlyeversayI
enjoyedmywish：Iscarceeverknewthedelightofsatisfyingacravingappetite。Besides，asIneveroncethought，mymindwasuselesstome，andIwasanabsolutestrangertoallthepleasuresarisingfromit。Nor，indeed，didmyeducationqualifymeforanydelicacyinotherenjoyments;sothatinthemidstofplentyIloathedeverything。TasteforeleganceIhadnone;andthegreatestofcorporealblissesIfeltnomorefromthanthelowestanimal。Inaword，aswhileamiserIhadplentywithoutdaringtouseit，sonowIhaditwithoutappetite。
\"ButifIwasnotveryhappyintheheightofmyenjoyment，soI
afterwardsbecameperfectlymiserable;beingsoonovertakenbydisease，andreducedtodistress，tillatlength，withabrokenconstitutionandbrokenheart，Iendedmywretcheddaysinajail：norcanIthinkthesentenceofMinostoomild，whocondemnedme，afterhavingtakenalargedoseofavarice，towanderthreeyearsonthebanksofCocytus，withtheknowledgeofhavingspentthefortuneinthepersonofthegrandsonwhichI
hadraisedinthatofthegrandfather。
\"Theplaceofmybirth，onmyreturntotheworld，wasConstantinople，wheremyfatherwasacarpenter。ThefirstthingIrememberwas，thetriumphofBelisarius，whichwas，indeed，mostnobleshow;butnothingpleasedmesomuchasthefigureofGelimer，kingoftheAfricanVandals，who，beingledcaptiveonthisoccasion，reflectingwithdisdainonthemutationofhisownfortune，andontheridiculousemptypompoftheconqueror，criedout，VANITY，VANITY，ALLISMEREVANITY。’
\"Iwasbreduptomyfather’strade，andyoumayeasilybelievesolowaspherecouldproducenoadventuresworthyournotice。
However，ImarriedawomanIliked，andwhoprovedaverytolerablewife。Mydayswerepassedinhardlabor，butthisprocuredmehealth，andIenjoyedahomelysupperatnightwithmywifewithmorepleasurethanIapprehendgreaterpersonsfindattheirluxuriousmeals。Mylifehadscarceanyvarietyinit，andatmydeathIadvancedtoMinoswithgreatconfidenceofenteringthegate：butIwasunhappilyobligedtodiscoversomefraudsIhadbeenguiltyofinthemeasureofmyworkwhenI
workedbythefoot，aswellasmylazinesswhenIwasemployedbytheday。Onwhichaccount，whenIattemptedtopass，theangryjudgelaidholdonmebytheshoulders，andturnedmebacksoviolently，that，hadIhadaneckoffleshandbone，Ibelievehewouldhavebrokeit。\"
CHAPTERXIII
Julianpassesintoafop。
\"MysceneofactionwasRome。Iwasbornintoanoblefamily，andheirtoaconsiderablefortune。Onwhichmyparents，thinkingIshouldnotwantanytalents，resolvedverykindlyandwiselytothrownoneawayuponme。TheonlyinstructorsofmyyouthwerethereforeoneSaltator，whotaughtmeseveralmotionsformylegs;andoneFicus，whosebusinesswastoshowmethecleanestway（ashecalledit）ofcuttingoffaman’shead。WhenIwaswellaccomplishedinthesesciences，Ithoughtnothingmorewanting，butwhatwastobefurnishedbytheseveralmechanicsinRome，whodealtindressingandadorningthepope。Beingthereforewellequippedwithallwhichtheirartcouldproduce，I
becameattheageoftwentyacompletefinishedbeau。Andnowduringforty—fiveyearsIdressed，Isanganddanced，anddancedandsang，Ibowedandogled，andogledandbowed，till，inthesixty—sixthyearofmyage，Igotcoldbyoverheatingmyselfwithdancing，anddied。
\"Minostoldme，asIwasunworthyofElysium，soIwastooinsignificanttobedamned，andthereforebademewalkbackagain。\"
CHAPTERXIV
Adventuresinthepersonofamonk。
\"Fortunenowplacedmeinthecharacterofayoungerbrotherofagoodhouse，andIwasinmyyouthsenttoschool;butlearningwasnowatsolowanebb，thatmymasterhimselfcouldhardlyconstrueasentenceofLatin;andasforGreek，hecouldnotreadit。Withverylittleknowledgetherefore，andwithaltogetheraslittlevirtue，Iwassetapartforthechurch，andattheproperagecommencedmonk。Ilivedmanyyearsretiredinacell，alifeveryagreeabletothegloominessofmytemper，whichwasmuchinclinedtodespisetheworld;thatis，inotherwords，toenvyallmenofsuperiorfortuneandqualifications，andingeneraltohateanddetestthehumanspecies。Notwithstandingwhich，I
could，onproperoccasions，submittoflatterthevilestfellowinnature，whichIdidoneStephen，aneunuch，afavoriteoftheemperorJustinianII，oneofthewickedestwretcheswhomperhapstheworldeversaw。Inotonlywroteapanegyriconthisman，butIcommendedhimasapatterntoallothersinmysermons;bywhichmeansIsogreatlyingratiatedmyselfwithhim，thatheintroducedmetotheemperor’spresence，whereIprevailedsofarbythesamemethods，thatIwasshortlytakenfrommycell，andpreferredtoaplaceatcourt。IwasnosoonerestablishedinthefavorofJustinianthanIpromptedhimtoallkindofcruelty。AsIwasofasourmorosetemper，andhatednothingmorethanthesymptomsofhappinessappearinginanycountenance，Irepresentedallkindofdiversionandamusementasthemosthorridsins。Iinveighedagainstcheerfulnessaslevity，andencouragednothingbutgravity，or，toconfessthetruthtoyou，hypocrisy。Theunhappyemperorfollowedmyadvice，andincensedthepeoplebysuchrepeatedbarbarities，thathewasatlastdeposedbythemandbanished。
\"Inowretiredagaintomycell（forhistoriansmistakeinsayingIwasputtodeath），whereIremainedsafefromthedangeroftheirritatedmob，whomIcursedinmyownheartasmuchastheycouldcurseme。
\"Justinian，afterthreeyearsofhisbanishment，returnedtoConstantinopleindisguise，andpaidmeavisit。Iatfirstaffectednottoknowhim，andwithouttheleastcompunctionofgratitudeforhisformerfavors，intendednottoreceivehim，tillathoughtimmediatelysuggesteditselftomehowImightconverthimtomyadvantage，Ipretendedtorecollecthim;and，blamingtheshortnessofmymemoryandbadnessofmyeyes，I
sprungforwardandembracedhimwithgreataffection。
\"MydesignwastobetrayhimtoApsimar，who，Idoubtednot，wouldgenerouslyrewardsuchaservice。Ithereforeveryearnestlyrequestedhimtospendthewholeeveningwithme;towhichheconsented。Iformedanexcuseforleavinghimafewminutes，andranawaytothepalacetoacquaintApsimarwiththeguestwhomIhadtheninmycell。Hepresentlyorderedaguardtogowithmeandseizehim;but，whetherthelengthofmystaygavehimanysuspicion，orwhetherhechangedhispurposeaftermydeparture，Iknownot;foratmyreturnwefoundhehadgivenustheslip;norcouldwewiththemostdiligentsearchdiscoverhim。
\"Apsimar，beingdisappointedofhisprey，nowragedatme;atfirstdenouncingthemostdreadfulvengeanceifIdidnotproducethedeposedmonarch。However，bysoothinghispassionwhenatthehighest，andafterwardsbycantingandflattery，Imadeashifttoescapehisfury。
\"WhenJustinianwasrestoredIveryconfidentlywenttowishhimjoyofhisrestoration：butitseemshehadunfortunatelyheardofmytreachery，sothatheatfirstreceivedmecoldly，andafterwardsupbraidedmeopenlywithwhatIhaddone。I
perseveredstoutlyindenyingit，asIknewnoevidencecouldbeproducedagainstme;till，findinghimirreconcilable，Ibetookmyselftorevilinghiminmysermons，andoneveryotheroccasion，asanenemytothechurchandgoodmen，andasaninfidel，aheretic，anatheist，aheathen，andanArian。ThisI
didimmediatelyonhisreturn，andbeforehegavethoseflagrantproofsofhisinhumanitywhichafterwardssufficientlyverifiedallIhadsaid。
\"LuckilyIdiedonthesamedaywhenagreatnumberofthoseforceswhichJustinianhadsentagainsttheThracianBosphorus，andwhohadexecutedsuchunheard—ofcrueltiesthere，perished。
Aseveryoneofthesewascastintothebottomlesspit，Minoswassotiredwithcondemnation，thatheproclaimedthatallpresentwhohadnotbeenconcernedinthatbloodyexpeditionmight，iftheypleased，returntotheotherworld。Itookhimathisword，and，presentlyturningabout，beganmyjourney。\"
CHAPTERXV
Julianpassesintothecharacterofafiddler。
\"Romewasnowtheseatofmynativity。MymotherwasanAfrican，awomanofnogreatbeauty，butafavorite，Isupposefromherpiety，ofpopeGregoryII。WhowasmyfatherIknownot，butI
believenoveryconsiderableman;forafterthedeathofthatpope，whowas，outofhisreligion，averygoodfriendofmymother，wefellintogreatdistress，andwereatlengthreducedtowalkthestreetsofRome;norhadeitherofusanyothersupportbutafiddle，onwhichIplayedwithprettytolerableskill;for，asmygeniusturnednaturallytomusic，soIhadbeeninmyyouthveryearlyinstructedattheexpenseofthegoodpope。Thisaffordedusbutaverypoorlivelihood：for，thoughIhadoftenanumerouscrowdofhearers，feweverthoughtthemselvesobligedtocontributethesmallestpittancetothepoorstarvingwretchwhohadgiventhempleasure。Nay，someofthegraversort，afteranhour’sattentiontomymusic，havegoneawayshakingtheirheads，andcryingitwasashamesuchvagabondsweresufferedtostayinthecity。
\"Tosaythetruth，Iamconfidentthefiddlewouldnothavekeptusalivehadweentirelydependedonthegenerosityofmyhearers。Mymotherthereforewasforcedtouseherownindustry;
andwhileIwassoothingtheearsofthecrowd，sheappliedtotheirpockets，andthatgenerallywithsuchgoodsuccessthatwenowbegantoenjoyaverycomfortablesubsistence;andindeed，hadwehadtheleastprudenceorforecast，mighthavesoonacquiredenoughtoenableustoquitthisdangerousanddishonorablewayoflife：butIknownotwhatisthereasonthatmoneygotwithlaborandsafetyisconstantlypreserved，whiletheproduceofdangerandeaseiscommonlyspentaseasily，andoftenaswickedly，asacquired。Thusweproportionedourexpensesratherbywhatwehadthanwhatwewantedorevendesired;andonobtainingaconsiderablebootywehaveevenforcednatureintothemostprofligateextravagance，andhavebeenwickedwithoutinclination。
\"Wecarriedonthismethodofthieveryforalongtimewithoutdetection：but，asFortunegenerallyleavespersonsofextraordinaryingenuityinthelurchatlast，sodidsheus;formypoormotherwastakeninthefact，and，togetherwithmyself，asheraccomplice，hurriedbeforeamagistrate。
\"Luckilyforus，thepersonwhowastobeourjudgewasthegreatestloverofmusicinthewholecity，andhadoftensentformetoplaytohim，forwhich，ashehadgivenmeverysmallrewards，perhapshisgratitudenowmovedhim：but，whateverwashismotive，hebrowbeattheinformersagainstus，andtreatedtheirevidencewithsolittlefavor，thattheirmouthsweresoonstopped，andwedismissedwithhonor;acquitted，Ishouldratherhaveitsaid，forwewerenotsufferedtodeparttillIhadgiventhejudgeseveraltunesonthefiddle。
\"Weescapedthebetteronthisoccasionbecausethepersonrobbedhappenedtobeapoet;whichgavethejudge，whowasafacetiousperson，manyopportunitiesofjesting。Hesaidpoetsandmusiciansshouldagreetogether，seeingtheyhadmarriedsisters;
whichheafterwardsexplainedtobethesisterarts。Andwhenthepieceofgoldwasproducedheburstintoaloudlaugh，andsaiditmustbethegoldenage，whenpoetshadgoldintheirpockets，andinthatagetherecouldbenorobbers。Hemademanymorejestsofthesamekind，butasmalltastewillsuffice。
\"Itisacommonsayingthatmenshouldtakewarningbyanysignaldelivery;butIcannotapprovethejusticeofit;fortomeitseemsthattheacquittalofaguiltypersonshouldratherinspirehimwithconfidence，andithadthiseffectonus：forwenowlaughedatthelaw，anddespiseditspunishments，whichwefoundweretobeescapedevenagainstpositiveevidence。Weimaginedthelateexamplewasratherawarningtotheaccuserthanthecriminal，andaccordinglyproceededinthemostimpudentandflagitiousmanner。
\"Amongotherrobberies，onenight，beingadmittedbytheservantsintothehouseofanopulentpriest，mymothertookanopportunity，whilsttheservantsweredancingtomytunes，toconveyawayasilvervessel;thisshedidwithouttheleastsacrilegiousintention;butitseemsthecup，whichwasaprettylargeone，wasdedicatedtoholyuses，andonlyborrowedbythepriestonanentertainmentwhichhemadeforsomeofhisbrethren。Wewereimmediatelypursueduponthisrobbery（thecupbeingtakeninourpossession），andcarriedbeforethesamemagistrate，whohadbeforebehavedtouswithsomuchgentleness：
buthiscountenancewasnowchanged，forthemomentthepriestappearedagainstus，hisseveritywasasremarkableashiscandorhadbeenbefore，andwewerebothorderedtobestrippedandwhippedthroughthestreets。
\"Thissentencewasexecutedwithgreatseverity，thepriesthimselfattendingandencouragingtheexecutioner，whichhesaidhedidforthegoodofoursouls;but，thoughourbackswerebothflayed，neithermymother’stormentsnormyownafflictedmesomuchastheindignityofferedtomypoorfiddle，whichwascarriedintriumphbeforeme，andtreatedwithacontemptbythemultitude，intimatingagreatscornforthescienceIhadthehonortoprofess;which，asitisoneofthenoblestinventionsofmen，andasIhadbeenalwaysinthehighestdegreeproudofmyexcellenceinit，Isufferedsomuchfromtheill—treatmentmyfiddlereceived，thatIwouldhavegivenallmyremainderofskintohavepreserveditfromthisaffront。
\"Mymothersurvivedthewhippingaveryshorttime;andIwasnowreducedtogreatdistressandmisery，tillayoungRomanofconsiderableranktookafancytome，receivedmeintohisfamily，andconversedwithmeintheutmostfamiliarity。Hehadaviolentattachmenttomusic，andwouldlearntoplayonthefiddle;but，throughwantofgeniusforthescience，henevermadeanyconsiderableprogress。However，Iflatteredhisperformance，andhegrewextravagantlyfondofmeforsodoing。
HadIcontinuedthisbehaviorImightpossiblyhavereapedthegreatestadvantagesfromhiskindness;butIhadraisedhisownopinionofhismusicalabilitiessohigh，thathenowbegantopreferhisskilltomine，apresumptionIcouldnotbear。Onedayaswewereplayinginconcerthewashorriblyout;norwasitpossible，ashedestroyedtheharmony，toavoidtellinghimofit。Insteadofreceivingmycorrection，heanswereditwasmyblunderandnothis，andthatIhadmistakenthekey。Suchanaffrontfrommyownscholarwasbeyondhumanpatience;Iflewintoaviolentpassion，Iflungdownmyinstrumentinarage，andsworeIwasnottobetaughtmusicatmyage。Heanswered，withasmuchwarmth，norwashetobeinstructedbyastrollingfiddler。Thedisputeendedinachallengetoplayaprizebeforejudges。Thiswagerwasdeterminedinmyfavor;butthepurchasewasadearone，forIlostmyfriendbyit，whonow，twittingmewithallhiskindness，withmyformerignominiouspunishment，andthedestituteconditionfromwhichIhadbeenbyhisbountyrelieved，discardedmeforever。
\"WhileIlivedwiththisgentlemanIbecameknown，amongothers，toSabina，aladyofdistinction，andwhovaluedherselfmuchonhertasteformusic。Shenosoonerheardofmybeingdiscardedthanshetookmeintoherhouse，whereIwasextremelywellclothedandfed。Notwithstandingwhich，mysituationwasfarfromagreeable;forIwasobligedtosubmittoherconstantreprehensionsbeforecompany，whichgavemethegreateruneasinessbecausetheywerealwayswrong;noramIcertainthatshedidnotbytheseprovocationscontributetomydeath：for，asexperiencehadtaughtmetogiveupmyresentmenttomybread，somypassions，forwantofoutwardvent，preyedinwardlyonmyvitals，andperhapsoccasionedthedistemperofwhichIsickened。
\"Thelady，who，amidstallthefaultsshefound，wasveryfondofme，nay，probablywasthefonderofmethemorefaultsshefound，immediatelycalledintheaidofthreecelebratedphysicians。
Thedoctors（beingwellfee’d）mademesevenvisitsinthreedays，andtwoofthemwereatthedoortovisitmetheeighthtime，when，beingacquaintedthatIwasjustdead，theyshooktheirheadsanddeparted。
\"WhenIcametoMinosheaskedmewithasmilewhetherIhadbroughtmyfiddlewithme;and，receivingananswerinthenegative，hebidmegetaboutmybusiness，sayingitwaswellformethatthedevilwasnoloverofmusic。\"
CHAPTERXVI
Thehistoryofthewiseman。
\"InowreturnedtoRome，butinaverydifferentcharacter。
Fortunehadnowallottedmeaseriousparttoact。Ihadeveninmyinfancyagravedisposition，norwasIeverseentosmile，whichinfusedanopinionintoallaboutmethatIwasachildofgreatsolidity;someforeseeingthatIshouldbeajudge，andothersabishop。Attwoyearsoldmyfatherpresentedmewitharattle，whichIbroketopieceswithgreatindignation。Thisthegoodparent，beingextremelywise，regardedasaneminentsymptomofmywisdom，andcriedoutinakindofecstasy，’Wellsaid，boy！Iwarrantthoumakestagreatman。’
\"AtschoolIcouldneverbepersuadedtoplaywithmymates;notthatIspentmyhoursinlearning，towhichIwasnotintheleastaddicted，norindeedhadIanytalentsforit。However，thesolemnityofmycarriagewonsomuchonmymaster，whowasamostsagaciousperson，thatIwashischieffavorite，andmyexampleonalloccasionswasrecommendedtotheotherboys，whichfilledthemwithenvy，andmewithpleasure;but，thoughtheyenviedme，theyallpaidmethatinvoluntaryrespectwhichitisthecurseattendingthispassiontobeartowardsitsobject。
\"Ihadnowobtaineduniversallythecharacterofaverywiseyoungman，whichIdidnotaltogetherpurchasewithoutpains;fortherestraintIlaidonmyselfinabstainingfromtheseveraldiversionsadaptedtomyyearscostmemanyayearning;butthepridewhichIinwardlyenjoyedinthefancieddignityofmycharactermademesomeamends。
\"ThusIpassedon，withoutanythingverymemorablehappeningtome，tillIarrivedattheageoftwenty—three，whenunfortunatelyIfellacquaintedwithayoungNeapolitanladywhosenamewasAriadne。Herbeautywassoexquisitethatherfirstsightmadeaviolentimpressiononme;thiswasagainimprovedbyherbehavior，whichwasmostgenteel，easy，andaffable：lastly，herconversationcompletedtheconquest。Inthisshediscoveredastrongandlivelyunderstanding，withthesweetestandmostbenigntemper。ThislovelycreaturewasabouteighteenwhenI
firstunhappilybeheldheratRome，onavisittoarelationwithwhomIhadgreatintimacy。Asourinterviewsatfirstwereextremelyfrequent，mypassionswerecaptivatedbeforeI
apprehendedtheleastdanger;andthesoonerprobably，astheyoungladyherself，towhomIconsultedeverymethodofrecommendation，wasnotdispleasedwithmybeingheradmirer。
\"Ariadne，havingspentthreemonthsatRome，nowreturnedtoNaples，bearingmyheartwithher：ontheotherhand，Ihadalltheassurancesconsistentwiththeconstraintunderwhichthemostperfectmodestylaysayoungwoman，thatherownheartwasnotentirelyunaffected。Isoonfoundherabsencegavemeanuneasinessnoteasytobeborneortoremove。Inowfirstappliedtodiversions（ofthegraversort，particularlytomusic），butinvain;theyratherraisedmydesiresandheightenedmyanguish。Mypassionatlengthgrewsoviolent，thatIbegantothinkofsatisfyingit。Asthefirststeptothis，I
cautiouslyinquiredintothecircumstancesofAriadne’sparents，withwhichIwashithertounacquainted：though，indeed，Ididnotapprehendtheywereextremelygreat，notwithstandingthehandsomeappearanceoftheirdaughteratRome。Uponexamination，herfortuneexceededmyexpectation，butwasnotsufficienttojustifymymarriagewithher，intheopinionofthewiseandprudent。Ihadnowaviolentstrugglebetweenwisdomandhappiness，inwhich，afterseveralgrievouspangs，wisdomgotthebetter。Icouldbynomeansprevailwithmyselftosacrificethatcharacterofprofoundwisdom，whichIhadwithsuchuniformconductobtained，andwithsuchcautionhithertopreserved。I
thereforeresolvedtoconquermyaffection，whateveritcostme;
andindeeditdidnotcostmealittle。
\"WhileIwasengagedinthisconflict（foritlastedalongtime）
AriadnereturnedtoRome：herpresencewasaterribleenemytomywisdom，whicheveninherabsencehadwithgreatdifficultystooditsground。Itseems（asshehathsincetoldmeinElysiumwithmuchmerriment）Ihadmadethesameimpressionsonherwhichshehadmadeonme。Indeed，Ibelievemywisdomwouldhavebeentotallysubduedbythissurprise，haditnotcunninglysuggestedtomeamethodofsatisfyingmypassionwithoutdoinganyinjurytomyreputation。Thiswasbyengagingherprivatelyasamistress，whichwasatthattimereputableenoughatRome，providedtheaffairwasmanagedwithanairofslynessandgravity，thoughthesecretwasknowntothewholecity。
\"Iimmediatelysetaboutthisproject，andemployedeveryartandenginetoeffectit。Ihadparticularlybribedherpriest，andanoldfemaleacquaintanceanddistantrelationofhers，intomyinterest：butallwasinvain;hervirtueopposedthepassioninherbreastasstronglyaswisdomhadopposeditinmine。Shereceivedmyproposalswiththeutmostdisdain，andpresentlyrefusedtoseeorhearfrommeanymore。
\"ShereturnedagaintoNaples，andleftmeinaworseconditionthanbefore。MydaysInowpassedwiththemostirksomeuneasiness，andmynightswererestlessandsleepless。Thestoryofouramourwasnowprettypublic，andtheladiestalkedofourmatchascertain;butmyacquaintancedeniedtheirassent，saying，’No，no，heistoowisetomarrysoimprudently。’Thistheiropiniongaveme，Iown，verygreatpleasure;but，tosaythetruth，scarcecompensatedthepangsIsufferedtopreserveit。
\"Oneday，whileIwasbalancingwithmyself，andhadalmostresolvedtoenjoymyhappinessatthepriceofmycharacter，afriendbroughtmewordthatAriadnewasmarried。Thisnewsstruckmetothesoul;andthoughIhadresolutionenoughtomaintainmygravitybeforehim（forwhichIsufferednotalittlethemore），themomentIwasaloneIthrewmyselfintothemostviolentfitofdespair，andwouldwillinglyhavepartedwithwisdom，fortune，andeverythingelse，tohaveretrievedher;butthatwasimpossible，andIhadnownothingbuttimetohopeacurefrom。Thiswasverytediousinperformingit，andthelongerasAriadnehadmarriedaRomancavalier，wasnowbecomemynearneighbor，andIhadthemortificationofseeinghermakethebestofwives，andofhavingthehappinesswhichIhadlost，everydaybeforemyeyes。
\"IfIsufferedsomuchonaccountofmywisdominhavingrefusedAriadne，Iwasnotmuchmoreobligedtoitforprocuringmearichwidow，whowasrecommendedtomebyanoldfriendasaveryprudentmatch;and，indeed，soitwas，herfortunebeingsuperiortomineinthesameproportionasthatofAriadnehadbeeninferior。Ithereforeembracedthisproposal，andmycharacterofwisdomsoonpleadedsoeffectuallyformewiththewidow，whowasherselfawomanofgreatgravityanddiscretion，thatIsoonsucceeded;andassoonasdecencywouldpermit（ofwhichthisladywasthestrictestobserver）weweremarried，beingtheseconddayofthesecondweekofthesecondyearafterherhusband’sdeath;forshesaidshethoughtsomeperiodoftimeabovetheyearhadagreatairofdecorum。