CHAPTERXXII
WhathappenedtoJulianinthepersonofatailor。
\"Fortunenowstationedmeinacharacterwhichtheingratitudeofmankindhathputthemonridiculing，thoughtheyowetoitnotonlyarelieffromtheinclemenciesofcold，towhichtheywouldotherwisebeexposed，butlikewiseaconsiderablesatisfactionoftheirvanity。ThecharacterImeanwasthatofatailor;which，ifweconsideritwithdueattention，mustbeconfessedtohaveinitgreatdignityandimportance。For，inreality，whoconstitutesthedifferentdegreesbetweenmenbutthetailor？theprinceindeedgivesthetitle，butitisthetailorwhomakestheman。Tohislaborsareowingtherespectofcrowds，andtheawewhichgreatmeninspireintotheirbeholders，thoughthesearetoooftenunjustlyattributedtoothermotives。Lastly，theadmirationofthefairismostcommonlytobeplacedtohisaccount。
\"IwasjustsetupinmytradewhenImadethreesuitsoffineclothesforkingStephen’scoronation。Iquestionwhetherthepersonwhowearstherichcoathathsomuchpleasureandvanityinbeingadmiredinit，aswetailorshavefromthatadmiration;
andperhapsaphilosopherwouldsayheisnotsowellentitledtoit。Ibustledonthedayoftheceremonythroughthecrowd，anditwaswithincredibledelightIheardseveralsay，asmyclotheswalkedby，’Blessme，waseveranythingsofineastheearlofDevonshire？SureheandSirHughBigotarethetwobestdressedmenIeversaw。’Nowboththosesuitswereofmymaking。
\"Therewouldindeedbeinfinitepleasureinworkingforthecourtiers，astheyaregenerallygenteelmen，andshowone’sclothestothebestadvantage，wasitnotforonesmalldiscouragement;thisis，thattheyneverpay。Isolemnlyprotest，thoughIlostalmostasmuchbythecourtinmylifeasIgotbythecity，InevercarriedasuitintothelatterwithhalfthesatisfactionwhichIhavedonetotheformer;thoughfromthatIwascertainofreadymoney，andfromthisalmostascertainofnomoneyatall。
\"Courtiersmay，however，bedividedintotwosorts，veryessentiallydifferentfromeachother;intothosewhoneverintendtopayfortheirclothes;andthosewhodointendtopayforthem，butneverhappentobeable。Ofthelattersortaremanyofthoseyounggentlemenwhomweequipoutforthearmy，andwhoare，unhappilyforus，cutoffbeforetheyarriveatpreferment。Thisisthereasonthattailors，intimeofwar，aremistakenforpoliticiansbytheirinquisitivenessintotheeventofbattles，onecampaignveryoftenprovingtheruinofhalf—a—dozenofus。IamsureIhadfrequentreasontocursethatfatalbattleofCardigan，wheretheWelshdefeatedsomeofkingStephen’sbesttroops，andwheremanyagoodsuitofmineunpaidfor，felltotheground。
\"ThegentlemenofthishonorablecallinghavefaredmuchbetterinlateragesthanwhenIwasofit;fornowitseemsthefashionis，whentheyapprehendtheircustomerisnotinthebestcircumstances，iftheyarenotpaidassoonastheycarryhomethesuit，theychargehimintheirbookasmuchagainasitisworth，andthensendagentlemanwithasmallscripofparchmenttodemandthemoney。Ifthisbenotimmediatelypaidthegentlemantakesthebeauwithhimtohishouse，wherehelockshimuptillthetailoriscontented：butinmytimethesescripsofparchmentwerenotinuse;andifthebeaudislikedpayingforhisclothes，asveryoftenhappened，wehadnomethodofcompellinghim。
\"InseveralofthecharacterswhichIhaverelatedtoyou，I
apprehendIhavesometimesforgotmyself，andconsideredmyselfasreallyinterestedasIwaswhenIpersonatedthemonearth。I
havejustnowcaughtmyselfinthefact;forIhavecomplainedtoyouasbitterlyofmycustomersasIformerlyusedtodowhenI
wasthetailor：butinreality，thoughthereweresomefewpersonsofverygreatquality，andsomeothers，whoneverpaidtheirdebts，yetthosewerebutafew，andIhadamethodofrepairingthisloss。MycustomersIdividedunderthreeheads：
thosewhopaidreadymoney，thosewhopaidslow，andthosewhoneverpaidatall。ThefirstoftheseIconsideredapartbythemselves，aspersonsbywhomIgotacertainbutsmallprofit。
ThetwolastIlumpedtogether，makingthosewhopaidslowcontributetorepairmylossesbythosewhodidnotpayatall。
Thus，uponthewhole，Iwasaveryinconsiderableloser，andmighthaveleftafortunetomyfamily，hadInotlaunchedforthintoexpenseswhichswallowedupallmygains。Ihadawifeandtwochildren。TheseindeedIkeptfrugallyenough，forIhalfstarvedthem;butIkeptamistressinafinerway，forwhomI
hadacountry—house，pleasantlysituatedontheThames，elegantlyfittedupandneatlyfurnished。Thiswomanmightveryproperlybecalledmymistress，forshewasmostabsolutelyso;andthoughhertenurewasnohigherthanbymywill，shedomineeredastyrannicallyasifmychainshadbeenrivetedinthestrongestmanner。ToallthisIsubmitted，notthroughanyadorationofherbeauty，whichwasindeedbutindifferent。Hercharmsconsistedinlittlewantonnesses，whichsheknewadmirablywelltouseinhoursofdalliance，andwhich，Ibelieve，areofallthingsthemostdelightfultoalover。
\"Shewassoprofuselyextravagant，thatitseemedasifshehadanactualintenttoruinme。ThisIamsureof，ifsuchhadbeenherrealintention，shecouldhavetakennopropererwaytoaccomplishit;nay，Imyselfmightappeartohavehadthesameview：for，besidesthisextravagantmistressandmycountry—house，Ikeptlikewiseabraceofhunters，ratherforthatitwasfashionablesotodothanforanygreatdelightI
tookinthesport，whichIverylittleattended;notforwantofleisure，forfewnoblemenhadsomuch。AlltheworkIeverdidwastakingmeasure，andthatonlyofmygreatestandbestcustomers。Iscareevercutapieceofclothinmylife，norwasindeedmuchmoreabletofashionacoatthananygentlemaninthekingdom。Thismadeaskillfulservanttoonecessarytome。HeknewImustsubmittoanytermswith，oranytreatmentfrom，him。
Heknewitwaseasierforhimtofindanothersuchatailorasmethanformetoprocuresuchanotherworkmanashim：forthisreasonheexertedthemostnotoriousandcrueltyranny，seldomgivingmeacivilword;norcouldtheutmostcondescensiononmyside，thoughattendedwithcontinualpresentsandrewards，andraisinghiswages，contentorpleasehim。Inaword，hewasasabsolutelymymasteraswaseveranambitious，industriousprimeministeroveranindolentandvoluptuousking。Allmyotherjourneymenpaidmorerespecttohimthantome;fortheyconsideredmyfavorasanecessaryconsequenceofobtaininghis。
\"ThesewerethemostremarkableoccurrenceswhileIactedthispart。Minoshesitatedafewmoments，andthenbidmegetbackagain，withoutassigninganyreason。\"
CHAPTERXXIII
ThelifeofaldermanJulian。
\"InowrevisitedEngland，andwasbornatLondon。Myfatherwasoneofthemagistratesofthatcity。Hehadelevenchildren，ofwhomIwastheeldest。Hehadgreatsuccessintrade，andgrewextremelyrich，butthelargenessofhisfamilyrendereditimpossibleforhimtoleavemeafortunesufficienttolivewellonindependentofbusiness。Iwasaccordinglybroughtuptobeafishmonger，inwhichcapacityImyselfafterwardsacquiredveryconsiderablewealth。
\"Thesamedispositionofmindwhichinprincesiscalledambitionisinsubjectsnamedfaction。TothistemperIwasgreatlyaddictedfrommyyouth。Iwas，whileaboy，agreatpartisanofprinceJohn’sagainsthisbrotherRichard，duringthelatter’sabsenceintheholywarandinhiscaptivity。Iwasnomorethanone—and—twentywhenIfirstbegantomakepoliticalspeechesinpublic，andtoendeavortofomentdisquietudeanddiscontentinthecity。AsIwasprettywellqualifiedforthisoffice，byagreatfluencyofwords，anharmoniousaccent，agracefuldelivery，andaboveallaninvincibleassurance，Ihadsoonacquiredsomereputationamongtheyoungercitizens，andsomeoftheweakerandmoreinconsiderateofariperage。This，co—operatingwithmyownnaturalvanity，mademeextravagantlyproudandsupercilious。Isoonbegantoesteemmyselfamanofsomeconsequence，andtooverlookpersonseverywaymysuperiors。
\"ThefamousRobinHood，andhiscompanionLittleJohn，atthistimemadeaconsiderablefigureinYorkshire。Itookuponmetowritealettertotheformer，inthenameofthecity，invitinghimtocometoLondon，whereIassuredhimofverygoodreception，signifyingtohimmyowngreatweightandconsequence，andhowmuchIhaddisposedthecitizensinhisfavor。WhetherhereceivedthisletterornoIamnotcertain;buthenevergavemeanyanswertoit。
\"AlittleafterwardsoneWilliamFitz—Osborn，or，ashewasnicknamed，WilliamLong—Beard，begantomakeafigureinthecity。Hewasaboldandanimpudentfellow，andhadraisedhimselftogreatpopularitywiththerabble，bypretendingtoespousetheircauseagainsttherich。Itookthisman’spart，andmadeapublicorationinhisfavor，settinghimforthasapatriot，andonewhohadembarkedinthecauseofliberty：forwhichservicehedidnotreceivemewiththeacknowledgmentsI
expected。However，asIthoughtIshouldeasilygaintheascendantoverthisfellow，Icontinuedstillfirmonhisside，tillthearchbishopofCanterbury，withanarmedforce，putanendtohisprogress：forhewasseizedinBowchurch，wherehehadtakenrefuge，andwithnineofhisaccompliceshangedinchains。
\"Iescapednarrowlymyself;forIwasseizedinthesamechurchwiththerest，and，asIhadbeenveryconsiderablyengagedintheenterprise，thearchbishopwasinclinedtomakemeanexample;butmyfather’smerit，whohadadvancedaconsiderablesumtoqueenEleanortowardstheking’sransom，preservedme。
\"Theconsternationmydangerhadoccasionedkeptmesometimequiet，andIappliedmyselfveryassiduouslytomytrade。I
inventedallmannerofmethodstoenhancethepriceoffish，andmadeuseofmyutmostendeavorstoengrossasmuchofthebusinessaspossibleinmyownhands。BythesemeansIacquiredasubstancewhichraisedmetosomelittleconsequenceinthecity，butfarfromelevatingmetothatdegreewhichIhadformerlyflatteredmyselfwithpossessingatatimewhenIwastotallyinsignificant;for，inatradingsociety，moneymustatleastlaythefoundationofallpowerandinterest。
\"ButasithathbeenremarkedthatthesameambitionwhichsentAlexanderintoAsiabringsthewrestleronthegreen;andasthissameambitionisasincapableasquicksilveroflyingstill;soI，whowaspossessedperhapsofashareequaltowhathathfiredthebloodofanyoftheheroesofantiquity，wasnolessrestlessanddiscontentedwitheaseandquiet。Myfirstendeavorsweretomakemyselfheadofmycompany，whichRichardIhadjustpublished，andsoonafterwardsIprocuredmyselftobechosenalderman。
\"OppositionistheonlystatewhichcangiveasubjectanopportunityofexertingthedispositionIwaspossessedof。
Accordingly，kingJohnwasnosoonerseatedonhisthronethanI
begantoopposehismeasures，whetherrightorwrong。Itistruethatmonarchhadfaultsenow。Hewassoabandonedtolustandluxury，thatheaddictedhimselftothemostextravagantexcessesinboth，whileheindolentlysufferedthekingofFrancetorobhimofalmostallhisforeigndominions：myoppositionthereforewasjustifiableenough，andifmymotivefromwithinhadbeenasgoodastheoccasionfromwithoutIshouldhavehadlittletoexcuse;but，intruth，Isoughtnothingbutmyownpreferment，bymakingmyselfformidabletotheking，andthensellingtohimtheinterestofthatpartybywhosemeansIhadbecomeso。Indeed，hadthepublicgoodbeenmycare，howeverzealouslyImighthaveopposedthebeginningofhisreign，IshouldnothavescrupledtolendhimmyutmostassistanceinthisstrugglebetweenhimandpopeInnocentthethird，inwhichhewassomanifestlyintheright;norhavesufferedtheinsolenceofthatpope，andthepowerofthekingofFrance，tohavecompelledhimintheissue，baselytoresignhiscrownintothehandsoftheformer，andreceiveitagainasavassal;bymeansofwhichacknowledgmentthepopeafterwardsclaimedthiskingdomasatributaryfieftobeheldofthepapalchair;aclaimwhichoccasionedgreatuneasinesstomanysubsequentprinces，andbroughtnumberlesscalamitiesonthenation。
\"Asthekinghad，amongotherconcessions，stipulatedtopayanimmediatesumofmoneytoPandulph，whichhehadgreatdifficultytoraise，itwasabsolutelynecessaryforhimtoapplytothecity，wheremyinterestandpopularityweresohighthathehadnohopeswithoutmyassistance。AsIknewthis，Itookcaretosellmyselfandcountryashighaspossible。ThetermsI
demanded，therefore，wereaplace，apension，andaknighthood。
Allthosewereimmediatelyconsentedto。Iwasforthwithknighted，andpromisedtheothertwo。
\"Inowmountedthehustings，and，withoutanyregardtodecencyormodesty，madeasemphaticalaspeechinfavorofthekingasbeforeIhaddoneagainsthim。InthisspeechIjustifiedallthosemeasureswhichIhadbeforecondemned，andpleadedasearnestlywithmyfellow—citizenstoopentheirpurses，asIhadformerlydonetoprevailwiththemtokeepthemshut。But，alas！
myrhetorichadnottheeffectIproposed。Theconsequenceofmyargumentswasonlycontempttomyself。Thepeopleatfirststaredononeanother，andafterwardsbeganunanimouslytoexpresstheirdislike。Animpudentfellowamongthem，reflectingonmytrade，criedout，’Stinkingfish;’whichwasimmediatelyreiteratedthroughthewholecrowd。Iwasthenforcedtoslinkawayhome;butIwasnotabletoaccomplishmyretreatwithoutbeingattendedbythemob，whohuzza’dmealongthestreetwiththerepeatedcriesof’Stinkingfish。’
\"Inowproceededtocourt，toinformhismajestyofmyfaithfulservice，andhowmuchIhadsufferedinhiscause。Ifoundbymyfirstreceptionhehadalreadyheardofmysuccess。Insteadofthankingmeformyspeech，hesaidthecityshouldrepentoftheirobstinacy，forthathewouldshowthemwhohewas：andsosaying，heimmediatelyturnedthatparttometowhichthetoeofmanhathsowonderfulanaffection，thatitisverydifficult，wheneveritpresentsitselfconveniently，tokeepourtoesfromthemostviolentandardentsalutationofit。
\"Iwasalittlenettledatthisbehavior，andwithsomeearnestnessclaimedtheking’sfulfillinghispromise;butheretiredwithoutansweringme。Ithenappliedtosomeofthecourtiers，whohadlatelyprofessedgreatfriendshiptome，hadeatatmyhouse，andinvitedmetotheirs：butnotonewouldreturnmeanyanswer，allrunningawayfrommeasifIhadbeenseizedwithsomecontagiousdistemper。Inowfoundbyexperience，thatasnonecanbesocivil，sononecanberuderthanacourtier。
\"Afewmomentsaftertheking’sretiringIwasleftaloneintheroomtoconsiderwhatIshoulddoorwhitherIshouldturnmyself。MyreceptioninthecitypromiseditselftobeequalatleastwithwhatIfoundatcourt。However，therewasmyhome，andthitheritwasnecessaryIshouldretreatforthepresent。
\"But，indeed，badasIapprehendedmytreatmentinthecitywouldbe，itexceededmyexpectation。Irodehomeonanamblingpadthroughcrowdswhoexpressedeverykindofdisregardandcontempt;peltingmenotonlywiththemostabusivelanguage，butwithdirt。However，withmuchdifficultyIarrivedatlastatmyownhouse，withmyboneswhole，butcoveredoverwithfilth。
\"WhenIwasgotwithinmydoors，andhadshutthemagainstthemob，whohadprettywellventedtheirspleen，andseemednowcontentedtoretire，mywife，whomIfoundcryingoverherchildren，andfromwhomIhadhopedsomecomfortinmyafflictions，felluponmeinthemostoutrageousmanner。SheaskedmewhyIwouldventureonsuchastep，withoutconsultingher;shesaidheradvicemighthavebeencivillyasked，ifIwasresolvednottohavebeenguidedbyit。That，whateveropinionI
mighthaveconceivedofherunderstanding，therestoftheworldthoughtbetterofit。ThatIhadneverfailedwhenIhadaskedhercounsel，noreversucceededwithoutit;——withmuchmoreofthesamekind，tootedioustomention;concludingthatitwasamonstrousbehaviortodesertmypartyandcomeovertothecourt。
AnabusewhichItookworsethanalltherest，asshehadbeenconstantlyforseveralyearsassiduousinrailingattheopposition，insidingwiththecourt—party，andbeggingmetocomeovertoit;andespeciallyaftermymentioningtheofferofknighthoodtoher，sincewhichtimeshehadcontinuallyinterruptedmyreposewithdinninginmyearsthefollyofrefusinghonorsandofadheringtoapartyandtoprinciplesbywhichIwascertainofprocuringnoadvantagetomyselfandmyfamily。
\"Ihadnowentirelylostmytrade，sothatIhadnottheleasttemptationtostaylongerinacitywhereIwascertainofreceivingdailyaffrontsandrebukes。Ithereforemadeupmyaffairswiththeutmostexpedition，and，scrapingtogetherallI
could，retiredintothecountry，whereIspenttheremainderofmydaysinuniversalcontempt，beingshunnedbyeverybody，perpetuallyabusedbymywife，andnotmuchrespectedbymychildren。
\"Minostoldme，thoughIhadbeenaveryvilefellow，hethoughtmysufferingsmadesomeatonement，andsobidmetaketheothertrial。\"
CHAPTERXXIV
Julianrecountswhathappenedtohimwhilehewasapoet。
\"Romewasnowtheseatofmynativity，whereIwasbornofafamilymoreremarkableforhonorthanriches。Iwasintendedforthechurch，andhadaprettygoodeducation;butmyfatherdyingwhileIwasyoung，andleavingmenothing，forhehadwastedhiswholepatrimony，Iwasforcedtoentermyselfintheorderofmendicants。
\"WhenIwasatschoolIhadaknackofrhyming，whichIunhappilymistookforgenius，andindulgedtomycost;formyversesdrewonmeonlyridicule，andIwasincontemptcalledthepoet。
\"Thishumorpursuedmethroughmylife。MyfirstcompositionafterIleftschoolwasapanegyriconpopeAlexanderIV，whothenpretendedaprojectofdethroningthekingofSicily。OnthissubjectIcomposedapoemofaboutfifteenthousandlines，whichwithmuchdifficultyIgottobepresentedtohisholiness，ofwhomIexpectedgreatprefermentasmyreward;butIwascruellydisappointed：forwhenIhadwaitedayear，withouthearinganyofthecommendationsIhadflatteredmyselfwithreceiving，andbeingnowabletocontainnolonger，IappliedtoaJesuitwhowasmyrelation，andhadthepope’sear，toknowwhathisholiness’sopinionwasofmywork：hecoldlyansweredmethathewasatthattimebusiedinconcernsoftoomuchimportancetoattendthereadingofpoems。
\"HoweverdissatisfiedImightbe，andreallywas，withthisreception，andhoweverangryIwaswiththepope？forwhoseunderstandingIentertainedanimmoderatecontempt，Iwasnotyetdiscouragedfromasecondattempt。Accordingly，Isoonafterproducedanotherwork，entitled，TheTrojanHorse。Thiswasanallegoricalwork，inwhichthechurchwasintroducedintotheworldinthesamemannerasthatmachinehadbeenintoTroy。Thepriestswerethesoldiersinitsbelly，andtheheathensuperstitionthecitytobedestroyedbythem。ThispoemwaswritteninLatin。Iremembersomeofthelines：——
Mundanosscanditfatalismachinamuros，Fartasacerdotumturmis：exindeperalvumVisiexireomnes，maguocummurmureolentes。
NonaliterquamcumllumanisfuribundusabantrisItsonusetnaressimulaurainvadithiantes。
Millescatentetmillealii;trepidaretimoreEthnicagenscoepit：falsiperinanevolantesEffugereDei——Desertaquetemplarelinquunt。
Jammagnumcrepitavitequus，moxorbisetaltiIngemuerepoli：tunctupater，ultimusomniumMaximeAlexander，ventremmaturusequinumDeseris，heuprolesmelioridigneparente。\"
IbelieveJulian，hadInotstoppedhim，wouldhavegonethroughthewholepoem（for，asIobservedinmostofthecharactersherelated，theaffectionshehadenjoyedwhilehepersonatedthemonearthstillmadesomeimpressiononhim）;butIbeggedhimtoomitthesequelofthepoem，andproceedwithhishistory。Hethenrecollectedhimself，and，smilingattheobservationwhichbyintuitionheperceivedIhadmade，continuedhisnarrationasfollows：——
\"Iconfesstoyou，\"sayshe，\"thatthedelightinrepeatingourownworksissopredominantinapoet，thatIfindnothingcantotallyrootitoutofthesoul。Happywoulditbeforthosepersonsiftheirhearerscouldbedelightedinthesamemanner：
butalas！hencethatingenssolitudocomplainedofbyHorace：
forthevanityofmankindissomuchgreedierandmoregeneralthantheiravarice，thatnobeggarissoillreceivedbythemashewhosolicitstheirpraise。
\"ThisIsufficientlyexperiencedinthecharacterofapoet;formycompanywasshunned（Ibelieveonthisaccountchiefly）bymywholehouse：nay，therewerefewwhowouldsubmittohearingmereadmypoetry，evenatthepriceofsharinginmyprovisions。
Theonlypersonwhogavemeaudiencewasabrotherpoet;heindeedfedmewithcommendationveryliberally：but，asIwasforcedtohearandcommendinmyturn，Iperhapsboughthisattentiondearenough。
\"Well，sir，ifmyexpectationsoftherewardIhopedfrommyfirstpoemhadbalkedme，Ihadnowstillgreaterreasontocomplain;for，insteadofbeingpreferredorcommendedforthesecond，Iwasenjoinedaveryseverepenancebymysuperior，forludicrouslycomparingthepopetoaf——t。Mypoetrywasnowthejestofeverycompany，exceptsomefewwhospokeofitwithdetestation;andIfoundthat，insteadofrecommendingmetopreferment，ithadeffectuallybarredmefromallprobabilityofattainingit。
\"Thesediscouragementshadnowinducedmetolaydownmypenandwritenomore。But，asJuvenalsays，——Sidiscedas，LaqueotenetambitiosiConsuetudomali。
Iwasanexampleofthetruthofthisassertion，forIsoonbetookmyselfagaintomymuse。Indeed，apoethaththesamehappinesswithamanwhoisdotinglyfondofanuglywoman。Theoneenjoyshismuse，andtheotherhismistress，withapleasureverylittleabatedbytheesteemoftheworld，andonlyundervaluestheirtastefornotcorrespondingwithhisown。
\"Itisunnecessarytomentionanymoreofmypoems;theyhadallthesamefate;andthoughinrealitysomeofmylatterpiecesdeserved（Imaynowspeakitwithouttheimputationofvanity）abettersuccess，asIhadthecharacterofabadwriter，Ifounditimpossibleevertoobtainthereputationofagoodone。HadI
possessedthemeritofHomerIcouldhavehopedfornoapplause;
sinceitmusthavebeenaprofoundsecret;fornoonewouldnowreadasyllableofmywritings。
\"Thepoetsofmyagewere，asIbelieveyouknow，notveryfamous。However，therewasoneofsomecreditatthattime，thoughIhavetheconsolationtoknowhisworksareallperishedlongago。Themalice，envy，andhatredIborethismanareinconceivabletoanybutanauthor，andanunsuccessfulone;I
nevercouldbeartohearhimwellspokenof，andwritanonymoussatiresagainsthim，thoughIhadreceivedobligationsfromhim;
indeedIbelieveitwouldhavebeenanabsoluteimpossibilityforhimatanyratetohavemademesincerelyhisfriend。
\"Ihaveheardanobservationwhichwasmadebysomeoneoflaterdays，thattherearenoworsementhanbadauthors。Aremarkofthesamekindhathbeenmadeonuglywomen，andthetruthofbothstandsononeandthesamereason，viz。，thattheyarebothtaintedwiththatcursedanddetestableviceofenvy;which，asitisthegreatesttormenttotheminditinhabits，soisitcapableofintroducingintoitatotalcorruption，andofinspiringittothecommissionofthemosthorridcrimesimaginable。
\"Mylifewasbutshort;forIsoonpinedmyselftodeathwiththeviceIjustnowmentioned。MinostoldmeIwasinfinitelytoobadforElysium;andasfortheotherplace，thedevilhadswornhewouldneverentertainapoetforOrpheus’ssake：soIwasforcedtoreturnagaintotheplacefromwhenceIcame。\"
CHAPTERXXV
Julianperformsthepartsofaknightandadancing—master。
\"InowmountedthestageinSicily，andbecameaknight—templar;
but，asmyadventuresdiffersolittlefromthoseIhaverecountedyouinthecharacterofacommonsoldier，Ishallnottireyouwithrepetition。Thesoldierandthecaptaindifferinrealitysolittlefromoneanother，thatitrequiresanaccuratejudgmenttodistinguishthem;thelatterwearsfinerclothes，andintimesofsuccesslivessomewhatmoredelicately;butastoeverythingelse，theyverynearlyresembleoneanother。
\"MynextstepwasintoFrance，wherefortuneassignedmethepartofadancing—master。IwassoexpertinmyprofessionthatIwasbroughttocourtinmyyouth，andhadtheheelsofPhilipdeValois，whoafterwardssucceededCharlestheFair，committedtomydirection。
\"IdonotrememberthatinanyofthecharactersinwhichI
appearedonearthIeverassumedtomyselfagreaterdignity，orthoughtmyselfofmorerealimportance，thannow。Ilookedondancingasthegreatestexcellenceofhumannature，andonmyselfasthegreatestproficientinit。And，indeed，thisseemedtobethegeneralopinionofthewholecourt;forIwasthechiefinstructoroftheyouthofbothsexes，whosemeritwasalmostentirelydefinedbytheadvancestheymadeinthatsciencewhichIhadthehonortoprofess。Astomyself，Iwassofullypersuadedofthistruth，thatInotonlyslightedanddespisedthosewhowereignorantofdancing，butIthoughtthehighestcharacterIcouldgiveanymanwasthathemadeagracefulbow：
forwantofwhichaccomplishmentIhadasovereigncontemptformostpersonsoflearning;nay，forsomeofficersinthearmy，andafewevenofthecourtiersthemselves。
\"ThoughsolittleofmyyouthhadbeenthrownawayinwhattheycallliteraturethatIcouldhardlywriteandread，yetI
composedatreatiseoneducation;thefirstrudimentsofwhich，asItaught，weretoinstructachildinthescienceofcominghandsomelyintoaroom。InthisIcorrectedmanyfaultsofmypredecessors，particularlythatofbeingtoomuchinahurry，andinstitutingachildinthesublimerpartsofdancingbeforetheyarecapableofmakingtheirhonors。
\"ButasIhavenotnowthesamehighopinionofmyprofessionwhichIhadthen，Ishallnotentertainyouwithalonghistoryofalifewhichconsistedofboreesandcoupees。LetitsufficethatIlivedtoaveryoldageandfollowedmybusinessaslongasIcouldcrawl。AtlengthIrevisitedmyoldfriendMinos，whotreatedmewithverylittlerespectandbademedancebackagaintoearth。
\"Ididso，andwasnowoncemorebornanEnglishman，breduptothechurch，andatlengtharrivedtothestationofabishop。
\"Nothingwassoremarkableinthischaracterasmyalwaysvoting——[10]。\"
[10]Herepartofthemanuscriptislost，andthataveryconsiderableone，asappearsbythenumberofthenextbookandchapter，whichcontains，Ifind，thehistoryofAnnaBoleyn;
butastothemannerinwhichitwasintroduced，ortowhomthenarrativeistold，wearetotallyleftinthedark。Ihaveonlytoremark，thatthischapteris，intheoriginal，writinawoman’shand：and，thoughtheobservationsinitare，Ithink，asexcellentasanyinthewholevolume，thereseemstobeadifferenceinstylebetweenthisandtheprecedingchapters;
and，asitisthecharacterofawomanwhichisrelated，Iaminclinedtofancyitwasreallywrittenbyoneofthatsex。
BOOKXIX
CHAPTERVII
WhereinAnnaBoleynrelatesthehistoryofherlife。
\"Iamgoingnowtrulytorecountalifewhichfromthetimeofitsceasinghasbeen，intheotherworld，thecontinualsubjectofthecavilsofcontendingparties;theonemakingmeasblackashell，theotheraspureandinnocentastheinhabitantsofthisblessedplace;themistofprejudiceblindingtheireyes，andzealforwhattheythemselvesprofess，makingeverythingappearinthatlightwhichtheythinkmostconducestoitshonor。
\"Myinfancywasspentinmyfather’shouse，inthosechildishplayswhicharemostsuitabletothatstate，andIthinkthiswasoneofthehappiestpartsofmylife;formyparentswerenotamongthenumberofthosewholookupontheirchildrenassomanyobjectsofatyrannicpower，butIwasregardedasthedearpledgeofavirtuouslove，andallmylittlepleasureswerethoughtfromtheirindulgencetheirgreatestdelight。AtsevenyearsoldIwascarriedintoFrancewiththeking’ssister，whowasmarriedtotheFrenchking，whereIlivedwithapersonofquality，whowasanacquaintanceofmyfather’s。Ispentmytimeinlearningthosethingsnecessarytogiveyoungpersonsoffashionapoliteeducation，anddidneithergoodnorevil，butdaypassedafterdayinthesameeasywaytillIwasfourteen;
thenbeganmyanxiety，myvanitygrewstrong，andmyheartflutteredwithjoyateverycomplimentpaidtomybeauty：andastheladywithwhomIlivedwasofagay，cheerfuldisposition，shekeptagreatdealofcompany，andmyyouthandcharmsmademethecontinualobjectoftheiradmiration。Ipassedsomelittletimeinthoseexultingraptureswhicharefeltbyeverywomanperfectlysatisfiedwithherselfandwiththebehaviorofotherstowardsher：Iwas，whenveryyoung，promotedtobemaidofhonortohermajesty。Thecourtwasfrequentedbyayoungnoblemanwhosebeautywasthechiefsubjectofconversationinallassembliesofladies。Thedelicacyofhisperson，addedtoagreatsoftnessinhismanner，gaveeverythinghesaidanddidsuchanairoftenderness，thateverywomanhespoketoflatteredherselfwithbeingtheobjectofhislove。Iwasoneofthosewhowasvainenoughofmyowncharmstohopetomakeaconquestofhimwhomthewholecourtsighedfor。Inowthoughteveryotherobjectbelowmynotice;yettheonlypleasureIproposedtomyselfinthisdesignwas，thetriumphingoverthatheartwhichI
plainlysawalltheladiesofthehighestqualityandthegreatestbeautywouldhavebeenproudofpossessing。Iwasyettooyoungtobeveryartful;butnature，withoutanyassistance，soondiscoverstoamanwhoisusedtogallantryawoman’sdesiretobelikedbyhim，whetherthatdesirearisesfromanyparticularchoiceshemakesofhim，oronlyfromvanity。Hesoonperceivedmythoughts，andgratifiedmyutmostwishesbyconstantlypreferringmebeforeallotherwomen，andexertinghisutmostgallantryandaddresstoengagemyaffections。Thissuddenhappiness，whichIthenthoughtthegreatestIcouldhavehad，appearedvisibleinallmyactions;Igrewsogayandsofullofvivacitythatitmademypersonappearstilltoabetteradvantage，allmyacquaintancepretendingtobefonderofmethanever：though，youngasIwas，Iplainlysawitwasbutpretense，forthroughalltheirendeavorstothecontraryenvywouldoftenbreakforthinslyinsinuationsandmalicioussneers，whichgavemefreshmatteroftriumph，andfrequentopportunitiesofinsultingthem，whichIneverletslip，fornowfirstmyfemaleheartgrewsensibleofthespitefulpleasureofseeinganotherlanguishforwhatIenjoyed。WhilstIwasintheheightofmyhappinesshermajestyfellillofalanguishingdistemper，whichobligedhertogointothecountryforthechangeofair：myplacemadeitnecessaryformetoattendher，andwhichwayhebroughtitaboutIcan’timagine，butmyyoungherofoundmeanstobeoneofthatsmalltrainthatwaitedonmyroyalmistress，althoughshewentasprivatelyaspossible。HithertoalltheinterviewsIhadeverhadwithhimwereinpublic，andIonlylookedonhimasthefitterobjecttofeedthatpridewhichhadnootherviewbuttoshowitspower;butnowthescenewasquitechanged。Myrivals，wereallatadistance：theplacewewenttowasascharmingasthemostagreeablenaturalsituation，assistedbythegreatestart，couldmakeit;thepleasantsolitarywalksthesingingofbirds，thethousandprettyromanticscenesthisdelightfulplaceafforded，gaveasuddenturntomymind;mywholesoulwasmeltedintosoftness，andallmyvanitywasfled。Mysparkwastoomuchusedtoaffairsofthisnaturenottoperceivethischange;atfirsttheprofusetransportsofhisjoymademebelievehimwhollymine，andthisbeliefgavemesuchhappinessthatnolanguageaffordswordstoexpressit，andcanbeonlyknowntothosewhohavefeltit。Butthiswasofaveryshortduration，forIsoonfoundIhadtodowithoneofthosemenwhoseonlyendinthepursuitofawomanistomakeherfallavictimtoaninsatiabledesiretobeadmired。Hisdesignshadsucceeded，andnowheeverydaygrewcolder，and，asifbyinfatuation，mypassioneverydayincreased;and，notwithstandingallmyresolutionsandendeavorstothecontrary，myrageatthedisappointmentatoncebothofmyloveandpride，andatthefindingapassionfixedinmybreastIknewnothowtoconquer，brokeoutintothatinconsistentbehaviorwhichmustalwaysbetheconsequenceofviolentpassions。OnemomentIreproachedhim，thenextIgrewtotendernessandblamedmyself，andthoughtIfanciedwhatwasnottrue：hesawmystruggleandtriumphedinit;but，ashehadnotwitnessesenoughthereofhisvictorytogivehimthefullenjoymentofit，hegrewwearyofthecountryandreturnedtoParis，andleftmeinaconditionitisutterlyimpossibletodescribe。Mymindwaslikeacityupinarms，allconfusion;andeverynewthoughtwasafreshdisturberofmypeace。Sleepquiteforsookme，andtheanxietyIsufferedthrewmeintoafeverwhichhadliketohavecostmemylife。WithgreatcareIrecovered，buttheviolenceofthedistemperleftsuchaweaknessonmybodythatthedisturbanceofmymindwasgreatlyassuaged;andnowIbegantocomfortmyselfinthereflectionthatthisgentleman’sbeingafinishedcoquettewasverylikelytheonlythingcouldhavepreservedme;forhewastheonlymanfromwhomIwaseverinanydanger。BythattimeI
wasgottolerablywellwereturnedtoParis;andIconfessIbothwishedandfearedtoseethiscauseofallmypain：however，I
hoped，bythehelpofmyresentment，tobeabletomeethimwithindifference。Thisemployedmythoughtstillourarrival。Thenextdaytherewasaveryfullcourttocongratulatethequeenonherrecovery;andamongsttherestmyloveappeareddressedandadornedasifhedesignedsomenewconquest。Insteadofseeingawomanhedespisedandslighted，heapproachedmewiththatassuredairwhichiscommontosuccessfulcoxcombs。AtthesametimeIperceivedIwassurroundedbyallthoseladieswhowereonhisaccountmygreatestenemies，and，inrevenge，wishedfornothingmorethantoseememakearidiculousfigure。Thissituationsoperplexedmythoughts，thatwhenhecamenearenoughtospeaktome，Ifaintedawayinhisarms。HadIstudiedwhichwayIcouldgratifyhimmost，itwasimpossibletohavedoneanythingtohavepleasedhimmore。Somethatstoodbybroughtsmelling—bottles，andusedmeansformyrecovery;andIwaswelcomedtoreturninglifebyallthosereparteeswhichwomenenragedbyenvyarecapableofventing。Onecried’Well，Ineverthoughtmylordhadanythingsofrightfulinhispersonorsofierceinhismannerastostrikeayoungladydeadatthesightofhim。’’No，no，’saysanother，’someladies’sensesaremoreapttobehurriedbyagreeablethandisagreeableobjects。’Withmanymoresuchsortofspeecheswhichshowedmoremalicethanwit。Thisnotbeingabletobear，trembling，andwithbutjuststrengthenoughtomove，Icrawledtomycoachandhurriedhome。
WhenIwasalone，andthoughtonwhathadhappenedtomeinapubliccourt，Iwasatfirstdriventotheutmostdespair;butafterwards，whenIcametoreflect，Ibelievethisaccidentcontributedmoretomybeingcuredofmypassionthananyothercouldhavedone。Ibegantothinktheonlymethodtopiquethemanwhohadusedmesobarbarously，andtoberevengedonmyspitefulrivals，wastorecoverthatbeautywhichwasthenlanguidandhadlostitsluster，toletthemseeIhadstillcharmsenoughtoengageasmanyloversasIcoulddesire，andthatIcouldyetrivalthemwhohadthuscruellyinsultedme。
Thesepleasinghopesrevivedmysinkingspirits。andworkedamoreeffectualcureonmethanallthephilosophyandadviceofthewisestmencouldhavedone。Inowemployedallmytimeandcareinadorningmyperson，andstudyingthesurestmeansofengagingtheaffectionsofothers，whileImyselfcontinuedquiteindifferent;forIresolvedforthefuture，ifeveronesoftthoughtmadeitswaytomyheart，toflytheobjectofit，andbynewloverstodrivetheimagefrommybreast。Iconsultedmyglasseverymorning，andgotsuchacommandofmycountenancethatIcouldsuitittothedifferenttastesofvarietyoflovers;andthoughIwasyoung，forIwasnotyetaboveseventeen，yetmypublicwayoflifegavemesuchcontinualopportunitiesofconversingwithmen，andthestrongdesireInowhadofpleasingthemledmetomakesuchconstantobservationsoneverythingtheysaidordid，thatIsoonfoundoutthedifferentmethodsofdealingwiththem。Iobservedthatmostmengenerallylikedinwomenwhatwasmostoppositetotheirowncharacters;
thereforetothegravesolidmanofsenseIendeavoredtoappearsprightlyandfullofspirit;tothewittyandgay，softandlanguishing;totheamorous（fortheywantnoincreaseoftheirpassions），coldandreserved;tothefearfulandbackward，warmandfulloffire;andsoofalltherest。Astobeaux，andallofthosesortofmen，whosedesiresarecenteredinthesatisfactionoftheirvanity，Ihadlearnedbysadexperiencetheonlywaytodealwiththemwastolaughatthemandlettheirowngoodopinionofthemselvesbetheonlysupportoftheirhopes。I
knew，whileIcouldgetotherfollowers，Iwassureofthem;fortheonlysignofmodestytheyevergiveisthatofnotdependingontheirownjudgments，butfollowingtheopinionsofthegreatestnumber。Thusfurnishedwithmaxims，andgrownwisebypasterrors，Iinamannerbegantheworldagain：Iappearedinallpublicplaceshandsomerandmorelivelythanever，totheamazementofeveryonewhosawmeandhadheardoftheaffairbetweenmeandmylord。Hehimselfwasmuchsurprisedandvexedatthissuddenchange，norcouldheaccounthowitwaspossibleformesosoontoshakeoffthosechainshethoughthehadfixedonmeforlife;norwashewillingtolosehisconquestinthismanner。Heendeavoredbyallmeanspossibletotalktomeagainoflove，butIstoodfixedtomyresolution（inwhichIwasgreatlyassistedbythecrowdofadmirersthatdailysurroundedme）nevertolethimexplainhimself：for，notwithstandingallmypride，Ifoundthefirstimpressiontheheartreceivesofloveissostrongthatitrequiresthemostvigilantcaretopreventarelapse。NowIlivedthreeyearsinaconstantroundofdiversions，andwasmadetheperfectidolofallthementhatcametocourtofallagesandallcharacters。Ihadseveralgoodmatchesofferedme，butIthoughtnoneofthemequaltomymerit;
andoneofmygreatestpleasureswastoseethosewomenwhohadpretendedtorivalmeoftengladtomarrythosewhomIhadrefused。Yet，notwithstandingthisgreatsuccessofmyschemes，IcannotsayIwasperfectlyhappy;foreverywomanthatwastakentheleastnoticeof，andeverymanthatwasinsensibletomyarts，gavemeasmuchpainasalltherestgavemepleasure;
andsometimeslittleunderhandplotswhichwerelaidagainstmydesignswouldsucceedinspiteofmycare：sothatIreallybegantogrowwearyofthismanneroflife，whenmyfather，returningfromhisembassyinFrance，tookmehomewithhim，andcarriedmetoalittlepleasantcountry—house，wheretherewasnothinggrandorsuperfluous，buteverythingneatandagreeable。
ThereIledalifeperfectlysolitary。Atfirstthetimehungveryheavyonmyhands，andIwantedallkindofemployment，andIhadveryliketohavefallenintotheheightofthevapors，fromnootherreasonbutfromwantofknowingwhattodowithmyself。ButwhenIhadlivedherealittletimeIfoundsuchacalmnessinmymind，andsuchadifferencebetweenthisandtherestlessanxietiesIhadexperiencedinacourt，thatIbegantosharethetranquillitythatvisiblyappearedineverythingroundme。Isetmyselftodoworksoffancy，andtoraiselittleflower—gardens，withmanysuchinnocentruralamusements;which，althoughtheyarenotcapableofaffordinganygreatpleasure，yettheygivethatsereneturntothemindwhichIthinkmuchpreferabletoanythingelsehumannatureismadesusceptibleof。
Inowresolvedtospendtherestofmydayshere，andthatnothingshouldalluremefromthatsweetretirement，tobeagaintossedaboutwithtempestuouspassionsofanykind。WhilstIwasinthissituation，mylordPercy，theearlofNorthumberland’seldestson，byanaccidentoflosinghiswayafterafox—chase，wasmetbymyfather，aboutamilefromourhouse;hecamehomewithhim，onlywithadesignofdiningwithus，butwassotakenwithmethathestayedthreedays。IhadtoomuchexperienceinallaffairsofthiskindnottoseepresentlytheinfluenceIhadonhim;butIwasatthattimesoentirelyfreefromallambition，thateventheprospectofbeingacountesshadnoeffectonme;andIthenthoughtnothingintheworldcouldhavebribedmetohavechangedmywayoflife。Thisyounglord，whowasjustinhisbloom，foundhispassionsostrong，hecouldnotendurealongabsence，butreturnedagaininaweek，andendeavored，byallthemeanshecouldthinkof，toengagemetoreturnhisaffection。Headdressedmewiththattendernessandrespectwhichwomenonearththinkcanflowfromnothingbutreallove;andveryoftentoldmethat，unlesshecouldbesohappyasbyhisassiduityandcaretomakehimselfagreeabletome，althoughheknewmyfatherwouldeagerlyembraceanyproposalfromhim，yethewouldsufferthatlastofmiseriesofneverseeingmemoreratherthanowehisownhappinesstoanythingthatmightbetheleastcontradictiontomyinclinations。Thismannerofproceedinghadsomethinginitsonobleandgenerous，thatbydegreesitraisedasensationinmewhichIknownothowtodescribe，norbywhatnametocallit：itwasnothinglikemyformerpassion：fortherewasnoturbulence，nouneasywakingnightsattendingit，butallIcouldwithhonorgranttoobligehimappearedtometobejustlyduetohistruthandlove，andmoretheeffectofgratitudethanofanydesireofmyown。ThecharacterIhadheardofhimfrommyfatheratmyfirstreturningtoEngland，indiscoursingoftheyoungnobility，convincedmethatifIwashiswifeIshouldhavetheperpetualsatisfactionofknowingeveryactionofhismustbeapprovedbyallthesensiblepartofmankind;sothatverysoonIbegantohavenoscrupleleftbutthatofleavingmylittlesceneofquietness，andventuringagainintotheworld。Butthis，byhiscontinualapplicationandsubmissivebehavior，bydegreesentirelyvanished，andIagreedheshouldtakehisowntimetobreakittomyfather，whoseconsenthewasnotlonginobtaining;forsuchamatchwasbynomeanstoberefused。ThereremainednothingnowtobedonebuttoprevailwiththeearlofNorthumberlandtocomplywithwhathissonsoardentlydesired;forwhichpurposehesetoutimmediatelyforLondon，andbeggeditasthegreatestfavorthatIwouldaccompanymyfather，whowasalsotogothithertheweekfollowing。Icouldnotrefusehisrequest，andassoonaswearrivedintownheflewtomewiththegreatestrapturestoinformmehisfatherwassogoodthat，findinghishappinessdependedonhisanswer，hehadgivenhimfreeleavetoactinthisaffairaswouldbestpleasehimself，andthathehadnownoobstacletopreventhiswishes。Itwasthenthebeginningofthewinter，andthetimeforourmarriagewasfixedforthelatterendofMarch：theconsentofallpartiesmadehisaccesstomeveryeasy，andweconversedtogetherbothwithinnocenceandpleasure。Ashisfondnesswassogreatthathecontrivedallthemethodspossibletokeepmecontinuallyinhissight，hetoldmeonemorninghewascommandedbyhisfathertoattendhimtocourtthatevening，andbeggedIwouldbesogoodastomeethimthere。IwasnowsousedtoactashewouldhavemethatImadenodifficultyofcomplyingwithhisdesire。Twodaysafterthis，Iwasverymuchsurprisedatperceivingsuchamelancholyinhiscountenance，andalterationinhisbehavior，asIcouldnowayaccountfor;but，byimportunity，atlastIgotfromhimthatcardinalWolsey，forwhatreasonheknewnot，hadperemptorilyforbidhimtothinkanymoreofme：and，whenheurgedthathisfatherwasnotdispleasedwithit，thecardinal，inhisimperiousmanner，answeredhim，heshouldgivehisfathersuchconvincingreasonswhyitwouldbeattendedwithgreatinconveniences，thathewassurehecouldbringhimtobeofhisopinion。Onwhichheturnedfromhim，andgavehimnoopportunityofreplying。I
couldnotimaginewhatdesignthecardinalcouldhaveinintermeddlinginthismatch，andIwasstillmoreperplexedtofindthatmyfathertreatedmylordPercywithmuchmorecoldnessthanusual;hetoosawit，andwebothwonderedwhatcouldpossiblybethecauseofallthis。Butitwasnotlongbeforethemysterywasallmadeclearbymyfather，who，sendingformeonedayintohischamber，letmeintoasecretwhichwasaslittlewishedforasexpected。Hebeganwiththesurprisingeffectsofyouthandbeauty，andthemadnessoflettinggothoseadvantagestheymightprocureustillitwastoolate，whenwemightwishinvaintobringthembackagain。Istoodamazedatthisbeginning;hesawmyconfusion，andbidmesitdownandattendtowhathewasgoingtotellme，whichwasofthegreatestconsequence;andhehopedIwouldbewiseenoughtotakehisadvice，andactasheshouldthinkbestformyfuturewelfare。
HethenaskedmeifIshouldnotbemuchpleasedtobeaqueen？
Ianswered，withthegreatestearnestness，that，sofarfromit，Iwouldnotliveinacourtagaintobethegreatestqueenintheworld;thatIhadaloverwhowasbothdesirousandabletoraisemystationevenbeyondmywishes。Ifoundthisdiscoursewasverydispleasing;myfatherfrowned，andcalledmearomanticfool，andsaidifIwouldhearkentohimhecouldmakemeaqueen;forthecardinalhadtoldhimthattheking，fromthetimehesawmeatcourttheothernight，likedme，andintendedtogetadivorcefromhiswife，andtoputmeinherplace;andorderedhimtofindsomemethodtomakemeamaidofhonortoherpresentmajesty，thatinthemeantimehemighthaveanopportunityofseeingme。Itisimpossibletoexpresstheastonishmentthesewordsthrewmeinto;and，notwithstandingthatthemomentbefore，whenitappearedatsogreatadistance，Iwasverysincereinmydeclarationhowmuchitwasagainstmywilltoberaisedsohigh，yetnowtheprospectcamenearer，Iconfessmyheartfluttered，andmyeyesweredazzledwithaviewofbeingseatedonathrone。
Myimaginationpresentedbeforemeallthepomp，powerandgreatnessthatattendacrown;andIwassoperplexedIknewnotwhattoanswer，butremainedassilentasifIhadlosttheuseofmyspeech。Myfather，whoguessedwhatitwasthatmademeinthiscondition，proceededtobringalltheargumentshethoughtmostlikelytobendmetohiswill;atlastIrecoveredfromthisdreamofgrandeur，andbeggedhim，byallthemostendearingnamesIcouldthinkof，nottourgemedishonorablytoforsakethemanwhoIwasconvincedwouldraisemetoanempireifinhispower，andwhohadenoughinhispowertogivemeallIdesired。
ButhewasdeaftoallIcouldsay，andinsistedthatbynextweekIshouldpreparemyselftogotocourt：hebidmeconsiderofit，andnotpreferaridiculousnotionofhonortotherealinterestofmywholefamily;but，aboveallthings，nottodisclosewhathehadtrustedmewith。Onwhichheleftmetomyownthoughts。WhenIwasaloneIreflectedhowlittlerealtendernessthisbehaviorshowedtome，whosehappinesshedidnotatallconsult，butonlylookedonmeasaladder，onwhichhecouldclimbtotheheightofhisownambitiousdesires：andwhenIthoughtonhisfondnessformeinmyinfancyIcouldimputeittonothingbuteitherthelikingmeasaplaythingorthegratificationofhisvanityinmybeauty。ButIwastoomuchdividedbetweenacrownandmyengagementtolordPercytospendmuchtimeinthinkingofanythingelse;and，althoughmyfatherhadpositivelyforbidme，yet，whenhecamenext，Icouldnothelpacquaintinghimwithallthathadpassed，withthereserveonlyofthestruggleinmyownmindonthefirstmentionofbeingaqueen。Iexpectedhewouldhavereceivedthenewswiththegreatestagonies;butheshowednovastemotion：however，hecouldnothelpturningpale，and，takingmebythehand，lookedatmewithanairoftenderness，andsaid，’Ifbeingaqueenwouldmakeyouhappy，anditisinyourpowertobeso，Iwouldnotfortheworldpreventit，letmesufferwhatIwill。’Thisamazinggreatnessofmindhadonmequitethecontraryeffectfromwhatitoughttohavehad;for，insteadofincreasingmyloveforhimitalmostputanendtoit，andIbegantothink，ifhecouldpartwithme，thematterwasnotmuch。AndIamconvinced，whenanymangivesupthepossessionofawomanwhoseconsenthehasonceobtained，lethismotivebeeversogenerous，hewilldisobligeher。Icouldnothelpshowingmydissatisfaction，andtoldhimIwasverygladthisaffairsatsoeasilyonhim。Hehadnotpowertoanswer，butwassosuddenlystruckwiththisunexpectedill—naturedturnIgavehisbehavior，thathestoodamazedforsometime，andthenbowedandleftme。
NowIwasagainlefttomyownreflections;buttomakeanythingintelligibleoutofthemisquiteimpossible：Iwishedtobeaqueen，andwishedImightnotbeone：IwouldhavemylordPercyhappywithoutme;andyetIwouldnothavethepowerofmycharmsbesoweakthathecouldbearthethoughtoflifeafterbeingdisappointedinmylove。Buttheresultofalltheseconfusedthoughtswasaresolutiontoobeymyfather。Iamafraidtherewasnotmuchdutyinthecase，thoughatthattimeIwasgladtotakeholdofthatsmallshadowtosavemefromlookingonmyownactionsinthetruelight。WhenmylovercameagainIlookedonhimwiththatcoldnessthathecouldnotbear，onpurposetoridmyselfofallimportunity：forsinceIhadresolvedtousehimillIregardedhimasthemonumentofmyshame，andhiseverylookappearedtometoupbraidme。Myfathersooncarriedmetocourt;thereIhadnoveryhardparttoact;for，withtheexperienceIhadhadofmankind，Icouldfindnogreatdifficultyinmanagingamanwholikedme，andforwhomInotonlydidnotcarebuthadanutteraversionto：butthisaversionhebelievedtobevirtue;forhowcredulousisamanwhohasaninclinationtobelieve！AndItookcaresometimestodropwordsofcottagesandlove，andhowhappythewomanwaswhofixedheraffectionsonamaninsuchastationoflifethatshemightshowherlovewithoutbeingsuspectedofhypocrisyormercenaryviews。Allthiswasswallowedveryeasilybytheamorousking，whopushedonthedivorcewiththeutmostimpetuosity，althoughtheaffairlastedagoodwhile，andIremainedmostpartofthetimebehindthecurtain。WheneverthekingmentionedittomeIusedsuchargumentsagainstitasIthoughtthemostlikelytomakehimthemoreeagerforit;beggingthat，unlesshisconsciencewasreallytouched，hewouldnotonmyaccountgiveanygrieftohisvirtuousqueen;forinbeingherhandmaidIthoughtmyselfhighlyhonored;andthatIwouldnotonlyforegoacrown，butevengiveupthepleasureofeverseeinghimmore，ratherthanwrongmyroyalmistress。Thiswayoftalking，joinedtohiseagerdesiretopossessmyperson，convincedthekingsostronglyofmyexaltedmerit，thathethoughtitameritoriousacttodisplacethewoman（whomhecouldnothavesogoodanopinionof，becausehewastiredofher），andtoputmeinherplace。Afteraboutayear’sstayatcourt，astheking’slovetomebegantobetalkedof，itwasthoughtpropertoremoveme，thattheremightbenoumbragegiventothequeen’sparty。Iwasforcedtocomplywiththis，thoughgreatlyagainstmywill;forIwasveryjealousthatabsencemightchangetheking’smind。Iretiredagainwithmyfathertohiscountry—seat，butithadnolongerthosecharmsformewhichIonceenjoyedthere;formymindwasnowtoomuchtakenupwithambitiontomakeroomforanyotherthoughts。Duringmystayhere，myroyalloveroftensentgentlementomewithmessagesandletters，whichIalwaysansweredinthemannerI
thoughtwouldbestbringaboutmydesigns，whichweretocomebackagaintocourt。Inallthelettersthatpassedbetweenustherewassomethingsokinglyandcommandinginhis，andsodeceitfulandsubmissiveinmine，thatIsometimescouldnothelpreflectingonthedifferencebetwixtthiscorrespondenceandthatwithlordPercy;yetIwassopressedforwardbythedesireofacrown，Icouldnotthinkofturningback。InallIwroteI
continuallypraisedhisresolutionoflettingmebeatadistancefromhim，sinceatthistimeitconducedindeedtomyhonor;but，whatwasoftentimesmoreweightwithme，Ithoughtitwasnecessaryforhis;andIwouldsoonersufferanythingintheworldthanbeanymeansofhurttohim，eitherinhisinterestorreputation。Ialwaysgavesomehintsofillhealth，withsomereflectionshownecessarythepeaceofthemindwastothatofthebody。BythesemeansIbroughthimtorecallmeagainbythemostabsolutecommand，whichI，foralittletime，artfullydelayed（forIknewtheimpatienceofhistemperwouldnotbearanycontradictions），tillhemademyfatherinamannerforcemetowhatImostwished，withtheutmostappearanceofreluctanceonmyside。WhenIhadgainedthispointIbegantothinkwhichwayIcouldseparatethekingfromthequeen，forhithertotheylivedinthesamehouse。TheladyMary，thequeen’sdaughter，beingthenaboutsixteen，IsoughtforemissariesofherownagethatIcouldconfidein，toinstillintoherminddisrespectfulthoughtsofherfather，andmakeajestofthetendernessofhisconscienceaboutthedivorce。Iknewshehadnaturallystrongpassions，andthatyoungpeopleofthatageareapttothinkthosethatpretendtobetheirfriendsarereallyso，andonlyspeaktheirmindsfreely。Iafterwardscontrivedtohaveeverywordshespokeofhimcarriedtotheking，whotookitallasI
couldwish，andfanciedthosethingsdidnotcomeatfirstfromtheyounglady，butfromhermother。Hewouldoftentalkofittome，andIagreedwithhiminhissentiments;butthen，asagreatproofofmygoodness，Ialwaysendeavoredtoexcuseher，bysayingaladysolongtimeusedtobearoyalqueenmightnaturallybealittleexasperatedwiththoseshefanciedwouldthrowherfromthatstationshesojustlydeserved。BythesesortofplotsIfoundthewaytomakethekingangrywiththequeen;fornothingiseasierthantomakeamanangrywithawomanhewantstoberidof，andwhostandsinthewaybetweenhimandhispleasure;sothatnowtheking，onthepretenseofthequeen’sobstinacyinapointwherehisconsciencewassotenderlyconcerned，partedwithher。Everythingwasnowplainbeforeme;Ihadnothingfarthertodobuttoletthekingalonetohisowndesires;andIhadnoreasontofear，sincetheyhadcarriedhimsofar，butthattheywouldurgehimontodoeverythingIaimedat。IwascreatedmarchionessofPembroke。
Thisdignitysatveryeasyonme;forthethoughtsofamuchhighertitletookfrommeallfeelingofthis;andIlookeduponbeingamarchionessasatrifle，notthatIsawthebaubleinitstruelight，butbecauseitfellshortofwhatIhadfiguredtomyselfIshouldsoonobtain。Theking’sdesiresgrewveryimpatient，anditwasnotlongbeforeIwasprivatelymarriedtohim。IwasnosoonerhiswifethanIfoundallthequeencomeuponme;Ifeltmyselfconsciousofroyalty，andeventhefacesofmymostintimateacquaintanceseemedtometobequitestrange。Ihardlyknewthem：heighthadturnedmyhead，andI
waslikeamanplacedonamonument，towhosesightallcreaturesatagreatdistancebelowhimappearlikesomanylittlepigmiescrawlingaboutontheearth;andtheprospectsogreatlydelightedme，thatIdidnotpresentlyconsiderthatinbothcasesdescendingafewstepserectedbyhumanhandswouldplaceusinthenumberofthoseverypigmieswhoappearedsodespicable。Ourmarriagewaskeptprivateforsometime，foritwasnotthoughtpropertomakeitpublic（theaffairofthedivorcenotbeingfinished）tillthebirthofmydaughterElizabethmadeitnecessary。Butallwhosawmeknewit;formymannerofspeakingandactingwassomuchchangedwithmystation，thatallaroundmeplainlyperceivedIwassureIwasaqueen。WhileitwasasecretIhadyetsomethingtowishfor;I
couldnotbeperfectlysatisfiedtillalltheworldwasacquaintedwithmyfortune：butwhenmycoronationwasover，andIwasraisedtotheheightofmyambition，insteadoffindingmyselfhappy，Iwasinrealitymoremiserablethanever;for，besidesthattheaversionIhadnaturallytothekingwasmuchmoredifficulttodissembleaftermarriagethanbefore，andgrewintoaperfectdetestation，myimagination，whichhadthuswarmlypursuedacrown，grewcoolwhenIwasinthepossessionofit，andgavemetimetoreflectwhatmightymatterIhadgainedbyallthisbustle;andIoftenusedtothinkmyselfinthecaseofthefox—hunter，who，whenhehastoiledandsweatedalldayinthechaseasifsomeunheard—ofblessingwastocrownhissuccess，findsatlastallhehasgotbyhislaborisastinkingnauseousanimal。Butmyconditionwasyetworsethanhis;forheleavestheloathsomewretchtobetornbyhishounds，whilstI
wasobligedtofondlemine，andmeanlypretendhimtobetheobjectofmylove。ForthewholetimeIwasinthisenvied，thisexaltedstate，Iledacontinuallifeofhypocrisy，whichInowknownothingonearthcancompensate。IhadnocompanionbutthemanIhated。Idarednotdisclosemysentimentstoanypersonaboutme，nordidanyonepresumetoenterintoanyfreedomofconversationwithme;butallwhospoketometalkedtothequeen，andnottome;fortheywouldhavesaidjustthesamethingstoadressed—uppuppet，ifthekinghadtakenafancytocallithiswife。AndasIkneweverywomaninthecourtwasmyenemy，fromthinkingshehadmuchmorerightthanIhadtotheplaceIfilled，IthoughtmyselfasunhappyasifIhadbeenplacedinawildwood，wheretherewasnohumancreatureformetospeakto，inacontinualfearofleavinganytracesofmyfootsteps，lestIshouldbefoundbysomedreadfulmonster，orstungbysnakesandadders;forsucharespitefulwomentotheobjectsoftheirenvy。InthisworstofallsituationsIwasobligedtohidemymelancholyandappearcheerful。Thisthrewmeintoanerrortheotherway，andIsometimesfellintoalevityinmybehaviorthatwasafterwardsmadeuseoftomydisadvantage。Ihadasondeadborn，whichIperceivedabatedsomethingoftheking’sardor;forhistempercouldnotbrooktheleastdisappointment。Thisgavemenouneasiness;for，notconsideringtheconsequences，IcouldnothelpbeingbestpleasedwhenIhadleastofhiscompany。AfterwardsIfoundhehadcasthiseyesononeofmymaidsofhonor;and，whetheritwasowingtoanyartofhers，oronlytotheking’sviolentpassions，Iwasintheendusedevenworsethanmyformermistresshadbeenbymymeans。Thedecayoftheking’saffectionwaspresentlyseenbyallthosecourt—sycophantswhocontinuallywatchthemotionsofroyaleyes;andthemomenttheyfoundtheycouldbeheardagainstmetheyturnedmymostinnocentactionsandwords，nay，evenmyverylooks，intoproofsoftheblackestcrimes。Theking，whowasimpatienttoenjoyhisnewlove，lentawillingeartoallmyaccusers，whofoundwaysofmakinghimjealousthatIwasfalsetohisbed。Hewouldnotsoeasilyhavebelievedanythingagainstmebefore，buthewasnowgladtoflatterhimselfthathehadfoundareasontodojustwhathehadresolveduponwithoutareason;andonsomeslightpretensesandhearsayevidenceIwassenttotheTower，wheretheladywhowasmygreatestenemywasappointedtowatchmeandlieinthesamechamberwithme。Thiswasreallyasbadapunishmentasmydeath，forsheinsultedmewiththosekeenreproachesandspitefulwitticisms，whichthrewmeintosuchvaporsandviolentfitsthatIknewnotwhatI
utteredinthiscondition。ShepretendedIhadconfessedtalkingridiculousstuffwithasetoflowfellowswhomIhadhardlyevertakennoticeof，ascouldhaveimposedonnonebutsuchaswereresolvedtobelieve。Iwasbroughttomytrial，and，toblackenmethemore，accusedofconversingcriminallywithmyownbrother，whomindeedIlovedextremelywell，butneverlookedonhiminanyotherlightthanasmyfriend。However，Iwascondemnedtobebeheaded，orburnt，asthekingpleased;andhewasgraciouslypleased，fromthegreatremainsofhislove，tochoosethemildestsentence。IwasmuchlessshockedatthismannerofendingmylifethanIshouldhavebeeninanyotherstation：butIhadhadsolittleenjoymentfromthetimeIhadbeenaqueen，thatdeathwasthelessdreadfultome。ThechiefthingsthatlayonmyconscienceweretheartsImadeuseoftoinducethekingtopartwiththequeen，myillusageofladyMary，andmyjiltinglordPercy。However，IendeavoredtocalmmymindaswellasIcould，andhopedthesecrimeswouldbeforgivenme;forinotherrespectsIhadledaveryinnocentlife，andalwaysdidallthegood—naturedactionsIfoundanyopportunityofdoing。FromthetimeIhaditinmypower，Igaveagreatdealofmoneyamongstthepoor;Iprayedverydevoutly，andwenttomyexecutionverycomposedly。ThusIlostmylifeattheageoftwenty—nine，inwhichshorttimeIbelieveIwentthroughmorevarietyofscenesthanmanypeoplewholivetobeveryold。Ihadlivedinacourt，whereIspentmytimeincoquetryandgayety;Ihadexperiencedwhatitwastohaveoneofthoseviolentpassionswhichmakesthemindallturbulenceandanxiety;IhadhadaloverwhomIesteemedandvalued，andatthelatterpartofmylifeIwasraisedtoastationashighasthevainestwomancouldwish。ButinallthesevariouschangesI
neverenjoyedanyrealsatisfaction，unlessinthelittletimeI
livedretiredinthecountryfreefromallnoiseandhurry，andwhileIwasconsciousIwastheobjectoftheloveandesteemofamanofsenseandhonor。\"
OntheconclusionofthishistoryMinospausedforasmalltime，andthenorderedthegatetobethrownopenforAnnaBoleyn’sadmittanceontheconsiderationthatwhoeverhadsufferedbeingthequeenforfouryears，andbeensensibleduringallthattimeoftherealmiserywhichattendsthatexaltedstation，oughttobeforgivenwhatevershehaddonetoobtainit。[11]
[11]Hereendsthiscuriousmanuscript;therestbeingdestroyedinrollinguppens，tobacco，&c。Itistobehopedheedlesspeoplewillhenceforthbemorecautiouswhattheyburn，orusetoothervilepurposes;especiallywhentheyconsiderthefatewhichhadlikelytohavebefallenthedivineMilton，andthattheworksofHomerwereprobablydiscoveredinsomechandlersshopinGreece。