ACTISCENEI。London。Thepalace。EnterKINGHENRY，LORDJOHNOFLANCASTER，theEARLofWESTMORELAND，SIRWALTERBLUNT，andothersKINGHENRYIVSoshakenasweare，sowanwithcare，Findweatimeforfrightedpeacetopant，Andbreatheshort—windedaccentsofnewbroilsTobecommencedinstrandsafarremote。
NomorethethirstyentranceofthissoilShalldaubherlipswithherownchildren’sblood;
Normoreshalltrenchingwarchannelherfields，NorbruiseherfloweretswiththearmedhoofsOfhostilepaces：thoseopposedeyes，Which，likethemeteorsofatroubledheaven，Allofonenature，ofonesubstancebred，DidlatelymeetintheintestineshockAndfuriouscloseofcivilbutcheryShallnow，inmutualwell—beseemingranks，MarchallonewayandbenomoreopposedAgainstacquaintance，kindredandallies：
Theedgeofwar，likeanill—sheathedknife，Nomoreshallcuthismaster。Therefore，friends，AsfarastothesepulchreofChrist，Whosesoldiernow，underwhoseblessedcrossWeareimpressedandengagedtofight，ForthwithapowerofEnglishshallwelevy;
Whosearmsweremouldedintheirmothers’wombTochasethesepagansinthoseholyfieldsOverwhoseacreswalk’dthoseblessedfeetWhichfourteenhundredyearsagowerenail’dForouradvantageonthebittercross。
Butthisourpurposenowistwelvemonthold，Andbootless’tistotellyouwewillgo：
Thereforewemeetnotnow。ThenletmehearOfyou，mygentlecousinWestmoreland，WhatyesternightourcouncildiddecreeInforwardingthisdearexpedience。WESTMORELANDMyliege，thishastewashotinquestion，AndmanylimitsofthechargesetdownButyesternight：whenallathwarttherecameApostfromWalesloadenwithheavynews;
Whoseworstwas，thatthenobleMortimer，LeadingthemenofHerefordshiretofightAgainsttheirregularandwildGlendower，WasbytherudehandsofthatWelshmantaken，Athousandofhispeoplebutchered;
Uponwhosedeadcorpsetherewassuchmisuse，Suchbeastlyshamelesstransformation，BythoseWelshwomendoneasmaynotbeWithoutmuchshameretoldorspokenof。KINGHENRYIVItseemsthenthatthetidingsofthisbroilBrakeoffourbusinessfortheHolyLand。WESTMORELANDThismatch’dwithotherdid，mygraciouslord;
FormoreunevenandunwelcomenewsCamefromthenorthandthusitdidimport：
OnHoly—roodday，thegallantHotspurthere，YoungHarryPercyandbraveArchibald，Thatever—valiantandapprovedScot，AtHolmedonmet，Wheretheydidspendasadandbloodyhour，Asbydischargeoftheirartillery，Andshapeoflikelihood，thenewswastold;
Forhethatbroughtthem，intheveryheatAndprideoftheircontentiondidtakehorse，Uncertainoftheissueanyway。KINGHENRYIVHereisadear，atrueindustriousfriend，SirWalterBlunt，newlightedfromhishorse。
Stain’dwiththevariationofeachsoilBetwixtthatHolmedonandthisseatofours;
Andhehathbroughtussmoothandwelcomenews。
TheEarlofDouglasisdiscomfited：
TenthousandboldScots，twoandtwentyknights，Balk’dintheirownblooddidSirWalterseeOnHolmedon’splains。Ofprisoners，HotspurtookMordaketheEarlofFife，andeldestsonTobeatenDouglas;andtheEarlofAthol，OfMurray，Angus，andMenteith：
Andisnotthisanhonourablespoil？
Agallantprize？ha，cousin，isitnot？WESTMORELANDInfaith，Itisaconquestforaprincetoboastof。KINGHENRYIVYea，therethoumakestmesadandmakestmesinInenvythatmyLordNorthumberlandShouldbethefathertosoblestason，Asonwhoisthethemeofhonour’stongue;
Amongstagrove，theverystraightestplant;
WhoissweetFortune’sminionandherpride：
WhilstI，bylookingonthepraiseofhim，SeeriotanddishonourstainthebrowOfmyyoungHarry。OthatitcouldbeprovedThatsomenight—trippingfairyhadexchangedIncradle—clothesourchildrenwheretheylay，Andcall’dminePercy，hisPlantagenet！
ThenwouldIhavehisHarry，andhemine。
Butlethimfrommythoughts。Whatthinkyou，coz，OfthisyoungPercy’spride？theprisoners，Whichheinthisadventurehathsurprised，Tohisownusehekeeps;andsendsmeword，IshallhavenonebutMordakeEarlofFife。WESTMORELANDThisishisuncle’steaching;thisisWorcester，Malevolenttoyouinallaspects;
Whichmakeshimprunehimself，andbristleupThecrestofyouthagainstyourdignity。KINGHENRYIVButIhavesentforhimtoanswerthis;
AndforthiscauseawhilewemustneglectOurholypurposetoJerusalem。
Cousin，onWednesdaynextourcouncilweWillholdatWindsor;soinformthelords：
Butcomeyourselfwithspeedtousagain;
FormoreistobesaidandtobedoneThanoutofangercanbeuttered。WESTMORELANDIwill，myliege。
ExeuntSCENEII。London。AnapartmentofthePrince’s。EnterthePRINCEOFWALESandFALSTAFFFALSTAFFNow，Hal，whattimeofdayisit，lad？PRINCEHENRYThouartsofat—witted，withdrinkingofoldsackandunbuttoningtheeaftersupperandsleepinguponbenchesafternoon，thatthouhastforgottentodemandthattrulywhichthouwouldsttrulyknow。
Whatadevilhastthoutodowiththetimeoftheday？Unlesshourswerecupsofsackandminutescaponsandclocksthetonguesofbawdsanddialsthesignsofleaping—housesandtheblessedsunhimselfafairhotwenchinflame—colouredtaffeta，I
seenoreasonwhythoushouldstbesosuperfluoustodemandthetimeoftheday。FALSTAFFIndeed，youcomenearmenow，Hal;forwethattakepursesgobythemoonandthesevenstars，andnotbyPhoebus，he，’thatwanderingknightsofair。’
And，Iprithee，sweetwag，whenthouartking，as，Godsavethygrace，——majestyIshouldsay，forgracethouwilthavenone，——PRINCEHENRYWhat，none？FALSTAFFNo，bymytroth，notsomuchaswillservetoprologuetoaneggandbutter。PRINCEHENRYWell，howthen？come，roundly，roundly。FALSTAFFMarry，then，sweetwag，whenthouartking，letnotusthataresquiresofthenight’sbodybecalledthievesoftheday’sbeauty：letusbeDiana’sforesters，gentlemenoftheshade，minionsofthemoon;andletmensaywebemenofgoodgovernment，beinggoverned，astheseais，byournobleandchastemistressthemoon，underwhosecountenancewesteal。PRINCEHENRYThousayestwell，anditholdswelltoo;
forthefortuneofusthatarethemoon’smendothebbandflowlikethesea，beinggoverned，astheseais，bythemoon。As，forproof，now：apurseofgoldmostresolutelysnatchedonMondaynightandmostdissolutelyspentonTuesdaymorning;gotwithswearing’Layby’andspentwithcrying’Bringin;’
nowinaslowanebbasthefootoftheladderandbyandbyinashighaflowastheridgeofthegallows。FALSTAFFBytheLord，thousayesttrue，lad。Andisnotmyhostessofthetavernamostsweetwench？PRINCEHENRYAsthehoneyofHybla，myoldladofthecastle。Andisnotabuffjerkinamostsweetrobeofdurance？FALSTAFFHownow，hownow，madwag！what，inthyquipsandthyquiddities？whataplaguehaveItodowithabuffjerkin？PRINCEHENRYWhy，whatapoxhaveItodowithmyhostessofthetavern？FALSTAFFWell，thouhastcalledhertoareckoningmanyatimeandoft。PRINCEHENRYDidIevercallfortheetopaythypart？FALSTAFFNo;I’llgivetheethydue，thouhastpaidallthere。PRINCEHENRYYea，andelsewhere，sofarasmycoinwouldstretch;
andwhereitwouldnot，Ihaveusedmycredit。FALSTAFFYea，andsouseditthatwereitnothereapparentthatthouartheirapparent——But，Iprithee，sweetwag，shalltherebegallowsstandinginEnglandwhenthouartking？andresolutionthusfobbedasitiswiththerustycurbofoldfatheranticthelaw？
Donotthou，whenthouartking，hangathief。PRINCEHENRYNo;thoushalt。FALSTAFFShallI？Orare！BytheLord，I’llbeabravejudge。PRINCEHENRYThoujudgestfalsealready：Imean，thoushalthavethehangingofthethievesandsobecomeararehangman。FALSTAFFWell，Hal，well;andinsomesortitjumpswithmyhumouraswellaswaitinginthecourt，Icantellyou。PRINCEHENRYForobtainingofsuits？FALSTAFFYea，forobtainingofsuits，whereofthehangmanhathnoleanwardrobe。’Sblood，Iamasmelancholyasagibcatoraluggedbear。PRINCEHENRYOranoldlion，oralover’slute。FALSTAFFYea，orthedroneofaLincolnshirebagpipe。PRINCEHENRYWhatsayestthoutoahare，orthemelancholyofMoor—ditch？FALSTAFFThouhastthemostunsavourysimilesandartindeedthemostcomparative，rascalliest，sweetyoungprince。But，Hal，Iprithee，troublemenomorewithvanity。IwouldtoGodthouandIknewwhereacommodityofgoodnamesweretobebought。Anoldlordofthecouncilratedmetheotherdayinthestreetaboutyou，sir，butImarkedhimnot;andyethetalkedverywisely，butIregardedhimnot;
andyethetalkedwisely，andinthestreettoo。PRINCEHENRYThoudidstwell;forwisdomcriesoutinthestreets，andnomanregardsit。FALSTAFFO，thouhastdamnableiterationandartindeedabletocorruptasaint。Thouhastdonemuchharmuponme，Hal;Godforgivetheeforit！BeforeIknewthee，Hal，Iknewnothing;andnowamI，ifamanshouldspeaktruly，littlebetterthanoneofthewicked。Imustgiveoverthislife，andIwillgiveitover：bytheLord，andIdonot，Iamavillain：
I’llbedamnedforneveraking’ssoninChristendom。PRINCEHENRYWhereshallwetakeapursetomorrow，Jack？FALSTAFF’Zounds，wherethouwilt，lad;I’llmakeone;anI
donot，callmevillainandbaffleme。PRINCEHENRYIseeagoodamendmentoflifeinthee;
fromprayingtopurse—taking。FALSTAFFWhy，Hal，’tismyvocation，Hal;’tisnosinforamantolabourinhisvocation。
EnterPOINS
Poins！NowshallweknowifGadshillhavesetamatch。O，ifmenweretobesavedbymerit，whatholeinhellwerehotenoughforhim？Thisisthemostomnipotentvillainthatevercried’Stand’
toatrueman。PRINCEHENRYGoodmorrow，Ned。POINSGoodmorrow，sweetHal。WhatsaysMonsieurRemorse？
whatsaysSirJohnSackandSugar？Jack！howagreesthedevilandtheeaboutthysoul，thatthousoldesthimonGood—FridaylastforacupofMadeiraandacoldcapon’sleg？PRINCEHENRYSirJohnstandstohisword，thedevilshallhavehisbargain;forhewasneveryetabreakerofproverbs：hewillgivethedevilhisdue。POINSThenartthoudamnedforkeepingthywordwiththedevil。PRINCEHENRYElsehehadbeendamnedforcozeningthedevil。POINSBut，mylads，mylads，to—morrowmorning，byfouro’clock，earlyatGadshill！therearepilgrimsgoingtoCanterburywithrichofferings，andtradersridingtoLondonwithfatpurses：Ihavevizardsforyouall;youhavehorsesforyourselves：
Gadshillliesto—nightinRochester：Ihavebespokesupperto—morrownightinEastcheap：wemaydoitassecureassleep。Ifyouwillgo，Iwillstuffyourpursesfullofcrowns;ifyouwillnot，tarryathomeandbehanged。FALSTAFFHearye，Yedward;ifItarryathomeandgonot，I’llhangyouforgoing。POINSYouwill，chops？FALSTAFFHal，wiltthoumakeone？PRINCEHENRYWho，Irob？Iathief？notI，bymyfaith。FALSTAFFThere’sneitherhonesty，manhood，norgoodfellowshipinthee，northoucamestnotofthebloodroyal，ifthoudarestnotstandfortenshillings。PRINCEHENRYWellthen，onceinmydaysI’llbeamadcap。FALSTAFFWhy，that’swellsaid。PRINCEHENRYWell，comewhatwill，I’lltarryathome。FALSTAFFBytheLord，I’llbeatraitorthen，whenthouartking。PRINCEHENRYIcarenot。POINSSirJohn，Iprithee，leavetheprinceandmealone：
Iwilllayhimdownsuchreasonsforthisadventurethatheshallgo。FALSTAFFWell，Godgivetheethespiritofpersuasionandhimtheearsofprofiting，thatwhatthouspeakestmaymoveandwhathehearsmaybebelieved，thatthetrueprincemay，forrecreationsake，proveafalsethief;forthepoorabusesofthetimewantcountenance。Farewell：youshallfindmeinEastcheap。PRINCEHENRYFarewell，thoulatterspring！farewell，All—hallownsummer！
ExitFalstaffPOINSNow，mygoodsweethoneylord，ridewithusto—morrow：IhaveajesttoexecutethatIcannotmanagealone。Falstaff，Bardolph，PetoandGadshillshallrobthosementhatwehavealreadywaylaid：
yourselfandIwillnotbethere;andwhentheyhavethebooty，ifyouandIdonotrobthem，cutthisheadofffrommyshoulders。PRINCEHENRYHowshallwepartwiththeminsettingforth？POINSWhy，wewillsetforthbeforeorafterthem，andappointthemaplaceofmeeting，whereinitisatourpleasuretofail，andthenwilltheyadventureupontheexploitthemselves;whichtheyshallhavenosoonerachieved，butwe’llsetuponthem。PRINCEHENRYYea，but’tislikethattheywillknowusbyourhorses，byourhabitsandbyeveryotherappointment，tobeourselves。POINSTut！ourhorsestheyshallnotsee：I’lltietheminthewood;ourvizardswewillchangeafterweleavethem：and，sirrah，Ihavecasesofbuckramforthenonce，toimmaskournotedoutwardgarments。PRINCEHENRYYea，butIdoubttheywillbetoohardforus。POINSWell，fortwoofthem，Iknowthemtobeastrue—bredcowardsaseverturnedback;andforthethird，ifhefightlongerthanheseesreason，I’llforsweararms。Thevirtueofthisjestwillbe，theincomprehensibleliesthatthissamefatroguewilltelluswhenwemeetatsupper：howthirty，atleast，hefoughtwith;whatwards，whatblows，whatextremitiesheendured;andinthereproofofthisliesthejest。PRINCEHENRYWell，I’llgowiththee：provideusallthingsnecessaryandmeetmeto—morrownightinEastcheap;
thereI’llsup。Farewell。POINSFarewell，mylord。
ExitPoinsPRINCEHENRYIknowyouall，andwillawhileupholdTheunyokedhumourofyouridleness：
YethereinwillIimitatethesun，WhodothpermitthebasecontagiouscloudsTosmotheruphisbeautyfromtheworld，That，whenhepleaseagaintobehimself，Beingwanted，hemaybemorewonder’dat，BybreakingthroughthefoulanduglymistsOfvapoursthatdidseemtostranglehim。
Ifalltheyearwereplayingholidays，Tosportwouldbeastediousastowork;
Butwhentheyseldomcome，theywish’dforcome，Andnothingpleasethbutrareaccidents。
So，whenthisloosebehaviorIthrowoffAndpaythedebtIneverpromised，ByhowmuchbetterthanmywordIam，BysomuchshallIfalsifymen’shopes;
Andlikebrightmetalonasullenground，Myreformation，glitteringo’ermyfault，ShallshowmoregoodlyandattractmoreeyesThanthatwhichhathnofoiltosetitoff。
I’llsooffend，tomakeoffenceaskill;
RedeemingtimewhenmenthinkleastIwill。
ExitSCENEIII。London。Thepalace。EntertheKING，NORTHUMBERLAND，WORCESTER，HOTSPUR，SIR
WALTERBLUNT，withothersKINGHENRYIVMybloodhathbeentoocoldandtemperate，Unapttostirattheseindignities，Andyouhavefoundme;foraccordinglyYoutreaduponmypatience：butbesureIwillfromhenceforthratherbemyself，Mightyandtobefear’d，thanmycondition;
Whichhathbeensmoothasoil，softasyoungdown，AndthereforelostthattitleofrespectWhichtheproudsoulne’erpaysbuttotheproud。EARLOFWORCESTEROurhouse，mysovereignliege，littledeservesThescourgeofgreatnesstobeusedonit;
AndthatsamegreatnesstoowhichourownhandsHaveholptomakesoportly。NORTHUMBERLANDMylord。——KINGHENRYIVWorcester，gettheegone;forIdoseeDangeranddisobedienceinthineeye：
O，sir，yourpresenceistooboldandperemptory，AndmajestymightneveryetendureThemoodyfrontierofaservantbrow。
Youhavegoodleavetoleaveus：whenweneedYouruseandcounsel，weshallsendforyou。
ExitWorcesterYouwereabouttospeak。
ToNorthNORTHUMBERLANDYea，mygoodlord。
Thoseprisonersinyourhighness’namedemanded，WhichHarryPercyhereatHolmedontook，Were，ashesays，notwithsuchstrengthdeniedAsisdeliver’dtoyourmajesty：
Eitherenvy，therefore，ormisprisonIsguiltyofthisfaultandnotmyson。HOTSPURMyliege，Ididdenynoprisoners。
ButIremember，whenthefightwasdone，WhenIwasdrywithrageandextremetoil，Breathlessandfaint，leaninguponmysword，Camethereacertainlord，neat，andtrimlydress’d，Freshasabridegroom;andhischinnewreap’dShow’dlikeastubble—landatharvest—home;
Hewasperfumedlikeamilliner;
And’twixthisfingerandhisthumbheheldApouncet—box，whicheverandanonHegavehisnoseandtook’tawayagain;
Whotherewithangry，whenitnextcamethere，Tookitinsnuff;andstillhesmiledandtalk’d，Andasthesoldiersboredeadbodiesby，Hecall’dthemuntaughtknaves，unmannerly，TobringaslovenlyunhandsomecorseBetwixtthewindandhisnobility。
WithmanyholidayandladytermsHequestion’dme;amongsttherest，demandedMyprisonersinyourmajesty’sbehalf。
Ithen，allsmartingwithmywoundsbeingcold，Tobesopester’dwithapopinjay，Outofmygriefandmyimpatience，Answer’dneglectinglyIknownotwhat，Heshouldorheshouldnot;forhemadememadToseehimshinesobriskandsmellsosweetAndtalksolikeawaiting—gentlewomanOfgunsanddrumsandwounds，——Godsavethemark！——
Andtellingmethesovereign’stthingonearthWasparmacetiforaninwardbruise;
Andthatitwasgreatpity，soitwas，Thisvillanoussalt—petreshouldbedigg’dOutofthebowelsoftheharmlessearth，Whichmanyagoodtallfellowhaddestroy’dSocowardly;andbutforthesevileguns，Hewouldhimselfhavebeenasoldier。
Thisbaldunjointedchatofhis，mylord，Ianswer’dindirectly，asIsaid;
AndIbeseechyou，letnothisreportComecurrentforanaccusationBetwixtmyloveandyourhighmajesty。SIRWALTERBLUNTThecircumstanceconsider’d，goodmylord，Whate’erLordHarryPercythenhadsaidTosuchapersonandinsuchaplace，Atsuchatime，withalltherestretold，MayreasonablydieandneverriseTodohimwrongoranywayimpeachWhatthenhesaid，soheunsayitnow。KINGHENRYIVWhy，yethedothdenyhisprisoners，Butwithprovisoandexception，ThatweatourownchargeshallransomstraightHisbrother—in—law，thefoolishMortimer;
Who，onmysoul，hathwilfullybetray’dThelivesofthosethathedidleadtofightAgainstthatgreatmagician，damn’dGlendower，Whosedaughter，aswehear，theEarlofMarchHathlatelymarried。Shallourcoffers，then，Beemptiedtoredeematraitorhome？
Shallwebuttreason？andindentwithfears，Whentheyhavelostandforfeitedthemselves？
No，onthebarrenmountainslethimstarve;
ForIshallneverholdthatmanmyfriendWhosetongueshallaskmeforonepennycostToransomhomerevoltedMortimer。HOTSPURRevoltedMortimer！
Heneverdidfalloff，mysovereignliege，Butbythechanceofwar;toprovethattrueNeedsnomorebutonetongueforallthosewounds，Thosemouthedwounds，whichvaliantlyhetookWhenonthegentleSevern’ssedgybank，Insingleopposition，handtohand，HedidconfoundthebestpartofanhourInchanginghardimentwithgreatGlendower：
Threetimestheybreathedandthreetimesdidtheydrink，Uponagreement，ofswiftSevern’sflood;
Whothen，affrightedwiththeirbloodylooks，Ranfearfullyamongthetremblingreeds，Andhidhiscrispheadinthehollowbank，Bloodstainedwiththesevaliantcombatants。
NeverdidbaseandrottenpolicyColourherworkingwithsuchdeadlywounds;
NorcouldthenobleMortimerReceivesomany，andallwillingly：
Thenletnothimbeslander’dwithrevolt。KINGHENRYIVThoudostbeliehim，Percy，thoudostbeliehim;
HeneverdidencounterwithGlendower：
Itellthee，HedurstaswellhavemetthedevilaloneAsOwenGlendowerforanenemy。
Artthounotashamed？But，sirrah，henceforthLetmenothearyouspeakofMortimer：
Sendmeyourprisonerswiththespeediestmeans，OryoushallhearinsuchakindfrommeAswilldispleaseyou。MyLordNorthumberland，Welicenceyourdeparturewithyourson。
Sendusyourprisoners，oryouwillhearofit。
ExeuntKingHenry，Blunt，andtrainHOTSPURAnifthedevilcomeandroarforthem，Iwillnotsendthem：IwillafterstraightAndtellhimso;forIwilleasemyheart，AlbeitImakeahazardofmyhead。NORTHUMBERLANDWhat，drunkwithcholer？stayandpauseawhile：
Herecomesyouruncle。
Re—enterWORCESTERHOTSPURSpeakofMortimer！
’Zounds，Iwillspeakofhim;andletmysoulWantmercy，ifIdonotjoinwithhim：
Yea，onhispartI’llemptyalltheseveins，Andshedmydearblooddropbydropinthedust，ButIwillliftthedown—trodMortimerAshighintheairasthisunthankfulking，Asthisingrateandcanker’dBolingbroke。NORTHUMBERLANDBrother，thekinghathmadeyournephewmad。EARLOFWORCESTERWhostruckthisheatupafterIwasgone？HOTSPURHewill，forsooth，haveallmyprisoners;
AndwhenIurgedtheransomonceagainOfmywife’sbrother，thenhischeeklook’dpale，Andonmyfaceheturn’daneyeofdeath，TremblingevenatthenameofMortimer。EARLOFWORCESTERIcannotblamehim：wasnotheproclaim’dByRichardthatdeadisthenextofblood？NORTHUMBERLANDHewas;Iheardtheproclamation：
Andthenitwaswhentheunhappyking，——WhosewrongsinusGodpardon！——didsetforthUponhisIrishexpedition;
FromwhenceheintercepteddidreturnTobedeposedandshortlymurdered。EARLOFWORCESTERAndforwhosedeathweintheworld’swidemouthLivescandalizedandfoullyspokenof。HOTSPURButsoft，Iprayyou;didKingRichardthenProclaimmybrotherEdmundMortimerHeirtothecrown？NORTHUMBERLANDHedid;myselfdidhearit。HOTSPURNay，thenIcannotblamehiscousinking，Thatwishedhimonthebarrenmountainsstarve。
Butshallitbethatyou，thatsetthecrownUpontheheadofthisforgetfulmanAndforhissakewearthedetestedblotOfmurderoussubornation，shallitbe，Thatyouaworldofcursesundergo，Beingtheagents，orbasesecondmeans，Thecords，theladder，orthehangmanrather？
O，pardonmethatIdescendsolow，ToshowthelineandthepredicamentWhereinyourangeunderthissubtleking;
Shallitforshamebespokeninthesedays，Orfillupchroniclesintimetocome，ThatmenofyournobilityandpowerDidgagethembothinanunjustbehalf，Asbothofyou——Godpardonit！——havedone，ToputdownRichard，thatsweetlovelyrose，Anplantthisthorn，thiscanker，Bolingbroke？
Andshallitinmoreshamebefurtherspoken，Thatyouarefool’d，discardedandshookoffByhimforwhomtheseshamesyeunderwent？
No;yettimeserveswhereinyoumayredeemYourbanish’dhonoursandrestoreyourselvesIntothegoodthoughtsoftheworldagain，Revengethejeeringanddisdain’dcontemptOfthisproudking，whostudiesdayandnightToanswerallthedebtheowestoyouEvenwiththebloodypaymentofyourdeaths：
Therefore，Isay——EARLOFWORCESTERPeace，cousin，saynomore：
AndnowIwillunclaspasecretbook，Andtoyourquick—conceivingdiscontentsI’llreadyoumatterdeepanddangerous，AsfullofperilandadventurousspiritAstoo’er—walkacurrentroaringloudOntheunsteadfastfootingofaspear。HOTSPURIfhefallin，goodnight！orsinkorswim：
Senddangerfromtheeastuntothewest，Sohonourcrossitfromthenorthtosouth，Andletthemgrapple：O，thebloodmorestirsTorousealionthantostartahare！NORTHUMBERLANDImaginationofsomegreatexploitDriveshimbeyondtheboundsofpatience。HOTSPURByheaven，methinksitwereaneasyleap，Topluckbrighthonourfromthepale—facedmoon，Ordiveintothebottomofthedeep，Wherefathom—linecouldnevertouchtheground，Andpluckupdrownedhonourbythelocks;
SohethatdothredeemherthencemightwearWithoutcorrival，allherdignities：
Butoutuponthishalf—facedfellowship！EARLOFWORCESTERHeapprehendsaworldoffigureshere，Butnottheformofwhatheshouldattend。
Goodcousin，givemeaudienceforawhile。HOTSPURIcryyoumercy。EARLOFWORCESTERThosesamenobleScotsThatareyourprisoners，——HOTSPURI’llkeepthemall;
ByGod，heshallnothaveaScotofthem;
No，ifaScotwouldsavehissoul，heshallnot：
I’llkeepthem，bythishand。EARLOFWORCESTERYoustartawayAndlendnoearuntomypurposes。
Thoseprisonersyoushallkeep。HOTSPURNay，Iwill;that’sflat：
HesaidhewouldnotransomMortimer;
ForbadmytonguetospeakofMortimer;
ButIwillfindhimwhenheliesasleep，AndinhisearI’llholla’Mortimer！’
Nay，I’llhaveastarlingshallbetaughttospeakNothingbut’Mortimer，’andgiveithimTokeephisangerstillinmotion。EARLOFWORCESTERHearyou，cousin;aword。HOTSPURAllstudieshereIsolemnlydefy，SavehowtogallandpinchthisBolingbroke：
Andthatsamesword—and—bucklerPrinceofWales，ButthatIthinkhisfatherloveshimnotAndwouldbegladhemetwithsomemischance，Iwouldhavehimpoison’dwithapotofale。EARLOFWORCESTERFarewell，kinsman：I’lltalktoyouWhenyouarebettertemper’dtoattend。NORTHUMBERLANDWhy，whatawasp—stungandimpatientfoolArtthoutobreakintothiswoman’smood，Tyingthineeartonotonguebutthineown！HOTSPURWhy，lookyou，Iamwhipp’dandscourgedwithrods，Nettledandstungwithpismires，whenIhearOfthisvilepolitician，Bolingbroke。
InRichard’stime，——whatdoyoucalltheplace？——
Aplagueuponit，itisinGloucestershire;
’Twaswherethemadcapdukehisunclekept，HisuncleYork;whereIfirstbow’dmykneeUntothiskingofsmiles，thisBolingbroke，——
’Sblood！——
WhenyouandhecamebackfromRavenspurgh。NORTHUMBERLANDAtBerkleycastle。HOTSPURYousaytrue：
Why，whatacandydealofcourtesyThisfawninggreyhoundthendidprofferme！
Look，’whenhisinfantfortunecametoage，’
And’gentleHarryPercy，’and’kindcousin;’
O，thedeviltakesuchcozeners！Godforgiveme！
Gooduncle，tellyourtale;Ihavedone。EARLOFWORCESTERNay，ifyouhavenot，toitagain;
Wewillstayyourleisure。HOTSPURIhavedone，i’faith。EARLOFWORCESTERThenoncemoretoyourScottishprisoners。
Deliverthemupwithouttheirransomstraight，AndmaketheDouglas’sonyouronlymeanForpowersinScotland;which，fordiversreasonsWhichIshallsendyouwritten，beassured，Willeasilybegranted。You，mylord，ToNorthumberlandYoursoninScotlandbeingthusemploy’d，ShallsecretlyintothebosomcreepOfthatsamenobleprelate，wellbeloved，Thearchbishop。HOTSPUROfYork，isitnot？EARLOFWORCESTERTrue;whobearshardHisbrother’sdeathatBristol，theLordScroop。
Ispeaknotthisinestimation，AswhatIthinkmightbe，butwhatIknowIsruminated，plottedandsetdown，AndonlystaysbuttobeholdthefaceOfthatoccasionthatshallbringiton。HOTSPURIsmellit：uponmylife，itwilldowell。NORTHUMBERLANDBeforethegameisafoot，thoustilllet’stslip。HOTSPURWhy，itcannotchoosebutbeanobleplot;
AndthenthepowerofScotlandandofYork，TojoinwithMortimer，ha？EARLOFWORCESTERAndsotheyshall。HOTSPURInfaith，itisexceedinglywellaim’d。EARLOFWORCESTERAnd’tisnolittlereasonbidsusspeed，Tosaveourheadsbyraisingofahead;
For，bearourselvesasevenaswecan，Thekingwillalwaysthinkhiminourdebt，Andthinkwethinkourselvesunsatisfied，Tillhehathfoundatimetopayushome：
AndseealreadyhowhedothbeginTomakeusstrangerstohislooksoflove。HOTSPURHedoes，hedoes：we’llberevengedonhim。EARLOFWORCESTERCousin，farewell：nofurthergointhisThanIbylettersshalldirectyourcourse。
Whentimeisripe，whichwillbesuddenly，I’llstealtoGlendowerandLordMortimer;
WhereyouandDouglasandourpowersatonce，AsIwillfashionit，shallhappilymeet，Tobearourfortunesinourownstrongarms，Whichnowweholdatmuchuncertainty。NORTHUMBERLANDFarewell，goodbrother：weshallthrive，Itrust。HOTSPURUncle，Adieu：O，letthehoursbeshortTillfieldsandblowsandgroansapplaudoursport！
ExeuntACTIISCENEI。Rochester。Aninnyard。EnteraCarrierwithalanterninhishandFirstCarrierHeigh—ho！anitbenotfourbytheday，I’llbehanged：Charles’wainisoverthenewchimney，andyetourhorsenotpacked。What，ostler！Ostler[Within]Anon，anon。FirstCarrierIprithee，Tom，beatCut’ssaddle，putafewflocksinthepoint;poorjade，iswrunginthewithersoutofallcess。
EnteranotherCarrierSecondCarrierPeasandbeansareasdankhereasadog，andthatisthenextwaytogivepoorjadesthebots：thishouseisturnedupsidedownsinceRobinOstlerdied。FirstCarrierPoorfellow，neverjoyedsincethepriceofoatsrose;itwasthedeathofhim。SecondCarrierIthinkthisbethemostvillanoushouseinallLondonroadforfleas：Iamstunglikeatench。FirstCarrierLikeatench！bythemass，thereisne’erakingchristencouldbebetterbitthanIhavebeensincethefirstcock。SecondCarrierWhy，theywillallowusne’erajordan，andthenweleakinyourchimney;andyourchamber—liebreedsfleaslikealoach。FirstCarrierWhat，ostler！comeawayandbehanged！SecondCarrierIhaveagammonofbaconandtworazorsofginger，tobedeliveredasfarasCharing—cross。FirstCarrierGod’sbody！theturkeysinmypannierarequitestarved。What，ostler！Aplagueonthee！hastthouneveraneyeinthyhead？canstnothear？An’twerenotasgooddeedasdrink，tobreakthepateonthee，Iamaveryvillain。Come，andbehanged！
hastthounofaithinthee？
EnterGADSHILLGADSHILLGoodmorrow，carriers。What’so’clock？FirstCarrierIthinkitbetwoo’clock。GADSHILLIpraytheelendmethylantern，toseemygeldinginthestable。FirstCarrierNay，byGod，soft;Iknowatrickworthtwoofthat，i’faith。GADSHILLIpraythee，lendmethine。SecondCarrierAy，when？can’sttell？Lendmethylantern，quothhe？marry，I’llseetheehangedfirst。GADSHILLSirrahcarrier，whattimedoyoumeantocometoLondon？SecondCarrierTimeenoughtogotobedwithacandle，Iwarrantthee。Come，neighbourMugs，we’llcallupthegentleman：theywillalongwithcompany，fortheyhavegreatcharge。
ExeuntcarriersGADSHILLWhat，ho！chamberlain！Chamberlain[Within]Athand，quothpick—purse。GADSHILLThat’sevenasfairas——athand，quoththechamberlain;forthouvariestnomorefrompickingofpursesthangivingdirectiondothfromlabouring;
thoulayesttheplothow。
EnterChamberlainChamberlainGoodmorrow，MasterGadshill。ItholdscurrentthatItoldyouyesternight：there’safranklininthewildofKenthathbroughtthreehundredmarkswithhimingold：Iheardhimtellittooneofhiscompanylastnightatsupper;akindofauditor;
onethathathabundanceofchargetoo，Godknowswhat。
Theyareupalready，andcallforeggsandbutter;
theywillawaypresently。GADSHILLSirrah，iftheymeetnotwithSaintNicholas’
clerks，I’llgivetheethisneck。ChamberlainNo，I’llnoneofit：Ipraytheekeepthatforthehangman;forIknowthouworshippestSt。Nicholasastrulyasamanoffalsehoodmay。GADSHILLWhattalkestthoutomeofthehangman？
ifIhang，I’llmakeafatpairofgallows;forifIhang，oldSirJohnhangswithme，andthouknowestheisnostarveling。Tut！thereareotherTrojansthatthoudreamestnotof，thewhichforsportsakearecontenttodotheprofessionsomegrace;thatwould，ifmattersshouldbelookedinto，fortheirowncreditsake，makeallwhole。Iamjoinedwithnofoot—landrakers，nolong—staffsixpennystrikers，noneofthesemadmustachiopurple—huedmalt—worms;
butwithnobilityandtranquillity，burgomastersandgreatoneyers，suchascanholdin，suchaswillstrikesoonerthanspeak，andspeaksoonerthandrink，anddrinksoonerthanpray：andyet，zounds，Ilie;fortheypraycontinuallytotheirsaint，thecommonwealth;orrather，notpraytoher，butpreyonher，fortheyrideupanddownonherandmakehertheirboots。ChamberlainWhat，thecommonwealththeirboots？willsheholdoutwaterinfoulway？GADSHILLShewill，shewill;justicehathliquoredher。Westealasinacastle，cocksure;wehavethereceiptoffern—seed，wewalkinvisible。ChamberlainNay，bymyfaith，Ithinkyouaremorebeholdingtothenightthantofern—seedforyourwalkinginvisible。GADSHILLGivemethyhand：thoushalthaveashareinourpurchase，asIamatrueman。ChamberlainNay，ratherletmehaveit，asyouareafalsethief。GADSHILLGoto;’homo’isacommonnametoallmen。Bidtheostlerbringmygeldingoutofthestable。Farewell，youmuddyknave。
ExeuntSCENEII。Thehighway，nearGadshill。EnterPRINCEHENRYandPOINSPOINSCome，shelter，shelter：IhaveremovedFalstaff’shorse，andhefretslikeagummedvelvet。PRINCEHENRYStandclose。
EnterFALSTAFFFALSTAFFPoins！Poins，andbehanged！Poins！PRINCEHENRYPeace，yefat—kidneyedrascal！whatabrawlingdostthoukeep！FALSTAFFWhere’sPoins，Hal？PRINCEHENRYHeiswalkeduptothetopofthehill：
I’llgoseekhim。FALSTAFFIamaccursedtorobinthatthief’scompany：
therascalhathremovedmyhorse，andtiedhimIknownotwhere。IfItravelbutfourfootbythesquierfurtherafoot，Ishallbreakmywind。Well，I
doubtnotbuttodieafairdeathforallthis，ifI
’scapehangingforkillingthatrogue。Ihaveforswornhiscompanyhourlyanytimethistwoandtwentyyears，andyetIambewitchedwiththerogue’scompany。Iftherascalhathnotgivenmemedicinestomakemelovehim，I’llbehanged;
itcouldnotbeelse：Ihavedrunkmedicines。Poins！
Hal！aplagueuponyouboth！Bardolph！Peto！
I’llstarveereI’llrobafootfurther。An’twerenotasgoodadeedasdrink，toturntruemanandtoleavetheserogues，Iamtheveriestvarletthateverchewedwithatooth。Eightyardsofunevengroundisthreescoreandtenmilesafootwithme;
andthestony—heartedvillainsknowitwellenough：
aplagueuponitwhenthievescannotbetrueonetoanother！
TheywhistleWhew！Aplagueuponyouall！Givememyhorse，yourogues;givememyhorse，andbehanged！PRINCEHENRYPeace，yefat—guts！liedown;laythineearclosetothegroundandlistifthoucansthearthetreadoftravellers。FALSTAFFHaveyouanyleverstoliftmeupagain，beingdown？
’Sblood，I’llnotbearmineownfleshsofarafootagainforallthecoininthyfather’sexchequer。
Whataplaguemeanyetocoltmethus？PRINCEHENRYThouliest;thouartnotcolted，thouartuncolted。FALSTAFFIprithee，goodPrinceHal，helpmetomyhorse，goodking’sson。PRINCEHENRYOut，yerogue！shallIbeyourostler？FALSTAFFGo，hangthyselfinthineownheir—apparentgarters！IfIbeta’en，I’llpeachforthis。AnI
havenotballadsmadeonyouallandsungtofilthytunes，letacupofsackbemypoison：whenajestissoforward，andafoottoo！Ihateit。
EnterGADSHILL，BARDOLPHandPETOGADSHILLStand。FALSTAFFSoIdo，againstmywill。POINSO，’tisoursetter：Iknowhisvoice。
Bardolph，whatnews？BARDOLPHCaseye，caseye;onwithyourvizards：
there’smoneyoftheking’scomingdownthehill;’tisgoingtotheking’sexchequer。FALSTAFFYoulie，yerogue;’tisgoingtotheking’stavern。GADSHILLThere’senoughtomakeusall。FALSTAFFTobehanged。PRINCEHENRYSirs，youfourshallfronttheminthenarrowlane;
NedPoinsandIwillwalklower：ifthey’scapefromyourencounter，thentheylightonus。PETOHowmanybethereofthem？GADSHILLSomeeightorten。FALSTAFF’Zounds，willtheynotrobus？PRINCEHENRYWhat，acoward，SirJohnPaunch？FALSTAFFIndeed，IamnotJohnofGaunt，yourgrandfather;
butyetnocoward，Hal。PRINCEHENRYWell，weleavethattotheproof。POINSSirrahJack，thyhorsestandsbehindthehedge：
whenthouneedesthim，therethoushaltfindhim。
Farewell，andstandfast。FALSTAFFNowcannotIstrikehim，ifIshouldbehanged。PRINCEHENRYNed，whereareourdisguises？POINSHere，hardby：standclose。
ExeuntPRINCEHENRYandPOINSFALSTAFFNow，mymasters，happymanbehisdole，sayI：
everymantohisbusiness。
EntertheTravellersFirstTravellerCome，neighbour：theboyshallleadourhorsesdownthehill;we’llwalkafootawhile，andeaseourlegs。ThievesStand！TravellersJesusblessus！FALSTAFFStrike;downwiththem;cutthevillains’
throats：
ah！whoresoncaterpillars！bacon—fedknaves！theyhateusyouth：downwiththem：fleecethem。TravellersO，weareundone，bothweandoursforever！FALSTAFFHangye，gorbelliedknaves，areyeundone？
No，yefatchuffs：Iwouldyourstorewerehere！On，bacons，on！What，yeknaves！youngmenmustlive。
YouareGrand—jurors，areye？we’lljureye，’faith。
Heretheyrobthemandbindthem。ExeuntRe—enterPRINCEHENRYandPOINSPRINCEHENRYThethieveshaveboundthetruemen。NowcouldthouandIrobthethievesandgomerrilytoLondon，itwouldbeargumentforaweek，laughterforamonthandagoodjestforever。POINSStandclose;Ihearthemcoming。
EntertheThievesagainFALSTAFFCome，mymasters，letusshare，andthentohorsebeforeday。AnthePrinceandPoinsbenottwoarrantcowards，there’snoequitystirring：there’snomorevalourinthatPoinsthaninawild—duck。PRINCEHENRYYourmoney！POINSVillains！
Astheyaresharing，thePrinceandPoinssetuponthem;theyallrunaway;andFalstaff，afterablowortwo，runsawaytoo，leavingthebootybehindthemPRINCEHENRYGotwithmuchease。Nowmerrilytohorse：
Thethievesareallscatter’dandpossess’dwithfearSostronglythattheydarenotmeeteachother;
Eachtakeshisfellowforanofficer。
Away，goodNed。Falstaffsweatstodeath，Andlardstheleanearthashewalksalong：
Were’tnotforlaughing，Ishouldpityhim。POINSHowtherogueroar’d！
ExeuntSCENEIII。WarkworthcastleEnterHOTSPUR，solus，readingaletterHOTSPUR’Butformineownpart，mylord，Icouldbewellcontentedtobethere，inrespectoftheloveI
bearyourhouse。’Hecouldbecontented：whyishenot，then？Inrespectofthelovehebearsourhouse：
heshowsinthis，heloveshisownbarnbetterthanhelovesourhouse。Letmeseesomemore。’Thepurposeyouundertakeisdangerous;’——why，that’scertain：’tisdangeroustotakeacold，tosleep，todrink;butItellyou，mylordfool，outofthisnettle，danger，wepluckthisflower，safety。
’Thepurposeyouundertakeisdangerous;thefriendsyouhavenameduncertain;thetimeitselfunsorted;
andyourwholeplottoolightforthecounterpoiseofsogreatanopposition。’Sayyouso，sayyouso？
Isayuntoyouagain，youareashallowcowardlyhind，andyoulie。Whatalack—brainisthis！BytheLord，ourplotisagoodplotaseverwaslaid;ourfriendstrueandconstant：agoodplot，goodfriends，andfullofexpectation;anexcellentplot，verygoodfriends。Whatafrosty—spiritedrogueisthis！Why，mylordofYorkcommendstheplotandthegeneralcourseofaction。’Zounds，anIwerenowbythisrascal，Icouldbrainhimwithhislady’sfan。
Istherenotmyfather，myuncleandmyself？lordEdmundMortimer，MylordofYorkandOwenGlendower？
istherenotbesidestheDouglas？haveInotalltheirletterstomeetmeinarmsbytheninthofthenextmonth？andaretheynotsomeofthemsetforwardalready？Whatapaganrascalisthis！
aninfidel！Ha！youshallseenowinverysincerityoffearandcoldheart，willhetothekingandlayopenallourproceedings。O，Icoulddividemyselfandgotobuffets，formovingsuchadishofskimmilkwithsohonourableanaction！Hanghim！
lethimtelltheking：weareprepared。Iwillsetforwardto—night。
EnterLADYPERCY
Hownow，Kate！Imustleaveyouwithinthesetwohours。LADYPERCYO，mygoodlord，whyareyouthusalone？
ForwhatoffencehaveIthisfortnightbeenAbanish’dwomanfrommyHarry’sbed？
Tellme，sweetlord，whatis’tthattakesfromtheeThystomach，pleasureandthygoldensleep？
Whydostthoubendthineeyesupontheearth，Andstartsooftenwhenthousit’stalone？
Whyhastthoulostthefreshbloodinthycheeks;
AndgivenmytreasuresandmyrightsoftheeTothick—eyedmusingandcursedmelancholy？
InthyfaintslumbersIbytheehavewatch’d，Andheardtheemurmurtalesofironwars;
Speaktermsofmanagetothyboundingsteed;
Cry’Courage！tothefield！’Andthouhasttalk’dOfsalliesandretires，oftrenches，tents，Ofpalisadoes，frontiers，parapets，Ofbasilisks，ofcannon，culverin，Ofprisoners’ransomandofsoldiersslain，Andallthecurrentsofaheadyfight。
ThyspiritwithintheehathbeensoatwarAndthushathsobestirr’dtheeinthysleep，ThatbeadsofsweathavestooduponthybrowLikebubblesinalate—disturbedstream;
Andinthyfacestrangemotionshaveappear’d，SuchasweseewhenmenrestraintheirbreathOnsomegreatsuddenhest。O，whatportentsarethese？
Someheavybusinesshathmylordinhand，AndImustknowit，elsehelovesmenot。HOTSPURWhat，ho！
EnterServantIsGilliamswiththepacketgone？ServantHeis，mylord，anhourago。HOTSPURHathButlerbroughtthosehorsesfromthesheriff？ServantOnehorse，mylord，hebroughtevennow。HOTSPURWhathorse？aroan，acrop—ear，isitnot？ServantItis，mylord。HOTSPURThatroanshallbymythrone。
Well，Iwillbackhimstraight：Oesperance！
BidButlerleadhimforthintothepark。
ExitServantLADYPERCYButhearyou，mylord。HOTSPURWhatsay’stthou，mylady？LADYPERCYWhatisitcarriesyouaway？HOTSPURWhy，myhorse，mylove，myhorse。LADYPERCYOut，youmad—headedape！
AweaselhathnotsuchadealofspleenAsyouaretoss’dwith。Infaith，I’llknowyourbusiness，Harry，thatIwill。
IfearmybrotherMortimerdothstirAbouthistitle，andhathsentforyouTolinehisenterprise：butifyougo，——HOTSPURSofarafoot，Ishallbeweary，love。LADYPERCYCome，come，youparaquito，answermeDirectlyuntothisquestionthatIask：
Infaith，I’llbreakthylittlefinger，Harry，Anifthouwiltnottellmeallthingstrue。HOTSPURAway，Away，youtrifler！Love！Ilovetheenot，Icarenotforthee，Kate：thisisnoworldToplaywithmammetsandtotiltwithlips：
Wemusthavebloodynosesandcrack’dcrowns，Andpassthemcurrenttoo。God’sme，myhorse！
Whatsay’stthou，Kate？whatwould’stthouhavewithme？LADYPERCYDoyounotloveme？doyounot，indeed？
Well，donotthen;forsinceyoulovemenot，Iwillnotlovemyself。Doyounotloveme？
Nay，tellmeifyouspeakinjestorno。HOTSPURCome，wiltthouseemeride？
AndwhenIamonhorseback，IwillswearIlovetheeinfinitely。Butharkyou，Kate;
ImustnothaveyouhenceforthquestionmeWhitherIgo，norreasonwhereabout：
WhitherImust，Imust;and，toconclude，ThiseveningmustIleaveyou，gentleKate。
Iknowyouwise，butyetnofartherwiseThanHarryPercy’swife：constantyouare，Butyetawoman：andforsecrecy，Noladycloser;forIwellbelieveThouwiltnotutterwhatthoudostnotknow;
AndsofarwillItrustthee，gentleKate。LADYPERCYHow！sofar？HOTSPURNotaninchfurther。Butharkyou，Kate：
WhitherIgo，thithershallyougotoo;
To—daywillIsetforth，to—morrowyou。
Willthiscontentyou，Kate？LADYPERCYItmustofforce。
ExeuntSCENEIV。TheBoar’s—HeadTavern，Eastcheap。EnterPRINCEHENRYandPOINSPRINCEHENRYNed，prithee，comeoutofthatfatroom，andlendmethyhandtolaughalittle。POINSWherehastbeen，Hal？PRINCEHENRYWiththreeorfourloggerheadsamongstthreeorfourscorehogsheads。Ihavesoundedtheverybase—stringofhumility。Sirrah，Iamswornbrothertoaleashofdrawers;andcancallthemallbytheirchristennames，asTom，Dick，andFrancis。
Theytakeitalreadyupontheirsalvation，thatthoughIbebuttheprinceofWales，yetIamkingofcourtesy;andtellmeflatlyIamnoproudJack，likeFalstaff，butaCorinthian，aladofmettle，agoodboy，bytheLord，sotheycallme，andwhenI
amkingofEngland，IshallcommandallthegoodladsinEastcheap。Theycalldrinkingdeep，dyeingscarlet;andwhenyoubreatheinyourwatering，theycry’hem！’andbidyouplayitoff。Toconclude，I
amsogoodaproficientinonequarterofanhour，thatIcandrinkwithanytinkerinhisownlanguageduringmylife。Itellthee，Ned，thouhastlostmuchhonour，thatthouwertnotwithmeinthissweetaction。But，sweetNed，——tosweetenwhichnameofNed，Igivetheethispennyworthofsugar，clappedevennowintomyhandbyanunder—skinker，onethatneverspakeotherEnglishinhislifethan’Eightshillingsandsixpence’and’Youarewelcome，’
withthisshrilladdition，’Anon，anon，sir！ScoreapintofbastardintheHalf—Moon，’orso。But，Ned，todriveawaythetimetillFalstaffcome，Iprithee，dothoustandinsomeby—room，whileIquestionmypunydrawertowhatendhegavemethesugar;
anddothouneverleavecalling’Francis，’thathistaletomemaybenothingbut’Anon。’Stepaside，andI’llshowtheeaprecedent。POINSFrancis！PRINCEHENRYThouartperfect。POINSFrancis！
ExitPOINS
EnterFRANCISFRANCISAnon，anon，sir。LookdownintothePomgarnet，Ralph。PRINCEHENRYComehither，Francis。FRANCISMylord？PRINCEHENRYHowlonghastthoutoserve，Francis？FRANCISForsooth，fiveyears，andasmuchasto——POINS[Within]Francis！FRANCISAnon，anon，sir。PRINCEHENRYFiveyear！by’rlady，alongleasefortheclinkingofpewter。But，Francis，darestthoubesovaliantastoplaythecowardwiththyindentureandshowitafairpairofheelsandrunfromit？FRANCISOLord，sir，I’llbeswornuponallthebooksinEngland，Icouldfindinmyheart。POINS[Within]Francis！FRANCISAnon，sir。PRINCEHENRYHowoldartthou，Francis？FRANCISLetmesee——aboutMichaelmasnextIshallbe——POINS[Within]Francis！FRANCISAnon，sir。Praystayalittle，mylord。PRINCEHENRYNay，butharkyou，Francis：forthesugarthougavestme，’twasapennyworth，wast’tnot？FRANCISOLord，Iwouldithadbeentwo！PRINCEHENRYIwillgivetheeforitathousandpound：
askmewhenthouwilt，andthoushalthaveit。POINS[Within]Francis！FRANCISAnon，anon。PRINCEHENRYAnon，Francis？No，Francis;butto—morrow，Francis;
or，Francis，o’Thursday;orindeed，Francis，whenthouwilt。But，Francis！FRANCISMylord？PRINCEHENRYWiltthourobthisleathernjerkin，crystal—button，not—pated，agate—ring，puke—stocking，caddis—garter，smooth—tongue，Spanish—pouch，——FRANCISOLord，sir，whodoyoumean？PRINCEHENRYWhy，then，yourbrownbastardisyouronlydrink;
forlookyou，Francis，yourwhitecanvasdoubletwillsully：inBarbary，sir，itcannotcometosomuch。FRANCISWhat，sir？POINS[Within]Francis！PRINCEHENRYAway，yourogue！dostthounothearthemcall？
Heretheybothcallhim;thedrawerstandsamazed，notknowingwhichwaytogoEnterVintnerVintnerWhat，standestthoustill，andhearestsuchacalling？Looktotheguestswithin。
ExitFrancisMylord，oldSirJohn，withhalf—a—dozenmore，areatthedoor：shallIletthemin？PRINCEHENRYLetthemaloneawhile，andthenopenthedoor。
ExitVintnerPoins！
Re—enterPOINSPOINSAnon，anon，sir。PRINCEHENRYSirrah，Falstaffandtherestofthethievesareatthedoor：shallwebemerry？POINSAsmerryascrickets，mylad。Butharkye;whatcunningmatchhaveyoumadewiththisjestofthedrawer？come，what’stheissue？PRINCEHENRYIamnowofallhumoursthathaveshowedthemselveshumourssincetheolddaysofgoodmanAdamtothepupilageofthispresenttwelveo’clockatmidnight。
Re—enterFRANCIS
What’so’clock，Francis？FRANCISAnon，anon，sir。
ExitPRINCEHENRYThateverthisfellowshouldhavefewerwordsthanaparrot，andyetthesonofawoman！Hisindustryisupstairsanddownstairs;hiseloquencetheparcelofareckoning。IamnotyetofPercy’smind，theHotspurofthenorth;hethatkillsmesomesixorsevendozenofScotsatabreakfast，washeshishands，andsaystohiswife’Fieuponthisquietlife！Iwantwork。’’OmysweetHarry，’saysshe，’howmanyhastthoukilledto—day？’’Givemyroanhorseadrench，’sayshe;andanswers’Somefourteen，’anhourafter;’atrifle，atrifle。’
I
prithee，callinFalstaff：I’llplayPercy，andthatdamnedbrawnshallplayDameMortimerhiswife。’Rivo！’saysthedrunkard。Callinribs，callintallow。
EnterFALSTAFF，GADSHILL，BARDOLPH，andPETO;FRANCISfollowingwithwinePOINSWelcome，Jack：wherehastthoubeen？FALSTAFFAplagueofallcowards，Isay，andavengeancetoo！
marry，andamen！Givemeacupofsack，boy。
EreI
leadthislifelong，I’llsewnetherstocksandmendthemandfootthemtoo。Aplagueofallcowards！
Givemeacupofsack，rogue。Istherenovirtueextant？
HedrinksPRINCEHENRYDidstthouneverseeTitankissadishofbutter？
pitiful—heartedTitan，thatmeltedatthesweettaleofthesun’s！ifthoudidst，thenbeholdthatcompound。FALSTAFFYourogue，here’slimeinthissacktoo：
thereisnothingbutroguerytobefoundinvillanousman：
yetacowardisworsethanacupofsackwithlimeinit。Avillanouscoward！Gothyways，oldJack;
diewhenthouwilt，ifmanhood，goodmanhood，benotforgotuponthefaceoftheearth，thenamIashottenherring。TherelivenotthreegoodmenunhangedinEngland;andoneofthemisfatandgrowsold：Godhelpthewhile！abadworld，I
say。
IwouldIwereaweaver;Icouldsingpsalmsoranything。Aplagueofallcowards，Isaystill。PRINCEHENRYHownow，wool—sack！whatmutteryou？FALSTAFFAking’sson！IfIdonotbeattheeoutofthykingdomwithadaggeroflath，anddriveallthysubjectsaforetheelikeaflockofwild—geese，I’llneverwearhaironmyfacemore。YouPrinceofWales！PRINCEHENRYWhy，youwhoresonroundman，what’sthematter？FALSTAFFArenotyouacoward？answermetothat：
andPoinsthere？POINS’Zounds，yefatpaunch，anyecallmecoward，bytheLord，I’llstabthee。FALSTAFFIcalltheecoward！I’llseetheedamnedereIcalltheecoward：butIwouldgiveathousandpoundI
couldrunasfastasthoucanst。Youarestraightenoughintheshoulders，youcarenotwhoseesyourback：callyouthatbackingofyourfriends？
A
plagueuponsuchbacking！givemethemthatwillfaceme。Givemeacupofsack：Iamarogue，ifI
drunkto—day。PRINCEHENRYOvillain！thylipsarescarcewipedsincethoudrunkestlast。FALSTAFFAll’soneforthat。
HedrinksAplagueofallcowards，stillsayI。PRINCEHENRYWhat’sthematter？FALSTAFFWhat’sthematter！therebefourofusherehaveta’enathousandpoundthisdaymorning。PRINCEHENRYWhereisit，Jack？whereisit？FALSTAFFWhereisit！takenfromusitis：ahundreduponpoorfourofus。PRINCEHENRYWhat，ahundred，man？FALSTAFFIamarogue，ifIwerenotathalf—swordwithadozenofthemtwohourstogether。Ihave’scapedbymiracle。Iameighttimesthrustthroughthedoublet，fourthroughthehose;mybucklercutthroughandthrough;myswordhackedlikeahand—saw——eccesignum！IneverdealtbettersinceIwasaman：allwouldnotdo。Aplagueofallcowards！Letthemspeak：iftheyspeakmoreorlessthantruth，theyarevillainsandthesonsofdarkness。PRINCEHENRYSpeak，sirs;howwasit？GADSHILLWefoursetuponsomedozen——FALSTAFFSixteenatleast，mylord。GADSHILLAndboundthem。PETONo，no，theywerenotbound。FALSTAFFYourogue，theywerebound，everymanofthem;orI
amaJewelse，anEbrewJew。GADSHILLAsweweresharing，somesixorsevenfreshmensetuponus——FALSTAFFAndunboundtherest，andthencomeintheother。PRINCEHENRYWhat，foughtyouwiththemall？FALSTAFFAll！Iknownotwhatyoucallall;butifIfoughtnotwithfiftyofthem，Iamabunchofradish：
iftherewerenottwoorthreeandfiftyuponpooroldJack，thenamInotwo—leggedcreature。PRINCEHENRYPrayGodyouhavenotmurderedsomeofthem。FALSTAFFNay，that’spastprayingfor：Ihavepepperedtwoofthem;twoIamsureIhavepaid，tworoguesinbuckramsuits。Itelltheewhat，Hal，ifI
telltheealie，spitinmyface，callmehorse。Thouknowestmyoldward;hereIlayandthusIboremypoint。Fourroguesinbuckramletdriveatme——PRINCEHENRYWhat，four？thousaidstbuttwoevennow。FALSTAFFFour，Hal;Itoldtheefour。POINSAy，ay，hesaidfour。FALSTAFFThesefourcamealla—front，andmainlythrustatme。Imademenomoreadobuttookalltheirsevenpointsinmytarget，thus。PRINCEHENRYSeven？why，therewerebutfourevennow。FALSTAFFInbuckram？POINSAy，four，inbuckramsuits。FALSTAFFSeven，bythesehilts，orIamavillainelse。PRINCEHENRYPrithee，lethimalone;weshallhavemoreanon。FALSTAFFDostthouhearme，Hal？PRINCEHENRYAy，andmarktheetoo，Jack。FALSTAFFDoso，foritisworththelisteningto。ThesenineinbuckramthatItoldtheeof——PRINCEHENRYSo，twomorealready。FALSTAFFTheirpointsbeingbroken，——POINSDownfelltheirhose。FALSTAFFBegantogivemeground：butIfollowedmeclose，cameinfootandhand;andwithathoughtsevenoftheelevenIpaid。PRINCEHENRYOmonstrous！elevenbuckrammengrownoutoftwo！FALSTAFFBut，asthedevilwouldhaveit，threemisbegottenknavesinKendalgreencameatmybackandletdriveatme;foritwassodark，Hal，thatthoucouldstnotseethyhand。PRINCEHENRYTheseliesareliketheirfatherthatbegetsthem;