第7章

SowasI。

Sheslippedonehandfree,andwasstrokingmyhairwithitinagentlemotherlyway。Ibowedmyhotheadonhershoulderandfeltadimsenseofpeace,arestfulnesswhichwasverypleasant。

\"Youmusttakemetheresomeday,darling,\"shewassaying。

\"ItisnotonlythatIloveyousomuch,Iwanttoseeyourcountry——yourpeople——yourmother——\"shepausedreverently。

\"Oh,howIshallloveyourmother!\"

Ihadnotbeeninlovemanytimes——myexperiencedidnotcomparewithTerry’s。ButsuchasIhadwassodifferentfromthisthatIwasperplexed,andfullofmixedfeelings:partlyagrowingsenseofcommongroundbetweenus,apleasantrestedcalmfeeling,whichIhadimaginedcouldonlybeattainedinoneway;andpartlyabewilderedresentmentbecausewhatIfoundwasnotwhatIhadlookedfor。

Itwastheirconfoundedpsychology!Heretheywerewiththisprofoundhighlydevelopedsystemofeducationsobredintothemthateveniftheywerenotteachersbyprofessiontheyallhadageneralproficiencyinit——itwassecondnaturetothem。

Andnochild,stormilydemandingacookie\"betweenmeals,\"

wasevermoresubtlydivertedintoaninterestinhouse—buildingthanwasIwhenIfoundanapparentlyimperativedemandhaddisappearedwithoutmynoticingit。

Andallthetimethosetendermothereyes,thosekeenscientificeyes,notingeveryconditionandcircumstance,andlearninghowto\"taketimebytheforelock\"andavoiddiscussionbeforeoccasionarose。

Iwasamazedattheresults。Ifoundthatmuch,verymuch,ofwhatIhadhonestlysupposedtobeaphysiologicalnecessitywasapsychologicalnecessity——orsobelieved。Ifound,aftermyideasofwhatwasessentialhadchanged,thatmyfeelingschangedalso。

Andmorethanall,Ifoundthis——afactorofenormousweight——thesewomenwerenotprovocative。Thatmadeanimmensedifference。

ThethingthatTerryhadsocomplainedofwhenwefirstcame——thattheyweren’t\"feminine,\"theylacked\"charm,\"nowbecameagreatcomfort。Theirvigorousbeautywasanaestheticpleasure,notanirritant。Theirdressandornamentshadnotatouchofthe\"come—and—find—me\"element。

EvenwithmyownEllador,mywife,whohadforatimeunveiledawoman’sheartandfacedthestrangenewhopeandjoyofdualparentage,sheafterwardwithdrewagainintothesamegoodcomradeshehadbeenatfirst。Theywerewomen,PLUS,andsomuchplusthatwhentheydidnotchoosetoletthewomannessappear,youcouldnotfinditanywhere。

Idon’tsayitwaseasyforme;itwasn’t。ButwhenImadeappealtohersympathiesIcameupagainstanotherimmovablewall。

Shewassorry,honestlysorry,formydistresses,andmadeallmannerofthoughtfulsuggestions,oftenquiteuseful,aswellasthewiseforesightIhavementionedabove,whichoftensavedalldifficultybeforeitarose;buthersympathydidnotalterherconvictions。

\"IfIthoughtitwasreallyrightandnecessary,Icouldperhapsbringmyselftoit,foryoursake,dear;butIdonotwantto——notatall。Youwouldnothaveameresubmission,wouldyou?

Thatisnotthekindofhighromanticloveyouspokeof,surely?

Itisapity,ofcourse,thatyoushouldhavetoadjustyourhighlyspecializedfacultiestoourunspecializedones。\"

Confoundit!Ihadn’tmarriedthenation,andItoldherso。

Butsheonlysmiledatherownlimitationsandexplainedthatshehadto\"thinkinwe’s。\"

Confounditagain!HereI’dhaveallmyenergiesfocusedononewish,andbeforeIknewitshe’dhavethemdissipatedinonedirectionoranother,somesubjectofdiscussionthatbeganjustatthepointIwastalkingaboutandendedmilesaway。

ItmustnotbeimaginedthatIwasjustrepelled,ignored,lefttocherishagrievance。Notatall。Myhappinesswasinthehandsofalarger,sweeterwomanhoodthanIhadeverimagined。Beforeourmarriagemyownardorhadperhapsblindedmetomuchofthis。

IwasmadlyinlovewithnotsomuchwhatwasthereaswithwhatIsupposedtobethere。NowIfoundanendlesslybeautifulundiscoveredcountrytoexplore,andinitthesweetestwisdomandunderstanding。ItwasasifIhadcometosomenewplaceandpeople,withadesiretoeatatallhours,andnootherinterestsinparticular;andasifmyhosts,insteadofmerelysaying,\"Youshallnoteat,\"hadpresentlyarousedinmealivelydesireformusic,forpictures,forgames,forexercise,forplayinginthewater,forrunningsomeingeniousmachine;and,inthemultitudeofmysatisfactions,Iforgottheonepointwhichwasnotsatisfied,andgotalongverywelluntilmealtime。

Oneofthecleverestandmostingeniousofthesetrickswasonlycleartomemanyyearsafter,whenweweresowhollyatoneonthissubjectthatIcouldlaughatmyownpredicamentthen。

Itwasthis:Yousee,withus,womenarekeptasdifferentaspossibleandasfeminineaspossible。Wemenhaveourownworld,withonlymeninit;wegettiredofourultra—malenessandturngladlytotheultra—femaleness。Also,inkeepingourwomenasfeminineaspossible,weseetoitthatwhenweturntothemwefindthethingwewantalwaysinevidence。Well,theatmosphereofthisplacewasanythingbutseductive。Theverynumbersofthesehumanwomen,alwaysinhumanrelation,madethemanythingbutalluring。When,inspiteofthis,myhereditaryinstinctsandrace—traditionsmademelongforthefeminineresponseinEllador,insteadofwithdrawingsothatIshouldwanthermore,shedeliberatelygavemealittletoomuchofhersociety。

——alwaysde—feminized,asitwere。Itwasawfullyfunny,really。

HerewasI,withanIdealinmind,forwhichIhotlylonged,andherewasshe,deliberatelyobtrudingintheforegroundofmyconsciousnessaFact——afactwhichIcoollyenjoyed,butwhichactuallyinterferedwithwhatIwanted。Iseenowclearlyenoughwhyacertainkindofman,likeSirAlmrothWright,resentstheprofessionaldevelopmentofwomen。Itgetsinthewayofthesexideal;ittemporarilycoversandexcludesfemininity。

Ofcourse,inthiscase,IwassofondofElladormyfriend,ofElladormyprofessionalcompanion,thatInecessarilyenjoyedhersocietyonanyterms。Only——whenIhadhadherwithmeinherde—femininecapacityforasixteen—hourday,Icouldgotomyownroomandsleepwithoutdreamingabouther。

Thewitch!Ifeveranybodyworkedtowooandwinandholdahumansoul,shedid,greatsuperwomanthatshewas。Icouldn’tthenhalfcomprehendtheskillofit,thewonder。ButthisIsoonbegantofind:thatunderallourcultivatedattitudeofmindtowardwomen,thereisanolder,deeper,more\"natural\"feeling,therestfulreverencewhichlooksuptotheMothersex。

Sowegrewtogetherinfriendshipandhappiness,ElladorandI,andsodidJeffandCelis。

WhenitcomestoTerry’spartofit,andAlima’s,I’msorry——

andI’mashamed。OfcourseIblamehersomewhat。Shewasn’tasfineapsychologistasEllador,andwhat’smore,Ithinkshehadafar—descendedatavistictraceofmoremarkedfemaleness,neverapparenttillTerrycalleditout。Butwhenallissaid,itdoesn’texcusehim。Ihadn’trealizedtothefullTerry’scharacter——Icouldn’t,beingaman。

Thepositionwasthesameaswithus,ofcourse,onlywiththesedistinctions。Alima,ashademorealluring,andseveralshadeslessableasapracticalpsychologist;Terry,ahundredfoldmoredemanding——andproportionatelylessreasonable。

Thingsgrewstrainedverysoonbetweenthem。Ifancyatfirst,whentheyweretogether,inhergreathopeofparentageandhiskeenjoyofconquest——thatTerrywasinconsiderate。Infact,Iknowit,fromthingshesaid。

\"Youneedn’ttalktome,\"hesnappedatJeffoneday,justbeforeourweddings。\"ThereneverwasawomanyetthatdidnotenjoybeingMASTERED。Allyourprettytalkdoesn’tamounttoahillo’beans——IKNOW。\"AndTerrywouldhum:

I’vetakenmyfunwhereIfoundit。

I’veroguedandI’verangedinmytime,andThethingsthatIlearnedfromtheyellowandblack,They’avehelpedmea’eapwiththewhite。

Jeffturnedsharplyandlefthimatthetime。Iwasabitdisquietedmyself。

PooroldTerry!Thethingshe’dlearneddidn’thelphimaheapinHerland。Hisideawastotake——hethoughtthatwastheway。

Hethought,hehonestlybelieved,thatwomenlikeit。NotthewomenofHerland!NotAlima!

Icanseehernow——onedayintheveryfirstweekoftheirmarriage,settingforthtoherday’sworkwithlongdeterminedstridesandhard—setmouth,andstickingclosetoEllador。

Shedidn’twishtobealonewithTerry——youcouldseethat。

Butthemoreshekeptawayfromhim,themorehewantedher——naturally。

Hemadeatremendousrowabouttheirseparateestablishments,triedtokeepherinhisrooms,triedtostayinhers。Butthereshedrewthelinesharply。

Hecameawayonenight,andstampedupanddownthemoonlitroad,swearingunderhisbreath。Iwastakingawalkthatnighttoo,butIwasn’tinhisstateofmind。Tohearhimrageyou’dnothavebelievedthathelovedAlimaatall——you’dhavethoughtthatshewassomequarryhewaspursuing,somethingtocatchandconquer。

Ithinkthat,owingtoallthosedifferencesIspokeof,theysoonlostthecommongroundtheyhadatfirst,andwereunabletomeetsanelyanddispassionately。Ifancytoo——thisispureconjecture——thathehadsucceededindrivingAlimabeyondherbestjudgment,herrealconscience,andthatafterthatherownsenseofshame,thereactionofthething,madeherbitterperhaps。

Theyquarreled,reallyquarreled,andaftermakingituponceortwice,theyseemedtocometoarealbreak——shewouldnotbealonewithhimatall。Andperhapsshewasabitnervous,Idon’tknow,butshegotMoadinetocomeandstaynextdoortoher。Also,shehadasturdyassistantdetailedtoaccompanyherinherwork。

Terryhadhisownideas,asI’vetriedtoshow。Idaresayhethoughthehadarighttodoashedid。Perhapsheevenconvincedhimselfthatitwouldbebetterforher。Anyhow,hehidhimselfinherbedroomonenight……

ThewomenofHerlandhavenofearofmen。Whyshouldtheyhave?Theyarenottimidinanysense。Theyarenotweak;

andtheyallhavestrongtrainedathleticbodies。OthellocouldnothaveextinguishedAlimawithapillow,asifshewereamouse。

Terryputinpracticehispetconvictionthatawomanlovestobemastered,andbysheerbruteforce,inalltheprideandpassionofhisintensemasculinity,hetriedtomasterthiswoman。

Itdidnotwork。IgotaprettyclearaccountofitlaterfromEllador,butwhatweheardatthetimewasthenoiseofatremendousstruggle,andAlimacallingtoMoadine。Moadinewasclosebyandcameatonce;oneortwomorestronggravewomenfollowed。

Terrydashedaboutlikeamadman;hewouldcheerfullyhavekilledthem——hetoldmethat,himself——buthecouldn’t。Whenheswungachairoverhisheadonesprangintheairandcaughtit,twothrewthemselvesbodilyuponhimandforcedhimtothefloor;

itwasonlytheworkofafewmomentstohavehimtiedhandandfoot,andthen,insheerpityforhisfutilerage,toanesthetizehim。

Alimawasinacoldfury。Shewantedhimkilled——actually。

TherewasatrialbeforethelocalOverMother,andthiswoman,whodidnotenjoybeingmastered,statedhercase。

Inacourtinourcountryhewouldhavebeenheldquite\"withinhisrights,\"ofcourse。Butthiswasnotourcountry;itwastheirs。Theyseemedtomeasuretheenormityoftheoffensebyitseffectuponapossiblefatherhood,andhescornedeventoreplytothiswayofputtingit。

Hedidlethimselfgoonce,andexplainedindefinitetermsthattheywereincapableofunderstandingaman’sneeds,aman’sdesires,aman’spointofview。Hecalledthemneuters,epicenes,bloodless,sexlesscreatures。Hesaidtheycouldofcoursekillhim——assomanyinsectscould——butthathedespisedthemnonetheless。

Andallthosesterngravemothersdidnotseemtomindhisdespisingthem,notintheleast。

Itwasalongtrial,andmanyinterestingpointswerebroughtoutastotheirviewsofourhabits,andafterawhileTerryhadhissentence。Hewaited,grimanddefiant。Thesentencewas:

\"Youmustgohome!\"

CHAPTER12

ExpelledWehadallmeanttogohomeagain。IndeedwehadNOTmeant——notbyanymeans——tostayaslongaswehad。Butwhenitcametobeingturnedout,dismissed,sentawayforbadconduct,wenoneofusreallylikedit。

Terrysaidhedid。Heprofessedgreatscornofthepenaltyandthetrial,aswellasalltheothercharacteristicsof\"thismiserablehalf—country。\"Butheknew,andweknew,thatinany\"whole\"

countryweshouldneverhavebeenasforgivinglytreatedaswehadbeenhere。

\"Ifthepeoplehadcomeafterusaccordingtothedirectionsweleft,there’dhavebeenquiteadifferentstory!\"saidTerry。

Wefoundoutlaterwhynoreservepartyhadarrived。Allourcarefuldirectionshadbeendestroyedinafire。Wemighthavealldiedthereandnooneathomehaveeverknownourwhereabouts。

Terrywasunderguardnow,allthetime,knownasunsafe,convictedofwhatwastothemanunpardonablesin。

Helaughedattheirchillhorror。\"Parcelofoldmaids!\"hecalledthem。\"They’realloldmaids——childrenornot。Theydon’tknowthefirstthingaboutSex。\"

WhenTerrysaidSEX,sexwithaverylarge_S_,hemeantthemalesex,naturally;itsspecialvalues,itsprofoundconvictionofbeing\"thelifeforce,\"itscheerfulignoringofthetruelifeprocess,anditsinterpretationoftheothersexsolelyfromitsownpointofview。

IhadlearnedtoseethesethingsverydifferentlysincelivingwithEllador;andasforJeff,hewassothoroughlyHerlandizedthathewasn’tfairtoTerry,whofrettedsharplyinhisnewrestraint。

Moadine,graveandstrong,assadlypatientasamotherwithadegeneratechild,keptsteadywatchonhim,withenoughotherwomencloseathandtopreventanoutbreak。Hehadnoweapons,andwellknewthatallhisstrengthwasofsmallavailagainstthosegrim,quietwomen。

Wewereallowedtovisithimfreely,buthehadonlyhisroom,andasmallhigh—walledgardentowalkin,whilethepreparationsforourdeparturewereunderway。

Threeofusweretogo:Terry,becausehemust;I,becausetwoweresaferforourflyer,andthelongboattriptothecoast;

Ellador,becauseshewouldnotletmegowithouther。

IfJeffhadelectedtoreturn,Celiswouldhavegonetoo——theywerethemostabsorbedoflovers;butJeffhadnodesirethatway。

\"WhyshouldIwanttogobacktoallournoiseanddirt,ourviceandcrime,ourdiseaseanddegeneracy?\"hedemandedofmeprivately。Weneverspokelikethatbeforethewomen。

\"Iwouldn’ttakeCelisthereforanythingonearth!\"heprotested。

\"She’ddie!She’ddieofhorrorandshametoseeourslumsandhospitals。HowcanyouriskitwithEllador?You’dbetterbreakittohergentlybeforeshereallymakesuphermind。\"

Jeffwasright。IoughttohavetoldhermorefullythanIdid,ofallthethingswehadtobeashamedof。Butitisveryhardtobridgethegulfofasdeepadifferenceasexistedbetweenourlifeandtheirs。Itriedto。

\"Lookhere,mydear,\"Isaidtoher。\"Ifyouarereallygoingtomycountrywithme,you’vegottobepreparedforagoodmanyshocks。It’snotasbeautifulasthis——thecities,Imean,thecivilizedparts——ofcoursethewildcountryis。\"

\"Ishallenjoyitall,\"shesaid,hereyesstarrywithhope。

\"Iunderstandit’snotlikeours。Icanseehowmonotonousourquietlifemustseemtoyou,howmuchmorestirringyoursmustbe。

Itmustbelikethebiologicalchangeyoutoldmeaboutwhenthesecondsexwasintroduced——afargreatermovement,constantchange,withnewpossibilitiesofgrowth。\"

Ihadtoldherofthelaterbiologicaltheoriesofsex,andshewasdeeplyconvincedofthesuperioradvantagesofhavingtwo,thesuperiorityofaworldwithmeninit。

\"Wehavedonewhatwecouldalone;perhapswehavesomethingsbetterinaquietway,butyouhavethewholeworld——allthepeopleofthedifferentnations——allthelongrichhistorybehindyou——allthewonderfulnewknowledge。Oh,Ijustcan’twaittoseeit!\"

WhatcouldIdo?Itoldherinsomanywordsthatwehadourunsolvedproblems,thatwehaddishonestyandcorruption,viceandcrime,diseaseandinsanity,prisonsandhospitals;anditmadenomoreimpressiononherthanitwouldtotellaSouthSeaIslanderaboutthetemperatureoftheArcticCircle。Shecouldintellectuallyseethatitwasbadtohavethosethings;butshecouldnotFEELit。

WehadquiteeasilycometoaccepttheHerlandlifeasnormal,becauseitwasnormal——noneofusmakeanyoutcryovermerehealthandpeaceandhappyindustry。Andtheabnormal,towhichweareallsosadlywellacclimated,shehadneverseen。

Thetwothingsshecaredmosttohearabout,andwantedmosttosee,werethese:thebeautifulrelationofmarriageandthelovelywomenwhoweremothersandnothingelse;beyondtheseherkeen,activemindhungeredeagerlyfortheworldlife。

\"I’malmostasanxioustogoasyouareyourself,\"sheinsisted,\"andyoumustbedesperatelyhomesick。\"

Iassuredherthatnoonecouldbehomesickinsuchaparadiseastheirs,butshewouldhavenoneofit。

\"Oh,yes——Iknow。It’slikethoselittletropicalislandsyou’vetoldmeabout,shininglikejewelsinthebigbluesea——Ican’twaittoseethesea!Thelittleislandmaybeasperfectasagarden,butyoualwayswanttogetbacktoyourownbigcountry,don’tyou?

Evenifitisbadinsomeways?\"

Elladorwasmorethanwilling。Buttheneareritcametoourreallygoing,andtomyhavingtotakeherbacktoour\"civilization,\"

afterthecleanpeaceandbeautyoftheirs,themoreIbegantodreadit,andthemoreItriedtoexplain。

OfcourseIhadbeenhomesickatfirst,whilewewereprisoners,beforeIhadEllador。AndofcourseIhad,atfirst,ratheridealizedmycountryanditsways,indescribingit。Also,Ihadalwaysacceptedcertainevilsasintegralpartsofourcivilizationandneverdweltonthematall。EvenwhenItriedtotellhertheworst,Ineverrememberedsomethings——which,whenshecametoseethem,impressedheratonce,astheyhadneverimpressedme。

Now,inmyeffortsatexplanation,IbegantoseebothwaysmorekeenlythanIhadbefore;toseethepainfuldefectsofmyownland,themarvelousgainsofthis。

Inmissingmenwethreevisitorshadnaturallymissedthelargerpartoflife,andhadunconsciouslyassumedthattheymustmissittoo。Ittookmealongtimetorealize——Terryneverdidrealize——howlittleitmeanttothem。WhenwesayMEN,MAN,MANLY,MANHOOD,andalltheothermasculinederivatives,wehaveinthebackgroundofourmindsahugevaguecrowdedpictureoftheworldandallitsactivities。Togrowupand\"beaman,\"

to\"actlikeaman\"——themeaningandconnotationiswideindeed。

Thatvastbackgroundisfullofmarchingcolumnsofmen,ofchanginglinesofmen,oflongprocessionsofmen;ofmensteeringtheirshipsintonewseas,exploringunknownmountains,breakinghorses,herdingcattle,ploughingandsowingandreaping,toilingattheforgeandfurnace,digginginthemine,buildingroadsandbridgesandhighcathedrals,managinggreatbusinesses,teachinginallthecolleges,preachinginallthechurches;

ofmeneverywhere,doingeverything——\"theworld。\"

AndwhenwesayWOMEN,wethinkFEMALE——thesex。

Buttothesewomen,intheunbrokensweepofthistwo—

thousand—year—oldfemininecivilization,thewordWOMANcalledupallthatbigbackground,sofarastheyhadgoneinsocialdevelopment;andthewordMANmeanttothemonlyMALE——thesex。

OfcoursewecouldTELLthemthatinourworldmendideverything;butthatdidnotalterthebackgroundoftheirminds。

Thatman,\"themale,\"didallthesethingswastothemastatement,makingnomorechangeinthepointofviewthanwasmadeinourswhenwefirstfacedtheastoundingfact——tous——thatinHerlandwomenwere\"theworld。\"

Wehadbeenlivingtheremorethanayear。Wehadlearnedtheirlimitedhistory,withitsstraight,smooth,upreachinglines,reachinghigherandgoingfasteruptothesmoothcomfortoftheirpresentlife。Wehadlearnedalittleoftheirpsychology,amuchwiderfieldthanthehistory,butherewecouldnotfollowsoreadily。Wewerenowwellusedtoseeingwomennotasfemalesbutaspeople;peopleofallsorts,doingeverykindofwork。

ThisoutbreakofTerry’s,andthestrongreactionagainstit,gaveusanewlightontheirgenuinefemininity。ThiswasgivenmewithgreatclearnessbybothElladorandSomel。Thefeelingwasthesame——sickrevulsionandhorror,suchaswouldbefeltatsomeclimacticblasphemy。

Theyhadnofaintestapproachtosuchathingintheirminds,knowingnothingofthecustomofmaritalindulgenceamongus。

Tothemtheonehighpurposeofmotherhoodhadbeenforsolongthegoverninglawoflife,andthecontributionofthefather,thoughknowntothem,sodistinctlyanothermethodtothesameend,thattheycouldnot,withalltheireffort,getthepointofviewofthemalecreaturewhosedesiresquiteignoreparentageandseekonlyforwhatweeuphoniouslyterm\"thejoysoflove。\"

WhenItriedtotellElladorthatwomentoofeltso,withus,shedrewawayfromme,andtriedhardtograspintellectuallywhatshecouldinnowaysympathizewith。

\"Youmean——thatwithyou——lovebetweenmanandwomanexpressesitselfinthatway——withoutregardtomotherhood?

Toparentage,Imean,\"sheaddedcarefully。

\"Yes,surely。Itislovewethinkof——thedeepsweetlovebetweentwo。Ofcoursewewantchildren,andchildrencome——

butthatisnotwhatwethinkabout。\"

\"But——but——itseemssoagainstnature!\"shesaid。\"Noneofthecreaturesweknowdothat。Dootheranimals——inyourcountry?\"

\"Wearenotanimals!\"Irepliedwithsomesharpness。

\"Atleastwearesomethingmore——somethinghigher。Thisisafarnoblerandmorebeautifulrelation,asIhaveexplainedbefore。

Yourviewseemstousrather——shallIsay,practical?Prosaic?

Merelyameanstoanend!Withus——oh,mydeargirl——cannotyousee?Cannotyoufeel?Itisthelast,sweetest,highestconsummationofmutuallove。\"

Shewasimpressedvisibly。Shetrembledinmyarms,asIheldherclose,kissingherhungrily。ButthereroseinhereyesthatlookIknewsowell,thatremoteclearlookasifshehadgonefarawayeventhoughIheldherbeautifulbodysoclose,andwasnowonsomesnowymountainregardingmefromadistance。

\"Ifeelitquiteclearly,\"shesaidtome。\"Itgivesmeadeepsympathywithwhatyoufeel,nodoubtmorestronglystill。ButwhatIfeel,evenwhatyoufeel,dearest,doesnotconvincemethatitisright。UntilIamsureofthat,ofcourseIcannotdoasyouwish。\"

Ellador,attimeslikethis,alwaysremindedmeofEpictetus。

\"Iwillputyouinprison!\"saidhismaster。\"Mybody,youmean,\"

repliedEpictetuscalmly。\"Iwillcutyourheadoff,\"saidhismaster。\"HaveIsaidthatmyheadcouldnotbecutoff?\"A

difficultperson,Epictetus。

Whatisthismiraclebywhichawoman,eveninyourarms,maywithdrawherself,utterlydisappeartillwhatyouholdisasinaccessibleasthefaceofacliff?

\"Bepatientwithme,dear,\"sheurgedsweetly。\"Iknowitishardforyou。AndIbegintosee——alittle——howTerrywassodriventocrime。\"

\"Oh,come,that’saprettyhardwordforit。Afterall,Alimawashiswife,youknow,\"Iurged,feelingatthemomentasuddenburstofsympathyforpoorTerry。Foramanofhistemperament——andhabits——itmusthavebeenanunbearablesituation。

ButEllador,forallherwideintellectualgrasp,andthebroadsympathyinwhichtheirreligiontrainedthem,couldnotmakeallowanceforsuch——toher——sacrilegiousbrutality。

Itwasthemoredifficulttoexplaintoher,becausewethree,inourconstanttalksandlecturesabouttherestoftheworld,hadnaturallyavoidedtheseamyside;notsomuchfromadesiretodeceive,butfromwishingtoputthebestfootforemostforourcivilization,inthefaceofthebeautyandcomfortoftheirs。Also,wereallythoughtsomethingswereright,oratleastunavoidable,whichwecouldreadilyseewouldberepugnanttothem,andthereforedidnotdiscuss。Againtherewasmuchofourworld’slifewhichwe,beingusedtoit,hadnotnoticedasanythingworthdescribing。Andstillfurther,therewasaboutthesewomenacolossalinnocenceuponwhichmanyofthethingswedidsayhadmadenoimpressionwhatever。

IamthusexplicitaboutitbecauseitshowshowunexpectedlystrongwastheimpressionmadeuponElladorwhensheatlastenteredourcivilization。

Sheurgedmetobepatient,andIwaspatient。Yousee,Ilovedhersomuchthateventherestrictionsshesofirmlyestablishedleftmemuchhappiness。Wewerelovers,andthereissurelydelightenoughinthat。

Donotimaginethattheseyoungwomenutterlyrefused\"theGreatNewHope,\"astheycalledit,thatofdualparentage。Forthattheyhadagreedtomarryus,thoughthemarryingpartofitwasaconcessiontoourprejudicesratherthantheirs。Tothemtheprocesswastheholything——andtheymeanttokeepitholy。

ButsofaronlyCelis,herblueeyesswimminginhappytears,herheartliftedwiththattideofrace—motherhoodwhichwastheirsupremepassion,couldwithineffablejoyandprideannouncethatshewastobeamother。\"TheNewMotherhood\"theycalledit,andthewholecountryknew。Therewasnopleasure,noservice,nohonorinallthelandthatCelismightnothavehad。Almostlikethebreathlessreverencewithwhich,twothousandyearsago,thatdwindlingbandofwomenhadwatchedthemiracleofvirginbirth,wasthedeepaweandwarmexpectancywithwhichtheygreetedthisnewmiracleofunion。

Allmothersinthatlandwereholy。Tothem,forlongages,theapproachtomotherhoodhasbeenbythemostintenseandexquisiteloveandlonging,bytheSupremeDesire,theovermasteringdemandforachild。Everythoughttheyheldinconnectionwiththeprocessesofmaternitywasopentotheday,simpleyetsacred。Everywomanofthemplacedmotherhoodnotonlyhigherthanotherduties,butsofarhigherthattherewerenootherduties,onemightalmostsay。

Alltheirwidemutuallove,allthesubtleinterplayofmutualfriendshipandservice,theurgeofprogressivethoughtandinvention,thedeepestreligiousemotion,everyfeelingandeveryactwasrelatedtothisgreatcentralPower,totheRiverofLifepouringthroughthem,whichmadethemthebearersoftheverySpiritofGod。

OfallthisIlearnedmoreandmore——fromtheirbooks,fromtalk,especiallyfromEllador。Shewasatfirst,forabriefmoment,enviousofherfriend——athoughtsheputawayfromheratonceandforever。

\"Itisbetter,\"shesaidtome。\"Itismuchbetterthatithasnotcometomeyet——tous,thatis。ForifIamtogowithyoutoyourcountry,wemayhave`adventuresbyseaandland,’asyousay[andasintruthwedid],anditmightnotbeatallsafeforababy。

Sowewon’ttryagain,dear,tillitissafe——willwe?\"

Thiswasahardsayingforaverylovinghusband。

\"Unless,\"shewenton,\"ifoneiscoming,youwillleavemebehind。

Youcancomeback,youknow——andIshallhavethechild。\"

Thenthatdeepancientchillofmalejealousyofevenhisownprogenytouchedmyheart。

\"I’dratherhaveyou,Ellador,thanallthechildrenintheworld。

I’dratherhaveyouwithme——onyourownterms——thannottohaveyou。\"

Thiswasaverystupidsaying。OfcourseIwould!Forifshewasn’tthereIshouldwantallofherandhavenoneofher。Butifshewentalongasasortofsublimatedsister——onlymuchcloserandwarmerthanthat,really——whyIshouldhaveallofherbutthatonething。AndIwasbeginningtofindthatEllador’sfriendship,Ellador’scomradeship,Ellador’ssisterlyaffection,Ellador’sperfectlysincerelove——nonethelessdeepthatshehelditbackonadefinitelineofreserve——wereenoughtoliveonveryhappily。

Ifinditquitebeyondmetodescribewhatthiswomanwastome。Wetalkfinethingsaboutwomen,butinourheartsweknowthattheyareverylimitedbeings——mostofthem。

Wehonorthemfortheirfunctionalpowers,evenwhilewedishonorthembyouruseofit;wehonorthemfortheircarefullyenforcedvirtue,evenwhileweshowbyourownconducthowlittlewethinkofthatvirtue;wevaluethem,sincerely,forthepervertedmaternalactivitieswhichmakeourwivesthemostcomfortableofservants,boundtousforlifewiththewageswhollyatourowndecision,theirwholebusiness,outsideofthetemporarydutiesofsuchmotherhoodastheymayachieve,tomeetourneedsineveryway。Oh,wevaluethem,allright,\"intheirplace,\"

whichplaceisthehome,wheretheyperformthatmixtureofdutiessoablydescribedbyMrs。JosephineDodgeDaskamBacon,inwhichtheservicesof\"amistress\"arecarefullyspecified。

Sheisaveryclearwriter,Mrs。J。D。D。Bacon,andunderstandshersubject——fromherownpointofview。But——thatcombinationofindustries,whileconvenient,andinawayeconomical,doesnotarousethekindofemotioncommandedbythewomenofHerland。

Thesewerewomenonehadtolove\"up,\"veryhighup,insteadofdown。

Theywerenotpets。Theywerenotservants。Theywerenottimid,inexperienced,weak。

AfterIgotoverthejartomypride(whichJeff,Itrulythink,neverfelt——hewasabornworshipper,andwhichTerrynevergotover——hewasquiteclearinhisideasof\"thepositionofwomen\"),Ifoundthatloving\"up\"wasaverygoodsensationafterall。

Itgavemeaqueerfeeling,waydowndeep,asofthestirringofsomeancientdimprehistoricconsciousness,afeelingthattheywererightsomehow——thatthiswasthewaytofeel。Itwaslike——cominghometomother。Idon’tmeantheunderflannels—

and—doughnutsmother,thefussypersonthatwaitsonyouandspoilsyouanddoesn’treallyknowyou。Imeanthefeelingthataverylittlechildwouldhave,whohadbeenlost——foreversolong。Itwasasenseofgettinghome;ofbeingcleanandrested;

ofsafetyandyetfreedom;oflovethatwasalwaysthere,warmlikesunshineinMay,nothotlikeastoveorafeatherbed——alovethatdidn’tirritateanddidn’tsmother。

IlookedatElladorasifIhadn’tseenherbefore。\"Ifyouwon’tgo,\"Isaid,\"I’llgetTerrytothecoastandcomebackalone。

Youcanletmedownarope。Andifyouwillgo——whyyoublessedwonder—woman——Iwouldratherlivewithyouallmylife——likethis——thantohaveanyotherwomanIeversaw,oranynumberofthem,todoasIlikewith。Willyoucome?\"

Shewaskeenforcoming。Sotheplanswenton。She’dhavelikedtowaitforthatMarvelofCelis’s,butTerryhadnosuchdesire。

Hewascrazytobeoutofitall。Itmadehimsick,hesaid,SICK;

thiseverlastingmother—mother—mothering。Idon’tthinkTerryhadwhatthephrenologistscall\"thelumpofphiloprogenitiveness\"

atallwelldeveloped。

\"Morbidone—sidedcripples,\"hecalledthem,evenwhenfromhiswindowhecouldseetheirsplendidvigorandbeauty;

evenwhileMoadine,aspatientandfriendlyasifshehadneverhelpedAlimatoholdandbindhim,satthereintheroom,thepictureofwisdomandserenestrength。\"Sexless,epicene,undevelopedneuters!\"hewentonbitterly。HesoundedlikeSirAlmwrothWright。

Well——itwashard。HewasmadlyinlovewithAlima,really;

moresothanhehadeverbeenbefore,andtheirtempestuouscourtship,quarrels,andreconciliationshadfannedtheflame。

Andthenwhenhesoughtbythatsupremeconquestwhichseemssonaturalathingtothattypeofman,toforcehertolovehimashermaster——tohavethesturdyathleticfuriouswomanriseupandmasterhim——sheandherfriends——itwasnowonderheraged。

Cometothinkofit,Idonotrecallasimilarcaseinallhistoryorfiction。Womenhavekilledthemselvesratherthansubmittooutrage;theyhavekilledtheoutrager;theyhaveescaped;ortheyhavesubmitted——sometimesseemingtogetonverywellwiththevictorafterward。Therewasthatadventureof\"falseSextus,\"forinstance,who\"foundLucresecombingthefleece,underthemidnightlamp。\"Hethreatened,asIremember,thatifshedidnotsubmithewouldslayher,slayaslaveandplacehimbesideherandsayhefoundhimthere。Apoordevice,italwaysseemedtome。

IfMr。Lucretiushadaskedhimhowhecametobeinhiswife’sbedroomoverlookinghermorals,whatcouldhehavesaid?

ButthepointisLucresesubmitted,andAlimadidn’t。

\"Shekickedme,\"confidedtheembitteredprisoner——hehadtotalktosomeone。\"Iwasdoubledupwiththepain,ofcourse,andshejumpedonmeandyelledforthisoldharpy[Moadinecouldn’thearhim]andtheyhadmetrussedupinnotime。

IbelieveAlimacouldhavedoneitalone,\"headdedwithreluctantadmiration。\"She’sasstrongasahorse。Andofcourseaman’shelplesswhenyouhithimlikethat。Nowomanwithashadeofdecency——\"

Ihadtogrinatthat,andevenTerrydid,sourly。Hewasn’tgiventoreasoning,butitdidstrikehimthatanassaultlikehisratherwaivedconsiderationsofdecency。

\"I’dgiveayearofmylifetohaveheraloneagain,\"hesaidslowly,hishandsclenchedtilltheknuckleswerewhite。

Butheneverdid。Sheleftourendofthecountryentirely,wentupintothefir—forestonthehighestslopes,andstayedthere。

Beforewelefthequitedesperatelylongedtoseeher,butshewouldnotcomeandhecouldnotgo。Theywatchedhimlikelynxes。

(Dolynxeswatchanybetterthanmousingcats,Iwonder!)

Well——wehadtogettheflyerinorder,andbesuretherewasenoughfuelleft,thoughTerrysaidwecouldglideallright,downtothatlake,oncewegotstarted。We’dhavegonegladlyinaweek’stime,ofcourse,buttherewasagreatto—doalloverthecountryaboutEllador’sleavingthem。Shehadinterviewswithsomeoftheleadingethicists——wisewomenwithstilleyes,andwiththebestoftheteachers。Therewasastir,athrill,adeepexcitementeverywhere。

Ourteachingabouttherestoftheworldhasgiventhemallasenseofisolation,ofremoteness,ofbeingalittleoutlyingsampleofacountry,overlookedandforgottenamongthefamilyofnations。Wehadcalledit\"thefamilyofnations,\"andtheylikedthephraseimmensely。

Theyweredeeplyarousedonthesubjectofevolution;indeed,thewholefieldofnaturalsciencedrewthemirresistibly。

Anynumberofthemwouldhaveriskedeverythingtogotothestrangeunknownlandsandstudy;butwecouldtakeonlyone,andithadtobeEllador,naturally。

Weplannedgreatlyaboutcomingback,aboutestablishingaconnectingroutebywater;aboutpenetratingthosevastforestsandcivilizing——orexterminating——thedangeroussavages。

Thatis,wementalkedofthatlast——notwiththewomen。

Theyhadadefiniteaversiontokillingthings。

Butmeanwhiletherewashighcouncilbeingheldamongthewisestofthemall。Thestudentsandthinkerswhohadbeengatheringfactsfromusallthistime,collatingandrelatingthem,andmakinginferences,laidtheresultoftheirlaborsbeforethecouncil。

Littlehadwethoughtthatourcarefuleffortsatconcealmenthadbeensoeasilyseenthrough,withneverawordtoshowusthattheysaw。Theyhadfollowedupwordsofoursonthescienceofoptics,askedinnocentquestionsaboutglassesandthelike,andwereawareofthedefectiveeyesightsocommonamongus。

Withthelightesttouch,differentwomenaskingdifferentquestionsatdifferenttimes,andputtingallouranswerstogetherlikeapicturepuzzle,theyhadfiguredoutasortofskeletonchartastotheprevalenceofdiseaseamongus。Evenmoresubtlywithnoshowofhorrororcondemnation,theyhadgatheredsomething——farfromthetruth,butsomethingprettyclear——aboutpoverty,vice,andcrime。Theyevenhadagoodlynumberofourdangersallitemized,fromaskingusaboutinsuranceandinnocentthingslikethat。

Theywerewellpostedastothedifferentraces,beginningwiththeirpoison—arrownativesdownbelowandwideningouttothebroadracialdivisionswehadtoldthemabout。Neverashockedexpressionofthefaceorexclamationofrevolthadwarnedus;theyhadbeenextractingtheevidencewithoutourknowingitallthistime,andnowwerestudyingwiththemostdevoutearnestnessthemattertheyhadprepared。

Theresultwasratherdistressingtous。TheyfirstexplainedthematterfullytoEllador,asshewastheonewhopurposedvisitingtheRestoftheWorld。ToCelistheysaidnothing。Shemustnotbeinanywaydistressed,whilethewholenationwaitedonherGreatWork。

FinallyJeffandIwerecalledin。SomelandZavawerethere,andEllador,withmanyothersthatweknew。

Theyhadagreatglobe,quitefairlymappedoutfromthesmallsectionmapsinthatcompendiumofours。Theyhadthedifferentpeoplesoftheearthroughlyoutlined,andtheirstatusincivilizationindicated。Theyhadchartsandfiguresandestimates,basedonthefactsinthattraitorouslittlebookandwhattheyhadlearnedfromus。

Somelexplained:\"Wefindthatinallyourhistoricperiod,somuchlongerthanours,thatwithalltheinterplayofservices,theexchangeofinventionsanddiscoveries,andthewonderfulprogresswesoadmire,thatinthiswidespreadOtherWorldofyours,thereisstillmuchdisease,oftencontagious。\"

Weadmittedthisatonce。

\"Alsothereisstill,invaryingdegree,ignorance,withprejudiceandunbridledemotion。\"

Thistoowasadmitted。

\"Wefindalsothatinspiteoftheadvanceofdemocracyandtheincreaseofwealth,thatthereisstillunrestandsometimescombat。\"

Yes,yes,weadmitteditall。Wewereusedtothesethingsandsawnoreasonforsomuchseriousness。

\"Allthingsconsidered,\"theysaid,andtheydidnotsayahundredthpartofthethingstheywereconsidering,\"weareunwillingtoexposeourcountrytofreecommunicationwiththerestoftheworld——asyet。IfElladorcomesback,andweapproveherreport,itmaybedonelater——butnotyet。

\"Sowehavethistoaskofyougentlemen[theyknewthatwordwasheldatitleofhonorwithus],thatyoupromisenotinanywaytobetraythelocationofthiscountryuntilpermission——afterEllador’sreturn。\"

Jeffwasperfectlysatisfied。Hethoughttheywerequiteright。

Healwaysdid。IneversawanalienbecomenaturalizedmorequicklythanthatmaninHerland。

Istudieditawhile,thinkingofthetimethey’dhaveifsomeofourcontagionsgotloosethere,andconcludedtheywereright。

SoIagreed。

Terrywastheobstacle。\"IndeedIwon’t!\"heprotested。\"ThefirstthingI’lldoistogetanexpeditionfixeduptoforceanentranceintoMa—land。\"

\"Then,\"theysaidquitecalmly,\"hemustremainanabsoluteprisoner,always。\"

\"Anesthesiawouldbekinder,\"urgedMoadine。

\"Andsafer,\"addedZava。

\"Hewillpromise,Ithink,\"saidEllador。

Andhedid。WithwhichagreementweatlastleftHerland。