Butthestrangestpartofitwastheunexpectedsequel。Idon’tknowthroughwhaterroroftheDean’sfiguresithappened，throughwhatlackofmathematicaltrainingthethingturnedoutasitdid。Nodoubtthememoryofthemathematicalprofessorwasheavilytoblameforit，butthesolidfactisthattheChurchofEnglandChurchofMariposaturnedouttobeinsuredforahundredthousand，andtherewerethereceiptsandthevouchers，allsignedandregular，justastheyfoundtheminadraweroftherector’sstudy。Therewasnodoubtaboutit。Theinsurancepeoplemightprotestastheyliked。Thestraight，plainfactwasthatthechurchwasinsuredforabouttwicethewholeamountofthecostandthedebtandtherector’ssalaryandtheboarding—schoolfeesofthelittlestoftheDronesallputtogether。
TherewasaWhirlwindCampaignforyou！Talkofraisingmoney，——thatwassomethinglike！IwonderiftheuniversitiesandthecityinstitutionsthatgoroundtryingtoraisemoneybytheslowandpainfulmethodcalledaWhirlwindCampaign，thattakesperhapsalldaytoraisefiftythousanddollars，everthoughtofanythingsobeautifullysimpleasthis。
TheGreaterTestimonythathadlainsoheavilyonthecongregationwentflamingtoitsend，andburnedupitsdebtsanditsobligationsandenricheditsworshippersbyitsdestruction。Talkofabeacononahill！Youcanhardlybeatthatone。
IwishyoucouldhaveseenhowthewardensandthesidesmenandMullins，thechairmanofthevestry，smiledandchuckledatthethoughtofit。Hadn’ttheysaidallalongthatallthatwasneededwasalittlefaithandeffort？Andhereitwas，justastheysaid，andthey’dbeenrightafterall。
Protestfromtheinsurancepeople？Legalproceedingstopreventpayment？Mydearsir！IseeyouknownothingabouttheMariposacourt，inspiteofthefactthatIhavealreadysaidthatitwasoneofthemostpreciseinstrumentsofBritishfairplayeverestablished。Why，JudgePepperleighdisposedofthecaseanddismissedtheprotestofthecompanyinlessthanfifteenminutes！
JustwhatthejurisdictionofJudgePepperleigh’scourtisIdon’tknow，butIdoknowthatinupholdingtherightsofaChristiancongregation——Iamquotingherethetextofthedecision——againsttheintriguesofasetofinfernalskunksthatmaketoomuchmoney，anyway，theMariposacourtiswithoutanequal。Pepperleigheventhreatenedtheplaintiffswiththepenitentiary，orworse。
Howthefirestartednooneeverknew。TherewasaqueerstorythatwentabouttotheeffectthatMr。SmithandMr。Gingham’sassistanthadbeenseenverylatethatnightcarryinganautomobilecanofkeroseneupthestreet。Butthatwasamplydisprovedbytheproceedingsofthecourt，andbytheevidenceofMr。Smithhimself。
Hetookhisdyingoath，——nothisordinaryoneasusedintheLicensecases，buthisdyingone，——thathehadnotcarriedacanofkeroseneupthestreet，andthatanywayitwastherottenestkindofkerosenehehadeverseenandnomoreusethansomuchmolasses。Sothatpointwassettled。
DeanDrone？Didhegetwellagain？Why，whatmakesyouaskthat？Youmean，washisheadatallaffectedafterthestroke？No，itwasnot。
Absolutelynot。Itwasnotaffectedintheleast，thoughhowanybodywhoknowshimnowinMariposacouldhavethefaintestideathathismindwasinanywayimpairedbythestrokeismorethanIcantell。
TheengagingofMr。Uttermost，thecurate，whomperhapsyouhaveheardpreachinthenewchurch，hadnothingwhatevertodowithDeanDrone’shead。Itwasmerelyacaseofthepressureofoverwork。Itwasfeltverygenerallybythewardensthat，inthesedaysofspecialization，therectorwascoveringtoowideafield，andthatifheshouldabandonsomeofthelesserdutiesofhisoffice，hemightdevotehisenergiesmoreintentlytotheInfantClass。Thatwasall。
Youmayhearhimthereanyafternoon，talkingtothem，ifyouwillstandunderthemapletreesandlistenthroughtheopenwindowsofthenewInfantSchool。
And，asforaudiences，forintelligence，forattentionwell，ifI
wanttofindlistenerswhocanhearandunderstandaboutthegreatspacesofLakeHuron，letmetellofit，everytimefacetofacewiththeblueeyesoftheInfantClass，freshfromtheinfinityofspacesgreaterstill。Talkofgrown—uppeopleallyoulike，butforlistenersletmehavetheInfantClasswiththeirpinaforesandtheirTeddyBearsandtheirfeetnoteventouchingthefloor，andMr。
Uttermostmaypreachtohisheart’scontentofthenewerformsofdoubtrevealedbythehighercriticism。
SoyouwillunderstandthattheDean’smindis，ifanything，evenkeener，andhisheadevenclearerthanbefore。Andifyouwantproofofit，noticehimtherebeneaththeplumblossomsreadingintheGreek：hehastoldmethathefindsthathecanread，Withthegreatestease，worksintheGreekthatseemeddifficultbefore。
Becausehisheadissoclearnow。
Andsometimes，——whenhisheadisveryclear，——ashesitstherereadingbeneaththeplumblossomshecanhearthemsingingbeyond，andhiswife’svoice。
SEVEN
TheExtraordinaryEntanglementofMr。PupkinJudgePepperleighlivedinabighousewithhardwoodfloorsandawidepiazzathatlookedoverthelakefromthetopofOneidaStreet。
Everydayabouthalf—pastfiveheusedtocomehomefromhisofficeintheMariposaCourtHouse。Onsomedaysashegotnearthehousehewouldcallouttohiswife：
\"AlmightyMoses，Martha！wholeftthesprinkleronthegrass？\"
Onotherdayshewouldcalltoherfromquitealittledistanceoff：
\"Hullo，mother！Gotanysupperforahungryman？\"
AndMrs。Pepperleighneverknewwhichitwouldbe。Onthedayswhenhesworeatthesprinkleryoucouldseehisspectaclesflashlikedynamite。Butonthedayswhenhecalled：\"Hullo，mother，\"theyweresimplyirradiatedwithkindliness。
Somedays，Isay，hewouldcryoutwithaperfectwhineofindignation：\"SufferingCaesar！hasthatinfernaldogtornupthosegeraniumsagain？\"Andotherdaysyouwouldhearhimsingingout：
\"Hullo，Rover！Well，doggie，well，oldfellow！\"
Inthesamewayatbreakfast，thejudge，ashelookedoverthemorningpaper，wouldsometimesleaptohisfeetwithaperfecthowlofsuffering，andcry：\"EverlastingMoses！theLiberalshavecarriedEastElgin。\"Orelsehewouldleanbackfromthebreakfasttablewiththemostgood—humouredlaughyoueverheardandsay：\"Ha！ha！theConservativeshavecarriedSouthNorfolk。\"
Andyethewasperfectlylogical，whenyoucometothinkofit。Afterall，whatismoreannoyingtoasensitive，highly—strungmanthananinfernalsprinklerplayingallovertheplace，andwhatmoreagreeabletoagood—natured，even—temperedfellowthanawell—preparedsupper？Or，whatismorelikeablethanone’sgood，old，affectionatedogboundingdownthepathfromsheerdelightatseeingyou，——ormoreexecrablethananinfernalwhelpthathastornupthegeraniumsandistoooldtokeep，anyway？
Asforpolitics，well，itallseemedreasonableenough。WhentheConservativesgotinanywhere，Pepperleighlaughedandenjoyedit，simplybecauseitdoesonegoodtoseeastraight，fine，honestfightwherethebestmanwins。WhenaLiberalgotin，itmadehimmad，andhesaidso，——not，mindyou;fromanypoliticalbias，forhisofficeforbidit，——butsimplybecauseonecan’tbeartoseethecountrygoabsolutelytothedevil。
Isuppose，too，itwaspartlytheeffectofsittingincourtalldaylisteningtocases。Onegetswhatyoumightcallthejudicialtemperofmind。PepperleighhaditsostronglydevelopedthatI’veseenhimkickahydrangeapottopieceswithhisfootbecausetheaccursedthingwouldn’tflower。Heoncethrewthecanarycageclearintothelilacbushesbecausethe\"blastedbirdwouldn’tstopsinging。\"Itwasastraightcaseofjudicialtemper。Lotsofjudgeshaveit，developedinjustthesamebroad，all—roundwayaswithJudgePepperleigh。
Ithinkitmustbepassingsentencesthatdoesit。Anyway，Pepperleighhadtheaptitudeforpassingsentencessohighlyperfectedthathespenthiswholetimeatitinsideofcourtandout。
I’veheardhimhandoutsentencesfortheSultanofTurkeyandMrs。
PankhurstandtheEmperorofGermanythatmadeone’sbloodruncold。
Hewouldsitthereonthepiazzaofasummereveningreadingthepaper，withdynamitesparksflyingfromhisspectaclesashesentencedtheCzarofRussiatotenyearsinthesaltmines——andmadeitfifteenafewminutesafterwards。Pepperleighalwaysreadtheforeignnews——thenewsofthingsthathecouldn’talter——asaformofwildandstimulatingtorment。
Soyoucanimaginethatinsomewaysthejudge’shousewasaprettydifficulthousetogoto。ImeanyoucanseehowawfullyharditmusthavebeenforMr。Pupkin。Itellyouittooksomenervetostepuponthatpiazzaandsay，inaperfectlynatural，off—handway：\"Oh，howdoyoudo，judge？IsMissZenain？No，Iwon’tstay，thanks;I
thinkIoughttobegoing。Isimplycalled。\"Amanwhocandothathasgottohaveaprettyfairamountofsavoirwhatdoyoucallit，andhe’sgottobemightywellshavedandhavehiscameopinputinhistieataprettyundeniableanglebeforehecantackleit。Yes，andeventhenhemayneedtohangroundbehindthelilacbushesforhalfanhourfirst，andcooloff。Andhe’sapttomakeprettygoodtimedownOneidaStreetonthewayback。
Still，that’swhatyoucalllove，andifyou’vegotit，andarewellshaved，andyourbootswellblacked，youcandothingsthatseemalmostimpossible。Yes，youcandoanything，evenifyoudotripoverthedogingettingoffthepiazza。
Don’tsupposeforamomentthatJudgePepperleighwasanunapproachableoraharshmanalwaysandtoeverybody。EvenMr。
Pupkinhadtoadmitthatthatcouldn’tbeso。Toknowthat，youhadonlytoseeZenaPepperleighputherarmroundhisneckandcallhimDaddy。Shewoulddothatevenwhenthereweretwoorthreeyoungmensittingontheedgeofthepiazza。Youknow，Ithink，thewaytheysitontheedgeinMariposa。Itismeanttoindicatewhatpartofthefamilytheyhavecometosee。ThuswhenGeorgeDuff，thebankmanager，cameuptothePepperleighhouse，healwayssatinachairontheverandahandtalkedtothejudge。ButwhenPupkinorMalloryTompkinsoranyfellowlikethatcame，hesatdowninasidelongfashionontheedgeoftheboardsandthentheyknewexactlywhathewastherefor。Ifheknewthehousewell，heleanedhisbackagainsttheverandahpostandsmokedacigarette。Butthattooknerve。
ButIamafraidthatthisisadigression，and，ofcourse，youknowallaboutitjustaswellasIdo。AllthatIwastryingtosaywasthatIdon’tsupposethatthejudgehadeverspokenacrosswordtoZenainhislife。——Oh，hethrewhernoveloverthegrape—vine，I
don’tdenythat，butthenwhyonearthshouldagirlreadtrashliketheErrantQuestofthePalladinPilgrim，andtheLifeofSirGalahad，whenthehousewasfullofgoodreadinglikeTheLifeofSirJohnA。Macdonald，andPioneerDaysinTecumsehTownship？
Still，whatImeanisthatthejudgeneverspokeharshlytoZena，exceptperhapsunderextremeprovocation;andIamquitesurethathenever，neverhadtoNeil。ButthenwhatfathereverwouldwanttospeakangrilytosuchaboyasNeilPepperleigh？Thejudgetooknocredithimselfforthat;thefinestgrownboyinthewholecountyandsobroadandbigthattheytookhimintotheMissinabaHorsewhenhewasonlyseventeen。Andclever，——socleverthathedidn’tneedtostudy;socleverthatheusedtocomeoutatthefootoftheclassinmathematicsattheMariposahighschoolthroughsheersurplusofbrainpower。I’veheardthejudgeexplainitadozentimes。Why，NeilwassocleverthatheusedtobeabletoplaybilliardsattheMariposaHousealleveningwhentheotherboyshadtostayathomeandstudy。
Suchapowerfullookingfellow，too！EverybodyinMariposaremembershowNeilPepperleighsmashedinthefaceofPeterMcGinnis，theLiberalorganizer，atthebigelection——yourecallit——whentheoldMacdonaldGovernmentwentout。JudgePepperleighhadtotryhimforitthenextmorning——hisownson。TheysaythereneverwassuchasceneevenintheMariposacourt。Therewas，Ibelieve，somethinglikeitonasmallerscaleinRomanhistory，butitwasn’thalfasdramatic。IrememberJudgePepperleighleaningforwardtopassthesentence，——forajudgeisbound，youknow，byhisoath，——andhowgravehelookedandyetsoproudandhappy，likeamandoinghisdutyandsustainedbyit，andhesaid：
\"Myboy，youareinnocent。YousmashedinPeterMcGinnis’sface，butyoudiditwithoutcriminalintent。Youputafaceonhim，byJehoshaphat！thathewon’tloseforsixmonths，butyoudiditwithoutevilpurposeormaligndesign。Myboy，lookup！Givemeyourhand！Youleavethiscourtwithoutastainuponyourname。\"
TheysaiditwasoneofthemostmovingsceneseverenactedintheMariposaCourt。
ButthestrangestthingisthatifthejudgehadknownwhateveryoneelseinMariposaknew，itwouldhavebrokenhisheart。IfhecouldhaveseenNeilwiththedrunkenflushonhisfaceinthebilliardroomoftheMariposaHouse，——ifhehadknown，aseveryoneelsedid，thatNeilwascrazedwithdrinkthenighthestrucktheLiberalorganizerwhentheoldMacdonaldGovernmentwentout，——ifhecouldhaveknownthatevenonthatlastdayNeilwasdrunkwhenherodewiththeMissinabaHorsetothestationtojointheThirdContingentforthewar，andallthestreetofthelittletownwasonegreatroarofpeople——
Butthejudgeneverknew，andnowheneverwill。Forifyoucouldfinditinthemeannessofyoursoultotellhim，itwouldservenopurposenowexcepttobreakhisheart，andtherewouldriseuptorebukeyouthepicturedvisionofanuntendedgravesomewhereinthegreatsilencesofSouthAfrica。
DidIsayabove，orseemtoimply，thatthejudgesometimesspokeharshlytohiswife？Ordidyougatherforaminutethatherlotwasonetolamentoverorfeelsorryfor？Ifso，itjustshowsthatyouknownothingaboutsuchthings，andthatmarriage，atleastasitexistsinMariposa，isasealedbooktoyou。YouareasignorantasMissSpiffkins，thebiologyteacheratthehighschool，whoalwayssayshowsorrysheisforMrs。Pepperleigh。YougetthatimpressionsimplybecausethejudgehowledlikeanAlgonquinIndianwhenhesawthesprinklerrunningonthelawn。Butareyousureyouknowtheothersideofit？AreyouquitesurewhenyoutalklikeMissSpiffkinsdoesabouttherightsofit，thatyouaretakingallthingsintoaccount？YoumighthavethoughtdifferentlyperhapsofthePepperleighs，anyway，ifyouhadbeentherethateveningwhenthejudgecamehometohiswifewithonehandpressedtohistempleandintheotherthecablegramthatsaidthatNeilhadbeenkilledinactioninSouthAfrica。Thatnighttheysattogetherwithherhandinhis，justastheyhadsattogetherthirtyyearsagowhenhewasalawstudentinthecity。
GoandtellMissSpiffkinsthat！Hydrangeas，——canaries，——
temper，——blazes！WhatdoesMissSpiffkinsknowaboutitall？
Butinanycase，ifyoutriedtotellJudgePepperleighaboutNeilnowhewouldn’tbelieveit。He’dlaughittoscorn。ThatisNeil’spicture，inuniform，hanginginthedining—roombesidetheFathersofConfederation。Thatmilitary—lookingmaninthepicturebesidehimisGeneralKitchener，whomyoumayperhapshaveheardof，forhewasveryhighlyspokenofinNeil’sletters。Allroundtheroom，infact，andstillmoreinthejudge’slibraryupstairs，youwillseepicturesofSouthAfricaandthedepartureoftheCanadians（therearenoneofthereturn），andofMountedInfantryandofUnmountedCavalryandalotofthingsthatonlysoldiersandthefathersofsoldiersknowabout。
Soyoucanrealizethatforafellowwhoisn’tmilitary，andwhowearsnothingnearertoauniformthanadaffodiltennisblazer，thejudge’shouseisadevilofahousetocometo。
IthinkyourememberyoungMr。Pupkin，doyounot？IhavereferredtohimseveraltimesalreadyasthejuniortellerintheExchangeBank。
ButifyouknowMariposaatallyouhaveoftenseenhim。Youhavenoticedhim，Iamsure，goingforthebankmailinthemorninginanofficesuiteffectofclinginggreywithagoldnecktiepinshapedlikearidingwhip。Youhaveseenhimoftenenoughgoingdowntothelakefrontaftersupper，intennisthings，smokingacigaretteandwithapaddleandacrimsoncanoecushionunderhisarm。YouhaveseenhimenteringDeanDrone’schurchinatophatandalongfrockcoatnearlytohisfeet。Youhaveseenhim，perhaps，playingpokerinPeterGlover’sroomoverthehardwarestoreandtryingtolookasifhedidn’tholdthreeaces，——infact，givingabsolutelynosignofitbeyondthewildflushinhisfaceandthefactthathishairstandsonend。
Thatkindofreticenceisathingyousimplyhavetolearninbanking。Imean，ifyou’vegottobeinapositionwhereyouknowforafactthattheMariposaPackingCompany’saccountisoverdrawnbysixty—fourdollars，andyetdaren’tsayanythingaboutit，noteventothegirlsthatyouplaytenniswith，——Idon’tsay，notacasualhintasareference，butnotreallytellthem，not，forinstance，bringdownthebankledgertothetenniscourtandshowthem，——youlearnasortofreticenceandself—controlthatpeopleoutsideofbankingcirclesnevercanattain。
Why，I’veknownPupkinattheFireman’sBallleanagainstthewallinhisdresssuitandtalkawaytoJimEliot，thedruggist，withoutgivingthefaintesthintorindicationthatEliot’snotefortwenty—sevendollarshadbeenprotestedthatverymorning。Notahintofit。Idon’tsayhedidn’tmentionit，inasortofway，inthesupperroom，justtooneortwo，butImeantherewasnothinginthewayheleantupagainstthewalltosuggestit。
But，however，Idon’tmentionthataseitherfororagainstMr。
Pupkin。ThatsortofthingismerelytheABCofbanking，ashehimselftoldmewhenexplainingwhyitwasthathehesitatedtodivulgetheexactstandingoftheMariposaCarriageCompany。Ofcourse，onceyougetpasttheABCyoucanlearnalotthatismightyinteresting。
SoIthinkthatifyouknowMariposaandunderstandeventherudimentsofbanking，youareperfectlyacquaintedwithMr。Pupkin。
What？YourememberhimasbeinginlovewithMissLawson，thehighschoolteacher？InlovewithHER？Whataridiculousidea。YoumeanmerelybecauseonthenightwhentheMariposaBellesankwitheverysoulonboard，PupkinputofffromthetowninaskifftorescueMissLawson。Oh，butyou’requitewrong。Thatwasn’tLOVE。I’veheardPupkinexplainithimselfadozentimes。Thatsortofthing，——paddlingouttoasinkingsteameratnightinacrazyskiff，——mayindicateasortofattraction，butnotreallove，notwhatPupkincametofeelafterwards。Indeed，whenhebegantothinkofit，itwasn’tevenattraction，itwasmerelyrespect，——that’sallitwas。Andanyway，thatwaslongbefore，sixorsevenmonthsback，andPupkinadmittedthatatthetimehewasamereboy。
Mr。Pupkin，Imustexplain，livedwithMalloryTompkinsinroomsovertheExchangeBank，ontheverytopfloor，thethird，withMullins’sownroomsbelowthem。Extremelycomfortablequarterstheywere，withtwobedroomsandasitting—roomthatwasallfixedupwithsnowshoesandtennisracketsonthewallsanddanceprogrammesandcanoeclubbadgesandallthatsortofthing。
MalloryTompkinswasayoungmanwithlonglegsandchecktrouserswhoworkedontheMariposaTimes—Herald。Thatwaswhatgavehimhisliterarytaste。HeusedtoreadIbsenandthatotherDutchauthor——BumstoneBumstone，isn’tit？——andyoucanjudgethathewasamightyintellectualfellow。Hewassointellectualthathewas，ashehimselfadmitted，acompleteeggnostic。HeandPupkinusedtohavethemosttremendousargumentsaboutcreationandevolution，andhowifyoustudyataschoolofappliedscienceyoulearnthatthere’snohellbeyondthepresentlife。
MalloryTompkinsusedtoproveabsolutelythatthemiracleswereonlyelectricity，andPupkinusedtoadmitthatitwasanawfullygoodargument，butclaimedthathehadhearditawfullywellansweredinasermon，thoughunfortunatelyhehadforgottenhow。
Tompkinsusedtoshowthatthefloodwascontrarytogeology，andPupkinwouldacknowledgethatthepointwasanexcellentone，butthathehadreadabook，——thetitleofwhichheoughttohavewrittendown，——whichexplainedgeologyawayaltogether。
MalloryTompkinsgenerallygotthebestofthemerelylogicalsideofthearguments，butPupkin——whowasatremendousChristian——wasmuchstrongerinthethingshehadforgotten。Sothediscussionsoftenlastedtillfarintothenight，andMr。Pupkinwouldfallasleepanddreamofasplendidargument，whichwouldhavesettledthewholecontroversy，onlyunfortunatelyhecouldn’trecallitinthemorning。
Ofcourse，PupkinwouldneverhavethoughtofconsideringhimselfonanintellectualparwithMalloryTompkins。Thatwouldhavebeenridiculous。MalloryTompkinshadreadallsortsofthingsandhadhalfamindtowriteanovelhimself——eitherthatoraplay。Allheneeded，hesaid，wastohaveachancetogetawaysomewherebyhimselfandthink。EverytimehewentawaytothecityPupkinexpectedthathemightreturnwiththenovelallfinished;butthoughheoftencamebackwithhiseyesredfromthinking，thenovelasyetremainedincomplete。
Meantime，MalloryTompkins，asIsay，wasamightyintellectualfellow。Youcouldseethatfromthebooksonthebamboobookshelvesinthesitting—room。Therewas，forinstance，the\"EncyclopaediaMetropolitana\"infortyvolumes，thatheboughtontheinstalmentplanfortwodollarsamonth。Thenwhentheytookthataway，therewasthe\"HistoryofCivilization，\"infiftyvolumesatfiftycentsaweekforfiftyyears。Tompkinshadreadinithalf—waythroughtheStoneAgebeforetheytookitfromhim。Afterthattherewasthe\"LivesofthePainters，\"onevolumeatatime——asplendidthinginwhichyoucouldreadallaboutAahrens，andAachenthal，andAaxandmenofthatclass。
Afterall，there’snothinglikeeducatingoneself。MalloryTompkinsknewabouttheopeningperiodofallsortsofthings，andinregardtopeoplewhosenamesbeganwith\"A\"youcouldn’tstickhim。
Idon’tmeanthatheandMr。Pupkinlivedamereroutineofstudiousevenings。Thatwouldbeuntrue。Quiteoftentheirtimewasspentinmuchlesscommendablewaysthanthat，andtherewerepokerpartiesintheirsitting—roomthatdidn’tbreakuptillnearlymidnight。
Card—playing，afterall，isaslowbusiness，unlessyouputmoneyonit，and，besides，ifyouareinabankandarehandlingmoneyallday，gamblinghasafascination。
I’veseenPupkinandMalloryTompkinsandJoeMilligan，thedentist，andMitchelltheticketagent，andtheother\"boys\"sittingroundthetablewithmatchesenoughpiledupinfrontofthemtostockafactory。Tenmatchescountedforonechipandtenchipsmadeacent——soyouseetheyweren’tmerelyplayingforthefunofthething。Ofcourseit’sahollowpleasure。Yourealizethatwhenyouwakeupatnightparchedwiththirst，tenthousandmatchestothebad。Butbankingisawildlifeandeverybodyknowsit。
SometimesPupkinwouldswearoffandkeepawayfromthecursedthingforweeks，andthenperhapshe’dseebysheeraccidentapileofmatchesonthetable，oramatchlyingontheflooranditwouldstartthecrazeinhim。Iamusinghisownwords——a\"craze\"——that’swhathecalleditwhenhetoldMissLawsonallaboutit，andshepromisedtocurehimofit。Shewouldhave，too。Only，asIsay，Pupkinfoundthatwhathehadmistakenforattractionwasonlyrespect。Andthere’snouseworryingawomanthatyourespectaboutyourcrazes。
ItwasfromMalloryTompkinsthatPupkinlearnedallabouttheMariposapeople，becausePupkincamefromawayoff——somewheredownintheMaritimeProvinces——anddidn’tknowasoul。MalloryTompkinsusedtotellhimaboutJudgePepperleigh，andwhatawonderfullyclevermanhewasandhowhewouldhavebeenintheSupremeCourtforcertainiftheConservativeGovernmenthadstayedinanotherfifteenortwentyyearsinsteadofcomingtoaprematureend。HeusedtotalksomuchaboutthePepperleighs，thatPupkinwassickoftheveryname。ButjustassoonashehadseenZenaPepperleighhecouldn’thearenoughofthem。HewouldhavetalkedwithTompkinsforhoursaboutthejudge’sdogRover。AndasforZena，ifhecouldhavebroughthernameoverhislips，hewouldhavetalkedofherforever。
Hefirstsawher——byoneofthestrangestcoincidencesintheworld——ontheMainStreetofMariposa。Ifhehadn’thappenedtobegoingupthestreetandshetobecomingdownit，thethingwouldn’thavehappened。Afterwardstheybothadmittedthatitwasoneofthemostpeculiarcoincidencestheyeverheardof。Pupkinownedthathehadhadthestrangestfeelingthatmorningasifsomethingweregoingtohappen——afeelingnotatalltobeclassedwiththeoneofwhichhehadoncespokentoMissLawson，andwhichwas，atthemost，amereanticipationofrespect。
But，asIsay，PupkinmetZenaPepperleighonthe26thofJune，attwenty—fiveminutestoeleven。Andatoncethewholeworldchanged。
Thepastwasallblottedout。Eveninthenewfortyvolumeeditionofthe\"InstalmentRecordofHumanity\"thatMalloryTompkinshadjustreceivedPupkinwouldn’thavebotheredwithit。
She——thatwordhenceforthmeantZena——hadjustcomebackfromherboarding—school，andofalltimesofyearcomingbackfromaboarding—schoolandforwearingawhiteshirtwaistandacrimsontieandforcarryingatennisracketonthestrickenstreetofatown——commendmetothemonthofJuneinMariposa。
And，forPupkin，straightawaythewholetownwasirradiatedwithsunshine，andtherewassuchasingingofthebirds，andsuchadancingoftherippledwatersofthelake，andsuchakindlinessinthefacesofallthepeople，thatonlythosewhohavelivedinMariposa，andbeenyoungthere，canknowatallwhathefelt。
ThesimplefactisthatjustthemomenthesawZenaPepperleigh，Mr。Pupkinwasclean，plumb，straight，flat，absolutelyinlovewithher。
Whichfactissoimportantthatitwouldbefollynottoclosethechapterandthinkaboutit。
EIGHT
TheFore—ordainedAttachmentofZenaPepperleighandPeterPupkinZenaPepperleighusedtositreadingnovelsonthepiazzaofthejudge’shouse，halfhiddenbytheVirginiacreepers。Attimesthebookwouldfalluponherlapandtherewassuchalookofunstilledyearninginhervioleteyesthatitdidnotentirelydisappearevenwhenshepickeduptheapplethatlaybesideherandtookanotherbiteoutofit。
Withhandsclaspedshewouldsittheredreamingallthebeautifulday—dreamsofgirlhood。Whenyousawthatfarawaylookinhereyes，itmeantthatshewasdreamingthataplumedandarmouredknightwasrescuingherfromtheembattledkeepofacastlebesidetheDanube。
AtothertimesshewasbeingborneawaybyanAlgeriancorsairoverthebluewatersoftheMediterraneanandwasreachingoutherarmstowardsFrancetosayfarewelltoit。
Sometimeswhenyounoticedasweetlookofresignationthatseemedtorestuponherfeatures，itmeantthatLordRonalddeChevereuxwaskneelingatherfeet，andthatshewastellinghimtorise，thatherhumblerbirthmusteverbeabartotheirhappiness，andLordRonaldwasgettingintoanawfulstateaboutit，asEnglishpeersdoattheleastsuggestionofanythingofthesort。
Or，ifitwasn’tthat，thenherloverhadjustreturnedtoherside，tallandsoldierlyandsunburned，afterfightingfortenyearsintheSoudanforhersake，andhadcomebacktoaskherforheranswerandtotellherthatfortenyearsherfacehadbeenwithhimeveninthewatchesofthenight。Hewasaskingherforasign，anykindofsign，——tenyearsintheSoudanentitlesthemtoasign，——andZenawaspluckingawhiterose，justone，fromherhair，whenshewouldhearherfather’ssteponthepiazzaandmakeagrabforthePioneersofTecumsehTownship，andstartreadingitlikemad。
Shewasalways，asIsay，beingrescuedandbeingborneaway，andbeingparted，andreachingoutherarmstoFranceandtoSpain，andsayinggood—byeforevertoValladolidortheoldgreytowersofHohenbranntwein。
AndIdon’tmeanthatshewasintheleastexceptionalorromantic，becauseallthegirlsinMariposawerejustlikethat。AnAlgeriancorsaircouldhavecomeintothetownandhadadozenofthemfortheasking，andasforawoundedEnglishofficer，——well，perhapsit’sbetternottotalkaboutitoutsideorthelittletownwouldbecomearegularmilitaryhospital。
Because，mindyou，theMariposagirlsareallright。You’veonlytolookatthemtorealizethat。Yousee，youcangetinMariposaaprintdressofpaleblueorpalepinkforadollartwentythatlooksinfinitelybetterthananythingyoueverseeinthecity，——especiallyifyoucanwearwithitabroadstrawhatandabackgroundofmapletreesandthegreengrassofatenniscourt。Andifyouremember，too，thatthesearecultivatedgirlswhohaveallbeentotheMariposahighschoolandcandodecimalfractions，youwillunderstandthatanAlgeriancorsairwouldsharpenhisscimitarattheverysightofthem。
Don’tthinkeitherthattheyarealldyingtogetmarried;becausetheyarenot。Idon’tsaytheywouldn’ttakeanerrantknight，orabuccaneeroraHungarianrefugee，butfortheordinarymarriagesofordinarypeopletheyfeelnothingbutapityingdisdain。Soitisthateachoneoftheminduetimemarriesanenchantedprinceandgoestoliveinoneofthelittleenchantedhousesinthelowerpartofthetown。
Idon’tknowwhetheryouknowit，butyoucanrentanenchantedhouseinMariposaforeightdollarsamonth，andsomeofthemostcompletelyenchantedarethecheapest。Asfortheenchantedprinces，theyfindtheminthestrangestplaces，whereyouneverexpectedtoseethem，working——underaspell，youunderstand，——indrug—storesandprintingoffices，andevensellingthingsinshops。ButtobeabletofindthemyouhavefirsttoreadeversomanynovelsaboutSirGalahadandtheErrantQuestandthatsortofthing。
NaturallythenZenaPepperleigh，asshesatonthepiazza，dreamedofbanditsandofwoundedofficersandofLordRonaldsridingonfoam—fleckedchargers。Butthatsheeverdreamedofajuniorbanktellerinadaffodilblazerridingpastonabicycle，isprettyhardtoimagine。So，whenMr。PupkincametearingpastuptheslopeofOneidaStreetataspeedthatprovedthathewasn’tridingtheremerelytopassthehouse，Idon’tsupposethatZenaPepperleighwasawareofhisexistence。
Thatmaybeaslightexaggeration。Sheknew，perhaps，thathewasthenewjuniortellerintheExchangeBankandthathecamefromtheMaritimeProvinces，andthatnobodyknewwhohispeoplewere，andthathehadneverbeeninacanoeinhislifetillhecametoMariposa，andthathesatfourpewsbackinDeanDrone’schurch，andthathissalarywaseighthundreddollars。Beyondthat，shedidn’tknowathingabouthim。Shepresumed，however，thatthereasonwhyhewentpastsofastwasbecausehedidn’tdaretogoslow。
This，ofcourse，wasperfectlycorrect。EversincethedaywhenMr。
PupkinmetZenaintheMainStreetheusedtocomepastthehouseonhisbicyclejustafterbankhours。Hewouldhavegonepasttwentytimesadaybuthewasafraidto。AshecameupOneidaStreet，heusedtopedalfasterandfaster，——henevermeantto，buthecouldn’thelpit，——tillhewentpastthepiazzawhereZenawassittingatanawfulspeedwithhislittleyellowblazerflyinginthewind。Inasecondhehaddisappearedinabuzzandacloudofdust，andthemomentumofitcarriedhimclearoutintothecountryformilesandmilesbeforeheeverdaredtopauseorlookback。
ThenMr。Pupkinwouldrideinahugecircuitaboutthecountry，tryingtothinkhewaslookingatthecrops，andsoonerorlaterhisbicyclewouldbeturnedtowardsthetownagainandheadedforOneidaStreet，andwouldgetgoingquickerandquickerandquicker，tillthepedalswhirledroundwithabuzzandhecamepastthejudge’shouseagain，likeabulletoutofagun。Herodefifteenmilestopassthehousetwice，andeventhenittookallthenervethathehad。
ThepeopleonOneidaStreetthoughtthatMr。Pupkinwascrazy，butZenaPepperleighknewthathewasnot。Already，yousee，therewasasortofdimparallelbetweenthepassingofthebicycleandthelastrideofTancredtheInconsolablealongthebanksoftheDanube。
Ihavealreadymentioned，Ithink，howMr。PupkinandZenaPepperleighfirstcametoknowoneanother。Likeeverythingelseaboutthem，itwasasheermatterofcoincidence，quiteinexplicableunlessyouunderstandthatthesethingsarefore—ordained。
That，ofcourse，isthewaywithfore—ordainedaffairsandthat’swheretheydifferfromordinarylove。
Iwon’teventrytodescribehowMr。PupkinfeltwhenhefirstspokewithZenaandsatbesideherastheycopiedoutthe\"endlesschain\"
letteraskingfortencents。Theywroteout，asIsaid，nolessthaneightofthelettersbetweenthem，andtheyfoundoutthattheirhandwritingsweresoalikethatyoucouldhardlytellthemapart，exceptthatPupkin’sletterswereroundandZena’sletterswerepointedandPupkinwrotestraightupanddownandZenawroteonaslant。Beyondthatthewritingwassoalikethatitwasthestrangestcoincidenceintheworld。OfcoursewhentheymadefiguresitwasdifferentandPupkinexplainedtoZenathatinthebankyouhavetobeabletomakeasevensothatitdoesn’tlooklikeanine。
So，asIsay，theywrotethelettersallafternoonandwhenitwasovertheywalkedupOneidaStreettogether，eversoslowly。Whentheygotnearthehouse，ZenaaskedPupkintocomeintotea，withsuchaneasyoff—handwaythatyoucouldn’thavetoldthatshewashalfanhourlateandwastakingawfulchancesonthejudge。Pupkinhadn’thadtimetosayyesbeforethejudgeappearedatthedoor，justastheyweresteppingupontothepiazza，andhehadatablenapkininhishandandthedynamitesparkswereflyingfromhisspectaclesashecalledout：
\"Greatheaven！Zena，whyineverlastingblazescan’tyougetintoteaataChristianhour？\"
ZenagaveonelookofappealtoPupkin，andPupkinlookedoneglanceofcomprehension，andturnedandfleddownOneidaStreet。Andifthescenewasn’tquiteasdramaticastherenunciationofTancredtheTroubadour，itatleasthadsomethingofthesameelementsinit。
PupkinwalkedhometohissupperattheMariposaHouseonair，andthateveningtherewasagentledistanceinhismannertowardsSadie，thedining—roomgirl，thatIsupposenobankclerkinMariposaevershowedbefore。ItwaslikeSirGalahadtalkingwiththetire—womenofQueenGuinevereandreceivinghuckleberrypieattheirhands。
AfterthatMr。PupkinandZenaPepperleighconstantlymettogether。
TheyplayedtennisaspartnersonthegrasscourtbehindDr。
Gallagher’shouse，——theMariposaTennisClubrentit，youremember，forfiftycentsamonth，——andPupkinusedtoperformperfectprodigiesofvalour，leapingintheairtoservewithhislittlebodyhookedlikealetterS。Sometimes，too，theywentoutonLakeWissanottiintheeveninginPupkin’scanoe，withZenasittinginthebowandPupkinpaddlinginthesternandtheywentouteversofaranditwasafterdarkandthestarswereshiningbeforetheycamehome。Zenawouldlookatthestarsandsayhowinfinitelyfarawaytheyseemed，andPupkinwouldrealizethatagirlwithamindlikethatcouldn’thaveanyuseforafoolsuchashim。ZenausedtoaskhimtopointoutthePleiadesandJupiterandUrsaminor，andPupkinshowedherexactlywheretheywere。Thatimpressedthembothtremendously，becausePupkindidn’tknowthatZenarememberedthenamesoutoftheastronomybookatherboarding—school，andZenadidn’tknowthatPupkinsimplytookachanceonwherethestarswere。
AndeversomanytimestheytalkedsointimatelythatPupkincamemightyneartellingherabouthishomeintheMaritimeProvincesandabouthisfatherandmother，andthenkickedhimselfthathehadn’tthemanlinesstospeakstraightoutaboutitandtaketheconsequences。
Pleasedon’timaginefromanyofthisthatthecourseofMr。Pupkin’sloveransmooth。Onthecontrary，Pupkinhimselffeltthatitwasabsolutelyhopelessfromthestart。
Therewere，itmightbeadmitted，certainthingsthatseemedtoindicateprogress。
InthecourseofthemonthsofJuneandJulyandAugust，hehadtakenZenaoutinhiscanoethirty—onetimes。Allowinganaverageoftwomilesforeachevening，PupkinhadpaddledZenasixty—twomiles，ormorethanahundredthousandyards。Thatsurelywassomething。
Hehadplayedtenniswithheronsixteenafternoons。Threetimeshehadlefthistennisracketupatthejudge’shouseinZena’scharge，andoncehehad，withherfullconsent，lefthisbicyclethereallnight。Thismustcountforsomething。Nogirlcouldtriflewithamantotheextentofhavinghisbicycleleaningagainsttheverandahpostallnightandmeannothingbyit。
Morethanthat——hehadbeentoteaatthejudge’shousefourteentimes，andseventimeshehadbeenaskedbyLilianDronetotherectorywhenZenawascoming，andfivetimesbyNoraGallaghertoteaatthedoctor’shousebecauseZenawasthere。
AltogetherhehadeatensomanymealswhereZenawasthathismealticketattheMariposalastednearlydoubleitspropertime，andthefaceofSadie，thedining—roomgirl，hadgrowntowearalookofmelancholyresignation;sadderthanromance。
Stillmorethanthat，PupkinhadboughtforZena，reckoningitaltogether，abouttwobucketsoficecreamandperhapshalfabushelofchocolate。NotthatPupkingrudgedtheexpenseofit。Onthecontrary，overandabovetheicecreamandthechocolatehehadboughtherawhitewaistcoatandawalkingstickwithagoldtop，alotofnewnecktiesandapairofpatentleatherboots——thatis，theywereallboughtonaccountofher，whichisthesamething。
AddtoallthisthatPupkinandZenahadbeentotheChurchofEnglandChurchnearlyeverySundayeveningfortwomonths，andoneeveningtheyhadevengonetothePresbyterianChurch\"forfun，\"
which，ifyouknowMariposa，youwillrealizetobeawildsortofescapadethatoughttospeakvolumes。
Yetinspiteofthis，Pupkinfeltthatthethingwashopeless：whichonlyillustratesthedreadfulupsanddowns，thewildalternationsofhopeanddespairthatcharacteriseanexceptionalaffairofthissort。
Yes，itwashopeless。
EverytimethatPupkinwatchedZenaprayinginchurch，heknewthatshewastoogoodforhim。EverytimethathecametocallforherandfoundherreadingBrowningandOmarKhayyamheknewthatshewastoocleverforhim。Andeverytimethathesawheratallherealizedthatshewastoobeautifulforhim。
Yousee，Pupkinknewthathewasn’tahero。WhenZenawouldclaspherhandsandtalkrapturouslyaboutcrusadersandsoldiersandfiremenandheroesgenerally，Pupkinknewjustwherehecamein。Notinit，thatwasall。IfawarcouldhavebrokenoutinMariposa，orthejudge’shousebeeninvadedbytheGermans，hemighthavehadachance，butasitwas——hopeless。
ThentherewasZena’sfather。HeavenknowsPupkintriedhardtopleasethejudge。HeagreedwitheverytheorythatJudgePepperleighadvanced，andthattookaprettypliableintellectinitself。Theydenouncedfemalesuffrageonedayandtheyfavoureditthenext。Onedaythejudgewouldclaimthatthelabourmovementwaseatingouttheheartofthecountry，andthenextdayhewouldholdthatthehopeoftheworldlayintheorganizationofthetoilingmasses。Pupkinshiftedhisopinionsliketheglassinakaleidoscope。Indeed，theonlythingsonwhichhewasallowedtomaintainasteadfastconvictionwerethepurityoftheConservativepartyofCanadaandtheawfulwickednessoftherecallofjudges。
ButwithallthatthejudgewashardlyciviltoPupkin。Hehadn’taskedhimtothehousetillZenabroughthimthere，though，asarule，allthebankclerksinMariposatreatedJudgePepperleigh’spremisesastheirown。HeusedtositandsneeratPupkinafterhehadgonetillZenawouldthrowdownthePioneersofTecumsehTownshipinatemperandflounceoffthepiazzatoherroom。Afterwhichthejudge’smannerwouldchangeinstantlyandhewouldrelighthiscorncobpipeandsitandpositivelybeamwithcontentment。InallofwhichtherewassomethingsomysteriousastoprovethatMr。Pupkin’schanceswerehopeless。
Norwasthatallofit。Pupkin’ssalarywaseighthundreddollarsayearandtheExchangeBanklimitformarriagewasathousand。
IsupposeyouareawareofthegrindingcapitalistictyrannyofthebanksinMariposawherebymarriageisputbeyondthereachofeversomanymatureandexperiencedmenofnineteenandtwentyandtwenty—one，whoarecompelledtogooneatingonamealticketattheMariposaHouseandlivingoverthebanktosuitthewhimofagroupofcapitalists。
WheneverPupkinthoughtofthistwohundreddollarsheunderstoodallthatitmeantbysocialunrest。Infact，heinterpretedallformsofsocialdiscontentintermsofit。RussianAnarchism，GermanSocialism，theLabourMovement，HenryGeorge，LloydGeorge，——heunderstoodthewholelotofthembythinkingofhistwohundreddollars。
WhenItellyouthatatthisperiodMr。PupkinreadMemoirsoftheGreatRevolutionistsandeventhoughtofblowingupHenryMullinswithdynamite，youcanappreciatehisstateofmind。
ButnotevenbyallthesehindrancesandobstaclestohisloveforZenaPepperleighwouldPeterPupkinhavebeendriventocommitsuicide（oh，yes;hecommitteditthreetimes，asI’mgoingtotellyou），haditnotbeenforanotherthingthatheknewstoodonceandforallandincoldrealitybetweenhimandZena。
Hefeltitinasortofway，assoonasheknewher。Eachtimethathetriedtotalktoherabouthishomeandhisfatherandmotherandfoundthatsomethingheldhimback，herealizedmoreandmorethekindofthingthatstoodbetweenthem。Mostofalldidherealizeit，withasuddensicknessofheart，whenhegotwordthathisfatherandmotherwantedtocometoMariposatoseehimandhehadallhecoulddotoheadthemofffromit。
Why？Whystopthem？Thereasonwas，simpleenough，thatPupkinwasashamedofthem，bitterlyashamed。ThepictureofhismotherandfatherturningupinMariposaandbeingseenbyhisfriendsthereandgoinguptothePepperleigh’shousemadehimfeelfaintwithshame。
No，Idon’tsayitwasn’twrong。Itonlyshowswhatdifferenceoffortune，thedifferenceofbeingrichandbeingpoor，meansinthisworld。Youperhapshavebeensoluckythatyoucannotappreciatewhatitmeanstofeelshameatthestationofyourownfatherandmother。
Youthinkitdoesn’tmatter，thathonestyandkindlinessofheartareallthatcounts。Thatonlyshowsthatyouhaveneverknownsomeofthebitterestfeelingsofpeoplelessfortunatethanyourself。
SoitwaswithMr。Pupkin。WhenhethoughtofhisfatherandmotherturningupinMariposa，hisfacereddenedwithunworthyshame。
Hecouldjustpicturethescene！HecouldseethemgettingoutoftheirLimousinetouringcar，withthechauffeurholdingopenthedoorforthem，andhisfatheraskingforasuiteofrooms，——justthinkofit，asuiteofrooms！——attheMariposaHouse。
Theverythoughtofitturnedhimill。
What！Youhavemistakenmymeaning？Ashamedofthembecausetheywerepoor？Goodheavens，no，butbecausetheywererich！AndnotrichinthesenseinwhichtheyusetheterminMariposa，wherearichpersonmerelymeansamanwhohasmoneyenoughtobuildahousewithapiazzaandtohaveeverythinghewants;butrichintheothersense，——motorcars，Ritzhotels，steamyachts，summerislandsandallthatsortofthing。
Why，Pupkin’sfather，——what’stheuseoftryingtoconcealitanylonger？——wastheseniorpartnerinthelawfirmofPupkin，PupkinandPupkin。IfyouknowtheMaritimeProvincesatall，you’veheardofthePupkins。ThenameisahouseholdwordfromChedabuctotoChidabecto。And，forthematterofthat，thelawfirmandthefactthatPupkinseniorhadbeenanAttorneyGeneralwastheleastpartofit。AttorneyGeneral！Why，there’snomoneyinthat！It’snobetterthantheSenate。No，no，Pupkinsenior，likesomanylawyers，waspracticallyapromoter，andheblewcompanieslikebubbles，andwhenhewasn’tintheMaritimeProvinceshewasinBostonandNewYorkraisingmoneyandfloatingloans，andwhentheyhadnomoneyleftinNewYorkhefloateditinLondon：andwhenhehadit，hefloatedontopofitbigraftsoflumberontheMiramichiandcodfishontheGrandBanksandlesserfishintheFundyBay。You’veheardperhapsoftheTidalTransportationCompany，andFundyFisheriesCorporation，andthePaspebiacPulpandPaperUnlimited？Well;allofthosewerePupkinseniorunderothernames。SojustimaginehiminMariposa！
Wouldn’thebeutterlyfoolishthere？JustimaginehimmeetingJimEliotandtreatinghimlikeadruggistmerelybecauseheranadrugstore！orspeakingtoJeffersonThorpeasifhewereabarbersimplybecauseheshavedformoney！Why，amanlikethatcouldruinyoungPupkininMariposainhalfaday，andPupkinknewit。
Thatwouldn’tmattersomuch，butthinkofthePepperleighsandZena！Everything。wouldbeoverwiththematonce。Pupkinknewjustwhatthejudgethoughtofrichesandluxuries。HowoftenhadheheardthejudgepasssentencesoflifeimprisonmentonPierpontMorganandMr。Rockefeller。HowoftenhadPupkinheardhimsaythatanymanwhoreceivedmorethanthreethousanddollarsayear（thatwasthejudicialsalaryintheMissinabadistrict）wasamererobber，unfittoshakethehandofanhonestman。Bitter！Ishouldthinkhewas！
Hewasnotsobitter，perhaps，asMr。Muddleson，theprincipaloftheMariposahighschool，whosaidthatanymanwhoreceivedmorethanfifteenhundreddollarswasapublicenemy。HewascertainlynotsobitterasTrelawney，thepost—master，whosaidthatanymanwhogotfromsocietymorethanthirteenhundreddollars（apartfromalegitimateincreaseinrecognitionofasuccessfulelection）wasadangertosociety。Still，hewasbitter。TheyallwereinMariposa。
Pupkincouldjustimaginehowtheywoulddespisehisfather！
AndZena！Thatwastheworstofall。Howoftenhad，Pupkinheardhersaythatshesimplyhateddiamondswouldn’twearthem，despisedthem，wouldn’tgiveathankyouforawholetiaraofthem！Asformotorcarsandsteamyachts，——well，itwasprettyplainthatthatsortofthinghadnochancewithZenaPepperleigh。Why，shehadtoldPupkinonenightinthecanoethatshewouldonlymarryamanwhowaspoorandhadhiswaytomakeandwouldhewdowndifficultiesforhersake。