第5章

thatsheinvariablywentonwithherworkheedlessofhispresence,andineverythingtreatedhimasifshehadbeenhisequal。Shepersistedintalkingwithhiminahalfsisterlyfashionabouthisstudiesandhisfuturecareer,warnedhimwithgreatsolicitudeagainstsomeofhisreprobatefriends,ofwhosemerryadventureshehadtoldher;andifheventuredtocomplimentheronherbeautyorheraccomplishments,shewouldlookupgravelyfromhersewing,oranswerhiminawaywhichseemedtobanishtheideaoflove—makingintothelandoftheimpossible。Hewasconstantlytormentedbythesuspicionthatshesecretlydisapprovedofhim,andthatfromameremoralinterestinhiswelfareshewasconscientiouslylaboringtomakehimabetterman。Dayafterdayhepartedfromherfeelinghumiliated,faint—hearted,andsecretlyindignantbothathimselfandher,anddayafterdayhereturnedonlytorenewthesameexperience。Atlastitbecametoointolerable,hecouldendureitnolonger。Letitmakeorbreak,certainty,atallrisks,wasatleastpreferabletothissickeningsuspense。Thathelovedher,hecouldnolongerdoubt;lethisparentsfoamandfretasmuchastheypleased;

foroncehewasgoingtostandonhisownlegs。

Andintheend,hethought,theywouldhavetoyield,fortheyhadnosonbuthim。

Berthawasgoingtoreturntoherhomeonthesea—coastinaweek。Ralphstoodinthelittlelow—ceiledparlor,assheimagined,tobidhergood—bye。Theyhadbeenspeakingofherfather,herbrothers,andthefarm,andshehadexpressedthewishthatifheevershouldcometothatpartofthecountryhemightpaythemavisit。Herwordshadkindledavaguehopeinhisbreast,butintheirveryfranknessandfriendlyregardtherewassomethingwhichslewthehopetheyhadbegotten。Heheldherhandinhis,andherlargeconfidingeyesshonewithanemotionwhichwasbeautiful,butwasyetnotlove。

\"Ifyouwerebutapeasantbornlikemyself,\"

saidshe,inavoicewhichsoundedalmosttender,\"thenIshouldliketotalktoyouasIwouldtomyownbrother;but——\"

\"No,notbrother,Bertha,\"criedhe,withsuddenvehemence;\"IloveyoubetterthanIeverlovedanyearthlybeing,andifyouknewhowfirmlythislovehasclutchedattherootsofmyheart,youwouldperhaps——youwouldatleastnotlooksoreproachfullyatme。\"

Shedroppedhishand,andstoodforamomentsilent。

\"Iamsorrythatitshouldhavecometothis,Mr。Grim,\"saidshe,visiblystrugglingforcalmness。\"AndIamperhapsmoretoblamethanyou。\"

\"Blame,\"mutteredhe,\"whyareyoutoblame?\"

\"BecauseIdonotloveyou;althoughIsometimesfearedthatthismightcome。ButthenagainIpersuadedmyselfthatitcouldnotbeso。\"

Hetookasteptowardthedoor,laidhishandontheknob,andgazeddownbeforehim。

\"Bertha,\"beganhe,slowly,raisinghishead,\"youhavealwaysdisapprovedofme,youhavedespisedmeinyourheart,butyouthoughtyouwouldbedoingagoodworkifyousucceededinmakingamanofme。\"

\"Youusestronglanguage,\"answeredshe,hesitatingly;\"butthereistruthinwhatyousay。\"

Againtherewasalongpause,inwhichthetickingoftheoldparlorclockgrewlouderandlouder。

\"Then,\"hebrokeoutatlast,\"tellmebeforewepartifIcandonothingtogain——Iwillnotsayyourlove——butonlyyourregard?Whatwouldyoudoifyouwereinmyplace?\"

\"Myadviceyouwillhardlyheed,andIdonotevenknowthatitwouldbewellifyoudid。

ButifIwereamaninyourposition,Ishouldbreakwithmywholepast,startoutintotheworldwherenobodyknewme,andwhereI

shouldbedependentonlyuponmyownstrength,andthereIwouldconqueraplaceformyself,ifitwereonlyforthesatisfactionofknowingthatIwasreallyaman。Herecushionsaresewedunderyourarms,ahundredinvisiblethreadsbindyoutoalifeofidlenessandvanity,everybodyisreadytocarryyouonhishands,theroadissmoothedforyou,everystonecarefullymovedoutofyourpath,andyouwillprobablygotoyourgravewithouthavingeverharboredoneearnestthought,withouthavingdoneonemanlydeed。\"

Ralphstoodtransfixed,gazingatherwithopenmouth;hefeltakindofstupidfright,asifsomeonehadsuddenlyseizedhimbytheshouldersandshakenhimviolently。HetriedvainlytoremovehiseyesfromBertha。Sheheldhimasbyapowerfulspell。Hesawthatherfacewaslightedwithanaltogethernewbeauty;henoticedthedeepglowuponhercheek,thebrilliancyofhereye,theslightquiverofherlip。Buthesawallthisasoneseesthingsinahalf—trance,withoutattemptingtoaccountforthem;thedoorbetweenhissoulandhissenseswasclosed。

\"IknowthatIhavebeenboldinspeakingtoyouinthisway,\"shesaidatlast,seatingherselfinachairatthewindow。\"Butitwasyourselfwhoaskedme。AndIhavefeltallthetimethatIshouldhavetotellyouthisbeforeweparted。\"

\"And,\"answeredhe,makingastrongefforttoappearcalm,\"ifIfollowyouradvice,willyouallowmetoseeyouoncemorebeforeyougo?\"

\"Ishallremainhereanotherweek,andshall,duringthattime,alwaysbereadytoreceiveyou。\"

\"Thankyou。Good—bye。\"

\"Good—bye。\"

Ralphcarefullyavoidedallthefashionablethoroughfares;hefeltdegradedbeforehimself,andhehadanideathateverymancouldreadhishumiliationinhiscountenance。Nowhewalkedonquickly,strikingthesidewalkwithhisheels;now,again,hefellintoanuneasy,recklesssaunter,accordingasthechangingmoodsinspireddefianceofhissentence,oraqualifiedsurrender。And,ashewalkedon,thebitternessgrewwithinhim,andhepitilesslyreviledhimselfforhavingallowedhimselftobemadeafoolofby\"thatlittlecountrygoose,\"

whenhewaswellawarethattherewerehundredsofwomenofthebestfamiliesofthelandwhowouldfeelhonoredatreceivinghisattentions。

Butthissortofreasoningheknewtohebothweakandcontemptible,andhisbetterselfsoonroseinloudrebellion。

\"Afterall,\"hemuttered,\"inthemainthingshewasright。Iamamiserablegood—for—

nothing,ahot—houseplant,apoorstick,andifI

wereawomanmyself,Idon’tthinkIshouldwastemyaffectionsonamanofthatcalibre。\"

ThenheunconsciouslyfelltoanalyzingBertha’scharacter,wonderingvaguelythatapersonwhomovedsotimidlyinsociallife,appearingsodiffident,fromanever—presentfearofblunderingagainsttheestablishedformsofetiquette,couldjudgesoquickly,andwithsuchamercilesscertainty,wheneveramoralquestion,aquestionofrightandwrong,wasatissue。

And,pursuingthesametrainofthought,hecontrastedherwithhimself,whomovedinthehighestspheresofsocietyasinhisnativeelement,heedlessofmoralscruples,andconsciousofnoloftiermotiveforhisactionsthantheimmediatepleasureofthemoment。

AsRalphturnedthecornerofastreet,heheardhimselfhailedfromtheothersidewalkbyachorusofmerryvoices。

\"Ah,mydearBaroness,\"criedayoungman,springingacrossthestreetandgraspingRalph’shand(allhisstudentfriendscalledhimtheBaroness),\"inthenameofthisillustriouscompany,allowmetosaluteyou。Butwhythedeuce——whatisthematterwithyou?IfyouhavetheKatzenjammer,[7]soda—wateristhething。Comealong,——it’smytreat!\"

[7]Katzenjammeristhesensationamanhasthemorningafteracarousal。

ThestudentsinstantlythrongedaroundRalph,whostooddistractedlyswinginghiscaneandsmilingidiotically。

\"Iamnotquitewell,\"saidhe;\"leavemealone。\"

\"No,tobesure,youdon’tlookwell,\"criedajollyyouth,againstwhomBerthahadfrequentlywarnedhim;\"butaglassofsherrywillsoonrestoreyou。Itwouldbehighlyimmoraltoleaveyouinthisconditionwithouttakingcareofyou。\"

Ralphagainvainlytriedtoremonstrate;buttheendwas,thathereluctantlyfollowed。

Hehadalwaysbeenaconspicuousfigureinthestudentworld;butthatnightheastonishedhisfriendsbyhiseloquence,hisrecklesshumor,andhiscapacityfordrinking。Hemadeaspeechfor\"Woman,\"whichbristledwithwit,cynicism,andsarcasticepigrams。Oneyoungman,namedVinter,whowasengaged,undertooktoprotestagainsthissweepingcondemnation,anddeclaredthatRalph,whowasaUniversalfavoriteamongtheladies,oughttobethelasttorevilethem。

\"If,\"hewenton,\"theBaronessshouldproposetosixwell—knownladieshereinthiscitywhomIcouldmention,IwouldwagersixJohannisbergers,andanequalamountofchampagne,thateveryoneofthemwouldaccepthim。\"

Theothersloudlyapplaudedthisproposal,andRalphacceptedthewager。Theletterswerewrittenonthespot,andimmediatelydispatched。

Towardmorning,themerrycarousalbrokeup,andRalphwasconductedintriumphtohishome。

III。

Twodayslater,RalphagainknockedonBertha’sdoor。Helookedpalerthanusual,almosthaggard;hisimmaculatelinenwasalittlecrumpled,andhecarriednocane;hislipsweretightlycompressed,andhisfaceworeanairofdesperateresolution。

\"Itisdone,\"hesaid,asheseatedhimselfoppositeher。\"Iamgoing。\"

\"Going!\"criedshe,startledathisunusualappearance。\"How,where?\"

\"ToAmerica。Isailto—night。Ihavefollowedyouradvice,yousee。Ihavecutoffthelastbridgebehindme。\"

\"But,Ralph,\"sheexclaimed,inavoiceofalarm。\"Somethingdreadfulmusthavehappened。

Tellmequick;Imustknowit。\"

\"No;nothingdreadful,\"mutteredhe,smilingbitterly。\"Ihavemadealittlescandal,thatisall。Myfathertoldmeto—daytogotothedevil,ifIchose,andmymothergavemefivehundreddollarstohelpmealongontheway。

Ifyouwishtoknow,hereistheexplanation。\"

Andhepulledfromhispocketsixperfumedandcarefullyfoldednotes,andthrewthemintoherlap。

\"Doyouwishmetoreadthem?\"sheasked,withgrowingsurprise。

\"Certainly。Whynot?\"

Shehastilyopenedonenoteaftertheother,andread。

\"But,Ralph,\"shecried,springingupfromherseat,whilehereyesflamedwithindignation,\"whatdoesthismean?Whathaveyoudone?\"

\"Ididn’tthinkitneededanyexplanation,\"

repliedhe,withfeignedindifference。\"I

proposedtothemall,and,yousee,theyallacceptedme。Ireceivedalltheselettersto—day。

IonlywishedtoknowwhetherthewholeworldregardedmeassuchaworthlessscampasyoutoldmeIwas。\"

Shedidnotanswer,butsatmutelystaringathim,fiercelycrumplingarose—colorednoteinherhand。Hebegantofeeluncomfortableunderhergaze,andthrewhimselfaboutuneasilyinhischair。

\"Well,\"saidhe,atlength,rising,\"Isupposethereisnothingmore。Good—bye。\"

\"Onemoment,Mr。Grim,\"demandedshe,sternly。\"SinceIhavealreadysaidsomuch,andyouhaveobliginglyrevealedtomeanewsideofyourcharacter,IclaimtherighttocorrecttheopinionIexpressedofyouatourlastmeeting。\"

\"Iamallattention。\"

\"Ididthink,Mr。Grim,\"beganshe,breathinghard,andsteadyingherselfagainstthetableatwhichshestood,\"thatyouwereaveryselfishman——anembodimentofselfishness,absoluteandsupreme,butIdidnotbelievethatyouwerewicked。\"

\"AndwhatconvincedyouthatIwasselfish,ifImayask?\"

\"Whatconvincedme?\"repeatedshe,inatoneofinexpressiblecontempt。\"Whendidyoueveractfromanygenerousregardforothers?Whatgooddidyoueverdotoanybody?\"

\"Youmightask,withequaljustice,whatgoodIeverdidtomyself。\"

\"Inacertainsense,yes;becausetogratifyameremomentarywishishardlydoingone’sselfgood。\"

\"ThenIhave,atallevents,followedtheBiblicalprecept,andtreatedmyneighborverymuchasItreatmyself。\"

\"Ididthink,\"continuedBertha,withoutheedingtheremark,\"thatyouwereatbottomkind—hearted,buttoohopelesslywell—bredevertocommitanactofanydecidedcomplexion,eithergoodorbad。NowIseethatIhavemisjudgedyou,andthatyouarecapableofoutragingthemostsacredfeelingsofawoman’sheartinmerewantonness,orforthesakeofsatisfyingabasecuriosity,whichnevercouldhaveenteredthemindofanuprightandgenerousman。\"

Thehard,benumbedlookinRalph’sfacethawedinthewarmthofherpresence,andherwords,thoughstern,touchedasecretspringinhisheart。Hemadetwoorthreevainattemptstospeak,thensuddenlybrokedown,andcried:

\"Bertha,Bertha,evenifyouscornme,havepatiencewithme,andlisten。\"

Andhetoldher,inrapid,brokensentences,howhisloveforherhadgrownfromdaytoday,untilhecouldnolongermasterit;andhow,inanunguardedmoment,whenhisprideroseinfierceconflictagainsthislove,hehaddonethisrecklessdeedofwhichhewasnowheartilyashamed。Thefervorofhiswordstouchedher,forshefeltthattheyweresincere。

Largemutetearstrembledinhereyelashesasshesatgazingtenderlyathim,andinthedepthofhersoulthewishawokethatshemighthavebeenabletoreturnthisgreatandstrongloveofhis;forshefeltthatinthislovelaythegermofanew,ofastrongerandbetterman。Shenoticed,withahalf—regretfulpleasure,hishandsomefigure,hisdelicatelyshapedhands,andthenoblecastofhisfeatures;anoverwhelmingpityforhimrosewithinher,andshebegantoreproachherselfforhavingspokensoharshly,and,asshenowthought,sounjustly。Perhapshereadinhereyestheunspokenwish。Heseizedherhand,andhiswordsfellwithawarmandalluringcadenceuponherear。

\"Ishallnotseeyouforalongtimetocome,Bertha,\"saidhe,\"butif,attheendoffiveorsixyearsyourhandisstillfree,andIreturnanotherman——amantowhomyoucouldsafelyintrustyourhappiness——wouldyouthenlistentowhatImayhavetosaytoyou?ForIpromise,byallthatwebothholdsacred——\"

\"No,no,\"interruptedshe,hastily。\"Promisenothing。Itwouldbeunjustto——yourself,andperhapsalsotome;forasacredpromiseisaterriblething,Ralph。Letusbothremainfree;

and,ifyoureturnandstillloveme,thencome,andIshallreceiveyouandlistentoyou。Andevenifyouhaveoutgrownyourlove,whichis,indeed,moreprobable,comestilltovisitmewhereverImaybe,andweshallmeetasfriendsandrejoiceinthemeeting。\"

\"Youknowbest,\"hemurmured。\"Letitbeasyouhavesaid。\"

Hearose,tookherfacebetweenhishands,gazedlongandtenderlyintohereyes,pressedakissuponherforehead,andhastenedaway。

ThatnightRalphboardedthesteamerforHull,andthreeweekslaterlandedinNewYork。

IV。

ThefirstthreemonthsofRalph’ssojourninAmericawerespentinvainattemptstoobtainasituation。DayafterdayhewalkeddownBroadway,callingatvariousplacesofbusinessandnightafternighthereturnedtohischeer—

lessroomwithafaintheartanddecliningspirits。

Itwas,afterall,amoreseriousthingthanhehadimagined,tocutthecablewhichbindsonetothelandofone’sbirth。Thereahundredsubtileinfluences,theexistenceofwhichnoonesuspectsuntilthemomenttheyarewithdrawn,unitetokeeponeinthestraightpathofrectitude,oratleastofexternalrespectability;andRalph’slifehadbeenallinsociety;theopinionofhisfellow—menhadbeentheoneforcetowhichheimplicitlydeferred,andtheconsciencebywhichhehadbeenwonttotesthisactionshadbeennothingbuttheaggregatejudgmentofhisfriends。Tosuchamantheisolationandtheutterirresponsibilityofalifeamongstrangerswastenfoldmoredangerous;andRalphfound,tohishorror,thathischaractercontainedinnumerablelatentpossibilitieswhichtheeasy—

goinglifeinhishomeprobablyneverwouldhaverevealedtohim。Itoftencuthimtothequick,when,onenteringanofficeinhisdailysearchforemployment,hewasmetbyhostileorsuspiciousglances,orwhen,asitoccasionallyhappened,thedoorwasslammedinhisface,asifhewereavagabondoranimpostor。Thenthewolfwasoftenrousedwithinhim,andhefeltamomentarywilddesiretobecomewhatthepeoplehereevidentlybelievedhimtobe。

Manyanighthesaunteredirresolutelyaboutthegamblingplacesinobscurestreets,andtheglareoflight,therudeshoutsandclamorsinthesamemomentrepelledandattractedhim。

Ifhewenttothedevil,whowouldcare?Hisfatherhadhimselfpointedoutthewaytohim;

andnobodycouldblamehimifhefollowedtheadvice。Butthenagainamemoryemergedfromthatchamberofhissoulwhichstillheheldsacred;andBertha’sdeep—blueeyesgazeduponhimwiththeirearnestlookoftenderwarningandregret。

Whenthesummerwashalfgone,Ralphhadgainedmanyahardvictoryoverhimself,andlearnedmanyausefullesson;andatlengthheswallowedhispride,divestedhimselfofhisfineclothes,andacceptedapositionasassistantgardeneratavillaontheHudson。Andashestoodperspiringwithaspadeinhishand,andacheapbroad—brimmedstrawhatonhishead,heoftentookagrimpleasureinpicturingtohimselfhowhisaristocraticfriendsathomewouldreceivehim,ifheshouldintroducehimselftotheminthisnewcostume。

\"Afterall,itwasonlymypositiontheycaredfor,\"hereflected,bitterly;\"withoutmyfather’snamewhatwouldIbetothem?\"

Then,again,therewasacertainsatisfactioninknowingthat,forhispresentsituation,humbleasitwas,hewasindebtedtonobodybuthimself;andthethoughtthatBertha’seyes,iftheycouldhaveseenhimnowwouldhavedweltuponhimwithpleasureandapprobation,wentfartoconsolehimforhisachingback,hissunburnedface,andhisswollenandblisteredhands。

Oneday,asRalphwasrakingthegravel—

walksinthegarden,hisemployer’sdaughter,ayoungladyofseventeen,cameoutandspoketohim。Hiscultureandrefinementofmannerstruckherwithwonder,andsheaskedhimtotellherhishistory;butthenhesuddenlygrewverygrave,andsheforborepressinghim。Fromthattimesheattachedakindofromanticinteresttohim,andfinallyinducedherfathertoobtainhimasituationthatwouldbemoretohistaste。And,beforewintercame,Ralphsawthedawnofanewfutureglimmeringbeforehim。

Hehadwrestledbravelywithfate,andhadoncemoregainedavictory。Hebeganthecareerinwhichsuccessanddistinctionawaitedhim,asproof—readeronanewspaperinthecity。

HehadfortunatelybeenfamiliarwiththeEnglishlanguagebeforehelefthome,andbythestrengthofhiswillheconqueredalldifficulties。

Attheendoftwoyearshebecameattachedtotheeditorialstaff;newambitioushopes,hithertoforeigntohismind,awokewithinhim;

andwithjoyoustumultofhearthesawlifeopeningitswidevistasbeforehim,andhelaboredonmanfullytorepairthelossesofthepast,andtopreparehimselfforgreaterusefulnessintimestocome。Hefeltinhimselfastrongerandfullermanhood,asifthegreatarteriesofthevastuniversalworld—lifepulsedinhisownbeing。Thedrowsy,indolentexistenceathomeappearedlikeadullremotedreamfromwhichhehadawaked,andheblessedthedestinywhich,byitsverysternness,hadmercifullysavedhim;heblessedher,too,who,fromtheverywantofloveforhim,had,perhaps,madehimworthieroflove。

Theyearsflewrapidly。Societyhadflungitsdoorsopentohim,andwhatwasmore,hehadfoundsomewarmfriends,inwhosehouseshecouldcomeandgoatpleasure。Heenjoyedkeenlytheprivilegeofdailyassociationwithhigh—mindedandrefinedwomen;theireageractivityofintellectstimulatedhim,theirexquisiteetherealgraceandtheirdelicatelychiseledbeautysatisfiedhisaestheticcravings,andtheresponsivevivacityoftheirnaturepreparedhimevernewsurprises。Hefeltastrangefascinationinthepresenceofthesewomen,andtheconvictiongrewuponhimthattheirtypeofwomanhoodwassuperiortoanyhehadhithertoknown。Andbywayofrefutinghisownargument,hewoulddrawfromhispocket—bookthephotographofBertha,whichhadasecretcompartmenttherealltoitself,and,gazingtenderlyatit,wouldeagerlydefendheragainstthedisparagingreflectionswhichtheinvoluntarycomparisonhadprovoked。Andstill,howcouldhehelpseeingthatherfeatures,thoughwellmolded,lackedanimation;thathereye,withitsdeep,trustfulglance,wasnotbrilliant,andthatthecalmearnestnessofherface,whencomparedwiththebright,intellectualbeautyofhispresentfriends,appearedpaleandsimple,likeavioletinabouquetofvividlycoloredroses?

Itgavehimaquickpang,when,attimes,hewasforcedtoadmitthis;nevertheless,itwasthetruth。

AftersixyearsofresidenceinAmerica,Ralphhadgainedaveryhighreputationasajournalistofrarecultureandability,and,in1867hewassenttotheWorld’sExhibitioninParis,ascorrespondentofthepaperonwhichhehadduringalltheseyearsbeenemployed。

Whatwonder,then,thathestartedforEuropeafewweeksbeforehispresencewasneededintheimperialcity,andthathesteeredhiscoursedirectlytowardthefjordvalleywhereBerthahadherhome?ItwasshewhohadbiddenhimGodspeedwhenhefledfromthelandofhisbirth,andshe,too,shouldreceivehisfirstgreetingonhisreturn。

V。

Thesunhadfortifieditselfbehindacitadelofflamingclouds,andtheupperforestregionshonewithastrangeetherealglow,whilethelowerplainswerewrappedinshadow;buttheshadowitselfhadastrongsuffusionofcolor。

Themountainpeaksrosecoldandblueinthedistance。

Ralph,havinginquiredhiswayoftheboatmanwhohadlandedhimatthepier,walkedrapidlyalongthebeach,withasmallvaliseinhishand,andalightsummerovercoatflungoverhisshoulder。Manyhalf—thoughtsgrazedhismind,anderethefirsthadtakenshape,thesecond,andthethirdcameandchaseditaway。

AndstilltheyallinsomefashionhadreferencetoBertha;forinamisty,abstractway,shefilledhiswholemind;butforsomeindefinablereason,hewasafraidtogivefreereintothesentimentwhichlurkedintheremotercornersofhissoul。

Onwardhehastened,whilehisheartthrobbedwiththequickeningtempoofmingledexpectationandfear。Nowandthenoneofthosechillgustsofairwhichseemtobecareeringaboutaimlesslyintheatmosphereduringearlysummer,wouldstrikeintohisface,andrecallhimtoakeenerself—consciousness。

Ralphconcluded,fromhisincreasingagitation,thathemustbeverynearBertha’shome。

Hestoppedandlookedaroundhim。Hesawalargemapleattheroadside,somethirtystepsfromwherehewasstanding,andthegirlwhowassittingunderit,restingherheadinherhandandgazingoutoverthesea,herecognizedinaninstanttobeBertha。Hesprangupontheroad,notcrossing,however,herlineofvision,andapproachedhernoiselesslyfrombehind。

\"Bertha,\"hewhispered。

Shegavealittlejoyouscry,sprangup,andmadeagestureasiftothrowherselfinhisarms;

thensuddenlycheckedherself,blushedcrimson,andmovedastepbackward。

\"Youcamesosuddenly,\"shemurmured。

\"But,Bertha,\"criedhe(andthefullbassofhisvoicerangthroughherverysoul),\"haveI

goneintoexileandwaitedthesemanyyearsforsocoldawelcome?\"

\"Youhavechangedsomuch,Ralph,\"sheanswered,withthatoldgravesmilewhichheknewsowell,andstretchedoutbothherhandstowardhim。\"AndIhavethoughtofyousomuchsinceyouwentaway,andblamedmyselfbecauseIhadjudgedyousoharshly,andwonderedthatyoucouldlistentomesopatiently,andneverbearmeanymaliceforwhatIsaid。\"

\"Ifyouhadsaidawordless,\"declaredRalph,seatinghimselfathersideonthegreensward,\"orifyouhadvarnisheditoverwithpoliteness,thenyouwouldprobablyhavefailedtoproduceanyeffectandIshouldnothavebeenburdenedwiththatheavydebtofgratitudewhichInowoweyou。Iwasaprettythick—skinnedanimalinthosedays,Bertha。Yousaidtherightwordattherightmoment;yougavemeaholdandagoodpieceofadvice,whichmyowningenuitywouldneverhavesuggestedtome。Iwillnotthankyou,because,insograveacaseasthis,spokenthankssoundlikeameremockery。WhateverIam,Bertha,andwhateverImayhopetobe,Ioweitalltothathour。\"

Shelistenedwithrapturetothemanlyassuranceofhisvoice;hereyesdweltwithunspeakablejoyuponhisstrong,bronzedfeatures,hisfullthickblondebeard,andthevigorousproportionsofhisframe。Manyandmanyatimeduringhisabsencehadshewonderedhowhewouldlookifheevercameback,andwiththatminuteconscientiousnesswhich,asitwere,pervadedherwholecharacter,shehadheldherselfresponsiblebeforeGodforhisfate,prayedforhim,andtrembledlestevilpowersshouldgaintheascendencyoverhissoul。

Ontheirwaytothehousetheytalkedtogetherofmanythings,butinaguarded,cautiousfashion,andwithoutthecheerfulabandonmentofformeryears。Theyboth,asitwere,gropedtheirwaycarefullyineachother’sminds,andeachvaguelyfeltthattherewassomethingintheother’sthoughtwhichitwasnotwelltotouchunbidden。Berthasawthatallherfearsforhimhadbeengroundless,andhisveryappearanceliftedthewholeweightofresponsibilityfromherbreast;andstill,didsherejoiceatherdeliverancefromherburden?Ah,no,inthismomentsheknewthatthatwhichshehadfoolishlycherishedasthebestandnoblestpartofherself,hadbeenbutaselfishneedofherownheart。Shefearedthatshehadonlytakenthatinterestinhimwhichonefeelsinathingofone’sownmaking;andnow,whenshesawthathehadrisenquiteaboveher;thathewasfreeandstrong,andcouldhavenomoreneedofher,shehad,insteadofgenerouspleasureathissuccess,butapainfulsenseofemptiness,asifsomethingverydearhadbeentakenfromher。

Ralph,too,wasloathtoanalyzetheimpressionhisoldlovemadeuponhim。Hisfeelingswereofsocomplexanature,hewasanxioustokeephismoremagnanimousimpulsesactive,andhestrovehardtoconvincehimselfthatshewasstillthesametohimasshehadbeenbeforetheyhadeverparted。But,alas!thoughtheheartbewarmandgenerous,theeyeisamercilesscritic。Andthemanwhohadmovedonthewidearenaoftheworld,whosemindhadhousedthelargethoughtsofthiscentury,andexpandedwithitsinvigoratingbreath,——washetoblamebecausehehadunconsciouslyoutgrownhisoldprovincialself,andcouldnomorejudgebyitsstandards?

Bertha’sfatherwasapeasant,buthehad,byhislumbertrade,acquiredwhatinNorwaywascalledaveryhandsomefortune。Hereceivedhisguestwithdignifiedreserve,andRalphthoughthedetectedinhiseyesalurkinglookofdistrust。\"Iknowyourerrand,\"thatlookseemedtosay,\"butyouhadbettergiveitupatonce。Itwillbeofnouseforyoutotry。\"

Andaftersupper,asRalphandBerthasattalkingconfidinglywitheachotheratthewindow,hesenthisdaughteraquick,sharpglance,andthen,withoutceremony,commandedhertogotobed。Ralph’sheartgaveagreatthumpwithinhim;notbecausehefearedtheoldman,butbecausehiswords,aswellashisglances,revealedtohimthesadhistoryoftheselong,patientyears。Hedoubtednolongerthatthelovewhichhehadoncesoardentlydesiredwashisatlast;andhemadeasilentvowthat,comewhatmight,hewouldremainfaithful。

Ashecamedowntobreakfastthenextmorning,hefoundBerthasittingatthewindow,engagedinhemmingwhatappearedtobearoughkitchentowel。Shebenteagerlyoverherwork,andonlyavividflushuponhercheektoldhimthatshehadnoticedhiscoming。Hetookachair,seatedhimselfoppositeher,andbadeher\"good—morning。\"Sheraisedherhead,andshowedhimasweet,troubledcountenance,whichtheearlysunlightilluminedwithahighspiritualbeauty。Itremindedhimforciblyofthosepale,sweet—facedsaintsofFraAngelico,withwhomthefrailfleshseemseveronthepointofyieldingtotheardentaspirationsofthespirit。Andstill,eveninthismomenthecouldnotpreventhiseyesfromobservingthatonesideofherforefingerwasroughfromsewing,andthatthewhitenessofherarm,whichtheloosesleevesdisplayed,contrastedstronglywiththebrownedandsun—burnedcomplexionofherhands。

Afterbreakfasttheyagainwalkedtogetheronthebeach,andRalph,havingonceformedhisresolution,nowtalkedfreelyoftheNewWorld——ofhissphereofactivitythere;ofhisfriendsandofhisplansforthefuture;andshelistenedtohimwithamild,perplexedlookinhereyes,asiftryingvainlytofollowtheflightofhisthoughts。Andhewondered,withsecretdismay,whethershewasstillthesamestrong,brave—heartedgirlwhomhehadonceaccountedalmostbold;whetherthelifeinthisnarrowvalley,amidahundredpettyanddepressingcares,hadnotcrampedherspiritualgrowth,andnarrowedthesphereofherthought。Orwasshestillthesame,andwasitonlyhewhohadchanged?Atlasthegaveutterancetohiswonder,andsheansweredhiminthosegrave,earnesttoneswhichseemedinthemselvestobehalfarefutationofhisdoubts。

\"Itwaseasyformetogiveyoudaringadvice,then,Ralph,\"shesaid。\"Likemostschool—

girls,Ithoughtthatlifewasagreatandgloriousthing,andthathappinesswasafruitwhichhungwithinreachofeveryhand。NowIhavelivedforsixyearstryingsingle—handedtorelievethewantandsufferingoftheneedypeoplewithwhomIcomeincontact,andtheirsqualorandwretchednesshavesickenedme,and,whatisstillworse,IfeelthatallIcandoisasadropintheocean,andafterall,amountstonothing。

IknowIamnolongerthesamerecklessgirl,who,withtheverybestintention,sentyouwanderingthroughthewideworld;andIthankGodthatitprovedtobeforyourgood,althoughthewholenowappearsquiteincredibletome。Mythoughtshavemovedsolongwithinthenarrowcircleofthesemountainsthattheyhavelosttheiryouthfulelasticity,andcannomoreriseabovethem。\"

Ralphdetected,inthemidstofherdespondency,asparkofherformerfire,andgreweloquentinhisendeavorstopersuadeherthatshewasunjusttoherself,andthattherewasbutawidersphereoflifeneededtodevelopallthelatentpowersofherrichnature。

Atthedinner—table,herfatheragainsateyeinghisguestwiththatsamecoldlookofdistrustandsuspicion。Andwhenthemealwasatanend,heroseabruptlyandcalledhisdaughterintoanotherroom。PresentlyRalphheardhisangryvoiceresoundingthroughthehouse,interruptednowandthenbyawoman’ssobs,andasubdued,passionatepleading。WhenBerthaagainenteredtheroom,hereyeswereveryred,andhesawthatshehadbeenweeping。

Shethrewashawloverhershoulders,beckonedtohimwithherhand,andhearoseandfollowedher。Sheledthewaysilentlyuntiltheyreachedathickcopseofbirchandaldernearthestrand。Shedroppeddownuponabenchbetweentwotrees,andhetookhisseatatherside。

\"Ralph,\"beganshe,withavisibleeffort,\"I

hardlyknowwhattosaytoyou;butthereissomethingwhichImusttellyou——myfatherwishesyoutoleaveusatonce。\"

\"AndYOU,Bertha?\"

\"Well——yes——Iwishittoo。\"

Shesawthepainfulshockwhichherwordsgavehim,andshestrovehardtospeak。Herlipstrembled,hereyesbecamesuffusedwithtears,whichgrewandgrew,butneverfell;shecouldnotutteraword。

\"Well,Bertha,\"answeredhe,withalittlequiverinhisvoice,\"ifyou,too,wishmetogo,Ishallnottarry。Good—bye。\"

Herosequickly,and,withavertedface,heldouthishandtoher;butasshemadenomotiontograspthehand,hebegandistractedlytobuttonhiscoat,andmovedslowlyaway。

\"Ralph。\"

Heturnedsharply,and,beforeheknewit,shelaysobbinguponhisbreast。

\"Ralph,\"shemurmured,whilethetearsalmostchokedherwords,\"Icouldnothaveyouleavemethus。Itishardenough——itishardenough——\"

\"Whatishard,beloved?\"

Sheraisedherheadabruptly,andturneduponhimagazefullofhopeanddoubt,andsweetperplexity。

\"Ah,no,youdonotloveme,\"shewhispered,sadly。

\"WhyshouldIcometoseekyou,afterthesemanyyears,dearest,ifIdidnotwishtomakeyoumywifebeforeGodandmen?WhyshouldI——\"

\"Ah,yes,Iknow,\"sheinterruptedhimwithafreshfitofweeping,\"youaretoogoodandhonesttowishtothrowmeaway,nowwhenyouhaveseenhowmysoulhashungeredforthesightofyouthesemanyyears,howevennowIclingtoyouwithadespairingclutch。

Butyoucannotdisguiseyourself,Ralph,andI

sawfromthefirstmomentthatyoulovedmenomore。\"

\"Donotbesuchanunreasonablechild,\"heremonstrated,feebly。\"Idonotloveyouwiththewild,irrationalpassionofformeryears;

butIhavethetenderestregardforyou,andmyheartwarmsatthesightofyoursweetface,andIshalldoallinmypowertomakeyouashappyasanymancanmakeyouwho——\"

\"Whodoesnotloveme,\"shefinished。

Asuddenshudderseemedtoshakeherwholeframe,andshedrewherselfmoretightlyuptohim。

\"Ah,no,\"shecontinued,afterawhile,sinkingbackuponherseat。\"Itisahopelessthingtocompelareluctantheart。Iwillacceptnosacrificefromyou。Youowemenothing,foryouhaveactedtowardmehonestlyanduprightly,andIshallbeastronger,or——atleast——

abetterwomanforwhatyougaveme——and——

forwhatyoucouldnotgiveme,eventhoughyouwould。\"

\"But,Bertha,\"exclaimedhe,lookingmournfullyather,\"itisnottruewhenyousaythatI

oweyounothing。Sixyearsago,whenfirstI

wooedyou,youcouldnotreturnmylove,andyousentmeoutintotheworld,andevenrefusedtoacceptanypledgeorpromiseforthefuture。\"

\"Andyoureturned,\"sheresponded,\"aman,suchasmyhopehadpicturedyou;but,whileI

hadalmostbeenstandingstill,youhadoutgrownme,andoutgrownyouroldself,and,withyouroldself,outgrownitsloveforme,foryourlovewasnotofyournewself,butoftheold。Alas!itisasadtale,butitistrue。\"

Shespokegravelynow,andwithasteadiervoice,buthereyeshunguponhisfacewithaneagerlookofexpectation,asifyearningtodetecttheresomegleamofhope,somecontradictionofthedismaltruth。Hereadthatlookaright,anditpiercedhimlikeasharpsword。

Hemadeabraveefforttorespondtoitsappeal,buthisfeaturesseemedhardasstone,andhecouldonlycryoutagainsthisdestiny,andbewailhismisfortuneandhers。

Towardevening,Ralphwassittinginanopenboat,listeningtothemeasuredoar—strokesoftheboatmenwhowererowinghimouttotheneareststopping—placeofthesteamer。Themountainsliftedtheirgreatplacidheadsupamongthesun—bathedclouds,andthefjordopeneditscooldepthsasiftomakeroomfortheirvastreflections。Ralphfeltasifhewerefloatinginthemidstoftheblueinfinitespace,and,withthestrengthwhichthisfeelinginspired,hetriedtofaceboldlythethoughtfromwhichhehadbutamomentagoshrunkasfromsomethinghopelesslysadandperplexing。

AndinthathourhelookedfearlesslyintothegulfwhichseparatestheNewWorldfromtheOld。Hehadhopedtobridgeit;but,alas!itcannotbebridged。

ASCIENTIFICVAGABOND。

I。

THEsteamerwhichasfarbackas1860

passedeveryweekonitsnorthwardwayupalongthecoastofNorway,wasofaverysociableturnofmind。Itranwithmuchshriekingandneedlessblusterinandoutthecalm,windingfjords,paidunceremoniouslittlevisitsineveryout—of—the—waynookandbay,droppednowandthenablackheapofcoalintotheshiningwater,andsentthickvolleysofsmokeandshrilllittleechoescareeringaimlesslyamongthemountains。Itseemed,onthewhole,fromanaestheticpointofview,anobjectionablephenomenon——ablotupontheperfectsummerday。Bytheinhabitants,however,oftheseremoteregions(withtheexceptionofafewobstinateindividuals,whohadatfirstlookeduponitasthesureheraldofdooms—

day,andstillwerevaguelywonderingwhattheworldwascomingto,)itwasregardedinaverydifferentlight。Thischolericlittlemonsterwastothemafriendlyandwelcomevisitor,whichestablishedtheirconnectionwiththeoutsideworld,andgavethemaproudconsciousnessoflivingintheveryheartofcivilization。

Therefore,onsteamboatdaystheyflockedenmassedownonthepiers,and,withanever—freshsenseofnovelty,greetedtheapproachingboatwithlivelycheers,withfiringofmusketsandwavingofhandkerchiefs。Themenofcondition,asthejudge,thesheriff,andtheparson,whosedignityforbadethemtoreceivethesteamerinperson,contentedthemselveswithwatchingitthroughanopera—glassfromtheirbalconies;andifahighofficialwasknowntobeonboard,theyperhapsdisplayedthenationalbannerfromtheirflag—poles,asadelicatecomplimenttotheirsuperior。

ButtheRev。Mr。Oddson,theparsonofwhomIhavetospeak,hadthisdayyieldedtothegentleurgingsofhisdaughters(as,indeed,healwaysdid),andhadwiththemboardedthesteamertoreceivehisnephew,ArnfinnVording,whowasreturningfromtheuniversityforhissummervacation。Andnowtheyhadhimbetweenthemintheirprettywhite—paintedpar—

sonageboat,withthebluelinealongthegunwale,beleagueringhimwitheagerquestionsaboutfriendsandrelativesinthecapital,chums,universitysports,andamedleyofotherthingsinterestingtoyoungladieswhohaveacollegianforacousin。Hisunclewascharitableenoughtocheckhisowncuriosityaboutthenephew’sprogressintheartsandsciences,andtheresultofhisrecentexaminations,tillheshouldhavebecomefairlysettledunderhisroof;andArnfinn,who,inspiteofhisnaturalbrightnessandreadyhumor,wasanythingbuta\"dig,\"wasgratefulfortherespite。

Theparsonagelaysnuglynestledattheendofthebay,shiningcontentedlythroughthegreenfoliagefromamultitudeofsmallsun—

smittenwindows。Itspinkishwhitewash,whichwaspeelingofffromlongexposuretotheweather,wasincheerfulcontrasttothebroadblacksurfaceoftheroof,withitsglazedtiles,andthestarlings’nestsunderthechimney—tops。

Thethick—leavedmaplesandwalnut—treeswhichgrewinrandomclustersaboutthewallsseemedloftilyconsciousofstandingthereforpurposesofprotection;for,wherevertheirlong—fingeredbrancheshappenedtograzetheroof,itwasalwayswithatouch,light,graceful,andairilycaressing。Theirregularlypavedyardwasinclosedontwosidesbythemainbuilding,andonthethirdbyaspeciesoflogcabin,which,inNorway,iscalledabrew—house;buttowardthewesttheviewwasbutslightlyobscuredbyanelevatedpigeoncotandaclumpofbirches,throughwhosesparseleavesthefjordbeneathsentitsrapidjetsandgleamsoflight,anditsstrangesuggestionsofdistance,peaceandunaccountablegladness。

ArnfinnVording’scareerhadpresentedthatsubtlecombinationoffarceandtragedywhichmosthumanlivesareapttobe;andifthetragicelementhadduringhisearlyyearsbeenpreponderating,hewashardlyhimselfawareofit;forhehadbeentooyoungatthedeathofhisparentstofeelthatkeennessofgriefwhichthesameprivationwouldhavegivenhimatalaterperiodofhislife。Itmighthavebeenhumiliatingtoconfessit,butitwasneverthelesstruethattheterrorhehadoncesustainedonbeingpursuedbyafuriousbullwasmuchmorevividinhismemorythanthevaguewonderanddepressionwhichhadfilledhismindatseeinghismothersosuddenlystrickenwithage,asshelaymotionlessinherwhiterobesinthefrontparlor。

Sincethenhisuncle,whowashisguardianandnearestrelative,hadtakenhimintohisfamily,hadinstructedhimwithhisowndaughters,andfinallysenthimtotheUniversity,leavingthelittlefortunewhichhehadinheritedtoaccumulateforfutureuse。ArnfinnhadapainfullydistinctrecollectionofhisearlyhardshipsintryingtoacquirethatsoftpronunciationoftherwhichispeculiartothewesternfjorddistrictsofNorway,andwhichheadmiredsomuchinhiscousins;forthemerry—eyedInga,whowaslessscrupulousbyagooddealthanheroldersister,Augusta,hadfromthebeginningpersistedininterpretingtheirrelationofcousinshipasanunboundedprivilegeonherparttoridiculehimforhispersonalpeculiarities,andespeciallyforhisharshrandhisbroadeasternaccent。Herridiculewasalwaysverygood—natured,tobesure,butthereforenolessannoying。

But——suchistheperversenessofhumannature——

inspiteofaseriesofapparentrebuffs,interruptednowandthenbyfitsofviolentattachment,Arnfinnhadearlyselectedthisdimpledandyellow—hairedyounggirl,withherpiquantlittlenose,forhisfavoritecousin。Itwastheprospectofseeingherwhich,aboveallelse,hadlent,inanticipation,analtogethernewradiancetothedaywhenheshouldpresenthim—

selfinhishomewiththelong—tasseledstudentcaponhishead,theunnecessary\"pinchers\"onhisnose,andwiththeothertraditionalparaphernaliaoftheNorwegianstudent。Thatgreatdayhadnowcome;ArnfinnsatatInga’ssideplayingwithherwhitefingers,whichlayrestingonhisknee,andcoveringthedepthofhisfeelingwithharmlessbanterabouther\"amusinglyunclassicallittlenose。\"Hehadoncedetectedher,whenachild,standingbeforeamirror,andpinchingthisunhappyfeatureinthemiddle,inthehopeofmakingit\"likeAugusta’s;\"andsincethenhehadnolongerfeltsoutterlydefenselesswheneverhisownfoibleswereattacked。