第4章

’No,thankyou,miss,’hesaid;’it’smyfavouritewine,butitdoesn’tagreewithme;nottheleastbit。ButI’veanuncledrinksit。SupposeIorderedhimhalfadozenforaChristmaspresent?

Well,miss,here’stheshillingcommission,anyway,’andhepulledoutahandfulofmoneyandgavehertheshilling。

’ButIthoughtthewinepeoplepaidthat,’Alicesaid。

Butthebutchersaidnotonhalf—dozenstheydidn’t。Thenhesaidhedidn’tthinkhe’dwaitanylongerforFather—butwouldAliceaskFathertowritehim?

Aliceofferedhimthesherryagain,buthesaidsomethingabout’Notforworlds!’—andthenshelethimoutandcamebacktouswiththeshilling,andsaid,’How’sthat?’

Andwesaid’Ai。’

Andalltheeveningwetalkedofourfortunethatwehadbeguntomake。

Nobodycamenextday,butthedayafteraladycametoaskformoneytobuildanorphanageforthechildrenofdeadsailors。Andwesawher。IwentinwithAlice。Andwhenwehadexplainedtoherthatwehadonlyashillingandwewanteditforsomethingelse,Alicesuddenlysaid,’Wouldyoulikesomewine?’

Andtheladysaid,’Thankyouverymuch,’butshelookedsurprised。

Shewasnotayounglady,andshehadamantlewithbeads,andthebeadshadcomeoffinplaces—leavingabrownybraidshowing,andshehadprintedpapersaboutthedeadsailorsinasealskinbag,andthesealhadcomeoffinplaces,leavingtheskinbare。

Wegaveheratablespoonfulofthewineinaproperwine—glassoutofthesideboard,becauseshewasalady。Andwhenshehadtasteditshegotupinaverygreathurry,andshookoutherdressandsnappedherbagshut,andsaid,’Younaughty,wickedchildren!

Whatdoyoumeanbyplayingatricklikethis?Yououghttobeashamedofyourselves!IshallwritetoyourMammaaboutit。Youdreadfullittlegirl!—youmighthavepoisonedme。ButyourMamma……’

ThenAlicesaid,’I’mverysorry;thebutcherlikedit,onlyhesaiditwassweet。Andpleasedon’twritetoMother。ItmakesFathersounhappywhenletterscomeforher!’—andAlicewasverynearcrying。

’Whatdoyoumean,yousillychild?’saidthelady,lookingquitebrightandinterested。’Whydoesn’tyourFatherlikeyourMothertohaveletters—eh?’

AndAlicesaid,’Oh,you……!’andbegantocry,andboltedoutoftheroom。

ThenIsaid,’OurMotherisdead,andwillyoupleasegoawaynow?’

Theladylookedatmeaminute,andthenshelookedquitedifferent,andshesaid,’I’mverysorry。Ididn’tknow。Nevermindaboutthewine。Idaresayyourlittlesistermeantitkindly。’Andshelookedroundtheroomjustlikethebutcherhaddone。Thenshesaidagain,’Ididn’tknow—I’mverysorry……’

SoIsaid,’Don’tmentionit,’andshookhandswithher,andletherout。Ofcoursewecouldn’thaveaskedhertobuythewineafterwhatshe’dsaid。ButIthinkshewasnotabadsortofperson。Idolikeapersontosaythey’resorrywhentheyoughttobe—especiallyagrown—up。Theydoitsoseldom。Isupposethat’swhywethinksomuchofit。

ButAliceandIdidn’tfeeljollyforeversolongafterwards。AndwhenIwentbackintothedining—roomIsawhowdifferentitwasfromwhenMotherwashere,andwearedifferent,andFatherisdifferent,andnothingislikeitwas。IamgladIamnotmadetothinkaboutiteveryday。

IwentandfoundAlice,andtoldherwhattheladyhadsaid,andwhenshehadfinishedcryingweputawaythebottleandsaidwewouldnottrytosellanymoretopeoplewhocame。Andwedidnottelltheothers—weonlysaidtheladydidnotbuyany—butwewentupontheHeath,andsomesoldierswentbyandtherewasaPunch—and—judyshow,andwhenwecamebackwewerebetter。

Thebottlegotquitedustywherewehadputit,andperhapsthedustofageswouldhavelaidthickandheavyonit,onlyaclergymancalledwhenwewereallout。Hewasnotourownclergyman—MrBristowisourownclergyman,andwealllovehim,andwewouldnottrytosellsherrytopeoplewelike,andmaketwopoundsaweekoutoftheminoursparetime。Itwasanotherclergyman,justastrayone;andheaskedElizaifthedearchildrenwouldnotliketocometohislittleSundayschool。WealwaysspendSundayafternoonswithFather。ButashehadleftthenameofhisvicaragewithEliza,andaskedhertotellustocome,wethoughtwewouldgoandcallonhim,justtoexplainaboutSundayafternoons,andwethoughtwemightaswelltakethesherrywithus。

’Iwon’tgounlessyouallgotoo,’Alicesaid,’andIwon’tdothetalking。’

Dorasaidshethoughtwehadmuchbetternotgo;butwesaid’Rot!’

anditendedinhercomingwithus,andIamgladshedid。

Oswaldsaidhewoulddothetalkingiftheothersliked,andhelearnedupwhattosayfromtheprintedpapers。

WewenttotheVicarageearlyonSaturdayafternoon,andrangatthebell。Itisanewredhousewithnotreesinthegarden,onlyveryyellowmouldandgravel。Itwasallveryneatanddry。Justbeforewerangthebellweheardsomeoneinsidecall’Jane!Jane!’

andwethoughtwewouldnotbeJaneforanything。Itwasthesoundofthevoicethatcalledthatmadeussorryforher。

Thedoorwasopenedbyaveryneatservantinblack,withawhiteapron;wesawhertyingthestringsasshecamealongthehall,throughthedifferent—colouredglassinthedoor。Herfacewasred,andIthinkshewasJane。WeaskedifwecouldseeMrMallow。

TheservantsaidMrMallowwasverybusywithhissermonjustthen,butshewouldsee。

ButOswaldsaid,’It’sallright。Heaskedustocome。’

Sosheletusallinandshutthefrontdoor,andshowedusintoaverytidyroomwithabookcasefullofalotofbookscoveredinblackcottonwithwhitelabels,andsomedullpictures,andaharmonium。AndMrMallowwaswritingatadeskwithdrawers,copyingsomethingoutofabook。Hewasstoutandshort,andworespectacles。

Hecoveredhiswritingupwhenwewentin—Ididn’tknowwhy。Helookedrathercross,andweheardJaneorsomebodybeingscoldedoutsidebythevoice。Ihopeitwasn’tforlettingusin,butI

havehaddoubts。

’Well,’saidtheclergyman,’whatisallthisabout?’

’Youaskedustocall,’Dorasaid,’aboutyourlittleSundayschool。WearetheBastablesofLewishamRoad。’

’Oh—ah,yes,’hesaid;’andshallIexpectyouallto—morrow?’

Hetookuphispenandfiddledwithit,andhedidnotaskustositdown。Butsomeofusdid。

’WealwaysspendSundayafternoonwithFather,’saidDora;’butwewishedtothankyouforbeingsokindastoaskus。’

’Andwewishedtoaskyousomethingelse!’saidOswald;andhemadeasigntoAlicetogetthesherryreadyintheglass。Shedid—

behindOswald’sbackwhilehewasspeaking。

’Mytimeislimited,’saidMrMallow,lookingathiswatch;’butstill—’Thenhemutteredsomethingaboutthefold,andwenton:

’Tellmewhatistroublingyou,mylittleman,andIwilltrytogiveyouanyhelpinmypower。Whatisityouwant?’

ThenOswaldquicklytooktheglassfromAlice,andhelditouttohim,andsaid,’Iwantyouropiniononthat。’

’Onthat,’hesaid。’Whatisit?’

’Itisashipment,’Oswaldsaid;’butit’squiteenoughforyoutotaste。’Alicehadfilledtheglasshalf—full;Isupposeshewastooexcitedtomeasureproperly。

’Ashipment?’saidtheclergyman,takingtheglassinhishand。

’Yes,’OswaldwentOn;’anexceptionalopportunity。Full—bodiedandnutty。’

’ItreallydoestasteratherlikeonekindofBrazil—nut。’Aliceputheroarinasusual。

TheVicarlookedfromAlicetoOswald,andbackagain,andOswaldwentonwithwhathehadlearnedfromtheprinting。Theclergymanheldtheglassathalf—arm’s—length,stiffly,asifhehadcaughtcold。

’Itisofaqualityneverbeforeofferedattheprice。OldDelicateAmoro—what’sitsname—’

’Amorolio,’saidH。O。

’Amoroso,’saidOswald。’H。O。,youjustshutup—CastilianAmoroso—it’satrueafter—dinnerwine,stimulatingandyet……’

’Wine?’saidMrMallow,holdingtheglassfurtheroff。’Doyouknow,’hewenton,makinghisvoiceverythickandstrong(Iexpecthedoesitlikethatinchurch),’haveyouneverbeentaughtthatitisthedrinkingofwineandspirits—yes,andBEER,whichmakeshalfthehomesinEnglandfullofwretchedlittlechildren,anddegraded,MISERABLEparents?’

’Notifyouputsugarinit,’saidAlicefirmly;’eightlumpsandshakethebottle。Wehaveeachhadmorethanateaspoonfulofit,andwewerenotillatall。ItwassomethingelsethatupsetH。O。

MostlikelyallthoseacornshegotoutofthePark。’

Theclergymanseemedtobespeechlesswithconflictingemotions,andjustthenthedooropenedandaladycamein。Shehadawhitecapwithlace,andanuglyvioletflowerinit,andshewastall,andlookedverystrong,thoughthin。AndIdobelieveshehadbeenlisteningatthedoor。

’Butwhy,’theVicarwassaying,’whydidyoubringthisdreadfulfluid,thiscurseofourcountry,tometotaste?’

’Becausewethoughtyoumightbuysome,’saidDora,whoneverseeswhenagameisup。’Inbookstheparsonloveshisbottleofoldport;andnewsherryisjustasgood—withsugar—forpeoplewholikesherry。Andifyouwouldorderadozenofthewine,thenweshouldgettwoshillings。’

Theladysaid(anditwasthevoice),’Goodgracious!Nasty,sordidlittlethings!Haven’ttheyanyonetoteachthembetter?’

AndDoragotupandsaid,’No,wearenotthosethingsyousay;butwearesorrywecameheretobecallednames。WewanttomakeourfortunejustasmuchasMrMallowdoes—onlynoonewouldlistentousifwepreached,soit’snouseourcopyingoutsermonslikehim。’

AndIthinkthatwassmartofDora,evenifitwasratherrude。

ThenIsaidperhapswehadbettergo,andtheladysaid,’Ishouldthinkso!’

Butwhenweweregoingtowrapupthebottleandglasstheclergymansaid,’No;youcanleavethat,’andweweresoupsetwedid,thoughitwasn’thisafterall。

Wewalkedhomeveryfastandnotsayingmuch,andthegirlswentuptotheirrooms。WhenIwenttotellthemteawasready,andtherewasateacake,DorawascryinglikeanythingandAlicehuggingher。

Iamafraidthereisagreatdealofcryinginthischapter,butI

can’thelpit。Girlswillsometimes;Isupposeitistheirnature,andweoughttobesorryfortheiraffliction。

’It’snogood,’Dorawassaying,’youallhateme,andyouthinkI’maprigandabusybody,butIdotrytodoright—oh,Ido!

Oswald,goaway;don’tcomeheremakingfunofme!’

SoIsaid,’I’mnotmakingfun,Sissy;don’tcry,oldgirl。’

MothertaughtmetocallherSissywhenwewereverylittleandbeforetheotherscame,butIdon’toftensomehow,nowweareold。

Ipattedherontheback,andsheputherheadagainstmysleeve,holdingontoAliceallthetime,andshewenton。Shewasinthatlaughy—cryeystatewhenpeoplesaythingstheywouldn’tsayatothertimes。

’Ohdear,ohdear—Idotry,Ido。AndwhenMotherdiedshesaid,\"Dora,takecareoftheothers,andteachthemtobegood,andkeepthemoutoftroubleandmakethemhappy。\"Shesaid,\"Takecareofthemforme,Doradear。\"AndIhavetried,andallofyouhatemeforit;andto—dayIletyoudothis,thoughIknewallthetimeitwassilly。’

IhopeyouwillnotthinkIwasamuffbutIkissedDoraforsometime。Becausegirlslikeit。AndIwillneversayagainthatshecomesthegoodeldersistertoomuch。AndIhaveputallthisinthoughIdohatetellingaboutit,becauseIownIhavebeenhardonDora,butIneverwillbeagain。Sheisagoodoldsort;ofcourseweneverknewbeforeaboutwhatMothertoldher,orwewouldn’thaveraggedheraswedid。Wedidnottellthelittleones,butIgotAlicetospeaktoDicky,andwethreecansitontheothersifrequisite。

Thismadeusforgetallaboutthesherry;butabouteighto’clocktherewasaknock,andElizawent,andwesawitwaspoorJane,ifhernamewasJane,fromtheVicarage。Shehandedinabrown—paperparcelandaletter。AndthreeminuteslaterFathercalledusintohisstudy。

Onthetablewasthebrown—paperparcel,open,withourbottleandglassonit,andFatherhadaletterinhishand。HePointedtothebottleandsighed,andsaid,’Whathaveyoubeendoingnow?’

Theletterinhishandwascoveredwithlittleblackwriting,alloverthefourlargepages。

SoDickyspokeup,andhetoldFatherthewholething,asfarasheknewit,forAliceandIhadnottoldaboutthedeadsailors’lady。

Andwhenhehaddone,Alicesaid,’HasMrMallowwrittentoyoutosayhewillbuyadozenofthesherryafterall?Itisreallynothalfbadwithsugarinit。’

Fathersaidno,hedidn’tthinkclergymencouldaffordsuchexpensivewine;andhesaidhewouldliketotasteit。Sowegavehimwhattherewasleft,forwehaddecidedcominghomethatwewouldgiveuptryingforthetwopoundsaweekinoursparetime。

Fathertastedit,andthenheactedjustasH。O。haddonewhenhehadhisteaspoonful,butofcoursewedidnotsayanything。ThenhelaughedtillIthoughthewouldneverstop。

Ithinkitwasthesherry,becauseIamsureIhavereadsomewhereabout’winethatmakethgladtheheartofman’。Hehadonlyaverylittle,whichshowsthatitwasagoodafter—dinnerwine,stimulating,andyet……Iforgettherest。

Butwhenhehaddonelaughinghesaid,’It’sallright,kids。Onlydon’tdoitagain。Thewinetradeisovercrowded;andbesides,I

thoughtyoupromisedtoconsultmebeforegoingintobusiness?’

’BeforebuyingoneIthoughtyoumeant,’saidDicky。’Thiswasonlyoncommission。’AndFatherlaughedagain。IamgladwegottheCastilianAmoroso,becauseitdidreallycheerFatherup,andyoucannotalwaysdothat,howeverhardyoutry,evenifyoumakejokes,orgivehimacomicpaper。

CHAPTER12

THENOBLENESSOFOSWALD

Thepartabouthisnoblenessonlycomesattheend,butyouwouldnotunderstanditunlessyouknewhowitbegan。Itbegan,likenearlyeverythingaboutthattime,withtreasure—seeking。

OfcourseassoonaswehadpromisedtoconsultmyFatheraboutbusinessmattersweallgaveupwantingtogointobusiness。I

don’tknowhowitis,buthavingtoconsultaboutathingwithgrown—uppeople,eventhebravestandthebest,seemstomakethethingnotworthdoingafterwards。

Wedon’tmindAlbert’sunclechippinginsometimeswhenthething’sgoingon,butwearegladheneveraskedustopromisetoconsulthimaboutanything。YetOswaldsawthatmyFatherwasquiteright;

andIdaresayifwehadhadthathundredpoundsweshouldhavespentitontheshareinthatlucrativebusinessforthesaleofusefulpatent,andthenfoundoutafterwardsthatweshouldhavedonebettertospendthemoneyinsomeotherway。MyFathersaysso,andheoughttoknow。Wehadseveralideasaboutthattime,buthavingsolittlechinkalwaysstoodintheway。

ThiswasthecasewithH。O。’sideaofsettingupacoconut—shyonthissideoftheHeath,wheretherearenonegenerally。Wehadnosticksorwoodenballs,andthegreengrocersaidhecouldnotbooksomanyastwelvedozencoconutswithoutMrBastable’swrittenorder。AndaswedidnotwishtoconsultmyFatheritwasdecidedtodropit。AndwhenAlicedressedupPincherinsomeofthedolls’clothesandwemadeupourmindstotakehimroundwithanorganassoonaswehadtaughthimtodance,wewerestoppedatoncebyDicky’srememberinghowhehadonceheardthatanorgancostsevenhundredpounds。Ofcoursethiswasthebigchurchkind,buteventheonesonthreelegscan’tbegotforone—and—sevenpence,whichwasallwehadwhenwefirstthoughtofit。Sowegavethatuptoo。

Itwasawetday,Iremember,andmuttonhashfordinner—verytoughwithpalegravywithlumpsinit。Ithinktheotherswouldhaveleftagooddealonthesidesoftheirplates,althoughtheyknowbetter,onlyOswaldsaiditwasasavourystewmadeofthereddeerthatEdwardshot。SothenweweretheChildrenoftheNewForest,andthemuttontastedmuchbetter。NooneintheNewForestmindsvenisonbeingtoughandthegravypale。

Thenafterdinnerweletthegirlshaveadolls’tea—party,onconditiontheydidn’texpectusboystowashup;anditwaswhenweweredrinkingthelastoftheliquoricewateroutofthelittlecupsthatDickysaid—

’Thisremindsme。’

Sowesaid,’Whatof?’

Dickyansweredusatonce,thoughhismouthwasfullofbreadwithliquoricestuckinittolooklikecake。Youshouldnotspeakwithyourmouthfull,eventoyourownrelations,andyoushouldn’twipeyourmouthonthebackofyourhand,butonyourhandkerchief,ifyouhaveone。Dickydidnotdothis。Hesaid—

’Why,yourememberwhenwefirstbeganabouttreasure—seeking,I

saidIhadthoughtofsomething,onlyIcouldnottellyoubecauseIhadn’tfinishedthinkingaboutit。’

Wesaid’Yes。’

’Well,thisliquoricewater—’

’Tea,’saidAlicesoftly。

’Well,teathen—mademethink。’Hewasgoingontosaywhatitmadehimthink,butNoelinterruptedandcriedout,’Isay;let’sfinishoffthisoldtea—partyandhaveacouncilofwar。’

Sowegotouttheflagsandthewoodenswordandthedrum,andOswaldbeatitwhilethegirlswashedup,tillElizacameuptosayshehadthejumpingtoothache,andthenoisewentthroughherlikeaknife。SoofcourseOswaldleftoffatonce。WhenyouarepolitetoOswaldheneverrefusestograntyourrequests。

Whenwewerealldressedupwesatdownroundthecampfire,andDickybeganagain。

’Everyoneintheworldwantsmoney。Somepeoplegetit。Thepeoplewhogetitaretheoneswhoseethings。Ihaveseenonething。’

Dickystoppedandsmokedthepipeofpeace。Itisthepipewedidbubbleswithinthesummer,andsomehowithasnotgotbrokenyet。

Weputtea—leavesinitforthepipeofpeace,butthegirlsarenotallowedtohaveany。Itisnotrighttoletgirlssmoke。Theygettothinktoomuchofthemselvesifyouletthemdoeverythingthesameasmen。Oswaldsaid,’Outwithit。’

’Iseethatglassbottlesonlycostapenny。H。O。,ifyoudaretosniggerI’llsendyouroundsellingoldbottles,andyoushan’thaveanysweetsexceptoutofthemoneyyougetforthem。Andthesamewithyou,Noel。’

’NoElwasn’tsniggering,’saidAliceinahurry;’itisonlyhistakingsomuchinterestinwhatyouweresayingmakeshimlooklikethat。Bequiet,H。O。,anddon’tyoumakefaces,either。Dogoon,Dickydear。’

SoDickywenton。

’Theremustbehundredsofmillionsofbottlesofmedicinessoldeveryyear。Becauseallthedifferentmedicinessay,\"Thousandsofcuresdaily,\"andifyouonlytakethatastwothousand,whichitmustbe,atleast,itmountsup。Andthepeoplewhosellthemmustmakeagreatdealofmoneybythembecausetheyarenearlyalwaystwo—and—ninepencethebottle,andthree—and—sixforonenearlydoublethesize。Nowthebottles,asIwassaying,don’tcostanythinglikethat。’

’It’sthemedicinecoststhemoney,’saidDora;’lookhowexpensivejujubesareatthechemist’s,andpeppermintstoo。’

’That’sonlybecausethey’renice,’Dickyexplained;’nastythingsarenotsodear。Lookwhatalotofbrimstoneyougetforapenny,andthesamewithalum。Wewouldnotputthenicekindsofchemist’sthingsinourmedicine。’

Thenhewentontotellusthatwhenwehadinventedourmedicinewewouldwriteandtelltheeditoraboutit,andhewouldputitinthepaper,andthenpeoplewouldsendtheirtwo—and—ninepenceandthree—and—sixforthebottlenearlydoublethesize,andthenwhenthemedicinehadcuredthemtheywouldwritetothepaperandtheirletterswouldbeprinted,sayinghowtheyhadbeensufferingforyears,andneverthoughttogetaboutagain,butthankstotheblessingofourointment—’

Dorainterruptedandsaid,’Notointment—it’ssomessy。’AndAlicethoughtsotoo。AndDickysaidhedidnotmeanit,hewasquitedecidedtoletitbeinbottles。Sonowitwasallsettled,andwedidnotseeatthetimethatthiswouldbeasortofgoingintobusiness,butafterwardswhenAlbert’suncleshoweduswesawit,andweweresorry。Weonlyhadtoinventthemedicine。Youmightthinkthatwaseasy,becauseofthenumberofthemyouseeeverydayinthepaper,butitismuchharderthanyouthink。

Firstwehadtodecidewhatsortofillnessweshouldliketocure,anda’heateddiscussionensued’,likeinParliament。

Dorawantedittobesomethingtomakethecomplexionofdazzlingfairness,butwerememberedhowherfacecameallredandroughwhensheusedtheRosabellasoapthatwasadvertisedtomakethedarkestcomplexionfairasthelily,andsheagreedthatperhapsitwasbetternot。Noelwantedtomakethemedicinefirstandthenfindoutwhatitwouldcure,butDickythoughtnot,becausetherearesomanymoremedicinesthantherearethingsthematterwithus,soitwouldbeeasiertochoosethediseasefirst。

Oswaldwouldhavelikedwounds。Istillthinkitwasagoodidea,butDickysaid,’Whohaswounds,especiallynowtherearen’tanywars?Weshouldn’tsellabottleaday!’SoOswaldgaveinbecauseheknowswhatmannersare,anditwasDicky’sidea。H。O。

wantedacurefortheuncomfortablefeelingthattheygiveyoupowdersfor,butweexplainedtohimthatgrown—uppeopledonothavethisfeeling,howevermuchtheyeat,andheagreed。Dickysaidhedidnotcareastrawwhattheloathsomediseasewas,aslongaswehurriedupandsettledonsomething。ThenAlicesaid—

’Itoughttobesomethingverycommon,andonlyonething。Notthepainsinthebackandallthehundredsofthingsthepeoplehaveinsomebody’ssyrup。What’sthecommonestthingofall?’

Andatoncewesaid,’Colds。’

Sothatwassettled。

Thenwewrotealabeltogoonthebottle。Whenitwaswrittenitwouldnotgoonthevinegarbottlethatwehadgot,butweknewitwouldgosmallwhenitwasprinted。Itwaslikethis:

BASTABLE’S

CERTAINCUREFORCOLDSCoughs,Asthma,ShortnessofBreath,andallinfectionsoftheChestOnedosegivesimmediatereliefItwillcureyourcoldinonebottleEspeciallythelargersizeat3s。6d。

OrderatonceoftheMakersTopreventdisappointmentMakers:

D。,O。,R。,A。,N。,andH。O。BASTABLE

150LewishamRoad,S。E。

(Ahalfpennyforallbottlesreturned)

Ofcoursethenextthingwasforoneofustocatchacoldandtrywhatcuredit;weallwantedtobetheone,butitwasDicky’sidea,andhesaidhewasnotgoingtobedoneoutofit,sowelethim。Itwasonlyfair。Heleftoffhisundershirtthatveryday,andnextmorninghestoodinadraughtinhisnightgownforquitealongtime。Andwedampedhisday—shirtwiththenail—brushbeforeheputiton。Butallwasvain。Theyalwaystellyouthatthesethingswillgiveyoucold,butwefounditwasnotso。

SothenweallwentovertothePark,andDickywentrightintothewaterwithhisbootson,andstoodthereaslongashecouldbearit,foritwasrathercold,andwestoodandcheeredhimon。Hewalkedhomeinhiswetclothes,whichtheysayisasurething,butitwasnogo,thoughhisbootswerequitespoiled。AndthreedaysafterNoelbegantocoughandsneeze。

SothenDickysaiditwasnotfair。

’Ican’thelpit,’Noelsaid。’Youshouldhavecaughtityourself,thenitwouldn’thavecometome。

AndAlicesaidshehadknownallalongNoeloughtn’ttohavestoodaboutonthebankcheeringinthecold。

Noelhadtogotobed,andthenwebegantomakethemedicines;weweresorryhewasoutofit,buthehadthefunoftakingthethings。

Wemadeagreatmanymedicines。Alicemadeherbtea。Shegotsageandthymeandsavoryandmarjoramandboiledthemalluptogetherwithsaltandwater,butsheWOULDputparsleyintoo。Oswaldissureparsleyisnotaherb。Itisonlyputonthecoldmeatandyouarenotsupposedtoeatit。Itkillsparrotstoeatparsley,Ibelieve。IexpectitwastheparsleythatdisagreedsowithNoel。Themedicinedidnotseemtodothecoughanygood。

Oswaldgotapennyworthofalum,becauseitissocheap,andsometurpentinewhicheveryoneknowsisgoodforcolds,andalittlesugarandananiseedball。Theseweremixedinabottlewithwater,butElizathrewitawayandsaiditwasnastyrubbish,andIhadn’tanymoneytogetmorethingswith。

Doramadehimsomegruel,andhesaiditdidhischestgood;butofcoursethatwasnouse,becauseyoucannotputgruelinbottlesandsayitismedicine。Itwouldnotbehonest,andbesidesnobodywouldbelieveyou。

Dickmixeduplemon—juiceandsugarandalittleofthejuiceoftheredflannelthatNoel’sthroatwasdoneupin。Itcomesoutbeautifullyinhotwater。NoEltookthisandhelikedit。NoEl’sownideawasliquorice—water,andwelethimhaveit,butitistooplainandblacktosellinbottlesattheproperprice。

NoEllikedH。O。’smedicinethebest,whichwassillyofhim,becauseitwasonlypeppermintsmeltedinhotwater,andalittlecobalttomakeitlookblue。Itwasallright,becauseH。O。’spaint—boxistheFrenchkind,withCouleursnonVgngneusesonit。

Thismeansyoumaysuckyourbrushesifyouwantto,orevenyourpaintsifyouareaverylittleboy。

ItwasratherjollywhileNoelhadthatcold。HehadafireinhisbedroomwhichopensoutofDicky’sandOswald’s,andthegirlsusedtoreadaloudtoNoelallday;theywillnotreadaloudtoyouwhenyouarewell。FatherwasawayatLiverpoolonbusiness,andAlbert’sunclewasatHastings。Wewererathergladofthis,becausewewishedtogiveallthemedicinesafairtrial,andgrown—upsarebuttoofondofinterfering。Asifweshouldhavegivenhimanythingpoisonous!

Hiscoldwenton—itwasbadinhishead,butitwasnotoneofthekindwhenhehastohavepoulticesandcan’tsitupinbed。

Butwhenithadbeeninhisheadnearlyaweek,OswaldhappenedtotumbleoverAliceonthestairs。Whenwegotupshewascrying。

’Don’tcrysilly!’saidOswald;’youknowIdidn’thurtyou。’I

wasverysorryifIhadhurther,butyououghtnottositonthestairsinthedarkandletotherpeopletumbleoveryou。Yououghttorememberhowbeastlyitisforthemiftheydohurtyou。

’Oh,it’snotthat,Oswald,’Alicesaid。’Don’tbeapig!Iamsomiserable。Dobekindtome。’

SoOswaldthumpedheronthebackandtoldhertoshutup。

’It’saboutNoel,’shesaid。’I’msurehe’sveryill;andplayingaboutwithmedicinesisallverywell,butIknowhe’sill,andElizawon’tsendforthedoctor:shesaysit’sonlyacold。AndI

knowthedoctor’sbillsareawful。IheardFathertellingAuntEmilysointhesummer。Buthewas,andperhapshe’lldieorsomething。’

Thenshebegantocryagain。Oswaldthumpedheragain,becauseheknowshowagoodbrotheroughttobehave,andsaid,’Cheerup。’IfwehadbeeninabookOswaldwouldhaveembracedhislittlesistertenderly,andmingledhistearswithhers。

ThenOswaldsaid,’WhynotwritetoFather?’

Andshecriedmoreandsaid,’I’velostthepaperwiththeaddress。

H。O。hadittodrawonthebackof,andIcan’tfinditnow;I’velookedeverywhere。I’lltellyouwhatI’mgoingtodo。NoI

won’t。ButI’mgoingout。Don’ttelltheothers。AndIsay,Oswald,dopretendI’minifElizaasks。Promise。’

’Tellmewhatyou’regoingtodo,’Isaid。Butshesaid’No’;andtherewasagoodreasonwhynot。SoIsaidIwouldn’tpromiseifitcametothat。OfcourseImeanttoallright。Butitdidseemmeanofhernottotellme。

SoAlicewentoutbythesidedoorwhileElizawassettingtea,andshewasalongtimegone;shewasnotintotea。WhenElizaaskedOswaldwhereshewashesaidhedidnotknow,butperhapsshewastidyinghercornerdrawer。Girlsoftendothis,andittakesalongtime。NoElcoughedagoodbitaftertea,andaskedforAlice。

Oswaldtoldhimshewasdoingsomethinganditwasasecret。

Oswalddidnottellanylieseventosavehissister。WhenAlicecamebackshewasveryquiet,butshewhisperedtoOswaldthatitwasallright。WhenitwasratherlateElizasaidshewasgoingouttopostaletter。Thisalwaystakesheranhour,becausesheWILLgotothepost—officeacrosstheHeathinsteadofthepillar—box,becauseonceaboydroppedfuseesinourpillar—boxandburnttheletters。Itwasnotanyofus;Elizatoldusaboutit。

AndwhentherewasaknockatthedooralongtimeafterwethoughtitwasElizacomeback,andthatshehadforgottentheback—doorkey。WemadeH。O。godowntoopenthedoor,becauseitishisplacetorunabout:hislegsareyoungerthanours。AndweheardbootsonthestairsbesidesH。O。’s,andwelistenedspellboundtillthedooropened,anditwasAlbert’suncle。Helookedverytired。

’Iamgladyou’vecome,’Oswaldsaid。’AlicebegantothinkNoel—’

Alicestoppedme,andherfacewasveryred,hernosewasshinytoo,withhavingcriedsomuchbeforetea。

Shesaid,’IonlysaidIthoughtNoeloughttohavethedoctor。

Don’tyouthinkheought?’ShegotholdofAlbert’suncleandheldontohim。

’Let’shavealookatyou,youngman,’saidAlbert’suncle,andhesatdownontheedgeofthebed。Itisarathershakybed,thebarthatkeepsitsteadyunderneathgotbrokenwhenwewereplayingburglarslastwinter。Itwasourcrowbar。HebegantofeelNoel’spulse,andwentontalking。

’ItwasrevealedtotheArabphysicianashemademerryinhistentsonthewildplainsofHastingsthatthePresencehadacoldinitshead。Soheimmediatelyseatedhimselfonthemagiccarpet,andbadeitbearhimhither,onlypausingintheflighttopurchaseafewsweetmeatsinthebazaar。’

Hepulledoutajollylotofchocolateandsomebutterscotch,andgrapesforNoel。Whenwehadallsaidthankyou,hewenton。

’Thephysician’sarethewordsofwisdom:it’shightimethiskidwasasleep。Ihavespoken。Yehavemyleavetodepart。’

Sowebunked,andDoraandAlbert’sunclemadeNoelcomfortableforthenight。

Thentheycametothenurserywhichwehadgonedownto,andhesatdownintheGuyFawkeschairandsaid,’Nowthen。’

Alicesaid,’YoumaytellthemwhatIdid。Idaresaythey’llallbeinawax,butIdon’tcare。’

’Ithinkyouwereverywise,’saidAlbert’suncle,pullingherclosetohimtositonhisknee。’Iamverygladyoutelegraphed。’

SothenOswaldunderstoodwhatAlice’ssecretwas。ShehadgoneoutandsentatelegramtoAlbert’suncleatHastings。ButOswaldthoughtshemighthavetoldhim。Afterwardsshetoldmewhatshehadputinthetelegram。Itwas,’Comehome。WehavegivenNoelacold,andIthinkwearekillinghim。’Withtheaddressitcametotenpence—halfpenny。

ThenAlbert’sunclebegantoaskquestions,anditallcameout,howDickyhadtriedtocatchthecold,butthecoldhadgonetoNoelinstead,andaboutthemedicinesandall。Albert’sunclelookedveryserious。

’Lookhere,’hesaid,’You’reoldenoughnottoplaythefoollikethis。Healthisthebestthingyou’vegot;yououghttoknowbetterthantoriskit。Youmighthavekilledyourlittlebrotherwithyourpreciousmedicines。You’vehadaluckyescape,certainly。ButpoorNoel!’

’Oh,doyouthinkhe’sgoingtodie?’Aliceaskedthat,andshewascryingagain。

’No,no,’saidAlbert’suncle;’butlookhere。Doyouseehowsillyyou’vebeen?AndIthoughtyoupromisedyourFather—’Andthenhegaveusalongtalking—to。HecanmakeyoufeelmostawfullySmall。Atlasthestopped,andwesaidwewereverysorry,andhesaid,’YouknowIpromisedtotakeyoualltothepantomime?’

Sowesaid,’Yes,’andknewbuttoowellthatnowhewasn’tgoingto。Thenhewenton—

’Well,Iwilltakeyouifyoulike,orIwilltakeNoeltotheseaforaweektocurehiscold。Whichisittobe?’

Ofcourseheknewweshouldsay,’TakeNoel’andwedid;butDickytoldmeafterwardshethoughtitwashardonH。O。

Albert’sunclestayedtillElizacamein,andthenhesaidgoodnightinawaythatshowedusthatallwasforgivenandforgotten。

Andwewenttobed。ItmusthavebeenthemiddleofthenightwhenOswaldwokeupsuddenly,andtherewasAlicewithherteethchattering,shakinghimtowakehim。

’Oh,Oswald!’shesaid,’Iamsounhappy。SupposeIshoulddieinthenight!’

Oswaldtoldhertogotobedandnotgas。Butshesaid,’Imusttellyou;IwishI’dtoldAlbert’suncle。I’mathief,andifI

dieto—nightIknowwherethievesgoto。’SoOswaldsawitwasnogoodandhesatupinbedandsaid—’Goahead。’SoAlicestoodshiveringandsaid—’Ihadn’tenoughmoneyforthetelegram,soI

tookthebadsixpenceoutoftheexchequer。AndIpaidforitwiththatandthefivepenceIhad。AndIwouldn’ttellyou,becauseifyou’dstoppedmedoingitIcouldn’thaveborneit;andifyou’dhelpedmeyou’dhavebeenathieftoo。Oh,whatshallIdo?’

Oswaldthoughtaminute,andthenhesaid—

’You’dbetterhavetoldme。ButIthinkitwillbeallrightifwepayitback。Gotobed。Crosswithyou?No,stupid!Onlyanothertimeyou’dbetternotkeepsecrets。’

SoshekissedOswald,andhelether,andshewentbacktobed。

ThenextdayAlbert’suncletookNoelaway,beforeOswaldhadtimetopersuadeAlicethatweoughttotellhimaboutthesixpence。

Alicewasveryunhappy,butnotsomuchasinthenight:youcanbeverymiserableinthenightifyouhavedoneanythingwrongandyouhappentobeawake。Iknowthisforafact。

NoneofushadanymoneyexceptEliza,andshewouldn’tgiveusanyunlesswesaidwhatfor;andofcoursewecouldnotdothatbecauseofthehonourofthefamily。AndOswaldwasanxioustogetthesixpencetogivetothetelegraphpeoplebecausehefearedthatthebadnessofthatsixpencemighthavebeenfoundout,andthatthepolicemightcomeforAliceatanymoment。Idon’tthinkIeverhadsuchanunhappyday。OfcoursewecouldhavewrittentoAlbert’suncle,butitwouldhavetakenalongtime,andeverymomentofdelayaddedtoAlice’sdanger。Wethoughtandthought,butwecouldn’tthinkofanywaytogetthatsixpence。Itseemsasmallsum,butyouseeAlice’slibertydependedonit。ItwasquitelateintheafternoonwhenImetMrsLeslieontheParade。

Shehadabrownfurcoatandalotofyellowflowersinherhands。

Shestoppedtospeaktome,andaskedmehowthePoetwas。Itoldherhehadacold,andIwonderedwhethershewouldlendmesixpenceifIaskedher,butIcouldnotmakeupmymindhowtobegintosayit。Itisahardthingtosay—muchharderthanyouwouldthink。Shetalkedtomeforabit,andthenshesuddenlygotintoacab,andsaid—

’I’dnoideaitwassolate,’andtoldthemanwheretogo。Andjustasshestartedsheshovedtheyellowflowersthroughthewindowandsaid,’Forthesickpoet,withmylove,’andwasdrivenoff。

Gentlereader,IwillnotconcealfromyouwhatOswalddid。Heknewallaboutnotdisgracingthefamily,andhedidnotlikedoingwhatIamgoingtosay:andtheywerereallyNoel’sflowers,onlyhecouldnothavesentthemtoHastings,andOswaldknewhewouldsay’Yes’ifOswaldaskedhim。Oswaldsacrificedhisfamilypridebecauseofhislittlesister’sdanger。Idonotsayhewasanobleboy—Ijusttellyouwhathedid,andyoucandecideforyourselfaboutthenobleness。

Heputonhisoldestclothes—they’remucholderthananyyouwouldthinkhehadifyousawhimwhenhewastidy—andhetookthoseyellowchrysanthemumsandhewalkedwiththemtoGreenwichStationandwaitedforthetrainsbringingpeoplefromLondon。Hesoldthoseflowersinpennybunchesandgottenpence。ThenhewenttothetelegraphofficeatLewisham,andsaidtotheladythere:

’Alittlegirlgaveyouabadsixpenceyesterday。Herearesixgoodpennies。’

Theladysaidshehadnotnoticedit,andnevermind,butOswaldknewthat’HonestyisthebestPolicy’,andherefusedtotakebackthepennies。SoatlastshesaidsheshouldputthemintheplateonSunday。Sheisaverynicelady。Ilikethewayshedoesherhair。

ThenOswaldwenthometoAliceandtoldher,andshehuggedhim,andsaidhewasadear,good,kindboy,andhesaid’Oh,it’sallright。’

WeboughtpeppermintbullseyeswiththefourpenceIhadover,andtheotherswantedtoknowwherewegotthemoney,butwewouldnottell。

OnlyafterwardswhenNoelcamehomewetoldhim,becausetheywerehisflowers,andhesaiditwasquiteright。Hemadesomepoetryaboutit。Ionlyrememberonebitofit。

ThenobleyouthofhighdegreeConsentstoplayamenialpart,AllforhissisterAlice’ssake,Whowassodeartohisfaithfulheart。

ButOswaldhimselfhasneverbraggedaboutit。Wegotnotreasureoutofthis,unlessyoucountthepeppermintbullseyes。

CHAPTER13

THEROBBERANDTHEBURGLAR

AdayortwoafterNoelcamebackfromHastingstherewassnow;itwasjolly。Andwecleareditoffthepath。Amantodoitissixpenceatleast,andyoushouldalwayssavewhenyoucan。A

pennysavedisapennyearned。Andthenwethoughtitwouldbenicetoclearitoffthetopoftheportico,whereitliessothick,andtheedgesasiftheyhadbeencutwithaknife。Andjustaswehadgotoutofthelanding—windowontotheportico,theWaterRatescameupthepathwithhisbookthathetearsthethingoutofthatsayshowmuchyouhavegottopay,andthelittleink—bottlehungontohisbuttonholeincaseyoushouldpayhim。

FathersaystheWaterRatesisasensibleman,andknowsitisalwayswelltobepreparedforwhateverhappens,howeverunlikely。

AlicesaidafterwardsthatsheratherlikedtheWaterRates,really,andNoelsaidhehadafacelikeagoodvizier,orthemanwhorewardsthehonestboyforrestoringthepurse,butwedidnotthinkaboutthesethingsatthetime,andastheWaterRatescameupthesteps,weshovelleddownagreatsquareslabofsnowlikeanavalanche—anditfellrightonhishead。Twoofusthoughtofitatthesamemoment,soitwasquitealargeavalanche。AndwhentheWaterRateshadshakenhimselfherangthebell。ItwasSaturday,andFatherwasathome。WeknownowthatitisverywrongandungentlemanlytoshovelsnowoffporticoesontotheWaterRates,oranyotherperson,andwehopehedidnotcatchacold,andweareverysorry。WeapologizedtotheWaterRateswhenFathertoldusto。Wewereallsenttobedforit。

Wealldeservedthepunishment,becausetheotherswouldhaveshovelleddownsnowjustaswedidifthey’dthoughtofit—onlytheyarenotsoquickatthinkingofthingsasweare。Andevenquitewrongthingssometimesleadtoadventures;aseveryoneknowswhohaseverreadaboutpiratesorhighwaymen。

Elizahatesustobesenttobedearly,becauseitmeansherhavingtobringmealsup,anditmeanslightingthefireinNoel’sroomeversomuchearlierthanusual。Hehadtohaveafirebecausehestillhadabitofacold。ButthisparticulardaywegotElizaintoagoodtemperbygivingherahorridbroochwithpretendingamethystsinit,thatanauntoncegavetoAlice,soElizabroughtupanextrascuttleofcoals,andwhenthegreengrocercamewiththepotatoes(heisalwayslateonSaturdays)shegotsomechestnutsfromhim。SothatwhenweheardFathergooutafterhisdinner,therewasajollyfireinNoel’sroom,andwewereabletogoinandbeRedIndiansinblanketsmostcomfortably。Elizahadgoneout;shesaysshegetsthingscheaperonSaturdaynights。Shehasagreatfriend,whosellsfishatashop,andheisverygenerous,andletsherhaveherringsforlessthanhalfthenaturalprice。

Sowewereallaloneinthehouse;PincherwasoutwithEliza,andwetalkedaboutrobbers。AndDorathoughtitwouldbeadreadfultrade,butDickysaid—

’Ithinkitwouldbeveryinteresting。Andyouwouldonlyrobrichpeople,andbeverygeneroustothepoorandneedy,likeClaudeDuval。’

Dorasaid,’Itiswrongtobearobber。’

’Yes,’saidAlice,’youwouldneverknowahappyhour。Thinkoftryingtosleepwiththestolenjewelsunderyourbed,andrememberingallthequantitiesofpolicemenanddetectivesthatthereareintheworld!’

’Therearewaysofbeingrobbersthatarenotwrong,’saidNoel;

’ifyoucanrobarobberitisarightact。’

’Butyoucan’t,’saidDora;’heistooclever,andbesides,it’swronganyway。’

’Yesyoucan,anditisn’t;andmurderinghimwithboilingoilisarightact,too,sothere!’saidNoel。’WhataboutAliBaba?Nowthen!’AndwefeltitwasascoreforNoEl。

’Whatwouldyoudoiftherewasarobber?’saidAlice。

H。O。saidhewouldkillhimwithboilingoil;butAliceexplainedthatshemeantarealrobber—now—thisminute—inthehouse。

OswaldandDickydidnotsay;butNoelsaidhethoughtitwouldonlybefairtoasktherobberquitepolitelyandquietlytogoaway,andthenifhedidn’tyoucoulddealwithhim。

NowwhatIamgoingtotellyouisaverystrangeandwonderfulthing,andIhopeyouwillbeabletobelieveit。Ishouldnot,ifaboytoldme,unlessIknewhimtobeamanofhonour,andperhapsnotthenunlesshegavehissacredword。Butitistrue,allthesame,anditonlyshowsthatthedaysofromanceanddaringdeedsarenotyetatanend。

AlicewasjustaskingNoelhowhewoulddealwiththerobberwhowouldn’tgoifhewasaskedpolitelyandquietly,whenweheardanoisedownstairs—quiteaplainnoise,notthekindofnoiseyoufancyyouhear。Itwaslikesomebodymovingachair。Weheldourbreathandlistenedandthencameanothernoise,likesomeonepokingafire。Now,youremembertherewasnoonetopokeafireormoveachairdownstairs,becauseElizaandFatherwerebothout。

Theycouldnothavecomeinwithoutourhearingthem,becausethefrontdoorisashardtoshutasthebackone,andwhicheveryougoinbyyouhavetogiveaslamthatyoucanhearalldownthestreet。

H。O。andAliceandDoracaughtholdofeachother’sblanketsandlookedatDickyandOswald,andeveryonewasquitepale。AndNoelwhispered—

’It’sghosts,Iknowitis’—andthenwelistenedagain,buttherewasnomorenoise。PresentlyDorasaidinawhisper—

’Whatevershallwedo?Oh,whatevershallwedo—whatshallwedo?’

Andshekeptonsayingittillwehadtotellhertoshutup。

Oreader,haveyoueverbeenplayingRedIndiansinblanketsroundabedroomfireinahousewhereyouthoughttherewasnoonebutyou—andthensuddenlyheardanoiselikeachair,andafirebeingpoked,downstairs?Unlessyouhaveyouwillnotbeabletoimagineatallwhatitfeelslike。Itwasnotlikeinbooks;ourhairdidnotstandonendatall,andweneversaid’Hist!’once,butourfeetgotverycold,thoughwewereinblanketsbythefire,andtheinsidesofOswald’shandsgotwarmandwet,andhisnosewascoldlikeadog’s,andhisearswereburninghot。

Thegirlssaidafterwardsthattheyshiveredwithterror,andtheirteethchattered,butwedidnotseeorhearthisatthetime。

’Shallweopenthewindowandcallpolice?’saidDora;andthenOswaldsuddenlythoughtofsomething,andhebreathedmorefreelyandhesaid—

’Iknowit’snotghosts,andIdon’tbelieveit’srobbers。I

expectit’sastraycatgotinwhenthecoalscamethismorning,andshe’sbeenhidinginthecellar,andnowshe’smovingabout。

Let’sgodownandsee。’

Thegirlswouldn’t,ofcourse;butIcouldseethattheybreathedmorefreelytoo。ButDickysaid,’Allright;Iwillifyouwill。’

H。O。said,’Doyouthinkit’sreallyacat?’Sowesaidhehadbetterstaywiththegirls。AndofcourseafterthatwehadtolethimandAlicebothcome。DorasaidifwetookNoeldownwithhiscold,shewouldscream’Fire!’and’Murder!’andshedidn’tmindifthewholestreetheard。

SoNoelagreedtobegettinghisclotheson,andtherestofussaidwewouldgodownandlookforthecat。

NowOswaldsaidthataboutthecat,anditmadeiteasiertogodown,butinhisinsidehedidnotfeelatallsurethatitmightnotberobbersafterall。Ofcourse,wehadoftentalkedaboutrobbersbefore,butitisverydifferentwhenyousitinaroomandlistenandlistenandlisten;andOswaldfeltsomehowthatitwouldbeeasiertogodownandseewhatitwas,thantowait,andlisten,andwait,andwait,andlisten,andwait,andthenperhapstohearIt,whateveritwas,comecreepingslowlyupthestairsassoftlyasItcouldwithItsbootsoff,andthestairscreaking,towardstheroomwherewewerewiththedooropenincaseofElizacomingbacksuddenly,andalldarkonthelandings。Andthenitwouldhavebeenjustasbad,anditwouldhavelastedlonger,andyouwouldhaveknownyouwereacowardbesides。

Dickysayshefeltallthesesamethings。Manypeoplewouldsaywewereyoungheroestogodownaswedid;soIhavetriedtoexplain,becausenoyoungherowishestohavemorecreditthanhedeserves。

Thelandinggaswasturneddownlow—justabluebead—andwefourwentoutverysoftly,wrappedinourblankets,andwestoodonthetopofthestairsagoodlongtimebeforewebegantogodown。

Andwelistenedandlistenedtillourearsbuzzed。

AndOswaldwhisperedtoDicky,andDickywentintoourroomandfetchedthelargetoypistolthatisafootlong,andthathasthetriggerbroken,andItookitbecauseIamtheeldest;andIdon’tthinkeitherofusthoughtitwasthecatnow。ButAliceandH。O。

did。DickygotthepokeroutofNoel’sroom,andtoldDoraitwastosettlethecatwithwhenwecaughther。

ThenOswaldwhispered,’Let’splayatburglars;DickyandIarearmedtotheteeth,wewillgofirst。Youkeepaflightbehindus,andbeareinforcementifweareattacked。Oryoucanretreatanddefendthewomenandchildreninthefortress,ifyou’drather。’

Buttheysaidtheywouldbeareinforcement。

Oswald’steethchatteredalittlewhenhespoke。Itwasnotwithanythingelseexceptcold。

SoDickyandOswaldcreptdown,andwhenwegottothebottomofthestairs,wesawFather’sstudydoorjustajar,andthecrackoflight。AndOswaldwassopleasedtoseethelight,knowingthatburglarspreferthedark,oratanyratethedarklantern,thathefeltreallysureitwasthecatafterall,andthenhethoughtitwouldbefuntomaketheothersupstairsthinkitwasreallyarobber。Sohecockedthepistol—youcancockit,butitdoesn’tgooff—andhesaid,’Comeon,Dick!’andherushedatthestudydoorandburstintotheroom,crying,’Surrender!youarediscovered!Surrender,orIfire!Throwupyourhands!’

And,ashefinishedsayingit,hesawbeforehim,standingonthestudyhearthrug,aRealRobber。Therewasnomistakeaboutit。

Oswaldwassureitwasarobber,becauseithadascrewdriverinitshands,andwasstandingnearthecupboarddoorthatH。O。brokethelockoff;andthereweregimletsandscrewsandthingsonthefloor。Thereisnothinginthatcupboardbutoldledgersandmagazinesandthetoolchest,butofcourse,arobbercouldnotknowthatbeforehand。

WhenOswaldsawthattherereallywasarobber,andthathewassoheavilyarmedwiththescrewdriver,hedidnotfeelcomfortable。

Buthekeptthepistolpointedattherobber,and—youwillhardlybelieveit,butitistrue—therobberthrewdownthescrewdriverclatteringontheothertools,andhedidthrowuphishands,andsaid—

’Isurrender;don’tshootme!Howmanyofyouarethere?’

SoDickysaid,’Youareoutnumbered。Areyouarmed?’

Andtherobbersaid,’No,notintheleast。’

AndOswaldsaid,stillpointingthepistol,andfeelingverystrongandbraveandasifhewasinabook,’Turnoutyourpockets。’

Therobberdid:andwhileheturnedthemOut,welookedathim。Hewasofthemiddleheight,andcladinablackfrock—coatandgreytrousers。Hisbootswerealittlegoneatthesides,andhisshirt—cuffswereabitfrayed,butotherwisehewasofgentlemanlydemeanour。Hehadathin,wrinkledface,withbig,lighteyesthatsparkled,andthenlookedsoftveryqueerly,andashortbeard。Inhisyouthitmusthavebeenofafairgoldencolour,butnowitwastingedwithgrey。Oswaldwassorryforhim,especiallywhenhesawthatoneofhispocketshadalargeholeinit,andthathehadnothinginhispocketsbutlettersandstringandthreeboxesofmatches,andapipeandahandkerchiefandathintobaccopouchandtwopennies。Wemadehimputallthethingsonthetable,andthenhesaid—

’Well,you’vecaughtme;whatareyougoingtodowithme?

Police?’

AliceandH。O。hadcomedowntobereinforcements,whentheyheardashout,andwhenAlicesawthatitwasaRealRobber,andthathehadsurrendered,sheclappedherhandsandsaid,’Bravo,boys!’andsodidH。O。Andnowshesaid,’Ifhegiveshiswordofhonournottoescape,Ishouldn’tcallthepolice:itseemsapity。WaittillFathercomeshome。’

Therobberagreedtothis,andgavehiswordofhonour,andaskedifhemightputonapipe,andwesaid’Yes,’andhesatinFather’sarmchairandwarmedhisboots,whichsteamed,andIsentH。O。andAlicetoputonsomeclothesandtelltheothers,andbringdownDicky’sandmyknickerbockers,andtherestofthechestnuts。

Andtheyallcame,andwesatroundthefire,anditwasjolly。

Therobberwasveryfriendly,andtalkedtousagreatdeal。

’Iwasn’talwaysinthislowwayofbusiness,’hesaid,whenNoelsaidsomethingaboutthethingshehadturnedoutofhispockets。

’It’sagreatcome—downtoamanlikeme。But,ifImustbecaught,it’ssomethingtobecaughtbybraveyoungheroeslikeyou。

Mystars!Howyoudidboltintotheroom,—\"Surrender,andupwithyourhands!\"Youmighthavebeenbornandbredtothethief—catching。’

Oswaldissorryifitwasmean,buthecouldnotownupjustthenthathedidnotthinktherewasanyoneinthestudywhenhedidthatbraveifrashact。Hehastoldsince。

’Andwhatmadeyouthinktherewasanyoneinthehouse?’therobberasked,whenhehadthrownhisheadback,andlaughedforquitehalfaminute。Sowetoldhim。Andheapplaudedourvalour,andAliceandH。O。explainedthattheywouldhavesaid’Surrender,’too,onlytheywerereinforcements。

Therobberatesomeofthechestnuts—andwesatandwonderedwhenFatherwouldcomehome,andwhathewouldsaytousforourintrepidconduct。Andtherobbertoldusofallthethingshehaddonebeforehebegantobreakintohouses。Dickypickedupthetoolsfromthefloor,andsuddenlyhesaid—

’Why,thisisFather’sscrewdriverandhisgimlets,andall!Well,Idocallitjollycheektopickaman’slockswithhisowntools!’

’True,true,’saidtherobber。’Itischeek,ofthejolliest!ButyouseeI’vecomedownintheworld。Iwasahighwayrobberonce,buthorsesaresoexpensivetohire—fiveshillingsanhour,youknow—andIcouldn’taffordtokeepthem。Thehighwaymanbusinessisn’twhatitwas。’

’Whataboutabike?’saidH。O。

Buttherobberthoughtcycleswerelow—andbesidesyoucouldn’tgoacrosscountrywiththemwhenoccasionarose,asyoucouldwithatrustysteed。Andhetalkedofhighwaymenasifheknewjusthowwelikedhearingit。

Thenhetoldushowhehadbeenapiratecaptain—andhowhehadsailedoverwavesmountainshigh,andgainedrichprizes—andhowhedidbegintothinkthatherehehadfoundaprofessiontohismind。

’Idon’tsaytherearenoupsanddownsinit,’hesaid,’especiallyinstormyweather。Butwhatatrade!Andaswordatyourside,andtheJollyRogerflyingatthepeak,andaprizeinsight。Andalltheblackmouthsofyourgunspointedattheladentrader—andthewindinyourfavour,andyourtrustycrewreadytoliveanddieforyou!Oh—butit’sagrandlife!’

Ididfeelsosorryforhim。Heusedsuchnicewords,andhehadagentleman’svoice。

’I’msureyouweren’tbroughtuptobeapirate,’saidDora。Shehaddressedeventohercollar—andmadeNoeldoittoo—buttherestofuswereinblanketswithjustafewoddthingsputonanyhowunderneath。

Therobberfrownedandsighed。

’No,’hesaid,’Iwasbroughtuptothelaw。IwasatBalliol,blessyourhearts,andthat’strueanyway。’Hesighedagain,andlookedhardatthefire。

’ThatwasmyFather’scollege,’H。O。wasbeginning,butDickysaid—’Whydidyouleaveoffbeingapirate?’

’Apirate?’hesaid,asifhehadnotbeenthinkingofsuchthings。

’Oh,yes;whyIgaveitupbecause—becauseIcouldnotgetoverthedreadfulsea—sickness。’

’Nelsonwassea—sick,’saidOswald。

’Ah,’saidtherobber;’butIhadn’thisluckorhispluck,orsomething。HestucktoitandwonTrafalgar,didn’the?\"Kissme,Hardy\"—andallthat,eh?Icouldn’tsticktoit—Ihadtoresign。Andnobodykissedme。’

IsawbyhisunderstandingaboutNelsonthathewasreallyamanwhohadbeentoagoodschoolaswellastoBalliol。

Thenweaskedhim,’Andwhatdidyoudothen?’

AndAliceaskedifhewaseveracoiner,andwetoldhimhowwehadthoughtwe’dcaughtthedesperategangnextdoor,andhewasverymuchinterestedandsaidhewasgladhehadnevertakentocoining。

’Besides,thecoinsaresouglynowadays,’hesaid,’noonecouldreallyfindanypleasureinmakingthem。Andit’sahole—and—cornerbusinessatthebest,isn’tit?—anditmustbeaverythirstyone—withthehotmetalandfurnacesandthings。’

Andagainhelookedatthefire。

Oswaldforgotforaminutethattheinterestingstrangerwasarobber,andaskedhimifhewouldn’thaveadrink。OswaldhasheardFatherdothistohisfriends,soheknowsitistherightthing。Therobbersaidhedidn’tmindifhedid。Andthatisright,too。

AndDorawentandgotabottleofFather’sale—theLightSparklingFamily—andaglass,andwegaveittotherobber。Dorasaidshewouldberesponsible。

Thenwhenhehadhadadrinkhetoldusaboutbandits,buthesaiditwassobadinwetweather。Bandits’caveswerehardlyeverproperlyweathertight。Andbush—rangingwasthesame。

’Asamatteroffact,’hesaid,’Iwasbush—rangingthisafternoon,amongthefurze—bushesontheHeath,butIhadnoluck。IstoppedtheLordMayorinhisgiltcoach,withallhisfootmeninplushandgoldlace,smartascockatoos。Butitwasnogo。TheLordMayorhadn’tastiverinhispockets。Oneofthefootmenhadsixnewpennies:theLordMayoralwayspayshisservants’wagesinnewpennies。Ispentfourpenceofthatinbreadandcheese,thatonthetable’sthetuppence。Ah,it’sapoortrade!’Andthenhefilledhispipeagain。

Wehadturnedoutthegas,sothatFathershouldhaveajollygoodsurprisewhenhedidcomehome,andwesatandtalkedaspleasantascouldbe。IneverlikedanewmanbetterthanIlikedthatrobber。AndIfeltsosorryforhim。Hetoldushehadbeenawar—correspondentandaneditor,inhappierdays,aswellasahorse—stealerandacolonelofdragoons。

Andquitesuddenly,justasweweretellinghimaboutLordTottenhamandourbeinghighwaymenourselves,heputuphishandandsaid’Shish!’andwewerequietandlistened。

Therewasascrape,scrape,scrapingnoise;itcamefromdownstairs。