\"Someofthepapershavedonegoodworkinthatline。There’stheMorningMars，forinstance。Itwarmeduptwoorthreetrails，andgotthemanafterthepolicehadlet’emgetcold。\"
\"I’llshowyou，\"saidTiernan，rising，andexpand—
inghischest。\"I’llshowyouwhatIthinkofnews—
papersingeneral，andyourMorningMarsinpar—
ticular。\"
Threefeetfromtheirtablewasthetelephonebooth。Kernanwentinsideandsatattheinstrument，leavingthedooropen。Hefoundanumberinthebook，tookdownthereceiverandmadehisdemanduponCentral。Woodssatstill，lookingatthesneer—
ing，cold，vigilantfacewaitingclosetothetrans—
mitter，andlistenedtothewordsthatcamefromthethin，truculentlipscurvedintoacontemptuoussmile。
\"ThattheMorningMars？……Iwanttospeaktothemanagingeditor……Why，tellhimit’ssomeonewhowantstotalktohimabouttheNorcrossmurder。
\"Youtheeditor？……Allright……I
amthemanwhokilledoldNorcross……Wait！
Holdthewire;I’mnottheusualcrank……oh，thereisn’ttheslightestdanger。I’vejustbeendis—
cussingitwithadetectivefriendofmine。Ikilledtheoldmanat2：30A。M。twoweeksagoto—
morrow……Haveadrinkwithyou？Now，hadn’tyoubetterleavethatkindoftalktoyourfunnyman？Can’tyoutellwhetheraman’sguyingyouorwhetheryou’rebeingofferedthebiggestscoopyourdulldishragofapapereverhad？……
Well，that’sso;it’sabobtailscoop——butyoucanhardlyexpectmeto’phoneinmynameandaddress……Why？Oh，becauseIbeardyoumakeaspecialtyofsolvingmysteriouscrimesthatstumpthepolice……No，that’snotall。Iwanttotellyouthatyourrotten，lying，pennysheetisofnomoreuseintrackinganintelligentmurdererorhighway—
manthanablindpoodlewouldbe……What？……Oh，no，thisisn’tarivalnewspaperoffice;
you’regettingitstraight。IdidtheNorcrossjob，andI’vegotthejewelsinmysuitcaseat——’thenameofthehotelcouldnotbelearned’——yourecog—
nizethatphrase，don’tyou？Ithoughtso。You’veuseditoftenenough。Kindofrattlesyou，doesn’tit，tohavethemysteriousvillaincallupyourgreat，big，all—powerfulorganofrightandjusticeandgoodgovernmentandtellyouwhatahelplessoldgas—bagyouare？……Cutthatout;you’renotthatbigafool——no，youdon’tthinkI’mafraud。Icantellitbyyourvoice……Now，listen，andI’llgiveyouapointerthatwillproveittoyou。Ofcourseyou’vehadthismurdercaseworkedoverbyyourstaffofbrightyoungblockheads。Halfofthesecondbut—
tononoldMrs。Norcross’snightgownisbrokenoff。
IsawitwhenItookthegarnetringoffherfinger。
Ithoughtitwasaruby……——Stopthat！itwon’twork。\"
KernanturnedtoWoodswithadiabolicsmile。
\"I’vegothimgoing。Hebelievesmenow。Hedidn’tquitecoverthetransmitterwithhishandwhenhetoldsomebodytocallupCentralonanother’phoneandgetournumber。I’llgivehimjustonemoredig，andthenwe’llmakea’get—away。’
\"Hello！……Yes。I’mhereyet。Youdidn’tthink——I’drunfromsuchalittlesubsidized，turn—
coatragofanewspaper，didyou？……Havemeinsideofforty—eighthours？Say，willyouquitbeingfunny？Now，youletgrownmenaloneandat—
tendtoyourbusinessofhuntingupdivorcecasesandstreet—caraccidentsandprintingthefilthandscandalthatyoumakeyourlivingby。Good—by，oldboy——sorryIhaven’ttimetocallonyou。I’dfeelperfectlysafeinyoursanctumasinorum。Tra—la！\"
\"He’sasmadasacatthat’slostamouse，\"saidKernan，hangingupthereceiverandcomingout。
\"Andnow，Barney，myboy，we’llgotoashowandenjoyourselvesuntilareasonablebedtime。Fourhours’sleepforme，andthenthewest—bound。\"
ThetwodinedinaBroadwayrestaurant。Kernanwaspleasedwithhimself。Hespentmoneylikeaprinceoffiction。Andthenaweirdandgorgeousmusicalcomedyengagedtheirattention。Afterwardtherewasalatesupperinagrillroom，withchampagne，andKernanattheheightofhiscom—
placency。
Half—pastthreeinthemorningfoundtheminacornerofanall—nightcafe，Kernanstillboastinginavapidandramblingway，Woodsthinkingmoodilyovertheendthathadcometohisusefulnessasanupholderofthelaw。
But，ashepondered，hiseyebrightenedwithaspeculativelight。
\"Iwonderifit’spossible，\"besaidtohimself，\"I
won—derifit’spos—si—ble！
Andthenoutsidethecafethecomparativestillnessoftheearlymorningwaspuncturedbyfaint，uncer—
taincriesthatseemedmerefirefliesofsound，somegrowinglouder，somefainter，waxingandwaningamidtherumbleofmilkwagonsandinfrequentcars。
Shrillcriestheywerewhennear——well—knowncriesthatconveyedmanymeaningstotheearsofthoseoftheslumberingmillionsofthegreatcitywhowakedtohearthem。Criesthatboreupontheirsignificant，smallvolumetheweightofaworld’swoeandlaugh—
teranddelightandstress。Tosome，coweringbe—
neaththeprotectionofanight’sephemeralcover，theybroughtnewsofthehideous，brightday;toothers，wrappedinhappysleep，theyannouncedamorningthatwoulddawnblackerthansablenight。
Tomanyoftherichtheybroughtabesomtosweepawaywhathadbeentheirswhilethestarsshone;tothepoortheybrought——anotherday。
Alloverthecitythecrieswerestartingup，keenandsonorous，heraldingthechancesthattheslip—
pingofonecogwheelinthemachineryoftimehadmade;apportioningtothesleeperswhiletheylayatthemercyoffate，thevengeance，profit，grief，rewardanddoomthatthenewfigureinthecalen—
darhadbroughtthem。Shrillandyetplaintivewerethecries，asiftheyoungvoicesgrievedthatsomuchevilandsolittlegoodwasintheirirresponsiblehands。Thusechoedinthestreetsofthehelplesscitythetransmissionofthelatestdecreesofthegods，thecriesofthenewsboys——theClarionCallofthePress。
Woodsflippedadimetothewaiter，andsaid：
\"GetmeaMorningMars。\"
Whenthepapercameheglancedatitsfirstpage，andthentorealeafoutofhismemorandumbookandbegantowriteonitwiththelittleoldpencil。
\"What’sthenews？\"’yawnedKernan。
Woodsflippedovertohimthepieceofwriting：
\"TheNewYorkMorningMars：
\"PleasepaytotheorderofJohnKernantheonethousanddollarsrewardcomingtomeforhisarrestandconviction。
\"BARNARDWOODS。\"
\"Ikindofthoughttheywoulddothat，\"saidWoods，\"whenyouwerejollyingthemsohard。Now，Johnny，you’llcometothepolicestationwithme。\"
EXTRADITEDFROMBOHEMIA
FromnearthevillageofHarmony，atthefootoftheGreenMountains，cameMissMedoraMartintoNewYorkwithhercolor—boxandeasel。
MissMedoraresembledtherosewhichtheautum—
nalfrostshadsparedthelongestofallhersisterblossoms。InHarmony，whenshestartedalonetothewickedcitytostudyart，theysaidshewasamad，reckless，headstronggirl。InNewYork，whenshefirsttookherseatataWestSideboardinghousetable，theboardersasked：\"Whoisthenice—lookingoldmaid？\"
Medoratookheart，acheaphallbedroomandtwoartlessonsaweekfromProfessorAngelini，aretiredbarberwhohadstudiedhisprofessioninaHarlemdancingacademy。Therewasnoonetosetherright，forhereinthebigcitytheydoituntoallofus。
Howmanyofusarebadlyshaveddailyandtaughtthetwo—stepimperfectlybyex—pupilsofBastienLePageandGerome？ThemostpatheticsightinNewYork——exceptthemannersoftherush—hourcrowds——isthedrearymarchofthehopelessarmyofMe—
diocrity。HereArtisnobenignantgoddess，butaCircewhoturnsherwooersintomewingTomsandTabbieswholingeraboutthedoorstepsofherabode，unmindfuloftheflyingbrickbatsandboot—jacksofthecritics。Someofuscreepbacktoournativevil—
lagestotheskim—milkof\"Itoldyouso\";butmostofusprefertoremaininthecoldcourtyardofourmistress’stemple，snatchingthescrapsthatfallfromherdivinetabled’hote。Butsomeofusgrowwearyatlastofthefruitlessservice。Andthentherearetwofatesopentous。Wecangetajobdrivingagrocer’swagon，orwecangetswallowedupintheVortexofBohemia。Thelattersoundsgood;buttheformerreallypansoutbetter。For，whenthegrocerpaysusoffwecanrentadresssuitand——thecap—
italizedsystemofhumordescribesitbest——GetBo—
hemiaOntheRun。
MissMedorachosetheVortexandtherebyfur—
nishesuswithourlittlestory。
ProfessorAngelinipraisedhersketchesexcessively。
Oncewhenshehadmadeaneatstudyofahorse—
chestnuttreeintheparkhedeclaredshewouldbe—
comeasecondRosaBonheur。Again——agreatart—
isthashismoods——hewouldsaycruelandcuttingthings。Forexample，Medorahadspentanafter—
noonpatientlysketchingthestatueandthearchi—
tectureatColumbusCircle。Tossingitasidewithasneer，theprofessorinformedherthatGiottohadoncedrawnaperfectcirclewithonesweepofhishand。
Onedayitrained，theweeklyremittancefromHar—
monywasoverdue，Medorahadaheadache，thepro—
fessorhadtriedtoborrowtwodollarsfromher，herartdealerhadsentbackallherwater—colorsunsold，and——Mr。Binkleyaskedherouttodinner。
Mr。Binkleywasthegayboyoftheboarding—
house。Hewasforty—nine，andownedafishstallinadowntownmarket。Butaftersixo’clockheworeaneveningsuitandwhoopedthingsupconnectedwiththebeauxarts。Theyoungmensaidhewasan\"Indian。\"HewassupposedtobeanaccomplishedhabitueoftheinnercirclesofBohemia。Itwasnosecretthathehadonceloaned$10toayoungmanwhohadhadadrawingprintedinPuck。Oftenhasonethusobtainedhisentreeintothecharmedcircle，whiletheotherobtainedbothhisentreeandroast。
TheotherboardersenviouslyregardedMedoraassheleftatMr。Binkley’ssideatnineo’clock。Shewasassweetasaclusterofdriedautumngrassesinherpaleblue——oh——er——thatverythinstuff——inherpaleblueComstockizedsilkwaistandbox—
pleatedvoileskirt，withasoftpinkglowonherthincheeksandthetiniestbitofrougepowderonherface，withherhandkerchiefandroomkeyinherbrownwalrus，pebble—grainband—bag。
AndMr。Binkleylookedimposinganddashingwithhisredfaceandgraymustache，andhistightdresscoat，thatmadethebackofhisneckrollupjustlikeasuccessfulnovelist’s。
TheydroveinacabtotheCafeTerence，justoffthemostglitteringpartofBroadway，which，aseveryoneknows，isoneofthemostpopularandwidelypatronized，jealouslyexclusiveBohemianre—
sortsinthecity。
DownbetweentherowsoflittletablestrippedMedora，oftheGreenMountains，afterherescort。
Thriceinalifetimemaywomanwalkuponcloudsoncewhenshetrippethtothealtar，oncewhenshefirstentersBohemianhalls，thelastwhenshemarchesbackacrossherfirstgardenwiththedeadhenofherneighborinherband。
Therewasatableset，withthreeorfouraboutit。
Awaiterbuzzedarounditlikeabee，andsilverandglassshoneuponit。And，preliminarytothemeal，astheprehistoricgranitestrataheraldedthepro—
tozoa，thebreadofGaul，compoundedafterthefor—
mulaoftherecipefortheeternalbills，wastheresetforthtothehandandtoothofalong—sufferingcity，whilethegodslaybesidetheirnectarandhome—madebiscuitsandsmiled，andthedentistsleapedforjoyintheirgold—leafydens。
TheeyeofBinkleyfixedayoungmanathistablewiththeBobemiangleam，whichisacompoundofthelookoftheBasilisk，theshineofabubbleofWurzburger，theinspirationofgeniusandtheplead—
ingofapanhandler。
Theyoungmansprangtohisfeet。\"Hello，Bink，oldboy！beshouted。\"Don’ttellmeyouwerego—
ingtopassourtable。Joinus——unlessyou’vean—
othercrowdonhand。\"
\"Don’tmind，oldchap，\"saidBinkley，ofthefish—
stall。\"YouknowhowIliketobuttupagainstthefinearts。Mr。Vandyke——Mr。Madder——er——
MissMartin，oneoftheelectalsoinart——er——\"
Theintroductionwentaround。TherewerealsoMissEliseandMiss’Toinette。Perhapstheyweremodels，fortheychatteredoftheSt。Regisdecora—
tionsandHenryJames——andtheydiditnotbadly。
Medorasatintransport。Music——wild，intoxi—
eatingmusicmadebytroubadoursdirectfromarearbasementroominElysium——setherthoughtstodancing。Herewasaworldneverbeforepenetratedbyherwarmestimaginationoranyofthelinescon—
trolledbyHarriman。WiththeGreenMountains’
externalcalmuponhershesat，hersoulflaminginherwiththefireofAndalusia。ThetableswerefilledwithBohemia。Theroomwasfullofthefragranceofflowers——bothmilleandcauli。Questionsandcorkspopped;laughterandsilverrang;champagneflashedinthepail，witflashedinthepan。
Vandykeruffledhislong，blacklocks，disarrangedhiscarelesstieandleanedovertoMadder。
\"Say，Maddy，\"hewhispered，feelingly，\"some—
timesI’mtemptedtopaythisPhilistinehistendol—
larsandgetridofhim。\"
Madderruffledhislong，sandylocksanddisar—
rangedhiscarelesstie。
\"Don’tthinkofit，Vandy，\"hereplied。\"Weareshort，andArtislong。\"
Medoraatestrangeviandsanddrankelderberrywinethattheypouredinherglass。ItwasjustthecolorofthatintheVermonthome。Thewaiterpouredsomethinginanotherglassthatseemedtobeboiling，butwhenshetastedititwasnothot。
Shehadneverfeltsolight—heartedbefore。ShethoughtlovinglyoftheGreenMountainfarmanditsfauna。Sheleaned，smiling，toMissElise。
\"IfIwereathome，\"shesaid，beamingly，\"I
couldshowyouthecutestlittlecalf！\"
\"NothingforyouintheWhiteLane，\"saidMissElise。\"Whydon’tyoupad？
TheorchestraplayedawailingwaltzthatMedorahadlearnedfromthehand—organs。Shefollowedtheairwithnoddingheadinasweetsopranohum。
Madderlookedacrossthetableather，andwonderedinwhatstrangewatersBinkleyhadcaughtherinhisseine。Shesmiledathim，andtheyraisedglassesanddrankofthewinethatboiledwhenitwascold。
Binkleyhadabandonedartandwaspratingoftheunusualspringcatchofshad。MissElisearrangedthepalette—and—maul—sticktiepinofMr。Vandyke。
APhilistineatsomedistanttablewasmaunderingvolublyeitheraboutJeromeorGerome。Afamousactresswasdiscoursingexcitablyaboutmonogrammedhosiery。Ahoseclerkfromadepartmentstorewasloudlyproclaiminghisopinionsofthedrama。A
writerwasabusingDickens。Amagazineeditorandaphotographerweredrinkingadrybrandatare—
servedtable。A36—25—42youngladywassayingtoaneminentsculptor：\"FudgeforyourPraxItalys！
BringoneofyourVenusAnnoDominisdowntoCohen’sandseebowquickshe’dbeturneddownforacloakmodel。BacktothequarrieswithyourGreeksandDagos！\"
ThuswentBohemia。
AtelevenMr。BinkleytookMedoratotheboard—
ing—bouseandlefther，withasocietybow，atthefootofthehallstairs。Shewentuptoherroomandlitthegas。
Andthen，assuddenlyasthedreadfulgeniearoseinvaporfromthecoppervaseofthefisherman，aroseinthatroomtheformidableshapeoftheNewEnglandConscience。TheterriblethingthatMedorahaddonewasrevealedtoherinitsfullenormity。Shehadsatinthepresenceoftheun—
godlyandlookeduponthewinebothwhenitwasredandeffervescent。
Atmidnightshewrotethisletter：
\"Mr。BERLAHHOSKINS，Harmony，Vermont。
\"DearSir：Henceforth，considermeasdeadtoyouforever。Ihavelovedyoutoowelltoblightyourcareerbybringingintoitmyguiltyandsin—stainedlife。IhavesuccumbedtotheinsidiouswilesofthiswickedworldandhavebeendrawnintothevortexofBohemia。ThereisscarcelyanydepthofglitteringiniquitythatIhavenotsounded。Itishopelesstocombatmydecision。ThereisnorisingfromthedepthstowhichIhavesunk。Endeavortoforgetme。IamlostforeverinthefairbutbrutalmazeofawfulBohemia。Farewell。
\"ONCEYOURMEDORA。\"
OnthenextdayMedoraformedherresolutions。
Beelzebub，flungfromheaven，wasnomorecastdown。
BetweenherandtheappleblossomsofHarmonytherewasafixedgulf。Flamingcherubimwardedherfromthegatesofherlostparadise。Inoneevening，bytheaidofBinkleyandMumm，Bohemiahadgatheredherintoitsawfulmidst。
Thereremainedtoherbutonething——alifeofbrilliant，butirremediableerror。Vermontwasashrinethatsheneverwoulddaretoapproachagain。
Butshewouldnotsink——thereweregreatandcom—
pellingonesinhistoryuponwhomshewouldmodelhermeteoriccareer——Camille，LolaMontez，RoyalMary，Zaza——suchanameasoneofthesewouldthatofMedoraMartinbetofuturegenerationsFortwodaysMedorakeptherroom。OnthethirdsheopenedamagazineattheportraitoftheKingofBelgium，andlaughedsardonically。Ifthatfar—famedbreakerofwomen’sheartsshouldcrossherpath，hewouldhavetobowbeforehercoldandim—
periousbeauty。Shewouldnotsparetheoldortheyoung。AllAmerica——allEuropeshoulddohomagetohersinister，butcompellingcharm。
Asyetshecouldnotbeartothinkofthelifeshehadoncedesired——apeacefuloneintheshadowoftheGreenMountainswithBeriahatherside，andordersforexpensiveoilpaintingscominginbyeachmailfromNewYork。Heronefatalmisstephadshatteredthatdream。
OnthefourthdayMedorapowderedherfaceandrougedherlips。OnceshehadseenCarterin\"Zaza。\"Shestoodbeforethemirrorinarecklessattitudeandcried：\"Zut！zut！\"Sherhymeditwith\"nut，\"butwiththelawlesswordHarmonyseemedtopassawayforever。TheVortexhadher。
ShebelongedtoBohemiaforevermore。AndneverwouldBeriah——
ThedooropenedandBeriahwalkedin。
\"’Dory，\"saidhe，\"what’sallthatchalkandpinkstuffonyourface，honey？
Medoraextendedanarm。
\"Toolate，\"shesaid，solemnly。Thedieiscast。
Ibelonginanotherworld。Cursemeifyouwill——
itisyourright。Go，andleavemeinthepathI
havechosen。Bidthemallathomenevertomen—
tionmynameagain。Andsometimes，Beriah，prayformewhenIamrevellinginthegaudy，buthol—
low，pleasuresofBohemia。\"
\"Getatowel，’Dory，\"saidBeriah，\"andwipethatpaintoffyourface。IcameassoonasIgotyourletter。Thempicturesofyoursain’tamount—
ingtoanything。I’vegotticketsforbothofusbackontheeveningtrain。Hurryandgetyourthingsinyourtrunk。\"
\"Fatewastoostrongforme，Beriah。GowhileIamstrongtobearit。\"
\"Howdoyoufoldthiseasel，’Dory？——nowbegintopack，sowehavetimetoeatbeforetraintime。
Themaplesisalloutinfull—grownleaves，’Dory——
youjustoughttosee’em！
\"Notthisearly，Beriah？
\"Yououghttosee’em，’Dory;they’relikeanoceanofgreeninthemorningsunlight。\"
\"Oh，Beriah！\"
Onthetrainshesaidtohimsuddenly：
\"Iwonderwhyyoucamewhenyougotmylet—
ter。\"
\"Oh，shucks！\"saidBeriah。\"Didyouthinkyoucouldfoolme？HowcouldyouberunawaytothatBohemiacountrylikeyousaidwhenyourletterwaspostmarkedNewYorkasplainasday？\"
APHILISTINEINBOHEMIA
GeorgeWashington，withhisrightarmup—
raised，sitshisironhorseatthelowercornerofUnionSquare，foreversignalingtheBroadwaycarstostopastheyroundthecurveintoFourteenthStreet。Butthecarsbuzzon，heedless，astheydoatthebeckofaprivatecitizen，andthegreatGeneralmustfeel，unlesshisnervesareiron，thatrapidtran—
sitgloriamundi。
ShouldtheGeneralraisehislefthandashehasraisedhisrightitwouldpointtoaquarterofthecitythatformsahavenfortheoppressedandsup—
pressedofforeignlands。Inthecauseofnationalorpersonalfreedomtheyhavefoundarefugehere，andthepatriotwhomadeitforthemsitshissteed，overlookingtheirdistrict，whilehelistensthroughhisleftcartovaudevillethatcaricaturestheposterityofhisproteges。Italy，Poland，theformerSpanishpossessionsandthepolyglottribesofAustria—Hun—
garyhavespilledhereathicklatheroftheireffer—
vescentsons。Intheeccentriccafesandlodging—
housesofthevicinitytheyhoverovertheirnativewinesandpoliticalsecrets。Thecolonychangeswithmuchfrequency。Facesdisappearfromthehauntstobereplacedbyothers。Whitherdotheseuneasybirdsflit？Forhalfoftheanswerobservecarefullythesuaveforeignairandforeigncourtesyofthenextwaiterwhoservesyourtabled’hote。
Fortheotherhalf，perhapsifthebarbershopshadtongues（andwhowilldisputeit？）theycouldtelltheirshare。
Titlesareasplentifulasfingerringsamongthesetransitoryexiles。ForlackofproperexploitationastockoftitledgoodslargeenoughtosupplythetradeofupperFifthAvenueisherecondemnedtoamerepushcarttraffic。Thenew—worldlandlordswhoen—
tertaintheseoffshootsofnobilityarenotdazzledbycoronetsandcrests。Theyhavedoughnutstosellinsteadofdaughters。Withthemitisaseriousmatteroftradinginflourandsugarinsteadofpearlpowderandbonbons。
Theseassertionsaredeemedfittingasanintro—
ductiontothetale，whichisofplebeiansandcontainsnoonewitheventheghostofatitle。
KatyDempsey’smotherkeptafurnished—roomhouseinthisoasisofthealiens。Thebusinesswasnotprofitable。Ifthetwoscrapedtogetherenoughtomeetthelandlord’sagentonrentdayandnego—
tiatefortheingredientsofadailyIrishstewtheycalleditsuccess。Oftenthestewlackedbothmeatandpotatoes。Sometimesitbecameasbadascon—
somme’withmusic。
InthismouldyoldhouseKatywaxedplumpandpertandwholesomeandasbeautifulandfreckledasatigerlily。ShewasthegoodfairywhowasguiltyofplacingthedampcleantowelsandcrackedpitchersoffreshlylaunderedCrotoninthelodgers’rooms。
Youareinformed（byvirtueoftheprivilegesofastronomicaldiscovery）thatthestarlodger’snamewasMr。Brunelli。Hiswearingayellowtieandpay—
inghisrentpromptlydistinguishedhimfromtheotherlodgers。Hisraimentwassplendid，hiscom—
plexionolive，his，mustachefierce，hismannersaprince’s，hisringsandpinsasmagnificentasthoseofatravelingdentist。
Hehadbreakfastservedinhisroom，andheateitinareddressinggownwithgreentassels。Heleftthehouseatnoonandreturnedatmidnight。Thoseweremysterioushours，buttherewasnothingmy—
teriousaboutMrs。Dempsey’slodgersexceptthethingsthatwerenotmysterious。OneofMr。Kip—
ling’spoemsisaddressedto\"Yewhoholdtheun—
writtencluetoallsaveallunwrittenthing。\"Thesame\"readers\"areinvitedtotackletheforegoingassertion。
Mr。Brunelli，beingimpressionableandaLatin，felltoconjugatingtheverb\"amare，\"withKatyintheobjectivecase，thoughnotbecauseofantipathy。
Shetalkeditoverwithhermother。
\"Sure，Ilikehim，\"saidKaty。\"He’smorepo—
litenessthantwintycandidatesforAlderman，andliemakesmefeellikeaqueenwhinhewalksatmeside。
Butwhatishe，Idinno？I’vemesuspicions。Themarnin’llcoomwhinhe’llthrotoutthepictureavhisbaronialhallsandaxtohavetheweek’srinthungupintheicechistalongwidalltheristof’em。\"
\"’Tistrue，\"admittedMrs。Dempsey，\"thatheseemstobeasortivaDago，andtoocoolchuredinhisspacheforaralegentleman。Butyemaybemis—
judgin’him。Yeshouldniversuspectanywanofbein’ofnobledescintthatpayscashandpathronizesthelaundryrig’lar。\"
\"He’sthesametbricksofspakin’andblarneyin’
widhishands，\"sighedKaty，\"astheFrinchnoble—
manatMrs。Toole’sthatranawaywidMr。Toole’sSundaypantsandleftthephotographoftheBastile，hisgrandfather’schat—taw，assecurityfortinweeks’
rint。\"
Mr。Brunellicontinuedhiscalorificwooing。Katycontinuedtohesitate。Onedayheaskedherouttodineandshefeltthatadenouementwasintheair。
Whiletheyareontheirway，withKatyinherbestmuslin，youmusttakeasanentr’acteabriefpeepatNewYork’sBohemia。
’Tonio’srestaurantisinBohemia。Theverylo—
cationofitissecret。Ifyouwishtoknowwhereitisaskthefirstpersonyoumeet。Hewilltellyouinawhisper。’Toniodiscountenancescustom;hekeepshishouse—frontblackandforbidding;hegivesyouaprettybaddinner;helockshisdooratthedininghour;butheknowsspaghettiastheboarding—houseknowscoldveal;and——hehasdepositedmanydol—
larsinacertainBancodi——somethingwithmanygoldvowelsinthenameonitswindows。
TothisrestaurantMr。BrunelliconductedKaty。
Thehousewasdarkandtheshadeswerelowered;butMr。Brunellitouchedanelectricbuttonbythebase—
mentdoor，andtheywereadmitted。
Alongalong，dark，narrowhallwaytheywentandthenthroughashiningandspotlesskitchenthatopeneddirectlyuponabackyard。
Thewallsofhouseshemmedthreesidesoftheyard;ahigh，boardfence，surroundedbycats，theother。Awashofclotheswassuspendedhighuponalinestretchedfromdiagonalcorners。Thosewerepropertyclothes，andwerenevertakeninby’Tonio。
Theyweretherethatwitswithdefectivepronuncia—
tionmightmakepunsinconnectionwiththeragout。
AdozenandahalflittletablessetuponthebaregroundwerecrowdedwithBohemia—hunters，whoflockedtherebecause’Toniopretendednottowantthemandpretendedtogivethemagooddinner。
TherewasasprinklingofrealBohemianspresentwhocameforachangebecausetheyweretiredoftherealBohemia，andasmartshowerofthemenwhooriginatethebrightsayingsofCongressmenandthelittlenephewofthewell—knowngeneralpassen—
geragentoftheEvansvilleandTerreHauteRail—
roadCompany。
Hereisabonmotthatwasmanufacturedat’Tonio’s：
\"Adinnerat’Tonio’s，\"saidaBohemian，\"alwaysamountstotwicethepricethatisaskedforit。\"
Letusassumethatanaccommodatingvoicein—
quires：
\"Howso？\"
\"Thedinnercostsyou40cents;yougive10centstothewaiter，anditmakesyoufeellike30cents。\"
Mostofthedinerswereconfirmedtabled’hoters——
gastronomicadventuress，foreverseekingtheElDo—
radoofagoodclaret，andconsistentlycomingtogriefinCalifornia。
Mr。BrunelliescortedKatytoalittletableem—
boweredwithshrubberyintubs，andaskedhertoexcusehimforawhile。
Katysat，enchantedbyascenesobrillianttoher。
Thegrandladies，insplendiddressesandplumesandsparklingrings;thefinegentlemenwholaughedsoloudly，thecriesof\"Garsong！\"and\"We，mon—
seer，\"and\"Hello，Mame！\"thatdistinguishBo—
hemia;thelivelychatter，thecigarettesmoke，theinterchangeofbrightsmilesandeye—glances——allthisdisplayandmagnificenceoverpoweredthedaugh—
terofMrs。Dempseyandheldhermotionless。
Mr。Brunellisteppedintotheyardandseemedtospreadhissmileandbowovertheentirecompany。
Andeverywheretherewasagreatclappingofbandsandafewcriesof\"Bravo！\"and\"’Tonio！’Tonio！\"
whateverthosewordsmightmean。Ladieswavedtheirnapkinsathim，gentlemenalmosttwistedtheirnecksoff，tryingtocatchhisnod。
WhentheovationwasconcludedMr。Brunelli，withafinalbow，steppednimblyintothekitchenandflungoffhiscoatandwaistcoat。
\"Flaherty，thenimblest\"garsong\"amongthewaiters，hadbeenassignedtothespecialserviceofKaty。Shewasalittlefaintfromhunger，fortheIrishstewontheDempseytablehadbeenparticu—
larlyweakthatday。Deliciousodorsfromunknowndishestantalizedher。AndFlahertybegantobringtohertablecourseaftercourseofambrosialfoodthatthegodsmighthavepronouncedexcellent。
ButeveninthemidstofherLucullianrepastKatylaiddownherknifeandfork。Herheartsankaslead，andatearfelluponherfiletmignon。Herhauntingsuspicionsofthestarlodgeraroseagain，fourfold。Thuscourtedandadmiredandsmileduponbythatfashionableandgraciousassembly，whatelsecouldMr。Brunellibebutoneofthosedazzlingtitledpatricians，gloriousofnamebutshyofrentmoney，concerningwhomexperiencehadmadeherwise？Withasenseofhisineligibilitygrowingwithinhertherewasmingledatorturingconvictionthathispersonalitywasbecomingmorepleasingtoherdaybyday。Andwhyhadhelefthertodinealone？
Butherehewascomingagain，nowcoatless，hissnowyshirt—sleevesrolledhighabovehisJeffries—
onianelbows，awhiteyachtingcappercheduponhisjettycurls。
\"’Tonio！’Tonio！\"shoutedmany，and\"Thespaghetti！Thespaghetti！\"shoutedtherest。
Neverat’Tonio’sdidawaiterdaretoserveadishofspaghettiuntil’Toniocametotestit，toprovethesauceandaddtheneedfuldashofseasoningthatgaveitperfection。
Fromtabletotablemoved’Tonio，likeaprinceinhispalace，greetinghisguests。White，jewelledbandssignalledhimfromeveryside。
Aglassofwinewiththisoneandthat，smilesforall，ajestandreparteeforanythatmightchallenge——trulyfewprincescouldbesoagreeableahost！
Andwhatartistcouldaskforfurtherappreciationofhishandiwork？KatydidnotknowthattheproudestconsummationofaNewYorker’sambitionistoshakebandswithaspaghettichefortoreceiveanodfromaBroadwayhead—waiter。
Atlastthecompanythinned，leaving’butafewcouplesandquartetteslingeringovernewwineandoldstories。AndthencameMr。BrunellitoKaty’ssecludedtable，anddrewachairclosetohers。
Katysmiledathimdreamily。ShewaseatingthelastspoonfulofaraspberryrollwithBurgundysauce。
\"Youhaveseen！\"saidMr。Brunelli，layingonehanduponhiscollarbone。\"IamAntonioBrunelli！
Yes;Iamthegreat’Tonio！Youhavenotsuspectthat！Iloaveyou，Katy，andyoushallmarrywithme。Isitnotso？Callme’Antonio，’andsaythatyouwillbemine。\"
Katy’sheaddroopedtotheshoulderthatwasnowfreedfromallsuspicionofhavingreceivedtheknightlyaccolade。
\"Oh，Andy，\"shesighed，\"thisisgreat！Sure，I’llmarrywidye。Butwhydidn’tyetellmeyewasthecook？Iwasnearturnin’yedownforbein’oneofthimforeigncounts！\"
FROMEACHACCORDINGTOHISABILITY
Vuyninglefthisclub，cursingitsoftly，withoutanyparticularanger。Fromteninthemorningun—
tilelevenithadboredhimimmeasurably。Kirkwithhisfishstory，BrookswithhisPortoRicocigars，oldMorrisonwithhisanecdoteaboutthewidow，Hep—
burnwithhisinvariableluckatbilliards——alltheseafflictionshadbeenrepeatedwithoutchangeofbillorscenery。BesidesthesemorningevilsMissAllisonhadrefusedhimagainonthenightbefore。Butthatwasachronictrouble。FivetimesshehadlaughedathisoffertomakeherMrs。Vuyning。HeintendedtoaskheragainthenextWednesdayevening。
VuyningwalkedalongForty—fourthStreettoBroadway，andthendrifteddownthegreatsluicethatwashesoutthedustofthegold—minesofGotham。
Heworeamorningsuitoflightgray，low，dullkidshoes，aplain，finelywovenstrawhat，andhisvisiblelinenwasthemostdelicatepossibleshadeofbelio—
trope。Hisnecktiewastheblue—grayofaNovem—
bersky，anditsknotwasplainlytheoutcomeofalordlycarelessnesscombinedwithanaccuratecon—
ceptionofthemostrecentdictumoffashion。
Now，towriteofaman’shaberdasheryisaworsethingthantowriteahistoricalnovel\"around\"
PaulJones，ortopenatestimonialtoahay—fevercure。
Therefore，letitbeknownthatthedescriptionofVuyning’sapparelisgermanetothemovementsofthestory，andnottomakeroomforthenewfallstockofgoods。
EvenBroadwaythatmorningwasadiscordinVuyning’sears;andinhiseyesitparalleledforafewdreamy，drearyminutesacertainhowling，scorching，seething，malodoroussliceofstreetthatherememberedinMorocco。Hesawthestrugglingmassofdogs，beggars，fakirs，slave—driversandveiledwomenincartswithouthorses，thesunblazingbrightlyamongthebazaars，thepilesofrubbishfromruinedtemplesinthestreet—andthenalady，passing，jabbedtheferruleofaparasolinhissideandbroughthimbacktoBroadway。
Fiveminutesofhisstrollbroughthimtoacertaincorner，whereanumberofsilent，pale—facedmenareaccustomedtostand，immovably，forhours，busywiththefilebladesoftheirpenknives，withtheirhatbrimsonalevelwiththeireyelids。WallStreetspeculators，drivinghomeintheircarriages，lovetopointoutthesementotheirvisitingfriendsandtellthemofthisratherfamouslounging—placeofthe\"crooks。\"OnWallStreetthespeculatorsneverusethefilebladesoftheirknives。
Vuyningwasdelightedwhenoneofthiscompanysteppedforthandaddressedhimashewaspassing。
Hewashungryforsomethingoutoftheordinary，andtobeaccostedbythissmooth—faced，keen—eyed，low—voiced，athleticmemberoftheunderworld，withhisgrim，yetpleasantsmile，hadallthetasteofanadventuretotheconvention—wearyVuyning。
\"Excuseme，friend，\"saidbe。\"CouldIhaveafewminutes’talkwithyou——onthelevel？\"
\"Certainly，\"saidVuyning，withasmile。\"But，supposewestepasidetoaquieterplace。Thereisadivan——acafeoverherethatwilldo。Schrummwillgiveusaprivatecorner。\"
Schrummestablishedthemunderagrowingpalm，withtwoseidlsbetweenthem。Vuyningmadeapleasantreferencetometeorologicalconditions，thusformingabingeuponwhichmightbeswungthedoorleadingfromthethoughtrepositoryoftheother。
\"Inthefirstplace，\"saidhiscompanion，withtheairofonewhopresentshiscredentials，\"IwantyoutounderstandthatIamacrook。OutWestIamknownasRowdytheDude。Pickpocket，supperman，second—storyman，yeggman，boxman，all—roundbur—
glar，cardsharpandslickestconmanwestoftheTwenty—thirdStreetferrylanding——that’smyhis—
tory。That’stoshowI’monthesquare——withyou。
Myname’sEmerson。\"
\"ConfoundoldKirkwithhisfishstories\"saidVuyningtohimself，withsilentgleeashewentthroughhispocketsforacard。\"It’spronounced’Vining，’\"hesaid，ashetosseditovertotheother。
\"AndI’llbeasfrankwithyou。I’mjustakindofaloafer，Iguess，livingonmydaddy’smoney。Attheclubtheycallme’Left—at—the—Post。’Ineverdidaday’sworkinmylife;andIhaven’tthehearttorunoverachickenwhenI’mmotoring。It’saprettyshabbyrecord，altogether。\"
\"There’sonethingyoucando，\"saidEmerson，admiringly;\"youcancarryduds。I’vewatchedyouseveraltimespassonBroadway。YoulookthebestdressedmanI’veseen。AndI’llbetyouagoldmineI’vegot$50worthmoregent’sfurnishingsonmyframethanyouhave。That’swhatIwantedtoseeyouabout。Ican’tdothetrick。Takealookatme。What’swrong？\"
\"Standup，\"saidVuyning。
Emersonarose，andslowlyrevolved。
\"You’vebeen’outfitted，’\"declaredtheclubman。
\"SomeBroadwaywindow—dresserhasmisusedyou。\"
\"That’sanexpensivesuit，though，Emerson。\"
\"Ahundreddollars，\"saidEmerson。
\"Twentytoomuch，\"saidVuyning。\"Sixmonthsoldincut，oneinchtoolong，andhalfaninchto—
muchlapel。Yourhatisplainlydatedoneyearago，althoughthere’sonlyasixteenthofaninchlackinginthebrimtotellthestory。ThatEnglishpokeinyourcollaristooshortbythedistancebetweenTroyandLondon。Aplaingoldlinkcuff—buttonwouldtakealltheshineoutofthosepearloneswithdia—
mondsettings。ThosetanshoeswouldbeexactlythearticlestoworkintotheheartofaBrooklynschool—ma’amonatwoweeks’visittoLakeRonkon—
koma。IthinkIcaughtaglimpseofabluesilksockembroideredwithrussetliliesofthevalleywhenyou——improperly——drewupyourtrousersasyousatdown。Therearealwaysplainonestobehadinthestores。HaveIhurtyourfeelings，Emer—
son？\"
\"Doubletheante！\"criedthecriticisedone，greed—
ily。\"Givememoreofit。There’sawaytototethehaberdashery，andIwanttogetwisetoit。Say，you’retherightkindofaswell。Anythingelsetothequeeraboutme？\"
\"Yourtie，\"saidVuyning，\"istiedwithabsoluteprecisionandcorrectness。\"
\"Thanks，\"gratefully——\"IspentoverhalfanhouratitbeforeI——\"
\"Thereby，\"interruptedVuyning，\"completingyourresemblancetoadummyinaBroadwaystorewindow。\"
\"Yourstruly，\"saidEmerson，sittingdownagain。
\"It’sbullyofyoutoputmewise。Iknewtherewassomethingwrong，butIcouldn’tjustputmyfingeronit。Iguessitcomesbynaturetoknowhowtowearclothes。\"
\"Oh，Isuppose，\"saidVuyning，withalaugh，\"thatmyancestorspickeduptheknackwhiletheywerepeddlingclothesfromhousetohouseacoupleofhundredyearsago。I’mtoldtheydidthat。\"
\"Andmine，\"saidEmerson，cheerfully，\"weremakingtheirvisitsatnight，Iguess，anddidn’thaveachancetocatchontothecorrectstyles。\"
\"Itellyouwhat，\"saidVuyning，whoseennuihadtakenwings，\"I’lltakeyoutomytailor。He’lleliminatethemarkofthebeastfromyourexterior。
Thatis，ifyoucaretogoanyfurtherinthewayofexpense。\"
\"Play’emtotheceiling，\"saidEmerson，withaboyishsmileofjoy。\"I’vegotarollasbigaroundasabarrelofblack—eyedpeasandaslooseasthewrapperofatwo—for—fiver。Idon’tmindtellingyouthatIwasnottouringamongtheAntipodeswhentheburglar—proofsafeoftheFarmers’NationalBankofButterville，Ia。，flewopensomemoonlessnightsagotothetuneof$16，000。\"
\"Aren’tyouafraid，\"askedVuyning，\"thatI’llcallacopandhandyouover？\"
\"Youtellme，\"saidEmerson，coolly，\"whyI
didn’tkeepthem。\"
HelaidVuyning’spocketbookandwatch——theVuyning100—year—oldfamilywatchonthetable。
\"Man，\"saidVuyning，revelling，\"didyoueverhearthetaleKirktellsaboutthesix—poundtroutandtheoldfisherman？\"
\"Seemsnot，\"saidEmerson，politely。\"I’dliketo。\"
\"Butyouwon’t，\"saidVuyning。\"I’vehearditscoresoftimes。That’swhyIwon’ttellyou。Iwasjustthinkinghowmuchbetterthisisthanaclub。
Now，shallwegotomytailor？\"
\"Boys，andelderlygents，\"saidVuyning，fivedayslaterathisclub，standingupagainstthewindowwherehiscoteriewasgathered，andkeepingoutthebreeze，\"afriendofminefromtheWestwilldineatourtablethisevening。\"
\"WillheaskifwehaveheardthelatestfromDenver？\"saidamember，squirminginhischair。
\"Willhementionthenewtwenty—three—storyMa—
sonicTemple，inQuincy，Ill。？\"inquiredanother，droppinghisnose—glasses。
\"WillhespringoneofthoseWesternMississippiRivercatfishstories，inwhichtheyuseyearlingcalvesforbait？\"demandedKirk，fiercely。
\"Becomforted，\"saidVuyning。\"Hehasnoneofthelittlevices。Heisaburglarandsafe—blower，andapalofmine。\"
\"Oh，MaryAnn！\"saidthey。\"Mustyoualwaysadorneverystatementwithyourallegedhumor？\"
Itcametopassthatateightintheeveningacalm，smooth，brilliant，affablemansatatVuyning’srighthandduringdinner。AndwhentheoneswhopasstheirlivesincitystreetsspokeofskyscrapersorofthelittleCzaronhisfar，frozenthrone，orofinsig—
nificantfishfrominconsequentialstreams，thisbig，deep—chestedman，faultlesslyclothed，andeyedlikeanEmperor，disposedoftheirLilliputianchatterwithawinkofhiseyelash。
Andthenhepaintedforthemwithhard，broadstrokesamarvellouslingualpanoramaoftheWest。
Hestackedsnow—toppedmountainsonthetable，freezingthehotdishesofthewaitingdiners。Withawaveofhishandheswepttheclubhouseintoapine—crownedgorge，turningthewaitersintoagrimposse，andeachlistenerintoablood—stainedfugitive，climbingwithtornfingersupontheensanguinedrocks。Hetouchedthetableandspake，andthefivepantedastheygazedonbarrenlavabeds，andeachmantookhistonguebetweenhisteethandfelthismouthbakeatthetaleofalandemptyofwaterandfood。AssimplyasHomersang，whilehedugatineofhisforkleisurelyintothetablecloth，heopenedanewworldtotheirview，asdoesonewhotellsachildoftheLooking—GlassCountry。
AsoneofhislistenersmighthavespokenofteatoostrongataMadisonSquare\"afternoon，\"sohedepictedtheravagesofredeyeinabordertownwhenthecaballerosofthelariatand\"forty—five\"
reducedennuitoaminimum。
Andthen，withasweepofhiswhite，unringedhands，bedismissedMelpomene，andforthwithDianaandAmaryllisfooteditbeforethemind’seyesoftheclubmen。
Thesavannasofthecontinentspreadbeforethem。
Thewind，hummingthroughahundredleaguesofsagebrushandmesquite，closedtheirearstothecity’sstaccatonoises。Hetoldthemofcamps，ofranchesmaroonedinaseaoffragrantprairieblos—
soms，ofgallopsinthestillynightthatApollowouldhaveforsakenhisdaytimesteedstoenjoy;hereadthemthegreat，roughepicofthecattleandthehillsthathavenotbeenspoiledbythebandofman，themason。Hiswordswereatelescopetothecitymen，whoseeyeshadlookeduponYoungstown，O。，andwhosetongueshadcalledit\"West。\"
Infact，Emersonhadthem\"going。\"
ThenextmorningattenhemetVuyning，byap—
pointment，ataForty—secondStreetcafe。
EmersonwastoleavefortheWestthatday。HeworeasuitofdarkcheviotthatlookedtohavebeendrapeduponhimbyanancientGreciantailorwhowasafewthousandyearsaheadofthestyles。
\"Mr。Vuyning，\"saidhe，withtheclear，ingenuoussmileofthesuccessful\"crook，\"it’suptometogothelimitforyouanytimeIcandoso。You’retherealthing;andifIcaneverreturnthefavor，youbetyourlifeI’lldoit。\"
\"Whatwasthatcow—puncher’sname？\"askedVuyning，\"whousedtocatchamustangbythenoseandmane，andthrowhimtillheputthebridleon？\"
\"Bates，\"saidEmerson。
\"Thanks，\"saidVuyning。\"IthoughtitwasYates。Oh，aboutthattoggerybusiness——I’dfor—
gottenthat。\"
\"I’vebeenlookingforsomeguytoputmeontherighttrackforyears，\"saidEmerson。\"You’rethegoods，dutyfree，andhalf—waytothewarehouseinaredwagon。\"
\"Bacon，toastedonagreenwillowswitchoverredcoals，oughttoputbroiledlobstersoutofbusiness，\"
saidVuyning。\"Andyousayahorseattheendofathirty—footropecan’tpullaten—inchstakeoutofwetprairie？Well，good—bye，oldman，ifyoumustbeoff。\"
Atoneo’clockVuyninghadluncheonwithMissAllisonbypreviousarrangement。
Forthirtyminutesbebabbledtoher，unaccount—
ably，ofranches，horses，cations，cyclones，round—ups，RockyMountainsandbeansandbacon。Shelookedathimwithwonderingandhalf—terrifiedeyes。
\"Iwasgoingtoproposeagainto—day，\"saidVuy—
ning，cheerily，butIwon’t。I’veworriedyouoftenenough。YouknowdadhasaranchinColorado。
What’sthegoodofstayinghere？Jumpingjon—
quils！butit’sgreatoutthere。I’mgoingtostartnextTuesday。\"
\"No，youwon’t，\"saidMissAllison。
\"What？\"saidVuyning。
\"Notalone，\"saidMissAllison，droppingatearuponhersalad。\"Whatdoyouthink？\"
\"Betty！\"exclaimedVuyning，\"whatdoyoumean？
\"I’llgotoo，\"saidMissAllison，forcibly。
VuyningfilledherglasswithApollinaris。
\"Here’stoRowdytheDude！\"hegave——atoastmysterious。
\"Don’tknowhim，\"saidMissAllison;\"butifhe’syourfriend，Jimmy——heregoes！\"
THEMEMENTO
MissLynnetteD’ArmandeturnedherbackonBroadway。Thiswasbuttitfortat，be—
causeBroadwayhadoftendonethesamethingtoMissD’Armande。Still，the\"tats\"seemedtohaveit，fortheex—leadingladyofthe\"ReapingtheWhirlwind\"companyhadeverythingtoaskofBroadway，whiletherewasnovice—versa。
SoMissLynnetteD’ArmandeturnedthebackofherchairtoherwindowthatoverlookedBroadway，andsatdowntostitchintimethelisle—threadheelofablacksilkstocking。ThetumultandglitteroftheroaringBroadwaybeneathherwindowhadnocharmforher;whatshegreatlydesiredwasthestiflingairofadressing—roomonthatfairylandstreetandtheroarofanaudiencegatheredinthatcapriciousquarter。Inthemeantime，thosestock—
ingsmustnotbeneglected。Silkdoeswearoutso，but——afterall，isn’titjusttheonlygoodsthereis？
TheHotelThalialooksonBroadwayasMarathonlooksonthesea。Itstandslikeagloomycliffabovethewhirlpoolwherethetidesoftwogreatthorough—
faresclash。Heretheplayer—bandsgatherattheendoftheirwanderings，toloosenthebuskinanddustthesock。Thickinthestreetsarounditarebooking—
offices，theatres，agents，schools，andthelobster—pal—
acestowhichthosethornypathslead。
WanderingthroughtheeccentrichallsofthedimandfustyThalia，youseemtohavefoundyourselfinsomegreatarkorcaravanabouttosail，orfly，orrollawayonwheels。Aboutthehouselingersasenseofunrest，ofexpectation，oftransientness，evenofanxietyandapprehension。Thehallsarealabyrinth。
Withoutaguide，youwanderlikealostsoulinaSamLoydpuzzle。
Turninganycorner，adressing—sackoracul—de—sacmaybringyouupshort。Youmeetalarmingtragediansstalkinginbath—robesinsearchofru—
moredbathrooms。Fromhundredsofroomscomethebuzzoftalk，scrapsofnewandoldsongs，andthereadylaughteroftheconvenedplayers。
Summerhascome;theircompanieshavedisbanded，andtheytaketheirrestintheirfavoritecaravansary，whiletheybesiegethemanagersforengagementsforthecomingseason。
Atthishouroftheafternoontheday’sworkoftrampingtheroundsoftheagents’officesisover。
Pastyou，asyourambledistractedlythroughthemossyhalls，flitaudiblevisionsofhouris，withveiled，starryeyes，flyingtag—endsofthingsandaswishofsilk，bequeathingtothedullhallwaysanodorofgaietyandamemoryoffrangipanni。Seriousyoungcomedians，withversatileAdam’sapples，gatherindoorwaysandtalkofBooth。Far—reachingfromsomewherecomesthesmellofhamandredcabbage，andthecrashofdishesontheAmericanplan。
TheindeterminatehumoflifeintheThaliaisenlivenedbythediscreetpopping——atreasonableandsalubriousintervals——ofbeer—bottlecorks。
Thuspunctuated，lifeinthegenialhostelscanseasily——thecommabeingthefavoritemark，semicolonsfrownedupon，andperiodsbarred。
MissD’Armannde’sroomwasasmallone。Therewasroomforherrockerbetweenthedresserandthewash—standifitwereplacedlongitudinally。Onthedresserwereitsusualaccoutrements，plustheex—lead—
inglady’scollectedsouvenirsofroadengagementsandphotographsofherdearestandbestprofessionalfriends。
Atoneofthesephotographsshelookedtwiceorthriceasshedarned，andsmiledfriendlily。
\"I’dliketoknowwhereLeeisjustthisminute，\"
shesaid，half—aloud。
Ifyouhadbeenprivilegedtoviewthephotographthusflattered，youwouldhavethoughtatthefirstglancethatyousawthepictureofamany—petalledwhiteflower，blownthroughtheairbyastorm。Butthefloralkingdomwasnotresponsibleforthatswirlofpetalouswhiteness。
Yousawthefilmy，briefskirtofMissRosalieRayasshemadeacompleteheels—over—headturninherwistaria—entwinedswing，faroutfromthestage，highabovetheheadsoftheaudience。Yousawthecam—
era’sinadequaterepresentationofthegraceful，strongkick，withwhichshe，atthisexcitingmoment，sentflying，highandfar，theyellowsilkgarterthateacheveningspunfromheragilelimbanddescendeduponthedelightedaudiencebelow。
Yousaw，too，amidtheblack—clothed，mainlymas—
culinepatronsofselectvaudevilleahundredhandsraisedwiththehopeofstayingtheflightofthebril—
liantaerialtoken。
FortyweeksofthebestcircuitsthisacthadbroughtMissRosalieRay，foreachoftwoyears。
Shedidotherthingsduringhertwelveminutes——asonganddance，imitationsoftwoorthreeactorswhoarebutimitationsofthemselves，andabalancingfeatwithastep—ladderandfeather—duster;butwhentheblossom—deckedswingwasletdownfromtheflies，andMissRosaliesprangsmilingintotheseat，withthegoldencircletconspicuousintheplacewhenceitwassoontoslideandbecomeasoaringandcovetedguerdon——thenitwasthattheaudienceroseinitsseatasasingleman——orpresumablyso——andin—
dorsedthespecialtythatmadeMissRay’snameafavoriteinthebooking—offices。
AttheendofthetwoyearsMissRaysuddenlyan—
nouncedtoherdearfriend，MissD’Armande，thatshewasgoingtospendthesummeratanantediluvianvillageonthenorthshoreofLongIsland，andthatthestagewouldseehernomore。
SeventeenminutesafterMissLynnetteD’Armandehadexpressedherwishtoknowthewhereaboutsofheroldchum，thereweresharprapsatherdoor。
DoubtnotthatitwasRosalieRay。Attheshrillcommandtoentershedidso，withsomethingofatiredflutter，anddroppedaheavyhand—bagonthefloor。Uponmyword，itwasRosalie，inaloose，travel—stainedautomobilelesscoat，closelytiedbrownveilwithyard—long，flyingends，graywalking—suitandtanoxfordswithlavenderovergaiters。
Whenshethrewoffherveilandhat，yousawaprettyenoughface，nowflushedanddisturbedbysomeunusualemotion，andrestless，largeeyeswithdiscontentmarringtheirbrightness。Aheavypileofdullauburnhair，hastilyputup，wasescapingincrinkly，wavingstrandsandcurling，smalllocksfromtheconfiningcombsandpins。
Themeetingofthetwowasnotmarkedbytheeffusionvocal，gymnastical，osculatoryandcatecheti—
calthatdistinguishesthegreetingsoftheirunpro—
fessionalsistersinsociety。Therewasabriefclinch，twosimultaneouslabialdabsandtheystoodonthesamefootingoftheolddays。Verymuchliketheshortsalutationsofsoldiersoroftravellersinfor—
eignwildsarethewelcomesbetweenthestrollersatthecornersoftheircrisscrossroads。
\"I’vegotthehall—roomtwoflightsupaboveyours，\"saidRosalie，\"butIcamestraighttoseeyoubeforegoingup。Ididn’tknowyouwereheretilltheytoldme。\"
\"I’vebeeninsincethelastofApril，\"saidLyn—
nette。\"AndI’mgoingontheroadwitha’FatalInheritance’company。WeopennextweekinEliz—
abeth。Ithoughtyou’dquitthestage，Lee。Tellmeaboutyourself。\"
RosaliesettledherselfwithaskilfulwriggleonthetopofMissD’Armande’swardrobetrunk，andleanedherheadagainstthepaperedwall。Fromlonghabit，thuscanperipateticleadingladiesandtheirsistersmakethemselvesascomfort。
ableasthoughthedeepestarmchairsembracedthem。
\"I’mgoingtotellyou，Lynn，\"shesaid，withastrangelysardonicandyetcarelesslyresignedlookonheryouthfulface。\"Andthento—morrowI’llstriketheoldBroadwaytrailagain，andwearsomemorepaintoffthechairsintheagents’offices。Ifanybodyhadtoldmeanytimeinthelastthreemonthsuptofouro’clockthisafternoonthatI’deverlistentothat’Leave—your—name—and—address’rotofthebookingbunchagain，I’dhavegiven’emtherealMrs。
Fiskelaugh。Loanmeahandkerchief，Lynn。Gee！
butthoseLongIslandtrainsarefierce。I’vegotenoughsoft—coalcindersonmyfacetogoonandplayTopsywithoutusingthecork。And，speakingofcorks——gotanythingtodrink，Lynn？\"
MissD’Armandeopenedadoorofthewash—standandtookoutabottle。
\"There’snearlyapintofManhattan。There’saclusterofcarnationsinthedrinkingglass，but——\"
\"Oh，passthebottle。Savetheglassforcom—
pany。Thanks！Thathitsthespot。Thesametoyou。Myfirstdrinkinthreemonths！\"
\"Yes，Lynn，Iquitthestageattheendoflastseason。IquititbecauseIwassickofthelife。Andespeciallybecausemyheartandsoulweresickofmenofthekindofmenwestagepeoplehavetobeupagainst。Youknowwhatthegameistous——it’safightagainst’emallthewaydownthelinefromthemanagerwhowantsustotryhisnewmotor—cartothebill—posterswhowanttocallusbyourfrontnames。
\"Andthemenwehavetomeetaftertheshowaretheworstofall。Thestage—doorkind，andtheman—
ager’sfriendswhotakeustosupperandshowtheirdiamondsandtalkaboutseeing’Dan’and’Dave’
and’Charlie’forus。They’rebeasts，andIhate’em。
\"Itellyou，Lynn，it’sthegirlslikeusonthestagethatoughttobepitied。It’sgirlsfromgoodhomesthatarehonestlyambitiousandworkhardtoriseintheprofession，butneverdogetthere。Youbearalotofsympathysloshedaroundonchorusgirlsandtheirfifteendollarsaweek。Piffle！Thereain’tasorrowinthechorusthatalobstercannotheal。
\"Ifthere’sanytearstoshed，let’emfallfortheactressthatgetsasalaryoffromthirtytoforty—fivedollarsaweekfortakingaleadingpartinabumshow。Sheknowsshe’llneverdoanybetter;butshehangsonforyears，hopingforthe’chanceIthatnevercomes。
\"Andthefoolplayswehavetoworkin！Havinganothergirlrollyouaroundthestagebythehindlegsina’WheelbarrowChorus’inamusicalcomedyisdignifieddramacomparedwiththeidioticthingsI’vehadtodointhethirty—centers。
\"ButwhatIhatedmostwasthemen——themenleeringandblatheringatyouacrosstables，tryingtobuyyouwithWurzburgerorExtraDry，accord—
ingtotheirestimateofyourprice。Andthemenintheaudiences，clapping，yelling，snarling，crowding，writhing，gloating——likealotofwildbeasts，withtheireyesfixedonyou，readytoeatyouupifyoucomeinreachoftheirclaws。Oh，howIhate’em！
\"Well，I’mnottellingyoumuchaboutmyself，amI，Lynn？
\"Ihadtwohundreddollarssavedup，andIcutthestagethefirstofthesummer。IwentoveronLongIslandandfoundthesweetestlittlevillagethateverwas，calledSoundport，rightonthewater。Iwasgoingtospendthesummerthere，andstudyuponelocution，andtrytogetaclassinthefall。Therewasanoldwidowladywithacottagenearthebeachwhosometimesrentedaroomortwojustforcom—
pany，andshetookmein。Shehadanotherboarder，too——theReverendArthurLyle。
\"Yes，hewasthehead—liner。You’reon，Lynn。
I’lltellyouallofitinaminute。It’sonlyaone—actplay。
\"Thefirsttimehewalkedon，Lynn，Ifeltmyselfgoing;thefirstlineshespoke，hehadme。Hewasdifferentfromthemeninaudiences。Hewastallandslim，andyouneverheardhimcomeintheroom，butyoufelthim。Hehadafacelikeapictureofaknight——likeoneofthatRoundTablebunch——andavoicelikea’cellosolo。Andhismanners！
\"Lynn，ifyou’dtakeJohnDrewinhisbestdraw—
ing—roomsceneandcomparethetwo，you’dhaveJohnarrestedfordisturbingthepeace。
\"I’llspareyoutheparticulars;butinlessthanamonthArthurandIwereengaged。Hepreachedatalittleone—nightstandofaMethodistchurch。Therewastobeaparsonagethesizeofalunch—wagon，andhensandhoneysuckleswhenweweremarried。Ar—
thurusedtopreachtomeagooddealaboutHeaven，butbenevercouldgetmymindquiteoffthosehoney—
sucklesandhens。
\"No;Ididn’ttellhimI’dbeenonthestage。I
hatedthebusinessandallthatwentwithit;I’dcutitoutforever，andIdidn’tseeanyuseofstirringthingsup。Iwasagoodgirl，andIdidn’thaveany—
thingtoconfess，exceptbeinganelocutionist，andthatwasaboutallthestrainmyconsciencewouldstand。
\"Oh，Itellyou，Lynn，Iwashappy。Isanginthechoirandattendedthesewingsociety，andre—
citedthat’AnnieLaurie’thingwiththewhistlingstuntinit，’inamannerborderingupontheprofes—
sional，’astheweeklyvillagepaperreportedit。AndArthurandIwentrowing，andwalkinginthewoods，andclamming，andthatpokylittlevillageseemedtomethebestplaceintheworld。I’dhavebeenhappytolivetherealways，too，if——
\"ButonemorningoldMrs。Gurley，thewidowlady，gotgossipywhileIwashelpingherstringbeansonthebackporch，andbegantogushinformation，asfolkswhorentouttheirroomsusuallydo。Mr。Lylewasherideaofasaintonearth——ashewasmine，too。Shewentoverallhisvirtuesandgraces，andwoundupbytellingmethatArthurhadhadanex—
tremelyromanticlove—affair，notlongbefore，thathadendedunhappily。Shedidn’tseemtobeontothede—
tails，butsheknewthathehadbeenhitprettyhard。
Hewaspalerandthinner，shesaid，andhehadsomekindofaremembranceorkeepsakeoftheladyinalittlerosewoodboxthathekeptlockedinhisdeskdrawerinhisstudy。
\"’Severaltimes，\"saysshe，\"I’veseenhimgloomerin’overthatboxofevenings，andhealwayslocksituprightawayifanybodycomesintotheroom。’
\"Well，youcanimaginehowlongitwasbeforeI
gotArthurbythewristandledhimdownstageandhissedinhisear。
\"Thatsameafternoonwewerelazyingaroundinaboatamongthewater—liliesattheedgeofthebay。
\"’Arthur，’saysI，’younevertoldmeyou’dhadanotherlove—affair。ButMrs。Gurleydid，’Iwenton，tolethimknowIknew。Ihatetobearamanlie。
\"’Beforeyoucame，’sayshe，lookingmefranklyintheeye，’therewasapreviousaffection—astrongone。Sinceyouknowofit，Iwillbeperfectlycandidwithyou。’
\"’Iamwaiting，’saysI。
\"’MydearIda，’saysArthur——ofcourseIwentbymyrealname，whileIwasinSoundport——’thisformeraffectionwasaspiritualone，infact。Al—
thoughtheladyarousedmydeepestsentiments，andwas，asIthought，myidealwoman，Inevermether，andneverspoketoher。Itwasanideallove。Myloveforyou，whilenolessideal，isdifferent。Youwouldn’tletthatcomebetweenus。’
\"’Wasshepretty？’iasked。
\"’Shewasverybeautiful，’saidArthur。
\"’Didyouseeheroften？’Iasked。
\"’Somethinglikeadozentimes，’sayshe。
\"’Alwaysfromadistance？’saysI。
\"’Alwaysfromquiteadistance，’sayshe。
\"’Andyoulovedher？’Iasked。
\"’Sheseemedmyidealofbeautyandgrace——andsoul，\"saysArthur。
\"’Andthiskeepsakethatyoukeepunderlockandkey，andmoonoverattimes，isthataremembrancefromher？’
\"’Amemento，’saysArthur，’thatIhavetreasured。’
\"’Didshesendittoyou？’
\"’Itcametomefromher’saysbe。
\"’Inaroundaboutway？’Iasked。
\"’Somewhatroundabout，’sayshe，’andyetratherdirect。’
\"’Whydidn’tyouevermeether？’Iasked。
’Wereyourpositionsinlifesodifferent？’
\"Shewasfaraboveme，’saysArthur。’Now，Ida，’hegoeson，’thisisallofthepast。You’renotgoingtobejealous，areyou？’
’Jealous！’saysI。’Why，man，whatareyoutalkingabout？ItmakesmethinktentimesasmuchofyouasIdidbeforeIknewaboutit。’
\"Anditdid，Lynn—ifyoucanunderstandit。
Thatideallovewasanewoneonme，butitstruckmeasbeingthemostbeautifulandgloriousthingI’deverheardof。Thinkofamanlovingawomanhe’dneverevenspokento，andbeingfaithfuljusttowhathismindandheartpicturedher！Oh，itsoundedgreattome。ThemenI’dalwaysknowncomeatyouwitheitherdiamonds，knock—out—dropsoraraiseofsalary，——andtheirideals！——well，we’llsaynomore。\"
\"Yes，itmademethinkmoreofArthurthanIdidbefore。Icouldn’tbejealousofthatfar—awaydivin—
itythatheusedtoworship，forIwasgoingtohavehimmyself。AndIbegantolookuponhimasasaintonearth，justasoldladyGurleydid。
\"Aboutfouro’clockthisafternoonamancametothehouseforArthurtogoandseesomebodythatwassickamonghischurchbunch。OldladyGurleywastakingherafternoonsnoreonacouch，sothatleftmeprettymuchalone。
\"InpassingbyArthur’sstudyIlookedin，andsawhisbunchofkeyshanginginthedrawerofhisdesk，wherehe’dforgotten’em。Well，Iguesswe’realltotheMrs。Bluebeardnowandthen，ain’twe，Lynn？ImadeupmymindI’dhavealookatthatmementohekeptsosecret。NotthatIcaredwhatitwas——itwasjustcuriosity。
\"WhileIwasopeningthedrawerIimaginedoneortwothingsitmightbe。Ithoughtitmightbeadriedrosebudshe’ddroppeddowntohimfromabalcony，ormaybeapictureofherhe’dcutoutofamagazine，shebeingsohighupintheworld。
\"Iopenedthedrawer，andtherewastherosewoodcasketaboutthesizeofagent’scollarbox。Ifoundthelittlekeyinthebunchthatfittedit，andunlockeditandraisedthelid。
\"Itookonelookatthatmemento，andthenIwenttomyroomandpackedmytrunk。Ithrewafewthingsintomygrip，gavemyhairaflirtortwowithaside—comb，putonmyhat，andwentinandgavetheoldlady’sfootakick。I’dtriedawfullyhardtouseproperandcorrectlanguagewhileIwasthereforArthur’ssake，andIhadthehabitdownpat，butitleftmethen。
\"Stopsawinggourds，\"saysI，\"andsitupandtakenotice。Theghost’sabouttowalk。I’mgoingawayfromhere，andIoweyoueightdollars。Theexpressmanwillcallformytrunk。’
\"Ihandedherthemoney。
\"’Dearme，MissCrosby！’saysshe。’Isany—
thingwrong？Ithoughtyouwerepleasedhere。
Dearme，youngwomenaresohardtounderstand，andsodifferentfromwhatyouexpect’emtobe。’
\"’You’redamnright，’saysI。’Someof’emare。
Butyoucan’tsaythataboutmen。Whenyouknowonemanyouknow’emall！Thatsettlesthehuman—
racequestion。’
\"AndthenIcaughtthefour—thirty—eight，soft—
coalunlimited;andhereIam。\"
\"Youdidn’ttellmewhatwasinthebox，Lee，\"saidMissD’armande，anxiously。
\"OneofthoseyellowsilkgartersthatIusedtokickoffmylegintotheaudienceduringthatoldvaudevilleswingactofmine。Isthereanyofthecocktailleft，Lynn？\"