Heknewtherewasnofly。Butthegroundwassuddenlycutfromhisfeet。Thereisalimittoknighterrantry——dragonsandfalseknightsareallverywell,butflies!Fictitiousflies!Whateverthetroublewas,itwasevidentlynothisaffair。Hefelthehadmadeafoolofhimselfagain。Hewouldhavemumbledsomesortofapology;buttheothermaninbrowngavehimnotime,turnedonhimabruptly,evenfiercely。\"Ihope,\"hesaid,\"thatyourcuriosityissatisfied?\"
\"Certainly,\"saidMr。Hoopdriver。
\"Thenwewon’tdetainyou。\"
And,ignominiously,Mr。Hoopdriverturnedhismachineabout,struggleduponit,andresumedtheroadsouthward。AndwhenhelearntthathewasnotonthePortsmouthroad,itwasimpossibletoturnandgoback,forthatwouldbetofacehisshameagain,andsohehadtorideonbyBrookStreetupthehilltoHaslemere。AndawaytotherightthePortsmouthroadmockedathimandmadeofftoitsfastnessesamidthesunlitgreenandpurplemassesofHindhead,whereMr。GrantAllenwriteshisHillTopNovelsdaybyday。
Thesunshone,andthewidebluehillviewsandpleasantvalleysonesawoneitherhandfromthesandscarredroadway,eventhesidesoftheroaditselfsetaboutwithgreyheatherscrubandpricklymassesofgorse,andpinetreeswiththeiryear’sgrowthstillbrightgreen,againstthedarkenedneedlesofthepreviousyears,werefreshanddelightfultoMr。Hoopdriver’seyesButthebrightnessofthedayandtheday—oldsenseoffreedomfoughtanuphillfightagainsthisintolerablevexationatthatabominableencounter,andhadstilltowinitwhenhereachedHaslemere。A
greatbrownshadow,amonstroushatredoftheothermaninbrown,possessedhim。HehadconceivedthebrilliantideaofabandoningPortsmouth,oratleastgivingupthestraightwaytohisfellow—wayfarers,andofstrikingoutboldlytotheleft,eastward。Hedidnotdaretostopatanyoftheinvitingpublic—housesinthemainstreetofHaslemere,butturnedupasidewayandfoundalittlebeer—shop,theGoodHope,whereintorefreshhimself。Andthereheateandgossippedcondescendinglywithanagedlabourer,assumingthewhileforhisownprivateenjoymenttheattributesofaLostHeir,andafterwardsmountedandrodeontowardsNorthchapel,aplacewhichanumberoffinger—postsconspiredtoboom,butwhichsomeinsidiousturningpreventedhimfromattaining。
HOWMR。HOOPDRIVERREACHEDMIDHURST
XIV
Itwasoneofmyuncle’sprofoundestremarksthathumanbeingsaretheonlyunreasonablecreatures。ThisobservationwassofarjustifiedbyMr。Hoopdriverthat,afterspendingthemorningtortuouslyavoidingtheothermaninbrownandtheYoungLadyinGrey,hespentaconsiderablepartoftheafternooninthinkingabouttheYoungLadyinGrey,andcontemplatinginanoptimisticspiritthepossibilitiesofseeingheragain。Memoryandimaginationplayedroundher,sothathiscoursewaslargelydeterminedbythewindingsoftheroadhetraversed。Ofonegeneralpropositionhewasabsolutelyconvinced。\"There’ssomethingJuicywrongwith’em,\"saidhe——onceevenaloud。Butwhatitwashecouldnotimagine。Herecapitulatedthefacts。
\"MissBeaumont——brotherandsister——andthestoppagetoquarrelandweep——itwasperplexingmaterialforayoungmanofsmallexperience。Therewasnoexertionhehatedsomuchasinference,andafteratimehegaveupanyattempttogetattherealitiesofthecase,andlethisimaginationgofree。Shouldheeverseeheragain?Supposehedid——withthatotherchapnotabout。Thevisionhefoundpleasantestwasanencounterwithher,anunexpectedencounterattheannualDancingClass’Do’atthePutneyAssemblyRooms。Somehowtheywoulddrifttogether,andhewoulddancewithheragainandagain。Itwasapleasantvision,foryoumustunderstandthatMr。Hoopdriverdanceduncommonlywell。Oragain,intheshop,asuddenradianceinthedoorway,andsheisbowedtowardstheManchestercounter。Andthentoleanoverthatcounterandmurmur,seeminglyaproposofthegoodsunderdiscussion,\"IhavenotforgottenthatmorningonthePortsmouthroad,\"andlower,\"Inevershallforget。\"
AtNorthchapelMr。Hoopdriverconsultedhismapandtookcounselandweighedhiscourseofaction。Petworthseemedapossibleresting—place,orPullborough;Midhurstseemedtoonear,andanyplaceovertheDownsbeyond,toofar,andsohemeanderedtowardsPetworth,posinghimselfperpetuallyandloitering,gatheringwildflowersandwonderingwhytheyhadnonames——forhehadneverheardofany——droppingthemfurtivelyatthesightofastranger,andgenerally’muckingabout。’Therewerepurplevetchesinthehedges,meadowsweet,honeysuckle,belatedbrambles——butthedog—roseshadalreadygone;thereweregreenandredblackberries,stellarias,anddandelions,andinanotherplacewhitedeadnettles,traveller’s—joy,clingingbedstraw,grassesflowering,whitecampions,andraggedrobins。Onecornfieldwasgloriouswithpoppies,brightscarletandpurplewhite,andthebluecorn—flowerswerebeginning。Inthelanesthetreesmetoverhead,andthewispsofhaystillhungtothestragglinghedges。Irioneofthemainroadshesteeredaperilouspassagethroughadozensurlydunoxen。Hereandtherewerelittlecottages,andpicturesquebeer—houseswiththevividbrewers’boardsofblueandscarlet,andonceabroadgreenandachurch,andanexpanseofsomehundredhousesorso。Thenhecametoapebblyrivuletthatemergedbetweenclumpsofsedgeloosestrifeandforget—me—notsunderanarchoftrees,andrippledacrosstheroad,andtherehedismounted,longingtotakeoffshoesandstockings——thosestylishchequeredstockingswerenowalldimmedwithdust——andpaddlehisleanlegsinthechucklingcheerfulwater。Butinsteadhesatinamanlyattitude,smokingacigarette,forfearlesttheYoungLadyinGreyshouldcomeglitteringroundthecorner。FortheflavouroftheYoungLadyinGreywaspresentthroughitall,mixingwiththeflowersandallthedelightofit,atouchthatmadethisseconddayquitedifferentfromthefirst,anundertoneofexpectation,anxiety,andsomethinglikeregretthatwouldnotbeignored。
Itwasonlylateinthelongeveningthat,quiteabruptly,hebegantorepent,vividlyanddecidedly,havingfledthesetwopeople。Hewasgettinghungry,andthathasacuriouseffectupontheemotionalcolouringofourminds。Themanwasasinisterbrute,Hoopdriversawinaflashofinspiration,andthegirl——shewasinsomeserioustrouble。Andhewhomighthavehelpedherhadtakenhisfirstimpulseasdecisive——andbolted。
Thisnewviewofitdepressedhimdreadfully。Whatmightnotbehappeningtohernow?Hethoughtagainofhertears。Surelyitwasmerelyhisduty,seeingthetroubleafoot,tokeephiseyeuponit。
Hebeganridingfasttogetquitofsuchselfreproaches。Hefoundhimselfinatortuoustangleofroads,andastheduskwascomingon,emerged,notatPetworthbutatEasebourne,amilefromMidhurst。\"I’mgettinghungry,\"saidMr。Hoopdriver,inquiringofagamekeeperinEasebournevillage。\"Midhurstamile,andPetworthfive!——Thenks,I’lltakeMidhurst。\"
HecameintoMidhurstbythebridgeatthewatermill,anduptheNorthStreet,andalittleshopflourishingcheerfully,thecheerfulsignofateapot,andexhibitingabrilliantarrayoftobaccos,sweets,andchildren’stoysinthewindow,struckhisfancy。Aneat,bright—eyedlittleoldladymadehimwelcome,andhewaspresentlysuppingsumptuouslyonsausagesandtea,withavisitors’bookfullofthemosthumorousandflatteringremarksaboutthelittleoldlady,inverseandprose,proppedupagainsthisteapotasheate。Regulargoodsomeofthejokeswere,andrhymesthatreadwell——evenwithyourmouthfullofsausage。Mr。
Hoopdriverformedavagueideaofdrawing\"something\"——forhisjudgmentonthelittleoldladywasalreadyformed。Hepicturedthelittleoldladydiscoveringitafterwards——\"Mygracious!OneofthemPunchmen,\"shewouldsay。Theroomhadacurtainedrecessandachestofdrawers,forpresentlyitwastobehisbedroom,andthedaypartofitwasdecoratedwithframedOddfellows’certificatesandgiltbackedbooksandportraits,andkettle—holders,andallkindsofbeautifulthingsmadeoutofwool;verycomfortableitwasindeed。Thewindowwasleadframedanddiamondpaned,andthroughitonesawthecornerofthevicarageandapleasanthillcrest,induskysilhouetteagainstthetwilightsky。Andafterthesausageshadceasedtobe,helitaRedHerringcigaretteandwentswaggeringoutintothetwilightstreet。Allshadowybluebetweenitsdarkbrickhouses,wasthestreet,withabrightyellowwindowhereandthereandsplashesofgreenandredwherethechemist’silluminationfellacrosstheroad。
ANINTERLUDE
XV
AndnowletusforaspaceleaveMr。HoopdriverintheduskyMidhurstNorthStreet,andreturntothetwofolksbesidetherailwaybridgebetweenMilfordandHaslemere。Shewasagirlofeighteen,dark,finefeatured,withbrighteyes,andarich,swiftcolourunderherwarm—tintedskin。Hereyeswereallthebrighterforthetearsthatswaminthem。Themanwasthirtythreeorfour,fair,withalongishnoseoverhanginghissandyflaxenmoustache,paleblueeyes,andaheadthatstruckoutaboveandbehind。Hestoodwithhisfeetwideapart,hishandonhiship,inanattitudethatwasequallysuggestiveofdefianceandaggression。TheyhadwatchedHoopdriveroutofsight。Theunexpectedinterruptionhadstoppedthefloodofhertears。Hetuggedhisabundantmoustacheandregardedhercalmly。Shestoodwithfaceaverted,obstinatelyresolvednottospeakfirst。\"Yourbehaviour,\"hesaidatlast,\"makesyouconspicuous。\"
Sheturneduponhim,hereyesandcheeksglowing,herhandsclenched。\"YouunspeakableCAD,\"shesaid,andchoked,stampedherlittlefoot,andstoodpanting。
\"Unspeakablecad!Mydeargirl!PossibleIAManunspeakablecad。
Whowouldn’tbe——foryou?\"
\"’Deargirl!’HowDAREyouspeaktomelikethat?YOU——\"
\"Iwoulddoanything——\"
\"OH!\"
Therewasamoment’spause。Shelookedsquarelyintohisface,hereyesalightwithangerandcontempt,andperhapsheflushedalittle。Hestrokedhismoustache,andbyaneffortmaintainedhiscynicalcalm。\"Letusbereasonable,\"hesaid。
\"Reasonable!Thatmeansallthatismeanandcowardlyandsensualintheworld。\"
\"Youhavealwayshaditso——inyourgeneralisingway。Butletuslookatthefactsofthecase——ifthatpleasesyoubetter。\"
Withanimpatientgestureshemotionedhimtogoon。
\"Well,\"hesaid,——\"you’veeloped。\"
\"I’veleftmyhome,\"shecorrected,withdignity。\"Ileftmyhomebecauseitwasunendurable。Becausethatwoman——\"
\"Yes,yes。Butthepointis,youhaveelopedwithme。\"
\"Youcamewithme。Youpretendedtobemyfriend。Promisedtohelpmetoearnalivingbywriting。Itwasyouwhosaid,whyshouldn’tamanandwomanbefriends?Andnowyoudare——youdare——\"
\"Really,Jessie,thisposeofyours,thisinjuredinnocence——\"
\"Iwillgoback。Iforbidyou——Iforbidyoutostandintheway——\"
\"Onemoment。Ihavealwaysthoughtthatmylittlepupilwasatleastclear—headed。Youdon’tknoweverythingyet,youknow。
Listentomeforamoment。\"
\"Haven’tIbeenlistening?Andyouhaveonlyinsultedme。Youwhodaredonlytotalkoffriendship,whoscarcelydaredhintatanythingbeyond。\"
\"Butyoutookthehints,nevertheless。Youknew。YouKNEW。Andyoudidnotmind。MIND!Youlikedit。Itwasthefunofthewholethingforyou。ThatIlovedyou,andcouldnotspeaktoyou。Youplayedwithit——\"
\"Youhavesaidallthatbefore。Doyouthinkthatjustifiesyou?\"
\"Thatisn’tall。Imadeupmymind——Well,tomakethegamemoreeven。AndsoIsuggestedtoyouandjoinedwithyouinthisexpeditionofyours,inventedasisteratMidhurst——Itellyou,I
HAVEN’Tasister!Foroneobject——\"
\"Well?\"
\"Tocompromiseyou。\"
Shestarted。Thatwasanewwayofputtingit。Forhalfaminuteneitherspoke。Thenshebeganhalfdefiantly:\"MuchIamcompromised。Ofcourse——Ihavemadeafoolofmyself——\"
\"Mydeargirl,youarestillonthesunnysideofeighteen,andyouknowverylittleofthisworld。Lessthanyouthink。Butyouwilllearn。Beforeyouwriteallthosenovelswehavetalkedabout,youwillhavetolearn。Andthat’sonepoint——\"Hehesitated。\"YoustartedandblushedwhenthemanatbreakfastcalledyouMa’am。Youthoughtitafunnymistake,butyoudidnotsayanythingbecausehewasyoungandnervous——andbesides,thethoughtofbeingmywifeoffendedyourmodesty。Youdidn’tcaretonoticeit。But——yousee;IgaveyournameasMRS。Beaumont。\"
Helookedalmostapologetic,inspiteofhiscynicalpose。\"MRS。
Beaumont,\"herepeated,pullinghisflaxenmoustacheandwatchingtheeffect。
Shelookedintohiseyesspeechless。\"Iamlearningfast,\"shesaidslowly,atlast。
Hethoughtthetimehadcomeforanemotionalattack。\"Jessie,\"
hesaid,withasuddenchangeofvoice,\"Iknowallthisismean,isvillanous。ButdoyouthinkthatIhavedoneallthisscheming,allthissubterfuge,foranyotherobject——\"
Shedidnotseemtolistentohiswords。\"Ishallridehome,\"shesaidabruptly。
\"Toher?\"
Shewinced。
\"Justthink,\"saidhe,\"whatshecouldsaytoyouafterthis。\"
\"Anyhow,Ishallleaveyounow。\"
\"Yes?Andgo——\"
\"Gosomewheretoearnmyliving,tobeafreewoman,tolivewithoutconventionality——\"
\"Mydeargirl,doletusbecynical。Youhaven’tmoneyandyouhaven’tcredit。Noonewouldtakeyouin。It’soneoftwothings:
gobacktoyourstepmother,or——trusttome。\"
\"HowCANI?\"
\"Thenyoumustgobacktoher。\"Hepausedmomentarily,toletthisconsiderationhaveitsproperweight。\"Jessie,IdidnotmeantosaythethingsIdid。Uponmyhonour,IlostmyheadwhenIspokeso。Ifyouwill,forgiveme。Iamaman。Icouldnothelpmyself。Forgiveme,andIpromiseyou——\"
\"HowcanItrustyou?\"
\"Tryme。Icanassureyou——\"
Sheregardedhimdistrustfully。
\"Atanyrate,rideonwithmenow。Surelywehavebeenintheshadowofthishorriblebridgelongenough。\"
\"Oh!letmethink,\"shesaid,halfturningfromhimandpressingherhandtoherbrow。
\"THINK!Lookhere,Jessie。Itisteno’clock。Shallwecallatruceuntilone?\"
Shehesitated,demandedadefinitionofthetruce,andatlastagreed。
Theymounted,androdeoninsilence,throughthesunlightandtheheather。Bothwereextremelyuncomfortableanddisappointed。
Shewaspale,dividedbetweenfearandanger。Sheperceivedshewasinascrape,andtriedinvaintothinkofawayofescape。
Onlyonetangiblethingwouldkeepinhermind,tryasshewouldtoignoreit。Thatwasthequiteirrelevantfactthathisheadwassingularlylikeanalbinococoanut。He,too,feltthwarted。
Hefeltthatthisromanticbusinessofseductionwas,afterall,unexpectedlytame。Butthiswasonlythebeginning。Atanyrate,everydayshespentwithhimwasadaygained。Perhapsthingslookedworsethantheywere;thatwassomeconsolation。
OFTHEARTIFICIALINMAN,ANDOFTHEZEITGEIST
XVI
Youhaveseenthesetwoyoungpeople——Bechamel,by—the—bye,istheman’sname,andthegirl’sisJessieMilton——fromtheoutside;youhaveheardthemtalking;theyridenowsidebyside(butnottooclosetogether,andinanuneasysilence)towardsHaslemere;andthischapterwillconcernitselfwiththosecuriouslittlecouncilchambersinsidetheirskulls,wheretheirmotivesareinsessionandtheiractsareconsideredandpassed。
Butfirstawordconcerningwigsandfalseteeth。Somejester,enlargingupontheincreaseofbaldheadsandpurblindpeople,hasdeducedawonderfulfutureforthechildrenofmen。Man,hesaid,wasnowadaysahairlesscreaturebyfortyorfifty,andforhairwegavehimawig;shrivelled,andwepaddedhim;toothless,andlo!falseteethsetingold。Didhelosealimb,andafine,new,artificialonewasathisdisposal;getindigestion,andtohandwasartificialdigestivefluidorbileorpancreatine,asthecasemightbe。Complexions,too,werereplaceable,spectaclessupersededaninefficienteye—lens,andimperceptiblefalsediaphragmswerethrustintothefailingear。Sohewentoverouranatomies,until,atlast,hehadconjuredupaweirdthingofshredsandpatches,asimulacrum,anartificialbodyofaman,withbutadoubtfulgermoflivingfleshlurkingsomewhereinhisrecesses。Tothat,heheld,wewerecoming。
Howfarsuchoddsubstitutionforthebodyispossibleneednotconcernusnow。Butthedevil,speakingbythelipsofMr。
RudyardKipling,hathitthatinthecaseofoneTomlinson,thething,sofarasthesoulisconcerned,hasalreadybeenaccomplished。Timewaswhenmenhadsimplesouls,desiresasnaturalastheireyes,alittlereasonablephilanthropy,alittlereasonablephiloprogenitiveness,hunger,andatasteforgoodliving,adecent,personalvanity,ahealthy,satisfyingpugnacity,andsoforth。Butnowwearetaughtanddisciplinedforyearsandyears,andthereafterwereadandreadforallthetimesomestrenuous,nerve—destroyingbusinesspermits。Pedagogichypnotists,pulpitandplatformhypnotists,book—writinghypnotists,newspaper—writinghypnotists,areatusall。Thissugaryouareeating,theytellus,isink,andforthwithwerejectitwithinfinitedisgust。ThisblackdraughtofunrequitedtoilisTrueHappiness,anddownitgoeswitheverysymptomofpleasure。ThisIbsen,theysay,isdullpastbelieving,andweyawnandstretchbeyondendurance。Pardon!theyinterrupt,butthisIbsenisdeepanddelightful,andweviewithoneanotherinanexcessofentertainment。Andwhenweopentheheadsofthesetwoyoungpeople,wefind,notastraightforwardmotiveonthesurfaceanywhere;wefind,indeed,notasoulsomuchasanoversoul,azeitgeist,acongestionofacquiredideas,ahighway’sfeastoffine,confusedthinking。ThegirlisresolutetoLiveHerOwnLife,aphraseyoumayhaveheardbefore,andthemanhasaprettypervertedambitiontobeacynicalartisticpersonoftheverycalmestdescription。HeishopingfortheawakeningofPassioninher,amongotherthings。HeknowsPassionoughttoawaken,fromthetext—bookshehasstudied。Heknowssheadmireshisgenius,butheisunawarethatshedoesnotadmirehishead。HeisquiteadistinguishedartcriticinLondon,andhemetheratthatcelebratedladynovelist’s,herstepmother,andhereyouhavethemwellembarkedupontheAdventure。Bothareinthefirststageofrepentance,whichconsists,asyouhaveprobablyfoundforyourself,insettingyourteethhardandsaying’\"IWILLgoon。\"
Things,yousee,havejarredalittle,andtheyrideontheirwaytogetherwithacertainaloofnessofmannerthatpromisesillfortheorthodoxdevelopmentoftheAdventure。Heperceiveshewastooprecipitate。Buthefeelshishonourisinvolved,andmeditatesthedevelopmentofanewattack。Andthegirl?Sheisunawakened。Hermotivesarebookish,writtenbyahaphazardsyndicateofauthors,novelists,andbiographers,onherwhiteinexperience。Anartificialoversoulsheis,thatmaypresentlybreakdownandrevealahumanbeingbeneathit。Sheisstillinthatschoolgirlphasewhenatalkativeoldmanismoreinterestingthanatongue—tiedyoungone,andwhentobeaneminentmathematician,say,ortoeditadailypaper,seemsasfineanambitionasanygirlneedaspireto。Bechanielwastohavehelpedhertoattainthatinthemostexpeditiousmanner,andhereheisbesideher,talkingenigmaticalphrasesaboutpassion,lookingatherwiththeoddestexpression,andonce,andthatwashisgravestoffence,offeringtokissher。Atanyratehehasapologised。Shestillscarcelyrealises,yousee,thescrapeshehasgotinto。
THEENCOUNTERATMIDHURST
XVII
WeleftMr。Hoopdriveratthedoorofthelittletea,toy,andtobaccoshop。YoumustnotthinkthatastrainisputoncoincidencewhenItellyouthatnextdoortoMrs。Wardor’s——thatwasthenameofthebright—eyed,littleoldladywithwhomMr。
Hoopdriverhadstopped——istheAngelHotel,andintheAngelHotel,onthenightthatMr。HoopdriverreachedMidhurst,were’Mr。’and’Miss’Beaumont,ourBechamelandJessieMilton。
Indeed,itwasahighlyprobablething;forifonegoesthroughGuildford,thechoiceofsouthwardroadsislimited;youmaygobyPetersfieldtoPortsmouth,orbyMidhursttoChichester,inadditiontowhichhighwaysthereisnothingforitbutminorroadwaystoPetworthorPulborough,andcross—cutsBrightonward。
AndcomingtoMidhurstfromthenorth,theAngel’sentranceliesyawningtoengulfyourhighlyrespectablecyclists,whileMrs。
Wardor’sgenialteapotisequallyattractivetothosewhoweightheirmeansinlittlescales。ButtopeopleunfamiliarwiththeSussexroads——andsuchwerethethreepersonsofthisstory——theconvergencedidnotappeartobesoinevitable。
Bechamel,tighteninghischainintheAngelyardafterdinner,wasthefirsttobeawareoftheirreunion。HesawHoopdriverwalkslowlyacrossthegateway,hisheadenhaloedincigarettesmoke,andpassoutofsightupthestreet。Incontinentlyamassofcloudyuneasiness,thathadbeenpartlydispelledduringtheday,reappearedandconcentratedrapidlyintodefinitesuspicion。
Heputhisscrewhammerintohispocketandwalkedthroughthearchwayintothestreet,tosettlethebusinessforthwith,forhepridedhimselfonhisdecision。Hoopdriverwasmerelypromenading,andtheymetfacetoface。
Atthesightofhisadversary,somethingbetweendisgustandlaughterseizedMr。Hoopdriverandforamomentdestroyedhisanimosity。\"’Ereweareagain!\"hesaid,laughinginsincerelyinasuddenoutbreakattheperversityofchance。
TheothermaninbrownstoppedshortinMr。Hoopdriver’sway,staring。Thenhisfaceassumedanexpressionofdangerouscivility。\"Isitanyinformationtoyou,\"hesaid,withimmensepoliteness,\"whenIremarkthatyouarefollowingus?\"
Mr。Hoopdriver,forsomeoccultreason,resistedhischaracteristicimpulsetoapologise。Hewantedtoannoy。theothermaninbrown,andasentencethathadcomeintohisheadinapreviousrehearsalcroppedupappropriately。\"Sincewhen,\"saidMr。Hoopdriver,catchinghisbreath,yetbringingthequestionoutvaliantly,nevertheless,——\"sincewhen’aveyoupurchasedthecountyofSussex?\"
\"MayIpointout,\"saidtheothermaninbrown,\"thatIobject——
weobjectnotonlytoyourproximitytous。Tobefrank——youappeartobefollowingus——withanobject。\"
\"Youcanalways,\"saidMr。Hoopdriver,\"turnroundifyoudon’tlikeit,andgobackthewayyoucame。\"
\"Oh—o!\"saidtheothermaninbrown。\"THAT’Sit!Ithoughtasmuch。\"
\"Didyou?\"saidMr。Hoopdriver,quiteatsea,butrisingpluckilytotheunknownoccasion。Whatwasthemandrivingat?
\"Isee,\"saidtheotherman。\"Isee。Ihalfsuspected——\"Hismannerchangedabruptlytoaqualitysuspiciouslyfriendly。\"Yes—
—awordwithyou。Youwill,Ihope,givemetenminutes。\"
WonderfulthingsweredawningonMr。Hoopdriver。Whatdidtheothermantakehimfor?Hereatlastwasreality!Hehesitated。
Thenhethoughtofanadmirablephrase。\"You’avesomecommunication——\"
\"We’llcallitacommunication,\"saidtheotherman。
\"Icanspareyouthetenminutes,\"saidMr。Hoopdriver,withdignity。
\"Thisway,then,\"saidtheothermaninbrown,andtheywalkedslowlydowntheNorthStreettowardstheGrammarSchool。Therewas,perhaps,thirtyseconds’silence。Theothermanstrokedhismoustachenervously。Mr。Hoopdriver’sdramaticinstinctswerenowfullyawake。Hedidnotquiteunderstandinwhatrolehewascast,butitwasevidentlysomethingdarkandmysterious。DoctorConanDoyle,VictorHugo,andAlexanderDumaswerewellwithinMr。Hoopdriver’srangeofreading,andhehadnotreadthemfornothing。
\"Iwillbeperfectlyfrankwithyou,\"saidtheothermaninbrown。
\"Franknessisalwaysthebestcourse,\"saidMr。Hoopdriver。
\"Well,then——whothedevilsetyouonthisbusiness?\"
\"SetmeONthisbusiness?\"
\"Don’tpretendtobestupid。Who’syouremployer?Whoengagedyouforthisjob?\"
\"Well,\"saidMr。Hoopdriver,confused。\"No——Ican’tsay。\"
\"Quitesure?\"Theothermaninbrownglancedmeaninglydownathishand,andMr。Hoopdriver,followinghimmechanically,sawayellowmillededgeglitteringinthetwilight。Nowyourshopassistantisjustabovethetip—receivingclass,andonlyjustaboveit——sothatheisacutelysensitiveonthepoint。
Mr。Hoopdriverflushedhotly,andhiseyeswereangryashemetthoseoftheothermaninbrown。\"Stowit!\"saidMr。Hoopdriver,stoppingandfacingthetempter。
\"What!\"saidtheothermaninbrown,surprised。\"Eigh?\"Andsosayinghestoweditinhisbreechespocket。
\"D’yerthinkI’mtobebribed?\"saidMr。Hoopdriver,whoseimaginationwasrapidlyexpandingthesituation。\"ByGosh!I’dfollowyounow——\"
\"Mydearsir,\"saidtheothermaninbrown,\"Ibegyourpardon。I
misunderstoodyou。Ireallybegyourpardon。Letuswalkon。Inyourprofession——\"
\"Whathaveyougottosayagainstmyprofession?\"
\"Well,really,youknow。Therearedetectivesofaninferiordescription——watchers。Thewholeclass。PrivateInquiry——Ididnotrealise——Ireallytrustyouwilloverlookwhatwas,afterall——youmustadmit——anaturalindiscretion。Menofhonourarenotsocommonintheworld——inanyprofession。\"
ItwasluckyforMr。HoopdriverthatinMidhursttheydonotlightthelampsinthesummertime,ortheonetheywerepassinghadbetrayedhim。Asitwas,hehadtosnatchsuddenlyathismoustacheandtugfiercelyatit,toconcealthefurioustumultofexultation,thepassionoflaughter,thatcameboilingup。
Detective!EvenintheshadowBechamelsawthatalaughwasstifled,butheputitdowntothefactthatthephrase\"menofhonour\"amusedhisinterlocutor。\"He’llcomeroundyet,\"saidBechameltohimself。\"He’ssimplyholdingoutforafiver。\"Hecoughed。
\"Idon’tseethatithurtsyoutotellmewhoyouremployeris。\"
\"Don’tyou?Ido。\"
\"Prompt,\"saidBechamel,appreciatively。\"Nowhere’sthethingI
wanttoputtoyou——thekernelofthewholebusiness。Youneednotanswerifyoudon’twantto。There’snoharmdoneinmytellingyouwhatIwanttoknow。Areyouemployedtowatchme——orMissMilton?\"
\"I’mnottheleakysort,\"saidMr。Hoopdriver,keepingthesecrethedidnotknowwithimmenseenjoyment。MissMilton!Thatwashername。Perhapshe’dtellsomemore。\"It’snogoodpumping。Isthatallyou’reafter?\"saidMr。Hoopdriver。
Bechamelrespectedhimselfforhisdiplomaticgifts。Hetriedtocatcharemarkbythrowingoutaconfidence。\"Itakeittherearetwopeopleconcernedinwatchingthisaffair。\"
\"Who’stheother?\"saidMr。Hoopdriver,calmly,butcontrollingwithenormousinternaltensionhisselfappreciation。\"Who’stheother?\"wasreallybrilliant,hethought。
\"There’smywifeandHERstepmother。\"
\"Andyouwanttoknowwhichitis?\"
\"Yes,\"saidBechamel。
\"Well——arst’em!\"saidMr。Hoopdriver,hisexultationgettingthebetterofhim,andwithaprettyconsciousnessofrepartee。\"Arst’emboth。\"
Bechamelturnedimpatiently。Thenhemadealasteffort。\"I’dgiveafive—poundnotetoknowjusttheprecisestateofaffairs,\"hesaid。
\"Itoldyoutostowthat,\"saidMr。Hoopdriver,inathreateningtone。Andaddedwithperfecttruthandamagnificentmystery,\"Youdon’tquiteunderstandwhoyou’redealingwith。Butyouwill!\"HespokewithsuchconvictionthathehalfbelievedthatthatdefectiveofficeofhisinLondon——BakerStreet,infact——
reallyexisted。
Withthattheinterviewterminated。BechamelwentbacktotheAngel,perturbed。\"Hangdetectives!\"Itwasn’tthekindofthinghehadanticipatedatall。Hoopdriver,withroundeyesandawonderingsmile,walkeddowntowherethemillwatersglitteredinthemoonlight,andaftermeditatingovertheparapetofthebridgeforaspace,withoccasionalmurmursof,\"PrivateInquiry\"
andthelike,returned,withmysteryeveninhispaces,towardsthetown。
XVIII
Thatgleewhichfindsexpressioninraisedeyebrowsandlong,lowwhistlingnoiseswasuponMr。Hoopdriver。ForaspaceheforgotthetearsoftheYoungLadyinGrey。Herewasanewgame!——andarealone。Mr。HoopdriverasaPrivateInquiryAgent,aSherlockHolmesinfact,keepingthesetwopeople’underobservation。’HewalkedslowlybackfromthebridgeuntilhewasoppositetheAngel,andstoodfortenminutes,perhaps,contemplatingthatestablishmentandenjoyingallthestrangesensationsofbeingthiswonderful,thismysteriousandterriblething。Everythingfellintoplaceinhisscheme。Hehad,ofcourse,byakindofinstinct,assumedthedisguiseofacyclist,pickedupthefirstoldcrockhecameacrossasameansofpursuit。’Noexpensewastobespared。’
Thenhetriedtounderstandwhatitwasinparticularthathewasobserving。\"Mywife\"——\"HERstepmother!\"Thenherememberedherswimmingeyes。Abruptlycameawaveofangerthatsurprisedhim,washedawaythedetectivesuperstructure,andlefthimplainMr。
Hoopdriver。Thismaninbrown,withhisconfidentmanner,andhisprofferedhalfsovereign(damnhim!)wasuptonogood,elsewhyshouldheobjecttobeingwatched?Hewasmarried!Shewasnothissister。Hebegantounderstand。AhorriblesuspicionofthestateofaffairscameintoMr。Hoopdriver’shead。SurelyithadnotcometoTHAT。Hewasadetective!——hewouldfindout。Howwasittobedone?Hebegantosubmitsketchesonapprovaltohimself。ItrequiredaneffortbeforehecouldwalkintotheAngelbar。\"Alemonadeandbitter,please,\"saidMr。Hoopdriver。
Heclearedhisthroat。\"AreMr。andMrs。Bowlongstoppinghere?\"
\"What,agentlemanandayounglady——onbicycles?\"
\"Fairlyyoung——amarriedcouple。\"
\"No,\"saidthebarmaid,atalkativepersonofampledimensions。
\"There’snomarriedcouplesstoppinghere。Butthere’saMr。andMissBEAUMONT。\"Shespeltitforprecision。\"Sureyou’vegotthenameright,youngman?\"
\"Quite,\"saidMr。Hoopdriver。
\"Beaumontthereis,butnooneofthenameof——Whatwasthenameyougave?\"
\"Bowlong,\"saidMr。Hoopdriver。
\"No,thereain’tnoBowlong,\"saidthebarmaid,takingupaglassclothandadryingtumblerandbeginningtopolishthelatter。\"Firstoff,IthoughtyoumightbeaskingforBeaumont——
thenamesbeingsimilar。Wereyouexpectingthemonbicycles?\"
\"Yes——theysaidtheyMIGHTbeinMidhursttonight。\"
\"P’rapsthey’llcomepresently。Beaumont’shere,butnoBowlong。
SurethatBeaumontain’tthename?\"
\"Certain,\"saidMr。Hoopdriver。
\"It’scuriousthenamesbeingsoalike。Ithoughtp’raps——\"
Andsotheyconversedatsomelength,Mr。Hoopdriverdelightedtofindhishorriblesuspiciondisposedof。Thebarmaidhavinglistenedawhileatthestaircasevolunteeredsomeparticularsoftheyoungcoupleupstairs。Hermodestywasmuchimpressedbytheyounglady’scostume,sosheintimated,andMr。Hoopdriverwhisperedthebadinagenaturaltotheoccasion,atwhichshewascoquettishlyshocked。\"There’llbenoknowingwhichiswhich,inayearortwo,\"saidthebarmaid。\"Andhermannertoo!Shegotoffhermachineandgiveit’imtostickupagainstthekerb,andinshemarched。’Iandmybrother,’saysshe,’wanttostophereto—night。Mybrotherdoesn’tmindwhatkindofroom’e’as,butI
wantaroomwithagoodview,ifthere’sonetobegot,’saysshe。Hecomeshurryinginafterandlooksather。’I’vesettledtherooms,’shesays,and’esays’damn!’justlikethat。Icanfancymybrotherlettingmebosstheshowlikethat。\"
\"Idessayyoudo,\"saidMr。Hoopdriver,\"ifthetruthwasknown。\"
Thebarmaidlookeddown,smiledandshookherhead,putdownthetumbler,polished,andtookupanotherthathadbeendraining,andshookthedropsofwaterintoherlittlezincsink。
\"She’llbeanicelittlelottomarry,\"saidthebarmaid。\"She’llbewearingthe——well,b—dashes,asthesayin’is。Ican’tthinkwhatgirlsiscomin’to。\"
ThisdepreciationoftheYoungLadyinGreywashardlytoHoopdriver’staste。
\"Fashion,\"saidhe,takinguphischange。\"Fashionisallthegowithyouladies——andalwayswas。You’llbewearing’emyourselfbeforeacoupleofyearsisout。\"
\"Nicethey’dlookonmyfigger,\"saidthebarmaid,withatitter。
\"No——Iain’toneofyourfashionablesort。Graciousno!I
shouldn’tfeelasifI’danythingonme,notmorethanifI’dforgot——Well,there!I’mtalking。\"Sheputdowntheglassabruptly。\"IdessayI’moldfashioned,\"shesaid,andwalkedhummingdownthebar。
\"Notyou,\"saidMr。Hoopdriver。Hewaiteduntilhecaughthereye,thenwithhisnativecourtesysmiled,raisedhiscap,andwishedhergoodevening。
XIX
ThenMr。Hoopdriverreturnedtothelittleroomwiththelead—framedwindowswherehehaddined,andwherethebedwasnowcomfortablymade,satdownontheboxunderthewindow,staredatthemoonrisingontheshiningvicarageroof,andtriedtocollecthisthoughts。Howtheywhirledatfirst!Itwaspastten,andmostofMidhurstwastuckedawayinbed,someoneupthestreetwaslearningtheviolin,atrareintervalsabelatedinhabitanthurriedhomeandwoketheechoes,andacorncrakekeptupabusychurninginthevicaragegarden。Theskywasdeepblue,withastillluminousafterglowalongthehlackedgeofthehill,andthewhitemoonoverhead,saveforacoupleofyellowstars,hadtheskytoherself。
Atfirsthisthoughtswerekinetic,ofdeedsandnotrelationships。Therewasthismalefactor,andhisvictim,andithadfallenonMr。Hoopdrivertotakeahandinthegame。HEwasmarried。Didsheknowhewasmarried?NeverforamomentdidathoughtofevilconcerninghercrossHoopdriver’smind。Simple—
mindedpeopleseequestionsofmoralssomuchbetterthansuperiorpersons——whohavereadandthoughtthemselvescomplextoimpotence。Hehadheardhervoice,seenthefranklightinhereyes,andshehadbeenweeping——thatsufficed。Therightsofthecasehehadn’tproperlygrasped。Buthewould。Andthatsmirking—
—well,swinewasthemildestforhim。Herecalledtheexceedinglyunpleasantincidentoftherailwaybridge。\"Thinwewon’tdetainyer,thenks,\"saidMr。Hoopdriver,aloud,inastrange,unnatural,contemptiblevoice,supposedtorepresentthatofBechamel。\"Oh,theBEGGAR!I’llbelevelwithhimyet。He’safraidofusdetectives——thatI’llSWEAR。\"(IfMrs。Wardorshouldchancetobeontheothersideofthedoorwithinearshot,wellandgood。)
Foraspacehemeditatedchastisementsandrevenges,physicalimpossibilitiesforthemostpart,——BechamelstaggeringheadlongfromtheimpactofMr。Hoopdriver’slarge,but,totellthetruth,illsupportedfist,Bechamel’sfivefeetnineofheightliftedfromthegroundandquiveringunderavigorouslyappliedhorsewhip。Sopleasantwassuchdreaming,thatMr。Hoopdriver’speakedfaceunderthemoonlightwastransfigured。Onemighthavepairedhimwiththatwell—knownanduniversallyadmiredtriumph,’TheSoul’sAwakening,’sosweetwashisecstasy。Andpresentlywithhisthirstforrevengegluttedbysixorsevenviolentassaults,aduelandtwovigorousmurders,hismindcameroundtotheYoungLadyinGreyagain。
Shewasapluckyonetoo。HewentovertheincidentthebarmaidattheAngelhaddescribedtohim。Histhoughtsceasedtobeatorrent,smootheddowntoamirrorinwhichshewasreflectedwithinfiniteclearnessanddetail。He’dnevermetanythinglikeherbefore。Fancythatbolsterofabarmaidbeingdressedinthatway!Hewhuffedacontemptuouslaugh。Hecomparedhercolour,hervigour,hervoice,withtheYoungLadiesinBusinesswithwhomhislothadbeencast。Evenintearsshewasbeautiful,morebeautifulindeedtohim,foritmadeherseemsofterandweaker,moreaccessible。Andsuchweepingashehadseenbeforehadbeensomuchamatterofdampwhitefaces,rednoses,andhaircomingoutofcurl。Yourdraper’sassistantbecomessomethingofajudgeofweeping,becauseweepingisthecustomofallYoungLadiesinBusiness,whenforanyreasontheirservicesaredispensedwith。
Shecouldweep——and(byGosh!)shecouldsmile。HEknewthat,andrevertingtoactingabruptly,hesmiledconfidentiallyatthepuckeredpallorofthemoon。
ItisdifficulttosayhowlongMr。Hoopdriver’spensivenesslasted。Itseemedalongtimebeforehisthoughtsofactionreturned。Thenherememberedhewasa’watcher’;thatto—morrowhemustbebusy。Itwouldbeincharactertomakenotes,andhepulledouthislittlenote—book。Withthatinhandhefella—thinkingagain。Wouldthatchaptellherthe’teckswereafterthem?Ifso,wouldshebeasanxioustogetawayasHEwas?Hemustbeonthealert。Ifpossiblehemustspeaktoher。Justasignificantword,\"Yourfriend——trustme!\"——Itoccurredtohimthatto—morrowthesefugitivesmightriseearlytoescape。Atthathethoughtofthetimeandfounditwashalf—pasteleven。
\"Lord!\"saidhe,\"ImustseethatIwake。\"Heyawnedandrose。
Theblindwasup,andhepulledbackthelittlechintzcurtainstoletthesunlightstrikeacrosstothebed,hunghiswatchwithingoodviewofhispillow,onanailthatsupportedakettle—holder,andsatdownonhisbedtoundress。Helayawakeforalittlewhilethinkingofthewonderfulpossibilitiesofthemorrow,andthencehepassedgloriouslyintothewonderlandofdreams。