第6章

Hoopdriverdrewhiswatchhastily。\"Isay,\"saidMr。Hoopdriver,showingittoher,\"don’tyouthinkweoughttobegettingon?\"

Hisfacewasflushed,hisearsbrightred。Sheascribedhisconfusiontomodesty。Herosewithalionaddedtotheburthensofhisconscience,andheldouthishandtoassisther。TheywalkeddownintoCoshamagain,resumedtheirmachines,andwentonataleisurelypacealongthenorthernshoreofthebigharbour。ButMr。Hoopdriverwasnolongerhappy。Thishorrible,thisfulsomelie,stuckinhismemory。WhyHADhedoneit?ShedidnotaskforanymoreSouthAfricanstories,happily——atleastuntilPorchesterwasreached——buttalkedinsteadofLivingOne’sOwnLife,andhowcustomhungonpeoplelikechains。Shetalkedwonderfully,andsetHoopdriver’smindfermenting。BytheCastle,Mr。Hoopdrivercaughtseveralcrabsinlittleshorepools。AtFarehamtheystoppedforasecondtea,andlefttheplacetowardsthehourofsunset,undersuchinvigoratingcircumstancesasyoushallinduecoursehear。

THERESCUEEXPEDITION

XXX

Andnowtotellofthoseenergeticchevaliers,Widgery,Dangle,andPhipps,andofthatdistressedbeauty,’ThomasPlantagenet,’

wellknowninsociety,sotheparagraphssaid,asMrs。Milton。WeleftthematMidhurststation,ifIrememberrightly,waiting,inastateoffineemotion,fortheChichestertrain。ItwasclearlyunderstoodbytheentireRescuePartythatMrs。Miltonwasbearingupbravelyagainstalmostoverwhelminggrief。Thethreegentlemenoutdidoneanotherinsympatheticexpedients;theywatchedhergravelyalmosttenderly。ThesubstantialWidgerytuggedathismoustache,andlookedhisunspeakablefeelingsatherwiththosedog—like,browneyesofhis;theslenderDangletuggedatHISmoustache,anddidwhathecouldwithunsympatheticgreyones。Phipps,unhappily,hadnomoustachetorunanyriskswith,sohefoldedhisarmsandtalkedinabrave,indifferent,bearing—uptoneabouttheLondon,Brighton,andSouthCoastRailway,justtocheerthepoorwomanupalittle。AndevenMrs。

Miltonreallyfeltthatexaltedmelancholytotheverybottomofherheart,andtriedtoshowitinadozenlittle,delicate,feminineways。

\"ThereisnothingtodountilwegettoChichester,\"saidDangle。

\"Nothing。\"

\"Nothing,\"saidWidgery,andasideinherear:\"Youreallyatescarcelyanything,youknow。\"

\"Theirtrainsarealwayslate,\"saidPhipps,withhisfingersalongtheedgeofhiscollar。Dangle,youmustunderstand,wasasub—editorandreviewer,andhispridewastobeThomasPlantagenet’sintellectualcompanion。Widgery,thebigman,wasmanagerofabankandamightygolfer,andhisconceptionofhisrelationstohernevercameintohismindwithoutthosecharmingoldlines,\"Douglas,Douglas,tenderandtrue,\"fallingharduponitsheels。HisnamewasDouglas—DouglasWidgery。AndPhipps,Phippswasamedicalstudentstill,andhefeltthathelaidhisheartatherfeet,theheartofamanoftheworld。Shewaskindtothemallinherway,andinsistedontheirbeingfriendstogether,inspiteofadispositiontoreciprocalcriticismtheydisplayed。DanglethoughtWidgeryaPhilistine,appreciatingbutcoarselythemeritsof\"ASoulUntrammelled,\"andWidgerythoughtDanglelacked,humanity——wouldtalkinsincerelytosayacleverthing。BothDangleandWidgerythoughtPhippsabitofacub,andPhippsthoughtbothDangleandWidgeryacoupleofThunderingBounders。

\"TheywouldhavegottoChichesterintimeforlunch,\"saidDangle,inthetrain。\"After,perhaps。Andthere’snosufficientplaceintheroad。Sosoonaswegetthere,Phippsmustinquireatthechiefhotelstoseeifanyoneansweringtoherdescriptionhaslunchedthere。\"

\"Oh,I’LLinquire,\"saidPhipps。\"Willingly。IsupposeyouandWidgerywilljusthangabout——\"

HesawanexpressionofpainonMrs。Milton’sgentleface,andstoppedabruptly。

\"No,\"saidDangle,\"weshan’tHANGABOUT,asyouputit。TherearetwoplacesinChichesterwheretouristsmightgo——thecathedralandaremarkablyfinemuseum。Ishallgotothecathedralandmakeaninquiryorso,whileWidgery——\"

\"Themuseum。Verywell。Andafterthatthere’salittlethingortwoI’vethoughtofmyself,\"saidWidgery。

TobeginwiththeytookMrs。MiltoninakindofprocessiontotheRedHotelandestablishedhertherewithsometea。\"Youaresokindtome,\"shesaid。\"Allofyou。\"Theysignifiedthatitwasnothing,anddispersedtotheirinquiries。Bysixtheyreturned,theirzealalittledamped,withoutnews。WidgerycamebackwithDangle。Phippswasthelasttoreturn。\"You’requitesure,\"saidWidgery,thatthereisn’tanyflawinthatinferenceofyours?\"

\"Quite,\"saidDangle,rathershortly。

\"Ofcourse,\"saidWidgery,\"theirstartingfromMidhurstontheChichesterroaddoesn’tabsolutelybindthemnottochangetheirminds。\"

\"Mydearfellow!——Itdoes。Reallyitdoes。Youmustallowmetohaveenoughintelligencetothinkofcross—roads。Reallyyoumust。Therearen’tanycross—roadstotemptthem。Wouldtheyturnasidehere?No。Wouldtheyturnthere?Manymorethingsareinevitablethanyoufancy。\"

\"Weshallseeatonce,\"saidWidgery,atthewindow。\"HerecomesPhipps。Formyownpart——\"

\"Phipps!\"saidMrs。Milton。\"Ishehurrying?Doeshelook——\"Sheroseinhereagerness,bitinghertremblinglip,andwenttowardsthewindow。

\"Nonews,\"saidPhipps,entering。

\"Ah!\"saidWidgery。

\"None?\"saidDangle。

\"Well,\"saidPhipps。\"Onefellowhadgotholdofaqueerstoryofamaninbicyclingclothes,whowasaskingthesamequestionaboutthistimeyesterday。\"

\"Whatquestion?\"saidMrs。Milton,intheshadowofthewindow。

Shespokeinalowvoice,almostawhisper。

\"Why——Haveyouseenayoungladyinagreybicyclingcostume?\"

Danglecaughtathislowerlip。\"What’sthat?\"hesaid。

\"Yesterday!Amanaskingafterherthen!WhatcanTHATmean?\"

\"Heavenknows,\"saidPhipps,sittingdownwearily。\"You’dbetterinfer。\"

\"Whatkindofman?\"saidDangle。

\"HowshouldIknow?——inbicyclingcostume,thefellowsaid。\"

\"Butwhatheight?——Whatcomplexion?\"

\"Didn’task,\"saidPhipps。\"DIDN’TASK!Nonsense,\"saidDangle。

\"Askhimyourself,\"saidPhipps。\"He’sanostlerchapintheWhiteHart,——short,thick—setfellow,witharedfaceandacrustymanner。Leaningupagainstthestabledoor。Smellsofwhiskey。Goandaskhim。\"

\"Ofcourse,\"saidDangle,takinghisstrawhatfromtheshadeoverthestuffedbirdonthechiffonierandturningtowardsthedoor。\"Imighthaveknown。\"

Phipps’mouthopenedandshut。

\"You’retired,I’msure,Mr。Phipps,\"saidthelady,soothingly。

\"Letmeringforsometeaforyou。\"ItsuddenlyoccurredtoPhippsthathehadlapsedalittlefromhischivalry。\"Iwasalittleannoyedatthewayherushedmetodoallthisbusiness,\"

hesaid。\"ButI’ddoahundredtimesasmuchifitwouldbringyouanynearertoher。\"Pause。\"IWOULDlikealittletea。\"

\"Idon’twanttoraiseanyfalsehopes,\"saidWidgery。\"ButIdoNOTbelievetheyevencametoChichester。Dangle’saverycleverfellow,ofcourse,butsometimestheseInferencesofhis——\"

\"Tchak!\"saidPhipps,suddenly。

\"Whatisit?\"saidMrs。Milton。

\"SomethingI’veforgotten。Iwentrightoutfromhere,wenttoeveryotherhotelintheplace,andneverthought——Butnevermind。I’llaskwhenthewaitercomes。\"

\"Youdon’tmean——\"Atap,andthedooropened。\"Tea,m’m?yes,m’m,\"saidthewaiter。

\"Oneminute,\"saidPhipps。\"Wasaladyingrey,acyclinglady——\"

\"Stoppedhereyesterday?Yessir。Stoppedthenight。Withherbrother,sir——ayounggent。\"

\"Brother!\"saidMrs。Milton,inalowtone。\"ThankGod!\"

Thewaiterglancedatherandunderstoodeverything。\"Ayounggent,sir,\"hesaid,\"veryfreewithhismoney。GivethenameofBeaumont。\"Heproceededtosomeramblingparticulars,andwascross—examinedbyWidgeryontheplansoftheyoungcouple。

\"Havant!Where’sHavant?\"saidPhipps。\"Iseemtorememberitsomewhere。\"

\"Wasthemantall?\"saidMrs。Milton,intently,\"distinguishedlooking?withalong,flaxenmoustache?andspokewithadrawl?\"

\"Well,\"saidthewaiter,andthought。\"Hismoustache,m’m,wasscarcelylong——scrubbymore,andyounglooking。\"

\"Aboutthirty—five,hewas?\"

\"No,m’m。Morelikefiveandtwenty。Notthat。\"

\"Dearme!\"saidMrs。Milton,speakinginacurious,hollowvoice,fumblingforhersalts,andshowingthefinestself—control。\"ItmusthavebeenherYOUNGERbrother——musthavebeen。\"

\"Thatwilldo,thankyou,\"saidWidgery,officiously,feelingthatshewouldbeeasierunderthisnewsurpriseifthemanweredismissed。Thewaiterturnedtogo,andalmostcollidedwithDangle,whowasenteringtheroom,pantingexcitedlyandwithapockethandkerchiefheldtohisrighteye。\"Hullo!\"saiddangle。

\"What’sup?\"

\"What’supwithYOU?\"saidPhipps。

\"Nothing——analtercationmerelywiththatdrunkenostlerofyours。Hethoughtitwasaplottoannoyhim——thattheYoungLadyinGreywasmythical。Judgedfromyourmanner。I’vegotapieceofrawmeattokeepoverit。Youhavesomenews,Isee?\"

\"Didthemanhityou?\"askedWidgery。

Mrs。MiltonroseandapproachedDangle。\"CannotIdoanything?\"

Danglewasheroic。\"Onlytellmeyournews,\"hesaid,roundthecornerofthehandkerchief。

\"Itwasinthisway,\"saidPhipps,andexplainedrathersheepishly。Whilehewasdoingso,witharunningfireofcommentaryfromWidgery,thewaiterbroughtinatrayoftea。\"A

timetable,\"saidDangle,promptly,\"forHavant。\"Mrs。Miltonpouredtwocups,andPhippsandDanglepartookinpassoverform。

Theycaughtthetrainbyahair’sbreadth。SotoHavantandinquiries。

DanglewaspuffeduptofindthathisguessofHavantwasright。

InviewofthefactthatbeyondHavanttheSouthamptonroadhasasteephillcontinuouslyontheright—handside,andtheseaontheleft,hehituponamagnificentschemeforheadingtheyoungfolksoff。HeandMrs。MiltonwouldgotoFareham,WidgeryandPhippsshouldalightoneeachattheintermediatestationsofCoshamandPorchester,andcomeonbythenexttrainiftheyhadnonews。Iftheydidnotcomeon,awiretotheFarehampostofficewastoexplainwhy。ItwasNapoleonic,andmorethanconsoledDanglefortheopenderisionoftheHavantstreetboysatthehandkerchiefwhichstillprotectedhisdamagedeye。

Moreover,theschemeansweredtoperfection。Thefugitivesescapedbyahair’sbreadth。TheywereoutsidetheGoldenAnchoratFareham,andpreparingtomount,asMrs。MiltonandDanglecameroundthecornerfromthestation。\"It’sher!\"saidMrs。

Milton,andwouldhavescreamed。\"Hist!\"saidDangle,grippingthelady’sarm,removinghishandkerchiefinhisexcitement,andleavingthepieceofmeatoverhiseye,anextraordinaryappearancewhichseemedunexpectedlytocalmher。\"Becool!\"saidDangle,glaringunderthemeat。\"Theymustnotseeus。Theywillgetawayelse。Werethereflysatthestation?\"TheyoungcouplemountedandvanishedroundthecorneroftheWinchesterroad。Haditnotbeenforthepublicityofthebusiness,Mrs。Miltonwouldhavefainted。\"SAVEHER!\"shesaid。

\"Ah!Aconveyance,\"saidDangle。\"Oneminute。\"

Heleftherinamostpatheticattitude,withherhandpressedtoherheart,andrushedintotheGoldenAnchor。Dogcartintenminutes。Emerged。Themeathadgonenow,andonesawthecoolingpuffinessoverhiseye。\"Iwillconductyoubacktothestation,\"

saidDangle;\"hurrybackhere,andpursuethem。YouwillmeetWidgeryandPhippsandtellthemIaminpursuit。\"

Shewaswhirledbacktotherailwaystationandleftthere,onahard,blistered,woodenseatinthesun。Shefelttiredanddreadfullyruffledandagitatedanddusty。Danglewas,nodoubt,mostenergeticanddevoted;butforakindly,helpfulmannercommendhertoDouglasWidgery。

MeanwhileDangle,hisfacegoldenintheeveningsun,wasdriving(aswellashecould)alarge,blackhorseharnessedintoathingcalledagig,northwestwardtowardsWinchester。Dangle,barringhisswolleneye,wasarefined—lookinglittleman,andbeworeadeerstalkercapandwasdressedindarkgrey。Hisneckwaslongandslender。Perhapsyouknowwhatgigsare,——huge,big,woodenthingsandveryhighandthehorse,too,washugeandbigandhigh,withknobbylegs,alongface,ahardmouth,andawhackingtrickofpacing。Smack,smack,smack,smackitwentalongtheroad,andhardbythechurchitshiedvigorouslyatahoodedperambulator。

ThehistoryoftheRescueExpeditionnowbecomesconfused。ItappearsthatWidgerywasextremelyindignanttofindMrs。MiltonleftaboutupontheFarehamplatform。Thedayhadirritatedhimsomehow,thoughhehadstartedwiththenoblestintentions,andheseemedgladtofindanoutletforjustifiableindignation。

\"He’ssuchaspasmodiccreature,\"saidWidgery。\"Rushingoff!AndIsupposewe’retowaithereuntilhecomesback!It’slikely。

He’ssoegotistical,isDangle。Alwayswantstomismanageeverythinghimself。\"

\"Hemeanstohelpme,\"saidMrs。Milton,alittlereproachfully,touchinghisarm。Widgerywashardlyinthemoodtobemollifiedallatonce。\"HeneednotpreventME,\"hesaid,andstopped。

\"It’snogoodtalking,youknow,andyouaretired。\"

\"Icangoon,\"shesaidbrightly,\"ifonlywefindher。\"\"WhileIwascoolingmyheelsinCoshamIboughtacountymap。\"Heproducedandopenedit。\"Here,yousee,istheroadoutofFareham。\"HeproceededwiththecalmdeliberationofabusinessmantodevelopaproposaloftakingtrainforthwithtoWinchester。\"TheyMUSTbegoingtoWinchester,\"heexplained。Itwasinevitable。To—morrowSunday,Winchesteracathedraltown,roadgoingnowhereelseoftheslightestimportance,\"ButMr。Dangle?\"

\"Hewillsimplygoonuntilhehastopasssomething,andthenhewillbreakhisneck。IhaveseenDangledrivebefore。It’sscarcelylikelyadog—cart,especiallyahireddog—cart,willovertakebicyclesinthecooloftheevening。Relyuponme,Mrs。

Milton——\"

\"Iaminyourhands,\"shesaid,withpatheticlittleness,lookingupathim,andforthemomentheforgottheexasperationoftheday。

Phipps,duringthisconversation,hadstoodinasomewhatdepressedattitude,leaningonhisstick,feelinghiscollar,andlookingfromonespeakertotheother。TheideaofleavingDanglebehindseemedtohimanexcellentone。\"Wemightleaveamessageattheplacewherehegotthedog—cart,\"hesuggested,whenhesawtheireyesmeeting。Therewasacheerfulalacrityaboutallthreeattheproposal。

ButtheynevergotbeyondBotley。Forevenastheirtrainranintothestation,amightyrumblingwasheard,therewasashoutingoverhead,theguardstoodastonishedontheplatform,andPhipps,thrustinghisheadoutofthewindow,cried,\"Therehegoes!\"andsprangoutofthecarriage。Mrs。Milton,followinginalarm,justsawit。FromWidgeryitwashidden。Botleystationliesinacutting,overheadwastheroadway,andacrossthelemonyellowsandflushedpinksofthesunset,therewhirledagreatblackmass,ahorselikealong—nosedchessknight,theupperworksofagig,andDangleintransitfromfronttoback。A

monstrousshadowapedhimacrossthecutting。Itwastheeventofasecond。Dangleseemedtojump,hangintheairmomentarily,andvanish,andafteramoment’spausecameaheart—rendingsmash。

Thentwoblackheadsrunningswiftly。

\"Bettergetout,\"saidPhippstoMrs。Milton,whostoodfascinatedinthedoorway。

Inanothermomentallthreewerehurryingupthesteps。TheyfoundDangle,hatless,standingupwithcuthandsextended,havinghishandsbrushedbyanofficioussmallboy。Abroad,uglyroadrandownhillinalongvista,andinthedistancewasalittlegroupofBotleyinhabitantsholdingthebig,blackhorse。

Evenatthatdistancetheycouldseetheexpressionofconsciousprideonthemonster’svisage。Itwasaswooden—facedahorseasyoucanimagine。ThebeastsintheTowerofLondon,onwhichthemeninarmourareperched,aretheonlyhorsesIhaveeverseenatalllikeit。However,wearenotconcernednowwiththehorse,butwithDangle。\"Hurt?\"askedPhipps,eagerly,leading。

\"Mr。Dangle!\"criedMrs。Milton,claspingherhands。

\"Hullo!\"saidDangle,notsurprisedintheslightest。\"Gladyou’vecome。Imaywantyou。BitofamessI’min——eigh?ButI’vecaught’em。AttheveryplaceIexpected,too。\"

\"Caughtthem!\"saidWidgery。Wherearethey?\"

\"Upthere,\"hesaid,withabackwardmotionofhishead。\"Aboutamileupthehill。Ileft’em。IHADto。\"

\"Idon’tunderstand,\"saidMrs。Milton,withthatrapt,painfullookagain。\"HaveyoufoundJessie?\"

\"Ihave。IwishIcouldwashthegraveloutofmyhandssomewhere。Itwaslikethis,youknow。Cameonthemsuddenlyroundacorner。Horseshiedatthebicycles。Theyweresittingbytheroadsidebotanisingflowers。Ijusthadtimetoshout,’JessieMilton,we’vebeenlookingforyou,’andthenthatconfoundedbrutebolted。Ididn’tdareturnround。Ihadallmyworktodotosavemyselfbeingturnedover,asitwas——solongasIdid,Imean。Ijustshouted,’Returntoyourfriends。Allwillbeforgiven。’AndoffIcame,clatter,clatter。Whethertheyheard——\"

\"TAKEMETOHER,\"saidMrs。Milton,withintensity,turningtowardsWidgery。

\"Certainly,\"saidWidgery,suddenlybecomingactive。\"Howfarisit,Dangle?\"

\"Mileandahalfortwomiles。Iwasdeterminedtofindthem,youknow。Isaythough——Lookatmyhands!ButIbegyourpardon,Mrs。

Milton。\"HeturnedtoPhipps。\"Phipps,Isay,whereshallIwashthegravelout?Andhavealookatmyknee?\"

\"There’sthestation,\"saidPhipps,becominghelpful。Danglemadeastep,andadamagedkneebecameevident。\"Takemyarm,\"saidPhipps。

\"Wherecanwegetaconveyance?\"askedWidgeryoftwosmallboys。

Thetwosmallboysfailedtounderstand。Theylookedatoneanother。

\"There’snotacab,notago—cart,insight,\"saidWidgery。\"It’sacaseofahorse,ahorse,mykingdomforahorse。\"

\"There’saharseallright,\"saidoneofthesmallboyswithamovementofthehead。

\"Don’tyouknowwherewecanhiretraps?askedWidgery。\"Oracartor——anything?\"askedMrs。Milton。

\"JohnOoker’sgartacart,butnoonecan’t’ire’n,\"saidthelargerofthesmallboys,partiallyavertinghisfaceandstaringdowntheroadandmakingasongofit。\"Andso’smyfeyther,for’slegusbroke。\"

\"Notacarteven!Evidently。Whatshallwedo?\"

ItoccurredtoMrs。MiltonthatifWidgerywasthemanforcourtlydevotion,Danglewasinfinitelyreadierofresource。\"I

suppose——\"shesaid,timidly。\"PerhapsifyouweretoaskMr。

Dangle——\"

AndthenallthegiltcameoffWidgery。Heansweredquiterudely。

\"ConfoundDangle!Hasn’themessedusupenough?Hemustneedsdriveaftertheminatraptotellthemwe’recoming,andnowyouwantmetoaskhim——\"

Herbeautifulblueeyeswerefilledwithtears。Hestoppedabruptly。\"I’llgoandaskDangle,\"hesaid,shortly。\"Ifyouwishit。\"Andwentstridingintothestationanddownthesteps,leavingherintheroadunderthequietinspectionofthetwolittleboys,andwithakindofballadrefrainrunningthroughherhead,\"WherearetheKnightsoftheOldenTime?\"andfeelingtiredtodeathandhungryanddustyandoutofcurl,and,inshort,amartyrwoman。

XXXI

Itgoestomyhearttotelloftheendofthatday,howthefugitivesvanishedintoImmensity;howtherewerenomoretrainshowBotleystaredunsympatheticallywithapalpabledispositiontoderision,denyingconveyanceshowthelandlordoftheHeronwassuspicious,howthenextdaywasSunday,andthehotsummer’sdayhadcrumpledthecollarofPhippsandstainedtheskirtsofMrs。Milton,anddimmedtheradiantemotionsofthewholeparty。

Dangle,withsticking—plasterandablackeye,felttheabsurdityoftheposeoftheWoundedKnight,andabandoneditafterthefaintestefforts。Recriminationsnever,perhaps,heldtheforegroundofthetalk,buttheyplayedlikesummerlightningontheedgeoftheconversation。Anddeepintheheartsofallwasagallingsenseoftheridiculous。Jessie,theythought,wasmosttoblame。Apparently,too,theworst,whichwouldhavemadethewholebusinesstragic,wasnothappening。Herewasayoungwoman——youngwomandoIsay?ameregirl!——hadchosentoleaveacomfortablehomeinSurbiton,andallthedelightsofarefinedandintellectualcircle,andhadrushedoff,trailingusafterher,posinghard,mutuallyjealous,andnowtiredandweather—worn,toflickusoffatlast,meremudfromherwheel,intothisdetestablevillagebeer—houseonaSaturdaynight!Andshehaddoneit,notforLoveandPassion,whichareseriousexcusesonemayrecogniseevenifonemustreprobate,butjustforaFreak,justforafantasticIdea;fornothing,infact,buttheoutragingofCommonSense。Yetwithal,suchwasourrestraint,thatwetalkedofherstillasonemuchmisguided,asonewhoburtheneduswithanxiety,asalambastray,andMrs。

Miltonhavingeaten,continuedtoshowthefinestfeelingsonthematter。

Shesat,Imaymention,inthecushionedbasket—chair,theonlycomfortablechairintheroom,andwesatonincrediblyhard,horsehairthingshavingantimacassarstiedtotheirbacksbymeansoflemon—colouredbows。ItwasdifferentfromthosedearoldtalksatSurbiton,somehow。Shesatfacingthewindow,whichwasopen(thenightwassotranquilandwarm),andthedimlight—

—forwedidnotusethelamp——suitedheradmirably。Shetalkedinavoicethattoldyoushewastired,andsheseemedinclinedtostateacaseagainstherselfinthematterof\"ASoulUntrammelled。\"Itwassuchaneveningasmightliveinasympatheticmemoir,butitwasalittledullwhileitlasted。

\"Ifeel,\"shesaid,\"thatIamtoblame。IhaveDeveloped。Thatfirstbookofmine——Idonotgobackuponawordofit,mind,butithasbeenmisunderstood,misapplied。\"

\"Ithas,\"saidWidgery,tryingtolooksodeeplysympatheticastobevisibleinthedark。\"Deliberatelymisunderstood。\"

\"Don’tsaythat,\"saidthelady。\"Notdeliberately。Itryandthinkthatcriticsarehonest。Aftertheirlights。Iwasnotthinkingofcritics。Butshe——Imean——\"Shepaused,aninterrogation。

\"Itispossible,\"saidDangle,scrutinisinghissticking—plaster。

\"Iwriteabookandstateacase。IwantpeopletoTHINKasI

recommend,nottoDOasIrecommend。ItisjustTeaching。OnlyI

makeitintoastory。IwanttoTeachnewIdeas,newLessons,topromulgateIdeas。ThenwhentheIdeashavebeenspreadabroad——Thingswillcomeabout。Onlynowitismadnesstoflyinthefaceoftheestablishedorder。BernardShaw,youknow,hasexplainedthatwithregardtoSocialism。Weallknowthattoearnallyouconsumeisright,andthatlivingoninvestedcapitaliswrong。Onlywecannotbeginwhilewearesofew。ItisThoseOthers。\"

\"Precisely,\"saidWidgery。\"ItisThoseOthers。Theymustbeginfirst。\"

\"Andmeanwhileyougoonbanking——\"

\"IfIdidn’t,someoneelsewould。\"

\"AndIliveonMr。Milton’sLotionwhileItrytogainafootinginLiterature。\"

\"TRY!\"saidPhipps。\"YouHAVEdoneso。\"And,\"That’sdifferent,\"

saidDangle,atthesametime。

\"Youaresokindtome。Butinthismatter。OfcourseGeorginaGriffithsinmybooklivedaloneinaflatinParisandwenttolifeclassesandhadmenvisitors,butthenshewasovertwenty—one。\"

\"Jessicaisonlyseventeen,andgirlishforthat,\"saidDangle。

\"Italterseverything。Thatchild!Itisdifferentwithawoman。

AndGeorginaGriffithsneverflauntedherfreedom——onabicycle,incountryplaces。Inthiscountry。Whereeveryoneissoparticular。Fancy,SLEEPINGawayfromhome。It’sdreadful——Ifitgetsaboutitspellsruinforher。\"

\"Ruin,\"saidWidgery。

\"Nomanwouldmarryagirllikethat,\"saidPhipps。

\"Itmustbehushedup,\"saidDangle。

\"Italwaysseemstomethatlifeismadeupofindividuals,ofindividualcases。Wemustweigheachpersonagainsthisorhercircumstances。Generalrulesdon’tapply——\"

\"Ioftenfeeltheforceofthat,\"saidWidgery。\"Thosearemyrules。Ofcoursemybooks——\"

\"It’sdifferent,altogetherdifferent,\"saidDangle。\"Anoveldealswithtypicalcases。\"

\"Andlifeisnottypical,\"saidWidgery,withimmenseprofundity。

Thensuddenly,unintentionally,beinghimselfmostsurprisedandshockedofanyintheroom,Phippsyawned。Thefailingwasinfectious,andthegatheringhaving,asyoucaneasilyunderstand,talkeditselfweary,dispersedontrivialpretences。

Butnottosleepimmediately。DirectlyDanglewasalonehebegan,withinfinitedisgust,toscrutinisehisdarklingeye,forhewasaneat—mindedlittlemaninspiteofhisenergy。Thewholebusiness——sonearacapture——washorriblyvexatious。Phippssatonhisbedforsometimeexamining,withequaldisgust,acollarhewouldhavethoughtincredibleforSundaytwenty—fourhoursbefore。Mrs。Miltonfella—musingonthemortalityofevenbig,fatmenwithdog—likeeyes,andWidgerywasunhappybecausehehadbeensocrosstoheratthestation,andbecausesofarhedidnotfeelthathehadscoredoverDangle。AlsohewasangrywithDangle。Andallfourofthem,beingsoulslivingverymuchupontheappearancesofthings,hadapainful,mentalmiddledistanceofBotleyderisiveandsuspicious,andaremoterbackgroundofLondonhumorous,andSurbitonspeculative。Weretheyreally,afterall,behavingabsurdly?

MR。HOOPDRIVER,KNIGHTERRANT

XXXII

AsMr。Danglebadwitnessed,thefugitiveshadbeenleftbyhimbythesideoftheroadabouttwomilesfromBotley。BeforeMr。

Dangle’sappearance,Mr。Hoopdriverhadbeenlearningwithgreatinterestthatmereroadsideflowershadnames,——star—flowers,wind—stars,St。John’swort,willowherb,lordsandladies,bachelor’sbuttons,——mostcuriousnames,someofthem。\"TheflowersarealldifferentinSouthAfrica,y’know,\"hewasexplainingwithahappyflukeofhisimaginationtoaccountforhisignorance。Thensuddenly,heraldedbyclatteringsoundsandagrideofwheels,Danglehadflaredandthunderedacrossthetranquillityofthesummerevening;Dangle,swayingandgesticulatingbehindacorybanticblackhorse,hadhailedJessiebyhername,hadbackedtowardsthehedgefornoostensiblereason,andvanishedtotheaccomplishmentoftheFatethathadbeenwrittendownforhimfromtheverybeginningofthings。

JessieandHoopdriverhadscarcelytimetostandupandseizetheirmachines,beforethistumultuous,thisswiftandwonderfulpassingofDanglewasachieved。Hewentfromsidetosideoftheroad,——worseeventhantheridingforthofMr。Hoopdriveritwas,——andvanishedroundthecorner。

\"Heknewmyname,\"saidJessie。\"Yes——itwasMr。Dangle。\"

\"Thatwasourbicyclesdidthat,\"saidMr。Hoopdriversimultaneously,andspeakingwithacertaincomplacentconcern。

\"Ihopehewon’tgethurt。\"

\"ThatwasMr。Dangle,\"repeatedJessie,andMr。Hoopdriverheardthistime,withaviolentstart。Hiseyebrowswentupspasmodically。

\"What!someoneyouknow?\"

\"Yes。\"

\"Lord!\"

\"Hewaslookingforme,\"saidJessie。\"Icouldsee。Hebegantocalltomebeforethehorseshied。Mystepmotherhassenthim。\"

Mr。Hoopdriverwishedhehadreturnedthebicycleafterall,forhisideaswerestillalittlehazyaboutBechamelandMrs。

Milton。HonestyISthebestpolicy——often,hethought。Heturnedhisheadthiswayandthat。Hebecameactive。\"Afterus,eigh?

Thenhe’llcomeback。He’sgonedownthathill,andhewon’tbeabletopullupforabit,I’mcertain。\"

Jessie,hesaw,hadwheeledhermachineintotheroadandwasmounting。StillstaringatthecornerthathadswallowedupDangle,Hoopdriverfollowedsuit。Andso,justasthesunwassetting,theybegananotherflighttogether,——ridingnowtowardsBishopsWaltham,withMr。Hoopdriverinthepostofdanger——therear——everandagainlookingoverhisshoulderandswervingdangerouslyashedidso。OccasionallyJessiehadtoslackenherpace。Hebreathedheavily,andhatedhimselfbecausehismouthfellopen,Afternearlyanhour’shardriding,theyfoundthemselvesuncaughtatWinchester。NotatraceofDanglenoranyotherdangerwasvisibleastheyrodeintothedusky,yellow—litstreet。ThoughthebatshadbeenflutteringbehindthehedgesandtheeveningstarwasbrightwhiletheywerestilltwomilesfromWinchester,Mr。Hoopdriverpointedoutthedangersofstoppinginsuchanobviousabiding—place,andgentlybutfirmlyinsisteduponreplenishingthelampsandridingontowardsSalisbury。FromWinchester,roadsbranchineverydirection,andtoturnabruptlywestwardwasclearlythewaytothrowoffthechase。AsHoopdriversawthemoonrisingbroadandyellowthroughthetwilight,hethoughtheshouldrevivetheeffectofthatrideoutofBognor;butsomehow,albeitthemoonandalltheatmosphericeffectswerethesame,theemotionsweredifferent。Theyrodeinabsolutesilence,andslowlyaftertheyhadclearedtheoutskirtsofWinchester。Bothofthemwerenownearlytiredout,——thelevelwastedious,andevenalittlehillaburden;andsoitcameaboutthatinthehamletofWallenstocktheywerebeguiledtostopandaskforaccommodationinanexceptionallyprosperouslookingvillageinn。Aplausiblelandladyrosetotheoccasion。

Now,astheypassedintotheroomwheretheirsupperswereprepared,Mr。Hoopdrivercaughtaglimpsethroughadoorajarandfloatinginareekofsmoke,ofthreeandahalffaces——fortheedgeofthedoorcutonedown——andanAmericancloth—coveredtablewithseveralglassesandatankard。Andhealsoheardaremark。Inthesecondbeforeheheardthatremark,Mr。Hoopdriverhadbeenaproudandhappyman,toparticularize,abaronet’sheirincognito。Hehadsurrenderedtheirbicyclestotheoddmanoftheplacewithinfiniteeasydignity,andhadbowinglyopenedthedoorforJessie。\"Who’sthat,then?\"heimaginedpeoplesaying;andthen,\"Some’nprettywellorf——judgebythebicycles。\"Thentheimaginaryspectatorswouldfalla—talkingofthefashionablenessofbicycling,——howjudgesAndstockbrokersandactressesand,infact,allthebestpeoplerode,andhowthatitwasoftenthefancyofsuchgreatfolktoshunthebighotels,theadulationofurbancrowds,andseek,incognito,thecosyquaintnessesofvillagelife。Then,maybe,theywouldthinkofacertainnamelessairofdistinctionabouttheladywhohadsteppedacrossthedoorway,andaboutthehandsome,flaxen—moustached,blue—eyedCavalierwhohadfollowedherin,andtheywouldlookonetoanother。\"Tellyouwhatitis,\"oneofthevillageelderswouldsay——justastheydoinnovels——voicingthethoughtofall,inalow,impressivetone:\"There’ssuchathinasentertainingbarranetsunawares—nottomentionnohigherthings——\"

Such,Isay,hadbeenthefilmy,delightfulstuffinMr。

Hoopdriver’sheadthemomentbeforeheheardthatremark。Buttheremarktoppledhimheadlong。Whatthepreciseremarkwasneednotconcernus。ItwasacasualpieceofsuchsatireasStrephondelightsin。Shouldyoubecurious,dearlady,astoitsnature,youhavemerelytodressyourselfinareallymoderncyclingcostume,getoneofthefeeblest—lookingofyourmentoescortyou,andrideout,nextSaturdayevening,toanypublichousewherehealthy,homelypeoplegathertogether。ThenyouwillhearquitealotofthekindofthingMr。Hoopdriverheard。More,possibly,thanyouwilldesire。

Theremark,Imustadd,implicatedMr。Hoopdriver。Itindicatedanentiredisbeliefinhissocialstanding。Atablow,itshatteredallthegorgeousimaginativefabrichismindhadbeenrejoicingin。Allthatfoolishhappinessvanishedlikeadream。

Andtherewasnothingtoshowforit,asthereisnothingtoshowforanyspitefulremarkthathaseverbeenmade。Perhapsthemanwhosaidthethinghadagleamofsatisfactionattheideaoftakingacomplacent—lookingfooldownapeg,butitisjustaspossiblehedidnotknowatthetimethathisstrayshothadhit。

Hehadthrownitasaboythrowsastoneatabird。Anditnotonlydemolishedafoolish,happyconceit,butitwounded。IttouchedJessiegrossly。

Shedidnothearit,heconcludedfromhersubsequentbearing;

butduringthesuppertheyhadinthelittleprivatedining—room,thoughshetalkedcheerfully,hewaspreoccupied。Whiffsofindistinctconversation,andnowandthenlaughter,cameinfromtheinnparloiirthroughthepelargoniumsintheopenwindow。

Hoopdriverfeltitmustallbeinthesamestrain,——atherexpenseandhis。Heansweredherabstractedly。Shewastired,shesaid,andpresentlywenttoherroom。Mr。Hoopdriver,inhiscourtlyway,openedthedoorforherandbowedherout。Hestoodlisteningandfearingsomenewoffenceasshewentupstairs,androundthebendwherethebarometerhungbeneaththestuffedbirds。Thenhewentbacktotheroom,andstoodonthehearthrugbeforethe。paperfireplaceornament。\"Cads!\"hesaidinascathingundertone,asafreshburstoflaughtercamefloatingin。Allthroughsupperhehadbeencomposingstingingrepartee,ablisteringspeechofdenunciationtobepresentlydelivered。Hewouldratethemasanoblemanshould:\"CallthemselvesEnglishmen,indeed,andinsultawoman!\"hewouldsay;takethenamesandaddressesperhaps,threatentospeaktotheLordoftheManor,promisetoletthemhearfromhimagain,andsooutwithconsternationinhiswake。Itreallyoughttobedone。

\"Teach’embetter,\"hesaidfiercely,andtweakedhismoustachepainfully。Whatwasit?Herevivedtheobjectionableremarkforhisownexasperation,andthenwentovertheheadsofhisspeechagain。

Hecoughed,madethreestepstowardsthedoor,thenstoppedandwentbacktothehearthrug。Hewouldn’t——afterall。YetwashenotaKnightErrant?Shouldsuchmengounreproved,unchecked,bywanderingbaronetsincognito?Magnanimity?Lookatitinthatway?Churlsbeneathone’snotice?No;merelyacowardlysubterfuge。HeWOULDafterall。

Somethingwithinhimprotestedthathewasahot—headedassevenashewenttowardsthedooragain。Butheonlywentonthemoreresolutely。Hecrossedthehall,bythebar,andenteredtheroomfromwhichtheremarkhadproceeded。Heopenedthedoorabruptlyandstoodscowlingontheminthedoorway。\"You’llonlymakeamessofit,\"remarkedtheinternalsceptic。Therewerefivemenintheroomaltogether:afatperson,withalongpipeandagreatnumberofchins,inanarmchairbythefireplace,whowishedMr。Hoopdriveragoodeveningveryaffably;ayoungfellowsmokingacuttyanddisplayingcrossedlegswithgaiters;alittle,beardedmanwithatoothlesslaugh;amiddle—aged,comfortablemanwithbrighteyes,whoworeavelveteenjacket;

andafairyoungman,verygenteelinayellowish—brownready—madesuitandawhitetie。

\"H’m,\"saidMr。Hoopdriver,lookingverysternandharsh。Andtheninaforbiddingtone,asonewhoconsentedtonoliberties,\"Goodevening。\"

\"Verypleasantdaywe’vebeen’aving,\"saidthefairyoungmanwiththewhitetie。

\"Very,\"saidMr。Hoopdriver,slowly;andtakingabrownarmchair,heplanteditwithgreatdeliberationwherehefacedthefireplace,andsatdown。Let’ssee——howdidthatspeechbegin?

\"Verypleasantroadsabouthere,\"saidthefairyoungmanwiththewhitetie。

\"Very,\"saidMr。Hoopdriver,eyeinghimdarkly。Havetobeginsomehow。\"Theroadsabouthereareallright,andtheweatherabouthereisallright,butwhatI’vecomeinheretosayis——there’ssomedamnedunpleasantpeople——damnedunpleasantpeople!\"

\"Oh!\"saidtheyoungmanwiththegaiters,apparentlymakingamentalinventoryofhispearlbuttonsashespoke。\"How’sthat?\"

Mr。Hoopdriverputhishandsonhiskneesandstuckouthiselbowswithextremeangularity。Inhishearthewasravingathisidioticfollyatthusbeardingtheselions,——indisputablytheyWERElions,——buthehadtogothroughwithitnow。Heavensend,hisbreath,whichwasalreadygettingatriflespasmodic,didnotsuddenlygiveout。Hefixedhiseyeonthefaceofthefatmanwiththechins,andspokeinalow,impressivevoice。\"Icamehere,sir,\"saidMr。Hoopdriver,andpausedtoinflatehischeeks,\"withalady。\"

\"Verynicelady,\"saidthemanwiththegaiters,puttinghisheadononesidetoadmireapearlbuttonthathadbeenhidingbehindthecurvatureofhiscalf。\"Veryniceladyindeed。\"

\"Icamehere,\"saidMr。Hoopdriver,\"withalady。\"

\"Wesawyoudid,blessyou,\"saidthefatmanwiththechins,inacuriouswheezyvoice。\"Idon’tseethere’sanythingsoveryextraordinaryinthat。One’udthinkwehadn’teyes。\"

Mr。Hoopdrivercoughed。\"Icame,here,sir——\"

\"We’ve’eardthat,\"saidthelittlemanwiththebeard,sharplyandwentoffintoanamiablechuckle。\"Weknowitby’art,\"saidthelittleman,elaboratingthepoint。

Mr。Hoopdrivertemporarilylosthisthread。Heglaredmalignantlyatthelittlemanwiththebeard,andtriedtorecoverhisdiscourse。Apause。

\"Youweresaying,\"saidthefairyoungmanwiththewhitetie,speakingverypolitely,\"thatyoucameherewithalady。\"

\"Alady,\"meditatedthegaitergazer。

Themaninvelveteen,whowaslookingfromonespeakertoanotherwithkeen,brighteyes,nowlaughedasthoughapointhadbeenscored,andstimulatedMr。Hoopdrivertospeak,byfixinghimwithanexpectantregard。

\"Somedirtycad,\"saidMr。Hoopdriver,proceedingwithhisdiscourse,andsuddenlygrowingextremelyfierce,\"madearemarkaswewentbythisdoor。\"

\"Steadyon!\"saidtheoldgentlemanwithmanychins。,Steadyon!

Don’tyougoa—callingusnames,please。\"

\"Oneminute!\"saidMr。Hoopdriver。\"Itwasn’tIbegancallingnames。\"(\"Whodid?saidthemanwiththechins。)\"I’mnotcallinganyofyoudirtycads。Don’trunawaywiththatimpression。Onlysomepersoninthisroommadearemarkthatshowedhewasn’tfittowipebootson,and,withallduedeferencetosuchgentlemenasAREgentlemen\"(Mr。Hoopdriverlookedroundformoralsupport),\"Iwanttoknowwhichitwas。\"

\"Meanin’?\"saidthefairyoungmaninthewhitetie。

\"ThatI’mgoingtowipemybootson’imstraightaway,\"saidMr。