第1章

STORYTHEFIRST——PeterHopeplanshisProspectus\"Comein!\"saidPeterHope。

PeterHopewastallandthin,clean—shavenbutforapairofsidewhiskersclose—croppedandterminatingjustbelowtheear,withhairofthekindreferredtobysympatheticbarbersas\"gettingalittlethinonthetop,sir,\"butarrangedwitheconomy,thateverywhereispoverty’struehelpmate。AboutMr。PeterHope’slinen,whichwaswhitethoughsomewhatfrayed,therewasaself—

assertivenessthatinvariablyarrestedtheattentionofeventhemostcasualobserver。Decidedlytherewastoomuchofit——itsostentationaidedandabettedbytheretiringnatureofthecut—

awaycoat,whosechiefaimclearlywastoslipoffanddisappearbehinditsowner’sback。\"I’mapooroldthing,\"itseemedtosay。

\"Idon’tshine——or,rather,Ishinetoomuchamongtheseup—to—dateyoungmodes。Ionlyhamperyou。Youwouldbemuchmorecomfortablewithoutme。\"Topersuadeittoaccompanyhim,itsproprietorhadtoemployforce,keepingfastenedthelowestofitsthreebuttons。Ateverystep,itstruggledforitsliberty。

AnothercharacteristicofPeter’s,linkinghimtothepast,washisblacksilkcravat,securedbyacoupleofgoldpinschainedtogether。Watchinghimashenowsatwriting,hislonglegsencasedintightlystrappedgreytrousering,crossedbeneaththetable,thelamplightfallingonhisfresh—complexionedface,upontheshapelyhandthatsteadiedthehalf—writtensheet,astrangermighthaverubbedhiseyes,wonderingbywhathallucinationhethusfoundhimselfinpresenceseeminglyofsomeyoungbeaubelongingtotheearly’forties;butlookingcloser,wouldhaveseenthemanywrinkles。

\"Comein!\"repeatedMr。PeterHope,raisinghisvoice,butnothiseyes。

Thedooropened,andasmall,whiteface,outofwhichgleamedapairofbright,blackeyes,wasthrustsidewaysintotheroom。

\"Comein!\"repeatedMr。PeterHopeforthethirdtime。\"Whoisit?\"

Ahandnotoverclean,graspingagreasyclothcap,appearedbelowtheface。

\"Notreadyyet,\"saidMr。Hope。\"Sitdownandwait。\"

Thedooropenedwider,andthewholeofthefigureslidinand,closingthedoorbehindit,satitselfdownupontheextremeedgeofthechairnearest。

\"Whichareyou——CentralNewsorCourier?\"demandedMr。PeterHope,butwithoutlookingupfromhiswork。

Thebright,blackeyes,whichhadjustcommencedanexaminationoftheroombyacarefulscrutinyofthesmoke—grimedceiling,descendedandfixedthemselvesupontheoneclearlydefinedbaldpatchuponhisheadthat,hadhebeenawareofit,wouldhavetroubledMr。PeterHope。Butthefull,redlipsbeneaththeturned—upnoseremainedmotionless。

ThathehadreceivednoanswertohisquestionappearedtohaveescapedtheattentionofMr。PeterHope。Thethin,whitehandmovedsteadilytoandfroacrossthepaper。Threemoresheetswereaddedtothoseuponthefloor。ThenMr。PeterHopepushedbackhischairandturnedhisgazeforthefirsttimeuponhisvisitor。

ToPeterHope,hackjournalist,longfamiliarwiththegenusPrinter’sDevil,smallwhitefaces,tangledhair,dirtyhands,andgreasycapswerecommonobjectsintheneighbourhoodofthatburiedrivulet,theFleet。Butthiswasanewspecies。PeterHopesoughthisspectacles,foundthemaftersometroubleunderaheapofnewspapers,adjustedthemuponhishigh,archednose,leantforward,andlookedlongandupanddown。

\"Godblessmysoul!\"saidMr。PeterHope。\"Whatisit?\"

Thefigurerosetoitsfullheightoffivefootoneandcameforwardslowly。

Overatight—fittinggaribaldiofbluesilk,excessivelydecollete,itworewhatoncehadbeenaboy’spepper—and—saltjacket。A

worstedcomforterwoundroundtheneckstillleftawideexpanseofthroatshowingabovethegaribaldi。Belowthejacketfellalong,blackskirt,thetrainofwhichhadbeenloopedupaboutthewaistandfastenedwithacricket—belt。

\"Whoareyou?Whatdoyouwant?\"askedMr。PeterHope。

Foranswer,thefigure,passingthegreasycapintoitsotherhand,stoopeddownand,seizingthefrontofthelongskirt,begantohaulitup。

\"Don’tdothat!\"saidMr。PeterHope。\"Isay,youknow,you——\"

Butbythistimetheskirthadpracticallydisappeared,leavingtoviewapairofmuch—patchedtrousers,divingintotheright—handpocketofwhichthedirtyhanddrewforthafoldedpaper,which,havingopenedandsmoothedout,itlaiduponthedesk。

Mr。PeterHopepusheduphisspectaclestilltheyrestedonhiseyebrows,andreadaloud——\"’SteakandKidneyPie,4d。;Do。(largesize),6d。;BoiledMutton——’\"

\"That’swhereI’vebeenforthelasttwoweeks,\"saidthefigure,——

\"Hammond’sEatingHouse!\"

Thelistenernotedwithsurprisethatthevoice——thoughittoldhimasplainlyasifhehadrisenanddrawnasidetheredrepcurtains,thatoutsideinGoughSquaretheyellowfoglayliketheghostofadeadsea——betrayednoCockneyaccent,foundnodifficultywithitsaitches。

\"YouaskforEmma。She’llsayagoodwordforme。Shetoldmeso。\"

\"But,mygood——\"Mr。PeterHope,checkinghimself,soughtagaintheassistanceofhisglasses。Theglassesbeingunabletodecidethepoint,theirownerhadtoputthequestionbluntly:

\"Areyouaboyoragirl?\"

\"Idunno。\"

\"Youdon’tknow!\"

\"What’sthedifference?\"

Mr。PeterHopestoodup,andtakingthestrangefigurebytheshoulders,turneditroundslowlytwice,apparentlyundertheimpressionthattheprocessmightaffordtohimsomeclue。Butitdidnot。

\"Whatisyourname?\"

\"Tommy。\"

\"Tommywhat?\"

\"Anythingyoulike。Idunno。I’vehadsomanyof’em。\"

\"Whatdoyouwant?Whathaveyoucomefor?\"

\"You’reMr。Hope,ain’tyou,secondfloor,16,GoughSquare?\"

\"Thatismyname。\"

\"Youwantsomebodytodoforyou?\"

\"Youmeanahousekeeper!\"

\"Didn’tsayanythingabouthousekeeper。Saidyouwantedsomebodytodoforyou——cookandcleantheplaceup。Heard’emtalkingaboutitintheshopthisafternoon。OldladyingreenbonnetwasaskingMotherHammondifsheknewofanyone。\"

\"Mrs。Postwhistle——yes,Ididaskhertolookoutforsomeoneforme。Why,doyouknowofanyone?Haveyoubeensentbyanybody?\"

\"Youdon’twantanythingtoo’laborateinthewayo’cooking?Youwasasimpleoldchap,sotheysaid;notmuchtrouble。\"

\"No——no。Idon’twantmuch——someonecleanandrespectable。Butwhycouldn’tshecomeherself?Whoisit?\"

\"Well,what’swrongaboutme?\"

\"Ibegyourpardon,\"saidMr。PeterHope。

\"Whywon’tIdo?Icanmakebedsandcleanrooms——allthatsorto’

thing。Asforcooking,I’vegotanaturalaptitudeforit。YouaskEmma;she’lltellyou。Youdon’twantnothing’laborate?\"

\"Elizabeth,\"saidMr。PeterHope,ashecrossedand,takingupthepoker,proceededtostirthefire,\"areweawakeorasleep?\"

Elizabeththusappealedto,raisedherselfonherhindlegsanddugherclawsintohermaster’sthigh。Mr。Hope’strousersbeingthin,itwasthemostpracticalanswershecouldhavegivenhim。

\"Donealotoflookingafterotherpeoplefortheirbenefit,\"

continuedTommy。\"Don’tseewhyIshouldn’tdoitformyown。\"

\"Mydear——IdowishIknewwhetheryouwereaboyoragirl。DoyouseriouslysuggestthatIshouldengageyouasmyhousekeeper?\"

askedMr。PeterHope,nowuprightwithhisbacktothefire。

\"I’ddoforyouallright,\"persistedTommy。\"Yougivememygrubandashake—downand,say,sixpenceaweek,andI’llgrumblelessthanmostof’em。\"

\"Don’tberidiculous,\"saidMr。PeterHope。

\"Youwon’ttryme?\"

\"Ofcoursenot;youmustbemad。\"

\"Allright。Noharmdone。\"Thedirtyhandreachedouttowardsthedesk,andpossessingitselfagainofHammond’sBillofFare,commencedtheoperationsnecessaryforbearingitawayinsafety。

\"Here’sashillingforyou,\"saidMr。PeterHope。

\"Rathernot,\"saidTommy。\"Thanksallthesame。\"

\"Nonsense!\"saidMr。PeterHope。

\"Rathernot,\"repeatedTommy。\"Neverknowwherethatsortofthingmayleadyouto。\"

\"Allright,\"saidMr。PeterHope,replacingthecoininhispocket。

\"Don’t!\"

Thefiguremovedtowardsthedoor。

\"Waitaminute。Waitaminute,\"saidMr。PeterHopeirritably。

Thefigure,withitshanduponthedoor,stoodstill。

\"AreyougoingbacktoHammond’s?\"

\"No。I’vefinishedthere。Onlytookmeonforacoupleo’weeks,whileoneofthegalswasill。Shecamebackthismorning。\"

\"Whoareyourpeople?\"

Tommyseemedpuzzled。\"Whatd’yemean?\"

\"Well,whomdoyoulivewith?\"

\"Nobody。\"

\"You’vegotnobodytolookafteryou——totakecareofyou?\"

\"Takecareofme!D’yethinkI’mabloomin’kid?\"

\"Thenwhereareyougoingtonow?\"

\"Going?Out。\"

PeterHope’sirritationwasgrowing。

\"Imean,whereareyougoingtosleep?Gotanymoneyforalodging?\"

\"Yes,I’vegotsomemoney,\"answeredTommy。\"ButIdon’tthinkmucho’lodgings。Notaparticularniceclassasyoumeetthere。

Ishallsleepoutto—night。’Tain’training。\"

Elizabethutteredapiercingcry。

\"Servesyouright!\"growledPetersavagely。\"Howcananyonehelptreadingonyouwhenyouwillgetjustbetweenone’slegs。Toldyouofitahundredtimes。\"

ThetruthofthematterwasthatPeterwasbecomingveryangrywithhimself。Fornoreasonwhatever,ashetoldhimself,hismemorywouldpersistinwanderingtoIlfordCemetery,inacertaindesolatecornerofwhichlayafragilelittlewomanwhoselungshadbeenbutilladaptedtobreathingLondonfogs;with,onthetopofher,astillsmallerandstillmorefragilemiteofhumanitythat,incomplimenttoitsonlyrelativeworthapenny—piece,hadbeenchristenedThomas——anamecommonenoughinallconscience,asPeterhadremindedhimselfmorethanonce。Inthenameofcommonsense,whathaddeadandburiedTommyHopetodowiththisaffair?Thewholethingwastheveriestsentiment,andsentimentwasMr。PeterHope’sabomination。Hadhenotpennedarticlesinnumerablepointingoutitsbanefulinfluenceupontheage?Hadhenotalwayscondemnedit,whereverhehadcomeacrossitinplayorbook?NowandthenthesuspicionhadcrossedPeter’smindthat,inspiteofallthis,hewassomewhatofasentimentalisthimself——thingshadsuggestedthistohim。Thefearhadalwaysmadehimsavage。

\"YouwaitheretillIcomeback,\"hegrowled,seizingtheastonishedTommybytheworstedcomforterandspinningitintothecentreoftheroom。\"Sitdown,anddon’tyoudaretomove。\"AndPeterwentoutandslammedthedoorbehindhim。

\"Bitoffhischump,ain’the?\"remarkedTommytoElizabeth,asthesoundofPeter’sdescendingfootstepsdiedaway。PeoplehadawayofaddressingremarkstoElizabeth。Somethinginhermannerinvitedthis。

\"Oh,well,it’sallintheday’swork,\"commentedTommycheerfully,andsatdownasbid。

Fiveminutespassed,maybeten。ThenPeterreturned,accompaniedbyalarge,restfullady,towhomsurprise——onefeltitinstinctively——hadalwaysbeen,andalwayswouldremain,anunknownquantity。

Tommyrose。

\"That’sthe——thearticle,\"explainedPeter。

Mrs。Postwhistlecompressedherlipsandslightlytossedherhead。

Itwastheattitudeofnotill—naturedcontemptfromwhichsheregardedmosthumanaffairs。

\"That’sright,\"saidMrs。Postwhistle;\"Irememberseeing’erthere——leastways,itwasan’errightenoughthen。What’aveyoudonewithyourclothes?\"

\"Theyweren’tmine,\"explainedTommy。\"TheywerethingswhatMrs。

Hammondhadlentme。\"

\"Isthatyourown?\"askedMrs。Postwhistle,indicatingthebluesilkgaribaldi。

\"Yes。\"

\"Whatwentwithit?\"

\"Tights。Theyweretoofargone。\"

\"WhatmadeyougiveupthetumblingbusinessandgotoMrs。

’Ammond’s?\"

\"Itgavemeup。Hurtmyself。\"

\"Whowereyouwithlast?\"

\"Martinitroupe。\"

\"Andbeforethat?\"

\"Oh!heapsof’em。\"

\"Nobodyevertoldyouwhetheryouwasaboyoragirl?\"

\"NobodyasI’dcaretobelieve。Someofthemcalledmetheone,someofthemtheother。Itdependeduponwhatwaswanted。\"

\"Howoldareyou?\"

\"Idunno。\"

Mrs。PostwhistleturnedtoPeter,whowasjinglingkeys。

\"Well,there’sthebedupstairs。It’sforyoutodecide。\"

\"WhatIdon’twanttodo,\"explainedPeter,sinkinghisvoicetoaconfidentialwhisper,\"istomakeafoolofmyself。\"

\"That’salwaysagoodrule,\"agreedMrs。Postwhistle,\"forthosetowhomit’spossible。\"

\"Anyhow,\"saidPeter,\"onenightcan’tdoanyharm。To—morrowwecanthinkwhat’stobedone。\"

\"To—morrow\"hadalwaysbeenPeter’sluckyday。Atthemerementionofthemagicdatehisspiritsinvariablyrose。HenowturneduponTommyacountenancefromwhichallhesitationwasbanished。

\"Verywell,Tommy,\"saidMr。PeterHope,\"youcansleephereto—

night。GowithMrs。Postwhistle,andshe’llshowyouyourroom。\"

Theblackeyesshone。

\"You’regoingtogivemeatrial?\"

\"We’lltalkaboutallthatto—morrow。\"Theblackeyesclouded。

\"Lookhere。Itellyoustraight,itain’tnogood。\"

\"Whatdoyoumean?Whatisn’tanygood?\"demandedPeter。

\"You’llwanttosendmetoprison。\"

\"Toprison!\"

\"Oh,yes。You’llcallitaschool,Iknow。Youain’tthefirstthat’striedthaton。Itwon’twork。\"Thebright,blackeyeswereflashingpassionately。\"Iain’tdoneanyharm。I’mwillingtowork。Icankeepmyself。Ialwayshave。What’sitgottodowithanybodyelse?\"

Hadthebright,blackeyesretainedtheirexpressionofpassionatedefiance,PeterHopemighthaveretainedhiscommonsense。OnlyFatearrangedthatinsteadtheyshouldsuddenlyfillwithwildtears。AndatsightofthemPeter’scommonsensewentoutoftheroomdisgusted,andtherewasbornthehistoryofmanythings。

\"Don’tbesilly,\"saidPeter。\"Youdidn’tunderstand。OfcourseI’mgoingtogiveyouatrial。You’regoingto’do’forme。I

merelymeantthatwe’dleavethedetailstillto—morrow。Come,housekeepersdon’tcry。\"

Thelittlewetfacelookedup。

\"Youmeanit?Honourbright?\"

\"Honourbright。Nowgoandwashyourself。Thenyoushallgetmemysupper。\"

Theoddfigure,stillheavingfromitsparoxysmofsobs,stoodup。

\"AndIhavemygrub,mylodging,andsixpenceaweek?\"

\"Yes,yes;Ithinkthat’safairarrangement,\"agreedMr。PeterHope,considering。\"Don’tyou,Mrs。Postwhistle?\"

\"Withafrock——orasuitoftrousers——thrownin,\"suggestedMrs。

Postwhistle。\"It’sgenerallydone。\"

\"Ifit’sthecustom,certainly,\"agreedMr。PeterHope。\"Sixpenceaweekandclothes。\"

AndthistimeitwasPeterthat,incompanywithElizabeth,satwaitingthereturnofTommy。

\"Iratherhope,\"saidPeter,\"it’saboy。Itwasthefogs,youknow。IfonlyIcouldhaveaffordedtosendhimaway!\"

Elizabethlookedthoughtful。Thedooropened。

\"Ah!that’sbetter,muchbetter,\"saidMr。PeterHope。\"’Ponmyword,youlookquiterespectable。\"

BythepracticalMrs。Postwhistleaworkingagreement,benefitingbothparties,hadbeenarrivedatwiththelong—trainedskirt;

whileanampleshawlarrangedwithjudgmentdisguisedthenakednessthatlaybelow。Peter,afastidiousgentleman,observedwithsatisfactionthatthehands,nowclean,hadbeenwellcaredfor。

\"Givemethatcap,\"saidPeter。Hethrewitintheglowingfire。

Itburnedbrightly,diffusingstrangeodours。

\"There’satravellingcapofminehangingupinthepassage。Youcanwearthatforthepresent。Takethishalf—sovereignandgetmesomecoldmeatandbeerforsupper。You’llfindeverythingelseyouwantinthatsideboardorelseinthekitchen。Don’taskmeahundredquestions,anddon’tmakeanoise,\"andPeterwentbacktohiswork。

\"Goodidea,thathalf—sovereign,\"saidPeter。\"Shan’tbebotheredwith’MasterTommy’anymore,don’texpect。Startinganurseryatourtimeoflife。Madness。\"Peter’spenscratchedandspluttered。

Elizabethkeptaneyeuponthedoor。

\"Quarterofanhour,\"saidPeter,lookingathiswatch。\"Toldyouso。\"ThearticleonwhichPeterwasnowengagedappearedtobeofaworryingnature。

\"Thenwhy,\"saidPeter,\"whydidherefusethatshilling?

Artfulness,\"concludedPeter,\"pureartfulness。Elizabeth,oldgirl,we’vegotoutofthisbusinesscheaply。Goodidea,thathalf—sovereign。\"PetergaveventtoachucklethathadtheeffectofalarmingElizabeth。

ButluckevidentlywasnotwithPeterthatnight。

\"Pingle’swassoldout,\"explainedTommy,enteringwithparcels;

\"hadtogotoBow’sinFarringdonStreet。\"

\"Oh!\"saidPeter,withoutlookingup。

Tommypassedthroughintothelittlekitchenbehind。Peterwroteonrapidly,makingupforlosttime。

\"Good!\"murmuredPeter,smilingtohimself,\"that’saneatphrase。

Thatoughttoirritatethem。\"

Now,ashewrote,whilewithnoiselessfootstepsTommy,unseenbehindhim,movedtoandfroandinandoutthelittlekitchen,therecametoPeterHopethisverycuriousexperience:itfelttohimasifforalongtimehehadbeenill——soillasnoteventohavebeenawareofit——andthatnowhewasbeginningtobehimselfagain;consciousnessofthingsreturningtohim。Thissolidlyfurnished,long,oak—panelledroomwithitsairofold—worlddignityandrepose——thissober,kindlyroominwhichformorethanhalfhislifehehadlivedandworked——whyhadheforgottenit?Itcameforwardgreetinghimwithanamusedsmile,asofsomeoldfriendlongpartedfrom。Thefadedphotos,instiff,woodenframesuponthechimney—piece,amongthemthatofthefragilelittlewomanwiththeunadaptablelungs。

\"Godblessmysoul!\"saidMr。PeterHope,pushingbackhischair。

\"It’sthirtyyearsago。Howtimedoesfly!Why,letmesee,I

mustbe——\"

\"D’youlikeitwithaheadonit?\"demandedTommy,whohadbeenwaitingpatientlyforsigns。

Petershookhimselfawakeandwenttohissupper。

AbrightideaoccurredtoPeterinthenight。\"Ofcourse;whydidn’tIthinkofitbefore?Settlethequestionatonce。\"Peterfellintoaneasysleep。

\"Tommy,\"saidPeter,ashesathimselfdowntobreakfastthenextmorning。\"By—the—by,\"askedPeterwithapuzzledexpression,puttingdownhiscup,\"whatisthis?\"

\"Cauffee,\"informedhimTommy。\"Yousaidcauffee。\"

\"Oh!\"repliedPeter。\"Forthefuture,Tommy,ifyoudon’tmind,I

willtaketeaofamorning。\"

\"Allthesametome,\"explainedtheagreeableTommy,\"it’syourbreakfast。\"

\"WhatIwasabouttosay,\"continuedPeter,\"wasthatyou’renotlookingverywell,Tommy。\"

\"I’mallright,\"assertedTommy;\"nevernothingthematterwithme。\"

\"Notthatyouknowof,perhaps;butonecanbeinaverybadway,Tommy,withoutbeingawareofit。IcannothaveanyoneaboutmethatIamnotsureisinthoroughlysoundhealth。\"

\"Ifyoumeanyou’vechangedyourmindandwanttogetridofme——\"

beganTommy,withitschinintheair。

\"Idon’twantanyofyouruppishness,\"snappedPeter,whohadwoundhimselfupfortheoccasiontoadegreeofassertivenessthatsurprisedevenhimself。\"Ifyouareathoroughlystrongandhealthyperson,asIthinkyouare,Ishallbeverygladtoretainyourservices。ButuponthatpointImustbesatisfied。Itisthecustom,\"explainedPeter。\"Itisalwaysdoneingoodfamilies。

Runroundtothisaddress\"——Peterwroteituponaleafofhisnotebook——\"andaskDr。Smithtocomeandseemebeforehebeginshisround。Yougoatonce,anddon’tletushaveanyargument。\"

\"Thatisthewaytotalktothatyoungperson——clearly,\"saidPetertohimself,listeningtoTommy’sfootstepsdyingdownthestairs。

Hearingthestreet—doorslam,Peterstoleintothekitchenandbrewedhimselfacupofcoffee。

Dr。Smith,whohadcommencedlifeasHerrSchmidt,butwhoinconsequenceofdifferenceofopinionwithhisGovernmentwasnowanEnglishmanwithstrongToryprejudices,hadbutonesorrow:itwasthatstrangerswouldmistakehimforaforeigner。Hewasshortandstout,withbushyeyebrowsandagreymoustache,andlookedsofiercethatchildrencriedwhentheysawhim,untilhepattedthemontheheadandaddressedthemas\"meinleedlefrent\"inavoicesosoftandtenderthattheyhadtoleaveoffhowlingjusttowonderwhereitcamefrom。HeandPeter,whowasavehementRadical,hadbeencroniesformanyyears,andhadeachanindulgentcontemptfortheother’sunderstanding,temperedbyasincereaffectionforoneanothertheywouldhavefounditdifficulttoaccountfor。

\"Whattinkyouisdematterwiddeleedlewench?\"demandedDr。

Smith,Peterhavingopenedthecase。Peterglancedroundtheroom。

Thekitchendoorwasclosed。

\"Howdoyouknowit’sawench?\"

Theeyesbeneaththebushybrowsgrewrounder。\"Ifidisnotawench,whydressit——\"

\"Haven’tdressedit,\"interruptedPeter。\"JustwhatI’mwaitingtodo——sosoonasIknow。\"

AndPeterrecountedtheeventsoftheprecedingevening。

Tearsgatheredinthedoctor’ssmall,roundeyes。HisabsurdsentimentalismwasthequalityinhisfriendthatmostirritatedPeter。

\"Poorleedlewaif!\"murmuredthesoft—heartedoldgentleman。\"IdwasdegoodProvidencedatguidedher——orhim,whicheveridbe。\"

\"Providencebehanged!\"snarledPeter。\"WhatwasmyProvidencedoing——landingmewithagutter—brattolookafter?\"

\"SolikeyouRadicals,\"sneeredthedoctor,\"todespiseafellowhumancreaturejustbecauseidmaynothavebeenborninburbleandfinelinen。\"

\"Ididn’tsendforyoutoarguepolitics,\"retortedPeter,controllinghisindignationbyaneffort。\"Iwantyoutotellmewhetherit’saboyoragirl,sothatImayknowwhattodowithit。\"

\"Whatmeanyoutodowidid?\"inquiredthedoctor。

\"Idon’tknow,\"confessedPeter。\"Ifit’saboy,asIratherthinkitis,maybeI’llbeabletofinditaplaceinoneoftheoffices—

—afterI’vetaughtitalittlecivilisation。\"

\"Andifidbeagirl?\"

\"Howcanitbeagirlwhenitwearstrousers?\"demandedPeter。

\"Whyanticipatedifficulties?\"

Peter,alone,pacedtoandfrotheroom,hishandsbehindhisback,hisearonthealerttocatchtheslightestsoundfromabove。

\"Idohopeitisaboy,\"saidPeter,glancingup。

Peter’seyesrestedonthephotoofthefragilelittlewomangazingdownathimfromitsstiffframeuponthechimney—piece。Thirtyyearsago,inthissameroom,Peterhadpacedtoandfro,hishandsbehindhisback,hisearalerttocatchtheslightestsoundfromabove,hadsaidtohimselfthesamewords。

\"It’sodd,\"musedPeter——\"veryoddindeed。\"

Thedooropened。Thestoutdoctor,precededatalittledistancebyhiswatch—chain,enteredandclosedthedoorbehindhim。

\"Averyhealthychild,\"saidthedoctor,\"asfineachildasanyonecouldwishtosee。Agirl。\"

Thetwooldgentlemenlookedatoneanother。Elizabeth,possiblyrelievedinhermind,begantopurr。

\"WhatamItodowithit?\"demandedPeter。

\"Averyawkwardbositionforyou,\"agreedthesympatheticdoctor。

\"Iwasafool!\"declaredPeter。

\"Youhafnooneheretolookafterdeleedlewenchwhenyouareaway,\"pointedoutthethoughtfuldoctor。

\"AndfromwhatI’veseenoftheimp,\"addedPeter,\"itwillwantsomelookingafter。\"

\"Itink——Itink,\"saidthehelpfuldoctor,\"Iseeawayout!\"

\"What?\"

Thedoctorthrusthisfiercefaceforwardandtappedknowinglywithhisrightforefingertherightsideofhisroundnose。\"Iwilltakechargeofdeleedlewench。\"

\"You?\"

\"Tomedecasewillnotpresentdesamedifficulties。Ihafahousekeeper。\"

\"Oh,yes,Mrs。Whateley。\"

\"Sheisagootwomanwhenyouknowher,\"explainedthedoctor。

\"Sheonlywantsmanaging。\"

\"Pooh!\"ejaculatedPeter。

\"Whydoyousaydat?\"inquiredthedoctor。

\"You!bringingupaheadstronggirl。Theidea!\"

\"Ishouldbekind,butfirm。\"

\"Youdon’tknowher。\"

\"Howlonghafyouknownher?\"

\"Anyhow,I’mnotasoft—heartedsentimentalistthatwouldjustruinthechild。\"

\"Girlsarenotboys,\"persistedthedoctor;\"deywantdifferenttreatment。\"

\"Well,I’mnotabrute!\"snarledPeter。\"Besides,supposesheturnsoutrubbish!Whatdoyouknowabouther?\"

\"Itakemychance,\"agreedthegenerousdoctor。

\"Itwouldn’tbefair,\"retortedhonestPeter。

\"Tinkitover,\"saidthedoctor。\"Aplaceisneverhomewidoutdeleedlefeet。WeEnglishmenlovedehome。Youaredifferent。Youhafnosentiment。\"

\"Icannothelpfeeling,\"explainedPeter,\"asenseofdutyinthismatter。Thechildcametome。Itisasifthisthinghadbeenlaiduponme。\"

\"Ifyoulookuponiddatway,Peter,\"sighedthedoctor。

\"Withsentiment,\"wentonPeter,\"Ihavenothingtodo;butduty——

dutyisquiteanotherthing。\"Peter,feelinghimselfanancientRoman,thankedthedoctorandshookhandswithhim。

Tommy,summoned,appeared。

\"Thedoctor,Tommy,\"saidPeter,withoutlookingupfromhiswriting,\"givesaverysatisfactoryaccountofyou。Soyoucanstop。\"

\"Toldyouso,\"returnedTommy。\"Mighthavesavedyourmoney。\"

\"Butweshallhavetofindyouanothername。\"

\"Whatfor?\"

\"Ifyouaretobeahousekeeper,youmustbeagirl。\"

\"Don’tlikegirls。\"

\"Can’tsayIthinkmuchofthemmyself,Tommy。Wemustmakethebestofit。Tobeginwith,wemustgetyouproperclothes。\"

\"Hateskirts。Theyhamperyou。\"

\"Tommy,\"saidPeterseverely,\"don’targue。\"

\"Pointingoutfactsain’targuing,\"arguedTommy。\"Theydohamperyou。Youtry’em。\"

Theclotheswerequicklymade,andafterawhiletheycametofit;

butthenameprovedmoredifficultofadjustment。Asweet—faced,laughinglady,knowntofamebyatitlerespectableandorthodox,appearsanhonouredguestto—dayatmanyaliterarygathering。Buttheoldfellows,pressinground,stillcallher\"Tommy。\"

Theweek’strialcametoanend。Peter,whosedigestionwasdelicate,hadhadahappythought。

\"WhatIpropose,Tommy——ImeanJane,\"saidPeter,\"isthatweshouldgetinawomantodojustthemerecooking。Thatwillgiveyoumoretimeto——toattendtootherthings,Tommy——Jane,Imean。\"

\"Whatotherthings?\"chinintheair。

\"The——thekeepingoftheroomsinorder,Tommy。The——thedusting。\"

\"Don’twanttwenty—fourhoursadaytodustfourrooms。\"

\"Thentherearemessages,Tommy。ItwouldbeagreatadvantagetometohavesomeoneIcouldsendonamessagewithoutfeelingIwasinterferingwiththehousework。\"

\"Whatareyoudrivingat?\"demandedTommy。\"Why,Idon’thavehalfenoughtodoasitis。Icandoall——\"

Peterputhisfootdown。\"WhenIsayathing,Imeanathing。Thesooneryouunderstandthat,thebetter。Howdareyouarguewithme!Fiddle—de—dee!\"FortwopinsPeterwouldhaveemployedanexpletiveevenstronger,sodeterminedwashefeeling。

Tommywithoutanotherwordlefttheroom。PeterlookedatElizabethandwinked。

PoorPeter!Histriumphwasshort—lived。Fiveminuteslater,Tommyreturned,cladinthelong,blackskirt,supportedbythecricketbelt,thebluegaribaldicutdecollete,thepepper—and—saltjacket,theworstedcomforter,theredlipsverytightlypressed,thelonglashesovertheblackeyesmovingveryrapidly。

\"Tommy\"(severely),\"whatisthistomfoolery?\"

\"Iunderstand。Iain’tnogoodtoyou。Thanksforgivingmeatrial。Myfault。\"

\"Tommy\"(lessseverely),\"don’tbeanidiot。\"

\"Ain’tanidiot。’TwasEmma。ToldmeIwasgoodatcooking。SaidI’dgotanaptitudeforit。Shemeantwell。\"

\"Tommy\"(notraceofseverity),\"sitdown。Emmawasquiteright。

Yourcookingis——ispromising。AsEmmaputsit,youhaveaptitude。

Your——perseverance,yourhopefulnessprovesit。\"

\"Thenwhyd’yewanttogetsomeoneelseintodoit?\"

IfPetercouldhaveansweredtruthfully!IfPetercouldhavereplied:

\"Mydear,Iamalonelyoldgentleman。Ididnotknowituntil——

untiltheotherday。NowIcannotforgetitagain。Wifeandchilddiedmanyyearsago。Iwaspoor,orImighthavesavedthem。Thatmademehard。Theclockofmylifestoodstill。Ihidawaythekey。Ididnotwanttothink。Youcrepttomeoutofthecruelfog,awakenedolddreams。Donotgoawayanymore\"——perhapsTommy,inspiteofherfierceindependence,wouldhaveconsentedtobeuseful;andthusPetermighthavegainedhisendatlesscostofindigestion。Butthepenaltyforbeingananti—sentimentalististhatyoumustnottalklikethiseventoyourself。SoPeterhadtocastaboutforothermethods。

\"Whyshouldn’tIkeeptwoservantsifIlike?\"Itdidseemhardontheoldgentleman。

\"What’sthesenseofpayingtwotodotheworkofone?Youwouldonlybekeepingmeonoutofcharity。\"Theblackeyesflashed。\"I

ain’tabeggar。\"

\"Andyoureallythink,Tommy——IshouldsayJane,youcanmanagethe——thewholeofit?Youwon’tmindbeingsentonamessage,perhapsintheverymiddleofyourcooking。ItwasthatIwasthinkingof,Tommy——somecookswould。\"

\"Yougoeasy,\"advisedhimTommy,\"tillIcomplainofhavingtoomuchtodo。\"

Peterreturnedtohisdesk。Elizabethlookedup。ItseemedtoPeterthatElizabethwinked。

ThefortnightthatfollowedwasaperiodoftroubletoPeter,forTommy,hersuspicionshavingbeenaroused,wasscepticalof\"business\"demandingthatPetershoulddinewiththismanattheclub,lunchwiththiseditorattheCheshireCheese。Atoncethechinwouldgoupintotheair,theblackeyescloudthreateningly。

Peter,anunmarriedmanforthirtyyears,lackingexperience,wouldundercross—examinationcontradicthimself,becomeconfused,breakdownoveressentialpoints。

\"Really,\"grumbledPetertohimselfoneevening,sawingatamuttonchop,\"reallythere’snootherwordforit——I’mhenpecked。\"

Peterthatdayhadlookedforwardtoalittledinneratafavouriterestaurant,withhis\"dearoldfriendBlenkinsopp,abitofagourmet,Tommy——thatmeansamanwholikeswhatyouwouldcallelaboratecooking!\"——forgetfulatthemomentthathehadusedup\"Blenkinsopp\"threedaysbeforeforafarewellsupper,\"Blenkinsopp\"havingtosetoutthenextmorningforEgypt。Peterwasnotfacileatinvention。Namesinparticularhadalwaysbeenadifficultytohim。

\"Ilikeaspiritofindependence,\"continuedPetertohimself。

\"Wishshehadn’tquitesomuchofit。Wonderwhereshegotitfrom。\"

ThesituationwasbecomingmoreserioustoPeterthanhecaredtoadmit。Fordaybyday,inspiteofhertyrannies,TommywasgrowingmoreandmoreindispensabletoPeter。TommywasthefirstaudiencethatforthirtyyearshadlaughedatPeter’sjokes;TommywasthefirstpublicthatforthirtyyearshadbeenconvincedthatPeterwasthemostbrilliantjournalistinFleetStreet;TommywasthefirstanxietythatforthirtyyearshadrendereditneedfulthatPetereachnightshouldmountstealthilythecreakingstairs,stealwithshadedcandletoabedside。IfonlyTommywouldn’t\"do\"

forhim!Ifonlyshecouldbepersuadedto\"do\"somethingelse。

AnotherhappythoughtoccurredtoPeter。

\"Tommy——ImeanJane,\"saidPeter,\"IknowwhatI’lldowithyou。\"

\"What’sthegamenow?\"

\"I’llmakeajournalistofyou。\"

\"Don’ttalkrot。\"

\"Itisn’trot。Besides,Iwon’thaveyouanswermelikethat。AsaDevil——thatmeans,Tommy,theunseenpersoninthebackgroundthathelpsajournalisttodohiswork——youwouldbeinvaluabletome。Itwouldpayme,Tommy——paymeveryhandsomely。Ishouldmakemoneyoutofyou。\"

ThisappearedtobeanargumentthatTommyunderstood。Peter,withsecretdelight,noticedthatthechinretaineditsnormallevel。

\"Ididhelpachaptosellpapers,once,\"rememberedTommy;\"hesaidIwasflyatit。\"

\"Itoldyouso,\"exclaimedPetertriumphantly。\"Themethodsaredifferent,buttheinstinctrequiredisthesame。Wewillgetawomanintorelieveyouofthehousework。\"

Thechinshotupintotheair。

\"Icoulddoitinmysparetime。\"

\"Yousee,Tommy,Ishouldwantyoutogoaboutwithme——tobealwayswithme。\"

\"Bettertrymefirst。Maybeyou’remakinganerror。\"

Peterwaslearningthewisdomoftheserpent。

\"Quiteright,Tommy。Wewillfirstseewhatyoucando。Perhaps,afterall,itmayturnoutthatyouarebetterasacook。\"InhisheartPeterdoubtedthis。

Buttheseedhadfallenupongoodground。ItwasTommyherselfthatmanoeuvredherfirstessayinjournalism。AgreatmanhadcometoLondon——wasstayinginapartmentsespeciallypreparedforhiminSt。James’sPalace。SaideveryjournalistinLondontohimself:\"IfIcouldobtainaninterviewwiththisBigMan,whatabigthingitwouldbeforme!\"Foraweekpast,Peterhadcarriedeverywhereaboutwithhimapaperheaded:\"InterviewofOurSpecialCorrespondentwithPrinceBlank,\"questionsdownleft—handcolumn,verynarrow;spaceforanswersright—handside,verywide。

ButtheBigManwasexperienced。

\"Iwonder,\"saidPeter,spreadingtheneatlyfoldedpaperonthedeskbeforehim,\"Iwonderiftherecanbeanywayofgettingathim——anydodgeortrick,anypieceoflowcunning,anyplausibleliethatIhaven’tthoughtof。\"

\"OldManMartin——calledhimselfMartini——wasjustsuchanother,\"

commentedTommy。\"Comepaytime,Saturdayafternoon,youjustcouldn’tgetathim——simplywasn’tanyway。Iwasabittoogoodforhimonce,though,\"rememberedTommy,withatouchofprideinhervoice;\"gothalfaquidoutofhimthattime。Itdidsurprisehim。\"

\"No,\"communedPetertohimselfaloud,\"Idon’thonestlythinktherecanbeanymethod,creditableordiscreditable,thatI

haven’ttried。\"Peterflungtheone—sidedinterviewintothewastepaper—basket,andslippinghisnotebookintohispocket,departedtodrinkteawithaladynovelist,whosegreatdesire,asstatedinapostscripttoherinvitation,wastoavoidpublicity,ifpossible。

Tommy,assoonasPeter’sbackwasturned,fisheditoutagain。

AnhourlaterinthefogaroundSt。James’sPalacestoodanImp,cladinpatchedtrousersandapepper—and—saltjacketturnedupabouttheneck,gazingwithadmiringeyesuponthesentry。

\"Now,then,youngseventeen—and—sixpencethesoot,\"saidthesentry,\"whatdoyouwant?\"

\"Makesyouabitanxious,don’tit,\"suggestedtheImp,\"havingabigpotlikehimtolookafter?\"

\"Doesgetabitonyermind,ifyerthinksaboutit,\"agreedthesentry。

\"Howdoyoufindhimtotalkto,like?\"

\"Well,\"saidthesentry,bringinghisrightlegintoactionforthepurposeofrelievinghisleft,\"ain’t’admuchtodowith’immyself,notperson’ly,asyet。Oh,’eain’tabadsortwhenyerknow’im。\"

\"That’shisshake—down,ain’tit?\"askedtheImp,\"wherethelightsare。\"

\"That’sit,\"admittedsentry。\"Youain’tanAnarchist?Tellmeifyouare。\"

\"I’llletyouknowifIfeelitcomingon,\"theImpassuredhim。

Hadthesentrybeenamanofswiftandpenetratingobservation——

whichhewasn’t——hemighthaveaskedthequestioninmoreseriousatone。ForhewouldhaveremarkedthattheImp’sblackeyeswererestinglovinglyuponarain—water—pipe,givingtoaskilfulclimbereasyaccesstotheterraceunderneaththePrince’swindows。

\"Iwouldliketoseehim,\"saidtheImp。

\"Friendo’yours?\"askedthesentry。

\"Well,notexactly,\"admittedtheImp。\"Butthere,youknow,everybody’stalkingabouthimdownourstreet。\"

\"Well,yer’ll’avetobequickaboutit,\"saidthesentry。’E’soffto—night。\"

Tommy’sfacefell。\"Ithoughtitwasn’ttillFridaymorning。\"

\"Ah!\"saidthesentry,\"that’swhatthepaperssay,isit?\"Thesentry’svoicetookunconsciouslytheaccentofthosefromwhomnosecretishid。\"I’lltellyerwhatyercando,\"continuedthesentry,enjoyinganunaccustomedsenseofimportance。Thesentryglancedleft,thenright。\"’E’saslippingoffallby’imselfdowntoOsbornebythe6。40fromWaterloo。Nobodyknowsit——’cept,o’

course,justafewofus。That’s’iswayallover。’Ejust’ates—

—\"

Afootstepsoundeddownthecorridor。Thesentrybecamestatuesque。

AtWaterloo,Tommyinspectedthe6。40train。Onlyonecompartmentindicatedpossibilities,anextralargeoneattheendofthecoachnexttheguard’svan。Itwaslabelled\"Reserved,\"andintheplaceoftheusualfittingswasfurnishedwithatableandfoureasy—

chairs。Havingnoticeditsposition,Tommytookawalkuptheplatformanddisappearedintothefog。

Twentyminuteslater,PrinceBlanksteppedhurriedlyacrosstheplatform,unnoticedsavebyhalfadozenobsequiousofficials,andenteredthecompartmentreservedforhim。Theobsequiousofficialsbowed。PrinceBlank,inmilitaryfashion,raisedhishand。The6。40steamedoutslowly。

PrinceBlank,whowasastoutgentleman,thoughhetriedtodisguisethefact,seldomfoundhimselfalone。Whenhedid,hegenerallyindulgedhimselfinalittlehealthyrelaxation。Withtwohours’runtoSouthamptonbeforehim,freefromallpossibilityofintrusion,PrinceBlankletloosethebuttonsofhispowerfullybuiltwaistcoat,restedhisbaldheadonthetopofhischair,stretchedhisgreatlegsacrossanother,andclosedhisterrible,smalleyes。

ForaninstantitseemedtoPrinceBlankthatadraughthadenteredintothecarriage。As,however,thesensationimmediatelypassedaway,hedidnottroubletowakeup。ThenthePrincedreamedthatsomebodywasinthecarriagewithhim——wassittingoppositetohim。

Thisbeinganannoyingsortofdream,thePrinceopenedhiseyesforthepurposeofdispellingit。Therewassomebodysittingoppositetohim——averygrimylittleperson,wipingbloodoffitsfaceandhandswithadingyhandkerchief。HadthePrincebeenamancapableofsurprise,hewouldhavebeensurprised。

\"It’sallright,\"assuredhimTommy。\"Iain’theretodoanyharm。