Asoft，repentantvoice，tremulouswithtears，said:
\"Alonzo，dear，Ihavebeenwrong。Youcouldnothavesaidsocruelathing。Itmusthavebeensomeonewhoimitatedyourvoiceinmaliceorinjest。\"
TheReverendcoldlyanswered，inAlonzo\'stones:
\"Youhavesaidallwasoverbetweenus。Soletitbe。Ispurnyourprofferedrepentance，anddespiseit!\"
Thenhedeparted，radiantwithfiendishtriumph，toreturnnomorewithhisimaginarytelephonicinventionforever。
FourhoursafterwardAlonzoarrivedwithhismotherfromherfavoritehauntsofpovertyandvice。TheysummonedtheSanFranciscohousehold；
buttherewasnoreply。Theywaited，andcontinuedtowait，uponthevoicelesstelephone。
Atlength，whenitwassunsetinSanFrancisco，andthreehoursandahalfafterdarkinEastport，ananswertotheoft-repeatedcryof\"Rosannah!\"
But，alas，itwasAuntSusan\'svoicethatspake。Shesaid:
\"Ihavebeenoutallday；justgotin。Iwillgoandfindher。\"
Thewatcherswaitedtwominutes——fiveminutes——tenminutes。Thencamethesefatalwords，inafrightenedtone:
\"Sheisgone，andherbaggagewithher。Tovisitanotherfriend，shetoldtheservants。ButIfoundthisnoteonthetableinherroom。
Listen:\'Iamgone；seeknottotracemeout；myheartisbroken；youwillneverseememore。TellhimIshallalwaysthinkofhimwhenIsingmypoor\"SweetBy-and-by，\"butneveroftheunkindwordshesaidaboutit。\'Thatishernote。Alonzo，Alonzo，whatdoesitmean？Whathashappened？\"
ButAlonzosatwhiteandcoldasthedead。Hismotherthrewbackthevelvetcurtainsandopenedawindow。Thecoldairrefreshedthesufferer，andhetoldhisaunthisdismalstory。Meantimehismotherwasinspectingacardwhichhaddiscloseditselfuponthefloorwhenshecastthecurtainsback。Itread，\"Mr。SidneyAlgernonBurley，SanFrancisco。\"
\"Themiscreant!\"shoutedAlonzo，andrushedforthtoseekthefalseReverendanddestroyhim；forthecardexplainedeverything，sinceinthecourseofthelovers\'mutualconfessionstheyhadtoldeachotherallaboutallthesweetheartstheyhadeverhad，andthrownnoendofmudattheirfailingsandfoiblesforloversalwaysdothat。Ithasafascinationthatranksnextafterbillingandcooing。
IV
Duringthenexttwomonthsmanythingshappened。IthadearlytranspiredthatRosannah，poorsufferingorphan，hadneitherreturnedtohergrandmotherinPortland，Oregon，norsentanywordtohersaveaduplicateofthewoefulnoteshehadleftinthemansiononTelegraphHill。Whosoeverwasshelteringher——ifshewasstillalive——hadbeenpersuadednottobetrayherwhereabouts，withoutdoubt；foralleffortstofindtraceofherhadfailed。
DidAlonzogiveherup？Nothe。Hesaidtohimself，\"Shewillsingthatsweetsongwhensheissad；Ishallfindher。\"Sohetookhiscarpet-
sackandaportabletelephone，andshookthesnowofhisnativecityfromhisarctics，andwentforthintotheworld。Hewanderedfarandwideandinmanystates。Timeandagain，strangerswereastoundedtoseeawasted，pale，andwoe-wornmanlaboriouslyclimbatelegraph-poleinwintryandlonelyplaces，perchsadlythereanhour，withhisearatalittlebox，thencomesighingdown，andwanderwearilyaway。Sometimestheyshotathim，aspeasantsdoataeronauts，thinkinghimmadanddangerous。Thushisclothesweremuchshreddedbybulletsandhispersongrievouslylacerated。Butheboreitallpatiently。
Inthebeginningofhispilgrimageheusedoftentosay，\"Ah，ifIcouldbuthearthe\'SweetBy-and-by\'!\"Buttowardtheendofitheusedtoshedtearsofanguishandsay，\"Ah，ifIcouldbuthearsomethingelse!\"
Thusamonthandthreeweeksdriftedby，andatlastsomehumanepeopleseizedhimandconfinedhiminaprivatemad-houseinNewYork。Hemadenomoan，forhisstrengthwasallgone，andwithitallheartandallhope。Thesuperintendent，inpity，gaveuphisowncomfortableparlorandbedchambertohimandnursedhimwithaffectionatedevotion。
Attheendofaweekthepatientwasabletoleavehisbedforthefirsttime。Hewaslying，comfortablypillowed，onasofa，listeningtotheplaintiveMiserereofthebleakMarchwindsandthemuffledsoundoftrampingfeetinthestreetbelowforitwasaboutsixintheevening，andNewYorkwasgoinghomefromwork。Hehadabrightfireandtheaddedcheerofacoupleofstudent-lamps。Soitwaswarmandsnugwithin，thoughbleakandrawwithout；itwaslightandbrightwithin，thoughoutsideitwasasdarkanddrearyasiftheworldhadbeenlitwithHartfordgas。Alonzosmiledfeeblytothinkhowhislovingvagarieshadmadehimamaniacintheeyesoftheworld，andwasproceedingtopursuehislineofthoughtfurther，whenafaint，sweetstrain，theveryghostofsound，soremoteandattenuateditseemed，struckuponhisear。
Hispulsesstoodstill；helistenedwithpartedlipsandbatedbreath。
Thesongflowedonhewaiting，listening，risingslowlyandunconsciouslyfromhisrecumbentposition。Atlastheexclaimed:
\"Itis!itisshe!Oh，thedivinehatednotes!\"
Hedraggedhimselfeagerlytothecornerwhencethesoundsproceeded，toreasideacurtain，anddiscoveredatelephone。Hebentover，andasthelastnotediedawayheburstforthwiththeexclamation:
\"Oh，thankHeaven，foundatlast!Speaktome，Rosannah，dearest!Thecruelmysteryhasbeenunraveled；itwasthevillainBurleywhomimickedmyvoiceandwoundedyouwithinsolentspeech!\"
Therewasabreathlesspause，awaitingagetoAlonzo；thenafaintsoundcame，framingitselfintolanguage:
\"Oh，saythosepreciouswordsagain，Alonzo!\"
\"Theyarethetruth，theveritabletruth，myRosannah，andyoushallhavetheproof，ampleandabundantproof!\"
\"Oh；Alonzo，staybyme!Leavemenotforamoment!Letmefeelthatyouarenearme!Tellmeweshallneverbepartedmore!Oh，thishappyhour，thisblessedhour，thismemorablehour!\"
\"Wewillmakerecordofit，myRosannah；everyyear，asthisdearhourchimesfromtheclock，wewillcelebrateitwiththanksgivings，alltheyearsofourlife。\"
\"Wewill，wewill，Alonzo!\"
\"Fourminutesaftersix，intheevening，myRosannah，shallhenceforth——\"
\"Twenty-threeminutesaftertwelve，afternoonshall——\"
\"Why；Rosannah，darling，whereareyou？\"
\"InHonolulu，SandwichIslands。Andwhereareyou？Staybyme；donotleavemeforamoment。Icannotbearit。Areyouathome？\"
\"No，dear，IaminNewYork——apatientinthedoctor\'shands。\"
AnagonizingshriekcamebuzzingtoAlonzo\'sear，likethesharpbuzzingofahurtgnat；itlostpowerintravelingfivethousandmiles。Alonzohastenedtosay:
\"Calm——yourself，mychild。Itisnothing。AlreadyIamgettingwellunderthesweethealingofyourpresence。Rosannah？\"
\"Yes，Alonzo？Oh，howyouterrifiedme!Sayon。\"
\"Namethehappyday，Rosannah!\"
Therewasalittlepause。Thenadiffidentsmallvoicereplied，\"Iblush——butitiswithpleasure，itiswithhappiness。Would——wouldyouliketohaveitsoon？\"
\"Thisverynight，Rosannah!Oh，letusrisknomoredelays。Letitbenow!——thisverynight，thisverymoment!\"
\"Oh，youimpatientcreature!Ihavenobodyherebutmygoodolduncle，amissionaryforageneration，andnowretiredfromservice——nobodybuthimandhiswife。IwouldsodearlylikeitifyourmotherandyourAuntSusan——\"
\"OurmotherandourAuntSusan，myRosannah。\"
\"Yes，ourmotherandourAuntSusan——Iamcontenttoworditsoifitpleasesyou；Iwouldsoliketohavethempresent。\"
\"SowouldI。SupposeyoutelegraphAuntSusan。Howlongwouldittakehertocome？\"
\"ThesteamerleavesSanFranciscodayaftertomorrow。Thepassageiseightdays。Shewouldbeherethe31stofMarch。\"
\"Thennamethe1stofApril；do，Rosannah，dear。\"
\"Mercy，itwouldmakeusAprilfools，Alonzo!\"
\"Sowebethehappiestonesthatthatday\'ssuitlooksdownuponinthewholebroadexpanseoftheglobe，whyneedwecare？Callitthe1stofApril，dear。\"
\"Thenthe1stofAprilatshallbe，withallmyheart!\"
\"Oh，happiness!Namethehour，too，Rosannah。\"
\"Ilikethemorning，itissoblithe。Willeightinthemorningdo，Alonzo？\"
\"Theloveliesthourintheday——sinceitwillmakeyoumine。\"
Therewasafeeblebutfranticsoundforsomelittletime，asifwool-upped，disembodiedspiritswereexchangingkisses；thenRosannahsaid，\"Excusemejustamoment，dear；Ihaveanappointment，andamcalledtomeetit。\"
Theyounggirlsoughtalargeparlorandtookherplaceatawindowwhichlookedoutuponabeautifulscene。TotheleftonecouldviewthecharmingNuuanaValley，fringedwithitsruddyflushoftropicalflowersanditsplumedandgracefulcocoapalms；itsrisingfoothillsclothedintheshininggreenoflemon，citron，andorangegroves；itsstoriedprecipicebeyond，wherethefirstKamehamehadrovehisdefeatedfoesovertotheirdestruction，aspotthathadforgottenitsgrimhistory，nodoubt，fornowitwassmiling，asalmostalwaysatnoonday，undertheglowingarchesofasuccessionofrainbows。Infrontofthewindowonecouldseethequainttown，andhereandthereapicturesquegroupofduskynatives，enjoyingtheblisteringweather；andfartotherightlaytherestlessocean，tossingitswhitemaneinthesunshine。
Rosannahstoodthere，inherfilmywhiteraiment，fanningherflushedandheatedface，waiting。AKanakaboy，clothedinadamagedbluenecktieandpartofasilkhat，thrusthisheadinatthedoor，andannounced，\"\'Friscohaole!\"
\"Showhimin，\"saidthegirl，straighteningherselfupandassumingameaningdignity。Mr。SidneyAlgernonBurleyentered，cladfromheadtoheelindazzlingsnow——thatistosay，inthelightestandwhitestofIrishlinen。Hemovedeagerlyforward，butthegirlmadeagestureandgavehimalookwhichcheckedhimsuddenly。Shesaid，coldly，\"Iamhere，asIpromised。Ibelievedyourassertions，Iyieldedtoyourimportunelies，andsaidIwouldnametheday。Inamethe1stofApril——
eightinthemorning。NOWGO!\"
\"Oh，mydearest，ifthegratitudeofalifetime——\"
\"Notaword。Sparemeallsightofyou，allcommunicationwithyou，untilthathour。No-nosupplications；Iwillhaveitso。\"
Whenhewasgone，shesankexhaustedinachair，forthelongsiegeoftroublesshehadundergonehadwastedherstrength。Presentlyshesaid，\"Whatanarrowescape!Ifthehourappointedhadbeenanhourearlier——Oh，horror，whatanescapeIhavemade!AndtothinkIhadcometoimagineIwaslovingthisbeguiling，thistruthless，thistreacherousmonster!Oh，heshallrepenthisvillainy!\"
Letusnowdrawthishistorytoaclose，forlittlemoreneedstobetold。Onthe2doftheensuingApril，theHonoluluAdvertisercontainedthisnotice:
MARRIED——Inthiscity，bytelephone，yesterdaymorning，——ateighto\'clock，byRev。NathanHays，assistedbyRev。NathanielDavis，ofNewYork，Mr。AlonzoFitzClarence，ofEastport，Maine，U。S。，andMissRosannahEthelton，ofPortland，Oregon，U。S。Mrs。SusanHowland，ofSanFrancisco，afriendofthebride，waspresent，shebeingtheguestoftheRev。Mr。Haysandwife，uncleandauntofthebride。Mr。SidneyAlgernonBurley，ofSanFrancisco，wasalsopresentbutdidnotremaintilltheconclusionofthemarriageservice。CaptainHawthorne\'sbeautifulyacht，tastefullydecorated，wasinwaiting，andthehappybrideandherfriendsimmediatelydepartedonabridaltriptoLahainaandHaleakala。
TheNewYorkpapersofthesamedatecontainedthisnotice:
MARRIED——Inthiscity，yesterday，bytelephone，athalf-pasttwointhemorning，byRev。NathanielDavis，assistedbyRev。NathanHays，ofHonolulu，Mr。AlonzoFitzClarence，ofEastport，Maine，andMissRosannahEthelton，ofPortland，Oregon。Theparentsandseveralfriendsofthebridegroomwerepresent，andenjoyedasumptuousbreakfastandmuchfestivityuntilnearlysunrise，andthendepartedonabridaltriptotheAquarium，thebridegroom\'sstateofhealthnotadmittingofamoreextendedjourney。
TowardthecloseofthatmemorabledayMr。andMrs。AlonzoFitzClarencewereburiedinsweetconverseconcerningthepleasuresoftheirseveralbridaltours，whensuddenlytheyoungwifeexclaimed:\"Oh，Lonny，I
forgot!IdidwhatIsaidIwould。\"
\"Didyou，dear？\"
\"Indeed，Idid。ImadehimtheAprilfool!AndItoldhimso，too!
Ah，itwasacharmingsurprise!Therehestood，swelteringinablackdress-suit，withthemercuryleakingoutofthetopofthethermometer，waitingtobemarried。YoushouldhaveseenthelookhegavewhenI
whispereditinhisear。Ah，hiswickednesscostmemanyaheartacheandmanyatear，butthescorewasallsquaredup，then。Sothevengefulfeelingwentrightoutofmyheart，andIbeggedhimtostay，andsaidI
forgavehimeverything。Buthewouldn\'t。Hesaidhewouldlivetobeavenged；saidhewouldmakeourlivesacursetous。Buthecan\'t，canhe，dear？\"
\"Neverinthisworld，myRosannah!\"
AuntSusan，theOregoniangrandmother，andtheyoungcoupleandtheirEastportparents，areallhappyatthiswriting，andlikelytoremainso。
AuntSusanbroughtthebridefromtheislands，accompaniedheracrossourcontinent，andhadthehappinessofwitnessingtherapturousmeetingbetweenanadoringhusbandandwifewhohadneverseeneachotheruntilthatmoment。
AwordaboutthewretchedBurley，whosewickedmachinationscamesonearwreckingtheheartsandlivesofourpooryoungfriends，willbesufficient。Inamurderousattempttoseizeacrippledandhelplessartisanwhohefanciedhaddonehimsomesmalloffense，hefellintoacaldronofboilingoilandexpiredbeforehecouldbeextinguished。
ONTHEDECAYOFTHEARTOFLYING
ESSAY，FORDISCUSSION，READATAMEETINGOFTHEHISTORICALAND
ANTIQUARIANCLUBOFHARTFORD，ANDOFFEREDFORTHETHIRTY-DOLLARPRIZE。
NOWFIRSTPUBLISHED——[Didnottaketheprize]
Observe，Idonotmeantosuggestthatthecustomoflyinghassufferedanydecayorinterruption——no，fortheLie，asaVirtue，aPrinciple，iseternal；theLie，asarecreation，asolace，arefugeintimeofneed，thefourthGrace，thetenthMuse，man\'sbestandsurestfriend，isimmortal，andcannotperishfromtheearthwhilethisClubremains。Mycomplaintsimplyconcernsthedecayoftheartoflying。Nohigh-mindedman，nomanofrightfeeling，cancontemplatethelumberingandslovenlylyingofthepresentdaywithoutgrievingtoseeanobleartsoprostituted。InthisveteranpresenceInaturallyenteruponthisschemewithdiffidence；itislikeanoldmaidtryingtoteachnurserymatterstothemothersinIsrael。Itwouldnotbecomemetocriticizeyou，gentlemen，whoarenearlyallmyelders——andmysuperiors，inthisthing——
andso，ifIshouldhereandthereseemtodoit，Itrustitwillinmostcasesbemoreinaspiritofadmirationthanoffault-finding；
indeed，ifthisfinestofthefineartshadeverywherereceivedtheattention，encouragement，andconscientiouspracticeanddevelopmentwhichthisClubhasdevotedtoitIshouldnotneedtoutterthislamentorshedasingletear。Idonotsaythistoflatter:Isayitinaspiritofjustandappreciativerecognition。
[Ithadbeenmyintention，atthispoint，tomentionnamesandgiveillustrativespecimens，butindicationsobservableaboutmeadmonishedmetobewareofparticularsandconfinemyselftogeneralities。]
Nofactismorefirmlyestablishedthanthatlyingisanecessityofourcircumstances——thedeductionthatitisthenaVirtuegoeswithoutsaying。Novirtuecanreachitshighestusefulnesswithoutcarefulanddiligentcultivation——therefore，itgoeswithoutsayingthatthisoneoughttobetaughtinthepublicschools——atthefireside——eveninthenewspapers。Whatchancehastheignorant，uncultivatedliaragainsttheeducatedexpert？WhatchancehaveIagainstMr。Per——againstalawyer？
Judiciouslyingiswhattheworldneeds。Isometimesthinkitwereevenbetterandsafernottolieatallthantolieinjudiciously。Anawkward，unscientificlieisoftenasineffectualasthetruth。
Nowletusseewhatthephilosopherssay。Notethatvenerableproverb:
Childrenandfoolsalwaysspeakthetruth。Thedeductionisplain——adultsandwisepersonsneverspeakit。Parkman，thehistorian，says，\"Theprincipleoftruthmayitselfbecarriedintoanabsurdity。\"Inanotherplaceinthesamechapterhesays，\"Thesayingisoldthattruthshouldnotbespokenatalltimes；andthosewhomasickconscienceworriesintohabitualviolationofthemaximareimbecilesandnuisances。\"Itisstronglanguage，buttrue。Noneofuscouldlivewithanhabitualtruth-teller；but，thankgoodness，noneofushasto。Anhabitualtruth-tellerissimplyanimpossiblecreature；hedoesnotexist；heneverhasexisted。Ofcoursetherearepeoplewhothinktheyneverlie，butitisnotso——andthisignoranceisoneoftheverythingsthatshameourso-calledcivilization。Everybodylies——everyday；everyhour；awake；asleep；inhisdreams；inhisjoy；inhismourning；ifhekeepshistonguestill，hishands，hisfeet，hiseyes，hisattitude，willconveydeception——andpurposely。Eveninsermons——butthatisaplatitude。
InafarcountrywhereIoncelivedtheladiesusedtogoaroundpayingcalls，underthehumaneandkindlypretenseofwantingtoseeeachother；
andwhentheyreturnedhome，theywouldcryoutwithagladvoice，saying，\"Wemadesixteencallsandfoundfourteenofthemout\"——notmeaningthattheyfoundoutanythingagainstthefourteen——no，thatwasonlyacolloquialphrasetosignifythattheywerenotathome——andtheirmannerofsayingit——expressedtheirlivelysatisfactioninthatfact。
Now，theirpretenseofwantingtoseethefourteen——andtheothertwowhomtheyhadbeenlessluckywith——wasthatcommonestandmildestformoflyingwhichissufficientlydescribedasadeflectionfromthetruth。
Isitjustifiable？Mostcertainly。Itisbeautiful，itisnoble；foritsobjectis，nottoreapprofit，buttoconveyapleasuretothesixteen。Theiron-souledtruth-mongerwouldplainlymanifest，orevenutterthefact，thathedidn\'twanttoseethosepeople——andhewouldbeanass，andinflictatotallyunnecessarypain。Andnext，thoseladiesinthatfarcountry——butnevermind，theyhadathousandpleasantwaysoflying，thatgrewoutofgentleimpulses，andwereacredittotheirintelligenceandathonortotheirhearts。Lettheparticularsgo。
Themeninthatfarcountrywereliars；everyone。Theirmerehowdy-dowasalie，becausetheydidn\'tcarehowyoudid，excepttheywereundertakers。Totheordinaryinquireryouliedinreturn；foryoumadenoconscientiousdiagnosisofyourcase，butansweredatrandom，andusuallymisseditconsiderably。Youliedtotheundertaker，andsaidyourhealthwasfailing——awhollycommendablelie，sinceitcostyounothingandpleasedtheotherman。Ifastrangercalledandinterruptedyou，yousaidwithyourheartytongue，\"I\'mgladtoseeyou，\"andsaidwithyourheartiersoul，\"Iwishyouwerewiththecannibalsanditwasdinner-time。\"Whenhewent，yousaidregretfully，\"Mustyougo？\"andfolloweditwitha\"Callagain\"；butyoudidnoharm，foryoudidnotdeceiveanybodynorinflictanyhurt，whereasthetruthwouldhavemadeyoubothunhappy。
Ithinkthatallthiscourteouslyingisasweetandlovingart，andshouldbecultivated，Thehighestperfectionofpolitenessisonlyabeautifuledifice，built，fromthebasetothedome，ofgracefulandgildedformsofcharitableandunselfishlying。
WhatIbemoanisthegrowingprevalenceofthebrutaltruth。Letusdowhatwecantoeradicateit。Aninjurioustruthhasnomeritoveraninjuriouslie。Neithershouldeverbeuttered。Themanwhospeaksaninjurioustruth，lesthissoulbenotsavedifhedootherwise，shouldreflectthatthatsortofasoulisnotstrictlyworthsaving。Themanwhotellsalietohelpapoordeviloutoftroubleisoneofwhomtheangelsdoubtlesssay，\"Lo，hereisanheroicsoulwhocastshisownwelfareintojeopardytosuccorhisneighbor\'s；letusexaltthismagnanimousliar。\"
Aninjuriouslieisanuncommendablething；andso，also，andinthesamedegree，isaninjurioustruth——afactwhichisrecognizedbythelawoflibel。
Amongothercommonlies，wehavethesilentliethedeceptionwhichoneconveysbysimplykeepingstillandconcealingthetruth。Manyobstinatetruth-mongersindulgeinthisdissipation，imaginingthatiftheyspeaknolie，theylienotatall。InthatfarcountrywhereIoncelived，therewasalovelyspirit，aladywhoseimpulseswerealwayshighandpure，andwhosecharacteransweredtothem。OnedayIwasthereatdinner，andremarked，inageneralway，thatweareallliars。Shewasamazed，andsaid，\"Notall!\"Itwasbefore\"Pinafore\'s\"timesoIdidnotmaketheresponsewhichwouldnaturallyfollowinourday，butfranklysaid，\"Yes，all——weareallliars；therearenoexceptions。\"
Shelookedalmostoffended，andsaid，\"Why，doyouincludeme？\"
\"Certainly，\"Isaid，\"Ithinkyouevenrankasanexpert。\"Shesaid，\"\'Sh!——\'sh!thechildren!\"
Sothesubjectwaschangedindeferencetothechildren\'spresence，andwewentontalkingaboutotherthings。Butassoonastheyoungpeoplewereoutoftheway，theladycamewarmlybacktothematterandsaid，\"Ihavemadeittheruleofmylifetonevertellalie；andIhaveneverdepartedfromitinasingleinstance。\"Isaid，\"Idon\'tmeantheleastharmordisrespect，butreallyyouhavebeenlyinglikesmokeeversinceI\'vebeensittinghere。Ithascausedmeagooddealofpain，becauseI
amnotusedtoit。\"Sherequiredofmeaninstance——justasingleinstance。SoIsaid:
\"Well，hereistheunfilledduplicateoftheblankwhichtheOaklandhospitalpeoplesenttoyoubythehandofthesick-nursewhenshecameheretonurseyourlittlenephewthroughhisdangerousillness。Thisblankasksallmannerofquestionsastotheconductofthatsick-nurse:
\'Didsheeversleeponherwatch？Didsheeverforgettogivethemedicine？\'andsoforthandsoon。Youarewarnedtobeverycarefulandexplicitinyouranswers，forthewelfareoftheservicerequiresthatthenursesbepromptlyfinedorotherwisepunishedforderelictions。
Youtoldmeyouwereperfectlydelightedwiththatnurse——thatshehadathousandperfectionsandonlyonefault:youfoundyounevercoulddependonherwrappingJohnnyuphalfsufficientlywhilehewaitedinachillychairforhertorearrangethewarmbed。Youfilleduptheduplicateofthispaper，andsentitbacktothehospitalbythehandofthenurse。
Howdidyouanswerthisquestion——\'Wasthenurseatanytimeguiltyofanegligencewhichwaslikelytoresultinthepatient\'stakingcold？\'
Come——everythingisdecidedbyabethereinCalifornia:tendollarstotencentsyouliedwhenyouansweredthatquestion。\"Shesaid，\"I
didn\'t；Ileftitblank!\"\"Justso——youhavetoldasilentlie；youhaveleftittobeinferredthatyouhadnofaulttofindinthatmatter。\"
Shesaid，\"Oh，wasthatalie？AndhowcouldImentionheronesinglefault，andsheso，good？——itwouldhavebeencruel。\"Isaid，\"Oneoughtalwaystoliewhenonecandogoodbyit；yourimpulsewasright，but，yourjudgmentwascrude；thiscomesofunintelligentpractice。Nowobservetheresultofthisinexpertdeflectionofyours。YouknowMr。
Jones\'sWillieislyingverylowwithscarletfever；well，yourrecommendationwassoenthusiasticthatthatgirlistherenursinghim，andtheworn-outfamilyhaveallbeentrustinglysoundasleepforthelastfourteenhours，leavingtheirdarlingwithfullconfidenceinthosefatalhands，becauseyou，likeyoungGeorgeWashington，haveareputa——
However，ifyouarenotgoingtohaveanythingtodo，Iwillcomearoundto-morrowandwe\'llattendthefuneraltogether，for，ofcourse，you\'llnaturallyfeelapeculiarinterestinWillie\'scase——aspersonalaone，infact，astheundertaker。\"
Butthatwasalllost。BeforeIwashalf-waythroughshewasinacarriageandmakingthirtymilesanhourtowardtheJonesmansiontosavewhatwasleftofWillieandtellallsheknewaboutthedeadlynurse。
Allofwhichwasunnecessary，asWilliewasn\'tsick；Ihadbeenlyingmyself。Butthatsameday，allthesame，shesentalinetothehospitalwhichfilleduptheneglectedblank，andstatedthefacts，too，inthesquarestpossiblemanner。
Now，yousee，thislady\'sfaultwasnotinlying，butonlyinlyinginjudiciously。Sheshouldhavetoldthe，truth，there，andmadeituptothenursewithafraudulentcomplimentfurtheralonginthepaper。Shecouldhavesaid，\"Inonerespectthesick-nurseisperfection——whensheisonwatch，sheneversnores。\"Almostanylittlepleasantliewouldhavetakenthestingoutofthattroublesomebutnecessaryexpressionofthetruth。
Lyingisuniversalwealldoit；weallmustdoit。Therefore，thewisethingisforusdiligentlytotrainourselvestoliethoughtfully，judiciously；toliewithagoodobject，andnotanevilone；tolieforothers\'advantage，andnotourown；toliehealingly，charitably，humanely，notcruelly，hurtfully，maliciously；toliegracefullyandgraciously，notawkwardlyandclumsily；toliefirmly，frankly，squarely，withheaderect，nothaltingly，tortuously，withpusillanimousmien，asbeingashamedofourhighcalling。Thenshallweberidoftherankandpestilenttruththatisrottingtheland；thenshallwebegreatandgoodandbeautiful，andworthydwellersinaworldwhereevenbenignNaturehabituallylies，exceptwhenshepromisesexecrableweather。Then——ButIambutanewandfeeblestudentinthisgraciousart；IcannotinstructthisClub。
Jokingaside，Ithinkthereismuchneedofwiseexaminationintowhatsortsofliesarebestandwholesomesttobeindulged，seeingwemustalllieanddoalllie，andwhatsortsitmaybebesttoavoid——andthisisathingwhichIfeelIcanconfidentlyputintothehandsofthisexperiencedClub——aripebody，whomaybetermed，inthisregard，andwithoutundueflattery，OldMasters。
ABOUTMAGNANIMOUS-INCIDENTLITERATURE
Allmylife，fromboyhoodup，Ihavehadthehabitofreadingacertainsetofanecdotes，writteninthequaintveinofTheWorld\'singeniousFabulist，forthelessontheytaughtmeandthepleasuretheygaveme。
Theylayalwaysconvenienttomyhand，andwheneverIthoughtmeanlyofmykindIturnedtothem，andtheybanishedthatsentiment；wheneverI
feltmyselftobeselfish，sordid，andignobleIturnedtothem，andtheytoldmewhattodotowinbackmyself-respect。ManytimesIwishedthatthecharminganecdoteshadnotstoppedwiththeirhappyclimaxes，buthadcontinuedthepleasinghistoryoftheseveralbenefactorsandbeneficiaries。ThiswishroseinmybreastsopersistentlythatatlastIdeterminedtosatisfyitbyseekingoutthesequelsofthoseanecdotesmyself。SoIsetaboutit，andaftergreatlaborandtediousresearchaccomplishedmytask。Iwilllaytheresultbeforeyou，givingyoueachanecdoteinitsturn，andfollowingitwithitssequelasIgathereditthroughmyinvestigations。