第3章

Onedayabenevolentphysician(whohadreadthebooks)havingfoundastraypoodlesufferingfromabrokenleg,conveyedthepoorcreaturetohishome,andaftersettingandbandagingtheinjuredlimbgavethelittleoutcastitslibertyagain,andthoughtnomoreaboutthematter。

Buthowgreatwashissurprise,uponopeninghisdooronemorning,somedayslater,tofindthegratefulpoodlepatientlywaitingthere,andinitscompanyanotherstraydog,oneofwhoselegs,bysomeaccident,hadbeenbroken。Thekindphysicianatoncerelievedthedistressedanimal,nordidheforgettoadmiretheinscrutablegoodnessandmercyofGod,whohadbeenwillingtousesohumbleaninstrumentasthepooroutcastpoodlefortheinculcatingof,etc。,etc。,etc。

SEQUEL

Thenextmorningthebenevolentphysicianfoundthetwodogs,beamingwithgratitude,waitingathisdoor,andwiththemtwootherdogs-cripples。Thecrippleswerespeedilyhealed,andthefourwenttheirway,leavingthebenevolentphysicianmoreovercomebypiouswonderthanever。Thedaypassed,themorningcame。Thereatthedoorsatnowthefourreconstructeddogs,andwiththemfourothersrequiringreconstruction。Thisdayalsopassed,andanothermorningcame;andnowsixteendogs,eightofthemnewlycrippled,occupiedthesidewalk,andthepeopleweregoingaround。Bynoonthebrokenlegswereallset,butthepiouswonderinthegoodphysician\'sbreastwasbeginningtogetmixedwithinvoluntaryprofanity。Thesunroseoncemore,andexhibitedthirty-twodogs,sixteenofthemwithbrokenlegs,occupyingthesidewalkandhalfofthestreet;thehumanspectatorstookuptherestoftheroom。Thecriesofthewounded,thesongsofthehealedbrutes,andthecommentsoftheonlookingcitizensmadegreatandinspiringcheer,buttrafficwasinterruptedinthatstreet。Thegoodphysicianhiredacoupleofassistantsurgeonsandgotthroughhisbenevolentworkbeforedark,firsttakingtheprecautiontocancelhischurch-membership,sothathemightexpresshimselfwiththelatitudewhichthecaserequired。

Butsomethingshavetheirlimits。Whenoncemorethemorningdawned,andthegoodphysicianlookedoutuponamassedandfar-reachingmultitudeofclamorousandbeseechingdogs,hesaid,\"Imightaswellacknowledgeit,Ihavebeenfooledbythebooks;theyonlytelltheprettypartofthestory,andthenstop。Fetchmetheshotgun;thisthinghasgonealongfarenough。\"

Heissuedforthwithhisweapon,andchancedtostepuponthetailoftheoriginalpoodle,whopromptlybithimintheleg。Nowthegreatandgoodworkwhichthispoodlehadbeenengagedinhadengenderedinhimsuchamightyandaugmentingenthusiasmastoturnhisweakheadatlastanddrivehimmad。Amonthlater,whenthebenevolentphysicianlayinthedeath-throesofhydrophobia,hecalledhisweepingfriendsabouthim,andsaid:

\"Bewareofthebooks。Theytellbuthalfofthestory。Wheneverapoorwretchasksyouforhelp,andyoufeeladoubtastowhatresultmayflowfromyourbenevolence,giveyourselfthebenefitofthedoubtandkilltheapplicant。\"

Andsosayingheturnedhisfacetothewallandgaveuptheghost。

THEBENEVOLENTAUTHOR

Apoorandyoungliterarybeginnerhadtriedinvaintogethismanuscriptsaccepted。Atlast,whenthehorrorsofstarvationwerestaringhimintheface,helaidhissadcasebeforeacelebratedauthor,beseechinghiscounselandassistance。Thisgenerousmanimmediatelyputasidehisownmattersandproceededtoperuseoneofthedespisedmanuscripts。Havingcompletedhiskindlytask,heshookthepooryoungmancordiallybythehand,saying,\"Iperceivemeritinthis;comeagaintomeonMonday。\"Atthetimespecified,thecelebratedauthor,withasweetsmile,butsayingnothing,spreadopenamagazinewhichwasdampfromthepress。Whatwasthepooryoungman\'sastonishmenttodiscoverupontheprintedpagehisownarticle。\"HowcanIever,\"saidhe,fallinguponhiskneesandburstingintotears,\"testifymygratitudeforthisnobleconduct!\"

ThecelebratedauthorwastherenownedSnodgrass;thepooryoungbeginnerthusrescuedfromobscurityandstarvationwastheafterwardequallyrenownedSnagsby。Letthispleasingincidentadmonishustoturnacharitableeartoallbeginnersthatneedhelp。

SEQUEL

ThenextweekSnagsbywasbackwithfiverejectedmanuscripts。Thecelebratedauthorwasalittlesurprised,becauseinthebookstheyoungstrugglerhadneededbutonelift,apparently。However,heplowedthroughthesepapers,removingunnecessaryflowersanddiggingupsomeacresofadjectivestumps,andthensucceededingettingtwoofthearticlesaccepted。

Aweekorsodriftedby,andthegratefulSnagsbyarrivedwithanothercargo。Thecelebratedauthorhadfeltamightyglowofsatisfactionwithinhimselfthefirsttimehehadsuccessfullybefriendedthepooryoungstruggler,andhadcomparedhimselfwiththegenerouspeopleinthebookswithhighgratification;buthewasbeginningtosuspectnowthathehadstruckuponsomethingfreshinthenoble-episodeline。Hisenthusiasmtookachill。Still,hecouldnotbeartorepulsethisstrugglingyoungauthor,whoclungtohimwithsuchprettysimplicityandtrustfulness。

Well,theupshotofitallwasthatthecelebratedauthorpresentlyfoundhimselfpermanentlyfreightedwiththepooryoungbeginner。Allhismildeffortstounloadthiscargowentfornothing。Hehadtogivedailycounsel,dailyencouragement;hehadtokeeponprocuringmagazineacceptances,andthenrevampingthemanuscriptstomakethempresentable。

Whentheyoungaspirantgotastartatlast,herodeintosuddenfamebydescribingthecelebratedauthor\'sprivatelifewithsuchacaustichumorandsuchminutenessofblisteringdetailthatthebooksoldaprodigiousedition,andbrokethecelebratedauthor\'sheartwithmortification。

Withhislatestgasphesaid,\"Alas,thebooksdeceivedme;theydonottellthewholestory。Bewareofthestrugglingyoungauthor,myfriends。

WhomGodseesfittostarve,letnotmanpresumptuouslyrescuetohisownundoing。\"

THEGRATEFULHUSBAND

Onedayaladywasdrivingthroughtheprincipalstreetofagreatcitywithherlittleboy,whenthehorsestookfrightanddashedmadlyaway,hurlingthecoachmanfromhisboxandleavingtheoccupantsofthecarnageparalyzedwithterror。Butabraveyouthwhowasdrivingagrocery-wagonthrewhimselfbeforetheplunginganimals,andsucceededinarrestingtheirflightattheperilofhisown——[Thisisprobablyamisprint-M。T。]——Thegratefulladytookhisnumber,anduponarrivingatherhomesherelatedtheheroicacttoherhusband(whohadreadthebooks),wholistenedwithstreamingeyestothemovingrecital,andwho,afterreturningthanks,inconjunctionwithhisrestoredlovedones,toHimwhosufferethnotevenasparrowtofalltothegroundunnoticed,sentforthebraveyoungperson,and,placingacheckforfivehundreddollarsinhishand,said,\"Takethisasarewardforyournobleact,WilliamFerguson,andifeveryoushallneeda,friend,rememberthatThompsonMcSpaddenhasagratefulheart。\"Letuslearnfromthisthatagooddeedcannotfailtobenefitthedoer,howeverhumblehemaybe。

SEQUEL

WilliamFergusoncalledthenextweekandaskedMr。McSpaddentousehisinfluencetogethimahigheremployment,hefeelingcapableofbetterthingsthandrivingagrocer\'swagon。Mr。McSpaddengothimanunderclerkshipatagoodsalary。

PresentlyWilliamFerguson\'smotherfellsick,andWilliam——Well,tocutthestoryshort,Mr。McSpaddenconsentedtotakeherintohishouse。

Beforelongsheyearnedforthesocietyofheryoungerchildren;soMaryandJuliawereadmittedalso,andlittleJimmy,theirbrother。Jimmyhadapocketknife,andhewanderedintothedrawing-roomwithitoneday,alone,andreducedtenthousanddollars\'worthoffurnituretoanindeterminablevalueinratherlessthanthree-quartersofanhour。

Adayortwolaterhefelldown-stairsandbrokehisneck,andseventeenofhisfamily\'srelativescametothehousetoattendthefuneral。Thismadethemacquainted,andtheykeptthekitchenoccupiedafterthat,andlikewisekepttheMcSpaddensbusyhunting-upsituationsofvarioussortsforthem,andhuntingupmorewhentheyworetheseout。Theoldwomandrankagooddealandsworeagooddeal;butthegratefulMcSpaddensknewitwastheirdutytoreformher,consideringwhathersonhaddoneforthem,sotheyclavenoblytotheirgeneroustask。Williamcameoftenandgotdecreasingsumsofmoney,andaskedforhigherandmorelucrativeemployments——whichthegratefulMcSpaddenmoreorlesspromptlyprocuredforhim。McSpaddenconsentedalso,aftersomedemur,tofitWilliamforcollege;butwhenthefirstvacationcameandtheherorequestedtobesenttoEuropeforhishealth,thepersecutedMcSpaddenroseagainstthetyrantandrevolted。Heplainlyandsquarelyrefused。WilliamFerguson\'smotherwassoastoundedthatshelethergin-bottledrop,andherprofanelipsrefusedtodotheiroffice。Whensherecoveredshesaidinahalf-gasp,\"Isthisyourgratitude?Wherewouldyourwifeandboybenow,butformyson?\"

Williamsaid,\"Isthisyourgratitude?DidIsaveyourwife\'slifeornot?Tellmethat!\"

Sevenrelationsswarmedinfromthekitchenandeachsaid,\"Andthisishisgratitude!\"

William\'ssistersstared,bewildered,andsaid,\"Andthisishisgrat——\"

butwereinterruptedbytheirmother,whoburstintotearsandexclaimed,\"TothinkthatmysaintedlittleJimmythrewawayhislifeintheserviceofsuchareptile!\"

ThenthepluckoftherevolutionaryMcSpaddenrosetotheoccasion,andherepliedwithfervor,\"Outofmyhouse,thewholebeggarlytribeofyou!Iwasbeguiledbythebooks,butshallneverbebeguiledagain——onceissufficientforme。\"AndturningtoWilliamheshouted,\"Yes,youdidsavemy,wife\'slife,andthenextmanthatdoesitshalldieinhistracks!\"

Notbeingaclergyman,Iplacemytextattheendofmysermoninsteadofatthebeginning。Hereitis,fromMr。NoahBrooks\'sRecollectionsofPresidentLincolninScribnersMonthly:

J。H。Hackett,inhispartofFalstaff,wasanactorwhogaveMr。

Lincolngreatdelight。Withhisusualdesiretosignifytoothershissenseofobligation,Mr。Lincolnwroteageniallittlenotetotheactorexpressinghispleasureatwitnessinghisperformance。

Mr。Hackett,inreply,sentabookofsomesort;perhapsitwasoneofhisownauthorship。HealsowroteseveralnotestothePresident。Onenight,quitelate,whentheepisodehadpassedoutofmymind,IwenttothewhiteHouseinanswertoamessage。

PassingintothePresident\'soffice,Inoticed,tomysurprise,Hackettsittingintheanteroomasifwaitingforanaudience。ThePresidentaskedmeifanyonewasoutside。Onbeingtold,hesaid,halfsadly,\"Oh,Ican\'tseehim,Ican\'tseehim;Iwasinhopeshehadgoneaway。\"Thenheadded,\"Nowthisjustillustratesthedifficultyofhavingpleasantfriendsandacquaintancesinthisplace。YouknowhowIlikedHackettasanactor,andhowIwrotetotellhimso。Hesentmethatbook,andthereIthoughtthematterwouldend。Heisamasterofhisplaceintheprofession,I

suppose,andwellfixedinit;butjustbecausewehadalittlefriendlycorrespondence,suchasanytwomenmighthave,hewantssomething。Whatdoyousupposehewants?\"Icouldnotguess,andMr。Lincolnadded,\"well,hewantstobeconsultoLondon。Oh,dear!\"

Iwillobserve,inconclusion,thattheWilliamFergusonincidentoccurred,andwithinmypersonalknowledge——thoughIhavechangedthenatureofthedetails,tokeepWilliamfromrecognizinghimselfinit。

AllthereadersofthisarticlehaveinsomesweetandgushinghouroftheirlivesplayedtheroleofMagnanimous-Incidenthero。IwishIknewhowmanythereareamongthemwhoarewillingtotalkaboutthatepisodeandliketoberemindedoftheconsequencesthatflowedfromit。

PUNCH,BROTHERS,PUNCH

Willthereaderpleasetocasthiseyeoverthefollowinglines,andseeifhecandiscoveranythingharmfulinthem?

Conductor,whenyoureceiveafare,Punchinthepresenceofthepassenjare!

Abluetripslipforaneight-centfare,Abufftripslipforasix-centfare,Apinktripslipforathree-cent,fare,Punchinthepresenceofthepassenjare!

CHORUS

Punch,brothers!punchwithcare!

Punchinthepresenceofthepassenjare!

Icameacrossthesejinglingrhymesinanewspaper,alittlewhileago,andreadthemacoupleoftimes。Theytookinstantandentirepossessionofme。Allthroughbreakfasttheywentwaltzingthroughmybrain;andwhen,atlast,Irolledupmynapkin,IcouldnottellwhetherIhadeatenanythingornot。Ihadcarefullylaidoutmyday\'sworkthedaybefore——thrillingtragedyinthenovelwhichIamwriting。Iwenttomydentobeginmydeedofblood。Itookupmypen,butallIcouldgetittosaywas,\"Punchinthepresenceofthepassenjare。\"Ifoughthardforanhour,butitwasuseless。Myheadkepthumming,\"Abluetripslipforaneight-centfare,abufftripslipforasix-centfare,\"andsoonandsoon,withoutpeaceorrespite。Theday\'sworkwasruined——Icouldseethatplainlyenough。Igaveupanddrifteddown-town,andpresentlydiscoveredthatmyfeetwerekeepingtimetothatrelentlessjingle。

WhenIcouldstanditnolongerIalteredmystep。Butitdidnogood;

thoserhymesaccommodatedthemselvestothenewstepandwentonharassingmejustasbefore。Ireturnedhome,andsufferedalltheafternoon;sufferedallthroughanunconsciousandunrefreshingdinner;

suffered,andcried,andjingledallthroughtheevening;wenttobedandrolled,tossed,andjingledrightalong,thesameasever;gotupatmidnightfrantic,andtriedtoread;buttherewasnothingvisibleuponthewhirlingpageexcept\"Punch!punchinthepresenceofthepassenjare。\"BysunriseIwasoutofmymind,andeverybodymarveledandwasdistressedattheidioticburdenofmyravings——\"\'Punch!oh,punch!

punchinthepresenceofthepassenjare!\"

Twodayslater,onSaturdaymorning,Iarose,atotteringwreck,andwentforthtofulfilanengagementwithavaluedfriend,theRev。Mr——,towalktotheTalcottTower,tenmilesdistant。Hestaredatme,butaskednoquestions。Westarted。Mr——talked,talked,talkedasishiswont。Isaidnothing;Iheardnothing。Attheendofamile,Mr——said\"Mark,areyousick?Ineversawamanlooksohaggardandwornandabsent-minded。Saysomething,do!\"

Drearily,withoutenthusiasm,Isaid:\"Punchbrothers,punchwithcare!

Punchinthepresenceothepassenjare!\"

Myfriendeyedmeblankly,lookedperplexed,theysaid:

\"IdonotthinkIgetyourdrift,Mark。Thendoesnotseemtobeanyrelevancyinwhatyouhavesaid,certainlynothingsad;andyet——maybeitwasthewayyousaidthewords——Ineverheardanythingthatsoundedsopathetic。Whatis——\"

ButIheardnomore。Iwasalreadyfarawaywithmypitiless,heartbreaking\"bluetripslipforaneight-centfare,bufftripslipforasix-centfare,pinktripslipforathree-centfare;punchinthepresenceofthepassenjare。\"Idonotknowwhatoccurredduringtheotherninemiles。However,allofasuddenMr——laidhishandonmyshoulderandshouted:

\"Oh,wakeup!wakeup!wakeup!Don\'tsleepallday!HereweareattheTower,man!Ihavetalkedmyselfdeafanddumbandblind,andnevergotaresponse。Justlookatthismagnificentautumnlandscape!Lookatit!lookatit!Feastyoureyeonit!Youhavetraveled;youhaveseenboasterlandscapeselsewhere。Come,now,deliveranhonestopinion。

Whatdoyousaytothis?\"

Isighedwearily;andmurmured:

\"Abufftripslipforasix-centfare,apinktripslipforathree-centfare,punchinthepresenceofthpassenjare。\"

Rev。Mr——stoodthere,verygrave,fullofconcern,apparently,andlookedlongatme;thenhesaid:

\"Mark,thereissomethingaboutthisthatIcannotunderstand。Thoseareaboutthesamewordsyousaidbefore;theredoesnotseemtobeanythinginthem,andyettheynearlybreakmyheartwhenyousaythem。Punchinthe——howisittheygo?\"

Ibeganatthebeginningandrepeatedallthelines。

Myfriend\'sfacelightedwithinterest。Hesaid:

\"Why,whatacaptivatingjingleitis!Itisalmostmusic。Itflowsalongsonicely。Ihavenearlycaughttherhymesmyself。Saythemoverjustoncemore,andthenI\'llhavethem,sure。\"

Isaidthemover。ThenMr——saidthem。Hemadeonelittlemistake,whichIcorrected。Thenexttimeandthenexthegotthemright。Nowagreatburdenseemedtotumblefrommyshoulders。Thattorturingjingledepartedoutofmybrain,andagratefulsenseofrestandpeacedescendeduponme。Iwaslight-heartedenoughtosing;andI

didsingforhalfanhour,straightalong,aswewentjogginghomeward。

Thenmyfreedtonguefoundblessedspeechagain,andthepenttalkofmanyawearyhourbegantogushandflow。Itflowedonandon,joyously,jubilantly,untilthefountainwasemptyanddry。AsIwrungmyfriend\'shandatparting,Isaid:

\"Haven\'twehadaroyalgoodtime!ButnowIremember,youhaven\'tsaidawordfortwohours。Come,come,outwithsomething!\"

TheRev。Mr——turnedalack-lustereyeuponme,drewadeepsigh,andsaid,withoutanimation,withoutapparentconsciousness:

\"Punch,brothers,punchwithcare!Punchinthepresenceofthepassenjare!\"

ApangshotthroughmeasIsaidtomyself,\"Poorfellow,poorfellow!

hehasgotit,now。\"

IdidnotseeMr——fortwoorthreedaysafterthat。Then,onTuesdayevening,hestaggeredintomypresenceandsankdejectedlyintoaseat。Hewaspale,worn;hewasawreck。Heliftedhisfadedeyestomyfaceandsaid:

\"Ah,Mark,itwasaruinousinvestmentthatImadeinthoseheartlessrhymes。Theyhaveriddenmelikeanightmare,dayandnight,hourafterhour,tothisverymoment。SinceIsawyouIhavesufferedthetormentsofthelost。SaturdayeveningIhadasuddencall,bytelegraph,andtookthenighttrainforBoston。TheoccasionwasthedeathofavaluedoldfriendwhohadrequestedthatIshouldpreachhisfuneralsermon。

Itookmyseatinthecarsandsetmyselftoframingthediscourse。ButInevergotbeyondtheopeningparagraph;forthenthetrainstartedandthecar-wheelsbegantheir\'clack,clack-clack-clack-clack!clack-clack!——

clack-clack-clack!\'andrightawaythoseodiousrhymesfittedthemselvestothataccompaniment。ForanhourIsatthereandsetasyllableofthoserhymestoeveryseparateanddistinctclackthecar-wheelsmade。Why,Iwasasfaggedout,then,asifIhadbeenchoppingwoodallday。Myskullwassplittingwithheadache。ItseemedtomethatImustgomadifIsatthereanylonger;soIundressedandwenttobed。Istretchedmyselfoutinmyberth,and——well,youknowwhattheresultwas。Thethingwentrightalong,justthesame。

\'Clack-clackclack,abluetripslip,clack-clack-clack,foraneightcentfare;clack-clack-clack,abufftripslip,clackclack-clack,forasix-centfare,andsoon,andsoon,andsoonpunchinthepresenceofthepassenjare!\'Sleep?Notasinglewink!IwasalmostalunaticwhenIgottoBoston。Don\'taskmeaboutthefuneral。IdidthebestI

could,buteverysolemnindividualsentencewasmeshedandtangledandwoveninandoutwith\'Punch,brothers,punchwithcare,punchinthepresenceofthepassenjare。\'Andthemostdistressingthingwasthatmydeliverydroppedintotheundulatingrhythmofthosepulsingrhymes,andIcouldactuallycatchabsent-mindedpeoplenoddingtimetotheswingofitwiththeirstupidheads。And,Mark,youmaybelieveitornot,butbeforeIgotthroughtheentireassemblagewereplacidlybobbingtheirheadsinsolemnunison,mourners,undertaker,andall。ThemomentIhadfinished,Ifledtotheanteroominastateborderingonfrenzy。Ofcourseitwouldbemylucktofindasorrowingandagedmaidenauntofthedeceasedthere,whohadarrivedfromSpringfieldtoolatetogetintothechurch。Shebegantosob,andsaid:

\"\'Oh,oh,heisgone,heisgone,andIdidn\'tseehimbeforehedied!\'

\"\'Yes!\'Isaid,\'heisgone,heisgone,heisgone——oh,willthissufferingnevercease!\'

\"\'Youlovedhim,then!Oh,youtoolovedhim!\'

\"\'Lovedhim!Lovedwho?\'

\"\'Why,mypoorGeorge!mypoornephew!\'

\"\'Oh——him!Yes——oh,yes,yes。Certainly——certainly。Punch——punch——oh,thismiserywillkillme!\'

\"\'Blessyou!blessyou,sir,forthesesweetwords!I,too,sufferinthisdearloss。Wereyoupresentduringhislastmoments?\'

\"\'Yes。I——whoselastmoments?\'

\"\'His。Thedeardeparted\'s。\'

\"\'Yes!Oh,yes——yes——yes!Isupposeso,Ithinkso,Idon\'tknow!Oh,certainly——IwasthereIwasthere!\'

\"\'Oh,whataprivilege!whatapreciousprivilege!Andhislastwords——

oh,tellme,tellmehislastwords!Whatdidhesay?\'

\"\'Hesaid——hesaid-oh,myhead,myhead,myhead!Hesaid——hesaid——heneversaidanythingbutPunch,punch,punchinthepresenceofthepassenjare!Oh,leaveme,madam!Inthenameofallthatisgenerous,leavemetomymadness,mymisery,mydespair!——abufftripslipforasix-centfare,apinktripslipforathree-centfare——endu——rancecannofur——thergo!——PUNCHinthepresenceofthepassenjare!\"

Myfriend\'shopelesseyesresteduponmineapregnantminute,andthenhesaidimpressively:

\"Mark,youdonotsayanything。Youdonotoffermeanyhope。But,ahme,itisjustaswell——itisjustaswell。Youcouldnotdomeanygood。Thetimehaslonggonebywhenwordscouldcomfortme。Somethingtellsmethatmytongueisdoomedtowagforevertothejiggerofthatremorselessjingle,There——thereitiscomingonmeagain:abluetripslipforaneight-centfare,abufftripslipfora——\"

Thusmurmuringfaintandfainter,myfriendsankintoapeacefultranceandforgothissufferingsinablessedrespite。

HowdidIfinallysavehimfromanasylum?Itookhimtoaneighboringuniversityandmadehimdischargetheburdenofhispersecutingrhymesintotheeagerearsofthepoor,unthinkingstudents。Howisitwiththem,now?Theresultistoosadtotell。WhydidIwritethisarticle?

Itwasforaworthy,evenanoble,purpose。Itwastowarnyou,reader,ifyoushouldcameacrossthosemercilessrhymes,toavoidthem——avoidthemasyouwouldapestilence。

THEGREATREVOLUTIONINPITCAIRN

Letmerefreshthereader\'smemoryalittle。NearlyahundredyearsagothecrewoftheBritishshipbountymutinied,setthecaptainandhisofficersadriftupontheopensea,tookpossessionoftheship,andsailedsouthward。TheyprocuredwivesforthemselvesamongthenativesofTahiti,thenproceededtoalonelylittlerockinmid-Pacific,calledPitcairn\'sIsland,wreckedthevessel,strippedherofeverythingthatmightbeusefultoanewcolony,andestablishedthemselvesonshore。

Pitcairn\'sissofarremovedfromthetrackofcommercethatitwasmanyyearsbeforeanothervesseltouchedthere。Ithadalwaysbeenconsideredanuninhabitedisland;sowhenashipdidatlastdropitsanchorthere,in1808,thecaptainwasgreatlysurprisedtofindtheplacepeopled。

Althoughthemutineershadfoughtamongthemselves,andgraduallykilledeachotheroffuntilonlytwoorthreeoftheoriginalstockremained,thesetragedieshadnotoccurredbeforeanumberofchildrenhadbeenborn;soin1808theislandhadapopulationoftwenty-sevenpersons。

JohnAdams,thechiefmutineer,stillsurvived,andwastolivemanyyearsyet,asgovernorandpatriarchoftheflock。Frombeingmutineerandhomicide,hehadturnedChristianandteacher,andhisnationoftwenty-sevenpersonswasnowthepurestanddevoutestinChristendom。

AdamshadlongagohoistedtheBritishflagandconstitutedhisislandanappanageoftheBritishcrown。

To-daythepopulationnumbersninetypersons——sixteenmen,nineteenwomen,twenty-fiveboys,andthirtygirls——alldescendantsofthemutineers,allbearingthefamilynamesofthosemutineers,andallspeakingEnglish,andEnglishonly。Theislandstandshighupoutofthesea,andhasprecipitouswalls。Itisaboutthree-quartersofamilelong,andinplacesisasmuchashalfamilewide。Sucharablelandasitaffordsisheldbytheseveralfamilies,accordingtoadivisionmademanyyearsago。Thereissomelivestock——goats,pigs,chickens,andcats;butnodogs,andnolargeanimals。Thereisonechurch-buildingusedalsoasacapitol,aschoolhouse,andapubliclibrary。Thetitleofthegovernorhasbeen,foragenerationortwo,\"MagistrateandChiefRuler,insubordinationtoherMajestytheQueenofGreatBritain。\"Itwashisprovincetomakethelaws,aswellasexecutethem。Hisofficewaselective;everybodyoverseventeenyearsoldhadavote——nomatteraboutthesex。

Thesoleoccupationsofthepeoplewerefarmingandfishing;theirsolerecreation,religiousservices。Therehasneverbeenashopintheisland,noranymoney。Thehabitsanddressofthepeoplehavealwaysbeenprimitive,andtheirlawssimpletopuerility。TheyhavelivedinadeepSabbathtranquillity,farfromtheworldanditsambitionsandvexations,andneitherknowingnorcaringwhatwasgoingoninthemightyempiresthatliebeyondtheirlimitlessoceansolitudes。Onceinthreeorfouryearsashiptouchedthere,movedthemwithagednewsofbloodybattles,devastatingepidemics,fallenthrones,andruineddynasties,thentradedthemsomesoapandflannelforsomeyamsandbreadfruit,andsailedaway,leavingthemtoretireintotheirpeacefuldreamsandpiousdissipationsoncemore。

Onthe8thoflastSeptember,AdmiraldeHorsey,commander-in-chiefoftheBritishfleetinthePacific,visitedPitcairn\'sIsland,andspeaksasfollowsinhisofficialreporttotheadmiralty:

Theyhavebeans,carrots,turnips,cabbages,andalittlemaize;

pineapples,figtrees,custard-apples,andoranges;lemons,andcocoanuts。Clothingisobtainedalonefrompassingships,inbarterforrefreshments。Therearenospringsontheisland,butasitrainsgenerallyonceamonththeyhaveplentyofwater,althoughattimesinformeryearstheyhavesufferedfromdrought。Noalcoholicliquors,exceptformedicinalpurposes,areused,andadrunkardisunknown……

Thenecessaryarticlesrequiredbytheislandersarebestshownbythosewefurnishedinbarterforrefreshments:namely,flannel,serge,drill,half-boots,combs,tobacco,andsoap。Theyalsostandmuchinneedofmapsandslatesfortheirschool,andtoolsofanykindaremostacceptable。IcausedthemtobesuppliedfromthepublicstoreswithaUnionjack:fordisplayonthearrivalofships,andapit-saw,ofwhichtheyweregreatlyinneed。This,I

trust,willmeettheapprovaloftheirlordships。IfthemunificentpeopleofEnglandwereonlyawareofthewantsofthismostdeservinglittlecolony,theywouldnotlonggounsupplied……

DivineserviceisheldeverySundayat10。30A。M。andat3P。M。,inthehousebuiltandusedbyJohnAdamsforthatpurposeuntilhediedin1829。ItisconductedstrictlyinaccordancewiththeliturgyoftheChurchofEngland,byMr。SimonYoung,theirselectedpastor,whoismuchrespected。ABibleclassisheldeveryWednesday,whenallwhoconvenientlycanattend。ThereisalsoageneralmeetingforprayeronthefirstFridayineverymonth。

Familyprayersaresaidineveryhousethefirstthinginthemorningandthelastthingintheevening,andnofoodispartakenofwithoutaskingGod\'sblessingbeforeandafterward。Oftheseislanders\'religiousattributesnoonecanspeakwithoutdeeprespect。ApeoplewhosegreatestpleasureandprivilegeistocommuneinprayerwiththeirGod,andtojoininhymnsofpraise,andwhoare,moreover,cheerful,diligent,andprobablyfreerfromvicethananyothercommunity,neednopriestamongthem。

NowIcometoasentenceintheadmiral\'sreportwhichhedroppedcarelesslyfromhispen,nodoubt,andnevergavethematterasecondthought。Helittleimaginedwhatafreightoftragicprophecyitbore!

Thisisthesentence:

Onestranger,anAmerican,hassettledontheisland——adoubtfulacquisition。

Adoubtfulacquisition,indeed!CaptainOrmsby,intheAmericanshipHornet,touchedatPitcairn\'snearlyfourmonthsaftertheadmiral\'svisit,andfromthefactswhichhegatheredtherewenowknowallaboutthatAmerican。Letusputthesefactstogetherinhistoricalform。TheAmerican\'snamewasButterworthStavely。Assoonashehadbecomewellacquaintedwithallthepeople——andthistookbutafewdays,ofcourse——hebegantoingratiatehimselfwiththembyalltheartshecouldcommand。Hebecameexceedinglypopular,andmuchlookedupto;foroneofthefirstthingshedidwastoforsakehisworldlywayoflife,andthrowallhisenergiesintoreligion。HewasalwaysreadinghisBible,orpraying,orsinginghymns,oraskingblessings。Inprayer,noonehadsuch\"liberty\"ashe,noonecouldpraysolongorsowell。