第1章

ESSAY,FORDISCUSSION,READATAMEETINGOFTHEHISTORICAL

ANDANTIQUARIANCLUBOFHARTFORD,ANDOFFEREDFORTHE

THIRTY—DOLLARPRIZE。

Didnottaketheprize。

Observe,Idonotmeantosuggestthatthe_custom_oflyinghassufferedanydecayorinterruption—no,fortheLie,asaVirtue,APrinciple,iseternal;theLie,asarecreation,asolace,arefugeintimeofneed,thefourthGrace,thetenthMuse,man\'sbestandsurestfriend,isimmortal,andcannotperishfromtheearthwhilethisclubremains。Mycomplaintsimplyconcernsthedecayofthe_art_oflying。Nohigh—mindedman,nomanofrightfeeling,cancontemplatethelumberingandslovenlylyingofthepresentdaywithoutgrievingtoseeanobleartsoprostituted。InthisveteranpresenceI

naturallyenteruponthisthemewithdiffidence;itislikeanoldmaidtryingtoteachnurserymatterstothemothersinIsrael。Itwouldnotbecometometocriticiseyou,gentlemen—whoarenearlyallmyelders—andmysuperiors,inthisthing—ifIshouldhereandthere_seem_todoit,Itrustitwillinmostcasesbemoreinaspiritofadmirationthanfault—finding;indeedifthisfinestofthefineartshadeverywherereceivedtheattention,theencouragement,andconscientiouspracticeanddevelopmentwhichthisclubhasdevotedtoit,Ishouldnotneedtoutterthislament,orshredasingletear。

Idonotsaythistoflatter:Isayitinaspiritofjustandappreciativerecognition。[Ithadbeenmyintention,atthispoint,tomentionnamesandtogiveillustrativespecimens,butindicationsobservableaboutmeadmonishedmetobewareoftheparticularsandconfinemyselftogeneralities。]

Nofactismorefirmlyestablishedthanthatlyingisanecessityofourcircumstances—thedeductionthatitisthenaVirtuegoeswithoutsaying。

Novirtuecanreachitshighestusefulnesswithoutcarefulanddiligentcultivation—therefore,itgoeswithoutsayingthatthisoneoughttobetaughtinthepublicschools—eveninthenewspapers。Whatchancehastheignorantuncultivatedliaragainsttheeducatedexpert?WhatchancehaveI

againstMr。Per—againstalawyer?_Judicious_lyingiswhattheworldneeds。

Isometimesthinkitwereevenbetterandsafernottolieatallthantolieinjudiciously。Anawkward,unscientificlieisoftenasineffectualasthetruth。

Nowletusseewhatthephilosopherssay。Notethatvenerableproverb:

Childrenandfools_always_speakthetruth。Thedeductionisplain—adultsandwisepersons_never_speakit。Parkman,thehistorian,says,\"Theprincipleoftruthmayitselfbecarriedintoanabsurdity。\"Inanotherplaceinthesamechaptershesays,\"Thesayingisoldthattruthshouldnotbespokenatalltimes;andthosewhomasickconscienceworriesintohabitualviolationofthemaximareimbecilesandnuisances。\"Itisstronglanguage,buttrue。Noneofuscould_live_withanhabitualtruth—teller;butthankgoodnessnoneofushasto。Anhabitualtruth—tellerissimplyanimpossiblecreature;hedoesnotexist;heneverhasexisted。Ofcoursetherearepeoplewho_think_theyneverlie,butitisnotso—andthisignoranceisoneoftheverythingsthatshameourso—calledcivilization。Everybodylies—everyday;everyhour;

awake;asleep;inhisdreams;inhisjoy;inhismourning;ifhekeepshistonguestill,hishands,hisfeet,hiseyes,hisattitude,willconveydeception—andpurposely。Eveninsermons—butthatisaplatitude。

InafarcountrywhereIoncelivedtheladiesusedtogoaroundpayingcalls,underthehumaneandkindlypretenceofwantingtoseeeachother;

andwhentheyreturnedhome,theywouldcryoutwithagladvoice,saying,\"Wemadesixteencallsandfoundfourteenofthemout\"—notmeaningthattheyfoundoutanythingimportantagainstthefourteen—no,thatwasonlyacolloquialphrasetosignifythattheywerenotathome—andtheirmannerofsayingitexpressedtheirlivelysatisfactioninthatfact。Nowtheirpretenceofwantingtoseethefourteen—andtheothertwowhomtheyhadbeenlessluckywith—wasthatcommonestandmildestformoflyingwhichissufficientlydescribedasadeflectionfromthetruth。Isitjustifiable?

Mostcertainly。Itisbeautiful,itisnoble;foritsobjectis,_not_toreapprofit,buttoconveyapleasuretothesixteen。Theiron—souledtruth—mongerwouldplainlymanifest,orevenutterthefactthathedidn\'twanttoseethosepeople—andhewouldbeanass,andinflicttotallyunnecessarypain。

Andnext,thoseladiesinthatfarcountry—butnevermind,theyhadathousandpleasantwaysoflying,thatgrewoutofgentleimpulses,andwereacredittotheirintelligenceandanhonortotheirhearts。Lettheparticularsgo。