第3章

Thatalwaysseemstomeromanticandwasteful。Youneverhearfromitinanydefiniteway。Theysaythemissionarieshavedoneagooddealtoopenthewayfortrade;perhaps——buttheyhavealsogottenusintocommercialandpoliticaldifficulties。YetIgivetothem——alittle——itisamatterofconsciencewithmetoidentifymyselfwithalltheenterprisesoftheChurch;itisthemainstayofsocialorderandaprosperouscivilization。Butthebestformsofbenevolencearethewell-established,organizedoneshereathome,wherepeoplecanseethemandknowwhattheyaredoing。\"

\"Youmeantheonesthathavealocalhabitationandaname。\"

\"Yes;theyofferbyfarthesafestreturn,thoughofcoursethereissomethinggainedbycontributingtogeneralfunds。Apublicmancan\'taffordtobewithoutpublicspirit。ButonthewholeIpreferabuilding,oranendowment。Thereisamutualadvantagetoagoodnameandagoodinstitutionintheirconnectioninthepublicmind。

Ithelpsthemboth。Rememberthat,myboy。Ofcourseatthebeginningyouwillhavetopractiseitinasmallway;later,youwillhavelargeropportunities。Buttrytoputyourgiftswheretheycanbeidentifiedanddogoodallaround。You\'llseethewisdomofitinthelongrun。\"

\"Icanseeitalready,sir,andthewayyoudescribeitlooksamazinglywiseandprudent。Inotherwords,wemustcastourbreadonthewatersinlargeloaves,carriedbysoundshipsmarkedwiththeowner\'sname,sothatthereturnfreightwillbesuretocomebacktous。\"

Thefatherlaughed,buthiseyeswerefrowningalittleasifhesuspectedsomethingirreverentundertherespectfulreply。

\"Youputithumorously,butthere\'ssenseinwhatyousay。Whynot?

Godrulesthesea;butHeexpectsustofollowthelawsofnavigationandcommerce。Whynottakegoodcareofyourbread,evenwhenyougiveitaway?\"

\"It\'snotformetosaywhynot——andyetIcanthinkofcases——\"

Theyoungmanhesitatedforamoment。Hishalf-finishedcigarhadgoneout。Heroseandtosseditintothefire,infrontofwhichheremainedstanding——aslender,eager,restlessyoungfigure,withatouchofhungerinthefineface,strangelylikeandunlikethefather,atwhomhelookedwithhalf-wistfulcuriosity。

\"Thefactis,sir,\"hecontinued,\"thereissuchacaseinmymindnow,anditisagooddealonmyheart,too。SoIthoughtofspeakingtoyouaboutitto-night。YourememberTomRollins,theJuniorwhowassogoodtomewhenIenteredcollege?\"

Thefathernodded。Herememberedverywellindeedtheannoyingincidentsofhisson\'sfirstescapade,andhowRollinshadstoodbyhimandhelpedtoavoidapublicdisgrace,andhowaclosefriendshiphadgrownbetweenthetwoboys,sodifferentintheirfortunes。

\"Yes,\"hesaid,\"Irememberhim。Hewasapromisingyoungman。

Hashesucceeded?\"

\"Notexactly——thatisnotyet。Hisbusinesshasbeengoingratherbadly。

Hehasawifeandlittlebaby,youknow。Andnowhehasbrokendown,——

somethingwrongwithhislungs。ThedoctorsayshisonlychanceisayearoreighteenmonthsinColorado。Iwishwecouldhelphim。\"

\"Howmuchwoulditcost?\"

\"Threeorfourthousand,perhaps,asaloan。\"

\"Doesthedoctorsayhewillgetwell?\"

\"Afightingchance——thedoctorsays。\"

Thefaceoftheoldermanchangedsubtly。Notalinewasaltered,butitseemedtohaveadifferentsubstance,asifitwerecarvedoutofsomefirm,imperishablestuff。

\"Afightingchance,\"hesaid,\"maydoforaspeculation,butitisnotagoodinvestment。YouowesomethingtoyoungRollins。

Yourgratefulfeelingdoesyoucredit。Butdon\'toverworkit。

Sendhimthreeorfourhundred,ifyoulike。You\'llneverhearfromitagain,exceptintheletterofthanks。ButforHeaven\'ssakedon\'tbesentimental。Religionisnotamatterofsentiment;

it\'samatterofprinciple。\"

Thefaceoftheyoungermanchangednow。Butinsteadofbecomingfixedandgraven,itseemedtomeltintolifebytheheatofaninwardfire。Hisnostrilsquiveredwithquickbreath,hislipswerecurled。\"Principle!\"hesaid。\"Youmeanprincipal——andinteresttoo。Well,sir,youknowbestwhetherthatisreligionornot。

Butifitis,countmeout,please。Tomsavedmefromgoingtothedevil,sixyearsago;andI\'llbedamnedifIdon\'thelphimtothebestofmyabilitynow。\"

JohnWeightmanlookedathissonsteadily。\"Harold,\"hesaidatlast,\"youknowIdislikeviolentlanguage,anditneverhasanyinfluencewithme。IfIcouldhonestlyapproveofthispropositionofyours,I\'dletyouhavethemoney;butIcan\'t;

it\'sextravagantanduseless。ButyouhaveyourChristmascheckforathousanddollarscomingtoyouto-morrow。Youcanuseitasyouplease。

Ineverinterferewithyourprivateaffairs。\"

\"Thankyou,\"saidHarold。\"Thankyouverymuch!Butthere\'sanotherprivateaffair。Iwanttogetawayfromthislife,thistown,thishouse。

Itstiflesme。YourefusedlastsummerwhenIaskedyoutoletmegouptoGrenfell\'sMissionontheLabrador。Icouldgonow,atleastasfarastheNewfoundlandStation。Haveyouchangedyourmind?\"

\"Notatall。Ithinkitisanexceedinglyfoolishenterprise。

ItwouldinterruptthecareerthatIhavemarkedoutforyou。\"

\"Well,then,here\'sacheaperproposition。AlgyVanderhoofwantsmetojoinhimonhisyachtwith——well,withalittleparty——tocruiseintheWestIndies。Wouldyoupreferthat?\"

\"Certainlynot!TheVanderhoofsetiswildandgodless——Idonotwishtoseeyoukeepingcompanywithfoolswhowalkinthebroadandeasywaythatleadstoperdition。\"

\"Itisratherahardchoice,\"saidtheyoungman,withashortlaugh,turningtowardthedoor。\"Accordingtoyouthere\'sverylittledifference——afool\'sparadiseorafool\'shell!Well,it\'soneortheotherforme,andI\'lltossupforitto-night:heads,I

lose;

tails,thedevilwins。Anyway,I\'msickofthis,andI\'moutofit。\"

\"Harold,\"saidtheolderman(andtherewasaslighttremorinhisvoice),\"don\'tletusquarrelonChristmasEve。AllIwantistopersuadeyoutothinkseriouslyofthedutiesandresponsibilitiestowhichGodhascalledyou——don\'tspeaklightlyofheavenandhell——remember,thereisanotherlife。\"

Theyoungmancamebackandlaidhishanduponhisfather\'sshoulder。

\"Father,\"hesaid,\"Iwanttorememberit。Itrytobelieveinit。

Butsomehoworother,inthishouse,itallseemsunrealtome。

Nodoubtallyousayisperfectlyrightandwise。Idon\'tventuretoargueagainstit,butIcan\'tfeelit——that\'sall。IfI\'mtohaveasoul,eithertoloseortosave,Imustreallylive。Justnowneitherthepresentnorthefuturemeansanythingtome。Butsurelywewon\'tquarrel。