Thatalwaysseemstomeromanticandwasteful。Youneverhearfromitinanydefiniteway。Theysaythemissionarieshavedoneagooddealtoopenthewayfortrade;perhaps——buttheyhavealsogottenusintocommercialandpoliticaldifficulties。YetIgivetothem——alittle——itisamatterofconsciencewithmetoidentifymyselfwithalltheenterprisesoftheChurch;itisthemainstayofsocialorderandaprosperouscivilization。Butthebestformsofbenevolencearethewell-established,organizedoneshereathome,wherepeoplecanseethemandknowwhattheyaredoing。\"
\"Youmeantheonesthathavealocalhabitationandaname。\"
\"Yes;theyofferbyfarthesafestreturn,thoughofcoursethereissomethinggainedbycontributingtogeneralfunds。Apublicmancan\'taffordtobewithoutpublicspirit。ButonthewholeIpreferabuilding,oranendowment。Thereisamutualadvantagetoagoodnameandagoodinstitutionintheirconnectioninthepublicmind。
Ithelpsthemboth。Rememberthat,myboy。Ofcourseatthebeginningyouwillhavetopractiseitinasmallway;later,youwillhavelargeropportunities。Buttrytoputyourgiftswheretheycanbeidentifiedanddogoodallaround。You\'llseethewisdomofitinthelongrun。\"
\"Icanseeitalready,sir,andthewayyoudescribeitlooksamazinglywiseandprudent。Inotherwords,wemustcastourbreadonthewatersinlargeloaves,carriedbysoundshipsmarkedwiththeowner\'sname,sothatthereturnfreightwillbesuretocomebacktous。\"
Thefatherlaughed,buthiseyeswerefrowningalittleasifhesuspectedsomethingirreverentundertherespectfulreply。
\"Youputithumorously,butthere\'ssenseinwhatyousay。Whynot?
Godrulesthesea;butHeexpectsustofollowthelawsofnavigationandcommerce。Whynottakegoodcareofyourbread,evenwhenyougiveitaway?\"
\"It\'snotformetosaywhynot——andyetIcanthinkofcases——\"
Theyoungmanhesitatedforamoment。Hishalf-finishedcigarhadgoneout。Heroseandtosseditintothefire,infrontofwhichheremainedstanding——aslender,eager,restlessyoungfigure,withatouchofhungerinthefineface,strangelylikeandunlikethefather,atwhomhelookedwithhalf-wistfulcuriosity。
\"Thefactis,sir,\"hecontinued,\"thereissuchacaseinmymindnow,anditisagooddealonmyheart,too。SoIthoughtofspeakingtoyouaboutitto-night。YourememberTomRollins,theJuniorwhowassogoodtomewhenIenteredcollege?\"
Thefathernodded。Herememberedverywellindeedtheannoyingincidentsofhisson\'sfirstescapade,andhowRollinshadstoodbyhimandhelpedtoavoidapublicdisgrace,andhowaclosefriendshiphadgrownbetweenthetwoboys,sodifferentintheirfortunes。
\"Yes,\"hesaid,\"Irememberhim。Hewasapromisingyoungman。
Hashesucceeded?\"
\"Notexactly——thatisnotyet。Hisbusinesshasbeengoingratherbadly。
Hehasawifeandlittlebaby,youknow。Andnowhehasbrokendown,——
somethingwrongwithhislungs。ThedoctorsayshisonlychanceisayearoreighteenmonthsinColorado。Iwishwecouldhelphim。\"
\"Howmuchwoulditcost?\"
\"Threeorfourthousand,perhaps,asaloan。\"
\"Doesthedoctorsayhewillgetwell?\"
\"Afightingchance——thedoctorsays。\"
Thefaceoftheoldermanchangedsubtly。Notalinewasaltered,butitseemedtohaveadifferentsubstance,asifitwerecarvedoutofsomefirm,imperishablestuff。
\"Afightingchance,\"hesaid,\"maydoforaspeculation,butitisnotagoodinvestment。YouowesomethingtoyoungRollins。
Yourgratefulfeelingdoesyoucredit。Butdon\'toverworkit。
Sendhimthreeorfourhundred,ifyoulike。You\'llneverhearfromitagain,exceptintheletterofthanks。ButforHeaven\'ssakedon\'tbesentimental。Religionisnotamatterofsentiment;
it\'samatterofprinciple。\"
Thefaceoftheyoungermanchangednow。Butinsteadofbecomingfixedandgraven,itseemedtomeltintolifebytheheatofaninwardfire。Hisnostrilsquiveredwithquickbreath,hislipswerecurled。\"Principle!\"hesaid。\"Youmeanprincipal——andinteresttoo。Well,sir,youknowbestwhetherthatisreligionornot。
Butifitis,countmeout,please。Tomsavedmefromgoingtothedevil,sixyearsago;andI\'llbedamnedifIdon\'thelphimtothebestofmyabilitynow。\"
JohnWeightmanlookedathissonsteadily。\"Harold,\"hesaidatlast,\"youknowIdislikeviolentlanguage,anditneverhasanyinfluencewithme。IfIcouldhonestlyapproveofthispropositionofyours,I\'dletyouhavethemoney;butIcan\'t;
it\'sextravagantanduseless。ButyouhaveyourChristmascheckforathousanddollarscomingtoyouto-morrow。Youcanuseitasyouplease。
Ineverinterferewithyourprivateaffairs。\"
\"Thankyou,\"saidHarold。\"Thankyouverymuch!Butthere\'sanotherprivateaffair。Iwanttogetawayfromthislife,thistown,thishouse。
Itstiflesme。YourefusedlastsummerwhenIaskedyoutoletmegouptoGrenfell\'sMissionontheLabrador。Icouldgonow,atleastasfarastheNewfoundlandStation。Haveyouchangedyourmind?\"
\"Notatall。Ithinkitisanexceedinglyfoolishenterprise。
ItwouldinterruptthecareerthatIhavemarkedoutforyou。\"
\"Well,then,here\'sacheaperproposition。AlgyVanderhoofwantsmetojoinhimonhisyachtwith——well,withalittleparty——tocruiseintheWestIndies。Wouldyoupreferthat?\"
\"Certainlynot!TheVanderhoofsetiswildandgodless——Idonotwishtoseeyoukeepingcompanywithfoolswhowalkinthebroadandeasywaythatleadstoperdition。\"
\"Itisratherahardchoice,\"saidtheyoungman,withashortlaugh,turningtowardthedoor。\"Accordingtoyouthere\'sverylittledifference——afool\'sparadiseorafool\'shell!Well,it\'soneortheotherforme,andI\'lltossupforitto-night:heads,I
lose;
tails,thedevilwins。Anyway,I\'msickofthis,andI\'moutofit。\"
\"Harold,\"saidtheolderman(andtherewasaslighttremorinhisvoice),\"don\'tletusquarrelonChristmasEve。AllIwantistopersuadeyoutothinkseriouslyofthedutiesandresponsibilitiestowhichGodhascalledyou——don\'tspeaklightlyofheavenandhell——remember,thereisanotherlife。\"
Theyoungmancamebackandlaidhishanduponhisfather\'sshoulder。
\"Father,\"hesaid,\"Iwanttorememberit。Itrytobelieveinit。
Butsomehoworother,inthishouse,itallseemsunrealtome。
Nodoubtallyousayisperfectlyrightandwise。Idon\'tventuretoargueagainstit,butIcan\'tfeelit——that\'sall。IfI\'mtohaveasoul,eithertoloseortosave,Imustreallylive。Justnowneitherthepresentnorthefuturemeansanythingtome。Butsurelywewon\'tquarrel。