WELLWYN。IsthatMegan？
MEGAN。Yus。
WELLWYN。Comein。
[MEGANcomesin。Therefollowsanawkwardsilence，duringwhichWELLWYNturnsupthelight，thengoestotheteatableandpoursoutaglassofteaandrum。]
BERTLEY。[Kindly。]Now，myboy，howisitthatyouandyourwifearelivingapartlikethis？
MEGAN。Idunno。
BERTLEY。Well，ifyoudon’t，noneofusareverylikelyto，arewe？
MEGAN。That’swhatIthought，asIwascomin’along。
WELLWYN。[Twinkling。]Havesometea，Megan？[Handinghimtheglass。]Whatd’youthinkofherpicture？’Tisn’tquitefinished。
MEGAN。[Afterscrutiny。]Iseenherlooklikeit——once。
WELLWYN。Good！Whenwasthat？
MEGAN。[Stoically。]Whenshe’adthemeasles。
[Hedrinks。
WELLWYN。[Ruminating。]Isee——yes。Iquiteseefeverish！
BERTLEY。MydearWELLWYN，letme——[To，MEGAN。]Now，Ihopeyou’rewillingtocometogetheragain，andtomaintainher？
MEGAN。Ifshe’llmaintainme。
BERTLEY。Oh！but——Isee，youmeanyou’reinthesamelineofbusiness？
MEGAN。Yus。
BERTLEY。Andleanoneachother。Quiteso！
MEGAN。Ileanson’ermostly——with’erlooks。
BERTLEY。Indeed！Veryinteresting——that！
MEGAN。Yus。Sometimesshe’lltake’arfacrownoffofatoff。[HelooksatWELLWYN。]
WELLWYN。[Twinkling。]Iapologisetoyou，Megan。
MEGAN。[Withafaintsmile。]Icoulddowithabitmoreofit。
BERTLEY。[Dubiously。]Yes！Yes！Now，myboy，I’veheardyoubetonhorses。
MEGAN。No，Idon’t。
BERTLEY。Playcards，then？Come！Don’tbeafraidtoacknowledgeit。
MEGAN。WhenI’m’ardup——yus。
BERTLEY。Butdon’tyouknowthat’sruination？
MEGAN。Depends。SometimesIwinsalot。
BERTLEY。Youknowthat’snotatallwhatImean。Come，promisemetogiveitup。
MEGAN。Idunnoabahtthat。
BERTLEY。Now，there’sagoodfellow。Makeabigeffortandthrowthehabitoff！
MEGAN。Comesoverme——sameasitmightoveryou。
BERTLEY。Overme！Howdoyoumean，myboy？
MEGAN。[Withalookup。]Totork！
[WELLWYN，turningtothepicture，makesafunnylittlenoise。]
BERTLEY。[Maintaininghisgoodhumour。]Ahit！Butyouforget，youknow，totalk’smybusiness。It’snotyourstogamble。
MEGAN。Youtrysellin’flowers。Ifthatain’ta——gambleBERTLEY。I’mafraidwe’rewanderingalittlefromthepoint。
Husbandandwifeshouldbetogether。Youwerebroughtuptothat。
Yourfatherandmother
MEGAN。Neverwas。
WELLWYN。[Turningfromthepicture。]Thequestionis，Megan:Willyoutakeyourwifehome？She’sagoodlittlesoul。
MEGAN。Sheneverletmeknowit。
[Thereisafeebleknockonthedoor。]
WELLWYN。Well，nowcome。Heresheis！
[Hepointstothedoor，andstandsregardingMEGANwithhisfriendlysmile。]
MEGAN。[Withagleamofresponsiveness。]Imight，perhaps，topleaseyou，sir。
BERTLEY。[Appropriatingthegesture。]Capital，Ithoughtweshouldgetonintime。
MEGAN。Yus。
[WELLWYNopensthedoor。MRS。MEGANandFERRANDarerevealed。
Theyareabouttoenter，butcatchingsightofMEGAN，hesitate。]
BERTLEY。Comein！Comein！
[MRS。MEGANentersstolidly。FERRAND，following，standsapartwithanairofextremedetachment。MEGAN，afteraquickglanceatthemboth，remainsunmoved。Noonehasnoticedthatthedoorofthemodel’sroomhasbeenopened，andthattheunsteadyfigureofoldTIMSONisstandingthere。]
BERTLEY。[AlittleawkwardinthepresenceofFERRAND——totheMEGANS。]Thisbeginsanewchapter。Wewon’timprovetheoccasion。
Noneed。
[MEGAN，turningtowardshiswife，makesheragestureasiftosay:\"Here！let’sgetoutofthis！\"]
BENTLEY。Yes，yes，you’llliketogethomeatonce——Iknow。[Heholdsuphishandmechanically。]
TIMSON。Iforbidsthebanns。
BERTLEY，[Startled。]Gracious！
TIMSON。[Extremelyunsteady。]Justcauseandimpejiment。There’estands。[HepointstoFERRAND。]Thecrimsonforeigner！Themockin’
jay！
WELLWYN。Timson！
TIMSON。You’reagen’leman——I’maweero’thatbutImustspeakthetruth——[hewaveshishand]an’shamethedevil！
BERTLEY。Isthistherum——？
TIMSON。[Struckbytheword。]I’mateetotaler。
WELLWYN。Timson，Timson！
TIMSON。Seein’asthere’sladiespresent，Iwon’tbeconspicuous。
[Movingaway，andmakingforthedoor，hestrikesagainstthedais，andmountsuponit。]ButwhatIdosay，is:He’snobetterthan’erandshe’sworse。
BERTLEY。Thisisdistressing。
FERRAND。[Calmly。]Onmyhonour，Monsieur！
[TIMSONgrowls。]
WELLWYN。Now，now，Timson！
TIMSON。That’sallright。You’reagen’leman，an’I’magen’leman，butheain’tan’sheain’t。
WELLWYN。Weshallnotbelieveyou。
BERTLEY。No，no;weshallnotbelieveyou。
TIMSON。[Heavily。]Verywell，youdoubtsmyword。Willitmakeanydifference，Guv’nor，ifIspeaksthetruth？
BERTLEY。No，certainlynot——thatis——ofcourse，itwill。
TIMSON。Well，then，Isee’emplainerthanIsee[pointingatBERTLEY]thetwoofyou。
WELLWYN。Bequiet，Timson！
BERTLEY。Notevenherhusbandbelievesyou。
MEGAN。[Suddenly。]Don’tI！
WELLWYN。Come，Megan，youcanseetheoldfellow’sinParadise。
BERTLEY。Doyoucreditsucha——suchanobject？
[HepointsatTIMSON，whoseemsfallingasleep。
MEGAN。Naow！
[Unseenbyanybody，ANNhasreturned。
BERTLEY。Well，then，myboy？
MEGAN。Iseen’emmeself。
BERTLEY。Gracious！Butjustnowyouwerewill
MEGAN。[Sardonically。]Therewasn’tnothingagainstmehonour，then。Nowyou’vetookitawaybetweenyou，cumin’ahtwithitlikethis。Idon’twantnomoreof’er，andI’llwantagooddealmoreof’im;as’e’llsoonfind。
[HejerkshischinatFERRAND，turnsslowlyonhisheel，andgoesoutintothestreet。]
[Therefollowsaprofoundsilence。]
ANN。WhatdidIsay，Daddy？Utter！Allthree。
[Suddenlyalivetoherpresence，theyallturn。
TIMSON。[Wakingupandlookingroundhim。]Well，p’rapsI’dbettergo。
[AssistedbyWELLWYNhelurchesgingerlyoffthedaistowardsthedoor，whichWELLWYNholdsopenforhim。
TIMSON。[Mechanically。]Whereto，sir？
[Receivingnoanswerhepassesout，touchinghishat;andthedoorisclosed。]
WELLWYN。Ann！
[ANNgoesbackwhenceshecame。]
[BERTLEY，steadilyregardingMRS。MEGAN，whohasputherarmupinfrontofherface，beckonstoFERRAND，andtheyoungmancomesgravelyforward。]
BERTLEY。Youngpeople，thisisverydreadful。[MRS。MEGANlowersherarmalittle，andlooksathimoverit。]Verysad！
MRS。MEGAN。[Droppingherarm。]Megan’snobetterthanwhatIam。
BERTLEY。Come，come！Here’syourhomebrokenup！[MRS。MEGAN
Smiles。Shakinghisheadgravely。]Surely—surely—youmustn’tsmile。[MRS。MEGANbecomestragic。]That’sbetter。Now，whatistobedone？
FERRAND。Believeme，Monsieur，Igreatlyregret。
BERTLEY。I’mgladtohearit。
FERRAND。IfIhadforeseenthisdisaster。
BERTLEY。Isthatyouronlyreasonforregret？
FERRAND。[Withalittlebow。]Anyreasonthatyouwish，Monsieur。
Iwilldomypossible。
MRS。MEGAN。Icouldgetanunfurnishedroomif[sheslideshereyesroundatWELLWYNI’adthemoneytofurnishit。
BERTLEY。ButsupposeIcaninduceyourhusbandtoforgiveyou，andtakeyouback？
MRS。MEGAN。[Shakingherhead。]’E’d’itme。
BERTLEY。Isaidtoforgive。
MRS。MEGAN。Thatwouldn’tmakenodifference。[WithaflashatBERTLEY。]An’Iain’tforgivenhim！
BERTLEY。Thatissinful。
MRS。MEGAN。I’maCatholic。
BERTLEY。Mygoodchild，whatdifferencedoesthatmake？
FERRAND。Monsieur，ifImightinterpretforher。
[BERTLEYsilenceshimwithagesture。MRS。MEGAN。]
[SlidinghereyestowardsWELLWYN。]IfI’adthemoneytobuysomefreshstock。]
BERTLEY。Yes;yes;nevermindthemoney。WhatIwanttofindinyouboth，isrepentance。
MRS。MEGAN。[Withaflashupathim。]Ican’tgetmelivin’offofrepentin’。
BERTLEY。Now，now！Neversaywhatyouknowtobewrong。
FERRAND。Monsieur，hersoulisverysimple。
BERTLEY。[Severely。]Idonotknow，sir，thatweshallgetanygreatassistancefromyourviews。Infact，onethingiscleartome，shemustdiscontinueyouracquaintanceshipatonce。
FERRAND。Certainly，Monsieur。Wehavenoseriousintentions。
BERTLEY。Allthemoreshametoyou，then！
FERRAND。Monsieur，Iseeperfectlyyourpointofview。Itisverynatural。[Hebowsandissilent。]
MRS。MEGAN。Idon’twant’imhurt’coso’me。Megan’llgethismatestobelthim——bein’foreignlikeheis。
BERTLEY。Yes，nevermindthat。It’syouI’mthinkingof。
MRS。MEGAN。I’dsoonerthey’dhitme。
WELLWYN。[Suddenly。]Wellsaid，mychild！
MRS。MEGAN。’Twasn’thisfault。
FERRAND。[Withoutirony——toWELLWYN。]IcannotacceptthatMonsieur。Theblame——itisallmine。
ANN。[Enteringsuddenlyfromthehouse。]Daddy，they’rehavinganawful！
[ThevoicesofPROFESSORCALWAYandSIRTHOMASHOXTONaredistinctlyheard。]
CALWAY。Thequestionisamuchwiderone，SirThomas。
HOXTON。Aswideasyoulike，you’llnever
[WELLWYNpushesANNbackintothehouseandclosesthedoorbehindher。Thevoicesarestillfaintlyheardarguingonthethreshold。]
BERTLEY。Letmegoinhereaminute，Wellyn。Imustfinishspeakingtoher。[HemotionsMRS。MEGANtowardsthemodel’sroom。]
Wecan’tleavethematterthus。]
FERRAND。[Suavely。]Doyoudesiremycompany，Monsieur？
[BERTLEY，withaprohibitivegestureofhishand，shepherdsthereluctantMRS。MEGANintothemodel’sroom。]
WELLWYN。[Sorrowfully。]Youshouldn’thavedonethis，Ferrand。Itwasn’tthesquarething。
FERRAND。[Withdignity。]Monsieur，IfeelthatIaminthewrong。
Itwasstrongerthanme。
[Ashespeaks，SIRTHOMASHOXTONandPROFESSORCALWAYenterfromthehouse。Inthedimlight，andthefullcryofargument，theydonotnoticethefiguresatthefire。SIR
THOMASHOXTONleadstowardsthestreetdoor。]
HOXTON。No，Sir，Irepeat，ifthecountryoncecommitsitselftoyourviewsofreform，it’sasgoodasdoomed。
CALWAY。Iseemtohaveheardthatbefore，SirThomas。Andletmesayatoncethatyourhitty—missycart—loadofbricksregime
HOXTON。Isadeucedsightbetter，sir，thanyourgrand—motherlymethods。Whattheoldfellowwantsisashock！Withallthissocialisticmolly—coddling，you’relosingsightoftheindividual。
CALWAY。[Swiftly。]You，sir，withyour\"deviltakethehindmost，\"
haveneverevenseenhim。
[SIRTHOMASHOXTON，throwingbackagestureofdisgust，stepsoutintothenight，andfallsheavilyPROFESSORCALWAY，hasteningtohisrescue，fallsmoreheavilystill。]
[TIMSON，momentarilyrousedfromslumberonthedoorstep，sitsup。]
HOXTON。[Strugglingtohisknees。]Damnation！
CALWAY。[Sitting。]Howsimultaneous！
[WELLWYNandFERRANDapproachhastily。]
FERRAND。[PointingtoTIMSON。]Monsieur，itwastrue，itseems。
Theyhadlostsightoftheindividual。
[APolicemanhasappearedunderthestreetlamp。HepicksupHOXTON’Shat。]
CONSTABLE。Anythingwrong，sir？
HOXTON。[Recoveringhisfeet。]Wrong？GreatScott！Constable！
Whydoyouletthingslieaboutinthestreetlikethis？Lookhere，Wellyn！
[TheyallscrutinizeTIMSON。]
WELLWYN。It’sonlytheoldfellowwhosereformyouwerediscussing。
HOXTON。Howdidhecomehere？
CONSTABLE。Drunk，sir。[AscertainingTIMSONtobeinthestreet。]
Justoffthepremises，bygoodluck。Comealong，father。
TIMSON。[Assistedtohisfeet—drowsily。]Cert’nly，bynomeans;
takemyarm。
[Theymovefromthedoorway。HOXTONandCALWAYre—enter，andgotowardsthefire。]
ANN。[Enteringfromthehouse。]What’shappened？
CALWAY。Mightwehaveabrush？
HOXTON。[Testily。]Letitdry！
[Hemovestothefireandstandsbeforeit。PROFESSORCALWAY
followingstandsalittlebehindhim。ANNreturningbeginstobrushthePROFESSOR’ssleeve。]
WELLWYN。[Turningfromthedoor，wherehehasstoodlookingaftertherecedingTIMSON。]PooroldTimson！
FERRAND。[Softly。]Mustbephilosopher，Monsieur！Theywillbutrunhiminalittle。
[Fromthemodel’sroomMRS。MEGANhascomeout，shepherdedbyCANONBERTLEY。
BERTLEY。Let’ssee，yourChristiannameis。
MRS。MEGAN。Guinevere。
BERTLEY。Oh！Ah！Ah！Ann，takeGui—takeourlittlefriendintothestudyaminute:Iamgoingtoputherintoservice。Weshallmakeanewwomanofher，yet。
ANN。[HandingCANONBERTLEYthebrush，andturningtoMRS。MEGAN。]
Comeon！
[Sheleadsintothehouse，andMRS。MEGANfollowsStolidly。]
BERTLEY。[BrushingCALWAY’Sback。]Haveyoufallen？
CALWAY。Yes。
BERTLEY。Dearme！Howwasthat？
HOXTON。Thatoldruffiandrunkonthedoorstep。Hopethey’llgivehimasharpdose！Theserag—tags！
[Helooksround，andhisangryeyeslightbychanceonFERRAND。
FERRAND。[WithhiseyesonHOXTON——softly。]Monsieur，somethingtellsmeitistimeItooktheroadagain。
WELLWYN。[Fumblingoutasovereign。]Takethis，then！
FERRAND。[Refusingthecoin。]Non，Monsieur。Toabuse’ospitalityisnotinmycharacter。
BERTLEY。Wemustnotdespairofanyone。
HOXTON。Whotalkedofdespairing？Treathim，asIsay，andyou’llsee！
CALWAY。TheinterestoftheState
HOXTON。Theinterestoftheindividualcitizensir
BERTLEY。Come！Alittleofboth，alittleofboth！
[Theyresumetheirbrushing。]
FERRAND。Youarenowdebarrassedofusthree，Monsieur。Ileaveyouinstead——thesesirs。[Hepoints。]’Aurevoir，Monsieur’！
[Motioningtowardsthefire。]’AppyNewYear！
[Heslipsquietlyout。WELLWYN，turning，contemplatesthethreereformers。Theyareallnowbrushingaway，scratchingeachother’sbacks，andgravelyhissing。Asheapproachesthem，theyspeakwithacertainunanimity。
HOXTON。Mytheory！
CALWAY。Mytheory！
BERTLEY。Mytheory！
[Theystopsurprised。WELLWYNmakesagestureofdiscomfort，astheyspeakagainwithstillmoreunanimity。
HOXTON。My！CALWAY。My！BERTLEY。My！
[Theystopingreatersurprise。Thestageisblotteddark。]
Curtain。
ACTIII
ItisthefirstofApril——awhitespringdayofgleamsanddrivingshowers。ThestreetdoorofWELLWYN’sstudiostandswideopen，and，pastit，inthestreet，thewindiswhirlingbitsofstrawandpaperbags。Throughthedoorcanbeseenthebuttendofastationaryfurniturevanwithitsflapletdown。Tothisvanthreehumble—meninshirtsleevesandaprons，arecarryingoutthecontentsofthestudio。Thehissingsamovar，thetea—pot，thesugar，andthenearlyemptydecanterofrumstandonthelowroundtableinthefast—being—guttedroom。WELLWYNinhisulsterandsofthat，issquattingonthelittlestoolinfrontoftheblazingfire，staringintoit，andsmokingahand—madecigarette。Hehasamoultingair。
Behindhimthehumble—menpass，embracingbustsandotherarticlesofvertu。
CHIEFH’MAN。[Stopping，andstandingintheattitudeofexpectation。]We’veaboutpinchedthislittlelot，sir。Shallwetakethe——reservoir？
[Heindicatesthesamovar。]
WELLWYN。Ah！[Abstractedlyfeelinginhispockets，andfindingcoins。]Thanks——thanks——heavywork，I’mafraid。
H’MAN。[Receivingthecoins——alittlesurprisedandagooddealpleased。]Thank’ee，sir。Muchobliged，I’msure。We’ll’avetocomebackforthis。[Hegivesthedaisavigorouspushwithhisfoot。]Notafixture，asIunderstand。Perhapsyou’dlikeustoleavethese’ereforabit。[Heindicatestheteathings。]
WELLWYN。Ah！do。
[Thehumble—mengoout。Thereisthesoundofhorsesbeingstarted，andthebuttendofthevandisappears。WELLWYNstaysonhisstool，smokingandbroodingoverthefare。Theopendoorwayisdarkenedbyafigure。CANONBERTLEYisstandingthere。
BERTLEY。WELLWYN！[WELLWYNturnsandrises。]It’sagessinceI
sawyou。Noideayouweremoving。Thisisverydreadful。
WELLWYN。Yes，Annfoundthis——tooexposed。ThattallhouseinFlightStreet——we’regoingthere。Seventhfloor。
BERTLEY。Lift？
[WELLWYNshakeshishead。]
BERTLEY。Dearme！Nolift？Fineview，nodoubt。[WELLWYNnods。]
You’llbegreatlymissed。
WELLWYN。SoAnnthinks。Vicar，what’sbecomeofthatlittleflower—sellerIwaspaintingatChristmas？Youtookherintoservice。
BERTLEY。Notwe——exactly！Somedearfriendsofours。Painfulsubject！
WELLWYN。Oh！
BERTLEY。Yes。Shegotthefootmanintotrouble。
WELLWYN。Didshe，now？
BERTLEY。Disappointing。IconsultedwithCALWAY，andheadvisedmetotryacertaininstitution。Wegothersafelyin——excellentplace;but，d’youknow，shebrokeoutthreeweeksago。Andsince——
I’veheard[heholdshishandsup]hopeless，I’mafraid——quite！
WELLWYN。IthoughtIsawherlastnight。Youcan’ttellmeheraddress，Isuppose？
BERTLEY。[Shakinghishead。]Thehusbandtoohasquitepassedoutofmyken。Hebettedonhorses，youremember。I’msometimestemptedtobelievethere’snothingforsomeofthesepoorfolkbuttoprayfordeath。
[ANNhasenteredfromthehouse。Herhairhangsfromunderaknittedcap。Shewearsawhitewooljersey，andaloosesilkscarf。]
BERTLEY。Ah！Ann。IwastellingyourfatherofthatpoorlittleMrs。Megan。
ANN。Isshedead？
BERTLEY。WorseIfear。Bytheway——whatbecameofheraccomplice？
ANN。Wehaven’tseenhimsince。[ShelookssearchinglyatWELLWYN。]Atleast——haveyou——Daddy？
WELLWYN。[Ratherhurt。]No，mydear;Ihavenot。
BERTLEY。Andthe——oldgentlemanwhodranktherum？
ANN。Hegotfourteendays。Itwasthefifthtime。
BERTLEY。Dearme！
ANN。Whenhecameouthegotmoredrunkthanever。RatherascoreforProfessorCalway，wasn’tit？
BERTLEY。Iremember。HeandSirThomastookakindlyinterestintheoldfellow。
ANN。Yes，theyfelloverhim。TheProfessorgothimintoanInstitution。
BERTLEY。Indeed！
ANN。Hewasperfectlysoberallthetimehewasthere。
WELLWYN。Mydear，theyonlyallowthemmilk。
ANN。Well，anyway，hewasreformed。
WELLWYN。Ye—yes！
ANN。[Terribly。]Daddy！You’vebeenseeinghim！
WELLWYN。[Withdignity。]Mydear，Ihavenot。